corpseflowergal-blog

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lol it totally is

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* i can’t remember any of like, the past, uh. when did i post again???

* i woke up covered in fast food wrappers with blood under my fingernails

* wtf?????

* ?????????????? 

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Full offense, but if your coping mechanism involves hurting others, or other people are hurt as a result of your coping, then it is in fact a shitty coping mechanism that you need to get rid of, and the people you hurt have every right to be angry with you and call you a shitty person.

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* ...... you.... wanted to be different, right? * i mean, that’s why people take new names. or old ones.

* that’s why i did.

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* .... i can’t ever get mad for the right reasons.

* Have a fight right in front of me? Threaten to kill yourself? Threaten to kill somebody else? Super calm, maybe mildly annoyed.

* One dude in chat trying to work himself through a budding Neo-complex

* KILL BILL SIRENS

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......... i guess he was just scared. can’t exactly fault him for it. 

I, I get so, mad at people trying to stay on top of things that are .. so obviously forces of nature. can’t you see you’re just, beating your fists against the ocean? you’re a powerless little bug and there’s NOTHING you can do so go ahead and waste your energy. You’ll drown sooner.

......... i really just can’t stand that guy. 

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how high is my lv now

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i’m good at everything i do! =)  can you be good at dying

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it’s science and magic, not a theological truth, you dipshit

go ahead and poke around. glitch yourself out and figure out how fun it is.

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.....i guess that doesn’t give me an excuse to be a dick. we thought that with seeds too. and he’s cool, he didn’t deserve the baggage.

. i don’t know.

i just......... can’t muster up the energy to get out of bed, much less care about anyone else right now. i’ll give everyone their gifts eventually. just wait on me, ok guys?

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it happens to everyone, eventually.

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.... it’s weird that he’s back. i don’t have the energy to be upset. i’m glad? i am.

i guess i just don’t trust that it’s real. he has some memories, sure. but.. but.... but what?

in a multiverse that is infinitely huge and infinitely recursive, memories are the only things separating us from the void

i’m me, but only barely i’m all that i am and it’s all locked up in my head.

if i lost that, i wouldn’t be me. 

i’d be an npc running around in an empty skin.

i guess i’m afraid that’s what happened to him too.

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idfk why i’m upset that nobody’s worried about me when i self isolate and avoid people on the reg anyway???

it’s kind of comforting too though tbqh. i’m not worrying anyone. they can spend their time and energy on people who need it more.

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....... they aren’t even villains. 

they. . ., they’re the same as me? . haha. 

. im. .. i m being selfish. fuck. ffuck, i hate this. i hate this, i just want to be able to tear shit up without regretting it.

FUCK.

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......................................... sighs.

i won’t, though. i only ever seem to make friends with the wrong people, like the wrong people, trust the wrong people.

figures i’d help the wrong people too.

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, . 

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, . they’d probably kill me.