coldblanketsbcynot

[coldblanketsbcynot]

4/4/2020 2:10am

Hello world. 

I’m back ! It’s depressing that Ive gotten into such a low mood that I came back to my highschoolish tumblr page. Don’t get me wrong Im so happy now since my friends are here and I’m living in my own place and not the toxic household with robert but the nights are when it comes out. Who would of thought that I’d be doing this right now. In the middle of a pandemic I’m here writing on tumblr because I miss myles. I met this asshole  2 years ago now and its crazy to think that I’m here missing him when two years ago I was fake puking at the thought of him even thinking I’m cute. I’m doing my best tho to move on. I love being single tho. I love my freedom and the woman I’ve become on my own. I’m working my ass off too with classes coming up this summer so I can leave this place for warm sunny florida next year. I’m ready to start my life and finally move forward. What is meant to be will happen and I can only focus on my self (and Tato) 

[coldblanketsbcynot]

i swear i lose everyone

[coldblanketsbcynot]

2 sad 2 sleep

[coldblanketsbcynot]

probably will never find real love again ha

[coldblanketsbcynot]

the 35 min drive is worth it

[coldblanketsbcynot]

fuck everyone that’s giving you advice they’re so full of shit

[coldblanketsbcynot]

i can’t catch a break :,)

[coldblanketsbcynot]

i’ll do anything to not fucking feel anything

[coldblanketsbcynot]

i want to sleep and never wake up i hate being here

[coldblanketsbcynot]

first night sober 🤪

[coldblanketsbcynot]

we love being sad and shit

[coldblanketsbcynot]

[coldblanketsbcynot]

i’m high on my roof laying on blankets i’m high tho

[coldblanketsbcynot]

hello work d i’m drunkk and high

[coldblanketsbcynot]

finally done with school :,)

[coldblanketsbcynot]

it doesn’t even feel like 3 months has passed lol what the fuck

[coldblanketsbcynot]

i cried to my mom last night because highschool is almost over and i won’t have a real excuse to see you in the halls or anything and i’m sad and i’m scared and i told my mom that and just balled bc so many things are ending and i hate goodbyes and the thought of people i love going away and never seeing them again scares me i don’t wanna leave zach or my mom and im scared im going to be lonely all summer im pushing everyone away or overthinking myself out of every friendship i truly cannot be alone or i will go insane and jump off my roof idek who i am anymore i want to start a new life and become a new person