continuousreverie

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clawing my way out my old skin

shedding dead weight that kept her in

new phase, new age, love still the centre

I just remembered who I am

I am freedom remastered

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Pain or Harmony or Cycle

Breath of life enters my lungs

I'm pushed out, alive I have arrived

To the sound of my own voice, make sure I am me

Make sure I can connect all three

I grow up acting on instincts then asses the environment laid out to me

I grow up, and I am changed by the perspectives of those around me

I mature I make choices that have entered my core

I am me

This me

Stained, trying to regain the purity of when I was just three, my first being

Trying to find the light again, that first glance of heaven

That first feeling of waking up not knowing what we've been got

Unaware of the darkness we just left

Then suddenly

We’re taken out this lesson

From out the class they snacthed and grabbed, in the corner of my eye, do I see weapons?

They robbed us of our time so valuable here, but then we go onto the next, progression (?)

- continuousreverie, 2020

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Build something external, rooted in the spiritual, to help people’s internal, ease their mental. Provide solutions to societal problems, free us from the turmoil of this reality via the sounds of your chosen spirituality. Find your God, come back and free us, o chosen one, come back and teach us!

- Family Advice (a a y y o o, 2019)

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I am an earthly being moulded by fire, backed by the air, and grounded in the depths of abundant water

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gained a new ancestor yesterday, there’s some comfort in that, still, the bitterness of departures without the grace of being granted a farewell kiss, or hug, or call, makes the salt on my lips sting, reminding me of the sorrow that’ll stay with me till joy comes in the mourning

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unloved but not unliked

unwanted yet still seen

these bittersweet emotions, something I can’t accept

growth is a rose, while beauty has its thorns

and love is a choice, just like the inconsistency in your tone

to follow your ideal way or be sane?

confusion in the background as acceptance takes its place holding onto the reins

so agree to disagree is what we choose

I’ll take my leave

and with no looking back

the bond is deceased

- (her/his)tory

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Life without you felt so stress free. But now life without you is where I don't want to be

- (un)finished

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Walking into the future the past withers away

The pain of lost time cancelled by the hope for a new day

The joy of learning, learning new knowledge

The yearning for comfort replaced with peace, I now float in

Another decade passed, two gone so fast

Vast majority of souls that came and went

Offered experiences I've treasured ever since

Some returning again, a brief sabbatical from my usual routine of ignoring them

But for most, my line has been cut as their time is up, blocking access to me is the biggest flex that I’ve summoned up

Yet as you can see, it’s still not all clear, the future is still a bit blurry, leaving me questions like did I cut some people off too early?

Will I get lost, go back to my comfort zone, get too relaxed? Or will I grow, be able to handle what comes my way instead of running to what I know and continuing my usual play...

I don’t know and I never will. Answers never come that easy when there are lessons to be learned in this journey to find the highest frequency. So as I self-reflect and watch myself grow, I hope I’m able to pour out what I learn so others will know

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They say an eye for an eye but I and I say love others like they’re I

- The Ras of a Tafari (continuousreverie, 2019)

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Mischief in her eyes, such a playful spirit. She's a sight to be seen, yet isn't. Words in her head never come out right yet rhymes on paper, always look like a delight. She's rhythmic, floetry, say yes and maybe I'll undress and you'll finally see, as I express my wounds and deepest scars, that are layered in my being, showing the true she. But you're too far from me. So as I catch my reflection and decide to loop it for retention, I process that our relation has been ended by the presentation of your true colours and apparently, my lack of appreciation. Yet we move, as we all do trying to find “l-o-v-e”. Which is laughable because really, in this economy? Bye bye “love”, keep the fake version of thee far away from me. You see the mischief in my eyes? That's because I'm headed for the skies and only I know the true prize. Me

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Press play and wait... allow my words to paint a picture in your mind... while this picture plays with words in mine...

A summer hue in conjunction with golden hour. Our skins are slathered in moisture; we’re honey glazed, pure shea butter, coconut smelling, sweet-tasting, loud ‘fro wearing black and silver. No gold because that’s already within her. A precious jewel, body brown, her hands grazing through your notorious crown. King and Queen. Omega and Alpha. We’ve come together so no man can put us-under. Red under-tones, above is his melanated skin, such beauty within, sunkissed through the wind. Brown, Nubian, and Haitan, capital letters because we’re all one nation. Red energy within, above her yellow-toned skin, mixed together intentionally for juxtaposition mentally, as we live life jejely while Rema sings Dumebi Dumebi…

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“You are Predictable

Yet uncontrollable

Confusing

Yet very amusing

You are hurting

Still I am learning”

- Perspective (continuousreverie, 2019)

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“Pain is the same as feeling insane with no cause to complain because it’s all in the brain. Mind made. Psychological mystery. In fact, probably a test to see how much we can handle really by the one who we deem superior to we”

- Mystery (continuousreverie, 2012)

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Eastside story

She says, “I’m trying to find clarity over intimacy. Our lack of clarity keeps leading me to insanity.” He doesn’t understand, his insecurities rushing through his mind – “I mean we’ve been intimate before, we’ve made love, why all of a sudden, is she changing it up” His thoughts racing from, ‘she loves me though’ to ‘damn, she’s leaving bro.’ She sees his inner struggle so proceeds to free him from himself and explains, “Being overshadowed by my emotions, this darkness, isn’t something I like to boast in; it’s not stable. Drowning in my emotions as the tide comes and goes, formed only in situations like my mood, period, food… I need conviction, something from within, to let me know that what we’ve got is truly a win.”

