cyberhonk

[cyberhonk]

"y'all's" is the best regional solution to the english second person plural possessive problem but "your guyses" is my favorite because it sucks

[cyberhonk]

deltarune chapter 7 theory (real)

[cyberhonk]

So I've got this friend whose nervous because she's trans and dating this guy who she hasn't told yet because they've only been on a two dates. For this story let's call the friend Jane and the guy she was dating Jason. Happy ending don't worry. So I tell Jane to bring her boy over to a bbq I'm having and she can tell him she's trans at my place surrounded by queer and trans people who love her and will support her if he ends up being awful. She waits till the end of the bbq to tell him the news, by which point the rest of us have learned that Jason is a kind, friendly, empathetic, hard working, dummy. So we sit down, all of us a little worried about this gym bro's reaction when she tells him she's trans, and that she understands if he doesn't want to keep dating her it's no big deal. He's baffled, so we explain what trans is, and after the disclosure that she hasn't had bottom surgery yet... "Oh you have a dick?" "... yeah." He look's around at the room full of people with baited breath, his clearly a little afraid girl friend says "Oooohhhh! I get it! You think- don't worry Babe! Watch this!"

And ya'll this man jumps up, runs into the kitchen and returns with one of the bratwurst we had for grilling and proceeds to tilt his head back, put it down his throat, hold it in his mouth for a moment, and spit it up without even a whisper of a gag and then looks around at the group absolutely beaming with pride. My mans saw his worried girlfriend and her support network and thought to him self "Oh they don't think I can please my girl but I'll show them!"

[cyberhonk]

When the 3 dollar game on steam you want is 25% off instead of 90% off

[cyberhonk]

he definitely fucks but there’s no way he fucks normal

[cyberhonk]

Pokemon headcanon that once Absol are studied and people realize they prevent disasters instead of causing them, particularly dangerous workplaces get themselves a workplace Absol and it also decreases accidents.

Construction sites and fishing ships and factories will have one that pretty much just lazes about until it just gets up howling one day and knocks a dude down. They almost never figure out what would have happened but they're always like "yes absol thank you absol I am so grateful to be on the floor right now. Can I offer you a treat in this trying time"

[cyberhonk]

lets hope the next male epidemic is "washing hands after using the bathroom"

[cyberhonk]

I hope Hank doesn’t find out about my meth business lmao

[cyberhonk]

i will raise my children traditionally

the oldest will have a ruinous military career and develop a tendency to recklessness, alcoholism and anger management issues the middle one will be a brilliant student with strong atheist inclinations and casual demonic hallucinations the youngest will be an angel prone to hysteria turned tsaricide by circumstances

[cyberhonk]

VIBE CHECK *gently presses our foreheads together*

[cyberhonk]

If you dont fuck with lancer i dont fuck with you. Hes literally a baby what did he do to you. Die

[cyberhonk]

self-indulgent transfem gabe

[cyberhonk]

where’s that article by james frankie thomas where he says like “prior to my transition there was only one kind of sex i wanted to have. and i thought i could never have it” because i am about to blow these people’s minds

[cyberhonk]

[cyberhonk]

"why are tech companies always changing the UI for no reason" you have no idea how much of tech is about looking busy to keep the higher ups happy

[cyberhonk]

As fucked up and traumatized and emotionally unavailable as my father was… he fuckin tried. He tried so goddamn hard. Went to PARENTING CLASSES on HIS OWN. Taught himself HOW TO READ so he could read me bedtime stories. He taught me how to be independent. How to stand up for myself. How to fight back. He taught me how to not need men like him.