ddeonghwaa

[ddeonghwaa]

daisy | sung hanbin

this is part of the zb1 flowers series!

⇢ meaning: daisies represent new beginnings and innocence

⇢ pairing: hanbin x reader

⇢ warnings: exes to lovers, angst, fluff

⇢ synopsis: after not having time for each other in your college years, you and your boyfriend break up. by some twist of fate, you meet again a few years later.

⇢ word count: 2.4k

⇢ note: hanbin is genuinely so perfect and so easy for me to write for. i hope you all enjoy this little addition to the flower series, up next should be matthew! i am loving writing this so far :) this was kind of inspired by for the first time by the script so if you wanna listen to that while you read you can!

“i just don’t think this is working out, hanbin.”

those were the words he never wanted to hear from you, although he knew deep down that there was a strong sense of truth behind them. you both were going to college and invested in your own extracurricular activities, you had to go to classes and do homework and projects, and you also had to work in order to survive throughout your schooling. 

the harsh reality was, there was never really any time for just the two of you.

you were pacing the room back and forth, your eyes flitting to anything and everything that wasn’t hanbin, because you knew the moment your gaze met his, you would start crying. you didn’t want to have to do this, you wanted so badly for it to work out, but all of your attempts had proven this entire situation to be a lot more difficult than it originally seemed. 

you huffed out of frustration, finally deciding to sit down on the edge of the loveseat in hanbin’s living room. you found interest in the way a corner of the throw rug curled up, desperate to find the words to tell him that you didn’t want this to come to an end, but they never came. instead, your wants died in your throat and were replaced with the words you never dared speak until now, “i think we should break up.”

silence clung heavily to the air surrounding the two of you. hanbin knew it was coming, as did you, but it didn’t prepare you for the utter heartbreak either of you felt. you blinked, and a stray tear dripped down onto your cheek, much against your will, and alerted the boy next to you. 

in all honesty, he was trying to keep himself together too, but the moment he saw you crying he was able to easily forget about himself. within mere seconds he was on the floor in front of you, one of his warm palms made its home on top of your thigh, “hey, don’t cry, it’s okay.”

“that’s the thing, bin,” you sadly laughed, glossy eyes finally meeting with his, “it’s not.” 

he sighed, soon taking a seat next to you on the cushion of the loveseat, pulling you into his chest. almost immediately, you were a sobbing mess, and hanbin would be a liar if he said he wasn’t crying too, but it was mainly because he hated seeing you hurt so much. the two of you sat like that for a while, relishing in the last moments you would have as a couple, because you knew you would never get this back. 

it just wasn’t in the cards for you. 

the room had gone silent once again aside from an occasional sniffle erupting from the both of you. managing to get the strength to make eye contact with him, you couldn’t help but feel tears well up once again the moment his expression softened and the look of adoration in his eyes was reflecting back to you. 

parting your lips, your voice was barely above a whisper as you said, “i’m so sorry.”

“please don’t be,” hanbin was quick to respond, “you don’t ever have to be sorry for something like this. i know this is for the best. right person, wrong timing, right? maybe someday in the future, you and i can start over and see where it takes us, yeah? for now, we can just focus on college and trying to get through the next couple of years.”

you nodded, albeit reluctantly, and leaned up to press a sweet kiss to his lips, “i will always love you, hanbin.”

“and i will always love you, y/n, no matter what.”

after breaking up with hanbin, it was rare you were ever able to actually talk or see each other. college got far too busy and overwhelming for the both of you, and the little time you’d had to see each other before was completely diminished the more time went on. 

your heartache was finally beginning to subside, and you even attempted dating a couple of times since hanbin, but none of them worked. you’d managed to end up with people who you just didn’t have chemistry with or who were complete assholes, there was really no in between when it came to that. 

with college graduation coming up, you knew you would see hanbin. he would be walking across the same stage as you, having his name called, and his face plastered on the big screens around the arena the ceremony was being held in. 

he looked good, there was no doubt about that. he always did. you couldn’t help the way you gawked at him, or how well his graduation gown fit him, or how his hair was perfectly parted to the side how you remembered liking it to be. part of you wondered if maybe he did it on purpose, knowing you would be there to see, but you knew he wouldn’t be petty like that because you ended on such good terms. 

you didn’t expect to get so teary eyed seeing him for the first time in a little over a year, but you were dabbing away tears moments before you walked to receive your diploma, managing to play it off as being proud of yourself and your accomplishments.

you knew it was better off this way, but god, did it hurt.

as you were walking back to your seat, you made eye contact with him, offering a small, shy smile to him as you did you so. he returned it, his eyes forming into the pretty crescent shapes you loved so much, and he gave you a nod of acknowledgement, hands coming up in front of him to give you a clap. 

but little did you know, the moment you were out of his sight, he burst into tears.

“shit, shit, shit,” you hissed under your breath, one hand gripping your iced coffee and the other rummaging through your bag for your keys, but they were nowhere to be found.

this was the icing on your cake today; you’d missed your bus this morning, somehow managed to break the printer at work - which would be coming out of your paycheck, by the way - and had now lost the only way to get into your apartment after a long and stressful day.

you groaned in frustration, looking through your belongings once more before finally admitting defeat and deciding to walk back downstairs to the front desk in hopes of them having a spare so you could crawl into your bed and sleep for the rest of the night.

you messed around inside your bag as you walked, not paying any attention to the path in front of you, and inevitably ramming into someone, your coffee exploding in your hand and soaking your clothes and most likely your neighbors’.

“oh my god, i’m so sorry,” you exclaimed, eyes scanning the damage that had been done, feeling a pang of guilt wash over you at the sight of a giant wet patch on the stranger’s crisp, white t-shirt.

there was a chuckle from the other person, “that’s okay, y/n.”

your head snapped up at the use of your name, eyes nearly falling out of your head from how wide they had gotten at the sight in front of you. sung hanbin, your ex-boyfriend, and now the person you spilled a cold coffee all over. to say you were surprised to see him was an understatement - you had thought he was abroad somewhere to broaden his teaching practices.

“h-hanbin?” you managed to stutter out, looking around the hallway to see if anyone else was around and whether or not you were imagining this, “do you - do you live here?”

“i do, i suppose we’ve just never run into each other,” he flashed the same smile that still somehow made butterflies go crazy in your tummy.

you blinked slowly, somehow still unable to believe that this was happening to you, “how long has it been since we last talked? a couple of years maybe?”

he nodded, “i think so,” he quirked an eyebrow up in question, “if you don’t mind me asking, what were you in such a hurry for?”

you laughed, defeatedly looking back down at the mess you’d created in your haste to get downstairs, sheepishly replying, “i kind of lost my keys and was going to see if there was a spare available.”

hanbin chuckled, and you knew by the way he did so he was about to say something you didn’t want to hear, “i hate to be the bearer of bad news, but the front desk is closed for the weekend.”

“of course it is,” you remarked, “this is just how my day is going.”

hanbin appeared to be contemplating something, almost as if having a battle within his own brain, before finally stating, “if you need somewhere to stay, you can stay in my apartment for the weekend. you can have my bed and i can sleep out on the couch.”

if there was something you would never, ever forget about sung hanbin, it was his kindness. no matter what the situation was, he was always putting others before himself and offering a helping hand whenever anyone needed, and you were sickeningly reminded of how he’d always treated you so well when you were together despite not getting to spend much time together.

you were baffled, to say the least.

“i don’t wanna be a burden or anything, so i-” you began but he cut you off almost immediately.

“i knew you would say that, and i promise you that i wouldn’t have offered if i didn’t mean it.”

your gaze met with his, and the sincerity behind his eyes was hard to miss. you tried to suppress any past feelings for him that threatened to rise up as you nodded, merely following him to his front door and into his apartment, which was so wholeheartedly hanbin.

it smelled of his cologne and was neat, not a single thing out of place, just like it had been in his college apartment. you shyly walked in behind him to the living room, taking a seat on his plush couch the moment he motioned for you to do so.

“is there anything i can get for you? i want you to be as comfortable as possible while being here,” hanbin asked, taking a seat next to you, his eyes glittering in the dim lighting, taking shape of those pretty little crescents you remembered so vividly.

“i think i’m okay for now,” you answered honestly, “i just appreciate you letting me stay here, you honestly saved me a lot of trouble.”

a little while later, after a small debate between the two of you broke out about borrowing one of hanbin’s shirts since yours was soaked with coffee, a comfortable silence had fallen between the two of you; he was cooking up a meal in the kitchen and you’d found interest in a book he had sitting on his table.

you couldn’t help but steal a glance at him every once in a while, having memories of moments exactly like this from your college years flooding your brain. you shook your head, training your eyes back onto the words of the page you’d reread over and over because you just couldn’t focus.

