corbswrites-sometimes

[corbswrites-sometimes]

you know what i love? established apocalypse aesthetics

leaves and flowers and trees growing out of abandoned houses and cars, smashing glass windows, invading and reclaiming the spaces humanity took from them

warning scrawled hastily on the sides of buildings in spraypaint or in blood; don’t come here, it’s not safe. turn away, go back. we died here. you will too.

notes and messages scattered across the world, addressed to people who never saw them or never lived to reply to them. rachel, we’re alive. david, don’t look for us. amy, dad got bit, please come home, we need you. kim, i love you. 

people broken into tiny groups. society shattered. they are past the anger, past denial, past trying to fix any of it. now there is only begrudging acceptance, and the knowledge that nothing is ever going to get better. the only thing they can do is survive.

a skeleton lying at the foot of a tree, flowers blooming in its ribcage. a bloodstained note in its front pocket. ‘sorry, mom’. travelers see it and barely spare a thought; such things are commonplace.

roaming packs of dogs and cats still wearing their collars, centuries of domestication breaking down under the need to live and to keep living

families born of blood and sacrifice. trading stories over campfires about who they used to be, who they might have been, what they could have become if none of this ever happened. looks of understanding when someone loses a sister, a brother, a father. it happened to me, too.

abandoned bedrooms combed over for supplies, but the faded posters still hanging on the walls and the useless knickknacks on the shelves tell the stories of the people who lived there years ago

moss covering television sets, water lapping up into backyards, tree limbs shooting up through collapsed roofs, evidence of humanity being eroded one day at a time

[corbswrites-sometimes]

there’s a difference between the ‘enemies-to-lovers’ trope and shipping someone with their abuser

[corbswrites-sometimes]

AU PROMPTS (based on my summer)

“I thought you said you were gonna self-isolate this summer?” “Nah, that ended. I’m craving affection now.” “Oh, um, is that why you called me?” “Yep.” AU

Person A and Person B are at a mixer and they’re the only people either finds interesting AU

A is famous and B is a fan they meet while on vacation AU

“Ever summer I’ve ever had has been boring. I’m tired of it. Wanna help me make this the best summer ever?” “Why did that sound like the start of a coming of age film?” AU

B gets a sun tan and A tries not to freak out AU 

(alternatively B gets a sun burn and A tries not to freak out)

A wears a bathing suit and B realizes it’s the first time they’re seeing A’s legs 

B thinks they’ve made the worst s’more in the universe but A tastes it and says it’s the greatest thing they’ve ever tasted AU

“You don’t know how to swim? Don’t worry I’ll teach you!” AU

(bonus if B has to get saved by A)

A has seen B everyday in the same place and eventually they start talking AU

A and B are vacationing where it’s cold and neither have ever seen snow before AU

(alternatively A and B are vacationing where it’s warm and neither have ever seen the ocean before)

[corbswrites-sometimes]

Burnt Out

yo so I wrote a short story in ten minutes and I kind of liked it so,,, 

It had been a rough day. Actually, “day” wasn’t the right word. “Week,” “month,” “year,” maybe.  It didn’t matter, any way you looked at it, it ended with me sitting in the mud and dirt of a bleak alley, surrounded by the smell of other people’s alcohol and urine, and maybe a bit of my own. I felt the rain beating down on my head and sighed as I pulled my face farther between my own legs. I heard a voice, but they probably wouldn’t have been talking to me.

               “Excuse me,” A little bit louder. I looked up to see a middle-aged woman with graying black hair tied in a messy bun with a small, one-person umbrella. I didn’t say anything.

               “Are you okay?” She asked. I looked back towards the dirty ground. I remained silent.

               “Would you like a job? I‘m hiring.” I looked back up at her without even thinking about it. She must be out of her mind, offering someone she found on the street a job, I thought. Nonetheless, I couldn’t help but to nod eagerly.

               Her face lit up. “Perfect! I’ll show you the location. Here.” She gave me her umbrella, which I took begrudgingly, and took her other hand as she led me out of the alley, all while she got peppered with the rain droplets.

               We walked through the streets, receiving obscene looks, until we came upon a small, cozy looking shop. She stepped through the door but I hesitated. She gave me an even bigger smile and waved me all the way in. I slowly crossed the boundary of the shop, and a medley of wonderful smells greeted my nose. “This is my candle shop! I actually make quite a bit of money off of them, more than you would think. I live and run the shop alone, so it’s too much for me. I give most of it to charity. Anyways, enough of my rambling, what’s your full name?” I gave her a blank stare.

               “For the job contract.” She finished.

               “Melody Clemms.” I finally answered, my voice barely a murmur.

               “How pretty! You can stay here tonight. There’s a back room with a bed. I don’t stay here, and normally I would be working for a bit longer, but I have an errand I have to run, so you’ll be all alone until tomorrow morning, and then you can start then. Sound good?” She asked, smiling again.

               I was too tired to find anything odd with any of that. I simply nodded and made my way to the back room.

The next morning, I woke up to a banging at the shop’s front door. It was the police. The candlemaker was dead– a suicide, and in her will, she had left everything she owned to her only employee, Melody Clemms.

[corbswrites-sometimes]

Caffeinated Excuses

s/o to that one time @spacezeros told me there wasn’t a heartstopper fic on ao3 yet so i fucking came out of fic retirement back to Hell to write one i don’t? love it? but it’s alright. p short tho--2,468 words.

i even made an ao3 and sat on a waiting list for a week

wow heres that link in case the ‘keep reading’ doesn’t work for you mobile readers http://archiveofourown.org/works/11731188

who even am I 

The first time Charlie had met Nick, it was oddly surreal, or, it was for Charlie at least. It was late August, and Charlie had picked up a part time job while he stayed in school to get his masters degree. When Nick walked up, almost immediately, Charlie couldn’t help but find him more attractive than he’d like to admit. He was about the same height as he was, but he looked a bit more built than Charlie was.

