clown-alchemist

[clown-alchemist]

I'm reading the scriptwriters' guide for TOS and it's cracking me up in many places. It's so obvious that, from the very beginning, they were already aware of so many of the issues people complain about today.

First there's a multiple choice quiz, what's wrong with this scene?

Answer: C! Absolutely Kirk would not hug the yeoman at this point! That's unprofessional!

The Prime Directive gets explained. As I keep telling people, it's not never broken, it's just supposed to only be broken for very good reasons.

For people wondering how to write a stardate: you make up some numbers!

No saluting! Yes optimism!

There is so much "think of the budget" in here. Yes you can use the shuttle bay but only if it's relevant, we have to use miniatures. Yes you can have a space suit but please don't ask for zero gravity. And where aliens are concerned, you can have some makeup but please focus on the interior differences not just tentacles!

Honestly I think Spock is a better alien than, say, Jabba the Hutt, because as human as he looks, he's much more different on the inside. People like to dismiss Star Trek aliens as "forehead of the week" but it's kind of a stage shorthand for "we're about to discover a unique culture, these people are different from you in ways you might not expect."

And to wrap up:

[clown-alchemist]

Until people see voting as their highest civic duty to their community and not as a reward/punishment program for politicians, we're going to be in this cycle forever.

[clown-alchemist]

been feeling insane over scott summers so i hit him over the head with a dsm-5

[clown-alchemist]

actually the best part of the new superman movie is the fact that lois and clark have been dating for only three months because that means clark fell so hard he told her his whole ass secret identity in 90 days. fucking u-haul lesbian behavior.

[clown-alchemist]

Hey. Why isn’t the moon landing a national holiday in the US. Isn’t that fucked up? Does anyone else think that’s absurd?

[clown-alchemist]

nuclear power is impressive until you get up to why. "we use the most precisely engineered machinery ever created to split atoms to release energy" oh yeah how come? "boil water to turn a fan" get the fuck out

[clown-alchemist]

i really could write an essay on how shit is that we’ve completely abandoned the monster-of-the-week episode format even when rebooting shows that relied on it to replace them with grimdark edgy plotlines where nothing feels good or accomplished at the end of the day

[clown-alchemist]

Ok, imagine you're comic accurate Clark Kent and you're a working-class immigrant raised on a farm. You grow up and dedicate your life to helping people while being a total malewife to your Pulitzer prize winner girlfriend. You're despised and targeted by an unethical, megalomaniacal billionaire who thinks his intellect and his power and his wealth entitles him to your inherent abilities and the adoration you've earned through years of nonstop altruism. YOU WERE CREATED BY TWO JEWISH MEN IN THE 1930S

And then people complain about a movie about you being too woke

[clown-alchemist]

Cyclops!

[clown-alchemist]

I'm going to *remembers suicide jokes are detrimental to my mental health* quit my job and start making shoes for American Girl Dolls

[clown-alchemist]

they are best friends

[clown-alchemist]

God gives his hardest battles to his strongest soldiers and I'm dodging the draft

[clown-alchemist]

[clown-alchemist]

magneto is a zionist and xavier is a diaspora jew tyring to survive via assimilation and hiding and if you are a goyische x-men fan who talks constantly about how mutants are a metaphor for gay people then you are missing the point.

[clown-alchemist]

Guys do you think she’s excited

[clown-alchemist]

NEVER KILL YOURSELF SUPERMAN IS GOOFY AGAIN HE’S NICE TO CHILDREN HE’S CORNY AND HOPEFUL AND GOOD WE ARE SO BACK

[clown-alchemist]

SUPERMAN SUPERMAN SUPERMAN SUPERMAN SUPERMAN SUPERMAN SUPERMAN SUPERMAN SUPERMAN SUPERMAN SUPERMAN SUPERMAN SUPERMAN SUPERMAN SUPERMAN

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