consonant-counter

[consonant-counter]

B C D F G H J K L M N P R S T V W Y Z

19/21

Being the person that needs to nap after every big meal is so embarrassing. I apologize for being a 1 week old

[consonant-counter]

B C D F G H L N P R S T V W Y

15/21

we ran out of devotion that corrupts. would you guys be cool with devotion thats a little annoying to everyone

[consonant-counter]

C D F H L M N R S T V W Y

13/21

me when i accidentally leave out an m in unrestrained summer fun

[consonant-counter]

C D G H M N P R T V Y

12/21

we cant ha;ve anything anyrmeo due to the green ape hour

[consonant-counter]

B C D F G H K L M N P R S T V W X Y

18/21

I don’t like being referred to as a boy

[consonant-counter]

B C D F G H J K L M N P Q R S T V W X Y

20/21

coffee shop by my house hired a new barista who is extraordinarily hot and flirts with me incessantly but she also makes the worst - and i truly mean the worst - coffee i’ve ever paid for. atrociously bad. just another of god’s little jokes

[consonant-counter]

B C D G H L M N P R S T V W Y

15/21

“But what does protesting accomplish?” The same things that art, music, writing, conversation, community accomplish. Imagine a relationship where you never say “I am angry” because it “doesnt accomplish anything”.

[consonant-counter]

B C D F H M N R S T Y

11/21

me doctor says I has “iron da fish in sea” but I don’t remember ironin’ no fish

[consonant-counter]

C D F G H K L M N P R S T V W Y

16/21

CAVEMAN DOING STANDUP: two moons ago, me daughter ask for new furs. no want mammoth or giant sloth, no, now want cheetah fur. me so tired of "fast fashion."

OTHER CAVEMAN: [plays a rimshot on two coconuts and a scallop shell]

[consonant-counter]

B C D F G H K L M N P R S T V W Y

17/21

you ask tigger what his gender is and he's like "i'm a tigger" and you're like "ok but what are your pronouns" and he's like "t/i/double-guh/er"

[consonant-counter]

C D F G H K L M N P R S T V W Y

16/21

Sorry I Spent all mY spoons this week already and it's fucking Tuesday. We're heading to the knives

[consonant-counter]

B D F G H L M N P R S T V W Y

15/21

we should invent drone and ambient posting ill go first

[consonant-counter]

B C D F G H J K L M N P R S T V W X Y

19/21

My conduct this year landed me on Santa Claus's fabled and controversial "Kill-at-all-Costs" List. Turns out the reason the big man and his people don't exercise that option more often is that they really aren't good at following through on it. Well outside their core competency. He's delegated to the elves, and they've got this ingrained assembly-line mindset that doesn't translate at all to the adaptable and fluid mindset needed for siege breaking. They just haven't adjusted their playbook at all from when they're doing rote deliveries. Armed Elves have been rappelling down my chimney one at a time into the roaring fire I've kept going nonstop for the last week. They haven't even thought to try my front door yet. Whole house smells like peppermint, which it turns out is what burnt elf meat smells like. Thought I was being super clever putting cyanide-laced almond milk out with the cookies as a last line of defense, but none of them have made it even the scant few feet to the side table where that's sitting. At the rate things are going the real danger is that I'm gonna forget what I did with that and accidentally drink it myself while I'm watching the show

[consonant-counter]

B C D F G H K L N R S T V W Y

15/21

*LOUD SOUND OF A BIRD TRYING TO DRINK EGGNOG AND GETTING IT EVERYWHERE*

[consonant-counter]

B C D F G H J K L M N P R S T V W Y

18/21

found goat milk and wheat ale at the store. theres no way im NOT making a white gilgamesh tonite

[consonant-counter]

B C D F G H J K L M N P R S T V W Y Z

19/21

I swear to god one of these days were going to see a video of Amaury Guichon and he's going to be making some wings and they are going to look dope as hell, the detail of each feather will be breathtaking, he'll spray paint them to perfection, but as the video goes on, he's not building any sort of winged creature, just the wings. And then there's a human-sized harness (also made of chocolate, somehow, he can do it). And he's attaching the wings to the harness. And he's putting the harness on and he demonstrates how he can flap the wings. And then he'll be off. Out the window and up and up and up. And we'll be looking at the livestream (it's a livestream now) and we'll scream "No, Amaury, the sun! It's going to melt the wings!". But he knows this already. And he is free.

[consonant-counter]

B C D F G H J K L M N P R S T V W X Y

19/21

i hate viruses so fucking much. literally getting attacked by a fucking shape. a concept. consumes no energy. responds to no stimuli. its only existence is to fuck with you. like fuck offf