clutchthebottletighter-blog

[clutchthebottletighter-blog]

Shane rubbed his thumb back and forth across his lower lip. It was wet from the whiskey. He laughed and the sound was something dark and hollow. "Well man, she ain't much of a prize herself. No tits or anything. You're better off this way."

He was warm now from the liquor. Drunk enough that all this Lori talk was starting to give way to anger. Anger at her and himself and Rick. Here Shane was trying so hard for him, going out and renting a tux just for a stupid formal dance and Rick didn't care about any of it. Didn't even seem to notice that Shane was going out of his way to try and make sure Rick had a good time. He wasn't going to bother with it anymore, not when he wasn't being appreciated.

Stags -- Rick/Shane with clutchthebottletighter

  "Girls never know what they’re looking for," Shane said, stealing his flask back from Rick again. There was barely a swallow left at the bottom. He was glad he’d stored an extra Mason jar of the stuff underneath the front seat of Rick’s truck. He’d get a chance to get back and refill it later, when Rick was probably crying his eyes out over not even being dumped. "They change their minds every ten minutes."

Shane wanted to add that it wasn’t only girls. Rick was the same way. He had his heart set on a new pretty girl every few weeks. And he’d get his heart broken all over again. Then he’d come crawling back to Shane, dejected and miserable, waiting for Shane to pick him back up.

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"Like you'd even make it there," Shane snorted, slapping a strip of adhesive tape over Rick's cut. It was all they had right now. They'd run out of band aids and the good gauze a few weeks back. "You'd probably step on a nail and get tetanus."

Thing was, Shane wished Rick really would decide to go over there and stay. He needed some space--space where someone wasn't constantly trying to force him into their bad decisions. Where Rick hadn't been making their life choices from day one. Choices that got people killed and others murdered. Choices that ruined Shane's last chance of happiness. He thought of the pink blanket folded in the corner of his duffel and closed his eyes. "Your bag's no good," he said, jerking his head over at the wet mess he'd hung to dry in the corner. "Even if it weren't sopping wet there's probably glass in it. Take mine," he tossed Rick his sleeping bag. It hit him in the face. "I'm up now," he said, and it was a lie. He was tired. Bone tired. It was an exhaustion he'd felt for weeks now that was eating him whole, mixing with the anger and the frustration. Shane had felt on edge for two months straight. "I'll keep watch while you sleep."

Here Comes the Sun (Rick/Shane with clutchthebottletighter)

  "Yeah, thanks for the memo." Rick furrowed his eyebrows and tried to peel off the bloody sock from his foot.

He only half-heartedly tried to swipe Shane’s hand away. Truth was it hurt like a bitch, even though he’d never admit as much.

"Yeah well, sometimes I like to pretend like I’m still a person. Can’t ever seem to get a good night’s sleep with those heavy boots on." Rick hid a wince as Shane pressed along the cut with his fingers. "Besides, Lori always used to hate it when I wore socks to bed. I’m compromising."

[clutchthebottletighter-blog]

Rude I was out making some moves on a sweet little Korean girl who wants me to go with her to church so we can find nice catholic husbands

@clutchthebottletighter

Fucking reply to our RPs and answer my messages you fucking jerk I don’t care if you’re working or getting an education whatever~~~

[clutchthebottletighter-blog]

What can I say I’m a protegee

dibs bc you are my fav but not jealous bc there is no one else as awesome as me i will not be threatened~ i am the morning and the evening star

send me a ‘dibs’ if you are ridiculously attached to me as an rp partner and get jelly when someone who has the same muse as u rp/talk/breathes in the same room with me

Omg how humble of u Shane-mun~

[clutchthebottletighter-blog]

It was almost too much to process. Lori's death. A baby. Rick's baby. Because only Rick would be dumb enough to think there was any point in bringing a kid into that sort of world.

"Well," he said, swallowing until his voice was clear. He blinked and his eyes were watery and hot. "There's not much I coulda done about that. But, uh, congratulations. How old is she?"

  "We weren’t better off. Lori died," he said simply.

There, it was out. And Rick felt numb all over again. 

God damn Shane for coming back. Too little, too late.

[clutchthebottletighter-blog]

Shane didn't know how to respond to that. He knew what he wanted to say--to Rick and himself. This was all just proof that he'd been right all along, but he hadn't been man enough to do anything about it. He'd taken the easy way out.

"How?" He asked. The sound of his voice was thin and wet.

  The way things used to be. Like the way Shane had made them?

"You could’ve stuck around though, really." Rick squared his jaw and stared at the ground. Shane had been in the wrong, but somehow Rick still felt ashamed telling him everything that had happened. "We needed you. It was… a bad year for us."

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"I couldn't have," Shane said. He didn't know how to explain it further. Rick didn't understand. He couldn't. "Things woulda gotten bad, man. You were better off."

  "It was better than the alternative," Shane said, rubbing his hand over the back of his head. He’d never thought he and Rick would have this conversation. "I couldn’t just stick around. Not the way things were."

[clutchthebottletighter-blog]

"It was better than the alternative," Shane said, rubbing his hand over the back of his head. He'd never thought he and Rick would have this conversation. "I couldn't just stick around. Not the way things were."

