declineofcivilizationorwtf

[declineofcivilizationorwtf]

Women and Tattoos

I have a confession to make, I’m not a huge fan of tattoos on women, especially on today’s women. Gone are the days when body art was relegated to rebellious teens or sailors trying to impress their fellow shipmates. Nowadays, tattoos on women have become as ubiquitous as pumpkin spice lattes in fall). It seems I can’t turn on my TV without a trailer park over weight mother of six trying to win…

[declineofcivilizationorwtf]

Confessions of a Terrible Writer

I’m a terrible writer. No, no, you don’t have to say I’m not just to make me feel better. I know the truth and have known it for over sixty years. You see, to be honest with you, my grammar sucks, and don’t get me started on my spelling. I’ll just say about half the words I misspell Spell Check just tells me “I have no f’ing idea.” My only salvation is the “Editor” on my 365. Let me take you…

[declineofcivilizationorwtf]

A Micro of My Drinking Days

I have a confession to make: I used to drink. Yes, I know it must come as a shock to a lot of my friends. My problem was I didn’t just drink, I drank. I drank like there was no tomorrow. As most of  my friends would tell you, I did everything in excess. In my defense or excuse, I only drank on weekends and holidays. No matter what religion, I observed it. It all started with a simple choice:…

[declineofcivilizationorwtf]

Oh God, Am I Actually Looking to Buy a Walker?

Well, it finally happened. I’ve officially crossed a line in the sand that I did not think I would ever encounter in my life. I mean the mobility scooter was bad enough, but this. There I was, scrolling mindlessly through social media, admiring videos of idiots jumping off buildings, and then it hit me—not a sudden craving for a Snickers bar but rather a realization that I might be on the…

[declineofcivilizationorwtf]

Remember Who, What, Where?

I have a dilemma and it’s starting to wear on me. For the past few (actually it’s more than a few) years, I have been getting more and more forgetful—not just little things like forgetting my glasses, keys or wallet, which I do more often than not, but memories, past and not so past. Nor do I remember the events that took place, If the truth were to be told, I have basically no meaningful…

[declineofcivilizationorwtf]

Beliefs

In today’s social media, beliefs can range from being deeply held and meaningful to utterly bizarre or illogical. I, for one, have never believed extreme or stupid beliefs. But human beliefs can be fascinating and sometimes perplexing, encompassing a wide range of themes that reflect culture, tradition, psychology, and even historical context. Many cultures have superstitions that can appear…

[declineofcivilizationorwtf]

Double Vision II

I mentioned in a previous blog that I have double vision. Of all the things double vision screws up, the one question that came to mind was “How do I type”? Typing a blog with double vision is an experience I can only describe as both laughable and slightly terrifying. Picture this: there I am, perched at my laptop, fingers hovering over the keyboard, and instead of seeing just one bright screen…

[declineofcivilizationorwtf]

Handicap Parking

 I don’t know how many of my friends have a Handicap parking permit, but if you do, you earned it through endless doctor appointments and medical procedures. Unless you’re one of the few lucky ones who have eaten their way to a permit, read between the lines. Welcome to my little corner of the internet where I shed light on a phenomenon so baffling, so outrageous, that it can only be described…

[declineofcivilizationorwtf]

The Old Man on the Mountain

I live on the top of a mountain. Why, you ask? Because it’s the perfect vantage point to hate everything from a distance. Yes, from up here, I can grumble about all the things I despise without interruption. Come with me as I share my disdain for pretty much everything, especially living on a mountain top. First off, I’m on top of this mountain because my wife decided I’m gonna live on a…

[declineofcivilizationorwtf]

Cell Phone or Hell Phone

The cell phone—a tiny device that’s taken over our lives and glued itself to our hands. I remember a time when the biggest communication innovation was yelling across the street. Now, I can’t imagine life without that little piece of plastic in my hands. Texting has become its own language. Forget proper grammar; now, it’s all about abbreviations and emojis. “LOL” and “OMG” have replaced actual…

[declineofcivilizationorwtf]

Wag the Dog

Let’s talk death. I know, I know I talk about it too much, but when you are close to something, well, it’s always on your mind. But study after study has proven that 100% of us must deal with death at some point in our life, whether it is a family member, friend, or our own demise—don’t blink, death is right around the corner. There is no handbook for the way we are going to die. Let’s face…

[declineofcivilizationorwtf]

Wag the Dog

Let’s talk death. I know, I know I talk about it too much, but when you are close to something, well, it’s always on your mind. But study after study has proven that 100% of us must deal with death at some point in our life, whether it is a family member, friend, or our own demise—don’t blink, death is right around the corner. There is no handbook for the way we are going to die. Let’s face…

[declineofcivilizationorwtf]

My Heart MRI (Miserable Rotten Idiocy)

I never thought I’d find myself in a situation that could only be described as “ridiculously serious yet oddly comical,” but here we are. It all started when my doctor suggested I get a heart MRI to check on, well, my heart. At my age, I’m used to routine check-ups and the occasional blood test, but this felt different—almost like signing up for an extreme sport without understanding the…

[declineofcivilizationorwtf]

Are We Getting Dumber, One Generation at a Time?

Humanity, once a robust, flavorful soup of intellect and innovation, is now turning into a watery, bland broth of confusion. It’s like when I watered down my coffee, my ex-wife once told me I didn’t drink coffee—I drink water with an attitude. This is my Dilution Theory—an exploration of how the gene pool might just be thinning out, making us dumber and dumber. Remember the days when we used to…

[declineofcivilizationorwtf]

My Morning Shuffle

Years ago, er many years ago, I used to wake up, splash some water on my face, brush my teeth, and I was out the door. These days, getting ready in the morning is a bit more…let’s say, involved. I have to get assembled, and to be honest, it wears me out. First things first—my teeth. No, not the ones I was born with—the ones I invested in later in life. Finding them is always a fun game. Did I…

[declineofcivilizationorwtf]

Those Pesky Drones or Whatever

The east coast is quite abuzz these days. Residents are running around with excitement and confusion as drones were spotted hovering mysteriously over various cities. Was it a government operation? Extraterrestrial visitors? Or just me playing with my new toy? It’s hard to tell, perhaps they need to bring my cousin. Joe Bob Billy up from Georgia to shoot one down as Trump suggested. It all…

[declineofcivilizationorwtf]

My Morning Shuffle

Years ago, er many years ago, I used to wake up, splash some water on my face, brush my teeth, and I was out the door. These days, getting ready in the morning is a bit more…let’s say, involved. I have to get assembled, and, to be honest, it wears me out. First things first—my teeth. No, not the ones I was born with—the ones I invested in later in life. Finding them is always a fun game. Did I…