codename-val

[codename-val]

apparently i’m writing (gasps... shocking, right?) after what seems to be months so, might be making it my little starter call for the time being to encourage myself to? 🥹🥹🥹

[codename-val]

she  wanted  to  run  away.  not  because  she  didn’t  like  him,  on  the  contrary.  she  liked  him  a  little  too  much  even.  damn,  sarah  loved  ollie.  it  was  something  that  scared  her,  and  now  she  had  finally  bursted  it  out  to  him.  then  again,  it  was  fair  he  should  know  it  ...  she  had  been  putting  up  with  too  much  guilt  for  letting  him  live  on  agony  not  knowing  why  she  left  him.  sarah  dropped  her  gaze,  she  refused  to  meet  his  eyes,  she  knew  she  would  cry  if  she  faced  him  right  now.  “you  don’t  know  what  you’re  saying,  ollie  ...  you  thought  my  life  was  perfect.  i’d  only  end  up  dragging  you  into  a  pathetic  bubblewrap,  but  in  a couple of  years?! 

you’d  think  you’d  be  happy  with  me,  when  in  reality  i’d  end  up  just like  my  stepmother,  and  your  main  hobby  would  be  golf.  you  thought  you  liked  me  but  you  didn’t,”  or  at  least  that  was  what  she  kept  saying  to  herself.  she  didn’t  want  to  break  her  heart  ...  so  her  only  choice  was  to  get  out  of  picture  first.  “you  mean  it?  all  broken  pieces?  you’d  deserve  a  good  life,  ollie,  and  a  kook  life  seems  like  a  dream  when  it’s  a  nightmare  ...  what  if  you  started  seeing  me  as  a  nightmare  too,  eventually?  i  love  you,  but  i’m  destined  to  live  a  pathetic  ass,  fake  life,  you  know?  you’d  be  tired  of  the  mess  i  am  in  no  time.”

@lcstinfantasy 𝒈𝒆𝒕𝒔 𝒂 𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒓𝒕𝒆𝒓 !

“jesus  ...  you  talk  to  me  as  if  i  had  commited  a  crime?  i’ve  not  done  anything  wrong,  okay?  i  simply  got  ...  scared,  that’s  all?”  she  busted  out,  then  bit  down  on  her  own  lip  at  the  strong  realization  of  her  words.  so  sarah  had  admitted  something  she  had  been  forever  afraid  to  admit  even  to  herself.  she  felt  scared.  her  brown  eyes  remained  wide  as  she  looked  at  them,  but  now  it  was  a  little  too  late  to  go  back.  “i  ...  i  mean,  we  were  so  serious  so  suddenly?  and  you  actually  liked  me.  how  long  until  i  disappointed  you?  until  you  found  the  kook  princess  cries  herself to  sleep or  ... has not even slept with anyone before ... or she isn’t  perfect at all?”

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“they  really  can  be  a  pain  in  anyone’s  ass  when  they  try  hard  enough,”  sarah  sighed  slightly,  she  hoped  her  discomfort  wasn’t  too  obviously  painted  on  her  face.  after  all,  being  alone  with  kiara  carrera  after  a  majority  of  conflicts  between  them  wasn’t  exactly  how  she  planned  on  spending  her  night.  she  sighed,  and  avoided  looking  into  her  eyes  as  she  watched  the  guys  disappearing  in  the  horizon.  “do  you  think  they  will  be  back  before  night  falls? i want outta here ... like, now.”

closed starter for SARAH from KIARA CARRERA @codename-val

"see... i want to be shocked that they took off without us, but at this point nothing they do surprises me anymore. fucking morons."

[codename-val]

@everyoneismytoy 𝒈𝒆𝒕𝒔 𝒂 𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒓𝒕𝒆𝒓 !

“so  you’re  friends  with  rafe?”  she  tilted  her  head,  glanced  at  the  tall  one  standing  before  her,  and  carelessly  shrugged  her  shoulders.  sarah  didn’t  even  want  to  attend  midsummers  in  first  place,  now  having  to  interact  with  her  brother’s  smug  rich  friends?  seemed  like  her  biggest  nightmare  on  earth.  she  looked  up  at  him,  and  raised  an  eyebrow  with  her  unfazed  brown  eyes.  “i’m  his  sister  ...  but  before  you  ask,  no,  you  can’t  get  me  a  drink.  i’m  here  with  my  boyfriend  anyway  ...  so yes, sherlock, don’t even try it.”

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@scftheartiisms 𝒈𝒆𝒕𝒔 𝒂 𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒓𝒕𝒆𝒓 !

“excuse me but just, well,  are  you  okay?! i  just  saw  you  here  so  i  thought  of  asking  ...  don’t  mind  me,”  she  wasn’t  the  biggest  fan  of  midsummers  party,  even  if  looks  told  everyone  otherwise.  every  year  it  got  dull,  and  this  time  it  was  no  different.  so  she  had  chosen  to  isolate  herself  slightly  from  others,  until  she  spotted  the  other  girl  crying.  it  caught  her  off  guard,  especially  when  every  time  she’d  seen  her,  she  looked  like  she  had  the  brightest  smile  on  her  face.  sarah  approached  her  slowly,  she  didn’t  want  to  seem  invasive.  “you  crying  ...  did  something  happen?  can  i  help  you  somehow?  i  think  i  have seen you around too.” 

