dark-ravens-stuff

[dark-ravens-stuff]

A Thousand Words

lottie matthews x gn!reader

word count: 3.8k

contains: modern au, both of you are mid 20’s, sickeningly sweet fluff, food mention, making out, established relationship, slight language, mention of jackienat, the l word is dropped, suggestive themes at the very end, a Lot of hand holding, just go with it

description: when your girlfriend finds out you've never been to a fair, she drags you to the local one for date night.

ao3 link | spotify playlist

lottie matthews masterlist

A cool breeze slips in through your girlfriend Lottie’s bedroom window, a welcome break from the heat that’s been plaguing your town the last couple weeks. The sun will start setting soon, and the two of you are a tangle of limbs atop her plush comforter, having just woken up from a nap.

You’ve started scrolling on your phone, looking through social media and seeing how everyone’s been spending their summers. A couple of your friends posted on their story that they visited a fair yesterday, and the location tag tells you that it’s local. Noticing something, you announce your interesting discovery to the room.

“Jackie and Nat both posted that they were at the fair yesterday but they didn’t tag each other,” you snicker. “I don’t know why they’re acting like we don’t all know they’re dating, they’re shitty liars anyway.”

Turning around in your arms, deep brown eyes find your own, shining with excitement.

“Wait, I saw that! I was gonna tell you when we were on the phone last night but I fell asleep.”

She laughs, grabbing her phone and typing quickly, then turning the screen towards you to show what she was doing. She had pulled Jackie’s story up and typed a message into the reply bar.

Just tag Nat already, we know.

“Should I send it? It’s kinda messy but they’ve been doing this for weeks, like, just hard launch already.”

“Do it. They’ll get married thinking they’re still being subtle.”

At your encouragement, Lottie sends the note off, locking her phone and chuckling to herself, already imagining her friend’s reaction.

“Jackie might actually get pissed at me for that.”

“Yeah, well, someone’s gotta give their asses a push.”

Setting your own device down, you wrap your arms around your girlfriend’s waist and pull her close.

“And if she tries giving you any shit for it, just tell her I told you to do it, she’s still kinda scared of me.”

Giggling, Lottie slowly leans into you, pausing only a breath away from your lips.

“My knight in shining armor.”

“Damn right.”

You close the gap and gently slot her lips between your own, applying the slightest amount of pressure. Hearing a hum, you just barely open your mouth, teasing her bottom lip with the very tip of your tongue. You feel her groan before taking over, kissing you with fervor as her hands slide up your neck to cup your face. The energy shifts after a few minutes, turning into something softer before the two of you separate and stare into each other’s eyes.

Lottie then looks past you out to her window and notices the color starting to change in the sky, sitting up to take pictures of it. She has easily over a thousand sunset photos but she insists on taking some every chance she gets, and you love how she enjoys little things like that.

Laying your head in her lap, Lottie moves a hand from her phone to scratch at your scalp, the action causing you to let out a noise akin to a purr. Looking down, she smiles and exposes her fangs, another one of your favorite things about her.

“Comfy?”

“Mm, yes actually, thank you for asking.”

That gets a laugh out of her, and at the same time, she gets a notification saying that Jackie has messaged her back. Opening it, she reads Know what? We’re friends. Groaning, Lottie simply shows you her phone, causing you to roll your eyes.

Grabbing it from her, you type out Everyone knows you’re dating, stop being a pussy and launch already 🙄 , sending the message and tossing the device on the bed behind you.

“It’s done.”

Lottie looks at her phone with wide eyes, shifting her gaze to you.

“Babe, what did you tell her?”

Smirking, you stretch your arms above your head and pat your stomach, suddenly hungry.

“What she needed to hear.”

Your girlfriend lets out a sigh at that, you were much more direct than she was and she wishes she could be fearless like that sometimes. She watches you stand up from her bed, steps relaxed as you make your way to the full length mirror on her wall, checking yourself out.

“You ready to eat? That nap gave me an appetite.”

She’s looking at her phone again, swiping through other people’s stories, Damn, everyone’s at the fair lately. She gets an idea and leans back on her elbows, waiting for you to look at her.

When you do, she’s wearing that smile that you love so much, and you subconsciously match it, walking over and placing your hands on her cheeks, enamoured by her. She brings hers up to cover them, turning to the side to kiss your palm.

“How do you feel about having dinner at the fair? I have a craving for a corn dog now.”

A corn dog? Out of everything in the world she could have? Just a few days ago, she took you to a Michelin star restaurant because she wanted pizza.

You look at her with a puzzled expression, eyebrow raised, but Lottie‘s looking at you with those glossy doe eyes and you’d have given her anything she wanted in that moment. Though you have no idea what to expect, you agree.

“I mean, yeah, that’s cool, there’s a first time for everything, I guess.”

Squealing, she stands up from the bed, pressing a kiss to your lips before looking in her closet for a change of clothes. She finally registers what you said and looks over her shoulder, asking you a question.

“What do you mean, first time? Do you not eat when you’re there?”

You’ve moved to look around Lottie’s room, knowing she can take a while to get dressed.

“No, I mean I’ve never been to a fair.”

Seeing her freeze out of the corner of your eye, she turns to you, mouth agape.

“What?! Like not even as a kid with your family?”

Scratching the back of your neck, you now feel a bit embarrassed that you’ve never participated in this seemingly important activity before.

“Just never got around to it, I guess…”

Lottie realizes that she made you uncomfortable and tries to rectify the situation. Her face quickly softens and she steps in front of you, placing a gentle hand on your cheek, a gesture you’ve told her relaxes you.

“Babe, it’s okay, no shame in that. Sorry for being surprised, I just assumed most people have been before, but that’s dumb, everybody’s experiences are different.”

With a small nod, you look back at her, finding comfort in her understanding.

“But don’t worry, we are gonna go and have a great time, I promise.”

She punctuates her sentence with a kiss to your nose, and you laugh as she walks back to her closet, deciding what to grab among her abundance of clothes.

That’s another thing you loved about Lottie. Though she grew up an only child, she was very emotionally mature, and if she ever misstepped, she always apologized. She was also exceptionally giving and always made sure to provide you with experiences you otherwise might never have had. You were incredibly lucky.

“Okay. Don’t take too long getting ready though, I am getting hungry.”

Chuckling, she promises to do her best as you head to her bathroom to freshen up, distracting yourself from staring at your girlfriend while she changes or you definitely won’t make it to the fair. Almost a half hour later, she’s in a new outfit and has touched up her makeup, the sight taking your breath away. Though she’s just in a t-shirt and pants, her beauty is undeniable and never fails to stop you in your tracks.

“Oh.”

Taking your short response as a bad thing, Lottie looks down at herself, suddenly nervous.

“Is it too much? I picked leather pants instead of jeans cause I’ve never worn these but I can change—“

You cut her off mid rant by cupping her chin and pulling her into a firm kiss. When you pull back, Lottie looks dazed and is adorning a goofy smile.

“You look amazing. It was a ‘I can’t believe I’m dating the most gorgeous woman in the world’ 'oh', I promise.”

A slight blush begins to creep onto her cheeks and she looks down at her feet, bashful.

“Ah. Okay, thank you.”

Sliding your hand into hers, you squeeze it to bring her attention back to you, beautiful brown eyes gazing into yours.

“Ready?”

She nods excitedly, ready to create new memories with you.

“Yeah, let’s go.”

She leads you out to your car, moving to open the passenger door before you press a firm hand to it.

“Allow me.”

