cryptidk8

[cryptidk8]

hmmm

[cryptidk8]

“there are plenty of fish in the sea” = there are more people out there who you could get with

“sleeping with someone” = having sex with them

“sleeping with the fishes” = got murdered

my proposal: “there are plenty of other fish to sleep with” = next person you fuck will kill you

[cryptidk8]

⠀⠀⠀

Can you speak up please? Can you speak up? Hey fucker I cannote heard you

[cryptidk8]

If I were a doctor and someone came to me to have a Pickle Rick tattoo removed I wouldn’t charge them. It would be inhumane for me to make them go on like that

[cryptidk8]

Once you become a certain age, it is your responsibility to unlearn behaviors that hinder your growth as a person.

[cryptidk8]

i love when random tumblr users find my blog and go through it liking and reblogging everything in a frenzy, it feels like i’ve been cultivating a nice backyard with a lovely birdbath and feeder and i’ve glanced out the window to see a bird going absolutely wild with it

[cryptidk8]

little known fact, once you are older & no longer in school, time stops being real. did that thing happen one year ago? two? five? a few months ago? who knows. 

[cryptidk8]

✅ tortured by Voices

✅ cursed by god

✅ small waist

✅ criminal record

✅ died once

Diagnosis: babygirl

[cryptidk8]

[cryptidk8]

me

[cryptidk8]

If you touch my feet I'm gonna do it- Hi Ya

[cryptidk8]

[cryptidk8]

[cryptidk8]

just heard the most beautiful sentence at work

[cryptidk8]

the warden is the video game protagonist of all time. like my blood is cursed. i can never go home. trauma and despair follow me around like a shadow. watch me save the world with all the enthusiasm of a walmart employee working on christmas eve

[cryptidk8]

i love "davy jones' locker" as a euphemism for death and the mythological nautical grim reaper figure of davy jones because it's the most regular Just Some Guy name ever. like other sea monsters of legend all have intimidating, powerful sounding names like leviathan, hydra, scylla and charybdis, the kraken, cthulhu, etc., and then there's the literal concept of death himself, whose name makes him sound like someone's very spoiled housecat.