“am i right in thinking you don't like onions?” he asked, eyes now gently trained on you as you registered his question in your mind.

how he remembered such a miniscule detail about you blew your mind, though you tried not to let that show, “yeah, they’re disgusting.”

hanbin chuckled at your response before he finished up making your dinner plates and sat down next to you on the couch, handing you the meal he had made for the two of you to eat. you thanked him quietly, digging into your meal with a content sigh. you couldn't help but take note of the way hanbin’s gaze stared into you.

you finally had the courage to meet your eyes with his, a shy smile forming on your lips as you chewed on your rice, “is everything okay?”

“can i say something, y/n?”

you nodded, nervous for what he might say to you. maybe he was just gonna tell you to find somewhere else to stay for the weekend, but you knew hanbin, and your thoughts couldn't have been further from the truth.

“i never got over you from college, you know,” his words were carefully articulated, making sure to get his point across, “and seeing you a few years later, i think i’ve fully come to the conclusion that i never will.”

you swore you were going to choke on the bite of your food you had just taken. you blinked a few times, finally managing to spew out a response to him, “really?”

he laughed lightly, “of course. when i said i would always love you, i meant it,” he paused to gauge your reaction, “you’re just as lovely as you were back then.”

“i think i could say the same about you,” you answered honestly, having now set your utensils down on your plate, fully engaged in the conversation, “i’ve been thinking it since i ran into you in the hallway.”

hanbin had mirrored your actions, though he had set his entire plate on the coffee table. he scooted closer to you, hand finding it's home on your cheek, and you instantly melted into his touch. his gentle demeanor was something you missed so dearly, and feeling some form of physical contact with him after so long was something you didn't think you needed.

he leaned forward, a small smile adorning his lips before he met them with yours, causing your stomach to do backflips. you inched slightly closer to him, resting your hands on his chest, and allowing him to fully kiss you the way he intended.

he pulled away, pressing his forehead against your own, and asked, “would you like to try us again? see where it goes? maybe do all of the things we never got to do together in college?”

“i would love that.”

“good,” he responded, kissing you once more, “because you’re stuck with me regardless."

[ddeonghwaa]

the way he loves | sung hanbin

genre: a little angst, mostly fluff, comfort

pairing: reader (gn) x sung hanbin

about/tags: hanbin has no time for himself and is exhausted. though reader is worried about him, hanbin fears reader will leave him (1.1k words)

hanbin is overworked and spread too thin, yujin matthew and hao are mentioned, sleepy boy hanbin, he's doing his best for everyone 100%, y/n is just worried for him

“You need to stop doing that to yourself, Hanbin”

Hanbin looks up at you, confused. His eyebrows slightly knit together and he tilts his head to the side, as if questioning what exactly you mean. 

To be fair, you did bring it up out of the blue. You couldn’t help it though, he just looks so exhausted. Without any makeup, you can clearly see his dark undereyes, and his skin has gotten so much paler. His eyes are slightly red too, you presume from rubbing it to stay awake. Albeit the obviousness of sleep deprivation, he still showed up to your date today. 

You can tell he’s trying so hard for you. With that, you let out a deep sigh – hand extending across the table to get ahold of his. 

“I’m worried for you Hanbin-ah, I think you’re overworking yourself”

Taking your hand, he softly smiles at you. He brings the back of your hand to his lips, kissing it gently before saying  “Thank you for worrying about me, love. But I’m okay.” 

The vibrancy of his smile, while still plastered on his face, isn’t really there. But Hanbin changed the topic, and you let it go. You listened to him as he told you about the new choreography they’ve been learning and how they’re flying to Japan soon. He tells you that he’s been practicing his Japanese to communicate with fans more. 

Hanbin has always been the kind of person to always put other people before himself. It’s the way he loves. He’s never been the type to be burdened to help another person, it just comes so innately with him. Truthfully, it’s why you fell in love with him in the first place. To be loved by the most selfless person on the planet is something you were grateful for everyday.

Little by little, you start to understand how Hanbin got himself to this position. When they moved in at the dorms, he spent his nights helping Yujin with his homework after practice. You learned from Hao that Hanbin has been helping him with his Korean as well. On top of that, Hanbin has still been showing up to school, attending classes left and right. Yesterday, when he visited his mom at the café, he even picked up a few shifts in the kitchen for a part-timer that didn’t show up that day. And right now, he was carving out time for you when he could be resting.

You spend the next few days distancing yourself a little so that he has more time to himself. You don’t communicate this with him, because you know he’ll continue to insist that everything is fine. 

When you don’t respond to his texts with your usual energy, or stop making plans with him on the weekends, Hanbin genuinely starts to think he’s losing you. He feels like he’s grasping at straws when he invites you to come over at the dorm to watch a movie with him. He’s scared you’ll say no.

But you agreed mainly because you miss him, and you felt kinda guilty for icing him out like that. You rationalized that you would both just be at arm's length from a bed or a couch anyway. So when you arrive at the dorm for your movie date and find him peacefully asleep on his bed, you let him sleep. You patted his head, and tucked his blanket tighter against his body before turning off the lights in his room. 

When Hanbin wakes up, he thinks he messed up.

He looks around the room and wonders how he got there. Checking the time, it’s been 4 hours since he’s invited you over. He frustratingly puts his face in his hands, hating himself for falling asleep. 

He hears voices coming from the living room. Slowly following the sound, he finds both you and Matthew laughing at some Hollywood romcom he hasn’t seen before. There’s popcorn and beer laid out on the floor where you're both seated, and an array of pillows and blankets.

It looks like they’ve been at it for hours, Hanbin thinks to himself. It’s Matthew that notices him standing there first.

“Oh hyung, you’re awake!”

Even though he  says it excitingly, Hanbin can’t help but take it as a dig. You’re smiling at Hanbin and gesturing to him to sit down next to you, but he doesn’t notice. He’s too in over his head, thinking that he fucked up and thus easily replaceable. 

He needs water to clear his head. So he doesn’t respond and just walks to the kitchen. Confused, you get up to follow him.

Hanbin is opening the fridge when you wrap your arms around his waist, head resting in the middle of his back. He stands there and feels your embrace, placing his hands atop of yours as he lets out a deep sigh. Fridge door long forgotten, he says sorry first. 

“Sorry I fell asleep love, I didn’t mean to”. He sounds defeated. His head is hanging low, and he doesn’t turn around to face you, fearing your reaction. You simply hug him tighter and press a small kiss on his back, making sure he feels loved. 

“I didn’t wanna wake you, don’t beat yourself up over it”

Arms still holding him, you crane your neck to the side to see his face. He’s looking down at the floor and biting his lip, as if punishing himself. You use your left hand to force him to look at you instead. 

His eyes are searching yours, as if trying to read you. He looks anxious, as if his next words were crucial. 

“Don’t leave me, Y/N” 

His voice cracks at the slightest, and your heart breaks. Your eyes soften and you run your hand through the back of his head, gently stroking against his scalp. 

“I’m not leaving you silly, I love you too much”

He just gently nods repeatedly, relieved to hear you say that. This time, he engulfs you quickly into his arms, head resting atop yours. You can hear his heartbeat as you rest your ear to his chest. When it slows down, you ask him what he wants to eat for dinner.

You look up at him and he presses a chaste kiss to your nose. It tickles and you can’t help but smile widely at him. His arms are still resting at your waist when he responds.

“Anything you want, love.”

Even in moments like these, he simply yields to what you want. You nod at his response and decide to order his favorite food. You’ll have to have another conversation with him about prioritizing himself for once, but right now, you gladly do it for him.  

He cups his hands on either side of your jaw and brings you to a kiss. Only then, he finally smiles. 

A/N: This one is more fluffy and longer than I thought it would be. Thank you to the person who requested!

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[ddeonghwaa]

when they think you’re breaking up with them

a/n: no one talk about how some are longer or shorter than others 💀 @haesunflower hope u like it!! <3

zb1 x reader, lots of angst with all good endings! food mention kinda in matthew’s, mention of cheating in hanbin’s, reader is hinted to have mental health issues in ricky’s, gyuvin’s is a fake dating au, lots of miscommunication which i’m sure you guys love to see!! it doesn’t annoy anyone at all ever ☺️

kim jiwoong

fighting with jiwoong sucked because he could go for hours without faulting at all. he gets tired, sure, but he never slips or says something wrong.

“and i just think if you cared more, you’d actually put in effort into our relationship!” you said to him, and he rolls his eyes like a drama queen.

he says, his voice laced with a kind of venom you haven’t heard directed at you yet, “well if you think i put no effort into our relationship, even though i am trying my best to prioritize you, if i’m not good enough than we might as well break up!”

it baffles you that he would say that, but you double down, “fine!” you shout as you leave the room.

shit. he did not mean to say that. it just kind of came out. he didn’t even mean it, why would he want to break up? you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to him, why would he even insinuate that breaking up is wha you should do?

