colbyjacksmack

[colbyjacksmack]

But you right

third nosy party here. Post the boy!

I really missed tumblr. Also, I’m confident this anon is Cece.

[colbyjacksmack]

How do you know when it’s meeeeeeee

third nosy party here. Post the boy!

I really missed tumblr. Also, I’m confident this anon is Cece.

[colbyjacksmack]

❤️

has there been any update on Colby's cancer? Did the surgery do its job or does he need a round of chemo?

he just did a little update on xplrclub. he has an oncology appointment soon, and that's when he'll know whether or not he'll have to go thru chemo.

he also said that his tumor blood markers are going down, so that's a good sign that he may not need chemo if it's low enough :)

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So happy to see Colby in such high spirits following all of the cancer stuff!

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Wattpad

Hey!

I added these stories back to Wattpad. Lets see if they get reported again. 

https://www.wattpad.com/story/337353077-colby-brock-imagines 

[colbyjacksmack]

Looking back at old shenanigans is killing me 🤣🤣

I want to say dirty things

[colbyjacksmack]

You forgot to mention that 90% of the time you don’t even realize people are hitting on you. I literally remember Z actively hitting on you and trying to like make plans for Saddle Ranch or to go to D’s and you were clueless. As someone who has been out with you dozens of times I have to say that it is usually skinny guys or gym bros that hit on you too. You just don’t know it.

Fun fact known to everyone that knows me or knows of me…I am not a small human. I’m 5’11” and curvy.

I am 33 years old and STILL do not know how to act/react when a thin or fit person hits on me. Anxiety brain goes “they can see me, right?” When people that are shorter than me hit on me, I kind of get it. The tig-o-bitties are closer to their eye line. I can see the appeal, lol.

And like, I get that everyone has their own preferences, as well as things that they don’t really care about either way. For instance, my first “we’re kind of dating” experience was with someone who was like 6’4” and could wear a small men’s shirt. I personally find all different types of bodies attractive…and I genuinely mean it. So I know that it’s possible for others to share my mindset.

BUT as a curvy woman, I always have this bizarre abundance of intrusive thoughts when thin or fit people act like they’re attracted to me. “I would literally crush you.” “Is this a fetish or are they genuine?” “Are they going to change their mind when I’m wearing less clothing?” “They are probably going to be embarrassed if anyone else finds out we’re together or have physically been together.” “Does this person hit on non conventionally attractive women because they think they’re easy?” “Are they going to try to convince me ‘you’re not fat, you’re beautiful’ like I can’t be both?” … And it keeps going…

I understand that a lot of this is just the fact that I grew up in the 90s and early 2000s and that diet culture and fat phobia were preached and readily accepted as the moral standard. I just wish I didn’t still think this way.

I am actually usually quite confident. Whether in a low cut dress or wearing my emo/androgynous get up, I’m usually very comfortable in my skin.

Anyone else have input? Thoughts? Do you relate? Am I crazy?

[colbyjacksmack]

Let’s see if the ticket fixes anything

Soooo Wattpad removed my whole Colby book even though Colby knows it exists and has no problem with it. Wtf.

[colbyjacksmack]

I really think someone told him about the imagine and he was trolling us 🤣

Hmmm. Sounds like a fanfiction that was written by @colbybrocksmolder! You called this. Haha.

[colbyjacksmack]

This never actually happened right? He was just trolling us?

Hmmm. Sounds like a fanfiction that was written by @colbybrocksmolder! You called this. Haha.

[colbyjacksmack]

Dead

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Cara you need to start finding crazy things for the boys to do in Tucson since that’s apparently where Colby’s parents are headed.

[colbyjacksmack]

Mount Rushmore

Vs

Mount Stank Face

[colbyjacksmack]

For me this boils down to trust.

I think that sometimes you find a soulmate friend that you COULD see yourself with but you aren’t necessarily “love at first sight” in love with. And I think when you find a person like that that also loves you and KNOWS you beyond how most people “know” you and doesn’t judge you or make you feel like you have to be someone else you feel safe with them. You trust them. They feel like home and comfort and love and like they’re just naturally a part of you.

There is something intoxicating about another human being that makes you feel safe. In your own skin...with your real thoughts...at your worst and your best.

there is something almost shocking in the human capacity for loneliness. i don’t think i exaggerate much when i say i have been lonely my whole life. this is not self-pity, but a simple statement of fact. i continually go through cycles where i think that if i could just be closer to that person i wouldn’t feel it anymore, but it is proving to be more accurate to say i am simply wired to be lonely.

physical loneliness is perhaps the most jarring right now: missing my friend so much there is physical pain in my chest. way past the point of being “cute”–it is selfish. you want that person right now and the fact that you can’t have them makes you angry. we are as emotionally close as ever, almost more so, and yet i find myself constantly longing to touch her. it didn’t use to be like that. i still don’t think i love her, but it is very confusing to know for sure when every part of me wants to curl into her and never let go. aggressively. she is my twin soul. i know i care about her more than friends do or should, but i don’t want to kiss her. so is that just me being overly affectionate? this battle of unknowing is the greatest loneliness of all, because after her there is no one else.

[colbyjacksmack]

This is worded perfectly

Who is Corey? Everyone talks about him like he’s in the fandom?

He’s friends specifically with K+J and Bobby and Andrea and Crawford but he’s friends in general with Vlog Squad people and Traphouse people and lots of other influencers.

He was the picked on friend and while he had a hilariously short temper, off camera he was literally the best friend to all of his friends. Oddly the dad and the advice giver and just so so kind.

https://youtu.be/QvuBkEQxUEE

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I’ve lived amongst the shitty attitudes of social media influencers for years and Corey was truly a breath of kind, accepting, loving, and encouraging “arms wide open” fresh fucking air.

I will miss you, buddy.

[colbyjacksmack]

Relateable