core-memories

[core-memories]

[core-memories]

Fuck this

Fuck this relationship

I never should have gotten back together with you you're fucking lucky I love Virgil so much or you'd be on the fucking curb

Sometimes I really fucking hate how little you care

[core-memories]

Like we're actually gunna get married... what a joke

[core-memories]

You're upset that you left the damn cat food and don't want to drive back to get it or go out and get more

I'm upset because that's 20 fucking dollars wasted

[core-memories]

I'm so fucking tired of these fucking kids I hate every fucking one of them I haute this job

[core-memories]

Everything would be a lot easier if I didn't care

[core-memories]

You make me feel like hanging out with me is a chore you're reluctant to do

You're so happy while out and about unless it's with me. Then you're just filling a quota.

I don't like feeling like I'm an obligation to you. I wish you'd want me around. I wish I wasn't boring and washed up.

I wish it still felt like you loved me

[core-memories]

I'm sorry if me being tired and depressed is inconvenient, I'll do better to hide it in the future since it puts you in such a pissy mood.

[core-memories]

Man don't ask for medical advice if you're not gunna fucking take it.

Like I know what to fucking do here. I may not have a certification like Veronica but let me fucking tell you I've done this exact thing more times than her. This was my job for years would it kill you to trust me.

[core-memories]

I don't know what I'm supposed to do. My sign was to wait for Virgil but now I'm not sure if it was a warning instead. What if there was something there I didn't notice? What if I would have known if I wag more aware??

Now everything going on with cora. You're saying the universe is pushing for this but I can't see why??? Why do you have to suffer for this? Is that the price of losing ignorance? Will I have to submit to torture just because it's meant to be?

Am I meant to sacrifice this? I wanted to get more involved spiritually for a long while now but I didn't know if I was supposed to. I asked for a sign and it was Virgil. I read that as I have to be here, on earth, for him before I can explore that aspect. But what if I read it wrong?

I'm realizing I didn't actually read anything though. I'll use the cards from my childhood, and then I'll look into reading my dad's cards. Then I can get a real answer.

This helped more than I thought it would. Maybe I should write more often. Maybe I should be a writer.

[core-memories]

Food should not make me this happy maybe I just have low blood sugar

[core-memories]

Depression canceled you took me out to a beach and a buffet.

[core-memories]

I don't think your realize how upset I am about this

Go to her. Get back together and fail a third fucking time. Let get hit you, and abuse you, and make you feel like shit. I'm tired of picking up your pieces.

You're like broken glass. You may be the one that broke but I still get hurt picking up the pieces.

I'm sorry I showed a dollop of how I feel and it made you upset. I should know to keep my feelings to myself.

Break up with me before I do it myself. Prove to me that I'm right. Prove that I'm unlovable.

[core-memories]

[core-memories]

I'm fucking hungry and I wish you realized how upset I am without making it a pity party about you

[core-memories]

But like

I wanted to fucking hang out with you ALL DAY

And then when I stopped trying and started working on the house your didn't want me to leave? You could have joined me and helped????? And now you don't want to let me sleep???

What the fuck is wrong with you

[core-memories]

It's not happening and I wish you would see that