When you grab the handle, Lottie giggles as she slides in, blowing you a kiss as you make sure the door is firmly shut. Walking around to the driver’s side and settling in, you hand your phone to her to pick the music, turning the car on and starting the journey there. Your hands lay intertwined on her thigh the whole drive, windows cracked as the summer air envelops you both, sunset now visible through the windshield.

Once you arrive, you hop out and escort your girlfriend from the parking lot to the entrance, walking to the back of the short ticket line. Lottie plays with your fingers as you wait, always having to be touching you somehow. When you first started dating, you thought it was a jealousy thing but you soon learned that she just loved physical contact.

It’s finally your turn and when the cashier tells you your total, you begin pulling out your wallet before Lottie grabs your wrist, stopping you.

“Let me.”

“Lot,” you start to protest but she simply pouts and your resolve cracks instantly.

“This was my idea so I should pay. Please.”

Sighing, you can’t argue with that, though you want to, and your girlfriend beams as you put your hand back in your pocket. After paying and thanking the ticket person, Lottie grabs your hand and pulls you towards the entrance, stopping in front of the lit up sign overhead.

“Let’s take a picture.”

She pulls out her phone before you can decline, not that you would have, and faces it towards the two of you. Centering you both and making sure the sign is visible, she snaps multiple photos, grinning in every one.

“Okay, what do you wanna do first? There’s carnival games, rides, food stands, we can do whatever you want.”

Your stomach grumbles at that exact moment, causing you both to laugh.

“Food it is.”

Walking over to that area, you’re overwhelmed with the options, reading every sign like a kid in a candy store. Fried pickles, fried Oreos, fried cheesecake. Whoa.

“Is everything here fried?”

Lottie giggles at your statement before a look of realization crosses her face.

“Um, no? There’s definitely other things to eat, I promise.”

Seeing a booth that looks promising, you internally cheer when you see more common food options. You settle on nachos and a soft pretzel, a safe bet before you dive into the more intense choices, and Lottie gets her corn dog. You make sure to pay before she can even try, practically skipping over to a nearby table.

Sitting down across from each other, you begin eating, seeing the content look on your girlfriend’s face as she enjoys her meal.

“Man, I haven’t had a corn dog from here in forever.”

A faraway look blooms in her eyes before she continues.

“My parents used to take me every year before they got divorced, it was one of the few places they wouldn’t argue.”

Nodding along, you don’t say anything as Lottie recaps her favorite memories from this place. Early on in your relationship, she told you that her parents separated when she was young, and you knew it was a sore subject for her, rarely ever talking about it. You reach a hand across the table and squeeze it, letting her know you’re there for her.

A sad smile appears for a second before she looks back at you, eyes roaming over your face.

“But now I get to make new memories with you.”

Raising her hand to your mouth, you press your lips to her knuckles in silent support. Her smile widens at the sweet act, and the look on her face has you mentally cursing out everything that’s ever caused her pain.

“I’m definitely full now. Can we go check out the games?”

Her enthusiasm is infectious and you can’t help but feel the corners of your lips tugging up into a grin.

“Of course, come on.”

Getting up and clearing your trash, the two of you head over to the carnival area, arms swinging between you. Lottie plays a few different games, not winning anything, and she asks if you want to join her but you’re content just watching her at the moment. Reaching the very last booth, Lottie sees something that has her stopping in her tracks.

“No way. Babe, look!”

She rushes over to stare at a large deer plushie hanging on the back wall, complete with dark lashes and glossy eyes that mirror your girlfriend’s.

“She’s perfect.”

You stroll over to get a closer look and once your gaze lands on the stuffed animal, you know you have to win it for her. Getting the worker’s attention, you give her the amount of tickets required before finally looking down at the game. You hadn’t realized it was a ring toss, which you’ve heard was notoriously hard, but you were determined.

Lottie backs away to give you plenty of room, and as the worker is getting you the rings, you try to map out your game plan. She tells you how many you’ll have to make for each prize, and when she says that you’ll need to land all 5 for the big ones, your back straightens up.

With no room for error, you toss the first ring and land it perfectly. Feeling good, you throw the next three with near perfect precision. The last one sits in your hand like a weight, and you take a deep breath before sending it up into the air, watching as it bounces off the bottle you meant it for, rebounding off of two more before landing on the very furthest one in the corner.

Lottie runs into your arms as you wrap them around her waist and pick her up, both of you ecstatic. Once you put her down, you face the worker who asks which prize you’d like to claim.

“The deer!” Both you and Lottie say at the same time, causing the girl in front of you to laugh and head to the back of the booth to grab it. She brings it over to you a minute later, handing it straight to Lottie who’s practically bouncing with excitement. Thanking the employee and wishing her a good night, Lottie drags you away, content with her winnings. She takes a generous amount pictures of it and with it, posting one of the three of you on her story with the caption our new daughter 🥹🦌.

“I can’t believe you won it on the first try, I wasn’t getting anything at the other games.”

You shrug with a smirk on your face, wrapping an arm around her hip.

“Beginner’s luck, I guess.”

Huffing, she bumps her shoulder into you as she playfully rolls her eyes.

“Sure.”

She’s going to tell you something else when a photobooth catches her attention and she looks toward you.

“Ooh, can we go take some pictures? They’ll be so cute.”

You’re down for anything at this point, feeling good after that win.

“We can do whatever you want, babe.”

You pull Lottie towards the machine, sliding onto the seat before pulling her into your lap. She draws the curtain shut behind her, both of you now realizing how cramped the space is. Feeding the necessary bills into the slot, you let your girlfriend pick the photo options, making sure it’ll be in color and give you two copies.

The countdown for the first picture begins and you pull her against you, her head leaning against yours as you both smile into the camera. The flash goes off, causing you to sit back before Lottie wraps her arm around the back of your head, squishing your cheeks together. For the next pose, Lottie pulls up the stuffed deer as best she can and places it in front of her chest. You take advantage of her being distracted and kiss her cheek in time for the loud click.

Facing you, Lottie eyes gaze into your own before drifting down to your lips and leaning in slowly, kissing you as you eagerly return the act. You see the bright light flash behind your closed eyelids but make no move to pull away just yet. Only once the unmistakable noise of photos printing announces itself does Lottie lean back, proud of herself for the effect she has on you.

Seeing the screen in front of you light up, you look to see that it’s giving the option to email the video that was recorded as the pictures were being taken. After sending it to herself to post later, Lottie bends over to grab the film strips from the tray they’re sitting in, cooing when she sees how they turned out.

“We look so cute.”

Facing them towards you so you can look, you immediately smile. The poses came out perfect, capturing the affectionate energy between you both.

Lottie flips one around and presses her lips to the back of it, leaving behind a subtle lipstick print, before handing it to you.

“That one’s yours.”

You can’t help but pull her back to you, pressing kisses all over her face before hearing footsteps outside of the booth, alerting you that someone else is waiting to use it.

Collecting your things, you and Lottie head out, giggling together as you pass the young couple who gets in the booth after. They remind you of yourselves and it almost feels like a full circle moment.

You’re now roaming the grounds aimlessly, hands intertwined as you begin heading towards the rides. Not looking for anything in particular, you end up in front of the ferris wheel and seeing that there’s not too many people waiting for it, Lottie turns to you with a smile.

“Wanna ride it?”

Nodding as you kiss her cheek, she walks you to the end of the line, and you two pass the time with conversation and picture taking, Lottie insisting on printing these photos out. Once you reach the front, the employee takes your tickets and ushers you into an empty cabin, closing the door behind you as you take your seats next to each other, setting the deer plushie on the floor.