[codename-val]

SARAH CAMERON OUTER BANKS | 3.07 “Happy Anniversary”

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@prosperae 𝒈𝒆𝒕𝒔 𝒂 𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒓𝒕𝒆𝒓 !

“i don’t know what rafe said to you ... but listen, you don’t have to feel intimidated by him, alright?” rarely were the times she brought a friend, an actual friend whom she was looking forward to spending her time with, home. sarah definitely didn’t want to throw it all away because her brother didn’t know how to behave like a normal person. she sighed, and ran a hand across her head slightly as if in shame. “but trust me ... he won’t do shit, okay? i will ask him to leave you alone.”

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@localsalt 𝒈𝒆𝒕𝒔 𝒂 𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒓𝒕𝒆𝒓 !

“i didn’t know you’d be down here, uh, should i come back at some other time?” after all it wasn’t every day she climbed down to her shipping deck only to see a guy she’d hardly spoken to before. it wasn’t like she didn’t know jj, sarah was pretty damn sure most people knew him after the little show he’d pulled with a little help of a gun in the last bonfire. but still, figure eight wasn’t exactly somewhere he attended ... not that he couldn’t, of course, but it was a shock nonetheless. blonde raised an eyebrow slightly, tilted her head so that she could study him better, before she finally dared to step closer with her unfazed inquisitive look. “but wait... jj, right? i don’t think i remember my dad mentioning he’d ask you, or anyone, to clean our ship ... be honest. what are you really doing here, maybank?”

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@lcstinfantasy 𝒈𝒆𝒕𝒔 𝒂 𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒓𝒕𝒆𝒓 !

“jesus  ...  you  talk  to  me  as  if  i  had  commited  a  crime?  i’ve  not  done  anything  wrong,  okay?  i  simply  got  ...  scared,  that’s  all?”  she  busted  out,  then  bit  down  on  her  own  lip  at  the  strong  realization  of  her  words.  so  sarah  had  admitted  something  she  had  been  forever  afraid  to  admit  even  to  herself.  she  felt  scared.  her  brown  eyes  remained  wide  as  she  looked  at  them,  but  now  it  was  a  little  too  late  to  go  back.  “i  ...  i  mean,  we  were  so  serious  so  suddenly?  and  you  actually  liked  me.  how  long  until  i  disappointed  you?  until  you  found  the  kook  princess  cries  herself to  sleep or  ... has not even slept with anyone before ... or she isn’t  perfect at all?”

[codename-val]

outer banks s01e04

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@qveens 𝒈𝒆𝒕𝒔 𝒂 𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒓𝒕𝒆𝒓 !

“i never once in my whole life said i didn’t like pogues ... on the contrary,” in fact, she sorta envied how close they were. something kooks hadn’t grown to be in a million years, for all sarah could see was her brother bragging to his friends about wealth, drugs, girls or whatever else ... her girl buddies laughing at nonsense, and the perspective of a shallow life ahead of her. the pogues seemed to live in an adventure movie from outside. sarah would be crazy not to envy that. but she sighed, stepped closer to daisy, she always thought she was sweet but then again, she wondered what kind of things she had heard about her. “i know you’re, like, friends with kiara — and i also know she doesn’t like me very much, so i don’t know what she told you, but i’m not an anti-pogue monster, alright? i’m not like rafe cameron, even if i unfortunately do share his last name.”

[codename-val]

@infernalrampage 𝒈𝒆𝒕𝒔 𝒂 𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒓𝒕𝒆𝒓 !

“it’s like no matter what i do ... no matter where i go, something pulls me back, you know?” sarah sighed before she leaned by the other girl’s side as both stood there in the balcony. god knows why she found it so easy to talk to her but she meant every word of it. perhaps it was because neither one wanted to be in that stupid party anyway, so they found comfort in each other’s company, right? either way, it was insane how she already liked bev. sarah tilted her head slightly, and looked at her as if to hear her answer. “do you also feel like you are perhaps just ... stuck at some fate you can’t escape from?”

[codename-val]

apparently i’m writing (gasps... shocking, right?) after what seems to be months so, might be making it my little starter call for the time being to encourage myself to? 🥹🥹🥹

[codename-val]

🐝  *  ―  𝑵𝑶𝑵-𝑽𝑬𝑹𝑩𝑨𝑳 𝑨𝑵𝑮𝑺𝑻 𝑷𝑹𝑶𝑴𝑷𝑻𝑺. (  some triggering content ahead. add " + " to reverse the action.  )