"Long time no see, man."

[clutchthebottletighter-blog]

The hair on the back of Shane's neck bristled. Rick knew better than to bring up Lori. Shane dropped Rick's foot and let it hit the ground. He wiped some of Rick's blood off on his thigh.

"If you wanna die man, that's up to you," he said, tossing a wedge of gauze at Rick. He didn't feel in mood to play nursemaid anymore. He just wanted to go back to bed. Let Rick deal with the mess he'd set himself to making. Shane didn't know why he bothered to stick around for it anymore. Most of it him wished he'd left with Andrea when she'd offered all those years ago.

Here Comes the Sun (Rick/Shane with clutchthebottletighter)

  "World’s a mess," Shane snorted, digging through his bag for some of Rick’s clothes. He’d washed one of Rick’s t-shirts the other day. "S’about time you noticed." He found what he was looking for—a shirt and a pair of Rick’s jeans, rumpled up in the side end of his duffel. When he turned around, Rick was crouched down staring at his foot. "What, you step on the glass?" 

Shane dumped the clothes into Rick’s arms and pushed his hand away. Rick’s heel had been cut up pretty bad by a wedge of glass, enough that it was bleeding pretty freely. “This is why you wear shoes to bed, man, you never know what’s gonna happen.” It was easier to do that—to blame Rick—than it was to admit that he was worried for him. A cut like that meant Rick was going to be slower for a while. Even worse, it was the kind of cut that could get infected.

[clutchthebottletighter-blog]

Shane swallowed. "Yeah," he nodded. "That was kinda the plan."

"Long time no see, man."

[clutchthebottletighter-blog]

"Girls never know what they're looking for," Shane said, stealing his flask back from Rick again. There was barely a swallow left at the bottom. He was glad he'd stored an extra Mason jar of the stuff underneath the front seat of Rick's truck. He'd get a chance to get back and refill it later, when Rick was probably crying his eyes out over not even being dumped. "They change their minds every ten minutes."

Shane wanted to add that it wasn't only girls. Rick was the same way. He had his heart set on a new pretty girl every few weeks. And he'd get his heart broken all over again. Then he'd come crawling back to Shane, dejected and miserable, waiting for Shane to pick him back up.

Stags -- Rick/Shane with clutchthebottletighter

  Rick’s elbow pressed against Shane as he sat next to him on the bleachers, head buried in his hand.

"All I did was tell her what I heard about Jake… you know, the stuff you told me." Rick cast a sideways look at the flask before taking it with a sigh. Everything was all messed up anyway— he’d ruined things between him and Lori, she’d never look at him the same again— he figured it didn’t matter much if he drank underaged and on school grounds anymore.

"I just figured she should know is all. She’s better than him—" Rick swallowed past the burn in his throat, eyes starting to feel watery from either the alcohol or his emotions getting away from him, he didn’t want to admit which.

[clutchthebottletighter-blog]

"World's a mess," Shane snorted, digging through his bag for some of Rick's clothes. He'd washed one of Rick's t-shirts the other day. "S'about time you noticed." He found what he was looking for--a shirt and a pair of Rick's jeans, rumpled up in the side end of his duffel. When he turned around, Rick was crouched down staring at his foot. "What, you step on the glass?" 

Shane dumped the clothes into Rick's arms and pushed his hand away. Rick's heel had been cut up pretty bad by a wedge of glass, enough that it was bleeding pretty freely. "This is why you wear shoes to bed, man, you never know what's gonna happen." It was easier to do that--to blame Rick--than it was to admit that he was worried for him. A cut like that meant Rick was going to be slower for a while. Even worse, it was the kind of cut that could get infected.

Here Comes the Sun (Rick/Shane with clutchthebottletighter)

  Rick couldn’t sleep with the storm beating against the house outside, making the foundation bend and creak in the wind. 

So he laid awake in his sleeping bag, staring at the dent he’d put in the wall after Shane had stormed out of the kitchen. He hadn’t even kicked it that hard— at least he didn’t think he had. He had never been the type to punch and hit things out of anger before all of this. That was supposed to be something Shane did, but not him. 

He rolled over onto his back and pressed the palms of his hands against his eyes, trying to push away the dull sense of shame he felt thinking about what Lori might say if she saw him put his boot through a piece of drywall.

Shane was right, of course, everyone was gone. Everyone they knew before all this or had met along the way. It was just the two of them and whatever memories left in the old house they were staying the night in. Tomorrow they’d move on, find another house to hole up in. Maybe it really didn’t matter if it was Florida or here— it’d always be the same type of dragged-down feeling. 

He was up off the ground in a blink as the window shattered in the storm, spreading rain and glittering shards of glass across the linoleum as Rick struggled to clear their maps and supplies off the table before they got ruined.

"Shane!" Rick yelled into the darkness of the living room, hoping he was still there. "Christ, Shane— get something to put over the window!"

