clueless-airhead

[clueless-airhead]

makes me sick to see people dedicating their lives to their careers and families. what about phone in bed

[clueless-airhead]

— Georgia O'Keeffe

[clueless-airhead]

College friendship is sending one of your friends who's graduating soon a giant list of monster theory and gothic horror academic reading recs so they can download as many PDFs as possible before they lose their university database access

[clueless-airhead]

Hey anybody going to talk about rescued sacrificial maidens. Like yes a guy with a fuck off sword turned up and so you're not getting fed to the dragon/water creature/mountain spirit/vague embodiment of all things scary and you get to go back home, but is that really home? Your mom hugs you and your dad says he's so happy you're alive and you know that when they said they'll do anything to keep you safe they didn't really mean it. They have a feast prepared and you get to taste what they cooked for your funeral, help wash the dishes after. And it's selfish to think that between the whole village with everyone in it and you they wouldn't pick the lesser evil but it still leaves an emptiness in your chest, knowing exactly how much your life is worth. And the neighbors smile at you awkwardly and the neighbors' kids yell "hey! I thought you died!" because they don't know not to do that yet and maybe you did. Maybe you did.

And the hero with the fuck-off sword rode off into the sunset the way they always do but you're still here and you herd the cows by the cliff where you were tied up in your cleanest clothes waiting to not be alive anymore and sometimes you think that would be easier and when you don't come back one day, you can imagine it's a relief for everyone involved. Maybe you'll be the new thing to haunt the mountain, or maybe you'll follow down the road and listen for cries that sound like yours did. Either way, there's little left to fear. You know exactly how much your life is worth.

[clueless-airhead]

collection of posts for a very specific dynamic

[clueless-airhead]

clown

In which Sebek in order to cope with his feelings towards certain human, decides to get you together with Silver

You were confused.

Silver was also confused.

Meanwhile Sebek was confused that his desperate attempts were shattered by the two of you.

However, Lilia wasn’t confused and he promptly organized a special-secret-meeting-without-Sebek (sadly, Malleus wasn’t invited, since he wasn’t even aware of the current situation). Oh, how you wished to be blissfully unaware of it as well.

,,Guys, I think Sebek is freaking insane”

You whispered, not wanting to make any unnecessary noise. Despite Lilia’s assurance that Sebek was currently out studying in the library, you didn’t want to take any chances given the topic of today’s meeting.

,,And you noticed it just now?”

Silver retorted nonchalantly, earning an eye roll from you. Meanwhile Lilia was pouring some tea for all of you with a small, yet playful smile on his lips, which told you that he knew exactly what was Sebek’s problem this time. The way amusement was visible in Diasomnia’s vice-house warden clearly showed that he knew the root cause of Zigvolt’s weird behavior recently.

,,I mean, he was always a clown, but nowadays? He’s the clowniest clown ever. Something changed, but I can’t pinpoint his intentions”

You calmly stated, playing with the hem of the tablecloth. Silver didn’t really look that worried or surprised; after all in his eyes Sebek has always been some sort of clown. It was quite alright to disregard this situation. However, you seemed a bit concerned. You furrowed your eyebrows, pondering for a moment.

It’s not like you and Sebek were close friends. Frankly, you weren’t even sure if you could call your bizarre relationship a friendship? Perhaps, you were just colleagues or acquaintances. You couldn’t tell, since Sebek was hard to analyze.

Your first meeting ended in you two loosing your tempers and screaming at each other over some trivial matter. Then, you both got paired for the class project, that resulted in more ungodly yelling and arguing. Sebek thought that after that catastrophe of the project, you two would part your ways never to speak again. Oh, how wrong was he. You and Silver got along splendidly, so you became a frequent guest in Diasomnia, which irked Sebek who was always picking up a fight with you.

Then he spotted you reading and appreciating his favorite book, then one time you managed to calm down the horses that were scared of him for no reason, then you were impressed at him when he lifted heavy things…

And suddenly and magically, Sebek tried not to yell in your presence.

Or at least, not to yell at you specifically.

Which made you concerned for his sanity. Perhaps, you were losing him.

,,Leave him be. It’s Sebek after all, there’s no point in analyzing his behavior”

Silver stated, yawning, clearly bored with the topic of the conversation. Yet, you weren’t one to give up. Your eyes flickered and landed on Lilia who looked as if he was having time of his live. He was clearly enjoying your distress over the whole situation.

,,He is acting weird, right? I’m not going insane?”

You asked, staring at Lilia. He could hear in the tone of your voice that you were getting impatient and you were anticipating the confirmation. He let out an amused chuckle, before finally giving you a response.

,,My, my, yes. Poor Sebek has something on his mind that it’s troubling him and he doesn’t know how to deal with it”

“It’s concerning Malleus, isn’t it?”

Silver snickered, not bothering to open his eyes. You were sure that in the span of next 10 minutes, he would be asleep and peacefully napping, ignoring Sebek-situation. You rolled your eyes once again, prodding the man sitting next to you.

