decimo-sphinx

[decimo-sphinx]

oh to be a cat

[decimo-sphinx]

[decimo-sphinx]

AAAAAAAAAAAA

ANG LUNGKOT PUTANGINA!!!!!!!!

[decimo-sphinx]

[decimo-sphinx]

BoJack Horseman - S02E12

[decimo-sphinx]

It's Not Living If It's Not With You - The 1975

I EM BACK!! (from the ded lol)

The past months have been tough, like, real tough for me. It felt like i was aimlessly wandering around, trying to find my place in this world, constantly wondering if one thing had been different, would everything be different today? did i make the right choice? And so, I found myself running away from it all. Constantly seeking that validation from strangers haha. i know i know toxic, but hello tao lang ako?

In spite all of these, I AM BEYONNND GRATEFUL for all of my friends who are my support system. They extended their hands for me to reach, saving me from drowning. Even the stranger I met sa omegle contributed positive influence on me naman noh, he made me want to take care of myself better. They made me want to get back on my feet once again, and hopefully become a better version of myself.

Truthfully, i'm still a work in progress, and it's a slowwww oneee. There are still days that even getting out of bed is hard to do na. Like I just want to dissipate into thin air or bury myself in the ground like a potato. That's alright tho! I'm taking my time. I'm learning to reassure myself that it's all part of the process, to be kind to myself, and that better days are coming.

Ayon, ang endpoint ko lang naman dito ay:

Getting out of a long term relationship which i hoped to last was incredibly hard. after a long time, i felt so lonely haha, welp, that's 4yrs eh.

BUT, i might be single and alone, pero hindi naman pala ako mauubusan ng pagmamahal at ligaya sa paligid ko?

There's my fam na laging naghihintay sa akin umuwi from work (naiinis pag di me naguupdate haha jowa who??). Paghahainan ako ng pagkain paguwi, papabayaan akong mag me time at gumala mag isa, cos they know na kailangan ko huhu.

There's our pets na sumasalubong sa'kin paguwi, walang palya, excited na excited silang yakapin ako haha.

There's my friends na sasamahan ako anywhere and willing ako ampunin sa bahay nila whenever i feel lost? People who knows even the nooks and crannies of my existence???

There's SEVENTEEN?

(there's this stranger too na I can message anytime).

Most of all, I myself should be the biggest source of love and happines in my life. Sabi nga, it's myself against the world at the end of the day HAHAHA.

So, cheers to continuous self-discovery, healing, acceptance, taking up space!!, and choosing myself everyday.

-- The sun will rise, and we will try again. (Photos below are from my fave ganaps with friends the past months) <33

[decimo-sphinx]

— Haruki Murakami, Norwegian Wood

[decimo-sphinx]

“And once the storm is over, you won’t remember how you made it through, how you managed to survive. You won’t even be sure, whether the storm is really over. But one thing is certain. When you come out of the storm, you won’t be the same person who walked in. That’s what this storm’s all about.”

— Haruki Murakami; Kafka on the Shore

[decimo-sphinx]

[decimo-sphinx]

i guess june is another sad month, meh?

disappointment

synecdoche, new york (2008) dir. charlie kaufman // autobiography of red by anne carson // bojack horseman, 3.07 // the long and short of it by richard siken // fallen angels (1995) dir. wong kar-wai

[decimo-sphinx]

Cats with hearts ♡

[decimo-sphinx]

spirited away - 2001

[decimo-sphinx]

23.

So, i turned 23 last Friday. Can't believe it's been a week, oh boy, time does fly so fast. Photo was taken on the same day as well, a manager at work gave me SB gift certs, so i thought I'd give it a try. coffee was great, mali nga lang spelling ng pangalan ko.

Ayon na nga, I didn't know what made me so sad during my birthday. maybe it's the fact that i'm getting older? turning into an adult stuck in the adult world? idunno. do we really need a reason to be sad? baka hormones ko lang yon kasi my vagina suddenly gave me a gift, my period. ugh.

But then, monday came, a sad news greeted me.

One of my patient employees died due to cancer. February --, my birthday. I was shocked kahit na once ko lang siya nameet and the last time i saw him was October. Ewan ko bakit, pero chineck ko viber ko to see when he was last seen online.

In retrospect, I believe that the fact that I had just celebrated another year was what made the news particularly sad. While another person reached the end of their journey on the same day, I was adding another year to my life.

[decimo-sphinx]

Happy birthday Ilayda! ♡ @kagehjna

[decimo-sphinx]

‧₊˚✩彡.♡ あの子の心象は読めますか? その心を黒く染めたのは? 💭

⏍ like or reblog ㅡ ★☆

[decimo-sphinx]

*･｡✧ MINGYU LAYOUTS — like or reblog if you save/use

[decimo-sphinx]

meanie in SVT’s first profile sketch