“wait!” he says, chasing after you. he gets a hold of your arm as you’re about to lock yourself in your room. you look up at him with those pretty, teary eyes, and his heart shatters, “i’m sorry, i didn’t mean that. please, let’s just talk like adults.”

after a moment of gathering your thoughts, you respond, “say it again, so i know you didn’t mean it,” you whisper, “tell me you didn’t mean it.”

he nods, biting his lip nervously, “i didn’t mean what i said. i don’t want to break up because i don’t know what i would do without you. so please stay with me.”

zhang hao

“why have you been avoiding me?” he asks, all of a sudden. you weren’t entirely ignoring him, but in truth, you were kind of giving him the cold shoulder.

“what do you mean?” you ask back, playing dumb. it just makes him more nervous and frustrated.

“don’t act like-!” he’s about to start, before sighing and rubbing his temples with his hand, “please, my love, i am so confused, i don’t know what happened and i just want to know what is going on,” he frowns, desperate just to get a decent response.

what happened was that he had forgotten about a date. it was so uncharacteristic of him, but he was busy and tired and he hasn’t even realized even now that he forgot something so important.

still, you don’t answer. he sighs, “fine, if you won’t talk to me, i’ll be in the other room.”

but after an hour, not even that long, he’s coming back out of his room to find you still in the kitchen, making yourself a cup of tea.

“hey,” he starts, “can i just ask you something?”

you hum in response. he gets nervous that you’re still going to ignore him, but then you reach into the cupboard for a second mug, for a second cup of tea. it gives him a glimmer of hope.

“i don’t know what i did, but if it’s serious enough to warrant… this.. i’m sorry, please don’t consider leaving. we can sort it out,” he whispers the last part. it leaves a considerable amount of tension in the air, as he throws out his biggest worries. please don’t go.

you finally respond as you hand him the second mug, talking softly, like you would talk to a toddler, “no more forgetting about our dates,” you murmur, and then it hits him. finally.

“oh my god! oh my god i’m so sorry!! i really didn’t remember! god why am i so dumb that i forgot our date? i’m so, so sorry,” he says exasperatedly, before looking back up at you.

even though it’s small, you’ve got that same adoring smile that makes his stomach do cartwheels and his ears bright red. he really couldn’t afford to lose you.

“make it up to me?” you ask, and he’ll do whatever you say.

sung hanbin

for the record, you were not cheating on hanbin. it was a misunderstanding. it was a text that was not meant for you, sent to you by accident from some unknown number while you were in the shower. he looked at it out of curiosity and now his insecurities have been eating away at him.

why would someone text them that? are they cheating? why? was he not good enough? what had he done wrong?

he hasn’t even brought it up to you, and you had no way of explaining yourself if you don’t know.

he was being extra nice today though. he made dinner for you when you came over to the dorm, he offered to rub your shoulders when you complained they were tense, he did all your dishes and didn’t once say something teasing or anything of the sort. he does all the things you like, being extra attentive and perfect tonight.

but it’s weird. he’s usually not this put together when it’s just you two. his hair is usually messier and his skin is bare and natural, yet tonight he looks particularly nice. he’s pretty all done-up like this, but it’s just so confusing as to why.

so you ask him. and he plays it off, trying to switch the topic, but after enough pressure, he tells you, “i just wanted to prove to you… that i’m good enough for you.”

“what made you think you’re not?”

he frowns, biting his lip anxiously, “i saw the texts on your phone. i’ll be a better boyfriend… so you don’t have to look elsewhere.”

“oh my god, hanbin- no, that’s not what’s happening at all! that was a wrong number. they meant to text someone else,” you say, almost frantically, reaching to grab his hand, “i swear i would never do that!”

and it all suddenly makes him feel so dumb. firstly, for not trusting you. and second, for thinking this whole time it was because he wasn’t good enough.

you cradle him close to you, like you were holding something delicate, and he rests his head in the crook of your neck. his tears stain the collar of your shirt.

seok matthew

“i think i’m gonna end things. it’s just not going very well, you know what i mean?” he hears you say, over the phone, to one of you friends he presumes. it makes him stop dead in his tracks, listening in, “no my partner’s not mean or bad at all! he’s actually really nice, but like… he can’t get anything done! like i can’t do everything, carry both of our weights.”

it makes his heart drop. sure he comes over too much that he should probably help more with chores or help you with whatever you need considering how hard you work. but did you really feel that way? why didn’t you come talk to him? were you really going to leave him?

when you leave your room to tell matthew ‘sorry, just had to call my friend about my partner for the big project-‘ the apartment is spotless. it’s tidy, there’s no dishes in the sink, the trash is taken out. it’s weird because it was not this clean 20 minutes ago. matthew is in the kitchen, cooking something, when you ask him.

“hey, did you clean up the apartment? it looks good,” you watch him out of the corner of your eye. why does he look so nervous?

“yeah, just thought i should pull my weight more around here,” he says. his voice is shaky, but you don’t say anything.

“well that sure is nice of you, but you don’t have to, matthew. i don’t mind cleaning myself,” you say, which contradicts what you had said earlier, but it’s fine. he assumes you’re trying to be nice.

not even a nickname though? you had to call him by his government name? this must be bad.

“really? i heard you talking with your friend on the phone,” he says. it’s almost reverse passive agressiveness, which is weird to think about.

“oh uh, yeah! i was gonna talk to you about that,” you say. oh boy, here it comes, “my partner for the big work project i was talking about is terrible! i gotta talk to my boss about it to see if i can get reassigned.”

he stops cutting vegetables for a moment to think about it all. to really take in what you just said.

you weren’t talking about him, you were talking about your work partner…

he chuckles to himself, smiling at how silly this all was, “oh yeah? that sucks, i hope you can get a new one, babe.”

he doesn’t see you smile because his back is turned to you, but he hears it in your voice, and he’s never been so relieved.

kim taerae

fighting with taerae sucks. he gets emotional so easily and any valid points you want to make go out the window because he’s crying and it doesn’t help to kick him when he’s down. he doesn’t do it intentionally, he just cries easily.

but when, for the fifth time this month, he’s forgotten about your dates because he’s been held up in practice and didn’t even bother to text, you tell him, “you might not be in a place to be in a relationship, taerae. you don’t ever have time for me anymore and i can’t put up with this forever. i don’t think this is working.”

and he sees his life flash before his eyes. he’s mortified of what you’re implying, “wait, no, please- please don’t say that!”

“it might before the best. i don’t want it either, but i can’t keep being let down,” you say.

he wants to respond, say all the things he knows you want to hear, it won’t happen again, i’ll be better, i’ll be the man you deserve. but he can’t promise it won’t happen again.

hours go by, and he knocks on your door. you let him in, and all he does is hug you, tightly. he’s gearing up for it to be the last time, “you know, you should leave me. i deserve it after not prioritizing you, but i love you so, so much,” he wipes the tears forming with his sleeve, “please don’t go. please. i’ll do anything for you to stay.”

and then he looks at you with those darling eyes. red from tears, you wipe them away as you cup his cheeks, “i’m happy that you’re chasing your dreams. i just want to be in them,” you tell him. he smiles sadly, letting out an exhale like he just dodged a bullet, “it’s okay, baby. just breathe.”

ricky

“i think we should break up,” you say. no chance for a miscommunication there. heard loud and clear.

ricky puts down his phone as he looks up at you, still clearly trying to process what you had said so suddenly, “okay.. and why do you want to do that?”

“i just think that i need some space. i’ve been going through so much lately and i think i’m not in a spot to be in a relationship right now. i think you deserve better,” you say.

it had definitely been a difficult few months because of stuff in your personal life and it felt wrong to shove all your problems onto your boyfriends plate when he was also a human being with feelings and emotions.

he stands up as he walks over to you, grabbing your hands in his and kissing your knuckles. you smile softly.

“first off, don’t say that i deserve better, because i only want you. and secondly, if that’s truly what you want, then okay. but if you’re only saying that to try and save me the trouble or the burden of being with you while you’re going through so much… i’m not going to let you do that,” he says, watching the tears start to prick at your eyes.

he pulls you closer so your head rests against him, feeling his pulse radiate through him as kind of like a constant reminder of him being there.

to him, being there for you is his purpose. you can’t push him away the second he has a chance to fulfill his calling.

“i know life is hard, my love, but you can’t push me away. i won’t let you,” he says, wrapping his arms around you, “there’s no going anywhere, you’re stuck with me.”

kim gyuvin

fake dating was supposed to make your life easier. after your last boyfriend (now ex) wouldn’t leave you alone, you did it so you would have a boyfriend to go on dates with so the world would think you were dating and leave you alone. you would have someone to scare off guys you didn’t like.

plus, he was in a similar situation, and wanted his ex to leave him alone. it worked.

until you told gyuvin that you wanted to end it. people weren’t bothering you anymore, and you felt like it was time.

part of it was because you were maybe getting too attached to him and knew if you stayed any longer, your fake relationship would get messy fast.

unfortunately, he was not going down without a fight, “what do you mean you wanna break up? why? what did i do?”

