covekat

[covekat]

I need to put this out there. First and foremost, praise God and hallelujah to His name. Jesus saved me from what I'm about to talk about. And I need to share it.

I dont want to go into major detail, but I do want to make it clear that I understand the struggle. I used to have an eating disorder among a few other mental illnesses. Anxiety, bipolar, depression, stories for another time. But the worst one was the ed. Which I had named Bella.

Bella was and is a demon. One that I let latch onto me because the things she whispered in my ear seemed better than everything around me. From around the age of 10 or so, Bella started her mission to make me hurt myself. She told me many of the lies anyone with an ed probably have heard in their ears. When I turned 15, I started listening to her. I knew eds were a thing, but I didn't understand it. I knew it was bad, but I didn't care. I just knew it would make me smaller. And that's all I cared about was being smaller. Because my guilt, self hate, and pain were too big for anything else to be there. I went through the ropes, a lot of what was common, I did at one point or another in the span of 6 years. I was anorexic, bulimic, a binge eater, and a self pain inflicter. I surfed the web for any inspo or sites with others in the same pain I was in. I kept more secrets than my mind could keep track of. I lost myself and my love for just about everything in my life. But that was what Bella wanted. To steal the love in my life because Jesus is love and demons dont like Jesus or love. I spent my days in constant fear, stress, and anguish, some days in delusion that I was happy when I didn't eat. But realistically, I was still miserable bc I knew I'd have to eat again or I still wasnt happy with where I was. I always was hungry for something more and not food, but love. And that was too close to hell. The bible says

2 Thessalonians 1,9 "They will suffer the punishment of eternal destruction, away from the presence of the Lord and from the glory of his might".

In those 6 years I was without the Lord, without love, and in endless suffering. But it did end bc I put my faith in God.

It started when I met my husband. He brought love back into my life where others couldn't. He taught me I am beautiful even with a little weight bc my physical body isn't what makes me beautiful. My heart is.

1 Samuel 16:7

"But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him. For the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart.”

Yes, you should take care of your body bc God blessed you with it. But don't worship or idolize it. And yes, you are doing that when your constant thought through the day is about your body and what you put in it or what you take out of it. My husband taught me what matters and showed me the path back to the Lord. I stopped stressing about all those stupid numbers that crowded my head day in and day out, even in my sleep. I stopped being scared to eat even a little apple. I stopped hurting my body and my mind. I stopped listening to Bella, who, yes, I still hear to this day, and I know at some point I wont hear her anymore. Bc she still wants to take my love away. Not anymore, I say. I may hear her, but i dont listen. I ignore it, and I listen instead to the Holy Spirit, who loves me and doesn't want to hurt me.

Bc that's all we want, right? That's why we strive for the endless goal we never seemed to reach. To be loved and cherished and held in care and seen as beautiful. Jesus loves us, He loves you. And He sees you as beautiful as you were meant to be. But you have to say no the the demon in your head telling you all those lies.

The numbers dont matter.

The clothes don't matter.

The food doesn't matter.

The hateful comments don't matter.

The pain and suffering can end.

The fear can end.

The stress can end.

The secrets can end.

I know all too well a pain that makes your heart feel as a black hole devouring you inside out. But the love Jesus can put in your life can take that away. That love will heal you. But you need to choose that love. You need to stop wanting to be smaller. Bc smaller doesn't matter. You are not helpless or stuck. You can get better and be happy through Jesus.

I praise God again and every day for saving me. And I know and believe He can save you too.

If you want to choose a better path where love is, I found this site with some great verses and poems that tell the truth and not lies. Its not my site, I just found it.

Link:

https://milknhoneymagazine.com/eating-disorder-resources-bible-verses-poetry

[covekat]

Tablets still out of commission, but no worries, ill still be drawing!!

This one here is what a slow day at waffle house looks like lol. If you guys want anything specif drawn, leave a comment, ill check it out.

Remember, spread thise good vides everyone!! 😁❤️🖌

[covekat]

I want the animals there too please

Ok no problem

[covekat]

COMMISSIONS OPEN!!

Spring is here guys! Opening the new season with some new products. I now will draw coloring pages and books!

My email is above as well as in my bio. Dm or email me if interested.

Can't wait to see what the next few months will bring. But no matter what, let's spread those good vibes!

[covekat]

Hello can you please draw my OC hatching out of a giant egg in the forest?

Yeah do you want the animals there too or just your OC?

[covekat]

I keep seeing a pretty moon in the sky lately and just had to do a moon drawing. I'm a night owl for sure lol

[covekat]

Whassup guys!! Wanted to update and show my latest commission. Credit to the person who drew the original design for the oc. I really liked the color pallette for this one guys.

[covekat]

Hello how is my commission going?

It's good. I'll send an update today or tomorrow and see what you think.

[covekat]

sure go ahead

Ok I'll draw up a sketch and we'll go from there

[covekat]

so this is a reference image of what I want for my commission

I want my oc chilling underneath the giant mushrooms with his cute animal friends

Ok np. You want me to use the same color palet as the reference picture?

[covekat]

hello so I saw your post talking about free commissions for OCs and I was wondering if I could do one please

Yeah you can. Dm me with the details

[covekat]

[covekat]

Heres the latest commissions I did. I gotta say I had a lot of fun drawing the grinch. Still doing free commissions through December. I'll be making an official announcement about that later on. Have a great day everyone!

[covekat]

Watch Covekat with me on Twitch! https://www.twitch.tv/covekat?sr=a

[covekat]

Just a quick drawing I did for a December art challenge.

Day 1 - holiday door decor

#decemberartchallenge2023 #pentagram #yule #christmasdecor #digitalartist #digitalart #wreath

[covekat]

Hi there If you are still accepting requests maybe you'd consider one of my roleplay Princess Luella Tulloran and her personal servant/body guard a dark fey named Kenoth? I'd adore if Kenoth could be offering Luella a gift like in the ref image (lady in I'm blue dress with dude) but instead of a golden apple it's a golden Chalice/goblet? Thanks so much for considering!

Yes I'm still taking requests. I'll draw up a sketch for you to look at.

[covekat]

Thinking of drawing a picture for this poem. What do you think?

My feelings spread across my chest, like climbing vines  growing deep in the cracks. They were rooted, and strong, and I felt strangled under their weight.

- G.L. Angelone