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chat am i soaring on wax wings. am i sailing overbold towards my fateful downfall or nah

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you might scoff but the numbers don't lie. by saving $5 on rotisserie chicken every day you too could become a millionaire in just 547 years

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doctor: you're going to live

me: (tearing up) isn't there anything we can do?

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well??

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as someone who knows nothing about psychology i can say with certainty that the dunning-kruger effect isn't real and has never applied to me

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i am drinkign apple jucie because i am so sad

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like 2 months ago i woke up from a dream thinking "im not gods strongest soldier. im gods weakest blimp." which means nothing but now repeats in my head ad nauseum.

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i'd rather see 1000 graffiti penises than 1 product billboard. i'd live in dick city if it meant i could avoid advertisements in my daily life.

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it is so small. but it is strong enough. it has Determination. one must have reverence for the unrelenting rat

i just thought about pizza rat and started crying

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i just thought about pizza rat and started crying

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blackberries are so good <- the start of my fruit reviewer career

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not now kitten. the enormity of daddy's desire is disgusting him

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lol nice outfit loser *puts phone up to ear* huh…? what? oh um- okay. anyway 1828 called. they said they found something really really scary in goya’s house

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the tree falling in the forest with no one around to hear it should've been at the club

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extremely underrated subgenre of tumblr post: when someone makes a general statement about something, and another person offers a counter-statement that's just completely nonsensical, and the OP just agrees instantly even if it makes no sense at all

examples:

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