college-out-of-context

[college-out-of-context]

In Bio

KT: "I swear to god Kyle I'll steal your molars"

KC: "Just my molars?"

KT: "Well I don't know what the other teeth are called"

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Don't become a mashed potato!

Student

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Are you sure this class wasn't about making money and alcohol?

College Student

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Student 1: I'll sleep in your oven

Student 2: Why?

Student 1: Because it's toasty!

Student 2: The microwave would be faster.

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I need to recharge my water bottle.

College Student, the day before finals at 3AM

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Why is Connecticut such a bitch?

A College Student

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They were more successful, partly because they weren’t as murderous.

History Professor

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I just periodically watch videos of people making ice rinks.

College Student

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student 1: FUCK THE GHOSTS FUCK THE GHOSTS FUCK THE GHOSTS

student 2: don’t objectify the ghosts!

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I, as a wannabe sociolinguist...

our tenured sociolinguistics professor

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There are lots of bromances in the senate.

My US Politics professor

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There was a situation on campus. Don’t touch a bat, y’all.

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We're just appropriating college for fandom.

College Student

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Engineering school: so far

sending your professor a long-winded email about how they deliberately lied to the class for Effect and they email you “Shhh…” in reply

Crying in office hours and professor says “at least you don’t cry like Nancy Kerrigan”

me, is wearing all black. Russian professor passing by: “oh, are you wearing that for president’s day?”

a count of how many times the prof says “damnit” in one lecture (14)

someone screams in the dorm, you scream back, they mutter “nice”

the secretary secretly runs the whole department

“come to our club meeting, there will be free food”

free pie on pi day

an “engineering estimate: a wild guess” from the 1981 Handbook of Mines Slang

You find your prof’s facebook accidentally when he likes your comment on a post by “Mathematical Memes for Logarithmically Scaled Teens”

“SUSY is really in bed with everyone… I mean no slut shaming but.. she gets around” 

“kilometers per second myself”

finding a professor being cited in an academic journal you’re reading to cite for another class

“If Canvas crashes I’m just giving everyone an A”

How are the new buildings so badly designed, this is an ENGINEERING SCHOOL

instagrams dedicated to engineering faults of the new building

“you know I really love how broken the new building is, I feel like I’m growing with it”

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We're all suffering, but we think everyone else is perfect.

Social Computing Professor

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They're promiscuous. They'll pollinate anything.

Biology PhD Student

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They went around the world collecting bee semen.

Biology Professor