He hears all she says but refuses to give in. He’s fighting internal demons, telling him, “she’s giving up on you and just like everything else in your life, you’ve messed this up because you can’t even learn to sacrifice” He’s battling his heart with his mind, body verses soul, societal logic verses spiritual knowledge and growth.

She can’t help him because it’s all internal and when striving to be his catalyst she gets burnt being the pacifist. Now left with the deepest of scars that bandages could never heal - the most painful of memoirs.

Yet, she stays, he tries, both bumping heads at times. Love so thick, a connection so strong, but both on different levels, if they cant flow how she can go on. Hopeful is he, pessimistic is she, see how the tables have turned, and oh how funny is maturity.

Now, the past she despises but just the pain not the rare prizes from the lessons learnt. He’s mesmerised in the beauty of before but all she sees is the ugly truth that came when discovering the mirage of it all. But a flicker of hope comes from time to time within her, nostalgic pictures, music, scenery, smells; she longs to be one again. Realistic? She doesn’t know when. Still searching for the conviction that she prayed, wished and hoped for. Fear of making the wrong decision, yet this love that no one understands, this love that penetrated her core…

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Why I Love The Moon

Late night convos are the best We talk about the future, and whatever may come next We question the possible We believe the impossible And then we talk about our doubts, worries, regrets, And then discuss the wonders of sex.

We get too deep at times but that’s okay because we’re not lying No, we’re actually telling the truth We’ve got nothing to lose. You see, Everything is exposed in the night. Yeah everything is exposed when there is no light We feel comfort in the darkness with the ones we trust Who keep us up to discuss about what truly is “us” Who am I? Why am I here?

Philosophical questions you hear in late night convos which then disappear Because the sun comes up Bringing us reality Which strips away the utopia of late night convos and gives us practicality, normality Of our humanity The cycle we repeat to keep our sanity But we all look forward to when the moon is on its quest To take over the skies so we can have our rest As late night convos are the best Because we’re free from the brutality of the abundant west

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unspoken realisation

Intellectual conversations I have with myself

I need friends who can open up the deepest corners of my mind and help me explore my true essence

Being

Alone

To zone...

Leaving unwanted thoughts to linger and roam

 I need to expand

I need to breathe

So toxic is my comfort zone and familiarity

Living healthy is asking inquisitively

Filling and filling and filling my mind with knowledge and wisdom as thoughts of repression dig their way out to the surface

Revealing that everything’s worthless

Human race but where are we running to?

Human being, only a vessel, a tool, carrying my infinite creature through this journey called life

 I die I live

I die I see

I die I’m awoken

I die I’m chosen...

My heart is opening my mind is closing

 Feel the energy do not think logically

Listen to the vibrations do not heed the poetry

The flow of my mouth can trap you in

Close your eyes and see from within

Perceptions rule the nations

Don’t be fooled by ideology or be brainwashed by society

Environmental factors do not determine the outcomes

You are not ruled by your situations

Everything comes and goes

People, emotions, money, thoughts, commotion

Yet our souls and our hearts are still

What is the soul? Mind, emotion, will

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poker face (under the surface)

Lost in my thoughts and in my ways

Angry but sane

Worried but I look like plain Jane

Because it’s all under the surface

And it's not going to rise till it’s worth it

What if it never is?

Shall I be stuck like this for years?

What’s the end goal supposed to be?

A vision?

A dream?

Well to me it’s all just a mystery that my eyes can’t see

That my spirit can’t feel

Being lost in this world with no will to fulfil

With no purpose or calling that I hear when I’m ghosting

While I’m lost in my thoughts

Getting high off of worry and anger if I conform to the nature of power and get trapped in a 9-5 feeling like I’m sentenced for life

Is that life?

Or a perception of it?

Is that a worthless excuse to others who were as lost in their youth and chose the natural thing to do?

To become robots to society and give up their hopes and what they aspired to be just to give into worldly desires

You see

I can’t become a clone

I’m not prone to becoming a drone

I’ll survive off my own living thanks but only when that dead-end route recalculates the journey back

So

Till then

Let me just vent till I figure out how I’m going to make it out this road I'm on called a mental drought