dadmusings

[dadmusings]

Answers!

We got the results......The baby is healthy!

And......

We are having a BOY!!!!!

We can finally celebrate, breathe easier, and tell those close to us we are expecting. It’s only been 16 weeks......

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Amniocentesis

The best hospital in our area won’t even have a Zoom call session for a month! Let alone actually book my wife in for the procedure.

Again my wife is inconsolable. She is at a breaking point. I’m terrified for her mental health right now. With her hormones all over the map due to the pregnancy, this stress is putting her to a point of no return.

I again had to push our OB to get involved.....to do something. His office calls all the local hospitals, and gets us booked in two days later for a call with a Genetic Councillor.

Finally some forward movement. We need answers.

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OB Issue

I lost it on our OB. He basically just shrugged off our issue and had no suggestions. My wife was inconsolably sobbing on the phone with him. So I stepped in. This man is the expert, he is who we turn to when we have issues or difficulties. I can understand that the NIPT test failures are outside of his capabilities, but he should offer us help for a next step. Nothing.....

After me going off on him, he finally provides help. Amniocentesis is next up.

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Absence

So it’s been a hard month. Two NIPT tests came back inconclusive. My wife’s OB basically just shrugged his shoulders and said, “I don’t know what to tell you. This just doesn’t happen.”

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Genetic Testing

So we got some worrying news. We had genetic testing done and it came back elevated possibility our newborn has down syndrome. My wife’s family has a history of down syndrome. 

More testing was done to confirm. It could be a false positive. See what comes.

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Planning the next few months

Well since I am not the one carrying the baby to term, I am already finding I need to do everything else I can to get us ready for its arrival. Construction plans for the nursery (old house needing new insulation and floors) have been always on my mind.

Is this normal? To be this obsessive? Drafting plans, sourcing materials, budgeting, working out timelines to completion.....I just can’t help it.

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First Appointment

So our first appointment went great. We could see the baby on the ultrasound, as well as its heartbeat. We are 10 weeks into this journey, but both my wife and I, while excited, do not seem to be in a fawning state. Neither of us got emotional at all when we saw the ultrasound. Don’t get me wrong, we are both thrilled. But I’ve heard a lot of mom-to-be’s and some dad-to-bes get emotional during these moments

Hope this isn’t a foreshadowing of things to come with respect to how we feel about our baby.

209 days to go......

[dadmusings]

The First Appointment

Tomorrow is the first appointment with the OB. My wife and I are nervous and excited. I really have no idea what to expect. She asked me to come up with some questions to ask the Dr, but I really don’t know where to begin.

Everything I’ve read online provides such a wide spectrum of questions. Some seem pretty logical and pointless to ask. Others seem like you don’t trust that a OB, who has delivered hundreds, or thousands of babies, has years of training and even more in experience, really needs me to question if they know what the hell they are doing. Like I am some sort of expert.

Honestly, I just want the baby to be healthy and they can help point me in a good direction to properly support my wife as she grows a human. :)

[dadmusings]

Don’t be your parents....

You always hear people saying you become your parents when...you become a parent. Not sure how I feel about that. While I know my parents love me, and they did their best, looking back, there are a lot of things I would do differently. I want to allow my child (or children) to be.....children. I was raise that kids are to be seen and not heard. Add in that I was an only child, my parents had me a bit later in life, and that their friends had kids who were all at least 7-10 years older than me, I never really got to have that experience.

Thoughts?

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Breaking the news

We told our families pretty early on. Her family first, about a week after my wife’s third positive result with the pregnancy tests. We waiting to tell my parents until the 14th, only because it was my dad’s 70th, birthday. With COVID happening, and where we live under lock down, this was the best gift we could possibly give them. Just too bad it was through Skype, and not in person....

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Research

Time to get to learning. There are the traditional books such as, ”What to expect when you’re expecting”, YouTube vlogs, blogs, articles....Just a tsunami of information. Where do I even start?

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The Journey Begins

I found out on January 5th that I am to be a first time father. While I’m absolutely thrilled and excited, I can’t but help feeling terrified. I never grew up around babies. I was an only child. I haven’t the slightest idea of what I need to do in the next 9 months.