“Hello? Are you okay?” Charlie was suddenly snapped out of his thoughts as he saw the man on the other side of the counter looking at him, confused and a little bit concerned. Oh no. Had the man said something that he had missed?

“Yeah, I was just-erm- I just spaced out a bit.” Charlie forced out a small chuckle as he silently scolded himself for giving this stranger the most awkward first impression possible.

The man smiled back. “No, no, it’s alright, I get it,” he paused for a second as he made seemingly unbreakable eye contact with Charlie. Or at least, that’s what Charlie thought until the man broke away to look down at his shoes and continue, “Just a large iced caramel vanilla breve, please.”

“Coming right up! Can I get a name on that?”

“Nick.”

After that day, Nick showed up every morning monday through friday, always with a cheery ‘hi’ or ‘hello’ for Charlie. Charlie had grown used to seeing Nick show up in the mornings, at about 7:45, order his drink between friendly small talk with Charlie, give Charlie a too-generous tip, and be on his way. About two months into this routine, he had just finished bringing Nick’s drink to the pick-up counter, where he was patiently waiting, when he heard his coworker from behind him.

“Charlie, boss wants this new recruit to shadow me for a bit, go ahead and take a quick break,”  he nodded, going to turn his head back to the counter.

He was surprised to see that Nick hadn’t left yet, and he was still standing on the other side of the counter.

“Looks like I made it here at the right time!” Nick said, a huge smile plastered to his face. Charlie could feel his stare linger at that smile for a bit too long. That being said, he didn’t understand what Nick’s comment was referencing. Had it been directed at someone else?

Nick seemed to spot his confusion and continued, “I wouldn’t have wanted to miss out on my favorite barista.”

Almost immediately Charlie could feel a smile form on his face that probably mimicked Nick’s. Feeling an unusual spike of bravery from himself, Charlie found himself asking a question he had been curious about for a while.

“So, Nick, where do you work?” Charlie began taking off his apron as he walked around the counter for his break, “Sorry, that is--if you don’t mind me asking, sorry--”

Nick waved his hand in dismissal as he began to lead Charlie away from the counter, “No, no, it’s fine, I’m actually a primary school teacher.”

Charlie’s face lit up. “Really? Well that would explain why you would need so much coffee.” Nick broke into a deep laugh that Charlie couldn’t help but join in on.

“Precisely. They’re not always little monsters, though. Then again, I just really like kids, so maybe I’m a bit biased.” he gave a soft smile that Charlie once again couldn’t help but to stare at for just a little too long. “Care to take a seat?” Nick quickly managed to get out, motioning at the booth they were now standing at.

Charlie eagerly nodded as they sat, and Nick decided it was his turn for a question. “Are you in school?” Again, Charlie found himself only able to nod. “What for?”

“I’m actually getting my masters in Classical Civilizations!”

“Oh, that’s like Greek and Roman civilizations, right? That’s actually what we’re going over with my class right now.”

“Really? That’s awesome. I just, I think it’s so cool. The way they valued the arts and learning and how much discovery was during that time period. And then the way they perfected their architecture in such a clean cut way, and--ugh, I’m sorry, I’m totally rambling,” Bringing his focus back to Nick, he was surprised to see him simply watching him, with the same soft smile that he had on earlier.

“No, don’t worry about it. I don’t mind it at all.”     

After that day, Charlie had found himself unable to get Nick off of his mind. Every time he closed his eyes, he saw those big brown eyes and a cheeky smile that could light up a room. Soon, he had even started making Nick’s drink before he walked in, timing it perfectly so that it had just barely finished when he entered through the door. Charlie couldn’t believe his own schoolboy-esque crush on a man that he barely even knew. He was probably straight, anyways. Nonetheless, the crush continued.

Once, in late November, the first snowstorm of the year hit. It started about half an hour after Charlie had gotten to work from out of nowhere, and Charlie immediately groaned in regret of not dressing warmer.

The topic came up again as Charlie brought Nick his drink. “Awfully cold today! Did’ya remember a coat?” Nick asked cheerfully, gesturing vaguely to Charlie’s tee-shirt.

He shook his head, “I got here at six, the storm hadn’t shown any sign of existing yet.” Nick let in a loud, clearly overdramatic gasp that made Charlie’s lips curl up into a smile.

“What time do you leave work?”

“Well, it’s Tuesday, which means that I have a class I have to leave to walk to at 8:30.” Nick gasped a little too loud again, but this time Charlie could tell he wasn’t being purposefully dramatic.

“You have to walk? No. Absolutely not. I refuse to let my favorite barista catch a cold.” Before he had even finished talking, Nick had set down his breve and began pulling his jumper off over his head, offering it to Charlie.

“Take it,” Charlie hesitated. “Please.” With that and one of his smiles that made Charlie melt, he reached out and took the jumper.

“Thanks, but--but what about you?”

“All I have to do is jump in and out of a cab. I’ll be fine, I swear.”

That next day, Charlie had tried to return the jumper back to Nick, but Nick refused, telling him profusely to keep it. Eventually Charlie complied, and even though he feigned upset, he had put the jumper back on the second Nick had left, taking a second to bury his face in the fabric.

One day, as Charlie brought Nick his drink, his nickname made another recurrence. “And a tip for my favorite barista.”

“Y’know, now that I think about it, aren’t I really your only barista?” Charlie replied playfully, taking the money that Nick had held out.

“Actually, I’ll have you know that I’ve probably had every barista here that works on saturdays or sundays.”

