deadlybeans

[deadlybeans]

in my mind if dragons were real then western and eastern dragons would be only distantly related species filling the same ecological niche across different continents. but due to visual similarities got called the same thing in English. and it would be one of those things that you hear on trivia game shows and go "oh that's neat" about and then move on with your day, like how tanuki get lumped in with racoons even tho racoons are musteloids and tanuki are canids. do you see my vision.

[deadlybeans]

Summer Shop Update!:D I havent opened the shop in so long but I have a few new things in this time!:) Firstly New Lanyards Charms!! So happy with how these came out! They can be separated too so you can keep the charm for display and just use the lanyard or both! Then we have two new sheets of watercolor washi stickers! Both have goild foil accents and are die cut! If you are interested in these or any of the other new things I have to offer please go take a look at my etsy shop! (We got restocks of postcards, bookmarks and stickers as well!:)) You can find the link right here!:D (I sadly only 2 original painted frames so be on the look out!)

[deadlybeans]

I laminated a paper towel

[deadlybeans]

i would've fucked so hard as a court jester in ye olde i would've jangled my balls and done a little dance and sang my silly tunes i'd be so good at my job. alas i have to be on tumblr instead which is like a poor imitation of it

[deadlybeans]

I am incompetent in so many things that I feel legit rage when I'm distrusted about something that I know I am genuinely good at. Particularly by people who refuse to let me help them with something I know they're doing wrong and that I know I could so easily help them out with, but they get mad at me instead. Like explaining things in layman's terms, for people who don't need all the details and just need to understand the general concept.

I've been there so many times witnessing someone trying to explain something we both understand, to a person who understands none of it, and when I see the person starting to look overwhelmed with all these super complex details flying right over their head, I'll chime in with "it's basically [super simplified version of the explanation, in therms that they'll understand]", and to not worry about the rest of it that has nothing to do with what they need to know.

And the person who was just halfway through trying to compress an university degree's worth of knowledge to this person without any filtering of what is and isn't relevant to the situation will look at me like I just called their dog a whore, and insultedly go "no, it's not at all like that!" and then start pouring in more and more complex detail that's going to just make the person who was already scared and confused by their original explanation even more scared and confused.

I am the only one in my family who has ever been tested for autism, btw. They tested me twice and no matter how hard they looked, I did not have it. My problems with communication remain mystery to this day.

[deadlybeans]

QPRs are so fucking awesome are you telling me I get to be someone's lame ass boyfriend without actually having to date them???

[deadlybeans]

I remember this story mom told me and my sister when we were little. Two frogs fall into a milk churn, and start swimming to stay on the surface. After a long time, one of the frogs tells the other that it's tired of swimming, and is just going to give up now. The frog sinks and drowns, while the other frog keeps swimming. Eventually the surviving frog that never gave up has been swimming for so long that the milk has been churned into butter, and the frog can hop out. The moral of the story is that life feels hopeless a lot, but if you give in to despair, you fucking die.

I had two aunts from my father's side. I don't remember anything about one of them, she died when I was three years old. We were never lied to about how it happened. She killed herself, jumped out of a window. She gave in to despair. My paternal grandmother lost her mind over the grief, developing dementia overnight. I never knew her as a sane, coherent person. She gave in to the despair. That's what I was taught, that's how I was raised. Life is pain, but if you give in to the despair, you fucking die.

I am an optimist. Always have been. I had to be. Indulging in pessimistic fatalism was a luxury that I could not afford. I'm not an optimist out of some naive lack of awareness that life can be bad sometimes. I grew up very familiar with how bad life can be. I was an optimist in believing - against all the proof of the contrary - that life could be other things, too. That it's possible that there could be a life that doesn't hurt all the time.

I can't afford to be a pessimist. I don't pretend to believe that things will never get bad, but I have no choice but to believe that no matter how bad things will get, there can be good things in life, no matter what. I don't talk to my family anymore, but I did survive being raised by them. The ones who give up hope don't make it. If you let the darkness seep in, and give in to despair, you die.

[deadlybeans]

Was wishing there was a positivity post for original fiction writers since I see so many about how fanfic writers are doing so much for their communities even when they're not actively writing, and then I thought:

Be the change you want to see in the world.

So this is a positivity post for the writers out here who are working very hard on stories with no established community. Who can't talk about their blorbos and plot lines and brainstorming to anyone and expect them to know what any of it means. Who don't have much to share publicly, but are hoping they will one day.

You're doing a lot of hard work, and I recognize and appreciate what you're putting into the world, even when you're resting.

[deadlybeans]

A tip for excellent writing I just learned: Don't introduce a character with their Dramatic Backstory. It makes readers go "oh alright this is the Dramatic Background Story Character" and establishes a baseline of Tragic, either for the story as a whole or this character in particular. With no contrast of light and dark, pure darkness isn't impactful, it just looks like the absence of anything to look at.

If you really want someone's dramatic backstory to hit the audience like a gut punch, let them get to know the character first. That way the dark backstory doesn't come off as a description of who they are, but an explanation to why they are the way they are. Bonus points for connecting it to something that's already been established as a part of the character - what a devastating blow to suddenly put together that hold on, that funny quirky thing that they always do is a fucking trauma response.

[deadlybeans]

I finally made the meme I've had in my head for over a year

[deadlybeans]

The thing about ADHD is that the "lack of reward chemicals in your brain" doesn't just mean that you don't want to do any tasks that don't feel particularly yummy :(, it means that your brain will look at chores and tasks that need to be done like "doing this would be painful and tedious for absolutely nothing to gain from it, Do Not Do That." The same thing that your brain tells you about everything else that would feel really bad and hurt the entire time that you're dying. The part of your brain that stops you from doing the thing is the same part that keeps you from shoving your arm into a wood chipper.

With unmedicated, unmanaged ADHD, "I have to do this assignment or I fail and my life will be ruined and I die" feels like a SAW trap, every single time.

[deadlybeans]

there should be a socially acceptable way to say "im not sure what to say to that. can you say something different"

[deadlybeans]

As a trans man who has had to put painstaking work into body positivity, body neutrality, and my own sense of manhood, I can't help but feel so bad for men who have, seemingly, never felt permission to have any positive feelings about their body and their manhood.

Yes, body positivity and body neutrality are for you, men. You owe nobody washboard abs, or beautiful facial hair, or clear skin, or unblemished skin, or "masculine" features. Genuinely, you are under no obligation to perform any of it. The weight of those expectations is genuinely suffocating. Let yourself remove that yoke from your shoulders and actually live.

[deadlybeans]

Ace and aro little guys

I liked the idea of just making chill little guys……… that’s how I feel as an aroace person at least

(If they look blurry it’s cuz they’re really small lol I wanted to make them smaller stickers too to help with the Little Guy feeling)

I’m struggling with my redbubble rn it won’t let me log in but once it does I’ll start actually putting stuff up cuz it’s pride now :) happy pride month!

[deadlybeans]

Art by Athus Neves

[deadlybeans]

Art by Pearl (Mook) Chuaynarong

[deadlybeans]

the second coming