,,If it concerned Malleus, I would invite him here. The matter concerns two of you, Y/N more precisely”

You almost choked on your tea and Silver opened his eyes in surprise. You two had never expected that perhaps you two were the cause behind Sebek’s antics. Lilia signed heavily.

,,My, you two are really oblivious. Sebek has been trying to get you two together and so far, he is failing splendidly”

Now Silver was wide awake and clearly in shock, while you were left speechless. Although, with this explanation a lot of things began to make sense.

Sebek's first failed attempt

,,Human.”

Sebek’s oddly calm and not-so-loud voice startled you. You jumped slightly in surprise, raising one eyebrow questioningly. It wasn’t normal. Usually you would hear Sebek from a kilometer before noticing his presence.

,,Hmm, what it is?”

You asked, smiling in his direction. If you paid more attention, you would notice the way his cheeks slightly blushed and how he avoided direct eye contact, given his embarrassment. Unfortunately, you were blind and oblivious, especially when it came to this loud guy.

,, What do you think of Silver?”

Now, you were totally caught off guard.

It wasn’t your Sebek, Sebek that you knew.

You furrowed your eyebrows, squinting your eyes, eyeing him suspiciously. Yet, he refused to even look at you. He appeared a tad bit nervous, hesitant even to ask such question. Normally, Sebek was loud, honest and well, quite confident in whatever the hell he was screaming about.

,,He is a dear friend of mine”

You stated, not expecting another question that followed right behind. Sebek clenched his fists, taking a deep breath before he spoke once again.

,,Do you think Lilia-sama would give you his hand in marriage?”

Needless to say, you choked on your water.

Sebek's second failed attempt

,,Where are you dragging me now, huh?”

You asked softly. You were way too tired to be dealing with Sebek’s antics today. Yet, this knight was relentless and he wasn’t the type to give up easily.

,,Y-you will see, Human!”

If you were more observant, you would notice how his voice slightly trembled and how nervous he looked. Sebek felt as if he was about to combust from his conflicted emotions. The grip on your wrist felt firm, yet not painful. You could feel that his hand was slightly trembling.

If you paid more attention to Sebek's flushed cheeks, you would figure out that this man was nervous from the sheer proximity to you.

Yet, you were blind and oblivious human.

Sebek dragged you through almost entire Diasomnia dorm, firmly holding your wrist. You had to almost run to keep up with his pace. he was leading you through dark and unknown hallways, various stairs till you reached the highest tower in the dormitory.

You were, once again, confused.

,,Why are we here?”

You asked him, raising one of your eyebrows. You didn't expect to end up in such place. Sebek seemed even more nervous. Now, his face was red and a scowl appeared on his lips. He didn't dare to look into your eyes and he felt like his heart would explode in any second.

,,You ask too many questions, Human! Talk!”

Sebek exclaimed before he pushed you into the room. You abruptly turned on your heel after gaining some balance, yet he slammed the door right in front of your face.

You did not appreciate such treatment.

,,Sebek! You bloody idiot! Open the goddamn door, you…you clown!”

You screamed in frustration and surprise. Suddenly, you could feel your blood pressure rising abruptly. You pulled on the door handle violently, yet it didn't budge. So you opted on slamming your fists on the door, while cursing Sebek in your mind.

,,Not until you two talk out some things”

You heard his nervous voice, before you heard him leaving in hurry. Great, and now he was leaving you here for god-knows-how-long. You wanted to scream in frustration, as you hated closed spaces. Yet, his words make you wonder.

,,Two, what do you mean?”

,,Y/N, stop screaming, my head is killing me”

You jumped startled by the sleepy and tired voice sounding right behind you.

You simply couldn’t believe that Sebek locked you here with Silver.

Sebek's third failed attempt

Sebek couldn't take it anymore.

He wanted to scream in pure frustrated. Everything was perfect and carefully planned before hand. He made sure to fake Silver's handwriting when he wrote the invitation for the date. He prepared romantic dinner with candlelight, tricked you both to come there (without stating that it was a date).

Even the stars were aligned, yet you and Silver were so dumb and oblivious.

He was hiding in the bushes, observing the situation. Needless to say, Sebek was this close to loosing his composure, coming out and just yelling at you both. He was truly hopeless, beyond the repair.

You and Silver stood there awkwardly, confused.

Sebek could faintly hear you two discussing the situation, not even realising it was a date set-up.

Sebek was devastated. His conflicted feelings made themselves present once again. He clenched his fists, sighing heavily. He had hoped he would get over his complicated feelings towards you.

Yet, it was all pointless.

He was not only a clown, but also a simp. A simp for you.

And Sebek hated himself for catching romantic feelings for you, a mere human. He was delusional thinking they would go away the moment he hooked you up with Silver.

He was a clown.

His feelings only grew stronger.