The car starts moving up and the higher you get, the more you can see out towards the city. Night has fully arrived, and the lights below illuminate your girlfriend in a way you’ve never seen. Sliding away from her, Lottie looks at you in confusion before seeing you pull your phone out.

“I wanna take a picture of you.”

Smiling at your initiation, she begins posing for you, giving you plenty of material to choose from. Eventually, you reach the top of the Ferris wheel and stop, Lottie simply gazing out at the horizon but you can’t help but be in awe of her. Lowering your camera, you drink in her profile, wondering what on earth you did to deserve the woman in front of you.

“The view is gorgeous.”

Lottie softly smiles, eyes raking over the cityscape.

“Ugh, isn’t it? Everything looks so beautiful from up here.”

“I wasn’t talking about that.”

Turning towards you, she sees the look you’re giving her and her entire body begins to tingle, a warm feeling spreading from her chest outwards.

“C’mere.”

Obeying instantly, you move closer until your thigh is pressed against hers and Lottie’s hand is cupping your cheek. The moment feels so fragile that even breathing would shatter it, and all you can do is stare into her eyes.

“I love you.”

Big brown eyes shine with emotion, feeling so peaceful in this moment that she can’t help but utter those three little words that have gone unspoken until now. Breath catching in your throat at her confession, you always thought you’d be the one to say it first, but Lottie continues to surprise you.

Before you can think about it, you’re leaning in to capture her lips, over and over and over, conveying all of your feelings for the women in front of you. The cab jolting into motion breaks you apart, but you stay close, forehead leaning against hers.

“I love you too.”

When the ride finishes, the two of you step off, fingers intertwined, feeling light as air in the aftermath of the mutual admission. Lottie’s carrying her plushie, grinning like a fool while you have your free hand in your pocket, pinching your thigh to make sure this is real life. Both of you decide to call it a night after that, ending the evening on a high no one expected.

Reaching your car, you once again open the door for your girlfriend, allowing her to fit herself and the stuffed deer in the front seat. When you slide into the driver’s side and begin the drive to her place, the two of you settle into a comfortable silence, not feeling the need to communicate besides the occasional glance and hand squeeze.

Upon arriving, you park along the curb, turning the engine off and opening your door before rounding the hood to let Lottie out. She hops out of the car with ease, her smile remaining on her lips as she takes hold of your hand, pulling you towards the front door to her house.

Handing the deer to you, she opens her purse and begins to rummage through it, searching for her keys, and letting out a soft curse when she can’t find them quickly. You chuckle, stepping behind her, reaching around her waist and into the bag. Your front is now pressed to her back and your body is shielding both of you from the brisk night air. Finding the keys, you remove them from her purse, unlocking the door without any trouble, still standing in the same position. Lottie takes the chance to lean her back fully into you, enjoying the proximity.

“Are you coming in?”

You can hear the smile in her voice and you wrap your arms around her midsection, pressing your lips into her neck, leaving a quick kiss there.

“Of course, baby.”

Following your girlfriend inside, you kiss the entire way to her bedroom, the two of you expressing your love for the rest of the night.

(The next time you’re at Lottie’s, you notice the deer plush on her bed and the photo strip tucked into her mirror, constant reminders of the best night of her life.)

taglist: @t-wylia @theoreticalfreak

[dark-ravens-stuff]

could I request princess!lottie and knight!reader fic? Maybe one night lottie sneaks off and reader is looking everywhere to find her, sometime passes and reader finds Lottie just in the forest by a lake. While reader is shit scared and telling Lottie to come back, Lottie just finds it funny and tells reader to relax, which is how they end up doing it more often like this said night. They go to the river by the field and just lay there for hours.

-🪼

── WHEN YOU GET A TASTE, CAN YOU TELL ME WHAT'S MY FLAVOR?

— summary: you’re supposed to protect the princess with your life. she keeps running from you.

— warnings: gn!knight reader & princess!lottie. non-sexual nudity. not really a warning, but i’m mainly calling her charlotte in this au.

the castle is silent when you realize she’s gone.

the chambers that so often echo with charlotte’s laughter or the quiet hum of a tune she barely notices she’s singing are empty now, the absence of sound unnatural like an ill omen.

outside, the torches burn low, their flickering flames casting restless lights along the castle’s stone walls. it is well past midnight, the hour when even the most stubborn courtiers have retired to their beds, leaving the corridors hollow. yet sleep, a luxury for guards like you, is the last thing on your mind.

you check her room first. then the library. then the gardens. each place greets you with the same emptiness. her bed is untouched, silk sheets unrumpled and her favorite books sit neatly by the window, their pages undisturbed. with each failed attempt to find the princess, the unease in your chest coils tighter.

you do not allow panic to take hold, not yet.

instead, you seize a cloak from its hook and snatch a lantern from a nearby table. the guards at the gate scarcely glance in your direction when you pass. they do not stop you, knowing your place as the princess’s knight, sworn to protect her.

and yet, charlotte disappears into the night, time and time again, as if she thinks she doesn't need guarding, oblivious to the fact that if she'd ever truly vanish, it would be your head on the chopping block. you would be lucky to be executed. more likely, you would be cast into the dungeons, left to rot, condemned as a traitor unworthy of their trust.

so you follow like you always do.

the path to the lake is familiar by now, the trees shifting and parting around you as you navigate the uneven ground. you move quickly, your steps unfaltering, barely noticing the roughness of the forest floor beneath your boots. the only thing that matters is finding her, making sure she’s safe.

the lake is a place you’ve come to know well, a shelter for the princess. by nightfall, the track there grows darker, but you push forward without fear, not allowing your emotions to come between ensuring charlotte’s safety. still your eyes sweep over the shifting darkness, searching for any sign of movement. it feels like an eternity before something does catch your eye: a glint of silver, moonlight shimmering against the calm water. and then, at the lake’s edge, you see her.

charlotte is alone by the shore, her gown barely touching the damp grass. she looks beautiful, you can’t help but notice, the light catching in her long, dark hair. she stands barefoot, her shoes abandoned somewhere nearby, her hands clasped loosely before her as she gazes out across the surface.

for a brief moment, you allow yourself to watch her and dwell in both your frustration as well as secret admiration. foolish girl. does charlotte not know how vulnerable she looks like this? how easily harm could come to her?

beneath your boot, a branch snaps and she turns around, her lips curving into a smile. charlotte's expression is so calm that it sends a fresh wave of frustration through your veins, one you have no right to voice, because she’s the princess and you’re disposable. just another knight, trusted with her protection.

“your highness,” you call out to her. “do you mean to send me to an early grave?”

“i was sure you’d find me”

“and if i had not? what then? would you stay out here until dawn, alone and defenseless?”

“calm down, my knight.” she tilts her head as tough your worry is nothing more than a mild inconvenience. “i am neither alone nor defenseless. i’m perfectly fine. see?” charlotte motions around. “the lake, the night. there’s nothing to fear here!”

“do not jest with me, princess,” you scold, moving to kneel beside her. “you know the rules. you cannot simply...disappear like this! do you know what would happen if you-”

“you act like i’m fragile, knight. like i’m some delicate thing that needs constant protection. can you not just trust me for once?”

your swallow, your mind a mess of conflicting thoughts. your duty, your heart. before you can give voice to either, charlotte flashes you a smile, so unfairly disarming, melting away the doubts that had taken root. she leans back against the cool grass, calling out cheerfully: “sit with me? just for a while?”

it’s a gentle command, but a command nonetheless, one you should refuse. you should insist she return to the safety of the castle, remind her of the risks, of what’s expected. instead, you mutter: “you’re stubborn,”

“is that a complaint, my knight?” charlotte teases, arching her brow at you.