“nothing- but, i think this is getting kind of… weird. aren’t we not supposed to be really dating? our relationship just existed so that people wouldn’t bother us, right? so now no one is bothering us anymore. i think we’re in the clear,” you explain, but he just shakes his head.

“we’re in the clear because we’re in the relationship! it’ll go back to how it was if we break up!” he says. sure, he has a point. you just wish he’d let it go so your feelings didn’t get exposed.

“i just think it’s best if we stop fake dating,” you say, but he rolls his eyes.

“okay fine, you wanna break up our fake relationship? fine, on one condition,” he looks you in the eye, grabbing your hand. all of a sudden, he looks dead serious, “we have a real relationship. no more fake dating. just dating. not pretend anymore.”

it leaves you kind of speechless.

so he continues, “if there’s even a small part of you that likes me back, give me a try… because if i’m being honest, i haven’t been faking it for a while now.”

park gunwook

you and gyuvin were introduced to each other through gunwook, and, if he’s being honest, he regrets introducing you guys. you clicked immediately, in the same way you did not with gunwook.

you and gunwook initially butted heads, an academic rivals to lovers story, but once gunwook started upping the cuteness, you were won over. your personalities clashed a bit at the beginning, but it was worth it because now he is the most adorable, amazing boyfriend ever. his only flaw is that he’s jealous of the fact that you and his close friend are friends.

gyuvin is stupid easy to like, and he’s so naturally charming that gunwook can’t blame you for taking a liking to him. it just stings because, while he knows you’re loyal, gyuvin makes you laugh a little harder than gunwook can. it hurts his ego a bit.

so he asks you about it, “do you like gyuvin more than me?” he’s a little blunt, but he can’t help it.

“no? why would you ask that?” you ask in return, baffled by his sudden question.

“well you always laugh so much when he makes jokes like he’s so funny, you know i can be funny too!” he exclaims, he’s so expressive in all his movements.

but you just laugh at his jealousy, because it’s honestly adorable, “sure, gyuvin’s funny, but does he have your cute face?”

“…no,” gunwook pouts as you ruffle his hair.

“and does he have your cute smile? and is he crazy smart? does he quote philosophers like a nerd?” you ask, watching gunwook’s face go red, especially his ears, “that’s right. that’s why i’m with you, baby. i like you. don’t worry about him. i’m with you for a reason.”

han yujin

“what do you mean you want to break up?” he asks. he’s never had to take the question seriously before. break up? you guys were perfect for each other.

“i just… i think it’s best if we both moved on. you’re getting really busy with training and your debut, what if you get too busy for me?” you say. it’s not that you wanted to, but yujin is already missing school and skipping out on big plans you’ve been wanting to make because he’s got too much going on.

“i guess it’ll be hard, but i’ll make time for you! i promise!” he says.

“you have to put your dream first, yujin. i’ll still be here when you’ve achieved it. maybe in the future we can try again, when you’ve settled into your group more,” you tell him as he reaches for one of your hands, holding it in both of his, “you’ll be able to make time for me. we can be together then.”

“no, i- i want to be with you now because… no matter how much i want to debut..” he whispers, kissing the back of your hand, and holding it tightly, “staying with you is my dream.”

[ddeonghwaa]

ᵕ̈ ೫˚∗: arguments with zb1

a/n: omg i posted before midnight this is a big win

notes: yujin is not included due to his age!

wc | 1.9k

jiwoong

the best way i can describe an argument with jiwoong is “mature”

you guys don’t argue often at all so when you do there’s usually a good reason for you to be arguing

perhaps it has to do with your living situation, or you’re not taking an issue jiwoong talked to you about as seriously as he wants you to be, or you feel like he’s spending too much time away from you

whatever it is, your argument will last max 3 days

day one is reserved for sulking, and you might end up staying the night at a friend’s house while jiwoong sits with hao and hanbin and tries to work through what he’s feeling

day two is for thinking—both of you think through things rationally and take mental notes on what you did wrong and what you think was on the other person

then, day three is for talking it out. you’ll decide on a place to meet that isn’t home, and you’ll work through everything while not getting upset or saying something unwarranted.

then, afterward, you’ll go home together and do something light and fun to cheer the both of you up

things go back to normal within four days, and you don’t think about the issue ever again

zhang hao

fights with hao are not fun

hot take but i think he’s the type of person to ghost you when you make him too upset

so whatever you’re fighting over, be it the dishes or something he said, once he gets angry enough he will just walk out and not talk to you for a while

depending on how upset he is it can be anywhere from less than a day to three or four days with no contact between the two of you

so yeah this is kind of a red flag but you don’t fight literally ever so it doesn’t happen enough for it to be a big issue

and his reasoning for ghosting you is that he doesn’t want to say something he doesn’t mean and/or can’t come back from

hao knows he’s the type of person to just say something wildly untrue when he’s mad and his worst fear is doing that to you

he returns from his mental retreat so apologetically, even if you end up thinking you were more in the wrong

will bring you an apology gift (usually it’s flowers or some sort of sweet treat) and always has some big long speech prepared

you also apologize if you feel it’s warranted (which is almost every time)

things will go back to normal in max two weeks

hanbin

fights with hanbin are big and emotional

like super emotional

this man is so in love with you that you being the source of any negative emotions is really hard for him to stomach

and it’s likely that, for the course of your entire relationship, you’ll fight maybe once or twice at most

so the fight you have is big and possibly the result of a lot of pent-up emotions that built up over a long period of time

you’re the one to walk out, and he’s full-blown sobbing by the time that happens

he feels miserable for the next couple of days

you two don’t ghost each other but it’s minimal contact and you can barely look at one another without crying lol

hanbin will probably end up staying elsewhere and you’ll stay home, drowning your sorrows in ice cream while you cry on the phone with your friends

when you’re both sound enough to work it out, you two just kinda cry apologies at each other

when the time comes for you to actually talk it out, it’s pretty easy and you’re left wondering what exactly the fight was over in the first place

hanbin will kiss every single part of you after the wound is patched up

and then he’s attached to you for the next couple of days lol

things go back to normal in maybe three-ish weeks? like that’s when he stops being super clingy and you go back to regularly scheduled programming

matthew

fights with matthew are small

he seems like the type of guy to be able to talk out big issues without it blowing out of proportion

so any larger problems the two of you are like … worked out via controlled and calm conversation

then you will have a blowout argument over you losing one of the sweatshirts you took without asking (your mom took it to the dry cleaners and didn’t tell you)

your arguments are petty and it’s a lot of really fake words thrown back and forth

so it’s not like one of you is being unnecessarily mean to the other, it’s from both of you

you don’t talk for a couple of days (also mutual) and then your mom’s dry cleaning shows up with the sweatshirt in tow

you send him a picture of it with some tear stains on it and he’s like … are you crying

then he’ll show up at your house not even thinking about the sweatshirt, just the fact that he doesn’t like it when you cry

will do anything to get you to stop crying

apologizes 18 times and puts on the tear-stained sweatshirt while going “wow, it’s so clean!” in hopes that you’ll at least laugh

after he fixes the crying situation you apologize too and suddenly it’s like it never happened

things go back to normal in a week

taerae

fights with taerae are quiet

tbh i just think his anger/sadness/any negative emotion is quiet

there’s no yelling, no crying, no insults, no nothing

the argument itself will be a bunch of isolated statements paired with scoffs, rubbing your tumbles, and feeling exasperated

neither of you leaves to cool off, and you just sit in different rooms after the fact

the next day might be a bit awkward and taerae will be somewhat cold towards you (and it would be a lie to say you don’t reciprocate the same exact energy)

but at some point during the day, while you’re sulking and laying down in bed, taerae will come in and lay down next to you

starts off by saying sorry and then you talk things out while just … laying there

he’s neither the type of person to take all the blame nor the type of person to shove all the blame onto you

like you could be entirely at fault but he will distribute responsibility equally between the two of you

he’s just the type of guy who really does not like arguing so he will do whatever he can to fix it quickly

after you’re done talking you’ll go on a long drive together

it’s aimless and quiet, but he holds your hand the whole time :)

things go back to normal within 3 days

ricky

i think fights with ricky are turbulent

you never really know the direction they’re going to go in you know

you don’t necessarily fight often but it’s not like you never fight, either

i think it’s a healthy amount of bickering

somewhat like an old couple LOL

if you have a big argument, though, it’s pretty much the least fun you’ve ever had in your whole entire life

ricky isn’t the type of guy to yell and cry but he’s the type of guy to give you a look that makes you feel like crying

i also think he’d struggle to take everything you’re saying seriously so he might laugh in exasperation from time to time

which obviously makes you angrier

i think if you end up crying, though, ricky will have like a crazy moment of clarity where he’s like … oh shit

cue some crazy introspection

you’ll run off somewhere else in the house and he’ll just sit on the couch and think

he’s practically taking notes on the entire thing, and studying what he thinks was the most out-of-pocket for him to say and what he needs to apologize for

after he’s gathered his thoughts he’ll seek you out and ask if you’re okay sitting down and talking with him

and he will wait however long he needs to if you say no

he essentially says everything he feels necessary, ends it off with an apology and kisses your hand

then it’s over

things go back to normal within the day

gyuvin

you bicker with gyuvin a lot and 99.9% of the time it’s silly and super unserious

that’s the type of couple you are yk

so your fights are born out of your little, unserious arguments actually going a little bit too far, and they last soooo long

and most of it happens in front of your friends which isn’t nice either

it starts out very small, with little jabs at one another

keeps amping up for the rest of the night, and once you both leave whatever hangout you were at, all your friends are like … they’re gonna fight guys get ready

they’re right

you argue the entire way home and when he drops you off he doesn’t even give you a good night kiss, which makes things even worse

you continue arguing over text and into the next few days all while acting like everything is fine

meanwhile, you’re texting your friends (separately) like can you believe that he just said that? can you believe he’s pulling this shit?

