coral-island-player

[coral-island-player]

hey. Hey you

yeah you

you’re gay

[coral-island-player]

of all the CI characters who could be vegan i do find it baffling that Kenny is the main (only?) one. vegetarian i'd buy WAY more, or 'vegan but doesn't actually despise ethical, organic local animal produce as a gift' (neutral gifts rather than hated, maybe?)

this guy and his family run the ranch. he spends so much of his time with these LIVESTOCK/(i always fuckin forget the word for farm birds) animals. why the hell did they even bring cattle and chickens and sheep and ducks to the island if not to gently, responsibly, lovingly care for the animals and in turn reap certain by-products from these efforts? collecting freshly laid eggs fromthe hutch when your flock moves outside for the day isn't hurting the chicken. 1 man sitting beside his cow to milk her while he, idk, sings to her or whatever is not cruelly industrial animal exploitation on the same level as large dairies. idt it's applicable to his gifting preferences but most sheep breeds NEED to be shorn to remain clean and healthy over time, and if ur doing it right it's... i mean probs not their fave experience in life but ur "cutting the hair" not skinning the animal. these bee hives are producing a massive excess of edible honey. my guy, you love nature, you work with animals, you know all these things, you presumably know the importance of getting all ur necessary vitamins, minerals and other nutrients, and that the human body has evolved to absorb some of these from animal-sourced products........... why the hELL.

is it religious? is it a health thing? is it less moralistic/ethics-based and he just....doesn't LIKE the taste or the way those foods make him feel and the idea of receiving them, by extension, is also upsetting, rather than being "cruel" to animals and critical along that vein?

i simply don't understand. the dots are on the same page, sure, but trying to connect them rn doesn't actually create a clear picture for me

[coral-island-player]

Adeline from Fields of Mistria is a very well socially adjusted autistic woman. She finds beauty in systems and order, and she's very fortunate her hyper fixation happens to be her job.

And if you're dating her, her idea of flirting is to just directly tell you what she likes about you or what she wants.

[coral-island-player]

I think the priestess should turn into a dragon at some point. To balance out the lack of dragon partners available.

[coral-island-player]

Wait ok it seems like you're thinking about this a lot so who are all of your fields of mistria rival ships then???

haha thank you for asking you are correct i think about it SO much. this is a really long post so read more below:

a big part of all that thinking is i've been having a lot of trouble with them because I don't think theyre super clearly defined by the game (which is cool and good that they have a wider variety of complex relationships!). i think there are characters who are all like.. most obviously duos or kind of paralleling eachother, but i don't consider those The Ships/Pairs necessarily. (think that one fanart of them all paired up dancing and its like color coordinated)

Off the top of my head, these would be my rival "ships"-

My "Real" Ships..

Valen/Juniper (obviously i don't even need to explain this. these two require no other thought they're just like practically-almost canon.)

Eiland/Caldarus (well. yes. history nerd meet living history dragon)

Reina/Balor (new ship but i think there's something poetic about Balor after staying at her family inn and spending all this time casually together. i want the slowburn. it's very hallmark movie and ALSO both of them love honey apple curry. idk it just clicked for me recently. i think they'd have a lot to learn from eachother and could both travel the world and return to their home in mistria. i have a vision.)

March/Ryis (semi neutral about this but also they're ALWAYS hanging out together so MAYBE... im still searching for an "angle" into this other than i think it would be cute if they're both like quietly pining. its about yearning.)

HOWEVER this leaves me with-

Celine/???, Adeline/???, Hayden/??? which is difficult bc I don't see too much romantic chemistry between these three.... I COULD pair them off with other Non-romanceable characters, but I don't feel super strongly about them yet..

Some alternates I feel less strongly about but could see working would beeeeee-

Ryis/Celine -- (growing the mystery plant/growing the tree feel like parallels... somehow... city boy, country girl etc. i kinda wanna send them on a magical adventure for some reason.)

Reina/Celine -- (gal pals! you KNOW their parents have talked about the possibility…. but also for that same reason i'm a little averse to it tbh i'm not big into childhood friends -> lovers personallyyyy)

Ryis/Adeline -- (tbh this is a little ? but i think Adeline, long term, would appreciate a partner who lets her do her work, but would still be supportive and helpful, and be responsible enough that she CAN relax; they do a lot of public works projects together so I could imagine a lot of mutual respect & admiration & trust... It'd be cute for Adeline to bring him to like diplomat assignments in the city. they're both ordering $8 iced vanilla oat milk lattes from darcy's brick and mortar shop)

March/Reina -- (Quite literally no real reason other than i see them hanging out sometimes. i think this falls under the grumpy/bubbly archetypes but again like, i need more than that to really root for it.)

