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I'm starting to get a lot of headaches again and I'm just hoping it's this stupid medication that I am currently weaning off because I'm not doing that again.

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I'm preparing to deliver my thesis "You Need a Snout Or You Just Look Like Bigfoot" to the International Movie Werewolf Association. I may die, but the truth must be spoken.

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speaking of peeing the bed it's been long enough that i can tell this story publicly. in high school i went to a party at some house with no adults, as you sometimes would, and at the end of the night like 10 people all clonked out together in the same bed. fully clothed, one of those teenage moments where you're like wow heehee how rule-breaking, because sure a lot of our parents wouldn't like us sleeping in a bed with a bunch of other teenagers and no adult supervision blah blah. fond memories. anyway.

i'm an extremely light sleeper, so i barely slept, and sometime around 6 am, i woke up to a girl totally panicking, very quietly, because she peed the bed in her sleep. and listen. this wasn't a group of mean kids by any measure. but there's no level of kindness or understanding in the world that will make peeing the bed when you're 17, surrounded by people you only sort of know, a gentle blow.

so i sat up and she was like "oh my god" and I signaled at her to be absolutely silent and I said I'd be right back. And I crawled over everyone and out of the bed like a stupid cat.

and the thing is, by senior year i wasn't getting bullied much anymore. i was generally pretty well liked by my peers, but, if this makes sense, people still didn't always expect very much from me. i was still figuring out how to mask (autistic) and i still often said or did something that made everyone remember i'm weird and they'd just be like "well. that's story for you. i guess." and for the most part i'd become pretty secure in that.

so what i'm saying is i had nothing to lose and this girl had everything to lose.

so i went downstairs and i made tomato soup. and by "made" i mean i put a whole can of tomato soup in a too-small mug and microwaved it until it was lukewarm so as to be convincingly "made" but not so hot to burn someone.

and then i walked back upstairs, and no longer like a cat, i clumsily "attempted" to crawl back into bed, loudly lost my balance, and spilled tomato soup all over the girl and her lap and several other people's laps and heads and the mattress.

everyone woke up confused and anguished and i was like, "oh my god, I'm so sorry. I just got really hungry and it's all i could find."

and everyone immediately accepted with absolutely no further questions that I would go downstairs, make tomato soup at 6 am,and bring it back to bed. everyone just begrudgingly climbed onto the floor and went back to sleep while I put the bedding right into the laundry.

i don't even know this girl's name. i only remembered this story recently because i'm in my hometown for a few months and recently a high school acquaintance said, "hey. do you remember spilling soup on everyone after prom? why did you do that?" and for a moment i genuinely did not and i stared at them completely dumbfounded while the memory loaded and then i started laughing too hard to answer for 2 minutes.

the best part is i can tell this story, and even if it reaches the people who were there, none of them will know which one of them peed the bed. thanks to tomato soup.

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ever since i was a little girl i’ve always known i’m a big fan of alone time

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so does anyone know or understand

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(backseating you at the mortar and pestle) man you aint even squarshing it

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Comet passing over village , spaghetti glyph

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Everyone clap for non consensual body modification everybody loves a character whose body has been altered against their will

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byron donalds gave his life to christ in a cracker barrel parking lot. now you too can learn what religion you can convert to in a fast food restaurant parking lot by spinning these handy links!

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friend just told me that he and his siblings used to play a game called "abraham lincoln and the slimy slug" wherein one person is abraham lincoln, with a full range of motion, and one person is a slimy slug inside a sleeping bag

and they would fight. and of course abraham lincoln would just beat the absolute shit out of the slimy slug

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working with little kids is so dangerous. you get one kid who has a unique way of speaking & then spend the rest of your life with an internal monologue like “me’s go bathroom?”

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its important to follow some accounts on here that post things that are completely above your pay grade. people with advanced esoteric educations or fields of study, people who have been hyperfixated on one really obscure historical subject for ten years etc. because you CAN gradually, through exposure alone, eventually brute force yourself a little smarter. ive done it many times. after a few months or years of silently reading their posts with total incomprehension you will suddenly understand just enough to start asking polite questions and then youre really on to something

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Whats up ladies i im several years behind

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Fic writers, put in the tags what the difference in hits is between your most and least viewed fics. Mine is 7,720 (7,779-59).