finally they lock you two in a room and tell you to figure it out because your arguing is annoying

you will painstakingly be like “okay maybe i went too far” and he essentially does the exact same thing

and then he apologizes for not giving you a good night kiss that one time and everything is fine

things go back to normal in like 2 weeks but just keep in mind for the entire 2 weeks you were just being passive-aggressive with each other

gunwook

arguments with gunwook are born out of stress and aren’t really arguments

he’s a busy guy who’s doing a lot of things and sometimes he bites off more than he can chew

which isn’t nice because he refuses to be like “hey i might have to lay off boyfriend duties for a couple of days so i can work through all these commitments i made without thinking” because he thinks he’ll be a bad boyfriend because of it

essentially you’re not even aware he’s getting upset with you until the stress bubbles over one day

he accidentally tells you to leave him alone and let him work which makes you sad :(

but you do because you pretty much understand that he’s overwhelmed

but you’re still upset so you don’t just forgive him and move on because … idk … if he talked to you it wouldn’t have happened in the first place

is this petty … kind of yes but if you want things to change you need to put your foot down!!!

so you spend the next two or three days missing your boyfriend a miserable amount before he texts you saying “can we talk”

of course you can

you practically sprint to his house

and you talk!! and he apologizes for being mean to you while promising it won’t happen again

and gunwook learns from his actions so it really doesn’t happen again

things go back to normal in 3-4 days

thank you for reading !

tags: @happysmileybee @wtfhyuck

[ddeonghwaa]

If I Never Met You (Yunho)

Characters: Jeong Yunho x reader

Genre: really angst!

Word count: 3k

“Sometimes I wonder what it would be like if I never met you.”

With two cups of hot chocolate in his hands, Yunho headed towards your workplace happily with a smile plastered on his face. He finished work early that day and decided to fetch you from work as a surprise. He stood outside your office building and began playing with the leaves on the floor while waiting for you to come out. It was windy and chilly, but Yunho didn’t mind the cold at all. He was just excited to see you again, although you bid goodbye to each other that morning.

Keep reading

[ddeonghwaa]

wanting - j.yh

pairing: jeong yunho x fem! reader

genre: angst (kinda like right lovers, wrong time trope idk), best friends to strangers 

wc:1312

a/n: and yet, another angst. i was actually working on a req but i got this idea out of the blue and :D haha i’ll try to get back on the reqs soon <3 i hope you enjoy this. (too much self-indulged btw)

Keep reading

[ddeonghwaa]

Too Late (Jaehyun)

Characters: Jaehyun x reader

Genre: really angst! 

Word count: 3.7k

When problems arise in your long term relationship, how will it end?

It started off as a small, innocent crush on each other during senior year in high school which then blossomed into something so beautiful, a relationship you could never ask for more. The both of you are now in your final year in college and this year marks your fifth year of dating your boyfriend, Jung Jaehyun. Jaehyun is everything you could ever ask for as a boyfriend. He’s caring, kind, acts cute occasionally, and most importantly, he always makes you feel loved. Your apartments were in the same building but on different floors and you would always come over to his to chill together.

However, these past few weeks, he had started acting indifferent towards you. You sometimes wonder if it was just final year in college that was taking a toll on the relationship or maybe he was just exhausted. Whenever you talk to him, he’d be dismissive of your words and think that you’re just overreacting. He’d be on his phone most of the time texting, not to you, but you just brush it off thinking that you didn’t want to be so possessive. Deep down, you knew that it was not going fine between the two of you.

Keep reading

[ddeonghwaa]

If I Never Met You (Yunho)

Characters: Jeong Yunho x reader

Genre: really angst!

Word count: 3k

“Sometimes I wonder what it would be like if I never met you.”

With two cups of hot chocolate in his hands, Yunho headed towards your workplace happily with a smile plastered on his face. He finished work early that day and decided to fetch you from work as a surprise. He stood outside your office building and began playing with the leaves on the floor while waiting for you to come out. It was windy and chilly, but Yunho didn’t mind the cold at all. He was just excited to see you again, although you bid goodbye to each other that morning.

Keep reading

[ddeonghwaa]

Hi, it's me again HIHI 😁😁 This is my second request, the song is Dar+ling by SEVENTEEN and the member is Yunho again hehet 😁 I want it to be fluffy btw. Tysm ^^

a/n: hiii~ oh thank god someone requested darling, i have been dying to do a prompt with that song. oh and tysm for requesting again 💚💚

👤: ATEEZ Jeong Yunho

📼: Darl+ing - SEVENTEEN

genre & warnings: fluff, angst if you squint, mentions of alcohol, slight cursing

word count: 750

for anyone who wants to, don't be shy and send me asks based on Prompts Request Song Version. Thank you so much!

Yunho looked at his phone again for the nth time that night, when he saw that he didn't receive any messages or calls from you, he let out a loud sigh.

His friend Mingi definitely noticed that, he looked at him with a judging look at his face.

"What?" Yunho asked, raising an eyebrow and drinking from his glass of tequila.

"Don't what me, idiot." his friend quipped back, amusement lacing his voice despite the insult he just threw.

Mingi let out a small laugh when Yunho glared at him, looks like he really has to spell shit out for him, "Instead of sulking like a child, go to her man. It's not that hard."

Upon the suggestion, Yunho couldn't help but grit his teeth, is he willing to put his pride aside if it meant that your relationship with him would be fixed?

Hell yes.

He suddenly stood up, rushing towards the door and sprinting towards your house like an athlete who needs to win the marathon.

Mingi was left alone in the living room of their apartment, "Well, at least his brain cells are still working."

You were about to fall asleep, but alas, you were not given the chance to do that when someone started banging on your windows, startling you to death.

You were legit gonna call the police if not for the familiar voice that yelled your name out.

"What the fuck?" you went to your window and slid the curtains, Yunho's desperate face greeting you.

"Yunho! What on earth? Stop shouting you'll wake the neighbors up!"

"I don't care! Now come with me!"

You let out a yelp when he forcefully pulled you out of the window himself, and when you're finally outside, he did not allow you to take a breather. Dragging you with him until the two of you reached a deserted area in the beach.

You thought that he's gonna murder you if he brought you here, but you were shocked when he bowed in a 90° angle in front of you.

"I'm so sorry!"

Where is this leading to?

"I am a fool, braindead human being for telling you that you're clingy. I take that all back, you're not clingy and you give me the space and time that I need, that is why I want you to just please, forgive me because I..."

He momentarily stopped, getting embarrassed by his next choice of words.

"I miss your head pats and small pecks on my cheeks."

He finished, his voice getting smaller by the second and you smiled a bit, finding him adorable.

You walked towards him, gently cupping his face and raising his head, giving him a light smooch on his nose, "You truly are a fool."

No more explaining is needed on your side, you felt his sincerity during his tiny speech. If you're going to be honest, you're just waiting for him to admit that he made a mistake.

"Oh thank god." Yunho sighed in relief, his own hand enveloping yours before pulling you in for a tight hug.

He really doesn't know what he'll do if he wakes up by tomorrow and he still doesn't have you by his side.

He feels so alone when you're not there, he yearns for your warmth so much.

You both stayed there by the shore until the sun started to shine its light to the world. Promising to each other to practice communication a bit better.

Whatever problems arise, you'll be able to get through it just fine.

Under the bright, calming rise of the closest star on earth, Yunho came to terms that he'll never be able to find someone like you ever again.

Like the waves that crash into the sand, Yunho experimentally dipped his foot into your ocean of love. He did not know what happened after that, all he remembers is that he wanted to dive deeper into you.

There is nothing in this galaxy that can make Yunho change his mind on how he sees you and you feel the same sentiments as well.

He needs you, you need him.

And as he stared at your gorgeous face, he knew that there is no other girl in the world that he wanted to treat better, the best even.

"Y/N."

You turned your face to focus your attention on him, what took you by surprise is when he collided his lips with yours.

Yeah, you definitely wanted to spend an entire lifetime with this man.