Balor/March -- (um borderline crackship i think they'd piss eachother off lol. i think they hooked up once and never talked about it again kind of vibes. red/blue coded)

Balor/Adeline -- (pink/blue, mayor/"soundrel", lawful/chaotic)

Hayden/Merri -- (I know I theorized about Olric before but I think Hayden makes similar comments about Merri & helps her set up her stall and I think they could be cute!)

Hayden/Landen -- (I know Landen isn't a romance candidate but the old man yaoi is calling me... & they have overlapping liked gifts like golden materials idkkkkkk i literally just had this thought so i'll keep an eye out for more evidence)

I know he's not in game yet so #spoilers but Stillwell/Celine -- (for the obvious dark mysterious/bright sunshiney dynamic. I think also it would bring out Celine's more esoteric plant interest haha)

ALSO not in the game yet so we don't know what she'll be like but miss mysterious mines bachelorette i think.. i want to pair with Adeline. but we'll see...

Adjacently related i do ship Terithia/Elsie but also I think all the old people in this town have History

[coral-island-player]

toxic yuri between henrietta & the other farmer's hen she lost her 1st place small animal contest streak to

[coral-island-player]

ROLE MODEL

─ they look up to you.

⠀⠀⠀⠀˖ ⭒ gender neutral, platonic, i just love these kids, this was meant to be a drabble but oh well, includes an in game dialogue with celine

everyone in town could see how much the kids looked up to you. you showed them your sword when they asked, even if they’d already seen it several times by now; you recalled your many adventures in the mines, telling them how you fought off bats, and lava cats (and they believed every word even if most of the adults thought you were making it up), you told them about whirlpools that sucked you in to another part of the mines, and the deep ravines you had to jump over. they held onto your word with eyes sparkling and grins wide.

and you encouraged everything they did, referring to maple as the queen she aspired to be, and listened to luc as he ranted about every new bug you brought him, and of course, promising dell when she was old enough, you’d teach her how to wield a sword. (she told you she was old enough now, but you’d rather not risk angering nora by teaching her daughter how to handle a very sharp, and dangerous weapon. ─ so you compromised, she can hold your sword, but she can’t use it or have one of her own yet, and she was happy with it for now.)

the kids absolutely adored you, and you adored them all the same. their imaginations and wonder were a breath of fresh air to someone whose job often meant putting yourself in sketchy situations. their innocence to the world was something you wanted to protect, and so you’d happily indulge them anytime they approached you with questions or followed you around as you completed your errands.

as you exit your farm and cross the bridge over the river, you catch celine leaving her cottage as well. you smile and speed up your steps to meet her, calling out a greeting, “mornin’, celine!”

the girl turns to you and smiles, “hi, [name]!”

you both fall into step as you approach the stairs, breaking into conversation, talking about your morning and your plans for the day.

“you know [name],” she says, and you tilt your head with a hum, “the kids really look up to you! I overheard them debating whether to make you an honorary member of the dragonguard.” ─ she turns to you with a pout as the both of you stop in front of the general store, ─ “dell’s never asked me to join.”

you blink at the girl, and celine smiles at you, “don’t worry, i won’t hold it against you,” she pauses, giggling, “well, maybe a little.”

you chuckle, resting a hand on the sword on your hip comfortably as you lean your weight on your left foot, “well if i do make it in, maybe i can convince them into letting you join as well.”

that gains another giggle from celine, before she turns and waves, “i better get to work, see you later [name].”

“see ya’, celine.” you return her wave, backing away to change your course, intending on heading straight to the mines as you planned for the day.

but you're interrupted when you hear your name being called by a very familiar voice; “hey, [name]!” ─ you pause, glancing over your shoulder and smiling when the three you and celine were just speaking about approached you, smiles on their faces, and giddiness in their movements.

“heya, dragonguard,” you greet, turning to completely face them when they stop in front of you, dell standing at the front as usual, hands on her hips and a toothy smile directed at you.

