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We looked inside some of the posts by daysofgrace-blog1 and here's what we found interesting.
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17
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16May2019
I’m not gonna waste any more time on you, or how much you’ve hurt me. You didn’t show up on my grad night cuz you don’t know how to keep commitments. I shouldn’t be mad at you for breaking commitments, if that’s who you are then that’s who you are.
I stopped writing because you’re not worth my time or energy anymore. And neither is your sister, leaving me immature, threatening voicemails. For someone my age, she acts 14 quite a lot.
You gave up on the one person that never has and never would have quit on you. Now you get to live with that, not me. Out of all the guys that wanted only your body, I only wanted your heart.
God bless you amber. This is where I leave you.
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9May2019
I have loved you in silence, and that is how I have missed you.
But forgetting you was loud.
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8May2019
I loved you more than I had room for
and i I regret none of it.
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6May2019
Of all the people in my life that would eventually give up on me,
I wouldve listed you dead last. And I hope someday you find peace and self love in what I just said.
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5May2019
It’s sad that you’ve yet to grasp the concept of persistence. You want of these things that require persistence but you’re not willing to learn how to have it. You want to experience unconditional love, but unconditional love requires sticking it out through thick and thin and when times get rough, but every time times get rough, and every time things get thin...you leave. And this is why I just don’t understand you, because the things you want are perfectly attainable in life, it’s just that you’re not willing to put in what is required to get those things. You give up too easily.
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3May2019
You will never meet another man that will accept you as you are, more than I did.
You walked away from the one person that DIDN’T want your body from the get go.
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1May2019
I made the decision to give you the lei.
Not because it was out of sadness or trying to make a statement or ruin your space. I did it because my entire life I’ve let myself change every time somebody treats me badly, or hurts me, or makes me feel worthless. Like you. I’m not going to allow that any more in my life.
I’m not going to allow the way others choose to treat me to dictate who I am as a person. Yeah you hurt me, yeah you gave up on me, yeah you just dropped me and let me suffer alone like you don’t give a damn. Whatever. I’m not gonna let you, or anybody else, affect who I wanna be a what I wanna do. You people don’t deserved that victory.
I gave you the lei because thinking of others, and giving, and being kind to other people is what makes me happy. Genuinely happy. I did it not because yo deserve it, but because I do. I did t because I know how much Pāhoa means to you, so I knew flowers from there would mean a lot too.
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30April2019
Today, from the time I woke up until the time I actually bought the leis, I was for sure going to buy a pua kenikeni lei, I just didn’t know how many I was going to buy. I thought it over, over and over and over and over. You’ve hurt me so much, you gave up on me, you lost faith in me, you counted me out, you broke me, you gave me your darkness...and yet there I was contemplating whether or not to still buy you a lei. Oddly enough, the flowers came from Pāhoa. I decided to get you one. I may or may not regret it, but fuck it. You’re gonna do you, I can’t change that. But what I can change is and what I do have control over is how I serve God and serve others. And that’s nothing your cold heart can ever take away from me. So even if you were to throw the lei away tomorrow, I could give a rats fuck. I did what I wanted to do, because giving and doing things for others makes me happy.
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29April2019
You walked away from the first person in your life that fell in love with your soul before they even touched your skin.
Think on that for a few years.
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28April2019
You love the idea of the Living Unchained series but you don’t love the person who helped think it up?
You can comment on our post that you love it but you can’t take out a moment of your day to check on me while I spiral downward thanks to you?
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27April2019
You know, I feel so much hurt and betrayal from you. You think that you know what betrayal feels like just because you never felt first even though I gave you 1 million reasons to feel that you were first. But you don’t know true betrayal until the one person that can talk until they’re black and blue in the face about unconditional love, and loving somebody through thick and thin, and somebody that excepts you just as you are and still loves you even through your mistakes and your mental illnesses, and wanting a man that’s patient enough to try to understand you and learn exactly how you need to be loved...that same person is the one that walks away. That same person is the one that loses faith. That same person is the one who’s love IS conditional. That same person is the one that left when things got thin, instead of sticking it out through thick and thin.
Think you know betrayal but that’s because you’ve never met someone as hypocritical and contradicting as yourself. You don’t know what it’s like to be given up on the way you give up on others. And I hope you never do.
I truly hope you never do.
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25April2019
I’m trying my best to stay focused amber, I’m trying my best to stay strong for you and leave you alone so you can have your space. It fucking sucks, but I’m trying my best. For you.
Just want you to read this someday and know that.
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24April2019
So as you know, Jonah is moving to San Diego to pursue his pilot career. So today when him and I were waiting for the shuttle before we started work, he told me “I got a gift from the most unlikely person today. An expensive one too”. So after a few guesses I couldn’t get it. But he said it was from Sheri. And it was a $1300 bose aviation headset; noise cancelling, with the plug in for the airplane and the mic on the side. And she also gave him a card, that ended “I love you.”
Both of us were really caught off guard. Not only because of the act, but because of those words, and more importantly because of the ridiculously expensive gift. And although I was happy for him, it made me feel even more shitty inside. Because this person that caused him so much pain, and so much hurt...did something super philanthropic and selfless like that.
And yet, you don’t even care enough to check up to see how I’m doing. Yeah fuck me right? Who gives a crap if my health is at an all time worst? who cares if I have a lump in my balls? who cares if I cry my eyes out and down every single day amber? Who cares? Obviously not you.
But hey, as long as YOURE happy and as long as YOU have your space and as long as everything is on YOUR terms. Fuck me in the meantime. Nobody gives a shit about me. And that’s why I have the self-love that I have. Cuz nobody gives a shit about me anymore.
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