[ wipe ] sender wipes away receiver's tears [ hurt ] sender hurts receiver with words [ lonely ] sender finds receiver alone in a dark room [ wounded ] sender patches up receiver's wounds [ crying ] sender finds receiver crying [ help ] sender runs to receiver when they scream for help [ nightmare ] sender wakes receiver up from a nightmare [ dying breath ] sender talks to receiver before dying [ hold on ] sender pulls receiver into their arms [ anger ] sender takes their anger out on receiver [ argue ] sender gets into a heated argument with receiver [ scared ] sender scares receiver [ sick ] sender cares for receiver while they are sick [ palm ] sender places a hand on receiver to stop them from doing something [ fight ] sender gets into a physical fight with receiver [ comfort ] sender tries to comfort receiver [ blood ] sender notices that receiver is bleeding [ collapse ] sender collapses into receiver's arms [ pressure ] sender puts pressure on receiver's wound [ slap ] sender slaps receiver in the face [ panic ] sender helps receiver through a panic attack [ lie ] sender catches receiver in a lie [ sobs ] sender sobs uncontrollably while receiver holds them [ hiding ] sender finds out that receiver has hidden an injury from them [ death ] sender just died, receiver finds out [ chin up ] sender lifts receiver's chin to stop them from hiding their tears [ fears ] sender talks to receiver about their fears [ scream ] sender screams at receiver [ coping ] sender teaches receiver some coping mechanisms [ loss ] sender is there for receiver after they've lost someone important to them [ needs ] sender asks receiver what they need [ bullet ] sender takes a bullet for receiver [ bruises ] sender finds bruises of unknown origin on receiver [ rainfall ] sender finds receiver out alone in the rain [ hospital ] sender wakes up in a hospital bed and finds receiver sitting by their bedside [ intrude ] sender walks in on receiver treating their wounds [ calming ] sender tries to calm down receiver [ inspection ] sender holds receiver's face while inspecting an injury they got [ rescue ] sender carries receiver to safety [ clean ] sender cleans blood off of receiver's body

[codename-val]

What is it you really want?

Honestly, before I saw you tonight, coming out of the station, I didn’t know the answer to that question.  But now I do.

By the sea, the stars in the sky, John B.

[codename-val]

MADELYN CLINE as SARAH CAMERON for the OBX S4 Promotional

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just standing close to kiara carrera felt off. it was like standing in front of a ghost. one’s response should be fight or flight, and she would rather die than to admit that, deep down to her very core, she felt this secret urge to choose flight when it came to her. but she never would, of course; sarah cameron didn’t run away. besides, she hadn’t done anything majorly wrong, had she? it wasn’t a crime to move away from someone, whether reasoning was valid or not. at least, it was what she kept trying to tell herself to cope. it was easier to lie to herself than to admit it how one of her biggest regrets had been to leave kiara. she was her best, if not only, true friend and sarah was painfully aware she’d never met anyone like her again — the joy of finding one like her only happened once in a lifetime, she had been lucky yet majorly stupid to let it go.

but kiara was too much. after all, she had approached the kook princess, and sarah had been showing herself to be different increasingly more in their latest friendship days ... it would be only a matter of time until she would choose to drop off either way. she fitted in with the pogues. sarah cameron? she fitted in with topper. it was a rule, one on which sometimes she forced herself to remember not to get upset later. her fate was already written and dream of anything different was a luxury kook princesses couldn’t have. but now, there she was with the spectrum... or well, she wished it was one. that would be easier than facing kiara carrera in solid person right now. all of this was the absolute least thing she was in mood of handling.

“i’m talking about you, and you know it. i don't care for who is fawning over me. i’m quite sure your friends would be doing the same if they were here ... ” kiara acted so lonely, but she wasn’t. she had true friends. she didn’t need sarah. “now will you move aside? i want to get myself a plate for me to eat and you’re ... well, you’re on my way.” she could turn around, but screw it. kiara had started it after all.

@kierras 𝒈𝒆𝒕𝒔 𝒂 𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒓𝒕𝒆𝒓 !

if pressured into spitting out why she’d done what she did, sarah knew it would take her pretty much some time so she could have her answer figured out. fear, that was the single word her brain had come up with. kiara carrera had been her best friend, ever since day one she’d shared words with her. in the very beginning, kook princess had to begrudingly admit it was out of sorry ... she hated seeing her constantly on her own dragging herself across kook academy corners like a ghost. clearly, it was unfair someone like kie had little to no friends. plus, kooks had never been kind either. well, minus sarah, or at least she wanted to believe so. but she’d slowly but surely pulled her body out ... kie had approached the rich girl, not the vulnerable little doe such as she had been feeling around her lately. addiction, kie was a constant reminder her life was a cold icy block while other girl had courage of pursuing everything. it was a matter of time she’d leave for new raw adventures, sarah had just antecipated her process.

being loved ever so deeply hurt. being constant scared she wasn’t good enough out of kook crown hurt. but kiara didn’t know that. so, all she sees is a stuck up blonde as personification of vanity who had pushed her away, kie was obviously angry and she held no qualms at snapping at her to a very annoying point whenever both girls’ eyes met. it was midsummers, sarah had expected to see kiara considering her parents dragged her in every year with no exception. ward and rafe were outside, and sarah had just stepped inside to grab herself a drink. no one in the kitchen right now, no one except her and kiara. “wow ... guess i’m going to leave earlier this year,” she whispered, yet her hostile voice still very easily echoed against empty walls.