“are you going to the mines today?” the blonde asks.

“sure am.”

there’s an excited brightness in their eyes when you nod, and your smile only grows at the sight. ─ you’re not blind to their admiration for you; after all, you were an adventurer, and to the kids who thought of going on adventures on their own one day, you were like an idol in their eyes. and the rest of the people of mistria had no intention of letting you miss it either, when they’d often bring up the kids starstruck looks when you explained the adventures you had before coming to mistria.

“can we come?” dell asks, and the other two nod enthusiastically at her question.

you chuckle as lean down to their height, “i’m sorry guys, but i’m going down to the very deep levels today, it’s dangerous and you guys aren’t equipped for that.”

dell frowns, looking more disappointed than luc or maple at your explanation; “but we can handle it!” she argues, and you sigh.

“well, i don’t know, dell,” luc cuts in, “we don’t even have our own swords, remember?”

the girl pauses, pouting when maple adds her agreement.

you smile softly, standing back to your feet and resting your hands on your hips, “tell you guys what, why don’t i bring something back for you, yeah?” ─ that seems to get their attention, and they look up at you.

you grin, glancing at maple, “there’s some really nice crystals down there, i can bring some back and i’m sure march and i can work together to make you a tiara, maple.”

maple gasps, “really?’

“only the best for a queen,” you wink, and she giggles, clapping her hands and hopping in place at the thought.

you then look at luc, “there’s some new bugs down there i know you’d love to see up close, i’ll bring some back and tell you all about what i observed of ‘em, okay?”

luc grins, giddy and excited, “okay!”

you then finally turn you attention to dell, who's still pouting just a bit. you smile, resting a hand on her head and lightly ruffling her hair, “i find a lot of old swords down there, if i find one, i’ll bring it back and we can talk to your mom about letting you keep it. and if she says no, i’ll keep it at my house so you can come over whenever to see it, alright?”

that seems to cheer her up ─ “make sure you bring back a really cool one!”

you laugh, “you got it boss.”

you send the kids off with a final promise to keep your word, and then you’re off to the mines, sword at your hip and pickaxe strapped to your back, making a mental note to yourself to cook nora’s favorite, just in case.

[coral-island-player]

THIS. Sure, I think we could get more renown for completing them, but most of these town upgrades are worth it

I've seen a sentiment cropping up here and there in the Fields of Mistria fandom that Adeline is some kind of jerk because she assigns difficult quests with lots of grinding resources for not enough reward. Honestly these just amount to petty fandom wank in the grand scheme, but years of obsession with this genre of game (well before Stardew Valley, thank you so very much) mean that my hyperfixation is chewing on this shit like a dog with a bone. So I'm gonna be pretty bitchy in tone about the particular post that set me off, but it's not personal. I've seen the same complaint a few times, and I'm just frustrated by it because....well, it's dumb. The grind is part of these games.

Anyway farm game fandom wank below.

…you mean the main questline?

The main questline connected to the main quest giver, daughter of a baron & baroness, Lady Adeline, who sent out to an adventurer’s guild for a helping hand reconstructing the town after an earthquake when the capitol couldn’t send aid?? The job which the player character shows up to do in exchange for a whole farm to call their own? That questline?

Wanting to tweak the balance of Tesserae/renown given as a reward for the quests I can understand, but like. Huh???

“you get nothing special for them..except for a part of the town that is newly available but only has a use once or twice.”

Like did you read that back or??

Quests you get from Adeline:

Repair the Bridge. 60 wood, 60 stone. Unlocks the Saturday Market. You get this on Spring 3, Year 1. Pretty standard, you're probably gonna get those resources by clearing up your messy new farm in any case.

Restocking Mistria's Food Reserves. You get this after repairing the bridge. Ship 10 crops. Pretty standard for a farming game. The reward is a cute cutscene. And the money you got from selling the crops.