[ddeonghwaa]

NAH BC THE YUNHO ANGST?? PLSS😭😭 in my head, there’s a continuation and they will get back together😫 anyways i loved it so much lol, thank you for writing it💕💕

The angst is so ANGSTY 😂 Awwww thank you for reading! I really appreciate it 🤍

[ddeonghwaa]

A poor reaction from your boyfriend broke your heart

a/n: this happened to me recently so here we go

"No, don't touch me and I don't want to stay here any longer, I'm going home." you said as Seonghwa tried to hold your hand, an attempt to make you calm down.

You weren't having it, how could you when he literally pulled away from you, removing his arm that was previously resting on your shoulders, and he even speed walked away from you so that his ex wouldn't see you two together.

He sighed, knowing that he screwed big time, "I already said I'm sorry, I thought you wouldn't like it if she saw us so-" your glare cut him off.

"Seonghwa, what I didn't like was the fact that you acted like that when you saw her. What? Are you still affected by her?"

He held your shoulders before speaking, "No, baby please. I-" he took a breath before telling you the truth, "I just feel bad that I am happy in a relationship now but she's not. I was the one who broke up with her, so yeah."

What a lame excuse, squinting your eyes at him, ready to berate him for giving you pain and bullshit when today is supposed to be a happy one.

"It's been years since your break-up Seonghwa! Why do you keep yourself accountable if you broke up with her because you can't keep up with her toxicity," you closed your eyes, catching your breath before you faint out of anger "why do you even care about her happiness so much that you are willing to hurt me?"

You whispered the last part, tired and upset, and he heard that. His eyes widened, panic coursing through him when you think of it like that.

He gives no shit to his ex, it's always you. He thinks about you all the time and your happiness but fuck, why is he so stupid and did what he did. Now he wants to turn back time and hold you in his arms instead of pulling away.

Your voice made him snap out of his stupor, "Forget it, if she's that important then go to her instead. It's clear that she still has a special place in your heart if you don't want her to see us together."

Shrugging his hands off of your shoulder, you turned your back on him, wanting to lie down in your bed and cry.

He ran after you, trying to make you stay and talk about it, "Y/N, please, just listen to me. Try to understand my side."

What? Now he blames this in you?

You faced him once again, furious to his insensitive words, "Understand you? Why don't YOU put yourself in my shoes? What would you feel if I did the exact same thing to you when I see my ex? Would that be okay for you? Tell me Seonghwa, wouldn't that hurt you and make you think that I still care for him?"

He looked down, guilty and ashamed of his words. Yes, if you did that to him, he would be broken as well.

"You are in a relationship with me already Seonghwa, if you can't move on from your past and it'll just affect our relationship, then I'm sorry I wouldn't tolerate that. I deserve better."

You turned on your heels once again, this time he didn't try and make you stay.

"Talk to me when you are ready to fully commit me, to us. Until then, don't talk to me."

[ddeonghwaa]

If I Never Met You (Yunho)

Characters: Jeong Yunho x reader

Genre: really angst!

Word count: 3k

“Sometimes I wonder what it would be like if I never met you.”

With two cups of hot chocolate in his hands, Yunho headed towards your workplace happily with a smile plastered on his face. He finished work early that day and decided to fetch you from work as a surprise. He stood outside your office building and began playing with the leaves on the floor while waiting for you to come out. It was windy and chilly, but Yunho didn’t mind the cold at all. He was just excited to see you again, although you bid goodbye to each other that morning.

Keep reading

[ddeonghwaa]

If I Never Met You (Yunho)

Characters: Jeong Yunho x reader

Genre: really angst!

Word count: 3k

“Sometimes I wonder what it would be like if I never met you.”

With two cups of hot chocolate in his hands, Yunho headed towards your workplace happily with a smile plastered on his face. He finished work early that day and decided to fetch you from work as a surprise. He stood outside your office building and began playing with the leaves on the floor while waiting for you to come out. It was windy and chilly, but Yunho didn’t mind the cold at all. He was just excited to see you again, although you bid goodbye to each other that morning.

“Anytime now,” he whispered to himself, eyes wandering around the exit, hoping to be the first one to spot you when you’re out. You’ve been dating for about a year now, and the only word you’d use to describe it is, ‘complete’. 

Every time you smile, his heart flutters and flips at the sight. Every time he ruffles your hair, the butterflies in your tummy multiply. The best thing for the both of you is time spent together. 

“What would I do if I never met you? I don’t think I could ever survive,” Yunho would casually bring up this question whenever you’re together. You could be eating, sleeping, gaming or watching movies, and he’d pop this question out of nowhere.

In response to that, you’d chuckle and peck his cheek, “Me neither. Meeting you is a blessing.” 

The two of you are inseparable, you would share your feelings, cravings, how your day went. Sometimes, without even saying anything, Yunho could sense if you’re sad and would give you a tight, warm hug to cheer you up. Your face would lit up at his actions and you’ll snuggle into his neck. 

When Yunho is with you, you feel complete.

The building’s exit door opened and Yunho’s eyes widened in excitement as he saw you walking out.

“Hey babe, I’m he-”

Yunho stopped in his tracks when he noticed you were not alone. Walking next to you was a tall, fine, good-looking young man, and the two of you seemed to be having a conversation. 

You laughed at something the man said and he smiled in response. When your head turned, you finally noticed your boyfriend standing there with two drinks in his hands. A soft smile appeared on your face. 

“My boyfriend is here. Let’s continue discussing the new project tomorrow, okay?” You bid your coworker goodbye and made your way to Yunho, internally screaming excitedly because you get to see him again. 

“Hey handsome,” You gave him a smile and pulled him into an embrace, not caring about the stares people were giving. Yunho put his arms up to prevent spilling the drinks and pecked your cheeks. 

“Baby, I missed you,” he replied as you pulled off from the hug. He handed you the hot chocolate and caressed your cheeks. “You look so beautiful under the moonlight.”

You blushed at his comment and playfully slapped his arm, “Only when I’m under the moonlight?” 

Yunho chuckled and shook his head, “No, my girl looks beautiful 24/7.”

“The only right answer,” you teased. 

You hooked your right arm around Yunho’s, while the other held the cup of hot chocolate. The both of you started walking slowly to your shared apartment, enjoying the night breeze and each other’s company. 

“You didn’t tell me you were coming,” you said. Yunho hummed in response and replied, “I wanted to surprise you. I know you like it when I fetch you from work, right?”

You can’t help but smile at his reply. Reuniting with Yunho after a long day at work is so rewarding. You softly caressed the back of his head, with eyes full of love. “Thank you, baby.”

“What do you want to have for dinner?” You asked. He shrugged and replied, “Up to you. I don’t really have an appetite.”

You blinked in confusion and stopped him in his tracks. “Babe, wait. YOU don’t have an appetite? Is that even possible?”

Yunho cleared his throat and tried brushing it off, but you wouldn’t let him. “Baby~ Tell me what is it? Is something bothering you?” You whined. 

Yunho kept quiet, and his next action surprised you. His lips turned into a pout and he continued not saying a word. “Hm?” You asked. 

“Baby, if you don’t tell me, I won’t know.”

Yunho finally gave in and let out a sigh. “You know how I get jealous easily, right?” 

Your brows furrowed in confusion as you started thinking back about what could possibly make him say that. Then it clicked. Yunho had probably seen you talking to your coworker just now, and maybe he got jealous of that. 

Cute. 

“Is this about my coworker at the office?” 

Yunho softly nodded and kept on fidgeting his fingers. You chuckled, “Baby~ Don’t worry, he’s just a coworker and he knows that you’re my boyfriend.”

“Really?” Yunho looked into your eyes in relief. “Yes, I made it clear to everyone in the office that I’m taken. By the sweetest guy on earth.”

You recalled the time when the two of you went on a date, a random guy came up to you and asked for your number. When Yunho came back from the restroom, he was furious when he found out about it. He spent the whole day being sulky and pouty, so you had to lure him with food to make him feel better. The sight of a jealous Yunho is so cute to you, making you chuckle to yourself whenever you think of it. 

Little did you know, life had something in store for you. It decided to take a turn. 

For the worse.

As the two of you dived into more years of dating, things about the relationship began to change. Dating Yunho started to feel like a chore. 

You noticed yourself walking on eggshells every time Yunho comes back home late from work, not wanting to irritate him in any way. Yunho talked to you less, and even when the two of you are eating on the same table, you feel like you’re forced to initiate a conversation. 

The little things that Yunho did that used to make you swoon over him, were starting to annoy you at some point. Sometimes when you just wanted some time alone, he’d keep asking you if you were okay or not, or if he did something wrong. 

You couldn’t figure out when things started being like this, but deep down, you hoped for things to be as they were before.

“Babe, I told you I’m fine. I just need some time for myself,” you breathed out. 

“Are you on your period?” Yunho blurted out. When he noticed that what he said was offensive, his eyes widened. 

“Sorry, I didn’t mean that.”

