clownmuppet

[clownmuppet]

i'm an adult with a job and like. friends and a life, so i don't make it my business to go snooping on accounts of people i'm not close to anymore, but i do have friends who send me screenshots sometimes if they feel like i should see them.

the last thing i'll say is this: i'm an adult, more grown than i was before and growing everyday, and i can confidently admit that i could've been braver about communicating things some years ago. i've gotten better at it, discovering a lot more things about myself and realizing my own self worth has helped me get better at it. i can also admit that like everyone else, i am human and i make mistakes.

what i won't admit is that i'm an awful person or a selfish coward just because i chose to not reconnect with someone i had moved on from, where a boundary had been made, because of an unfortunate passing. am i sad that her mom passed? absolutely i am, she was an amazing woman and i find it deeply unfair that it's always the best people who leave this world too soon. do i feel guilty for not reconnecting when she reached out to me? no, firstly because i didn't even see the message for months because i am not active here. and secondly because she circumnavigated the boundaries i set to send the message to me. making a new account to get around being blocked is a violation of a boundary. screenshotting my post so she can post it publicly on her twitter to get her twitter followers support and approval about what a piece of shit i am certainly isn't going to accomplish anything. seeking out my sisters after i've not responded to the first one is a violation of a boundary. regardless of how many years we were friends, how inseparable we were, how much we meant to each other, purposely getting around the boundaries i set is disrespectful.

we were good friends, best friends for years, but friendships don't always last a lifetime. and getting blasted on twitter about how she "questions my grasp on reality and emotions" and how i'm an awful, selfish piece of shit when she hasn't known me and the person i've grown into for YEARS now has only soiled every good memory i had left.

so if you're reading this after you snoop on my tumblr again, go ahead and show your twitter followers, i'm not posting anything about any of it again after this, because i have moved on. i don't lose any sleep over it, i don't need to post it everywhere publicly for everyone to gang up in my replies to agree with me. and if it makes you feel better to call me awful names and tell everyone who never knew me how shitty i was, that's fine with me

[clownmuppet]

last thing i'll say before disappearing again LMAO the last time i was on here i had gotten a message from my former best friend and college roommate, who i had not talked to in 2 years at that point, where she had made a whole new account to getting around me blocking her and was messaging me about her mom being sick. which i did not see until 2 months after the message was sent. and then she bothered my sisters on their social media about me seeing it. and then she vagued me on twitter calling me a "selfish coward" who "couldn't communicate to save her fucking life" just because i didn't randomly seek her out to tell her i was sorry her mom died after not speaking to her for upwards of 3 years...

a very interesting moment in my life for sure

[clownmuppet]

are u in a relationship? :-)

YES! hello i don't use tumblr anymore but i saw this message :) i have a very lovely and darling gf of many years who I adore with my entire heart, so thank u for asking!

[clownmuppet]

oh noooo, don't fall madly in love with me and make me feel special and understood and loved and safe and definitely don't make me fall in love with you and let me make you my home and love you how you want and need to be loved

[clownmuppet]

me when I discover I'm probably autistic and suddenly become so hyperaware of how bad at socializing I am to the point where I become even more inept at it out of. sheer embarrassment that I cannot do it

[clownmuppet]

[clownmuppet]

One day I'll forgive myself for all the years I wasted!!! But today I think I'm going to lay down in my bed and torture myself with it

[clownmuppet]

today was nice weather hehe

[clownmuppet]

[clownmuppet]

[clownmuppet]

y'all want glowy mooshroom

[clownmuppet]

skincare is so focused on being wrinkle-less and having perfectly smooth skin but... i find it so weird and unsettling when people have like. completely smooth foreheads and that VERY specific look that comes with getting lip injections and botox

it's so scary why doesn't your forehead wrinkle when you raise your eyebrows it's so bizarre

[clownmuppet]

baked with love 🍰💗

part of my valentine’s day themed arts!!

[clownmuppet]

i don't know which extremely online teenager needs to hear this but delete your discourse blog. just do it. trust me on this

[clownmuppet]

i think casting unknown people is the best possible decision casting directors can make at this point like stop using the same five people in every film

[clownmuppet]

okay kid. heres the deal. if theres a pic of two cats cuddling thats me and my wife. if one of them is orange then the orange one is my wife because its her favourite. okay kid? alright?

[clownmuppet]