“it is a fact,” you reply, shaking your head. “you are impossible to protect”

“well, you're here.” she laughs. “you’ll always follow me, won’t you?”

gods help you, she is impossible.

you lean back, staring up at the sky as if the constellations overhead might have clarity to offer.

you remember another night, years ago, when you were smaller. still a child despite the weight of a weapon in your hands. the training yard had been ruthless that day, bruises blooming across your arms. when night fell and you were left you to rest, you and the others had stolen a moment for yourselves, slipping out onto the grass beyond the barracks, lying side by side beneath the open sky.

“there,” van had said, pointing up, her grin wide even in the dim light. you remember there was a gap where she had lost a tooth, making her lisp ever so slightly when she spoke. “that one’s a hunter!”

“you don’t know that,” taissa had countered, giggling with her arms folded behind her head. “you just made that up.”

“did not,” van shot back. “i was told!”

“by who?” nat had asked, unimpressed, toying with a blade of grass between her fingers.

van’s face scrunched up, deep in thought, and for a moment. “i don’t remember.” she admitted.

shauna, lying closest beside you, had laughed. “then how do you even know it’s true?”

van had only shrugged, stubborn. “it just is.”

the memory ends there, just as all things did, just as all things still do, with the royal family. the same one that had robbed van of the ability to recall anything prior to what she was given by them, the people who must have taught her the night skies and constellations.

now, years later, you stare at the same sky, the same stars, but you are not that child anymore. you are here, with her.

“this cannot continue,” you tell charlotte, even though you do find yourself enjoying the damp softness of the grass against your back.

she closes her eyes. “it will,”

and it does.

in the weeks that follow, it becomes a ritual, unspoken but still understood.

at first, you try to tell yourself that you will put an end to it. that next time she slips away, you will lay a firm hand upon her shoulder, guide her back inside, and remind her of her duty, of the weight of the crown that rests so delicately upon her head.

yet, every night when the castle falls silent and the corridors stand empty, you find charlotte's chambers deserted. each of those nights, you follow the familiar path, lantern in hand, armor heavy upon your shoulders. and every time, without fail, the princess is waiting by the lake.

the first few times, you try to reason with her about the dangers of slipping away unseen. she only smiles (that smile), tilting her head as if you are the fool.

“i have you, my knight,” charlotte says, like that's enough. and perhaps, to her, it is. out here, away from the castle walls and watchful eyes, she is free. the lake is the only place where she is not a princess bound by duty, and you, though ever conscious of your station, are not merely her guard.

charlotte confides in you now: she speaks of the pressures that press upon her, of her father’s demands, of the suitors who visit from far-off lands. she talks about the life that has been carved out for her since birth, and the walls of the castle that, no matter how grand, have always felt like a cage.

and you? you listen.

whenever she turns the conversation to you, you offer little, for there is only so little to tell. raised to wield a sword, you were only ever taught to serve, to protect what is not yours. that is the way of things. that is how it has always been.

unlike her, you have no stories of childhood games except for the ones you played in stolen moments, no memories of lazy mornings or warm hearths. your earliest recollections are of cold steel and calloused hands. drills in the training yard long before the sun had risen and voices barking orders as you struggled to lift a sword half your size. you were taught to fight before you could read, to obey before you could dream of anything beyond this.

at least you were not alone in it, which you do tell her about. there were the others, boys and girls who had been taken from their families just as you had and grew beside you. they bled with you, trained with you, fought with you. the closest thing you have to brothers and sisters, not by blood, but by years spent beneath the same banner. the crown’s chosen, as van would call it behind the backs of the knights ranked higher.

yet, for all that hardship, you never resented it. you have never wished for more. not until now. not until her and the pull of wanting something, someone, you were never meant to have. for the first time, you wish to be free.

until the night she wades into the lake, you're able to force all those obscene thoughts down.

then, after weeks of lingering at its inviting shore, charlotte steps into the water, seeking relief from the heat that clings to her skin even after nightfall now that summer has come, and you nearly fall apart.

one moment, she is beside you, plucking absently at the petals of a wildflower. the next, she is rising to her feet, fingers untying the silken gown that marks her as royalty.

“your highness-“ the full moon high above catches her skin, turning every inch of her silver.

charlotte sighs, stepping free from the gown and leaving it in a careless heap pooled at her feet. she does not stop there. what little remains, she sheds just as easily until there is nothing between her and the night air.

“i should like a bath,” charlotte announces.

you have seen her in finery, adorned in silks and jewels fit for a queen, but you have never seen her like this. entirely bare, her hair tumbling wild and untamed down her back whilst she walks directly into the water.

your hand tightens over the handle of your sword upon watching the lake water lapping at her calves, then her thighs. charlotte exhales slowly, tilting her head back until the ends of her hair float on the surface. in all the places where she has freed herself from the weight of her thin clothes, your armor suddenly feels suffocating.

“you needn’t stand there like a statue,” she calls softly, glancing over her shoulder. “you could join me”

“i don't think-“ the water does nothing to conceal her, and you swear your heart stutters in your chest as your eyes dart down to her breasts.

“you are always so tense,” charlotte points out, stepping back toward the shallows. “do you never grow tired of carrying such weight?”

you knuckles whiten around the sword's handle, that's how hard you're gripping it. always, you want to tell her. every moment of every day.

she does not realize what she does to you and your body betrays you like it never did before. eyes that once were under your command flicker, involuntarily tracing the delicate lines of her body as it emerges from the lake. when she reaches the shore, the water running in rivulets down her skin, you force your gaze away too late. charlotte halts before you, towering above where you kneel in the grass. “you’re staring,”

“forgive me, your highness. i did not mean-”

“did you not?”

your breath hitches when her fingers find the edge of your jaw. the touch is barely there at all, but it might as well have set you ablaze. the princess traces the line of your cheek, skin cool from the water, before drifting lower, where her thumb presses lightly against your bottom lip. “how proper you are,” she murmurs, applying enough pressure to part your mouth. “even now, you fight it.”

you do not (cannot) speak.

her hand stays in place, tilting your face toward her. your pulse pounds like a war drum in your chest, each beat a desperate warning. any closer and there will be no denying to what this is. any closer, and you won’t be able to contain yourself from her anymore. any closer and-

without warning, charlotte takes a step back. she turns, moving toward the place where her gown lays in a crumpled pile.

“you may look now,” she calls, fastening the ties of her dress while watching you. not just your face this time, but lower. your armor. “you always wear it,”

you shift, uncomfortable under her scrutiny. “it is my duty to remain prepared, your highness.”

“prepared for what?”

charlotte reaches out, her fingers touching the edge of a buckle near your shoulder. a heavy drop of water falls from the ends of her hair onto the shoulder plate. “take it off,”

“i-”

“please,” she adds, softer this time. she could just command you, and you'd have to follow her orders without any protest. instead, the princess asks. you're about to unfasten them when charlotte steps forward, her fingers brushing against you, a silent request to stop. “let me,”

her fingers move expertly while you drop your own to your sides, loosening the first buckle, then the next. the armor shifts against your body, giving way to her slow administration.

the breastplate is the first to go: charlotte lifts it carefully, her hands barely making a sound as they run over the metal. the air is cold against your undershirt when she sets it down in the grass, a relief that only comes in the evenings, once you're freed from your duty and have permission to rest.

charlotte doesn’t stop there. her presence is a steady force as she circles you, undoing buckles and loosening straps in every place she puts her hands to. each piece of armor that falls away leaves more of you exposed, and though it is nothing indecent (your tunic still covers you and your trousers are laced tight around your hips), it feels like something intimate. it’s more than just metal that’s stripped from you, but all that you’ve been this far. your identity, laid out in pieces.

charlotte moves to your arms next, undoing the leather bindings that keep the vambraces in their place. when she pulls them off, her fingers trail over your bare forearms, feeling old scars, the raised ridges of past battles. they brush over your collar as well, where sweat dampens the fabric of your underclothes. then she shifts behind you again, her hands settling at your waist to pull on the straps that secure your faulds and tassets.

the princess is closer than she needs to be, her breath warm against your nape. “how strange it is,” she whispers as the last strap around your upper body falls loose and she drags her palms up your back. “i have seen you in armor for so long. it feels almost…improper to see you without it”

her touch trails all the way up, then pauses in one particular place. without turning to look, you know what has made her falter: the brand is small, just above the collar of your clothes; a faintly discolored mark that's been burned into your skin years ago. charlotte has seen it before, on the knights who stand guard outside her chambers, who kneel before her father. but this is different. this is you.

