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siguro mahirap lang talaga patahimikin ang pusong nasanay sa kalungkutan; na sa bawat pagtawa ay parang hiram na oras kay Bathala, parang may katumbas na sakit sa bawat paghabol ng hininga sa dulo ng halakhak.

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"I'm scared of the person standing in front of me while I stare in the mirror"

—c.c.

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"The pain used to be tolerable."

—c.c.

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. . .

i keep thinking of wanting to run away. i want to get out of this place, but i have nowhere to go. i want to escape this life, but where will i send myself? i dont believe in heaven anymore, but i do believe in spirits. i want to be a spirit that roams around freely, to not be able to feel pain, to be quiet, to be peaceful without remorse. i want to escape this life so bad, i am thinking of dying. but i know i have yet to accomplish my goals, yet those goals arent enough for me to hold on to. i hate this shit.

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monster

i hear a million voices, but one stands out most. it's my own; yelling help, at the same time, a suicide note. —combustingcolours

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omg stop this cutie! omg omg omg my hearteu

gladly

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My lover called Anxiety

“anxiety loved to draw on me with black and purple ink, leave trails of her small claws on my body. and oh, i loved it when she did that to me.”

—combustingcolours

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Pagkahulog

Maraming nagsasabi, kapag malapit nang mamatay ang isang tao, na babalik sa iyong isipan ang mga magagandang alaala na hindi mo na puwedeng balikan.   Magbabalik ako sa nakaraan, kung saan ko unang nasilayan Ang busilak mong kagandaha’t kalooban Sa lugar na una kitang niligawan At unang sumibol ang mga biyaya ni Kabunian   Hihiga ako ngayon sa ere At iisipin ko ang iyong mukha, Iguguhit ko sa mga ulap ang matatamis mong mga ngiti Sa paborito kong mga labi   Yayakapin ko ang hangin Susubukang iwaksi ang mga alalaalang masakit nang isipin Pero naisip kong itatago pa rin Dahil ang masasakit na alaala’y alaala mo pa rin   Sa aking pagbagsak, Sakit man ang maramdaman Pagmamahal sana’y madatnan mo pa rin Kahit sa huling pagkakataon ng katulad kong alipin Sa iyong pag-ibig

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wilted lilies

i dreamt of a field of white lilies. they reminded me of escape— a paradise. slowly, i walked in the middle and laid down. my eyes closed as i feel the time pass by. i never wanted to leave, but the white lilies turned red. they stared at me with those devious smize and preying teeth. they devoured me like fresh meat in a carnivor's mouth. their munching teeth stopped after taking in my heart, and soon i found myself lying dead within wilted lilies and my pool of blood. —combustingcolours

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pluviophile

the rain will dance with me, and you'll remember me with every thunder and lightning. —combustingcolours

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Trap

I ran in place looking for my salvation demons got me shackled in oblivion "damage yourself" the voices, they spoke to me but it was a trap, and I fell instantly. —combustingcolours.

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Responsibility

You were everything. Loving you is now a pain. Now, I'll set you free.

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"just a little bit more of you"

I just want you, no one but you.

– Lukas W.

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"i want you"— just wrote this because it just came to my mind. nothing special.

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Nuisance

the only evidence that i am girl is the fact that i get the time of the month, and that i have long hair. both are a nuisance, might as well be a guy.

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Bittersweet

i’ve always had bittersweet feelings whenever i see somebody who used to row the same boat as i am, now happy while i’m still here, stuck in the same river, floating to what seems like forever.