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If this had been the cover, I wonder what kind of book people would have thought they were getting…

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Zelda walking. Need I say more?

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A footnote. About a shadow girl. 

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sometimes depression is so scary because you stop being able to achieve any sense of fulfilment. a huge part of being human is looking forward to things and having treats, goals, rewards, outcomes that you strive towards. if you don’t have those things it can be really, really hard to find any sense of purpose. having depression is asking yourself what do i want to eat, what do i want to watch, what do i want to play, what do i want to listen to, what do i want to do, what am i looking forward to, what’s driving me to keep going, and having the answer be a resounding ‘nothing’

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me at 1am without fail

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Idk if this is the place I need some venting and throw some stuff to the wind.

I have been working My ass off to Rent an apartment, to build a business and to be ok.

But I struggled with bills so in order to keep the business alive I had to leave the apartment and unfortunately I had to come back to my parents house for a while.

Nightmare. Living under a bridge doesn't sound so Bad now. My anxiety triggered. My depression triggered. Bad memories resurfaced. I have to mask My feelings 24/7 and I don't have the Upper hand since i'm broke and struggling to make ends meet. Im constantly looking for a job to at least have a second source of money but this city is so difficult and My energy is so drained.

I lost hope. I lost will.

If I survive this mode I'm never contacting these folks ever again. I'm only contacting my siblings.

They Even forced me to celebrate my birthday (literal You better SMILE or else) so relatives would think everything is ok. And I can't. I can't. I can't.

I can't.

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yall ever miss your own energy?? like damn wtf happened to me??

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miranda and michelle talking “madamspellman” during their instagram live 

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Doing replies and this is just your reminder that Lilith feels things intensely, and love is no exception to that rule. 

Romantic love, parental love, friend love….if you happen to be the rare person who she actively, genuinely loves (in any way), Lilith is all in. She is in the deep end of that pool before you can say ‘jump’. She is a passionate person, as in her feelings are always passionate (I mean, she came to hate Hawthorne and his advances so much she tied him up for hours, told him a terrifying and menacing tale, revealed a demonic face to him and then ate him alive) and that means when she loves someone, in any way, that passionate in-depthness is there. 

For example, she plans to run away to Tibet with Adam after a mere couple of weeks. She gives up her survivalist nature in order to die with her son in order to keep him safe from the Dark Lord. The fact she was able to do what she did to her son, recognising it to be a ‘lesser evil’, alone shows how extremely far she goes for love. 

It’s how she’s gone from utter devotion to the Dark Lord to ripping a blade into his back several times. Extreme love became extreme hate. 

I’m not saying it’s always healthy for her to jump in the deep end with those feelings so much, I’m just saying that’s the way she is. And it makes sense, considering she literally went ‘I’d rather die than submit to Adam’ in the Garden and told a God to fuck off. She’s always been intense. In the best way, haha. 

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this is a ‘Curve of Miranda Otto’s Back’ appreciation blog