cyn-the-bartender

[cyn-the-bartender]

Is there anything better???? I think I could eat this daily til I die… and if there’s a heaven I know it’s there too!!!!

[cyn-the-bartender]

Yassss… guilty AF! Apologies in advance to my kids who already think I’m painfully uncool 🤣🤣🤣

[cyn-the-bartender]

Guilty AF 🤣🤣🤣

[cyn-the-bartender]

Wednesday Day: 24

Well I’m happy to report that I woke up feeling almost 100% today. Only thing that’s still lingering is an upset stomach? But that could be lack of eating, a little dehydration or god knows what? So I added a little extra ginger in my green smoothie just now!

Back to work tomorrow and I’m stoked! Not only because I’ve missed it but ummm bills are piling and no sick time for the week I was off!

Plus I’m stoked to hit the gym tomorrow too! I’m feeling up to it today but it’s my final day of quarantine so no go!

So weirdly the ghost guy texted me today like it hasn’t been a week since we last “spoke”… like wtf?!?!?

I expected this shit in my 20/30s… even my 40s… but he’s 55 (does NOT look it at all) !!! It’s a fucking text buddy… make time! Women are not that complicated… well most aren’t at least… don’t ghost us and just a random hello or Good Morning does wonders!

And it sucks because as I’ve written before the actual date part of the first day was perfection… I was really liking him… just so fucking awkward after ugh!

Why do I bother???

He went on to mentioning about how he can’t wait to see me again (insert some sexual references) and asked me to send a “sexy pic” (I did not).

It’s like time stood still in his world. This weekend will make two weeks since our date and this is the second text I’ve received??!! I feel like todays exchange (if truthful) should’ve happened as a first after date text… am I wrong???

I’m confused… oh so confused!

I shouldn’t even engage… but I did and actually was flirting back!!??

Have I learned nothing at almost 52???

Am I desperate?

I mean I feel like I’m not as I went so long purposely not dating… but something is definitely wrong with me to even entertain the flirting and not calling him out… he didn’t even know I had Covid and it’s been a week.

But in the next mindset I get that at our age and after being single long enough we get set in our ways and just sometimes are ignorant to etiquette… I’ve unknowingly been seemingly rude without meaning to.

I honestly can’t make speculations if I don’t ask him outright.

Lord knows I’m the queen of overthinking!!!

Truth is… I got bigger things to obsess over and over analyze!

~C~

[cyn-the-bartender]

❤️❤️❤️❤️

[cyn-the-bartender]

Attacked!!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣

[cyn-the-bartender]

Over 50 is even worse!!! 🤣🤣🤣

[cyn-the-bartender]

Yasssssss ❤️❤️❤️❤️

[cyn-the-bartender]

Seems legit… 🤣🤣

[cyn-the-bartender]

Wow, yes THIS! 🙌🏻

[cyn-the-bartender]

Trying like hell!!!

[cyn-the-bartender]

Words to live by!!!

[cyn-the-bartender]

Food prep… busy week ahead with getting back to work, Covid recovery and snowmaggedon predicted for Friday night into Saturday… Air Fried sweet potato fries and panko battered eggplant! YUM!

[cyn-the-bartender]

Tuesday Day: 22

Damn it’s been a week!

A week since I wrote and almost a week since I tested positive for Covid!

Yup it got me… even fully vaccinated!

But in my profession and with EVERYONE seemingly sick lately it’s a miracle it didn’t happen before!

I haven’t had typical symptoms other than fatigue, body aches, a blaring headache and loss of appetite. That last about two full days and a wimpier verdin a third day. Today is the first day I’m feeling good again!

Good enough to have eaten breakfast AND lunch and do some much needed neglected stuff around the house!

I swear I lived on green smoothies and protein shakes for at least four days!

I’m outta work til Thursday and I’ve learned several of our regulars along with two other bartenders are positive as well. I know I’m not the superspreader as at least two other people who frequent there had it before me but I’m sure I didn’t help the situation as I really started feeling crappy two days before I tested positive.

Sadly this is the world we live in now… you go out and you’re at risk!

Thankfully the owners took a day to have the bar deep cleaned and everyone is quarantining so no one else gets sick!

So with all that going on my diet and such have been off. I was actually craving meat and cheese so bad the other day that if I wasn’t quarantined and on a strict NO DOORDASH policy for the next month or so I would’ve caved like a MoFo!

DoorDash is my weakness… I order out way more than I should so I had to shut that shit down even all the local vegan goodness!

One thing that having Covid did bring to light and make a very harsh reality is not having sick time. I lost a week of pay and there’s nothing I can do about it!

But it has me wondering at age 52, how much longer can I swing this?

Especially with my “health conditions”??!!

Which is HEARTBREAKING because I LOVE what I do… but I have to be realistic.

Not to mention I pay for health benefits, no 401k (I turned what I had into an IRA but still), no life insurance god forbid something happened to me… etc etc!

Then ironically I was contacted by my former employer in finance that I left in November 2019 to bartend full time. They want me back and made me a preliminary offer that’s really insanely good.

And the best part… it’s WORK FROM HOME!!!

It was strictly office in a depressing cubicle which I LOATHED and part of the reason I left… it literally took a toll heavily on my Lyme! The last six months I was there I was in a perpetual Lyme flare up to the point I actually was on FMLA in fear of being fired!

I begged our VP to start some sort of work from home option but he wouldn’t budge…

Then Covid and Lockdown happened and low and behold they figured out that yes, our job can be done remotely and even better than in person with less absenteeism and better performances!!!

So I tweaked my dormant resume and emailed it to my old boss who will set me up with a remote interview and we’ll go from there. If the perks aren’t good I can always say no and I will keep at least one bar shift even if I do ultimately take the job back.

It has its pros and cons of course… but I’m hoping the pros outweigh the cons and maybe this is the path I need to be on. Definitely would help in regards to limiting or quitting drinking!!!

So moving on…

Remember when I thought I was being ghosted but then got the random text… welp, haven’t heard from him since other than him still liking everything I post on Facebook.

Like what the fuck??!!

Honestly I’m not heartbroken just a little confused… as I’m the one who got shafted in the sex department that night… if anyone should be ghosting it should be me!!!

But live and learn.

So what do I go and do… I rejoin Tinder after two years of course! Because I had such positive and uplifting experiences on there the other three times I join and ultimately deleted the app… 🙄😒😑😵‍💫

I’ve matched and chatted with a couple guys… nothing super promising other than one guy who’s of course not super local but travels here twice a week for work. Which of course equates to dinner and fucking twice a week. Which if I’m honest I’m not totally against but deep down shouldn’t I want more??!!

I’m so fucked…

If there’s an unavailable guy with a billion red flags I’m alllllllll about it!!!

But that’s life as I know it… I’m actually looking forward to going back to work on Thursday… I’ve missed my motley crew and bar!

~C~

[cyn-the-bartender]

🤣🤣🤣🤣

[cyn-the-bartender]

Fuck yeah!!! ❤️❤️🎯🎯🙌🏻🙌🏻💯💯

[cyn-the-bartender]

What’s cooking today? This ought to keep me well fed for a week!!!

🤤🤤🤤🤤