The Mill Restoration Project. This is where shit ramps up, and where I get nit picky about the nit pickers. This quest comes in 3 days after the previous one. If you played your cards right, as most new players will, you can get this quest by Spring 8 (turnips take 4 days to grow, so with 10 planted you can sell all of them by Spring 5, get this quest 3 days later. I've added a day for buffer because I forget whether the new game allows you to do anything on Spring 1 or not.) I usually bumble a bit and still get the shipping done by Spring 15 and the windmill built before the season is out. This quest unlocks milling. You can make cheese, butter, animal feeds, paper, grass starters, and so on. The windmill takes 150wood, 200 stone, 2 copper ingots, and 1,000t. Yes, that feels like a lot, but by this time you probably have the mines open and it's not insurmountable. Here's why I'm nit picky: In Harvest Moon: Grand Bazaar, there are THREE windmills located in different parts of the map. They do a lot more than the one in Fields of Mistria, but that's because Fields of Mistria puts those functions into other mechanics (crafting, cooking, blacksmithing). The reason I've pointed out how quickly you can get this quest in FoM is: the earliest windmill unlock is Spring 23. The next one is Summer 17, then Fall 20. They cost you no resources, but you have to wait on the NPCs to get around to it. In the meantime, you have no way to process your junk. Even once they unlock, you have to run around the whole map to insert ingredients and then you have to remember to run around the map AGAIN to retrieve the products. Processing time depends on in-game wind conditions (and blowing on the DS microphone lol). If you can't tell, I hated these fuckin things. This is just one example of how a similar thing works differently in a similar game, but my point is this: The grind is part of these games. Also, those functions FoM replaces with other mechanics? Those unlock pretty much right away. You get access to Ryis' crafting table right off the bat, you can use the inn's kitchen or March's forge from the jump, etc.

Beautification Project. No resource required, just a cutscene that unlocks The Summit. Cute.

Repair the General Store. Our first actually daunting one! 500 stone, 300 wood, 5 copper ingot, 3,000t. Looks scary but if you've got your tools upgraded even once, you can churn out these resources within a few in-game weeks, even if you're going at a leisurely pace. Which you should. This is a cozy game where you're supposed to explore, relax, and enjoy--you can even set the duration of a day to longer/longest if you want to get more mine per mining day! That sped things up for me. The reward for this one is a Bag Upgrade and a LOT of new crops. I cannot stress enough the importance of a BAG UPGRADE. I think Stardew spoiled people with this, because the upgrades are available (though expensive as shit) from the start. (The crotchety grandpa in my heart still remembers how many Harvest Moon games simply said "lol fuck you, have fun with those limited slots!")

Repair the Beach Bridge. Technically from Terithia but necessary to unlock the next: this takes 50 fiber, 300 wood, 150 stone, 1,000t. By the time I got this quest, I just had these in my inventory already. It unlocks a whole new area on the beach, with a stamina fountain and forage spots and a cool fishing zone, like--I love this one.

Restocking Mistria's Food Reserves 2. 12 egg, 12 cheese. Again, I already had this stuff. I can't keep up with selling off all my damn eggs and milk. Lmao. Cute cow and chicken cosmetics. I would agree this one feels cheap, but like. It was a dozen eggs, dude.

Upgrade Hayden's Barn. Another heavy hitter! 400 wood, 500 stone, 8 iron ingot, 4,000t. I did actually have to grind some wood and stone for this! I still got it done before Fall Year 1! You get ducks, horses, rabbits, and sheep! Again, "you get nothing special for them..except for a part of the town that is newly available but only has a use once or twice." ????????? HORSES? DUCKS? RABBITS? SHEEP? Horses become VERY RELEVANT, by the way, because doing this quest ALSO unlocks Hayden's own quest: Find the Weathervane, which is how you get MISTMARE. You know how you have to build your horse a stable in Stardew? And then you have to keep track of the damn thing? Yeah, I never used the horse. Because it was a pain in the ass. In FoM, grinding out that wood, stone, and iron also gained me the Essence required to unlock a MAGIC HORSE THAT I CAN KEYBIND TO INSTANTLY APPEAR UNDERNEATH MY LIL GUY ANYTIME I WANT. And I can breed pretty horses to make my Mistmare look like the pretty horses! For the low low cost of a week of mine-diving and tree-chopping while I run around town giving gifts to everybody! I reiterate: grinding is a part of these games.

