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haven’t drawn her in a while

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mission failed successfully

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excuse me!!

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I think Pairo was Kurapika's first love and well this is gonna be messy and long and I'm bad at wording myself so if you know you know 😑

I realized Kurapika's feelings for Pairo were also romantic in nature when I stopped to wonder why Pairo comes up twice in the main story. It's always Pairo he thinks of, and specifically one image of Pairo comes to his mind.

In both occasions I've wondered, how come he thinks of Pairo first? Why does he not think about his parents, and then about his friend, like one would expect an orphan to do? It's evident in chapter 0 that Kurapika's parents loved him more than anything. His mom was enthusiastic and proud of Kurapika taking the test that would grant him permission to leave the village, she was very supportive of him, both because she herself would've liked their community to be more open and was hopeful that Kurapika was the key to change, and like she herself said, more than anything else she was supportive of him traveling because it's what would have made her child happy. His dad, despite being less enthusiastic about Kurapika leaving, was simply worried about him, being well aware that unlike their village the world outside was filled with the same discrimination that had already multiple times in the past led to the Kurta constantly hiding from death and persecution. He accepted it nonetheless and fondly remarked that Kurapika was just like his wife. Their family was full of love, both parents loved their child and each other, so why does Kurapika seem to be the most impacted by Pairo's death to the point where he seems to always be the first one he thinks of when remembering what happened? I have absolutely no doubt that Kurapika loved his parents just as much as they loved him, and that their deaths devastated him, but he loved Pairo more. Kurapika has never mentioned his parents, ever. He did not hesitate a second when he had to choose somebody to accompany him to the city, as he would've rather failed his test with Pairo than pass it with anyone else.

"No matter the outcome, I won't regret it" says a LOT about how much he valued Pairo when knowing just how obsessed he was with getting permission to leave the village. This was dream.

Kurapika was very protective of Pairo, which shows multiple times throughout chapter 0, for example when Pairo dropped the little bottle and Kurapika immediately tried to pick it up for him knowing that he had trouble seeing, or when at the store he was worried about leaving Pairo alone, or when the men harassing Pairo made him lose his cool entirely and beat them to the point where they had to beg him for their lives.

This is the most ferociously angry we have ever seen Kurapika be. Right after being told the men had been paid by the Elder to rile the children up to test their patience and therefore their ability to keep their eyes from turning red in public (a crucial point to passing the test), his first concern is not having failed to do so, since his eyes did turn scarlet from rage, but it's whether they had been told to mock Pairo's disability, too, or if it was just something they came up with on the spot, which it was.

Kurapika's protectiveness over Pairo is mainly due to the accident that hurt Pairo but left Kurapika unscathed.

Kurapika felt guilty about it, so despite having always wished to travel and explore, his top priority was at the moment to just find a doctor who could help his best friend, and then immediately come back for him, and leave again together.

This is to me one of the most important pages of the chapter. Reading this reminded me of Killua and Gon, who actually did get to be together, and it reminded me of Killua secretly wishing he could always be by Gon's side, during CAA. This page in particular confirms to me that despite probably being totally unaware of it, like many gay children are, Kurapika was definitely in love with Pairo. Wishing to be with him forever, to do everything always together, to live out his dream with him, to literally spend his life together forever. That's a very romantic thought. Had Pairo been a girl, nobody would've ever doubted this. Kurapika earlier said that if he took the test with Pairo, he would have no regrets regardless of success or failure, and I think he 100% meant every word. On his way back, when still unaware that Pairo had switched the eye drops with his own medicine, when he was convinced he had failed the test, he was never bitter or resentful. He did not even think for a second to blame Pairo, he did not regret choosing Pairo to come with him. What fun would it have been without Pairo anyway, when Pairo was his favorite person ever? Kurapika mentioning his will to find a doctor who could help his best friend (subsequently also smoothing out his own guilt and making his own dream possible) also sets up the parallels and connections with Leorio, who on the opposite left to become the doctor that could've helped his own best friend, so there's that about this page.

Back to Pairo, this is specifically what Kurapika saw when turning around to look back one last time when leaving the village:

Pairo saying goodbye, after promising he'd pass the test too and asking him not to focus on finding a doctor for him but on having a fun journey instead. This is the last time Kurapika will ever see Pairo alive again before the slaughter. This is the last memory he has of his people prior to their deaths: Pairo wishing him a fun journey. No wonder this is the image that Kurapika remembers:

when having the very man who's responsible for it all chained, and still deciding to let him go in a hostage exchange to get Gon and Killua back, because despite being currently very literally throwing his life away for revenge, his biggest fear remains losing somebody he loves ever again, and when

he realizes that his quest for the scarlet eyes is almost over, since he found out who has the remaining ones. When remembering Pairo and his promise to him he wonders how he could even keep it now. In Kurapika's eyes, he has no home left. There is no point in any journey for him anymore. He went from wanting to travel the world with Pairo to wondering where he should even go, what to even do when what he thinks he has to do will be all be done. Kurapika loves Gon, Killua and Leorio very much, but he has yet to realize that they have the potential to be his new home and family, and you can't blame him for being traumatized to such a degree. As a child, Pairo was his everything, and he'd wanted nothing more than being with Pairo forever and traveling with him, and it all got taken away from them both in the most violent way possible. And I think that being a caring and sweet individual aside, this is also part of why Kurapika is so protective over Gon and Killua (and children in general), who are around the age Pairo was when he got murdered, and I think the older he gets, the more he gets to grow up and Pairo doesn't, the worst it must feel, to really see it from an adult point of view and understand that Pairo was really just a little child who got tortured and killed regardless. It really shows how worthless of a person every single Spider is. Pairo was a calm, humble, kind child, and Kurapika was cheerful, loud, stubborn and hot headed, and in a way they completed each other. Kurapika really did love Pairo very much and it's a shame that things went this way for both of them. I think Togashi showed us Pairo again right after telling us that Tserriednich has the remaining eyes on purpose, to remind us of who Pairo is and to set up something, because as it's implied later on Tserriednich is the one who's currently got his hands on Pairo's head, and I can only imagine how Kurapika will feel when he finds out. Anyway sorry this was so long im going crazy 💖

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Kurapika 🍷⛓️

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new seajay photo's via spotify!

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taski reposts

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routine printer maintenance is essential for your business~

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its a metaphor for the fact that we often choose temporary pleasures over the opportunity for true freedom... if you actually looked at the post u would know

bread tastes better than key 🤷‍♀️

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what bro 😭????

bread tastes better than key 🤷‍♀️

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im thinking about getting into crochet again… i have a lot of hibernating projects i should be getting done.

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it’s raining again… thinking about reading some manga with the window open for da natural rain sounds. maybe put some music softly playing over it. maybe i should listen to laufey instrumentals today

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call that art regression! (left is 2022 right is 2025)

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ena study and doodles on magma. and some enasquared messing with each other

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redrew em again this time in 2025 ✌️ how’d i do

side by sides

idk guys i think its just me but i think its obvious who i like drawing more