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Memento Mori (1563/etching) - Battista Franco
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having an eating disorder at this point in my life is sooooo fucking weird because my goal isn't even to be skinny anymore ????? i used to want to be skin and bones when i was a teen i used to have a goal weight as well as a physical one, but now? now i dont. hell, sometimes i dont even hate the way i look too much (despite not being skinny, which i will literally never be, and thats fine with me), but even then i just cant let go of this. i still want to keep going, because why wouldnt i? this thing has been with me forever, i dont want to abandon it. i mean, its not much, but its all i got lolol
#my dad's partner told me i lost weight and thats just... i mean yeah but yk#i want to grip him and say ''IM NOT OKAY IN THE HEAD BRO DONT TELL ME I LOOK GOOD'' but how is he supposed to know right#anyway
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I bet getting crossed off a to do list feels good as fuck for a task
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very very evil to be a child in 2008 and an adult in 2025
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doing the prettiest lip combo just for the balls of my fucking septum to smudge it all over the place </3
#can i live? can i fucking live?#''oh well just wear lipstick instead of gloss'' NO. I WANT MY LIPS TO LOOKS JUICY AND WET.#i mean they are correct there are solutions to this#could get those lip things that have a clear gloss on one side that locks the lipstick in place so it doesnt look matte#but even that isnt going to win against my septum. i think. it also wears away eventually
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“listen to your body” what if my body says do whatever you want all the time
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i need something beautiful and romantic to happen to me NOW
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i actually understand why britney shaved her hair and crashed out at 25
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i hope every animal ever is having a good day today
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on the count of 3 we are all going to wake up and it was just a bad dream are you ready
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