Upgrade the Inn. This is the first one I can kind of understand being disappointing. 500 stone, 10 silver ingots, 25 glass, 600 wood, 10 peat, and 6,000t and you get...a nice cutscene and more items for purchase from the inn. If you like the inn furniture this can be a thriller, but I don't really care for it. The cutscene was adorable though, and ALSO the free daily soup in the inn's cauldron now restores TWICE as much stamina as it did before. The grind for this was a little tiring, but honestly? Not bad. By this point you've got your ax upgraded enough that the wood is not too daunting an ask, and also you can buy some of these resources from the carpenter's shop. That was an option this whole time, iirc. Wood and stone? Yeah! If you'd rather spend all your time fishing or farming or whatever, you can do that! Earn money, spend it on the stones, and move on! (I never remember to do this. I also just enjoy mining and tree chopping and foraging and gifting. Because the grind is part of the game.)

Stone Refinery. A real bitch, but a useful bitch! This one came out as an EA update, so I had already amassed a hoard of materials, but even if you hadn't (which...the game is still in EA, you probably did) 200 wood, 400 stone, 20 sap, and 5,000t is....not that bad. It really isn't. By now you've probably gotten skill perks that give you more wood per tree and more stone per node, not to mention upgrading to a silver (or even gold) ax/pickax, so...yeah. I can mine dive for one day and come out with 100+ stone, for perspective. Not bad in exchange for unlocking high-level crafting materials and recipes and new resources that A. eat up all that extra Essence you earned mine-diving and B. Enable automation on your farm. But sure, it's just a location that "only has a use once or twice."

Upgrade the Saturday Market.

Yeah, I'll give you this one. This one sucks. Hated this one. 20 crystal, 8 gold ingots, 100 hardwood, 20 obsidian, 50 refined stone, and you get...Wheedle and Taliferro. You unlock a slimeball with some overpriced buff potions and big chests, and you unlock a bitchy chef with some quests for you. Yeah, you also get access to the bathhouse date this way, and yeah, you get cool kitchen decor for the cooking challenges, but...come on.

12. Upgrade the Carpenter's Shop. 30 crystal, 100 glass, 30 obsidian, 100 refined stone. This is a lot. Yes. It's a fuckload of a lot. It also unlocks greenhouses. This is some shit you don't get in SDV til you've done everything everywhere, man. You get greenhouses! You can get MULTIPLE OF THEM! And place them WHEREVER YOU WANT! Idk man, I think that's kinda worth it?

Now, the one complaint I do understand and totally relate to is that each of these quests only gives you 20 renown. That's not a lot. You get that amount for bringing Luc a cool bug he asked for, for fuck's sake. I agree. That's kinda anticlimactic for just how much WORK you're putting in. It feels shitty to FINALLY fill up that request box and give the town a significant upgrade (which is, I remind you, literally what your character was paid in farmstead to DO) and see your renown meter go up by....a blip. That stinks.

But that's something we can probably ask the devs to rebalance? Because again, this game is still in early access. I think that's pretty much understandable to ask.

Calling Adeline a bitch about it though....is that really necessary?

Also I'm not even gonna touch calling her a bitch for a paperwork heart event. She's very passionate about her job. Workaholic, and just as autistic as her brother, lol. Paperwork makes her happy. She's a freak like that. We need freaks like that in the world. I love her.

Somebody else replied to this post saying OP probably wants to play a dating sim instead of a farming sim and I can't agree more. I've been playing farming sims for so long--do you remember when you had ONE storage chest to work with?? ONE? In a FIXED LOCATION? HM: Tale of Two Towns almost killed me, dude, that shit was crazy. The grind is part of it. These games, these main quests, are not MEANT to be speedrun. They are MEANT to be difficult, they are MEANT to take time. If you feel rushed by them, then I'm sorry, that's not necessarily the game.

Fields of Mistria is still early access. Some things definitely need some balance tweaking. If that's your feedback, SAY THAT. And say it (POLITELY) to the devs. But why are you clogging up my girl Adeline's tag with this? As if it's her fault?

[coral-island-player]

Crying Ryis wants to call his sisters and ask if Luc can stay with them when he goes to college someday because he knows Luc is so smart

[coral-island-player]

March is really starting to grow on me. And this is really becoming a problem, since I am a certified March hater.