“And you’re sure you meant your apology?” you replied in sarcasm, clearly annoyed at what he had suggested. Were you a bit harsh on him? You weren’t sure. You’ve had a really long day at work, and told Yunho you needed some time to think, but he kept on bothering you.

“Babe, I’m sorry. Okay?” Yunho let out a sigh and stared into your eyes. You remained expressionless, a little disappointed about what he said. “Let me make it up to you. I’ll fetch you from work tomorrow, and then we’ll get dinner at our favourite pasta restaurant. Sounds like a plan?”

He gently sat next to you and waited for your answer. You pulled your knees to your chest and rested your head on it, “Deal.”

Yunho nodded with a soft smile. For some reason, his eyes looked sad and your heart felt empty. Is it okay to resolve a small fight like this? Why does it feel as if something’s missing? It feels weird whenever things turn out too easy like this. 

You couldn’t recognise this weird, new feeling, but you brushed it off. It’s nothing. 

During lunch the next day, you met up with your best friend for coffee. Since you’ve always shared your concerns with her, you decided to consult her about your relationship with Yunho. 

“Have you sat down with Yunho, and had a small talk about this?” Your friend asked, as you shook your head, denying it. “Sometimes it feels uncomfortable just being in the same room with him, honestly. I don’t know when this started, but it’s starting to suffocate me. Yunho did nothing wrong, nor did I.”

You let out a long sigh and shook your head, “I don’t know what to do.”

Your best friend looked at you in concern and gave you a hug, “I think the both of you need to talk it out. Maybe you’re always together, that’s why you can't see what’s the problem. Remember all the good times you’ve spent with each other, what makes the two of you happy. I know this sounds easy to say, but I really think communication is what the two of you need right now.”

“Not a forced casual conversation, but a heart to heart, deep conversation.”

Your friend’s words kept on lingering in your head as you stepped out of the office building. How do you bring up a heart to heart conversation with Yunho? You have no idea. “I guess you weren’t listening?” Your coworker, who was beside you, chuckled.

When you realised you didn’t register a single word he said to you, you felt bad. “Sorry. What were you saying again?”

“It’s nothing important. You look like you’re out of it lately. Get enough rest and I’ll see you again in the office?” You nodded in response and gave him a small smile, before parting ways. 

Your eyes were out of focus as you walked forward, until you heard a familiar voice calling out to you. 

You searched for the voice and your eyes met Yunho’s. He was there to fetch you again, as promised. You gave him a soft smile as you headed to him. “Hey, you came.”

Yunho nodded, “As promised.”

“Do you want to have ramyeon for dinner instead? I’m suddenly craving for ramyeon instead of pasta,” you asked and looked up to see his reply.

Yunho hummed with a nod, “Sure, I don’t mind it at all.”

You smiled and wrapped your arm around his, and the two of you walked home together. You figured that it was better to start the heart to heart talk with him when you’re home, in your comfortable space. That was why you suggested having ramyeon at home for dinner instead of the pasta restaurant. 

You were confident that you could resolve this issue during dinner. But Yunho was quiet throughout the journey, until you reached home. 

The moment you reached home, you took out a pot and two packets of ramyeon to cook. “Babe, do you want me to crack an egg in yours?”

Yunho shook his head, “Actually, I’m not hungry. You can cook just for yourself.”

Your face fell at his reply. Yunho didn’t even spare you a glance after dropping the bomb and went to change into comfortable clothes. Disappointed, you proceeded to cook a pack of ramyeon for yourself. You were starving and you couldn’t find it in you to ask Yunho to eat when he didn't want to. When he came to the living room, he noticed you were at the dining table, playing with your food instead of eating. 

Yunho knows how you hated eating alone. With a sigh, he pulled the chair in front of you and kept you company. “Thank you,” you said and took a bite of your food. However, the more you ate, the more you lost your appetite. Yunho was in your company, but he didn’t talk to you. 

The silence was suffocating you, so you cleared your throat to catch his attention. Yunho looked up to you and raised his brows, signaling a, “Yes?”

“These days I’ve been having some thoughts, and it’s been bothering me a lot lately,” you hesitated, “I’ve been thinking a lot about… us. Our relationship.”

You heard Yunho take a deep breath, his eyes changed into a more serious mode. Does he realise it too? How different has your relationship been lately?

“I don’t know when we started being like this to each other,” you took a breath and carefully looked at Yunho for his reaction. He remained expressionless, but his eyes were serious. 

“Does this relationship feel like a burden to you?” There you go. You asked the question that has been eating you alive lately. You finally let it out from your chest, but it weirdly didn’t feel satisfying. Instead, the atmosphere around the two of you darkened. 

After a moment of silence, Yunho finally spoke up. “Are you breaking up with me?”

Your eyes widened in surprise, clearly not expecting him to get that idea from your question. “N-no, that’s not what I’m suggesting. I just fee-“

“Do you have someone else?” He interrupted, not giving you a second to even breathe. His eyes turned into someone different and you couldn’t recognise it. Yunho felt so distant and cold, as if he had turned into a different person. 

“Babe, I don’t! Are you even listening to yourself?”

You shook your head in disbelief and stared at Yunho. “Are you accusing me of cheating on you?”

Yunho stared down at the table, fidgeting his fingers. “It’s not considered accusing if it’s true.”

Your jaw dropped at what Yunho just said. How could he? After all your efforts trying to revive this dying relationship, he accused you of cheating on him? It all sounds like a lie to you and you couldn’t believe what you were going through right now. 

“Oh God, tell me this is a dream.”

Yunho felt bad and looked at you. “You looked extra friendly with your male coworkers.”

Did you hear him wrong? You were starting to doubt your ears at the absurd things your boyfriend said. 

During your early days of being in a relationship, a jealous Yunho seemed cute to you. Him being jealous showed that he truly liked you and didn’t want anyone else to take you away from him. However, as time went by, this jealousy of his became the cause of your fights and it didn’t seem cute anymore. 

“I told you so many times before, he is just a coworker. There’s nothing more than that. I made it clear to him!” 

“Made it clear to him that you’re into him too?”

You scoffed in disbelief and almost cursed at the man in front of you. “Don’t you see his eyes when he looks at you? No one looks at a coworker like that. I don’t trust him,” Yunho continued.

“You know what? Sometimes I wonder what it would be like if I never met you. We’d never go through this.”

You turned speechless at his words. 

Suddenly, your ears started ringing so loud, you couldn’t decipher what Yunho was saying after he threw those words at you. Each word felt like a stab through your heart and you felt tears threatening to gush out. 

“He has a girlfriend, Jeong Yunho!” You spat out. “He has a f*cking girlfriend.”

Yunho felt his heart fall when you interrupted him and used his full name. You only called him by his full name when you’re really mad, but he has never seen you this furious. Your face turned red and you started shaking. Yunho’s face fell when he noticed the tears forming in your eyes. 

Yunho’s weakness is seeing you cry because of him. If you’d cried because of watching dramas or movies, he wouldn’t mind it at all. He’d even tease you for it. But he promised to himself he’d never let you shed a tear because of him, but today, he realised he was breaking that promise. 

“If you can’t trust him, you should have at least trusted me, Jeong Yunho,” you said in a low voice, breathings were still unstable.

“We’ve been dating for so long, how could you still not trust me? I would never hurt you, I’ve never even thought of cheating on you. Do you expect me to not talk to my own coworker? How the hell am I supposed to get work done?” You shook your head and stood up from your seat. 

“I tried so hard to make you happy in this relationship, to not offend you, but I guess all of my efforts went to waste. I tried saving this relationship by having this conversation with you tonight, but I guess it’s not going well.” 

“We went through so much together, but you still don’t trust me. At one point, I even believed that there’s nothing in the world that can break us down as long as we’re together. Because we’re stronger that way.”

A tear finally fell on your cheek and you closed your eyes shut. 

“Little did we know, the thing that broke us is… ourselves.”

Yunho couldn’t say a word and just stared at you. Was he too harsh to you? He felt bad at the sight of you breaking down in front of him. You looked so vulnerable  He wanted to reach his arm out and pull you into his embrace, but it weirdly feels difficult to do that. 

“Baby…” he whispered. Not giving him a chance to say anything, you continued.

“Sometimes you wonder what it would be like if you never met me?“ You let out a sad smile with more tears running down your cheeks. Your breaths were shaky and your vision turned blurry. You felt like you could collapse right there and then, but you held onto the chair for support. 

Your grip on the chair became stronger as you exhaled loudly. Getting yourself together, you looked into Yunho’s eyes for one last time.

“I guess you’ll know what it would be like, now.”

With that, you grabbed your bag and headed for the door. Yunho was surprised at what you said and grabbed your wrists. 

“Baby, wait! What do you mean? Where are you going? It’s already late!”

You turned back to him and shook his hands off your wrist. 

“Don’t call me that. You’ve never met me.”

