deeeeelightful

[deeeeelightful]

“I’m not in love with you, but can we be friends?”

Aren’t friends built out of love?

So what are we then? Strangers with a history of love that was never there?

[deeeeelightful]

There’s a poem somewhere in the fact that when my dad packs me lunch he always packs too many snacks, and when my mom does, she always packs too little.

[deeeeelightful]

The ocean nearly killed me twice

Once because of hubris and once for just the crime of existence.

The second time was at a beach I was familiar with, before I even became double digits. Just that morning, my mom drove me and my best friend who I've lost track of, the exposed skin of our legs sticking on the leather seats of my moms minivan. I brag about how good of a swimmer I am. I even go so far as to claim the ocean was my friend. That we had an understanding.

On hour 3 I grew restless on the shallow shore. I ventured out. Usually there was a dip, and then flat land deep enough so my head was just above water. So I swam out. And out. And out. When I turned back around the shore, my family, was a spec. I began to swam back. I couldn't. The current had a hold on my legs that was too strong for 7 year old me to fight off. But I tried. And I grew tired.

Eventually a whistle blew and a lifeguard was sudden running toward me. And looking back, I laugh at myself, because even moments away from drowning, I felt bad for making a scene.

The first time I was much smaller.

Barely old enough to walk, let alone swim, I had waddled down to the shore to collect water for my cousins sand castle. That was my job. Looking back that was just there way of getting me out of their hair, but that's what cousins are for.

Scooping up the water in my bucket bigger than my head, I had neglected the wave coming up behind me. It hits me, but with nit much force. When it washes away, I laugh and go chasing after my bucket--deeper into the sea. Another wave comes, smaller this time. I laugh again, my curls sticking to my face and the bucket being returned to my small hands.

A third waves comes in, and I stare at it. This ones twice as big. I wait, giggling as I anticipate the feeling of the cold water hitting me. I think to myself how proud my dad will be when I show him I remember what he taught me.

My legs end up over my head.

I was too small to fight back. I fell limp. I let go of any air I had left, water filling my lungs. Is it strange to say I accepted death before I knew what it was?

The next time I opened my eyes, my dad was holding me up by one of my forearm and telling me I was alright.

I haven't gone in the ocean since the second time. But the tastes of it still lingers in my mouth.

[deeeeelightful]

I guess I’m on tumblr like officially now so I should do an intro post huh.

Well fuck.

Hey Losers

I’m Dee, I’m a 16 year old professional dumbass.

I like a lot of things. My philosophy is that if it’s cool I’ll try my hand at it. Nothing can stop me from picking up a hobby and then abandoning it 2 days later :p

She/they but I don’t really care. I’ll respond either way.

I do witchy shit and get really philosophical after 9 pm

Don’t expect a lot out of me lol I’m on and off

Some things I like (this list will never end so expect updates) :

DC (specifically Batfam)

Marauders

Supernatural

Doctor Who

Gravity Falls

Spiderman (and its respective multiverses)

Magnus Archives

Theater

Technical theater

Photography

Halloween

Percy Jackson

Fashion

Makeup

Music (usually older stuff)

Old stuffed

Jewelry

I’m also writing some stuff so you might see that here and there lol. If I feel like it maybe I’ll make another blog just for that but who knows

Toodles, darlin 💋