[clutchthebottletighter-blog]

"Yeah, 'cause you're the expert," Shane snorted, tightening his grip on the metal post. He followed Rick anyway, out of habit--some deep part of him comforted by slipping back into the old routine of following Rick's lead. The rest of him knew better. He might have trusted Rick with his life in the old world, but he didn't know if he could trust him with it here. So far it didn't seem like he had the stuff to make it. "Man what're we gonna do when it's 10? 20? What if we gotta fight our way through to Merle? You really wanna risk that for some piece of shit who's probably just gonna attack us?"

An Urban Atlanta Adventure

  Shane picked up a broken section of chain link fence. He wasn’t going to risk going after these things with a knife so soon. It said plenty about Rick’s lack of planning that he hadn’t thought to bring any of the bats or weapons from camp with them. Not that Shane would have wanted to, anyway. Leave the bulk of their weapons back with the majority of their group. They were leaving them defenseless enough, taking a good hunk of their manpower away.

"Ready as I’ll ever be," he mumbled, giving an experimental swing. The broken piece of pole moved heavy enough. It would have to do.

He didn’t wait for Rick to give the go ahead. He moved on his own, bringing the pole down hard right across the top of the walker’s head. There was a wet cracking sound as the bones of its skull caved through. Shane swung again, and this time the walker fell to its knees. He kept going at it, muscle memory keeping his arm going smoothly until the walker’s head was nothing more than bone fragments and brain goo.

Breathing hard, he looked over to see how Rick had done with his.

[clutchthebottletighter-blog]

Shane picked up a broken section of chain link fence. He wasn't going to risk going after these things with a knife so soon. It said plenty about Rick's lack of planning that he hadn't thought to bring any of the bats or weapons from camp with them. Not that Shane would have wanted to, anyway. Leave the bulk of their weapons back with the majority of their group. They were leaving them defenseless enough, taking a good hunk of their manpower away.

"Ready as I'll ever be," he mumbled, giving an experimental swing. The broken piece of pole moved heavy enough. It would have to do.

He didn't wait for Rick to give the go ahead. He moved on his own, bringing the pole down hard right across the top of the walker's head. There was a wet cracking sound as the bones of its skull caved through. Shane swung again, and this time the walker fell to its knees. He kept going at it, muscle memory keeping his arm going smoothly until the walker's head was nothing more than bone fragments and brain goo.

Breathing hard, he looked over to see how Rick had done with his.

An Urban Atlanta Adventure

  "I managed alright, didn’t I?" Rick barely managed to keep the defensiveness out of his voice. "Besides, I’ve got you watching my back now. Nothing’s going to happen."

It was the truth— there wasn’t anyone else he’d trust more than Shane to help him— but it was also carefully worded encouragement to get Shane on board with his plan. Shane was too stubborn to respond to much of anything else.

Rick gave an encouraging nod to Shane before turning back to the two walkers stumbling down the street.

"I’ll take the left, you take the one on the right?"

[clutchthebottletighter-blog]

4 u

[clutchthebottletighter-blog]

Shane didn't bother telling Rick that he'd done a piss poor job given the situation. There was no sense in fighting Rick about it anymore. Rick had already made up his mind. Nothing Shane said was going to change it.

"Sure man, whatever," he said, looking at the walker shambling forward. It limped on a broken leg bad enough Shane saw the jagged ends of bone. "Then what? We just gonna start shooting up the street when you're down to four bullets?"

An Urban Atlanta Adventure

clutchthebottletighter:

"Yeah," Shane snorted, knowing full well he’d have to deal with this all himself. "Cuz you handled it so well last time, man. Barely getting out of there by the skin of your teeth." He wasn’t sure what to do with himself anymore. He wasn’t used to a world where he had so little faith in Rick. Rick who had come back from the dead, beaten every obstacle—overcome the cold surety of death.

Shane dreams of it, sometimes, pressing his ear so fiercely against Rick’s chest. Those nights, he barely sleeps.

"I managed alright, didn’t I?" Rick barely managed to keep the defensiveness out of his voice. "Besides, I’ve got you watching my back now. Nothing’s going to happen."

It was the truth— there wasn’t anyone else he’d trust more than Shane to help him— but it was also carefully worded encouragement to get Shane on board with his plan. Shane was too stubborn to respond to much of anything else.

Rick gave an encouraging nod to Shane before turning back to the two walkers stumbling down the street.

"I’ll take the left, you take the one on the right?"

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"Yeah," Shane snorted, knowing full well he'd have to deal with this all himself. "Cuz you handled it so well last time, man. Barely getting out of there by the skin of your teeth." He wasn't sure what to do with himself anymore. He wasn't used to a world where he had so little faith in Rick. Rick who had come back from the dead, beaten every obstacle--overcome the cold surety of death.

Shane dreams of it, sometimes, pressing his ear so fiercely against Rick's chest. Those nights, he barely sleeps.

An Urban Atlanta Adventure

Rick flattened himself best he could against the alleyway wall, one palm stiff and sweaty around the handle of his Python while the other shot up to signal to Shane that the coast was clear around the corner he’d just checked.

If he didn’t think about it, the whole thing was almost like that time they’d played paintball as kids. Well, if Rick hadn’t been the first one to get shot and be out.

"The department store where we left Merle is a couple blocks up, what do you wanna do?" He asked, voice hush as Shane joined up with him.