Yunho froze in his spot after hearing that, arms hanging by his sides lifelessly. After a moment, he felt a wave of regret washing over him. Did he really just lose you? 

masterlist

Tell me how you feel after reading this! Because I definitely cried while wriiting this piece. I just have a lot of sadness these days and I feel like pouring it all out in a written piece.

Thank you for reading! I appreciate it a lot!

[ddeonghwaa]

PLEASE REMEMBER ME WHEN OUR YOUTH IS GONE - choi san.

↳ SUMMARY, when choi san, the highest scoring student and a easily identifiable perfectionist starts falling for a messy and careless girl, he cant find any words in the world to express his love for the only star in his eyes. all he can have is the memory of you

↳ PAIRING, high-school student! san x fem!reader

↳ GENRE, angst! fluff!

↳WARNINGS, semi-heavy angst, unreciprocated feelings! foul language, cursing, action set in summer! wooyoung and seojun!!!!

↳WORDCOUNT, 5.6k! 

↳AUTHORS NOTE, NO PROOF READ YET! been putting this off for so long but i finally got to put into words my own bitter experience:(( also I’m not feeling so slayful for putting of sun & moon, but this was something I’ve wanted to write for a long time, so i hope you enjoy it as much as i did while writing it

San wanted to be considered a perfectionist, since he strived towards outstanding scores, a foolproof attendance and he longed to outdo himself in anything he sparked interest in. The watch his friends gave him never left his wrist, and you could catch him sneaking glances at it every minute or so. San was never late. Guards who watched over the school’s property often spotted him at the crack of dawn, studying for exams or finishing yesterday’s homework. 

Beneath the orange haze of the early morning sky, San’s eyes flush wide open. His body is sticky and he can feel the hot sweat creep down his neck, as he forces his body to get up. Then it hits him, as his still blurry vision spots the light blue alarm clock amongst his school uniform. His body trembles, as the usually blue numbers don’t light up his face anymore. His chest heaves uneasily, as the palm of his hand rummages through the white bed sheets. San’s fingertips hit the cold black surface of his phone, and roughly  pull it up to the side of his damp thigh. He reluctantly opens his phone and the white numbers on his screen read 6:48. Panic subsidies the liberating feeling he woke up with. 

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[ddeonghwaa]

INTERRUPTED THOUGHTS S.M.

INTERRUPTED THOUGHTS SERIES MASTERLIST

synopsis: you had always been there for ateez when they needed you, specifically when their makeup needed touch-ups before a stage or show. it was only expected one of them was going to fall for you and your caring nature eventually, but even then, you never expected for one of the cheeriest members to think of you in such humiliating and perverted ways.

pairing: perv!yunho x fem!reader

genre: fluff, angst, crack/humor, suggestive, (eventual) smut

update schedule: every 15 days or when previous part reaches 300 notes

next update ; JANUARY 14, 2022

series overview (mobile friendly) | main masterlist | main menu

reblogs are appriciated. links under cut.

if you would like to be on the taglist, please send in an ask - strictly asks.

prologue ; interrupted thoughts

part 01 ; friendly visit

part 02 ; past thoughts and present actions [RELEASE: JAN 14, 2022]

part 03 ; present actions unfold

part 04 ; sneak peak

part 05 ; gaining suspicions

part 06 ; late night meeting

part 07 ; just ask

part 08 ; deja vu

part 09 ; past thoughts and present actions pt 2

part 10 ; side-eyes

this series is still in process of writing - more parts will be added as i continue to write.

[ddeonghwaa]

TOXIC — Choi San (Part One)

Request: San has been with a toxic waste hazardous chemical of a gal for a while and you (having been best friends with San for a long time) take matters into your own hands after hes constantly refused to listen to your pleads to break up with her… I’ll leave the rest to you.

It was painful at this point - watching the two of them in action.

“San, I’m hungry.”

You could see it in his face—he was confused. It was the way his eyebrows scrunched together so quickly, but just as fast washed away before she could catch him. Considering you were all at a house party, where food surrounded the place, this should be an easy problem to solve, right?

“Okay. There’s some more chicken—

“Did I say that’s what I wanted?”

Ah, there she is. Such a ray of sunshine. This is the part where San, although he knows he didn’t do anything wrong, begins to feel guilty. His doe eyes start to cower to the floor trying to scheme up a plan to prove himself to his love. He doesn’t know what she wants, but he knows he needs to be careful with his words… or else.

Keep reading

[ddeonghwaa]

—Nerves.

Genre: angst

Pairing: San x gn!reader

Warnings: None

"Hey."

"How are you doing?"

"Are you doing good?"

"I don't know if you'll listen this voicemail, but I'll send it through anyways."

The sound will come out crackly and distorted, it won't sound remotely like something recorded on a mobile phone. He could've easily done that instead of putting coins into a park payphone at 3am.

"I just wanted to call and say that I... nevermind, I shouldn't say that to you."

San runs a hand through his hair, not sure what he wants to say or do. He told the rest of the group he would be back soon. He said he was taking a walk. That was two hours ago.

"It's been really quiet without you in the dorms, you know. Shiber is still doing okay, if you're curious. I've been cleaning him like you taught me, cold water, detergent, hand wash."

Hongjoong holds San's phone in his hand, scrolling through the lockscreen to an array of unread messages the rest of the group had been sending. The screen is cracked, the sides slightly chipped. Hongjoong doesn't remember that crack being there last week. He does remember a resounding thud coming from the wall next to him last night. He also remembers having to physically force San to stay home and rest two days ago.

"If you ever want to pick your stuff up, I have it in a box next to my bed. Keep the hoodies if you'd like, return them, do what you feel like."

San tries not to cry. It doesn't work. A sob pushes its way out of his throat. He tries to suppress it and makes it worse.

"Fuck."

He brings his sleeve up to his eye, forcefully rubbing them dry. The next round of tears follow without delay.

"I shouldn't be crying on this call right now. I'm sorry."

Hongjoong throws his jacket on. He doesn't know where to look, but he's ready to turn the city upside down to find San.

"I'm sorry. I don't know what went wrong, but I'm sorry."

San still doesn't know what you meant when you told him it wasn't working out. Was it his schedule? His fans? The stress? He was ready to risk it all for you. He still is, but who is there to risk it all for?

"I don't know when you're going to receive this, but I'm doing fine. Don't worry."

He's lying. He hasn't eaten in three days. He's skipped practise, skipped promotions, and has stopped talking altogether. In his defense, he wouldn't have skipped practise and promotions if not for Hongjoong and Seonghwa forcing him to.

"This will be the last time you hear this from me. Or hear anything from me."

San's voice cracks, thinking his words through. He wishes he could say this isn't the last time. He knows it's selfish to do this, but he deems this the best course of action.

"I don't know how you're feeling on the other end, but whatever it is, I want you to know it's not your fault. And if you aren't blaming yourself, keep it that way. If this ending is what makes you satisfied, then let it be. I'm not going to do anything."

This hoodie is ruined. He's going to have to throw it in the wash once he gets back to the dorm. San rubs at his eyes and nose, desperately trying to dry them. It stings, the corners of his eyes burn every time his sleeve rubs at them and bits of skin peel off the bottom of his nose.

"I'm sorry if I wasn't there for you when you needed. If I could, I would go back and fix everything. There are so many things I want to say right now, but I don't think I can ever do it."

Hongjoong speeds down the street, checking the local convenience store San loves. It's empty, the flickering and buzzing of the sign only further irritating him. He thinks he knows where San could be, and bolts down the street to the park.

"I want you to know I'm grateful for the past three years. I don't think I'll ever get the privilege to go through anything like that again, and that scares me."

San's legs are shaking and his breath is going short, he holds himself upright with his free arm pressing against the transparent wall of the booth.

"I want you to be happy. Please be happy for yourself and make the right choices. Don't force yourself into anything, meet new people, just forget about me, because after all, you're the most important person in your life, okay? I'm sorry, I love you."

San's hand goes limp, releasing the phone in his hand. The phone dangles and swings from the rubber coil, crashing into the wall. His legs give out and he crumbles to the ground in defeat. The welled up tears spill down his face, staining everything they come in contact with. He pushes his face into his knees. His arms instinctively wrap around himself, pulling his legs closer to his chest while he cries, and cries, and cries. The phone records it all.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry..."

Those two words spill repetitively from his mouth, muffled by the fabric of his pants. He can barely tell what he's trying to say, so he says whatever comes to mind.

Hongjoong watches it all from outside the booth. He walks over, slowly pulling the door open. He doesn't say a word, hanging up the phone for San while he goes on with his string of apologies. He tries to pull his friend up, but he's holding himself too tight.

"San, let's go home."

San isn't sure what home there is to go back to.

tags: @canadianwatermelon @troy-on-sea @bubba-t3a

im honestly not sure who to tag since this is a drabble so i tagged people who i think would like this but dm if you want to be added to taglist for any other works I come out with:> and yes i am still working on the long fic that's gonna take a while though