Charlie could help but feel a twinge at his heart, as stupid as it was, he kind of hoped that he was Nick’s only barista. “I thought you only got coffee for work. Why stop in on the weekend?”

Nick’s smiled faded a bit, and he diverted his eyes to his feet, and Charlie suddenly got scared that he had said something wrong. Nick opened his mouth to speak, but closed it quickly again. Charlie felt himself wince. Oh no. He had definitely messed up. Before he got his chance to begin apologizing profusely for whatever he had said, Nick finally spoke up.

“You don’t work on saturdays or sundays, right?” Charlie slowly nodded, confused of where this was going. “That took me a couple months to figure out. Over those weeks I came at a bunch of different times to try and find your shift. “ Charlie felt a blush overtake his entire face as Nick finished talking.Once Nick had regained his soft smile, he slowly looked back up to Charlie, who saw that Nick’s face was just as blushed as his own. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Charlie.”  

On valentine’s day, Charlie was relieved to have the perfect excuse. “So how’s your valentine’s day Nick? Do you have someone special?” He asked, all too casual, as he handed Nick his drink.

“Nah, my last date was with a man who never called me back, and even that was quite awhile ago.” Oh. Oh. Charlie did his best not to get too excited. “How about you, Charlie?”

“Nope, it’s been awhile for me too. I actually don’t think I’ve ever had a boyfriend for more than a few months.” Nick smiled a smile that Charlie believed was telling, but even if it wasn’t, he smiled right along with him.

“Hello! I’ll have my usual, please.” The voice echoed through Charlie’s mind one day as he questioned who it could have belonged to. He really hoped it wasn’t some customer that he had forgotten about, his mind just simply wasn’t in the right place today. The only ‘usual’ he knew about was Nick-- oh. He looked up to see the bright smile staring at him.

“Oh, oh no, I’m-- I’m sorry I guess I just didn’t realize what time it was and it’s not ready yet today, I’m really sorry Nick, it will be just a second.”

Before Charlie could turn to get to work, he felt a hand grab his wrist lightly, surprising him so much he almost flinched.

“Hey. Don’t worry about it. Are you--are you okay? You look tired?” Charlie quickly took his hand that wasn’t in Nick’s and brought it up to his face.

“Oh, yeah, sorry, my mind’s just having a rough day. It happens sometimes, I think.” Nick’s face immediately went into a pensive look, and Charlie almost wondered if he had said too much.

“How busy is it usually around this time?”

Charlie hesitated for a second, thinking about the question. “It seems like the 7am rush ended rather quickly since both my coworkers left, so I’d say that the next customer walks in anywhere from ten to thirty minutes from now.”

“Thirty minutes sounds like the perfect length for a power nap.” Charlie almost gave a chuckle before he realized how serious Nick was being.

“Here? What if someone comes in earlier than expected? How will I know when to wake up? Plus, it’s a coffee shop, maybe I won’t even get comfortable enough to fall asleep.”

Nick just smiled. “I’ll wake you up if someone walks in. And look, you can use the booth as a mattress, your apron as a blanket, and my lap as a pillow. It will work perfectly.” Nick looked down as he finished talking, and Charlie hoped it was because his face was also rapidly turning pink at his suggestion.

“No no, I couldn’t--I don’t want to make you stay longer than you want to.”

“Trust me Charlie, if I could, I would stay here for as long as possible.” Despite those words causing Charlie’s blush to grow even bigger, he still stayed planted where he was.

“Fine then. I guess, I’ll just sit here doing absolutely nothing for absolutely no reason for half an hour.” Nick teased, giving Charlie his famous cheeky grin.

“You little--” Charlie mumbled as he slowly shuffled his way over to Nick’s booth. He sat, but right before he had laid all the way down, he stopped.

“Are you sure that… this is okay.” All Nick had to do was nod and after a moment of hesitation, Charlie finally laid his head down. In no time flat, he felt himself drifting off. And it was definitely just his half-asleep instinct to nuzzle into Nick’s leg when he felt something playing with his hair.

It was a day early in June when Nick came in looking a bit… off, and Charlie hated it. “What’s up Nick, are you okay?” he asked, probably trying hard to make it seem casual as he gave Nick his drink.

“Yeah, I’m good it’s just that it’s the last day of the school year.”

“Oh, that’s a bummer. Are you gonna miss your kids this year?”

“Definitely,” Nick paused, and looked towards his feet like he tends to do, “Plus, now I have to come up with a new excuse to come here everyday.”

Again, Charlie felt the blush on his face as he tried to come up with a response. Before he could, Nick grabbed his coffee and turned to leave.

“It’s an important day, don’t want to be late, seeya Charlie.” he mumbled, trying to quickly speedwalk his way out the door.

Later, at the end of his shift, Charlie began closing up shop, when someone burst through the door. As Charlie turned, he saw a familiar brown-eyed face.

“Nick, I was actually just closing up shop, we always close up super early on fridays, but I can probably still whip something together for you.”

Nick had a puzzled look on his face for a second. “Oh--oh no, I’m not here for a drink, I’m--I’m here for you.” Charlie felt his face heat up as Nick kept eye contact.

“How--how did you know I’d still be here?”

“Oh I uh--I didn’t, to be honest. I just know that you told me that you worked a lot longer than usual on fridays since you don’t have classes on them. I wasn’t sure how late you stayed though, so I rushed over here the second school got out.” Nick stepped closer, so that they were an arms-width apart, and Charlie couldn’t help but look to the ground.

“Oh, well, what’s up? Why do you need me then?”

“Can I-- can I ask you a question?” Charlie simply gulped and nodded. He felt a cool, comforting hand on his chin that pulled his head up so that he was looking Nick in the eyes again. Instead of pulling his hand away, though, Nick let it rest on the side of Charlie’s head. Charlie did his best to avoid nuzzling into it.

