dearlyromanticreader

[dearlyromanticreader]

Georges Jules Victor Clairin

[dearlyromanticreader]

[dearlyromanticreader]

Moonlit night in the Carinthian Alps, oil on panel ― Adolf Chwala (Czech, 1836-1900)

[dearlyromanticreader]

I know I told you I never write love poems but I lied. I guess I just didn’t have the words

[dearlyromanticreader]

What if someone told you that your complexion rivaled that of the prettiest angels in heaven?

[dearlyromanticreader]

A love letter is a suicide note.

And…. a suicide note ….

is a love letter

I choose to leave you with a love letter.

Wishing that i could do better but, this is all i have 

So many things I wish I could say.

Tho im running out of space,

Grab another page. 

Yet it turns up blank 

It's better off this way. 

My mistakes, 

Written in that love letter

Now don't be sad.

You're the greatest i ever had.

And Tho a suicide note is a love not asking for forgiveness,

It's a love asking for peace.

It's a breakup note telling you to move on, 

It's the container of all my i love yous, 

A reminder of how much love you added to my life. 

a final goodbye, and send off all the love that I have for you…. 

That i had for you …

A goodbye.

My masterpiece, 

My big fuck you, 

My extravagant exit,

And as i remind you about how i chose for this to be a love note

Don't forget 

A love note is an egotistical suicide.

[dearlyromanticreader]

As i lay here in a magnificent ocean of crimson

Not a single positive moment flashes by

This i tell myself makes me reasonable

I close my eyes and feel warmth wrapping around me

I think of all my old hopes and dreams 

Asn how they will die with me

I imagine how my life could have been

Yet i the hopeless romantic find today such an angelic day

What a gorgeous day i tell myself 

There's nothing i could do 

Or that i would do

That would create such an arousing and intoxicating feeling

Such a blissful and spitfire love 

As i drift away further into my mind 

Further into the red ocean 

As i'm cradled there in the warm water

All i think of is peace and tranquility 

At last i am free

I hear the waves crashing against the shore 

The loud chaos 

I can see the glowing red sun flashing 

I can feel the warmth leave

The noises of the water fade away

I swear i can hear someone faintly yelling my name 

But i let the ocean swallow me whole 

I ignore the screams and the sirens 

I accept the cold 

I mean how else am I to accept my fate? 

Living now is so futile, 

I'd much rather take my poetic ending. 

[dearlyromanticreader]

I fear of myself

The anger and shame

I have billowed into a horrid and grotesque monster

I can't stand to be alone with who i've morphed into 

Grief has consumed me

While anger fuels me

The self pity i feel blinds me

This is not who i am

I've locked myself away

A futile attempt to protect those i love

From me

At any moment i can lose myself

Screaming and losing what little composure i have left

I can't let that win 

I'm not anger and hate

Yet i go into a blind rage

Its like im watching from afar

With no control

As i tear away what i worked so hard for

The self sabotage 

And being forced to watch on 

As 

As i destroy the ones i love

So i shall stay away

With my walls 

For who I have become is a shame for all. 

[dearlyromanticreader]

Death had followed me around my whole life.

It's a cruel joke.

The dances with death never,truly knowing if it's my time.

Yet maybe my time has come,

Maybe my time left is to be miserable.

Death always comes and asks for a dance.

Somehow, some way, he finds me.

Yet death must love me,

As he always comes back for another dance

Death likes to parade his power to me.

Showing that at any moment I could be replaced.

He tortures me

Always close by to death and heartbreak

Always living with the guilt,

Yet unable to escape death's grasp.

He holds me there.

We sway and dance

The sobs and pleads never work with him.

I have lived most of my life shackled to him.

Death will follow me until the end,

But maybe death is my only love?

My true comfort,

Death is my home.

[dearlyromanticreader]

When I look into the mirror I shatter into a million pieces.

I'm my family.

I'm all of the parts i hate about my parents

Everything I despised and swore I would never become. 

I the angry alcoholic who is aloof and distant.

The one who yells and sobs. The one who can't control their emotions

A person born into a war in which they have lost

Doomed to sit back and watch himself become all the worst qualities of their family's name. 

A person who lives among a scorched earth who learned to lick bits of love off the blades of knives. Someone who the mirror shatters when their reflection is seen. 

[dearlyromanticreader]

Flightless

I fell from grace and had my wings clipped. The depression and betrayal consumed my soul. In the end i was doomed to fail

Although in the darkness I blossomed

I matured and learned. Without my strength and values nothing would matter. The self love and respect I learned while in the dark created the light.

And tho the light was soft at first she began to shine bright

The journey to the clouds where I once lived was long and treacherous

My journey was not linear. Learning to fly was a difficult journey. It wasn't beautiful in fact it was horrid and grotesque. 

The journey made me question if hope was a blessing or a curse. Hope has come to punish us for our wicked deeds and to further our despair

Hope is the cruel joke that gives us the rope in which we hang ourselves.

Yet in the darkness I found myself. I found that only I could be my light.

Hope shows us the true balance.The push and the pull. Without hope I wouldn't have gotten this far and yet hope was my biggest enemy.

The chaos that once defined me and pushed me from peace became my biggest motivation. Chaos is pain. And pain is your biggest struggle as pain can be peace and passion or pain can be anger and revenge.