colinthepig

[colinthepig]

//sup?

i live.

maybe.

sorta.

//

[colinthepig]

what, is my true form not good enough for you?

Colin, Crane, Jersey Sorry not sorry

(* ಠ_ಠ)

fuck Jersey, marry a GLAMOURED Colin, and kill Crane. Always kill Crane.

[colinthepig]

don't judge me. 

[colinthepig]

http://judgetherest.tumblr.com/?og=1

I may, or may not, have done a thing.

[colinthepig]

headcanon

AU Headcanon:

Colin survived the revolution at the farm, and was one of the only inhabitants of the farm that spoke fondly of Bigby when Snow and the cubs stayed there. 

He would frequently try and help out with childcare, and eventually developed fond nicknames for all of the cubs. 

[colinthepig]

The night is dark and full of terr….

wait, no, wrong book.

Well, anyway, the night was fucking dark, and probably full of terrors somewhere, as far as the pig was concerned. But then again, few people bothered you if you were large, hairy and looked built like a brick shithouse, even if most of those bricks were made of fat. Delicious, sexy, amazing fat. 

Fuck you, random ready saying to yourself that fat isn’t sexy, Colin’s fat is sexy. You just don’t know how to appreciate the beautiful aesthetics of a pig’s body. 

Well, okay, he currently was glamoured, so I suppose pig body wasn’t the right word, but… oh fuck you for making me confused. 

The night was dark, as all nights are because then they wouldn’t be called nights. Well, unless you’re in the arctic circle where it might actually be light during the nighttime if it’s in the middle of summer. But only crazy people and Santa Claus lived there as far as Colin was concerned. So yeah, crazy people. 

The cigarette hung from his glamoured lips, his thick beard scrunched between his palm as he tugged on it, lost in raptured thought. Sure, he couldn’t afford a permanent glamour, so eventually he would have to ‘turn it off’ so to speak and go back to the farm until he was able to save up the money once more. But tonight was the first night of this glamour, and that meant a few more weeks of living in the city; a few more weeks of living where he belonged.

It was within this mindless maze of murmured thoughts that he accidentally bumped into a traveler moving in the opposite direction. 

"You know, 3 am is kind of an odd time for a stroll."

He was one to talk, but he only just got his glamour. A pig in the middle of new york was easy to spot in the middle of the afternoon. 

His thick, obvious Brooklyn accent was only more reason, as far as he was concerned, that his true home was the city, not the pretty little prison a few hours north, where his bed was the floor of his currish cousins’ house. 

Of course, he always forgot how menacing he was at night. He wasn’t exactly tall, but he was large, and a large, fat bearded man that stopped you in the middle of the night was kind of asking for mace in the eyes. 

Oh well. 

Open

[colinthepig]

+firstbornwinter

He sighed softly as the small body on top of his back woke him from his slumber. He didn't need to open his exhausted to know which one of the ruffians was currently treating him like one of those coin-operated cars you see in so many shopping malls. 

They each had their own ways of 'playing,' with him: Ambrose asked him to tell him about ancient human mythologies; Blossom tried to put him in some of the old dresses she had found that time in the Old Woman's shoe; Connor used his sleeping body as a battlefield for his toy soldiers; Darien tried to scare him by threatening to hunt him and eat him (yeah your dad already did that for real, kiddo, I'm not flinching at your scrawny ass); And Winter and Therese seemed to switch between using his fat-filled body as a pillow, demanding piggy-back rides (which they found endlessly amusing because he was an actual pig), and asking him to read to them from one of the many books he kept in his personal libraries, both digital and physical. 

The smallest and oldest (only by a few minutes, but still) of the cubs had apparently set her sights on deciding that Colin was either a motorbike or a Clydesdale. 

He grunted softly, adjusting his body to be more comfortable under the little girl's weight, while trying to make sure he didn't accidentally jostle her off. 

"I am not a horse."

[colinthepig]

+toyqueentherese

"eh? wha... "

*snnoooorrrrrreeeee*

"eh... bu... wha th... is that a dildo?"

"bu... i hate oatmeal."

*SNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOORE*

[colinthepig]

"What's eatin' you?"

"It's not almost six feet tall, hairy, and constantly smoking cheap cigarettes, is it?"

ϟ

Send me a ϟ

I will generate a number 1-35 to see what my muse will say to yours. Mix of angst, fluff, flirty, funny, etc.

"Are you alright?"

[colinthepig]

"So I've been told, but do me a favor and don't go down the road Bigby did and try to taste that theory?"

"I'd prefer to keep the majority of my sweet tastiness to myself. And a lovely little lady if I ever find one who's worthy of me and my gorgeousness."

"Don’t worry, Snow, you’re a good person. You can’t please everybody. You have everybody’s best interest at heart. Just keep doing what you can."

"I’ll keep loving you, toots."

[colinthepig]

Colin/Reynard

"…"

"You have issues."

[colinthepig]

if you can think of a ship, i will answer either of these sets of questions for them:

big spoon/little spoon:

favorite non-sexual activity:

who uses all the hot water:

most trivial thing they fight over:

who does most of the cleaning:

what has a season pass on their dvr/who controls the netflix queue:

who calls up the super/landlord when the heat’s not working:

who steals the blankets:

who leaves their stuff around:

who remembers to buy the milk:

who remembers anniversaries:

or

who cooks normally?:

how often do they fight?:

what do they do when they’re away from each other?:

nicknames for each other?:

who is more likely to pay for dinner?:

who steals the covers at night?:

what would they get each other for gifts?:

who kissed who first?:

who made the first move?:

who remembers things?:

who started the relationship?:

who cusses more?:

what would they do if the other one was hurt?:

Domesticity meme! Gimme a ship!

[colinthepig]

"Don't worry, Snow, you're a good person. You can't please everybody. You have everybody's best interest at heart. Just keep doing what you can."

"I'll keep loving you, toots."

"I don’t know what’s scarier—the amount of people that resent us, or the fact that it doesn’t bother me so much anymore."

[colinthepig]

Headcanon meme - send me a symbol and I'll describe my muse's...

❣ - hands

❤ - voice

۵ - feet

❦ - lips

ø - eyes

ღ - nose

♮ - body type

♫ - singing voice

✮ - sleeping habits

✉ - texting habits

✿ - laugh

✍ - writing style

⌨ - time-wasting habits

❅ - keeping warm/keeping cool techniques

✎ - taste in music/literature

☤ - self care/first aid habits

✪ - favourite food/eating habits

☁ - ideal holiday

✄ - nervous habits

☂ - sadness

❈ - ideal birthday

[colinthepig]

// a reminder that if you want it, you can find my personal blog here: the-glorious-dade //

[colinthepig]

i want your kiks and skypes. GIVE THEM TO MEEEEEEEE

or send me a message for mine. that works too. 

[colinthepig]

"If those condoms don't say, 'Property of Rose Red,' or 'This Way To The Red Mountain,' or something equally awesome, I'm going to be severely disappointed in you."