Nick took a deep breath. “I’m… I’m not… imagining it am I?”

Nick hoped that he wouldn’t have to explain what “it” was, he hoped that Charlie would understand. And he did. Immediately Charlie looked Nick dead in the eyes. “No, at least I don’t think so but if you aren't sure th--”

Before he could even finish his sentence, Nick took his other hand and wrapped it around Charlie’s waist, and pulled him into a kiss that Charlie had felt like he had been waiting his whole life for.

Maybe it wouldn’t be so hard to find Nick a new excuse afterall.

[corbswrites-sometimes]

Anthem

They always talk about how near impossible it is to fool a therapist. In books, movies, or any sort of media with an edgy, depressed main character, they always try as hard as they can to seem happy, especially around a therapist. Then their therapist turns out to be this super smart, inspiring, while also blunt, sort of hope who can read right through the protagonist, telling them exactly what they need to hear, whether or not it’s what they want to hear. They just show up and fix all their problems, whether or not the protagonist originally wants them to, and queue happy music and endscreen credits.

In reality, it’s way too easy to fool a therapist. Even an amazing one. You laugh a few times, say, “No I’ve never even had anything close to a suicidal thought,” a couple times, maybe throw in some cheery greetings and farewells, and you’re good to go. It’s much easier than I thought it would be. My therapist still thinks I’m just a light case of anxiety, and I’ve been going there for over a year now.

Is it odd that I almost actually wanted the movie therapist? Even though I do always try to sabotage it all, make sure they think I’m okay at all costs, I kind of want to know that I’m not. Maybe I want to be saved. Maybe I can see what I’m heading towards, and I really, desperately want someone to jump out and stop me, whether or not I realize it. Maybe I want an explanation for everything strange going on, stuff that just isn’t normal for me.

But then again, that’s just it. I probably just want an excuse for my piece of shit ass being apathetic, lazy, and introverted. I just want an excuse for why I struggle so much to get up and go to work, why I can’t seem to talk to my friends sometimes. I sigh, disgusted by my own ability to somehow use an actual mental illness as an excuse for myself and my own horrible qualities, and start walking out the door.

My long walk home is suddenly interrupted by a sweet sound erupting over my ears. I’ve always been an avid music listener, but this is something so soft and sweet, but also just so, so sad. It tells a tale in itself, a monster always told it was nothing but just that, but who wants to be so much more. Someone offered anything and everything they could want in life, but with the inability to take any of it due to their own self doubt. Someone who is the cheer and fun of a neighborhood, a school, a city; but the only person they can’t seem to keep happy is themselves. It’s something I want to call my anthem, but I despise the thought that I would compare myself to people who are actually suffering in situations like these, rather than probably just faking it like I must be.

But to think that I’m hearing this song, this anthem that brings life to so many emotions, in the middle of a small, dark street in the downtown of a boring, small town. Despite it being dark enough for the streetlights to be on, I notice that the fourth one on the street is out, pitch black. I feel my feet start to move in the direction of the melody, and I find myself unable to stop them, though maybe I just don’t want to.

I look up and see the dulled colors of a worn-out bookshop named, ”The Bookworm” popping out at me. Even if this entire situation feels so surreal, lonely but also not at all, I know this place as well. I’ve come here for as long as I remember at least a couple times a week, and the store owner has always let me just sit and read, as if it were a library. Despite it being the wrong day as well as much too late, when I peer through the window, I can see a small light glowing just behind some bookshelves in the back. Without any tangible, solid proof, I know that’s where the music is coming from. I tug on the handle of the door.

It opens with a quiet chime of a bell, and as I step through the boundary of the doorway, I am immediately enveloped in the smell of books, old and new. Usually when I step into this shop, it’s breathtaking. A nice, warm, comfortable break from the dull peering through the glass from outside, but it’s breathtaking for a new reason now. It’s odd, not immediately seeing smiling people with every step. It’s also cold, but in a good way, like being happily alone after a long day of extroversion. But neither of these things are what knocks my breath away.

No, it’s that as soon as I open the door the dulled, soft, beautiful tune that I can hear is now accompanied by a voice sweeter and smoother than I’ve ever heard before. The melody goes from beautiful, to awe-inspiring, to dark, to bright, to terrifying, to perfect. I have to remind myself to breathe. As if I’m watching a movie, my body starts moving back to the sound’s origin, the faint light, without me even thinking about it.  

Once there is nothing but one last bookshelf dividing me and the song, I stop, brace my back against the binds of the books, and listen. I here the last, soft, note of the artist’s voice, and I want to look so bad. I want to see the genius, the mastermind, the god who sits on the other side of this shelf. I want to see who could create and perform something this breathtakingly beautiful, so I peer my head around the edge of the bookshelf.

Immediately, I recognize that the creator matches the song perfectly, they’re the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. Tanned, smooth skin, dark brown hair sloppily laying on one side of their head, ripped jeans, a black leather jacket with a logo and patch I can’t read, a jawline to cut Allah, soft green eyes that are--Oh no. I manage to focus on the entire scene a bit better as the beautiful boy at a piano in front of me is staring directly at me.

I also take a second to recognize him. I’ve seen him around my school-- the other kids call him a monster. He’s in a gang, I hear muttered from someone around me as he walks down the hall in front of me. He’s killed at least seven people, from someone else, as he walks into a class. They probably found a stash of drugs in his locker, again, as he’s walking into the principal’s office. I never thought anything of it, always figured it was true. Now I can’t stop thinking about it, and I know for certain it’s not.

“What. The fuck. Do you want.” he looks astonished to see me, and absolutely livid. But he won’t look me in the eyes; terrified, embarrassed.

