cyanide-static

[cyanide-static]

Those who know me, know I have an absolute passion for photography. I used my shots I took in Japan and turned them into something else.

[cyanide-static]

https://www.gofundme.com/beating-cystic-fibrosis

[cyanide-static]

Your art is beautiful, and so are you 💚

Thankyou so much

[cyanide-static]

My name  is Dallian Macadam, I'm 26 years old and living with the chronic/terminal illness, Cystic Fibrosis (CF). CF is a genetic illness that greatly affects both the lungs and the pancreas. Thick mucus constantly builds up in the lungs making it incredibly hard to breathe and the pancreas is unable to process fat properly, leading to difficulties gaining and maintaining a healthy weight. A vast majority of patients with CF end up on waiting lists for new lungs, and in wheelchairs due to breathlessness. Today, the average lifespan for a person with Cystic Fibrosis is around 40 years old. knowing this does a number on me mentally, as I have officially lived half my life already. Another reoccurring obstacle I face is hospital admissions. Most hospital admissions go for around 2 weeks for a full course of IV antibiotics and while one stay isn't too bad, I have around 4 to 5 stays a year which is up 10 weeks in hospital per yea. Due to this -  along with the unpredictable nature of my disease - it has rendered me unemployable, as I would need too much time off at short notice. Being unemployed has impacted me in more ways than one. My one goal from as young as I can remember, has been to see the world and its many cultures. I developed an eye for photography and have been wanting to capture as many places as I can before my lungs give way and render me incapable of travelling. However, without a job, my dream of seeing the world and becoming a travel photographer almost unreachable. I say almost, because that is where you come in. I'm hoping to raise funds so that I may travel and tick places off my bucket list before I am no longer able to do so. I want to be able to take beautiful photos from around the world so that when my illness gets the best of me, people will have something to remember me by, something they can cherish forever. There are so many places I want to see and I'm hoping you can help me on my journey to fulfilling my dream while my lungs will still hold breath.

And just like each breath, every little donation or share counts.

Thankyou so much for reading my story and I hope to get your support in any way I can. https://www.gofundme.com/beating-cystic-fibrosis

https://www.gofundme.com/beating-cystic-fibrosis

[cyanide-static]

https://www.gofundme.com/beating-cystic-fibrosis

[cyanide-static]

Danbo exploring the neon drenched streets of Tokyo

[cyanide-static]

Danbo exploring the neon drenched streets of Tokyo

[cyanide-static]

Magic exists all around us, you just have to open your eyes, see the world with brand new eyes.

[cyanide-static]

~polaroids & sunsets~

[cyanide-static]

~untouched elegance~

[cyanide-static]

~On frail wings~

[cyanide-static]

Almost 8 years apart and so much has changed. Some people are built for storms, others are moulded by them, I'm the latter, for the lessons I've learned, the people I've met, the struggles I've endured, the roads I've walked and the people I love, I will never forget, because they have all made me what I am today and no matter how many roads I walk, no matter how far I wander, I will never forget where I first started, even in the eye of the storm.

[cyanide-static]

~Under a purple sky~

[cyanide-static]

Bayside Palms

[cyanide-static]

~Steel tracks and rocky roads~

[cyanide-static]

Midnight Blue

[cyanide-static]

Truth is I don't feel like I belong here anymore, I don't feel like myself, I don't feel like I'm ever going to amount to anything and I quite often feel like the fire that once burned so deeply in my heart is now nothing but smouldering embers, a memory of what once was. I try so hard for those I love and for those who love me, I hate leaning on them though because it only makes me feel like more of a burden and I hate the way it makes them feel. I feel like I'm heading down a darkened highway towards an unknown destination and that I missed the turn off a while back. I try so hard, I try so fucking hard to get better but it's always there, it always has been and I just want to get better, I wish I didn't feel so broken and lost, I wish I didn't feel like I was running out of time with each breath I take and I wish I could talk to people about such matters without me feeling terrible knowing the fact it hurts them to know I'm in pain. Life isn't perfect and I understand that, we all walk our own paths and they all come with challenges, I too understand that, I understand that I will probably never actually feel perfect either and that too is fine, because all I want, is to just feel fine. I'm trying so damn hard, I can't find any work yet I have qualifications, if I'm not constantly getting sick, I'm constantly avoiding getting sick which takes a toll on my social life and then there's my mental health that gets worse and worse as I get more and more sick. I'll keep on keeping on, I just wish things would get better because I'm trying so hard yet I'm getting nowhere.