“this is the mark they gave you when you swore yourself to the crown,”

“yes,”

she lingers there, thumb brushing over it once. “it is cruel,” charlotte decides after a moment, “to mark a person like they would mark cattle.”

“it is an honor.”

“did it hurt?”

you glance over your shoulder. “yes,”

“i do not like the thought of you in pain,”

she continues her work as the words still sink in, kneeling before you to unfasten the greaves from your legs. the sight of her there, at your feet, sends yet another wave of heat through you, shameful in its intensity. it is not right; a princess should never kneel before her knight, and yet, charlotte does it anyway, not caring about the kingdom’s rules in the slightest.

by the time the last piece is gone, you feel lighter but exposed, and she sits back on her heels satisfied.

“there you are,” charlotte murmurs. her fingers remain curled around your wrist, thumb tracing slow circles over your pulse. there, beneath the thin skin, your heart pumps blood, an organ that's a servant to the crown, never meant for its daughter.

even through the linen of your tunic, you can feel the warmth of her. “you are trembling,” she observes as she steps closer.

it is impossible to be steady when the heir to the throne is looking at you like this, her gaze dipping, lingering on your mouth. charlotte is testing the boundaries she already knows you are powerless to uphold.

“it is cold”

“you're a terrible liar,” her hand drifts higher, ghosting along the side of your throat.

“we shouldn’t- this is foolish, we-“

the princess tilts her head, considering. “perhaps,” she does not step away.

one of you has to stop this madness. one of you has to be strong enough to remember what this means, what this will mean if you allow yourself to have this moment. but then lottie breathes your name and you shatter. her lips meet yours, and the world tilts.

she is soft, unbearably so, but there is nothing tentative about the way she kisses.

her hands thread into your hair and she pulls. it’s certainly not enough to hurt (somehow, you doubt charlotte is actually capable of that), but enough to leave you dizzy and make you gasp against her mouth.

the length of her tall body presses flush against yours, the warmth of her seeping through your tunic, branding you more thoroughly than any iron ever could.

charlotte’s mouth parts against yours, and your own hands, uncertain at first, find their place at her waist, where the fabric of her gown spills through your fingers. the other cradles the small of her back, feeling the faint shudder that runs through her as you pull her closer there.

you do not dare touch her where you want to, where you dream of, not yet, but charlotte makes up for what you lack in boldness; she presses forward, deepening the kiss, and grazes the hollow of your throat. no matter how featherlight, the touch sends a shudder through you nonetheless.

you gasp against her lips, and she breathes into you, as though she would gladly let you steal the air from her lungs if it meant keeping you close. there’s the taste of the princess on your tongue, sweet like the honeyed wine you have been allowed on very few occasions in the castle.

oh, how you are starving for it now.

you are betraying an oath by this, a vow sworn and sealed in the flesh at the back of your neck. whether charlotte cares or not, you don’t know, but if she does, she chooses defiance. just like she dismisses the suitors who come in secret. just like she turns her back on her father’s demands, she turns her back on this, too. you do not have the same luxury of recklessness. you are not a princess who can ignore the weight of expectation. you are a knight, bound to integrity and consequence. if anyone were to see you now, if the king were to find out-

a tug at your collar pulls you back to the present.

charlotte makes a sound of protest when you have to lean back, but her hands do not leave you; even when you part for breath, she doesn’t go far. her forehead rests against yours, lips still brushing with every tilt of her head, reluctant to lose even an inch of contact.

her gaze, once you finally dare to meet it, is half-lidded and utterly unchanged by what has just happened. against all odds, charlotte does not look regretful.

“this…this is forbidden,” you whisper. the reminder seems meaningless between you now that you’ve taken this irreversible step. if the law couldn’t keep you from one another, you doubt that anything else will.

“so is sneaking past the castle walls,” she laughs breathlessly. “and here we are,” her hands are still tangled in your hair, toying with their ends when she proceeds.

“tell me,” charlotte murmurs, nudging you with her nose with a soft chuckle. “will you call me your princess still?”

your hands tighten around her hip. “if you command it,”

“maybe i prefer you like this. unbound.”

you do not tell her that you are bound, now more than ever. that you would fall to your knees for charlotte if she asked. that you would break your oath, your honor, your very being for just another taste of her mouth.

— a/n: 2 very quick notes: 1. 🪼 anon, i’m so sorry it took me that long to finally finish this! the unedited version has been sitting in my drafts for a hot minute. 2. my nymph!lottie piece was lowkey inspired by some of this, so if you notice any similarities in the writing, that’s why! :)

[dark-ravens-stuff]

and if i said i’d wanna make out with lottie while she was covered in blood?

[dark-ravens-stuff]

LOTTIE MATTHEWS.ᐟ

➤ lottie matthews x gn!reader

.ᐣ her attempt of helping the group perhaps wasn't the most adequate one.

⤷ cw: yellowjackets s3 ep7 spoilers, mentions of blood and brain.

──────────────────────

it all happened way too fast.

you got lost in the crackling sound of the fire, the air lightly buzzing in your ears—creating a haze in your mind—. your body moved on its own, wild chants leaving your lips without a doubt in the world. if it wasn't for lottie's scream, you wouldn't had even noticed their presence.

if she said they didn't belong there—that it didn't want them there—, then it must've been true.

though, was nailing an axe through his head necessary?

lottie didn't understand the other girls, didn't understand why they believed at times and then suddenly didn't. for her, the wilderness was real, it was real, and it wasn't something she could simply ignore. even when she felt like it didn't want her anymore, didn't need her, deep down she knew she would never lose that connection they had.

as the man fell down to his knees, shakily pulling the axe out of his cranium, lottie was oh so proud of herself. her gaze immediately found yours in the midst of the girls' reactions, hoping to see you proud of her; so the look of horror in your face wasn't what she expected.

when everyone left to pursue the woman and the armed-man, you stood there—terrified, eyes darting between melissa's injured form and lottie's confused one.

you knew lottie was going to need you the moment you saw her kneeling down next to the dead body, yet you still chose to go with the others and ran after the unknown visitors.

the last thing you saw before disappearing into the woods was your girlfriend tenderly caressing the man's bloodied head, covering herself with his warm blood and spreading the crimson-red liquid all over her face.

your body ached as you ran, your head fuzzy and filled with concern for her. you were already aware of how everyone would react to seeing her like that; how they would judge her, calling her fucking crazy for doing what it wanted—because they would immediately stop believing in the wilderness after witnessing the way lottie acted.

you couldn't justify her acts because you weren't like her, you didn't understand it. the wilderness was a belief you took as a coping mechanism, to have an answer to all the questions you had 24/7. lottie could tell you were strong, could tell you could have a bond with it if you truly wanted to, but you didn't have the heart to tell her you didn't think like she did.

shamelessly, you couldn't help but blame her schizophrenia at times for the changes she suffered.

as the sun came up, you and the rest of the team found your way back to camp, though with the addition of someone new.

the way lottie's sun-kissed skin was coated with dry blood made your stomach churn. her whole face—even her mouth—was painted, your body trembled as you noticed chunks of brain in her hair and clothes.

no one mentioned anything—not even when standing right in front of her—, but you could tell she wasn't as content as she was when you last saw her.

after hannah introduced herself, you took some steps closer to your girlfriend and hesitantly grabbed her hand. "c'mon, lott, let's get you cleaned up." you said as you slowly began walking towards the lake, your heart clenching as lottie tried to complain before ultimately following you.