“Play it again.” he doesn’t move. “Please,” I would be mortified at the desperation in my voice, but my mind can’t seem to be bothered.

He turns back towards the piano, and I feel my feet hesitantly approach the piano and sit as far as I can from him on the piano bench. “I’m--I’m Issa.” I manage to get out.

“Noah.” He starts playing again. Without noticing, it feels like we’re both scooting closer.     

[corbswrites-sometimes]

*looks at bad selfie* art is subjective

[corbswrites-sometimes]

Yes please

I bring you a concept that you never realized you needed: Modern Day Wesper stuck in an elevator.

[corbswrites-sometimes]

I bring you a concept that you never realized you needed: Modern Day Wesper stuck in an elevator.

[corbswrites-sometimes]

v angsty wesper ficlet

Wesper // Bits and Pieces

Words: 1094

Warning: suicide, death, small bit about anxiety attack and abuse

Ahhhhh I’m sorry! I wanted to try a new type of writing style but it just didn’t really work with happy, cheerful writings (Or at least, when I tried it it didn’t). Anywhoozles I promise the next Wesper thing I do will end on a happy note w/little to no angst.

(childhood friends au, modern au)

~~ 

It started when they were five.

Years later, bits and pieces would come at random. He could never remember if they were real memories or imagined ones, read to him from a book or seen on a TV show. He had always had a poor memory, even when he decided that he needed to work on it to impress his father. He knew he remembered his first day of school, though. Bright and colorful, smiles and laughter, tall and dark, even when young.

Now that he thought about it that’s about all he remembered. Happy, young, imaginative thoughts working as a melodramatic background to the tall and the dark, a contrast he had always found breathtakingly beautiful.

It was too perfect, a pipe dream.

He remembered the settings becoming dark. School was no longer bright and colorful, no monotonous and cold. At first it made the tall and dark less different, until he made a discovery. Because the tall and dark was something that would always impress, always put others before them, always find a way to smile. Even when he knew the tall and dark was in the worst possible situation, the tall and dark would smile. Even just to make him smile. It always worked.

He memory began to run cold here. His father’s apparent disappointment, accompanied by his mother’s, quiet, and hidden behind her eyes with each comforting smile and pat on the back that she tried to give. The tall and the dark with a golden light shining within was all that stood out at that point. All that was really there, all that mattered. Yet it could never really be there, could never really matter, as much as he wanted it to.

But all living things must grow.

Eventually the tall and dark found others. He thought that none of them were close to being as beautiful, as stunning, that none of them deserved it. He knew none of them deserved the tall and dark, but then again he knew that he didn’t either. The tall and dark was an animal that couldn’t be caged by any fool who tried like he knew they were, and couldn’t be kept up with by any dreamer like he knew he was.

Soon the tall and dark began growing apart. The more he searched for the tall and dark with their beautiful light, the dimmer it got. Because why hang out with a dreamer with nothing to offer when you could have the treat offered by the fools? In the end it wouldn’t matter, not to the tall and dark anyways.

Despite the tall and dark being pulled and lured away for so long, he always knew they was a string. One little string that he could bring to pull back the tall and dark. But he would never tug it, never dare even touch it. He wouldn’t become a fool, he wouldn’t let himself cage the beautiful beast, even if he could. So he watched as his surroundings grew bleaker and bleaker, and only stared as the light got dimmer and dimmer.

Sometime you have to bleed to know you’re alive.

The tall and dark was still there, scarcer than ever, but still there. He got reminded of that everyday, and comforted by it with a single invitation. He accepted without a second thought. He remembered that night pretty well, despite it being one that he shouldn’t have. He was disoriented, tipsy, but he remembered the new setting. It was something new, something fierce in a way that was both good and bad, filled with all sorts of fools, but lit up beautifully by the light inside the tall and dark.

He remembered the next part too. A call, a doctor, his mother, and then he was lost. Lost and unable to find a breath, now completely intimidated by this fierceness as he ran outside. It went from monotonous and bleak to completely black and gone. He didn’t know where he was, or where to go, and most importantly what to think, how to think.

Suddenly the light was there, shooing off things he couldn’t see, shining bright just for him. It was a light that took care of him, comforted him, even in the midst of all the new and fierce intensity. Even when his home situation found a way to get even bleaker, even more monotonous and violent and absolutely, bone-shakingly terrifying.

New surroundings began to bloom.

He became once again closer to the tall and dark, but he knew that the tall and dark’s situation began to change, because so had his. Rather than the tall and dark being simply accompanied by the setting, he was the setting. When the tall and the dark was in the room, it lit it all up, it made it all wonderfully beautiful.

Even when he was surrounded by the monotonously bleak, or even the nothingness, it somehow wasn’t as bad when he knew, even if it was only subconsciously, that the tall and dark belonged to him, and that he belonged to the tall and dark. He could always see the light, however far away it was. No matter how dark his situations got, they could never get any darker than they were before the tall and the dark, and he knew that.

For once, even with all the nothingness, he was happy. That is, until he realized that he had tugged.

Sometimes the difference between a cage and freedom is something unseen.

He had told the tall and dark his thoughts, why he knew he wasn’t good enough. The tall and dark had just looked him straight in the eyes, and called it love. Aside from the shining light burning through his insides, he knew it made no difference.

In it’s own way, love is a cage.

He knew this would always be true, and he knew he would never let himself be a fool.

The tall and dark believed it was love.

He couldn’t run, he had nowhere else to go, no other light in existence to save him. 

He knew the tall and dark was right, he knew that it was love.

He had to let the tall and dark free, but he couldn’t bring himself to leave himself without a light.

That’s what brought him to this moment. His last real memory. His thoughts were still infatuated with the tall and dark that turned out to be so much more than that as he fell. And fell. And fell. Until he could no longer see the light.

