clownspouse

[clownspouse]

There are always chores that need to be done in a village, regardless of profession. One of which is morning duty.

Members of a village are rotated on morning patrols, where they scare off night creatures lingering in the fields, usually disorientated spiders and phantoms, or creepers trying to hunker down in the crops. More info below.

They also have the unpleasant job of cleaning up the smoldering remains of zombies and skeletons. It’s a crucial time for reporting any damage to houses, fences or golems, and any strange activity, such as missing livestock and crops. The culprits are usually benign: wild animals or misbehaving teenagers, but occasionally stranger things occur. Items and materials nonsensically relocated by Endermen, or even rarer, animals picked clean until they are merely a pile of bones and inedible parts.

This phenomenon is attributed to a vast array of folkloric monsters from village to village, but the real root are typically starving and injured players desperate enough to risk the ire of an iron golem. They need to consume large amounts of protein to regenerate severe wounds, and will enter a lethargic, trance-like state in order to conserve energy while they seek out food, impairing their judgement. They may otherwise attempt to eat inedible materials, like flour, dirt and hay, particularly if they have only spawned recently and are still in their infantile stage.

Villagers on patrol often wear brightly coloured clothing so they’re easy to spot in the fields.

[clownspouse]

the People pleaser in me setting exactly one☝️ boundary

[clownspouse]

I think when you correctly identify a trauma that is the base of a woe of yours it should just disappear. It should be like "aaahh. you got me" and vanish and leave 100 dollars behind

[clownspouse]

no matter how miserable i am at least im not in school and i dont have a kid and im not married

[clownspouse]

[clownspouse]

You gotta feel for the guy that made his egg college style (in the microwave) and posted it on fb but didn’t realize you could see the reflection of his sausage and beans. If that happened to me I would simply pass away. I could take a picture of the sky and triple check it just to make sure my tits aren’t somehow in the shot before I post it online. It is a real fear. The guys follow up remains one of my all time favorites though.

Like I am so sorry that happened to him but he truly could not have addressed it in a funnier way

[clownspouse]

[clownspouse]

[clownspouse]

[clownspouse]

cr 豚鼠大boss （sound on）

[clownspouse]

Xenomorph frogs - Sculptures by Li Changchun

2018

[clownspouse]

This is legitimately one of my fav quotes from him

[clownspouse]

fuck me all my friends have jobs which means they have no time to play toys with me and its fuycking ruining my life

[clownspouse]

Kurt Cobain, Nirvana, In Utero, 1994

[clownspouse]

awow. awow. awow. Awow. awowAwowawowAwow awow awow awow. bup bup bupbup bup bup bup bup bup. if you even care

[clownspouse]

it's funny when quotes from communist figures breach containment online and people are like "btw in case you didn't know this guy was really problematic"

[clownspouse]