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i’m sick and tired of people pretending that burger isn’t delicious just to clown on americans. america deserves the ridicule, but why’s burger catching strays? burger did nothing wrong

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Weird how “masturbating and falling asleep in the late afternoon” isn’t regarded as a cherished summertime tradition

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you say to me here is a woman. she's insane and irreparably broken and probably a danger to herself and others. and i say yay yippee woohoo! and things of this nature

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sorry for drunkposting AND hornyposting on main but i need to say. the discourse is old as dirt at this point but. wrightworth are SWITCHES they TAKE TURNS with whose on top and/or in charge and im TIRED OF PRETENDING THEY DONT. miles needs to be in charge sometimes but be also needs to cede control and let someone else take care of him. phoenix loves to take care of his lovely bf and listen to his demands but sometimes he also wants to watch that twink's brain unravel. and also theyre t4t

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You’re married to your phone background/lockscreen how fucked are you

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if i lived in the mushroom kingdom luigi and i would be best friends

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I should be allowed to bite people at work

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i dont want to go to work today do you think i can just submit a couple frames of a wrightworth animatic to my boss instead of doing what I'm actually supposed to be doing

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if I ever strike gold and end up writing a popular book series i'd love to keep an eye on the fandom to determine the smallest crackship and make that the only one that goes canon

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Possibly the greatest NPR exchange ever recorded

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sometimes I almost forget slut is a derogatory term. it's so friend shaped to me. I love when things are slutty. I love sluts and slutting it up. it's a cute word. make every day sluttier than your last. sluttttt

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he was openly bisexual. he didn't know that but he was

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I think cats were onto something with the whole “butt head against person you like and wrap your tail around them” thing like I would also be doing this if I could

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My bebo

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the problem with how people characterize narumitsu is that they only see them as the grumpy and the sunshine ship dynamic, so they end up writing phoenix as a golden retriever and miles as an old gay queen.

but like, phoenix is such a bitch. the bitchiest bitch that ever bitched, actually. he enjoys sarcasm and trash talking, but he has this thing called "situational awareness", so he knows not to behave like a massive cunt in front of people involved in a murder investigation

on the other hand miles gets easily flustered and his fight or flight response to being caught off guard is spitting a venomous comeback. but in his head he's making puns. he's thinking about how the plants are beautiful. he's like an easily spooked horse who is also a dork that gets into a staring contest with a dog. and then loses