Sebek shook his head, focusing once again on your figure. Everything will be alright, once they get together with Silver; he told himself. He would repeat that sentence as many times as needed to gaslight himself. A playful yet mischievous whisper behind him, slightly startled him.

,,My, my, you poor, pitiful knight~~ Mayhaps, I could suggest you something, hmm?"

[clueless-airhead]

a foreigner is a foreigner everywhere (variations on the theme of home)

[ Clementine von Radics, ‘Courtney Love Prays To Oregon’ // The backyard of my family home with my parents’ first dog, in Boda, Hungary, early 2000s // Fatimah Asghar, ‘How’d Your Parents Die Again?’ // Brandon Melendez, ‘How to Write Heisenberg’s Uncertainty Principle into a Promise to Return Home’ // My dad on the main street of the village I grew up in, 2005 // Melendez, ‘How to Write Heisenberg’s Uncertainty Principle into a Promise to Return Home’ // Keleti Railway Station in Budapest, 1900 // Melendez, ‘How to Write Heisenberg’s Uncertainty Principle into a Promise to Return Home’ // The hills of my childhood landscape, the Mecsek mountain range in South-West Hungary // Casey McQuiston, Red, White & Royal Blue // My childhood home in Hungary, 2004 // James Baldwin, Giovanni’s Room // My parents’ first house being built by friends and family members, around 1995 // @wvterways on tumblr // The iconic 25-story high-rise building of Pécs, my birthplace, 1985. The building became a ghost town in 2003 (incidentally, the year of my birth) and was then demolished in 2016 // @waitineedaname on tumblr // Uránváros, (a city district in Pécs, Hungary) in 1960, the neighbourhood of my grandparents’ apartment // @ohevoyev on tumblr // Danez Smith, ‘from “summer, somewhere”’ // Hungarian Parliament Building, 1896 // @electraheart2012 on tumblr // Analogue picture of Kőbánya-Alsó (Budapest X. District), the neighbourhood of our Budapest apartment // @cruellesummer on tumblr, lyrics from taylor swift’s my tears ricochet // Barbara Cassin, ‘Odysseus and the Day of Return’ in Nostalgia: When Are We Ever at Home? // Stage design of the 1975’s 2022 ‘At Their Very Best’ Tour // Bohemian Betyárs, Lebegő // The campsite of the summer camp I used to go to as a child, Óbánya, Hungary // Leigh Bardugo, Rule of Wolves // Cassin, ‘Odysseus and the Day of Return’ // Trinity College Dublin (my university), covered in snow, 1994 // Neil Gaiman, American Gods // Esterházy, Péter. ‘A mi a bánat’, Élet és Irodalom, 1996. 51–52.]

[clueless-airhead]

[clueless-airhead]

eleanor hsieh x love, death & robots

[clueless-airhead]

I can be your boyfriend. I can also be your girlfriend. The options are limitless. Except it has to be gay

[clueless-airhead]

Why Vil’s overblot matters and why the fandom was wrong

With chapter 5 coming to twst en, there will inevitably be people who completely misrepresent what the overblot is about (again) and people who will call Vil shallow and undeserving of compassion (again). So let me try and explain why Vil’s overblot matters so much more than a lot of the fandom gives it credit for, what makes it different from the other overblots thus far, and why the start of chapter 6 was such a massively harmful gut-punch.

Obviously, there will be Twisted Wonderland spoilers up ahead. Not only for chapters 5 and 6 but for overblots in general as well as the Halloween event. I won’t talk much about Idia’s overblot, or anything beyond the start of chapter 6 though since that chapter is very uncomfortable for me to talk about. If you want sources for any of what I’ll be saying here, feel free to send me an ask or a dm. I will not be linking them here because Tumblr hides posts with links from the search.

Keep reading

[clueless-airhead]

👑

[clueless-airhead]

Sparrow Ben spent his whole life trying to prove himself, trying to fit in, thinking that if he became No.1 he will finally have a place in the world; when one random day, seven idiots appear in the middle of his living room and are super happy to see him, without him doing anything else but just being alive.

[clueless-airhead]

Justin H. Min as Ben Hargreeves in The Umbrella Academy Season 3

[clueless-airhead]

you know this is how it always goes, every apocalypse has begun with the ‘wanting to be something bigger than ourselves’ story. what would you give up for the world to burn at your reckless fingertips? are any of these scraps worth salvaging in the name of revolution? they said we wouldn’t stay young forever, one day we would be doomed but aren’t those the same things, after all?

so listen to me carefully, calamity befell the day you realised god wasn’t going to save us, little did you know there was never a god to save us in the first place. and on the same night you stood before the flooding lake with a heart that was already sinking. those voices from a distant shore said you had to choose between survival and salvation. so i guess, the only question left to ask now is, “are you a martyr or are you just dead?”

// of impending doom and muddy shackles

[clueless-airhead]

#me grabbing the popcorn when there’s family drama 🍿

[clueless-airhead]

“And our Ben, my Ben was a total mess which made him incredibly easy to love” moodboard: