davidearle

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Nobody:

Me: Justin Bailey is Samus's deadname I will not be taking any questions.

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fresh, clean no-terf version for reblogs!

Your mom and aunts aren’t on tumblr.  Please warn them about this as well. 

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I don't know about sleep paralysis, but is it something like this?

You are having a normal, good dream when you get on a bike behind someone. You get a grip on the bike, but only properly with one hand. The other is just slightly off the grip, where it can't support you.

You ride, and the wind and sheer speed slowly push you back, until you feel like you'll fall if your grip slips. You are not wearing a helmet, and to fall is to destroy yourself utterly. A shattered skull at the very least.

But you are moving very fast, and you only have a grip with one hand, the other only gripping by the pads of your fingers, and you are terrified to let it slip for even the second it would take to readjust in case a turn sends you flying off the bike.

But the temptation is there, regardless, to just let go and let the worst happen . Because you are very tired, and the speed is so great. And that is how you stay, the fear growing with every moment.

Until you force your eyes awake, dispelling the dream. And you force one arm to move, so you can get up and leave the dream behind. But that feeling of death lying behind you doesn't leave you.

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not to be a number nerd on main but 2025 (45^2) will be the only square year most of us ever experience. the last one was 1936 and the next one will be 2116

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“I told you once that I was searching for the nature of evil. I think I’ve come close to defining it: a lack of empathy. It’s the one characteristic that connects all the defendants. A genuine incapacity to feel with their fellow man. Evil, I think, is the absence of empathy.” - G.M. Gilbert

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OP: Customer service wants video proof that my rice cooker is giving electric shocks

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Haters

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<3 MY BODY IS SO READY FOR THIS SPECIAL <3

Finally, some GOOD fucking content <3

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I’ve started to say “I need time to process this.”

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That is Patches in a wig, these elves are getting scammed.

Drow supplicants summon the avatar of Lolth (Terry Dykstra, "Gods of the Underdark" chapter of DMGR4: Monster Mythology, supplement for AD&D 2e, TSR, 1992)

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I am spoiling the live action Lilo & Stitch. And I am doing it up front and plainly.

Do not fucking see this movie. Do not waste your money on this. Period.

They made Nani give Lilo up to the American government. They made Nani LEAVE Hawaii and pursue being a marine biologist. They made a native Hawaiian character give up her sibling to pursue a dream that she originally did not have. This is imperialist propaganda at its FINEST.

The original fucking movie is about family staying together. It's about indigenous people being able to stay with each other and stay in their home and be together! That's the whole fucking point! Nani is Lilo's last living relative on her homeland—it is jarring, it is disgusting and disturbing that Nani would not only leave her last blood relative alone, give her up to the very government that is harming native Hawaiians TODAY, but also travel to the "mainland" for her dream!

Not to mention, Nani's actress isn't fucking Hawaiian. She's much paler in photos and real life. They fucking darkened her for this movie.

Don't even get me started on the transgender subtext of Pleakley's "human" disguise from the original movie being completely erased in favor of him being played by a regular ass white man. Jumba doesn't have his accent, they made him more villainous, and his "human" disguise is a non-fat white man—which part of his original joke, I know, is that he was bigger and was more clumsy in the movie because of his size, but to have the main shape of his character completely removed is also fucking weird.

This live action movie is a desecration to the original. I encourage you to not see it, please. Don't give Disney any of your money on this one. Just watch the original. Please just watch the original.

The new message in the live action movie is disturbing and gross.

This is one of the most disrespectful live actions I've seen and heard of. I implore you to not watch it.

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In case anyone's curious we get tax credits on children, up to $2,000 per under 16 year old. I don't know how that compares to Denmark but I'm guessing it's not great.

TurboTax Tip from when I looked this up: If you own a business, employing your child might enable you to take a business expense for the wages that you pay your child.

Because I only ever saw Americans talk about wanting paid pregnancy leave I assumed you at least got a bit of child support from the government but after your government offered to pay women a one time cash reward for giving birth I realize that you don’t?

I mean not every single country in Europe give families child support until the child is 18 years old so I don’t know why I thought the US did. And it’s not a HUGE sum of money but enough to make life a little bit easier for families. Here in Denmark the base sum is 243 usd a month per child but you get more if the caregiver have a low income and if they have zero income it goes up with 100% because its important to the government that the child grows up to become a good worker.

Because that’s the thing. It’s not about being nice. It’s all to make good workers so our society can keep going. Again it amazes me that some countries don’t want good workers.

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Barnes and Nobles is gonna start serving food and alcohol.

Everybody’s cracking jokes about how it’s a desperate attempt to stay relevant in the age of Amazon.

But you know what? Props to them. This is exactly what Blockbuster didn’t do. At no point was Blockbuster like “Hey, movie rentals aren’t the lucrative enterprise they once were. Perhaps it’s time we become known for our cheesy garlic bread.”

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happy glorious 25th of may

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This is officially the creepiest Google has ever gotten.

Hey Marvel I got an Iron Man pitch for ya!