daminakhair

[daminakhair]

i still remember those moments when you were too tired and you lay on top of my chest, hugging me like a little boy.

i could feel the weight of your ribs pressing into my body, swarming me entirely while i was underneath yours.

you felt heavy, but your hug calmed and comforted me, and it felt like home.

i had never felt so safe in my entire life as i did in your arms.

[daminakhair]

Buried in the Quiet

I hope life hits you—

not gently, but with the weight

of every silent night I cried

when you vanished like love meant nothing.

I hope loneliness wraps around you

the way it clung to me

when I waited for a version of you

that never came back.

Maybe then,

you’ll see how deep we loved,

how much I gave

while you just…

left.

But by the time truth sinks in,

it’s already too late.

You ruined it.

And all that’s left in you

is regret and guilt—

the kind that doesn’t fade,

the kind that lingers

like a scar you can’t explain,

for a lifetime.

[daminakhair]

And we don't even know each other now And I'd blow all my plans if you'd meet me out We could talk, we could get it, we could both calm down

It all changed for me and I told you You had the wrong idea about me And all I ever did was consider you Until all I could do was consider me

I was your entertainment from a dark place You don't know how to step outside yourself It's not my fault you can't sit with the hard thing

You really thought you would get what you wanted

[daminakhair]

How can you just walk away from me When all I can do is watch you leave? 'Cause we've shared the laughter and the pain and even shared the tears You're the only one who really knew me at all

So take a look at me now There's just an empty space And there's nothing left here to remind me Just the memory of your face

[daminakhair]

I don't know when but it's just one day, you just decided that we weren't meant to be, that we couldn't be together—and that's when everything started to fall apart.

My stupid, desperate self tried so hard to fix whatever was left between us, clinging to the hope of saving us, until I finally realized it was a dead-end. It was far too late. I was only fooling myself.

Because in the end, it was just me—the only one still loving, still making the effort to stay, to protect the relationship we fought so hard to build. But you gave up. You gave up on me, on us. You left me. And out of guilt, you disguised it as "It's better for you."

But it was never better for me. It was for your own benefit.

I was the one in pain. I was the one suffering. I was the one carrying all the consequences of it.

It was torture. And all you could say was, "move on and accept it".

How could you? How could you be so cold now?

The person you've become is someone I never really knew. You're not the same man I fell in love with in the beginning.

Maybe this is the real you. Maybe you were just pretending from the start, making yourself digestible for me, shaping yourself into the best version of you—just enough for me to love you.

But eventually, the mask slipped.

And now, all I see is who you truly are. And I have no choice but to deal with it.

And maybe the most painful reality of all... is that this real version of you never really loved me at all.

Maybe the reason you left is because you simply got tired of pretending.

Maybe then it wasn't so random that you changed your mind and decided to leave me. Maybe you had already planned it all along while I was blissfully unaware, completely innocent to the truth.

Maybe every moment I spent with you, thinking we were happy, you were secretly searching for the perfect timing—the right excuse—crafting your best alibi to finally tell me, "Let's stop this."

And now, you've finally found it.

[daminakhair]

I don’t matter enough in your life for you to even notice that I’m gone.

[daminakhair]

when I said we could be friends, guess I lied I wanna say I wish that you never left but instead I only wish you the best I wanna say without you, everything's wrong and you were everything I need all along

[daminakhair]

[daminakhair]

Franz Kafka, 1912

[daminakhair]

not what you made me it's something like a daydream but I feel so seen in the night so for now, it's only me and maybe that's all I need

[daminakhair]

no revenge, because one day the depths of my love will hit you, and you will see everything from my perspective and maybe then, you will finally understand me...

[daminakhair]

forever villainizing the people who hurt me, despite the fact that all I gave them was pure love because what the hell dude I never deserved any of that

[daminakhair]

going back to my wild and crazy life after being abandoned by the guy who wanted me first

[daminakhair]

I never knew how peaceful it was to finally lose all interest in knowing what happened to the person I once thought would kill me if they left my life.

[daminakhair]

you should've seen him when he first saw me you should've seen him when he first got me

[daminakhair]

once I fix me,

he's gonna miss me

[daminakhair]

and if one day we ever stop talking, and you no longer feel like speaking to me, please remember that I loved you with all my heart—without judgment or conditions.

I always wanted it to be you from the beginning until the end, and I spent my entire life imagining a future with you—building a family and laughing with our own kids at home.

you were, and still are, my life, my home, my everything. please never forget that.

♥