cuteacademyblog

[cuteacademyblog]

oakdown: i thought that now we have a better handle on the group as a whole i'd go back to that youtuber au from ages back????? but also i don't remember what we decided back then so

oakdown: if you disagree with any of these feel free to suggest your own bc i have no idea honestly i'm just so bored

oakdown: okay so i have ko down as one of those reaction channels but like. not the finebros style ones more like h3h3 who watch other people's videos and are just sort of generally snarky about them over top?? (for the record the dude on h3h3 is a complete piece of shit but) (that's beside the point and also kinda ic so)

oakdown: and then theta probably does that stupid challenge shit like a mixture of the crazy self-destructive labeast stuff and those youtube tags that are super popular for some reason. he's also definitely a drama starter

oakdown: drax runs a science channel which is basically just an excuse to build things and then blow them up. there's probably a lot of slow-mo

oakdown: i can see jelpax having a kind of nostalgia channel??? like the video ashens does sometimes but not necessarily focused on video games

oakdown: millennia is an adorable daily vlogger who films her life and drinks a lot of coffee and also rallon pops up in the background sometimes. it's good for the soul. everyone loves them

oakdown: mortimus is a fuckin prank goblin no doubt i mean i hate those channels but that's just the way it is

oakdown: ushas posts experiment clips not for other people to watch, but as a way to like store them???? and they're so bizarre without any context that she builds up a following of people that thing it's some kind of big arg

oakdown: and then magnus is probably some kind of chill ass gamer like idk northernlion or someone that just hangs out and chats while playing platformers

[cuteacademyblog]

oakdown: now that i think about it some more who slaps the label of 'smartest students' onto the deca in the first place?? was it the professors, the other students or the deca themselves??? bc i feel like the latter would receive some pushback from their peers

honeybee: ... i have no idea

honeybee: probably the deca themselves

honeybee: i mean i wouldn't doubt that they have some of the highest scores but most uber nerds don't like band together and make a gang over it

oakdown: there's probably one or two other kids with comparable scores that are all hey this means weget to be one of you guys right???? and they're just kinda hmmmm i mean we've already got this name it sort of??? jeez like it /means/ ten and we /have/ ten already so i guess what we're trying to say is........ no?

honeybee: HAHHAHAHA

honeybee: that poor kid

honeybee: that's so deca though

oakdown: nobody really likes vansell at all and he never contributes anything except negativity but they can't kick him out bc that would ruin the name man

honeybee: omfg

honeybee: ko and ushas and a couple of the others who care less consider replacing him with one of the other smart kids but what if they're Worse???

oakdown: yeah like vansell is annoying but at least they can more or less just pretend he doesn't exist most of the time

oakdown: they have a serious conversation after mortimus refuses to stop speaking in riddles for an entire week though

[cuteacademyblog]

honeybee: i especially like millennia bc i feel like all the other millennia rpers i've seen have just played her as this sweet naive girl but like

honeybee: she's a member of the deca

oakdown: uGH yes that annoys the hell out of me

oakdown: i've seen like?? two millennia blogs maybe at most this whole time and she's always this cliche shallow teenager that doesn't know anything about anything??? it's ridiculous

honeybee: i quite like the idea of a millennia who is only sweet when she's being a little manipulative piece of shit

oakdown: i like that as well tbh

oakdown: like she turns on the innocent charm and people who don't know her well get all condescending and smug while the deca are like oh shit someone's about to get wrecked

honeybee: omfg yeeessss i want it

honeybee: that's probably why rallon thinks she's immature

honeybee: he's like i know what you're doing stop batting your eyelashes at me

oakdown: yessssss

[cuteacademyblog]

oakdown: (also just gonna go ahead and put this out there but) (bi millennia though)

honeybee: Y E S

oakdown: YES??? YES

honeybee: for some reason that thought's never occured to me but i am all about it tbh

(there was some relationship chat in here that i've lost but magnus' one-sided crush on ushas came up)

oakdown: (i kind of dig the idea of millennia having a wee crush on ushas too) (and her and magnus bonding over both being into someone who's more interested in creating giant rat hybrids than dating)

[cuteacademyblog]

oakdown: oh alSO it's apparently canon that drax has a weird unintelligble quote unquote 'lower class' accent and i'm sorry but that means he's glaswegian from now on

oakdown: i don't make the rules

honeybee: yaasssss

oakdown: 'happnin big man gonnae gies a hawn wi this'

honeybee: i have no idea what that says

oakdown: it roughly translates to 'good afternoon my friend could you please lend me some assistance with this'

oakdown: now you know what ko feels like

honeybee: oh my god really

oakdown: i'm maybe gonna tone it down a little if i ever go back to the drax blog tbh for the sake of anyone bothering to reply to me ever

oakdown: it's actually canon apparently that all the oldblood houses have that same kind of dialect so now the question is which of them are having their own untranslatable slang filled conversations while the rest just stand there like?????? someone teach these idiots to speak???

honeybee: i love this

honeybee: ko is a newblood and thete is oldblood so i love the idea of him and drax talking and ko just being like what the Fuck

oakdown: oh my god yES hang on i'm double checking the ones we know from canon

oakdown: okay there's pretty much no other info on the rest of them so we're free to hc away except........

oakdown: [screenshot of my stupid notes on ushas with 'not from a newblood house' bolded]

oakdown: i actually kind of love the idea of her teaching herself to speak like a newblood and ko constantly grumbling at her to translate for him

honeybee: that's beautiful i love oldblood ushas trying to Not be an oldblood

oakdown: if you catch her in the right mood or she's had enough to drink she slips straight back into it

honeybee: that's beautiful

honeybee: i feel like ko would take advantage of that just bc it's funny to hear her talk that way and he's a dick

oakdown: for sure you know he's filming the whole thing on his phone like a complete arse

honeybee: omg poor ushas

honeybee: that's okay she'll super subtly threaten to put something awful in his drink next time and he just as subtly deletes the video and they smile at each other like nothing is wrong

oakdown: i love their stupid mutual respect based not-quite friendship tbh

[continued like a few days later]

honeybee: okay so we know ko is newblood and ushas and theta are oldbloods is anyone else canon?

oakdown: nobody else is proper canon i don't think??? but drax is like 100% the most oldblood anyway so i think we can basically count him in

honeybee: oh yeah drax is definitely oldblood

oakdown: the rest are pretty up in the air but i feel like vansell is probably newblood???

honeybee: i agree

honeybee: i've been debating millennia all day

honeybee: like i feel like whatever she is she wishes she were the opposite

oakdown: maybe that's a thing

oakdown: like she flipflops between the two dialects so often that unless you know what house she's from nobody can tell

honeybee: that's beautiful tbh i support this

[cuteacademyblog]

oakdown: (for the record i've also been inspired to hc drinking habits so) (if you have any thoughts i'm open)

honeybee: OH MY GOD YES PLEASE

oakdown: I STARTED WATCHING INTERSTELLAR AND FORGOT BUT I'LL DO IT TODAY

oakdown: also i cheated and used the 'different types of drunks' tumblr post as a template bc honestly it's too good

oakdown: there's only 6 options so i have theta, drax and magnus down as the party drunk (will talk to anyone and everyone, only does shots, has to literally be dragged home at the end of the night because they refuse to acknowledge that the party has ended and they're the only person still there)

oakdown: millennia as the blissful drunk (does nothing but laugh, just happy to be included, too good for this world, loves you so much even though they just met you four minutes ago, probably also does acid)

oakdown: jelpax as the emotional drunk (not great at parties, is either crying tears of sorrow bc there's no chips left or crying tears of gratitude bc someone showed them where the bathroom is, brings out everyone's inner mother)

oakdown: rallon is the parent drunk bc he's the most responsible but millennia's probably a little bit of this too (keeps everyone's shit together, everyone thinks they're sober but they've actually had 5 shots in an hour, knows when you need to go home and will make sure you get there, holds back your hair when you're vomiting at 3am)

oakdown: koschei and ushas on the rare occasion she drinks as the slutty drunk (never gets cold, makeup never smudges, never has to buy their own drinks, you think they're sloppy and have no idea what they're doing but every move is calculated and intentional)

oakdown: mortimus as the sloppy drunk which i personally connect with (wasted by 10pm, needs to be taken home early, will drink anything you give them as long as there's alcohol in it, a Mess, never learns from their mistakes) and now that i think about it drax is a little this one too

oakdown: and vansell is the grumpy designated driver sipping his coke in the corner and wishing he had less embarassing friends

oakdown: this was a lot of words

honeybee: THIS IS THE BEST THING TO EVER HAPPEN WE NEED MORE DECA PARTIES BC I NEED KOSCHEI AS THE SLUTTY DRUNK

honeybee: THEY'RE ALL SO PERFECT AIMEE

oakdown: there's also a specific card in ring of fire where you can't stop drinking until the person next to you does

oakdown: and every single game there's that one pos that chugs their entire glass

oakdown: 100% that's mortimus

[cuteacademyblog]

oakdown: question though: out of drax and theta which one of them is most likely to climb a tree with a strobe light and accidentally trigger an owl attack

honeybee: oh my god i really don't know

honeybee: either one??

honeybee: i've spent like ten minutes thinking about it and i just don't know i'm sorry

oakdown: i was struggling with it too tbh

oakdown: but on further consideration i feel like maybe it's a joint venture??? like drax stands at the bottom of the tree to keep watch and is promptly landed on by a screaming theta when the owls decide they don't like it

oakdown: not entirely sure why they'd be doing it in the first place but lbh it's probably in the name of science

[cuteacademyblog]

honeybee: so i decided that human au ko would be team iron man and then was like what the fuck am i doing with my life

honeybee: what about drax/red?

oakdown: wait which one wants what again

oakdown: drax is team 'fuck the government' so whichever side's ideology most closely matches that

honeybee: tbh i have no idea

honeybee: i've heard it's one of those neither side is wrong things so there's no wrong answer

honeybee: ko just likes the people on iron man's side

oakdown: okay there's a conundrum then bc spiderman is on iron man's side and you know drax's feelings about him are well established but also he's the one fighting for more regulation so

oakdown: i bet he would stress over this way too much and bug the shit out of everyone with 3am texts like 'hey do you think maybe spiderman's a rogue agent or something that could happen right'

honeybee: OH MY GOD PLEASE YES

honeybee: I LOVE THIS

honeybee: ko is team iron man, theta is probably team cap and drax has made a group text with them having an identity crisis between i have spiderman sheets on my bed and fuck the government

oakdown: i just did like a full on belly laugh holy shit the sheets

oakdown: after the movie comes out he writes a huge stack of au fix it fanfiction with spiderman on cap's side and forces everyone to act as though it's canon

oakdown: (on that note he's also totally a shipper) (#spiderman/antman4lyf)

honeybee: omfg i love drax he's so underrated

oakdown: honestly we've made up like 99% of the info about him bc canon is very limited but i'm still mad that nobody seems to love him as much as us

[cuteacademyblog]

honeybee: i like how the entire fandom just decided millennia would be adorable

oakdown: tbf now that i've looked back at my notes (and i can't believe i have more fucking notes for this nonsense than i do for actual coursework but there you are) she is canonically described as being immature and 'of a gentle nature' so

honeybee: omg she's immature

oakdown: apparently that's what stops her and rallon from being a thing for a while but before the book they're in there's a whole wedding planned so i guess he got over it

oakdown: also her house is apparently known for its wealth and power rather than its intelligence and i love the idea of her using that somehow??? like obviously she's smarter than average if she's part of the deca but nobody ever considers that and just assumes she's a bit dim

honeybee: yes gooooood

honeybee: i'm a little annoyed that they picked one of the few female deca members to be from the kind of not smart house

oakdown: i hadn't thought of that :// most of them don't actually seem to have established houses??? like i think it's just her, theta, ko and rallon and the rest are anyone's guess

oakdown: (which could be a fun thing to fix at some point actually)

[cuteacademyblog]

oakdown. okay!!! alright so these are basic af but i've got ko as a very smart, upmarket, snazzy all-black kind of guy like this kind of shit basically   oakdown. theta dresses like he can't see what he's putting on, total fashion disaster, consistently steals other people's clothes when he can't find any of his own that are clean enough to get away with honeybee. ugh yyeeessss honeybee. i love the thought of them together honeybee. snazzy classy guy and walking fashion disaster oakdown. drax couldn't care less what he looks like to be honest so it comes out sort of mismatched sometimes but he definitely rocks the more laidback hipster look, like this sort of thing except he doesn't pull it off nearly as well honeybee. i feel like drax would be a somtimes looks homeless kind of guy oakdown. yes oh my god exactly oakdown. i can totally see him with a shitty unkempt beard that drives ko up the wall at some point too oakdown. jelpax is a total bookworm apparently so he's got the whole nerd chic thing going on with big thick framed glasses and patterned button-up shirts oakdown. magnus as that one arrogant asshole you see at every single music festival with his muscle shirts and shorts and shades like the dude in the middle here basically honeybee. oh my god that one gives me life honeybee. perfect oakdown. millennia's look is very bright and eclectic, super cutesy honeybee. i love millennia she's so cute oakdown. she's probably the one with the least actual canon info but i love her anyway she's adorable oakdown. mortimus on the other hand is very much a chill out hoodie and jeans kind of guy nothing too complicated   oakdown. ushas i can see being art student af you know what i mean by that right like there's just an art student look oakdown. rallon and vansell have me stumped tbh but the latter is supposed to be a stuffy pos so if nothing else he definitely wears old man jumpers and not in a cute way oakdown. i spent way too much time on this honeybee. i'm not sure about rallon but vansell might also be a stuffy white button up kind of guy if you know what i mean oakdown. he's probably one of those people that's overdressed for everything tbh like he wears an actual shirt and tie to go pick up the shopping

[cuteacademyblog]

oakdown: ko ends up getting a shitty job teaching maths and computer science to children before he leaves the planet and hates every second of it

honeybee: AHHHH KOSCHEI TEACHING IS HILARIOUS AND AWFUL HE'D BE SUCH A DICK TEACHER

oakdown: HE'D HAVE EXACTLY ZERO PATIENCE

oakdown: LIKE THE KIDS AREN'T EVEN OUT OF TIME LORD PRIMARY YET AND HE'S LIKE WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND THIS SUPER ADVANCED SCIENTIFIC THEORY?? LIKE IT'S HARD OR SOMETHING???

honeybee: omg everyone would hate him

honeybee: even the other teachers

oakdown: he'd be that one asshole that sits away from anyone else in the staff room and glares into a cup of coffee instead of socialising

[cuteacademyblog]

oakdown: okay so drax maybe kind of has a son?? which is a hilarious if horrifying idea

honeybee: drax having a child is amazing

honeybee: can you imagine a tiny drax running around

oakdown: even better he's apparently inherited his father's anti-government leanings

oakdown: so now i'm just imagining a tiny drax going 'fuck the cia' and drax's eyes watering up in pride

honeybee: OH MY GOD THAT'S THE BEST THING I'VE EVER HEARD

oakdown: I LOVE LITTLE REBEL DRAX JR ALREADY EVEN IF I KIND OF THINK THE WHOLE THING WOULD BE A DISASTER

honeybee: i know like drax isn't responsible enough for himself let alone a small person

[cuteacademyblog]

honeybee. so i decided that human au ko would be team iron man and then was like what the fuck am i doing with my life honeybee. what about drax/red oakdown. wait which one wants what again oakdown. drax is team ‘fuck the government’ so whichever side’s ideology most closely matches that honeybee. tbh i have no idea i’ve heard it’s one of those neither side wrong things so there’s like no wrong answer honeybee. ko just likes the people on iron man’s side oakdown. okay there's a conundrum then bc spiderman is on iron man's side and you know drax's feelings about him are well established but also he's the one fighting for more   regulation so :u I bet he would stress over this way too much and bug the shit out of everyone with 3am texts like 'hey do you think maybe spiderman's a rogue agent or something that could happen right'  honeybee. OH MY GOD PLEASE YES honeybee. I LOVE THIS honeybee. ko is team iron man theta is probably team cap and drax has made a group text with them having an identity crisis between ‘i have spiderman sheets on my bed’ and ‘fuck the government’ oakdown. i just did a full on belly laugh holy shit the sheets oakdown. after the movie comes out he writes a huge stack of au fix it fanfiction with spiderman on cap’s side and forces everyone to act as though it’s canon

[cuteacademyblog]

oakdown. (ot3 haunted house screenshot) also did we already do this??? because if not i'm getting on it after work for sure honeybee. oh my god i don't think so. except maybe through those pictures of the people doing a really scary haunted house honeybee. (haunted house picture links) oakdown. okay so theta is at the front going into the haunted house obviously bc it's an adventure and as far as he's concerned he knows best like he isn't very big but he does have Natural Leadership Qualities oakdown. koschei in the middle so he can catch theta if he passes out (and lbr the middle is scientifically the safest place to be in case of attack) oakdown. drax up the back bc he's kind of uncertain that this is a good idea??? like at all??? but he's hardly going to leave the other two on their own so oakdown.  koschei is 800% the one that acts like its gonna be no big deal and then loses his shit when one of the others brushes his hand for real oakdown.  drax ends up being the one that starts off scared and then surprisingly keeps his cool like the second koschei starts freaking out theta is right there with him and drax is????? guys wtf it's just teenagers in costumes oakdown.  theta is the one narrating everything in a deep voice up until he can't anymore and then drax takes over because he's a good friend like that oakdown.  and theta's the one to lose a shoe as he runs out but only because he's wearing something hysterically impractical like flip flops maybe or crocs honeybee. oh my fucking god that's the most beautiful thing i've ever heard honeybee. wait but theta narrating in a deep voice that suddenly becomes REALLY HIGH when he gets scared oakdown.  yES OH MY GOD PERFECT honeybee. which makes koschei laugh but it's like. a terrified laugh oakdown.  one of the actors stops what they're doing, pulls up their mask and gestures to drax like your friends are they???? are they okay???? honeybee. drax just nods and gives them a thumbs up like his friends aren't crying a little bit and clinging to each other

[cuteacademyblog]

oakdown. okay i should definitely be paying attention to this homeostasis lecture bUT nativity season in the primary school au though oakdown. ko as joseph which he's super smug about because not only is that a top tier role but he gets to wear a '''cool''' fake beard oakdown. theta trying to convince their poor put upon teacher to let him be the baby jesus but failing and ultimately ending up reaching a compromise as the virgin mary which doesn't come with a beard but is still a very premium part thanks very much and the weird dress thing really brings out his eyes oakdown. drax and jelpax in the two-man donkey suit because neither can learn lines and the school would rather they just weren't visible if at all possible (they flipped a coin and drax lost so he's the butt) oakdown. ushas gets begrudgingly cast as an angel but funnily enough doesn't show to any of the rehearsals or show night honeybee. I'M CRYING DRAX IS THE BUTT honeybee. oh my god ushas what do they do?? just not have an angel?? theta probably tried to like throw his voice up to the top of the manger but he can't actually. do that at all so the audience is just like why is mary screaming the angels lines?? oakdown. in our production we had like ten angels and all we did was kneel on the floor and shake one of those bell sticks??? so it's probably not a massive loss but yES OH MY GOD honeybee. ohhhh. i'm p sure our angel had lines. and they had to get on top of the manger oakdown. i like the way your version works with this scenario better so we'll go with that honeybee. i just love the idea of theta half screaming the lines oakdown. the parents assume it's like some weird avant garde art statement and he looks so pleased at the end nobody wants to say anything honeybee. oh my god. the other kids are like equal parts proud and horrified. but no one can tell bc they all look terrified to be on stage in the first place oakdown. he forgets one of the lines and the donkey's butt (which has been laughing???? maybe it's part of the statement) kindly reminds him. he screams that one with extra gusto to make up for it honeybee. oh my god. whatever teacher arranged the play is sobbing in the first row oakdown. tearing up his folder of scripts and just weeping. this one child has ruined his entire career

[cuteacademyblog]

oakdown. (screenshot of a facebook post - the picture is of a dog in a tank made of cardboard boxes with the caption ‘here’s me thinking my hubby was helping me with the packing...... all the time he was building a tank for the dog!’) oakdown. drax probably oakdown. except it would actually move and maybe also shoot?? nothing particularly harmful obviously but a danger to the house nonetheless honeybee. HAHAHAHA imagine ko and theta getting ready to move and the kid and drax have been packing up the kids room and ko walks in like alright let's load it up in the van and they're both like deer in the headlights as they crash into the wall in a cardboard tank oakdown. omfg why would you ever give him that much responsibility though like they both need constant supervision honeybee. i know ko's like in hindsight this was an awful idea. theta was probably like they'll be fiiiiiine

[cuteacademyblog]

oakdown. oh my gOD THAT SECOND ONE THOUGH oakdown. you know he annoys everyone with links to vines and cat videos oakdown. like that's his only contribution to the hypothetical group chat ever honeybee. omfg i love it. and its all sent at like 4am when everyone else is trying to sleep oakdown. oh my god yes <3 they're trying to get in touch with him all day to ask him something important and it's just radio silence until he sends half a million pictures of cats with hats on in the middle of the night honeybee. i've never heard anything more drax than that