[corbswrites-sometimes]

KANEJ//”Please don’t leave me,”// MODERN DAY COFFEE SHOP AU// SUPER FLUFF// headcanon

~~

- There’s a cafe that Kaz likes to go to before school

- he likes the coffee plus all the lil bakery snacks but sometimes if he hasn’t finished all his homework then he’ll go in early and just hang out for a while

- they even have live music sometimes and it’s always very nice and calm music

- he likes it a lot because it’s not a huge or popular place, it’s just like him, the staff, and maybe 2-3 other people, on a busy day

- so anywhoozles

- one day he walks in and they’re training a new barista

- as soon as he walks in one of the baristas training the newbie pipes up,

- “Oh look, we can even start you off eazy. This is Kaz, he’s actually a regular here. You learn his order once, and you’ve got his order for probably a couple weeks, if not more, until he decides he wants to mix things up,”

- Kaz walked up to the register as the newbie smiled at him

- he couldn’t help but to notice her pretty chocolate eyes

- “How can I help you today?”

- Kaz quickly made his order and took his seat, pulling out his laptop to start on some homework

- Kaz kept on working, before he heard a,

- “Here’s your order, sir,” that startled him so much he almost fell out of his seat

- Kaz couldn’t believe this newbie had snuck up on him without even trying, he was known for noticing the smallest and most minute details, and he couldn’t remember the last time anyone had managed to sneak up on him, especially doing so without trying

- he searched for a nametag

- “Inej”

- maybe this newbie would be more interesting than he thought

- months passed and Kaz actually made an effort to talk to her, and Kaz never made an effort to talk to anyone

- he and Inej slowly became pretty good friends, when Kaz was the only customer or Inej was on breaks, Inej would go and sit with Kaz and they would make chitchat until Inej had to get back to work

- Inej always took the morning shift

- one day Inej told Kaz that the cafe was trying a lot of new things to get more customers in

- Kaz honestly hated the idea, he liked the quaint, quiet little coffee shop, but he knew money was money and there was nothing he could do about it

- so he dealt with it as they remodeled, repainted, started a bunch of new deals, etc.

- until one day they decided to try to target a new group of people, since so far nothing was working

- Kaz didn’t really know much about it, until one late night Kaz decided to do his homework there

- /he didn’t usually go in during nights but he had kind of started to because he knew Inej also worked late nights a lot of the times/

- he walked in and walked over to Inej, made his order, and sat down at his normal table

- he noticed that a pretty big band was setting up

- he also noticed that there were quite a few people waiting for the band to get started

- and now more and more people were coming in to watch the band

- he was walking over to Inej when the band started

- they were a super loud, rock, screamo band that made Kaz’ ears want to bleed

- one look at Inej and he could tell that she hated it as much as he did

- they did their best to talk under the music, but the crowd was just as bad as the band

- the fans were screaming and fighting and smashing cups all over the place

- Kaz couldn’t stand it anymore, so he quickly told Inej goodbye and turned to leave

- “Wait, Kaz,” Inej started

- “Please don’t leave me,” it was barely a whisper but Kaz heard every word of it. He didn’t know why but still he slowly turned back and sat back down with the barista as he nodded his head as an okay

- suddenly Inej gestured him to follow him to the back room, Kaz easily obliged, happy to get as far away from the sound as possible

- Inej turned on the light and shut the door and the mess outside was barely louder than Inej’s almost-whisper from earlier

-the room, however, was a tiny storage closet

- “Sorry,” Inej started, “It’s the best I got,” she spoke as she slid down the back wall so that she was sitting on the ground against the wall

- “It’s perfect,” Kaz said, copying her movements on the wall opposite, so close to the other wall that Kaz and Inej’s feet lay side to side

- they stayed like that for hours and hours just talking

- sometimes there were silences but none of them tension-filled or awkward

- all just comfortable silence

- even when Kaz noticed the noise die down

- he stayed

- she stayed

[corbswrites-sometimes]

Can you please do kanej for the prompt number 31? And can it be a headcanon? Thanks!

Newest post!

[corbswrites-sometimes]

when you have a fic you need to write about one ship but you can’t think of any ideas except one but like you really want to use that idea for another ship

[corbswrites-sometimes]

a v angsty wesper headcanon

Ketterdam High au

WARNING: abuse, panic attacks, anxiety

~~

- Wylan is starting his junior year in Ketterdam High

- His first day starts out pretty uneventful

- Until he walks into his 5th hour, ap calculus

- his teacher, Mr. Haskell, is one of those weirdly strict teachers who already has a seating chart and full lesson plan with a quiz already planned for the next day

- Wylan doesnt really care because he loves math

- Wylan sits his assigned seat, which is towards the back- left ish

- he sighs when he realizes that the teacher planned it so everyone has a partner sitting right next to them

- he does not want to have to socialize, it makes one of the few things he academically understands completely much more difficult and confusing

- luckily his desk partner isn’t there by the time class starts

- wylan hopes that it means that there’s an odd amount of people in the class and he got put alone

- he relaxes at the thought and pulls out a binder to start on the notes that Haskell has already started writing

- five minutes into class, and Jesper Fahey bursts into class, apologizing-but-not-really about being late

- Wylan feels his heart skip a beat

- he doesn’t really know Jesper, but he’s had a few classes with him

- Jesper interests the hell out of Wylan

- Wylan can easily say that Jesper is one of the smartest kids in all of Ketterdam High,

- yet he’s so charming and sarcastic and witty and outgoing all at the same time and it just fascinates the living hell out of Wylan

- Wylan can barely breath as Jesper sits next to him and whisper-speaks, “Wylan, right? Jesper Fahey,”

