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In Austin powers: international man of mystery (1997), Mike Myers predicted the blockage of the Suez Canal 24 years later.

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The sitcom F.R.I.E.N.D.S is usually filmed in front of a live audience. This is because filming in front of deceased audience is frowned upon.

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reading tarot is like "ah yes, i can see exactly what your problem is and i can give you advice from both me and my cards" for other people, but then as soon as i do it for myself it's like "... I have no idea what you're trying to tell me. maybe if i squint at you hard enough i'll figure out something you're saying" and i think that's pretty cash money of me. the duality of man, if you will. full clarity and illiteracy

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announcement

in a change of heart and pace, i have decided I'm gonna "rebrand" and post mostly fiction and fanfiction, i don't know what my previous "brand" was other than stressful for no reason, and i feel like this is better. sorry, y'all! on the plus side i will dabble in quite a few fandoms

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sorry not sorry but I am always going to give people the benefit of the doubt when it comes to queer inclusion

Like if you say you’re bi but you’ve only dated people of the opposite gender? you’re bi as hell i don’t care.

If you tell me you’re trans but you haven’t transitioned yet or don’t want to undergo certain aspects of transitioning? you are trans! I’m gonna call you by the name and pronouns you tell me to use

what if someone looks feminine, is afab, and uses she/her pronouns but identifies as nonbinary? what if someone looks masculine, is amab, and uses he/him pronouns but identifies as nonbinary? both of those people are nonbinary because they said they are!

if you’re asexual or aromantic but you’re still hetero in the sense that you experience attraction of some sort to the opposite gender and that gender alone? you’re still a part of the community babe! Aros and aces have always been queer.

If you don’t know if you’re queer or not? you’re certainly welcome to be a part of our spaces while you figure it out!

if you don’t wanna use labels? dont! that’s it! never let anyone pressure you into labels if you’re not ready to define that part of yourself.

if you use labels/pronouns that are uncommon and/or perceived as strange? that’s your label! those are your pronouns! who am i to tell you you can’t use those words to describe yourself??

basically fuck all the debates about the nuances of this stuff. if you tell me you’re queer, you’re fucking queer. I have no right to start discourse with people about their own identities and neither does anyone else.

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back for a small bit, apparently there's a strategy to using duolingo that works for some people, which it to review everything you know, and then if it goes well do one lesson, but unfortunately i have small brain disease and can't figure out if a lesson is doing the whole thing, or the sub sections. because the way duolingo works, you have a lesson, and each lesson is broken up into sections, and if you pass all the sections, you level up on the lesson until you clear all five levels. and there are usually five sub sections to a level. so would it take me 25 days or 5 days to move on to the next lesson?? I'm so confused ngl, what is considered a lesson

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jfhsdj there was stuff i forgot to add!!!

ok SO when i was sleeping last night, my brain kept ryna wake me up with my usual triggers, shit that i’ve repressed n can’t remember and will always wake me up under any circumstance, BUT this time!! it would happen but instead of waking up, i got that same “wait, this. this isn’t real, this isn’t me” feel, and then it would be another dream but i was simply observing what was happening instead of the normal first person. well, my brain tried again with waking me up, this time using stuff that aren’t any of my triggers, and the same thing happened again except I was now in control and it was in first person n i felt really angry for some reason? and this flip floping kept happining until i finally woke up because either someone slammed a door really agressivly and it woke me up or my brain decided “FINE u lil shit” n simply conjured it up. Eitehr way i woke up in a panic, tried to calm myself, and blacked out again but this time instead of being in my bed like usual, i was eating. and it was three hours later. blackouts haven’t been that long since second grade. it was wack af

jadkfhds ok so it’s like, still 2020 here n it’s abt 10:30 as i write this, and this has been BUGGING me for a really long time n i wanted to talk about it here n it’s wack.

TW/CW: everything is uncensored, death mention, car crash mention, venting

Keep reading

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jadkfhds ok so it’s like, still 2020 here n it’s abt 10:30 as i write this, and this has been BUGGING me for a really long time n i wanted to talk about it here n it’s wack.

TW/CW: everything is uncensored, death mention, car crash mention, venting

jsdhfksd ok so for like, a really long time, I’ve been able to kinda just. zone out n Do Stuff while completely oblivious to everything around me. N by completely oblivious i mean that it would happen but I wouldn't remember any of it? or it would be really cloudy n partial n even looking back at stuff i did i could clearly see that yeah, i had physically written it, but it just wasn’t me? like for example, sometimes i would be coloring and things would get hazy and next thing i’m aware of, the page i was coloring is done, but it’s. really, super messy. like i’m talking the kind of messy i had in kindergarten bc my motor skills were heavily under developed for my age and they still are but it’s better. and i would have like, absolutely no memory of what happened during that time and it made me so agitated and weird because?? why is this done completely differently than how i normally would do it. I have the evidence that i physically did it, but there was no mental trace of it? and whenever someone mentions death or car crashes i just. Like, ok, i know i was present at the time it happened but i would just kinda. mentally, my brain would get a lil hazy and i’d be in another spot, past it. Same thing whenever we’re really close to crashing, like i’ll see it happening, brace, and then it’s ten minutes later and over. also, i’m prone to random blackouts that happen from anywhere between 20 minutes to 2 hours, and i just thought that I was sleeping during it? but recently, when i’ve “snapped back”, i’ve noticed a bunch of tabs open on stuff i honestly don’t care about, like how paint is made, affects of various mental illnesses, and most reasently, which occured within an hour, about 17 tabs open on DID symptoms, non of which i read, i just bookmarked all of them and put them in the folder i have with the other stuff “i’ve” found. Another weird thing is, I actually have chat messages from this round of blackout? the puntuation was perfect, there was little to no slang or swearing, and they (i?) mentioded how it was critical they (imma just refer to them as they from now on) record this stuff because I wouldnt remember. they also mentioned how it felt like they were me but also not?? man idk what the heck is going on but it’s been bugging me bc ik the blackouts have been happening for ages under stress and certain triggers but *apparently*, they are not me or somthing?? it’s so weird n i just wanted to get it off my chest before the year is over for me

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Heyo y’all! So I’m back, but I’m going to be in my normal state I had before of “huh, I will post and reblog whatever on occasion”. Also, I figured out I’m aroace, and not bi. I also forgot what I planed for when I came back. And I’m still mentally exhausted from absolutely everything going on. Fun times! Y’all stay safe and uh. Well, stay safe for the rest of 2020.

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Feeling cute, might blast sea shanties and get into a homoerotic sword fight later

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rat bastard (complimentary)

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twitter is a hellsite (derogatory) and tumblr is a hellsite (affectionate)

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“omg how do u come up w this stuff” well ive been plagued by visions since birth

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i want an ancient elaborate dagger with my name engraved into the blade as a gift. the only romantic gesture

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My intention isn’t to BOSS people around. But people who don’t create on tumblr really have to understand that if creators stop posting here, you won’t have anything else to like but maybe memes. If you want content to circle around to your dashboard… you have to pay it forward and reblog. That is why this website is dying. The Ban is not the only reason.

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aright, I’m gonna vibe for like, what, 3-6 days? expect a lot of spam or something when I come back, gonna do stuff while chilling. Y’all have a good week! I care about y’all!

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ok so if baby Virgil doesn't wanna be put back in the sea bc he really wants to be held, how about sitting in the shallows while holding him?

(Followup to this) Yes, 10/10! Very content bebe. :)