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Liz: Agreed -- by far, beating around the bush is the most frustrating thing you could do. Too many people play games. But unfortunately, it's all talk, no action. Being direct prevents that. Why don't I just show you what I have to offer?

📷 Snapchat: Paul/

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"I really appreciate that. Likewise. I'm more of a listener than a talker when it comes to stuff like that, but I'll definitely let you know if I ever feel the pressing need to get something off my chest. Thank you."

Liz:

“I get that. I’m the same way. And I also get that you probably don’t want to talk about it, speaking from experience. But if you ever do get the sudden urge, I’m willing to listen, alright?”

“Yeah, well thank you and you as well. I’m pretty good at listening to others.”

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I suppose it makes sense. Honestly, if I were in his position, I probably wouldn't be too wild about it either. But that's just me, you know?

ctrl-liz:

Did he say why he wasn’t interested?

No he never did I don’t remember. I don’t think he was particularly happy with the whole thing. 

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Text: Ash

Ash: I didn't say that.

Liz: Then why do you feel like I wouldn't keep my promise?

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Text: Ash

Ash: Please don't make promises unless you know you can keep them.

Liz: You don't trust me to keep that promise to you?

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Text: Ash

Ash: I miss you too Liz.

Liz: I promise I won't be running away anymore. If I do, you have every right to rip into me.

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Text: Ash

Ash: Then why are you explaining yourself now?

Liz: Because being left to my own devices has terrorized me. I miss you. I hate what I've done.

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I was a slightly anxious child, but those nerves always went away when I was performing or onstage. I’ve actually become more nervous as I’ve gotten older. You’re pretty fearless when you’re young and have nothing to lose.

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Text: Ash

Ash: So because you're trying to hide your feelings for Ariana, you pushed ME away?

Liz: Yeah. I was afraid you'd ask about it, and that was a can of worms I didn't want to open. But the drinking -- that's all part of it, too. Explaining myself isn't really something I enjoy doing.

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Text: Ash

Ash: Guarding your feelings about what though babe?

Liz: For Ariana.

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Text: Ash

Ash: I get it. I do the same thing. I lost away people to keep myself from getting hurt.

Liz: It's stupid. You know? And all of this because I was guarding myself and my stupid fucking feelings, and then it blew up in my face.

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Someone you miss?

Ashley and Ariana -- I really don't need to get into details, but I managed to push 'em away, more than I've pushed others away.

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Text: Ash

Ash: Why are you so afraid though?

Liz: Trusting people is hard. I don't do vulnerable. And yet, that's where I found myself.

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honesty hour 👀 anon or not I have to answer

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Text: Ash

Ash: I'm listening

Liz: I guess I kind of...mentally imploded, if that makes any sense. I don't like admitting when I'm weak. But I was weak as fuck. I don't know. It was just too much seeing so many people I cared about hurting...because of me. I know you told me it wasn't my fault. But it was. I was driving everyone away just so I could protect myself. The walls are easier built up than knocked down. If given the option to confront my problems or run, I'd always choose to run. And I did. I regret all the damage I've done. It's stupid. I know I shouldn't be afraid, but I am. I'm afraid to trust, to love, to feel. So I just kind of...pushed everyone away. That's why I did everything that I did. I know it doesn't make sense, but at least I can admit it now, after some self-assessment.

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Proud is an understatement. Keep doing great things. I've been living life. You know, the usual. I figured you missed me. Who wouldn't? How're you doing, aside from having such a good time in the studio?

They always say time flies when you’re having fun, and I definitely have been having a good time. I am in the works with our new album, Last Young Renegade, that comes with our US summer tour. We also released our new song, Dirty Laundry, which I recommend taking a listen to. How’s everyone been? Missed some of you.