- Wylan can barely lift his hand to shake Jesper’s

- Wylan has never been so close to Jesper and he can’t believe how beautiful - this kid is, he has to force himself to look at the board at the front of the room the entire hour, not even allowing him to turn back towards Jesper when replying to his witty remarks

- a couple months pass, and wylan teaches himself not to get utterly lost anytime he looks and speaks to Jesper

- they become pretty good friends, but aren’t necessarily super close, only hanging out in ap calculus and at honor society meetings, where Wylan also meets Jesper’s close friends, but they don’t talk much

- Wylan does actually visit jesper’s house once or twice so they can study together

- Wylan is definitely crushing

- hard

- he still isn’t great friends with the group though, and he mainly hangs out by himself

- And by the time first tri is over, and the small amount of motivation from a new school year is gone, 

-Wylan can feel himself drowning

- his dad sees his 1st tri report card-- including the english grade

- wylan is just so sick of the beatings at home

- Just enough in the right places to hurt, not enough to be seen

- only to get to school to be called a nerd, nasty slurs, and worthless, even once or twice by his english teacher

- Not to mention the kids who like to beat him up 1-3 times a week

- which just leads to more yelling from his father because he’s so weak, and stupid, and worthless

- Second tri is finished and wylans dad has had a shit day

- Wylan can barely breath by the time his dad is finished, he can’t stand it anymore

- He runs

- and runs

- and runs

- he finds himself at the public library, scrounging frantically for any book at a high school level that he can read more than a chapter of

- he’s gotten blood all over the books

- he can barely see, which makes an already difficult task much harder

- he’s surrounded by a bunch of open and scattered books in the back of the library before he finally breaks

- he’s sobbing and he’s on the ground and he can’t breath and he’s so glad that it’s almost midnight so there’s no way that any other kids would be there

- he’s lost and everything hurts and he can’t stop thinking about how this will never end and how even when he moves out he will have nothing and nowhere and no one and he can’t breath and he feels himself slipping so quickly

- he’s lost

- he’s lost

- he’s lost

- “Wylan?”

- it’s a familiar voice and it makes things worse because now he realizes that he doesn’t want to open his eyes he doesn’t want to continue he doesn’t want to be alive because it will never stop and now he can’t even be safe in his chats with his sort-of-friends because now this person knows and soon everyone will know and he can’t breath

- “Wylan, please, hey, it’s going to be okay, look at me, it’s going to be okay, I just need you to calm down okay, c’mon, look at me, it’s me, Jesper,”

- these tender words, forgotten for years are like a life raft and Wylan can start breathing a bit slower but he’s still shaking and he still can’t see--- still doesn’t want to see

- he feels something real-- Jesper-- pull his head on his lap, gripping his head with both of his hands

- It’s real, he can breath, he’s still alive, he’s still living

- he’s home

- Wylan slowly opens his eyes

- Jesper’s on the verge of tears and his breath catches when Wylan finally opens his eyes, even though he’s still shaking

- they sit like that for a minute until Wylan finally realizes what he’s doing, where he is, who he’s with

- He pops up frantically, trying to repair his mask as he starts gathering up the books covered in small splotches of dried blood

- “I’m sorry, I just-- it’s been a long night, I just was going to study-- guess I’m just a bit stressed because of school and-- I’m sorry-- I’m so sorry-- I’ll tell Haskel you don’t want to sit by me and-- I’ll make sure I stop gravitating towards you and your friends--shit-- I’m sorry-- I’ll see you Monday--”

- “Wylan,”

- Jesper is still on the verge of tears and he says Wylan’s name so gentle and Wylan can’t remember the last name he hasn’t heard his name in an emotion other than anger

- Jesper reaches out to part of Wylan’s face, by his eye, and Wylan feels a sharp sting that must be from a cut

- Jesper’s lets out a strangled, “Wylan,” barely loud enough to be audible

- he’s about to say something else, but Wylan cuts him off,

- “I’m so sorry,” barely a whisper, but then he runs off

~~

- It’s monday and Wylan is losing his shit, counting down until 5th hour

- Wylan walks in and is super surprised to find that Jesper is there early, he has to remind himself to keep walking to his seat

- the second he sits down he’s back to more explaining, “I’m sorry, Haskell won’t let me move seats, but don’t worry, I still won’t--”

- Jesper grabs Wylan’s hands in his own before he can continue and looks Wylan right in the eyes, their faces only a few inches apart

- “Listen to me Wylan, I don’t know what’s going on at your house, but it’s not going to change my feelings towards you, okay? We are friends, okay? That’s not going to change,”

- he pauses and Wylan is still stuck on four of Jesper’s words, ‘my feelings for you,’

- He probably just means friendship but wylan can’t help but to hope

- Jesper finally continues, “I am worried about you, though. Promise me something?”

- Wylan simply looked back into Jesper’s eyes as an answer.

- “Next time you need to break down, or you’re hurt, or even if you’re just scared or uncomfortable, I don’t care, please come to my house. Please,” he was practically begging, and Wylan could see a caring look in his eyes

- he barely nodded his head, and the other boy still held his face until finally letting it go, deciding it was good enough of an answer for now

- less than half an hour later, and Jesper was back to his witty remarks, and the two were back to same as always

- but they weren’t

- Jesper began following Wylan around, walking him to class, becoming generally better friends, as well as additionally scaring off any possible bullies

- he didn’t realize it, but he was starting to swim

[That’s all I’m gonna write for now because I’m crying this is a lot longer than I meant for it to be and there’s a lot more so yeah imma have to finish in a few days probably maybe]

[corbswrites-sometimes]

Are you going to write a fanfic for after held up? Jesper's first day at Ketterdam meeting Wylans friends?