"you understand it, right?" she broke the odd silent as the two of you sat down on some rocks by the lake, her voice quivering faintly as she stared at you. "it needed to be done." she then added.

you dipped your hand into the cold-ish water before delicately wiping away the blood from the girl's face. "mhm... o-of course." you replied some moments later, trying your best to hide how badly you wanted to throw up.

she softly placed her hands on your lap—not caring about staining you—and closed her eyes as you continued. "it will all get better, don't worry about it..." she murmured before leaning in, placing a little kiss to your dry lips—once again, not caring about staining you—.

[dark-ravens-stuff]

JEALOUSLY, JEALOUSLY!

pairing: lottie matthews x fem!reader ~ requested

summary:  after a falling out with lottie in middle school, you two had steered clear of each other until your love for soccer forces you two to rekindle your long-lost friendship. but when the same flame of unknown jealousy is reignited, you realize that your falling out had been a simple miscommunication. 

warnings:  miscommunication trope (sort of). jealous!lottie & jealous!reader. slight angst with lots of comfort. happy ending! pre-crash

word count. 2.6k || masterlist

The day you stopped talking to Lottie, it rained. 

Dark gray clouds lingered in the distance as you hopped off the bus and began skipping into school without the incoming weather having much effect on your mood. Middle school had its ups and downs, but you enjoyed getting to spend most of your time with your best friend. 

You and Lottie had been connected at the hip since sixth grade started. Rarely were one of you seen without the other. There was only one class period in which you two didn’t share, but after that, you met up at the cafeteria entrance before eating lunch together. 

One class period didn’t seem like much, it was less than an hour of the day. But it was enough for Lottie to befriend Robin, a boy in your grade. He was nice but nothing extraordinary, you thought. 

You didn’t have a problem with Lottie having other friends, especially when they had met in a class you two weren’t even together in. What bothered you was how close the two had gotten over the course of the school year. 

You didn’t understand why seeing them laughing together in the halls or sharing homework answers before school started got under your skin. Lottie a couple of other friends, as did you. None of them were as close as the two of you were to each other, though. But you tried to swallow down a new, festering feeling of jealousy that bubbled up in your throat like bile each time you spotted them smiling or lightly touching the other’s shoulders when doubled over in laughter. 

When the rain broke that day, so did you. 

You tapped your foot against the floor as you watched your lunch hour tick by on your watch. Lottie was never late, not by more than five minutes. She hadn’t looked sick or mentioned having to leave early for a doctor’s appointment that day. 

For a moment, you started to worry. Maybe something had happened and she needed you. 

However, that worry was soon squashed under the toe of Lottie’s boots when you spotted her at her locker, sharing a quick kiss with Robin in the empty hall. 

Best friends were supposed to be happy for each other when crushes were returned and relationships were surefire. With your other friends, you had excitedly listened to the stories of their first kisses and dates. Never did their words or actions leave you with a belly tied in a knot and that horrible feeling stuck in your throat when you were on the verge of crying. So why did watching Lottie kiss a boy make you feel betrayed? You didn’t know. 

It made you sick and it made you angry. Oh, and you had let Lottie know. 

You and Lottie had never fought, but that day you did. Insults were thrown, spiraling into an argument that left you both storming off in steaming anger. 

When you exited the bus at your stop, raindrops rolled down your nose and your shoes turned soggy from the puddles on the street. 

Lottie didn’t call that night so you two could work on your history homework together. You didn’t meet her at her locker to walk to first period the following day. She moved seats in English and you switched seats in science. The gap grew further, a puddle between you turning into a river, then a pond, and eventually an ocean. You roamed the same halls, listened to the same lectures, but the distance grew too great that neither one of you wanted to cross it. 

So neither one did, and it became the new normal. Your best friend became a stranger. 

You thought it’d stay that way. Once high school started, you hardly saw Lottie anymore. Sometimes you’d forget how close the two of you had been, but something would remind you how things had been, and a dull ache spread through your chest. A photograph of you two that had fallen behind your dresser that you found while cleaning, Lottie’s laugh echoing down the hallway, even something as simple as a charm bracelet she once complimented sent you back to middle school, before your fight and your stupid feelings. 

Why couldn’t you just be happy for Lottie? Why couldn’t she have called you on your birthday and pretend like nothing ever happened? Why couldn’t you have understood your feelings stemmed from jealousy that made you green in the face? Maybe if you had figured out sooner that you liked girls, that you liked Lottie as more than a friend, you could have stopped the fallout. 

Instead, you believed you’d go the rest of your life without Lottie, existing parallel of each other, always within reach but still miles away. 

But that changed at soccer tryouts. 

The first thing you spotted walking out onto the field was Lottie. She had her hair fixed in pigtails and workout clothes on. A pair of cleats hung over her shoulder, their laces tied together. 

You froze on the sideline, hands already sweaty despite the cool breeze in the air. Before you could turn away, she caught you staring. Her switch of attention was noticed by the girl she had just been speaking to Laura Lee. The blonde smiled at you and excitedly waved you over. You don’t know what exactly possessed you to walk towards them, whether it was Laura Lee’s bright smile or the chance to be close to Lottie again after so long. Whatever it was, you approached the two girls with a tense smile and a small wave. 

“I didn’t know you were trying out too!” Laura Lee said excitedly. 

Your heartbeat quickened and your shoulders were probably noticeably tensed. “Yeah. I thought I’d give it a shot.” 

Laura Lee nudged Lottie’s arm. “Us too! I was just telling Lottie here that I heard they like to keep a larger JV team in case any of the girls on varsity get hurt. Apparently, it happens a lot; they need a couple of alternates.” 

“Good to know,” you said, eyes drifting from Laura Lee to Lottie, only to see her already staring at you with an unreadable expression. 

“Oh! Van’s here. I’ll be right back!” Laura Lee rushed off to meet with an excited redhead who had just walked out of the school, leaving you and Lottie alone. 

You rocked back on your heels, feeling awkward in the tense air that you were left in. 

Lottie cleared her throat. “Uh, are you ready for tryouts?” she asked, making small talk. 

“Yeah, I think so. Not trying to get my hope up too high, though,” you said, taking a break from Lottie’s pretty eyes to gaze around all of the girls gathered on the field. 

“You’ll do great.” Lottie’s voice was filled with a sincerity that caught you off guard. Your lips smiled as a reflex, some of the tension unwinding. 

Soccer then became your gateway back into the life of Lottie Matthews. What began as simple, polite small talk on try-out day grew into something that bordered on friendship after you both made the team and had to spend three days a week after school together. As the team bonded, so did the two of you. It was as if your falling out was old history forgotten in the weeds of middle school and renewed in the fever of high school. You weren’t back exactly where you had been a couple of years ago, but you were friends and that was more than you thought you’d ever be with Lottie again. 

However, with friendship came the stupid feeling that had bloomed in your chest before you understood what it meant. When Lottie smiled at you, you had to fight against the heat in your cheeks or when she looped her arm with yours, you had to ignore the butterflies in your stomach. The last thing you wanted was to ruin what you guys had again. You finally had Lottie back in your life, admitting your crush would only break you two again. 

So, you ignored it the best you could and wished for the feeling to go away. 

That was made a bit easier when you started to befriend more girls on the team. 

“Another great game, if I do say so myself,” Mari said, slinging an arm around your shoulders as you two started to walk back to the locker room. 

You laughed, poking her side. “You’re lucky you’re quick on your feet. Tai looked ready to kick your shins in when you almost missed her pass, twice.” 

Mari rolled her eyes. “I’m a showman! I want the audience to be entertained, spice things up a little.” 

Bushing past her Tai shot Mari a sharp look. “They’d be entertained if you just played the fucking game.” 

“Hey,” Van jumped into the conversation, patting Tai on the shoulder. “Relax. We won! We’re probably the best team, like, ever.” 

Van had a knack for making Tai smile, even when she was pissed off, which the team was grateful for. Even though Tai wasn’t the team captain, she held a certain authority on the field that they respected, but she could be a little too intense sometimes. 

The two went ahead into the locker room, but Mari pulled you to a stop at the water fountain, needing to fill up her water bottle. 

You leaned against the cool, painted cinder block wall as the game’s adrenaline slowly left your bones. 

“Whatcha doing tonight?” Mari asked, paying more attention to you than her water bottle. 

You shrugged. “Not sure yet. Why?” 

“Well, I heard Mark’s Dinner is giving out free milkshakes tonight if you order a meal. Wanna go?”

A milkshake sounded good, you had to admit. You didn’t often hang out with Mari outside of school and soccer, but you enjoyed her company. Not to mention she was funny and pretty, a double win in your book. She was easy on the eyes and easy to talk to; she enjoyed gossiping about everything that breathed in New Jersey, which was endlessly entertaining. 

“We can even split one. Two straws and everything like we’re in Grease or some shit,” Mari added, a playful smile on her lips and a light dusting of pink across her cheeks. 

You opened your mouth to agree, but a hand curled around your shoulder, stopping you. 

“Sorry, we have plans tonight, remember?” Lottie’s voice sounded from behind you. She had taken her hair down, leaving it in knotty curls from the game, and there was a smear of dirt across her cheek from a fall she had taken after getting the ball stolen. 

You were confused; you didn’t remember making any plans with Lottie, but it was possible it had slipped your mind. 

Mari furrowed her brows. “Oh, uh, okay. Whatever. Maybe another time then?” 

You nodded and she screwed the cap back onto her water bottle before slipping into the locker room. You turned to face Lottie as she dropped her hand on your shoulder. “We made plans?” 

She looked somewhat sheepish, glancing down at her feet. “Sort of.” You tilted your head in question and she sighed. “Fine, no. We didn’t but I…I don’t know. Do you really want to hang out with Mari?” 

“Mari’s cool,” you said, a bit defensively. 

Lottie rolled her eyes. “Cool? She was totally flirting with you!” You were surprised by the rise of Lottie’s voice and the flustered look on her face. 

“Mari? No way.” You scoffed. “I don’t think she’s into girls.” 

“She just offered to split a milkshake.” 

“Right, she may as well have proposed,” you joked dryly. “Seriously, Lot. What does it even matter?” 

“It matters!” She pressed her lips into a thin line, draining the color from them for a prolonged moment before she sighed, tossing her head back. “I mean, do you…like Mari?” 

Mari was cool and she was pretty, but like wasn’t exactly what you would describe it as. Maybe if you split a milkshake and learned that she too liked girls, maybe you could. But if you were being honest with yourself, it was difficult not to compare every girl you thought about forcing yourself to have a crush on just to get over Lottie, to Lottie herself. It was just so difficult. Lottie was your best friend, even when you spent years apart and not talking, a part of you kept her in your heart. Now that you two were cool again, that crush came back without taking pity on you. 

“I don’t know,” you said with a shrug. “Would it matter if I did?” 

Lottie looked at you like you had grown three heads. “Of course it would!” She stepped closer, lips downturned in a frown. 

“Why?” 

She sputtered for a response, stumbling over words in a way you’d never seen you do before. It confused you. Finally, she huffed out a breath and shook her head. “Maybe because I want to get a milkshake with you, like we’re in Grease or some shit,” she said, repeating the very words Mari had minutes ago, in which Lottie had accused of being flirtatious. 

You stilled, wondering if you had heard her right. “What are you saying?” 

“Not being friends with you sucked,” Lottie started. “I hated it. I hated that you didn’t even tell me why you were so pissed at me. It was like one second we were best friends and the next, you were accusing me of not wanting to be your friend anyone. But that wasn’t true.” 

Since the return of your friendship, you hadn’t spoken about your fall out in the middle; the stupid fight spawned by your jealousy that you had such a hard time admitting to. 

“I…Well, okay. Maybe it was true a little bit,” Lottie sighed. 

Your heart squeezed uncomfortably inside your chest like someone had sunk their fingers into it. “You didn’t want to be my friend?” 

“No, I did. I wanted to be your friend but I think I wanted more, maybe. But that was really confusing and scary. I didn’t know what that meant so I tried to pretend like it didn’t mean anything. Then I started talking to Robin. He reminded me of you. Just, you know, if you were a boy. So I wasn’t scared to…to kiss him. Or to like him. But the more I thought about it the more I realized I was just trying to replace you, I guess. But as much as he was like you, he wasn’t you.” 

You felt dizzy. The world around you was spinning so quickly you could hardly understand everything Lottie was saying, and she wasn’t even done. 

Lottie covered her face with her hands like she was embarrassed or fractured, maybe both. “You were mad at me and I was too stubborn to make you tell me why, exactly. Even though I missed you like crazy. I only kept dating Robin because it felt like you were still there with me. It was lame, I know but I didn’t know what else to do, or how to deal with it, okay?” 

“I wasn’t really mad at you,” you rushed out before your brain would let you chicken out of spilling your guts. Lottie lowered her hands to her sides, staring at you with her big, sad, brown eyes. “I-I was jealous. Suddenly Robin had all of your attention, and I realized…” You trailed off, struggling to put your words together. 

Taking a step forward, Lottie closed some of the distance between the two of you. “You realized what?” 

You couldn’t look her in the eyes as you said, “That I wanted to be Robin.” 

Silence filled the gap between you two. An understanding, an apology, everything occurring all at once. You finally met her gaze again, only to Lottie smiling at you. You couldn’t help but smile back, a laugh following the waterfall of confessions. 

“Shit,” Lottie laughed. “This whole time we were just….” 

“Idiots,” you said, finishing her sentence. 

“I guess there’s really only one thing to do now, huh?” 

You beamed, giddiness replacing the ache in your chest. “Milkshakes?” 

“Milkshakes.”

[dark-ravens-stuff]

One month and mother will be back. 🏹🏹🏹

[dark-ravens-stuff]

Lottie taking pics of nat :33

[dark-ravens-stuff]

Lottie relationship headcanons

Lottie Matthews x Female reader

Warnings- she’s not really mentally stable, these are for after she was rescued so it’s not fluffy. This is shorter than i would’ve liked.

Content under the cut-

• When she was rescued from the woods after living there for 18 months, she was obviously extremely different. She didn’t have that same bright smile that could light up any room. Instead, her expression was always blank.

