daniwth

[daniwth]

Well at least she didn't touch your ass or that would be a new level of sexual harassment. But if your ass is getting checked out, feel a bit proud.

Shout out to my teacher who was making it painfully obvious she was staring at my butt. Thanks. 

[daniwth]

I actually feel you on such a personal level with this, it's absolutely ridiculous.

it must be really hard to find a cute guy who can sweep me off my feet, but not hard to find a guy who will slap my ass when I don’t know their name.

[daniwth]

I feel bad for you if you got that song stuck in your head. That song haunts me, for some odd reason.

I was listening to this song on repeat when I thought; hey, what am I even listening to? It turns out it was One Direction’s You and I. I don’t even like One Direction that much, but that song is really something. And I think it’s just one of those days, too. 

[daniwth]

You can witness my own death live without getting stabbed yourself. Great outcome for you but not so much for me.

Hell yeah. Bring on the world of holograms and teleportation. You probably won’t even need to leave your house to hang out with people. 

[daniwth]

Everyone else seemed to enjoy it so I don't care if one person that doesn't matter much to me doesn't like it.

You’re terrible at telling jokes. In case you didn’t already know.

[daniwth]

I doubt it'll be texting when we're old as dirt. It'll be 24/7 video messaging or something. Holograms and that stuff.

Okay, but let me know. We’ll probably still be texting where were in diapers anyway. 

[daniwth]

I'll do it when I'm super old and about to die because then it won't matter anyway.

I hope they do. For your case.

[daniwth]

I'm not even literal about it, it was a joke.

Oh, no, not testy. Just literal. If you’re so confident in your assumption, I don’t see why you can’t test it.

[daniwth]

Why must everyone doubt this logic? It might actually work. Who knows what thugs you run into?

I don’t think they’re gonna necessarily leave you alone — more like be really confused and laugh in your face. But hey, at least you’d die saying something really clever. You’d practically be a legend, let’s be real.

[daniwth]

When I eat, I make sure it's something I really like so that if I die right after I eat it, I ate something I love. It's great logic.

Yeah, me too — but when it comes to handing in assignments late or trying to get out of trouble with my parents.. If it was a life or death situation, I’d probably shit my pants and beg them not to kill me just yet. Or at least let me have a cheese burger before I die or somethin’, just so I can die happy.

[daniwth]

I would hope you didn't piss your pants, that is embarrassing.

Me to, I’d probably pee my pants right on the spot or something. 

[daniwth]

Someone's a little testy, I see.

Why don’t I drop you off in some Bronx alleyway and see how that works out for you?

[daniwth]

Well, I like to be very humorous when it comes to situations. That probably wouldn't come to my mind either at that moment but it will now, don't you think?

See the thing is, if I was in that situation — that wouldn’t really be the first thing to pop in my head..

[daniwth]

See, I would probably be laughing so hard I would drop the knife or whatever and not being able to go after them.

I think that might work. 

[daniwth]

Well, they have to have some kind of sense of humor. So they would probably laugh and you get away.

Or they’ll stab you for saying the most ridiculous thing anyone’s ever heard. You know - either or.

[daniwth]

I don't know, maybe I'll go into the ghetto one day and see but I would hope it works. Let's hope gang members have a sense of humor.

I really want to know if that works. I mean, I don’t want anyone to try to stab you, but I just wanna know if that would really work. 

[daniwth]

If someone is about to stab you just say, “I’ve got too much swagger for the dagger,” and they’ll leave you alone.