[coral-island-player]

also i need to see more people screaming about junipers 8 heart event thats fucking mandatory you have to see it you have to i cant fuckin believe it

[coral-island-player]

I kid you not this is canon-

I also plan to just create flori's story in a fanfic form just because i am actually creating my own original comic. I don't know if i have the balls to do so-

PS. I realized there is Reina in the background i can't imagine how she would react

[coral-island-player]

i don't know if the devs intended to write eiland as autistic or not but every other line of dialogue from him or others About him is just pointing to a big blinking sign that says AUTISTIC that i would just be amazed if it wasn't intentional at all

[coral-island-player]

fucking mosquitoes 😭 I respect your place in the ecosystem but do you have to be such a bitch about it

[coral-island-player]

This small amount of people in the steam comments for the fields of mistria update are like,

"no new mine levels?"

"So still no olric ?"

Did you even look at all the shit they added ???

Christ

[coral-island-player]

okay i was not expecting so many people to agree with this post lol. this might sound silly, but i wanna write a little followup because the third update just happened and i've had Mistria on the brain

so, i really really really hope it's obvious that i do not have a problem with March being a bit of a jerk. that's great actually! having a couple of characters who are kind of assholes just gives the game some flavor- that's exactly what we get from March and Juniper, flavor

the problem i have is when that characterization... takes away from the characterization of other characters, if that makes sense? one example i gave was that Adeline smoothing over March's attitude kind of makes her seem like a weaker character- since she's kind of in charge of the town, it felt weird to me that she wouldn't even try to be even a tiny bit firm with him. like, it's undercutting her whole "thing," right?

i also thought that Juniper getting mad at him trying to be chummy with her or Hayden getting mad at him talking bad about Henrietta would be strong moments of characterization... but like i said, they just kind of him let him do his thing

and in general when literally every character just kind of acquiesces to March, it either makes all the other characters seem weirdly toothless or... it kind of makes March seem like a Mary Sue lol. i know that's kind of a dirty word in some circles, but hear me out: let's go back to Juniper

Juniper is also a character who's a jerk, but that's balanced out by her often having her own braggadocio blow up in her face or by Valen providing some (gentle) pushback. THIS IS NOT THE SAME AS SAYING I WANT JUNIPER TO BE PUNISHED. please do not put in the newspaper that this has anything to do with fictional characters being "punished" for having flaws! Juniper's attitude having consequences isn't good writing because we need to see characters recieve justice for being naughty, it's because it shows she's a character existing in the world and her actions affect the world around her. that makes her feel like a much stronger character! (it's also often very funny)

so when almost every character's reaction to March is "oh March" it has the opposite effect- it makes them seem like weaker characters, and if anything it makes him seem like a weaker character. this would always be a bad thing but it's especially so for the character who's by far the most popular love interest in the game lol. if anything, considering the gamedevs definitely know this (remember how the first month stats had a section that was just "Gifts Given To March?") and were probably anticipating how popular he'd be, i really hope they weren't trying to make him seem "softer" to be more appealing...

there's actually a strong possible narrative thread somewhere in here i've been wonderin about- if everyone knows that March and Olric had to deal with losing their parents, it would actually make a ton of sense if they tried to be nicer to March because it made him harden up a lot... and considering March is such a prideful person, that would sting him a lot. and then the Farmer comes, the only person in town who doesn't know about his tragic past... maybe he would actually appreciate the fact that the Farmer sometimes pushes back and provides a rivalry of sorts to him... the only person who doesn't treat him like something fragile... see THAT would be interesting, but that's just me theorycrafting lol

anyways, i'm only speaking as a person who has only seen an incomplete game so far, so for all i know all this stuff will be addressed in later updates. either way i love the game as is, and am curious to see where it goes, especially with today's update!

and just to end the post on a postive note: one bit of March characterization i really like is how close he is with Ryis. Ryis, the newest person to come to Mistria besides the Farmer. it's such a great bit of hypocrisy- a hypocrisy that makes March a much stronger character

[coral-island-player]

some fields of mistria players are pissing me off.

stop asking to date olric.

for the love of god there are 11 (not counting the one secret one we dont know yet) amazing dateable characters but yall just cant shut the hell up about olric. yeah we get it hes cute and a himbo,

stop pressuring the devs into trying to make him romanceable when this clearly wasn't a plan (otherwise he would be, wouldn't he?)

I don't just mean making tumblr posts abt it I mean directly commenting on update posts on steam or whatever like 'when are yall gonna let us date olric'

stop. make peace with the fact that hes not dateable. thats just how it is. there are SO MANY loveable folks you can date, oh my god.

you people don't realize how obnoxious you are, sorry not sorry