• She wouldn’t even talk to you. There were days where she didn’t even let you touch her. Her body language was always hostile, and her eyes were always searching the area around her, as if she was afraid someone, or something, would come out of thin air.

• The first thing she said to you months after she got rescued was “It wasn’t my fault that they killed him.” You had no idea what she meant, but you agreed with her anyway. it wasn’t her fault.

• After that, things got worse. She started acting weird. Sometimes, she would stare at the wall for hours straight, saying nothing, Other times, she would draw this weird symbol. A triangle with a circle and two lines…? you didn’t know what it meant, but if it helped her cope so be it.

• You couldn’t figure her out. No matter how much you tried.

•Most days she liked cuddling. She wanted to be the big spoon since she wanted to be your protector in case something bad happened during the night. It was sad how locked into the memory of the cabin she was, but you let her do it anyway.

• In the mornings, after a shower, after breakfast she still looked dazed and tired. You knew that sometimes, after waking up, she wouldn’t say anything.

• After she got somewhat better, she was super clingy and affectionate. But she needed to initiate touch.

• She never left your side during the day. And you couldn’t blame her. Sometimes, on those days when she just didn’t want to move, when she was really upset, all you did was hold her close, rubbing soothing circles on her back if she let you.

• She was scared of everything. Especially fire. It made her skin crawl. You couldn’t even light a candle in the living room without her jumping practically 3 feet in the air.

• She likes it when you kiss her forehead scar. She says it makes her feel safe. You don’t mind doing it, because it reminds you that she’s okay, that she is alive. It brings you some peace too.

• She constantly has nightmares. Most mornings you wake up with a tear stained shirt because she was too scared to wake you up to comfort her.

• She used to be a bit of a picky eater, but ever since she came back from the wilderness, she’ll eat anything. Even things she used to hate.

• She doesn’t like to sleep alone anymore. She prefers to sleep with her head on your chest, listening to your heartbeat. If she can’t fall asleep, you hold her close, and stroke her hair, until she falls asleep.

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Requests are open! send in some requests PLEASE.

[dark-ravens-stuff]

thinking deeply about how alone and afraid lottie felt in her head with the knowledge that her medication was going to run out. thinking deeply about lottie trying to keep a strong face and be there for others while dealing with the mental and physical spiral of withdrawal. thinking deeply about lottie fighting in her head between the mental illness she was loathed for all her life and the terrifying peace of what the world sounds like without her father in her head.

[dark-ravens-stuff]

@ aguaytsangre

[dark-ravens-stuff]

you and me, forevermore | lottie matthews

— pairing: post-crash lottie matthews x gn!reader

— summary: after lottie leaves swizterland and comes back home to you for new year's eve, you make the hasty decision to propose to her just before the ball drops. (based on this)

— wordcount: 734

You've been glued to Lottie's side ever since she got back.

The two of you spent at least two hours cuddling in bed before you suggested going out into the living room to celebrate New Year's Eve with everyone, only if she wanted to of course. You would have had no issue if she refused; you'd still be with her in your stuffy room. She agreed though, mostly because of how enthusiastic you seemed to be now that she was back. That moment when she first locked eyes with you again, she saw how dead the light in your eyes was. It was like you weren't even there. It reminded her of how she felt after they all got rescued. But when you registered that she was there, that she was actually real and not a figment of your imagination, the light suddenly seemed to return, more alive than ever. You looked alive.

Your mom had told her how depressed you were over not being able to be with her for the holidays, and the end of December just reminded you that it would be another year without Lottie. To be completely honest she has no idea how your mom arranged it all; all she knew was that she paid for her to leave Swizterland and that was that.

Now, she's back home where she belongs.

She's missed your loud family. She's missed talking with your little cousins and nieces and nephews. She's missed sitting on your living room couch while you rub your thumb over her hand because you know she's sensitive to the noise. She's missed you most of all though. The thought of catching up with you and knowing she has all the time in the world to do so makes a lazy smile appear on her lips, and she snuggles her face in closer to your neck as you sway your bodies from side to side.

You glance behind Lottie and look at the TV, feeling your heart sink when you notice the timer is reaching 10 seconds.

"You love me right? Like, really love me?"

Lottie lets out a small chuckle and shakes her bangs out of her face as she pulls back from your neck, giving you a confused eyebrow raise. "I really love you. Do you really love me?"

You smile bashfully and dip your head down, licking your lips and slightly shaking your head when you realize there's no time to be all giddy. You need to propose now. "Yes. I wanna spend the rest of my life with you, Lottie."

Everyone gathers around the TV now, holding hands or beer bottles. A buzzing inside your ears causes you to lose track of your thoughts for a second, but Lottie's soft hand on your cheek brings you back.

5...

4...

You continue, looking back in her eyes and finding yourself falling even deeper and becoming even dizzier. "I wanna wake up next to you forever."

3...

"I wanna cook breakfast for you in our apartment and watch shitty television with you on the couch."

2...

You take a deep breath. "I know you just came back today but, fuck, Lottie, I love you so much. I wanna marry you."

1...

The ball drops, and all you can hear is the sound of your family hollering and people setting off fireworks outside.

Lottie doesn't say anything for a moment, and you're not even conscious enough to realize that you didn't even get your New Year's kiss with her. She doesn't look mad or sad or anything actually, but her eyes are big and round, full of tears swimming in them. You assume the worst, and before you can open your mouth to apologize for doing this too soon, she smashes her lips on yours so hard that you stumble back. She kisses you so furiously that it's almost like she's trying to eat you, bones and all. She kisses like a bite.

She barely pulls back from your face as she speaks, her mouth still ghosting on yours. "I do."

Tears well up and she begins to softly cry. She chuckles at herself as you wipe her cheek, head leaning into your hand and nuzzling against it. She kisses your fingertip and pulls you into a kiss once more, this time more gently.

"I wanna marry you too," she tells you, feeling all warm and fuzzy inside.

lottie taglist: @heliolottie 😝

[dark-ravens-stuff]

A portion of people within this fandom are really letting their discomfort with asexual people and virginity show.

I hate to break it to you, but there are people who make it to adulthood as virgins (and it isn't inherently tied to being religious.).

I need you guys to breathe and be realistic for 5 minutes, and also realize the implications of your exclamation about how impossible you find Lucanis being a virgin is. Maybe it's not within your scope of focus, but yes, it happens.

No, I don't care that he's a Crow. He specifically tells you that seduction is Illario's thing.

Yes, you can read romance and be in love with the idea (and even long for it for yourself!) and still not take that jump.

Sex is not casual for everyone. Casual sex is not for everyone.

Please sit with that before you guffaw and call it impossible.

[dark-ravens-stuff]

If anyone wants to listen to this:

I made a Playlist for my Mourn Watcher Rook, Rabastan.

My own caption for his introduction post inspired me to make one. I'm German, so there are a few German songs in there because I couldn't help myself. That said uuuuh here you go:

And yes, he is definitely listening to it when he's walking through the Necropolis Gardens.

[dark-ravens-stuff]

write that down, write that down!

[dark-ravens-stuff]

Soooo I've been watching Yellowjackets for the past few days, I'm already at season 2, and I'm literally obsessed witht he show? Season 3 is coming out in February, and I already can't wait.

The characters have me in a chokehold like seriously.

[dark-ravens-stuff]

I might have created an Elf, Grey Warden Warrior Rook and I'm excited to show him to you all!

That said, I can't do that right now, because I have to go to sleep cause I have work tonight buuuuut I'll show you tomorrow...probably.

[dark-ravens-stuff]

Saw this post & my brain and heart couldn't resist reblogging Josephine

Started replaying dai and couldn't resist drawing Josephine