Honestly I wasn’t planning on it, but now I might because yes awe now i have cute imagery of a nervous jesper-the-new-kid in my head lookit what youve done

[corbswrites-sometimes]

6 and 21 and I guess full fic? Up to you

I actually just did one for 21 before I saw this request, and I will definitely work on 6 next! Thanks fren! <3

[corbswrites-sometimes]

Ninej // Georgia’s Waffles // modern au

Word count: 1060; this one’s a shortie.

SIDENOTE: I actually did my research, turns out Georgia is a bomb place to go if you want some frickin waffles at amazing waffle houses.

~~

“Is this heaven?” Nina looked so starry-eyed, that Inej thought she might actually cry, which sent her into a fit of laughter.

“Best waffle house in the state. Look at that beautiful toppings bar,” Inej showed off her new state’s best and most memorable treasures.

Nina and Inej met about four years ago, when they were both sophomores in high school. Inej had known Jesper for years, and Nina and Wylan were becoming great friends, so when Wylan and Jesper hit it off, they soon introduced they’re buds to each other. Nina and Inej first found a common interest when they talked about their love for waffles, and began going to the local waffle house every Saturday. Sadly, when they graduated, Inej moved away to Georgia to begin attending UGA. Meanwhile, Nina stayed in Florida, attending FSU. This was the first time in almost six months since they had seen each other, and last time, it had been Nina’s turn to show Inej around.

“Honestly, I’m just looking at it and I feel like I’m going to burst into tears of joy. It’s so beautiful,” Nina even added a little groan at the end, to emphasize her point. Inej couldn’t help but to let out a little snort at her friend’s reaction; it was exactly what she had hoped for.

“Let’s go dish up,” Inej said, unnecessarily, really, considering Inej was practically running as she tried to catch up with her friend who was already rushing to the line.

The two slowly loaded their fresh waffles with everything from fruit to gummy bears. They even decided to have a contest to see who could make the most delicious waffle--which, of course meant that they both had to make a multitude of waffles to make sure they made every delicious flavor that their little hearts desired.

Inej looked to Nina’s face, and was immediately filled with happy thoughts to see that her friend was still content, and that Inej really had done good during her first task to show that her ‘new and scary’ state didn’t actually have to be all that ‘new and scary’. Suddenly, Nina’s face lit up, and Inej immediately followed her gaze to… a chocolate fountain that was a bit up the line.

“I’ve… never seen that,” Inej found herself almost as taken aback by the beauty of the fountain as Nina had, “It must be brand new… I was here last week,”

Nina and Inej couldn’t help but to stand in a comfortable silence, anticipating their turn to make a delicious chocolate-covered waffle. Nina was planning on adding strawberries and whip cream on top of the chocolate, while Inej was thinking more towards bananas and blueberries. They shuffled slowly and carefully, as if the fountain was some sort of beautiful beast that they couldn’t afford to scare away, until they were next in line, right behind a little kid.

An udderly disgusting and stupid little kid, as future-Nina might have said. The kid began by sticking her waffle into the fountain, proceeding to lick of the still-melted chocolate. She eyed the top of the fountain, where all the chocolate and simply shrugged. That is, before she decided that plugging the hole with her waffle would be a good idea. She stuffed the waffle down as hard as she could, chocolate spraying everywhere. By the time her mother had finally remembered to pay attention to her child, it was already too late.

Broken. The chocolate fountain was broken. Nina almost cried at the word. Inej tried to brush it off, knowing it would be back next week, even if Nina wasn’t with her. Inej began to shuffle forward before realizing that Nina wasn’t following her. She looked back, only to find Nina still staring morosely at the chocolate fountain.

“Inej, look,” Nina said, without missing a beat. Inej followed her stare only to find the broken chocolate fountain.

“Yes, I know it sucks, but next time you’re here--” Inej began before Nina quickly waved her off.

“No, no, don’t give me that crap. But look, the base of the fountain still has chocolate in it, and it still hasn’t dried.” Inej looked again at the broken fountain to find that Nina was right, but Inej didn’t understand how that could mean anything,considering it was still very out of reach since the staff had moved it back once it broke.

She looked back at Nina, only to find her warily eyeing the bars that stood between her and the chocolate fountain, and it took less than a moment for Inej to realize her best friend’s plan. “Nina, no--,” She started, but it was too late. Nina shoved her arm up to her shoulder between two of the bars in an abrupt and harsh manor, waffle held tightly in her hand. Despite she now had some extra length, she still couldn’t quite reach the fountain.

After wriggling a bit, she finally spoke again, “Alright I’ll just grab something the stick the waffle onto while I hold onto the other side, perf--,” She stopped suddenly, wriggling around a bit violently before looking to Inej.

“I’m. Fucking. Stuck.” Nina had barely gotten the words out before Inej had doubled over, unable to hold back her laughter. She could feel tears coming out of her eyes as she began to take out her phone, no end to the laughing in sight.

“Don’t laugh. Do. Not. Laugh. This is not funny.” Inej didn’t seem to hear her as she kept laughing and snapped a quick picture of Nina in her current position. At this point, people around them were beginning to notice.

“Delete that. Now.” Nina said, trying to lower her breath so that the surrounding families wouldn’t hear her struggles. Needless to say, Inej didn’t care, as she quickly posted the video to Snapchat as well as sending it to both Wylan and Jesper, all the while still laughing.

Nina stayed that way for almost an hour waiting for the fire department, Inej laughing the whole time. Even after all this, they still sat down and happily ate their waffles, feeding each other a bite of each one of their wacky combinations. In the end, Nina won their competition, which is what Inej called a, “well-deserved victory” despite the fact that Nina never got the chocolate-dipped waffle she wanted so badly.