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rip

i cannot take another L this is too much...

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i cannot take another L this is too much...

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yeah, the almost cut off my thumb with a cleaver happened because they were doing construction while i was chopping up fruits, and the sudden jackhammer startled me.... big l for this loser

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im doing my best to get something out to you guys soon i promise!!!! i wanted to get it out on my b-day but life is on my neck

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so, like.... a little update.... have not been hit by the ao3 author curse, i just think i am unlucky <333 and i live in the lower mainland. i think the city just heard that i'm moving without experiencing the metrovan trifecta and someone just had to steal my car just to make sure i got the full experience of the west coast.

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hey guys. um, not dead. just drowning.

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how would you guys feel abt me potentially writing an actual original story??? i wouldn't put s&r on the backburner, but i would have to focus more on the original fiction especially if i get a patreon

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I hope you reach enough for the new laptop ♡

thank you anon!!! i'm hoping so, too. i think i'll be able to put about 80 on this paycheck towards the laptop. i hope your day is going well!! 💙

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spoilers! do not read if you're not willing to read potential spoilers about s&r.

i just wanted to get my thoughts out about exactly why i chose to create charlotte. she's a direct response to what the show did and didn't do.

the show talked a lot about hope being klaus' chance at redemption because he would finally have a child to love unconditionally and would love him in return. great story. except, their execution sucked and marcel was right there!!! what's even more important is that he's a SON, too. the themes the show had about klaus trying to overcome the difficult relationship with fatherhood from both sides should've been done with marcel. because he's not his son by blood, just like klaus wasn't mikael's son by blood either. (hope as a whole concept was a nonsense retcon to justify creating the originals and looping in hayley.) people don't talk about how much of marcel is moulded in klaus' image, except marcel began working on himself and healing much earlier than his sire. a lot of that way klaus raised marcel paralleled the way mikael raised him; that expectation of indomitable strength, that unwillingness to lose, the relentlessness. he even speaks like mikael when he's angry at marcel. it's a lot of toxic masculinity, but it wasn't always bad which was why marcel was helpless in the fact he loved klaus. he was much more protective of marcel and he clearly treasured him. he was also possessive of marcel's respect and love, the way he always is. you can see a lot klaus within marcel's character, which is exactly why charlotte is important in s&r.

i created charlotte to contrast marcel and klaus. there's a poem called this be the verse by phillip larkin and i think that's extremely relevant to klaus and marcel's dynamic. what i wanted to show was that this isn't always the case because marcel chose to break the cycle. he's pulling away from what's been taught to him and he's re-learning about what he wants in life. i hope everyone saw that when marcel didn't object to charlotte getting close to the mikaelsons because he knows he has a special place in her life. he doesn't need her to only have him. he's healed from his childhood wounds, but klaus hasn't.

i wanted to pose these questions with charlotte's existence: would klaus have given up power and riches for marcel? would he have placed himself in danger for him? would he have altered his entire life for him? would he have placed marcel above himself? (the latter is a no, but not consciously, because klaus always placed himself above marcel in terms of emotional safety. see his reaction to elijah and marcel being close in the latter's childhood.)

another thing is that i wanted to challenge the show's confusing thesis on family. they presented mikael as a monster for abusing klaus and justifying it because he was an affair baby unrelated to him by blood. how does that differ from how they treated marcel who they claim as family but isn't related via blood? because he evidently was treated worse compared to the blood relations. i think the show should've went the route of 'yes, family is important, but family is not always the people you're related to by blood, but also the people you choose to love and who choose to love you in return' and they should've done that with marcel's story line in regards to redeeming klaus. because he could've broken the cycle in which his 'father' inflicted upon him (even more relevant is that marcel was abused by his biological dad because he was his affair baby. their scenarios are inverted, which is potentially the incorrect word, but hopefully you understand what i'm saying.)

in s&r, marcel is doing all of that for charlotte which is important to the story... i think.

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A silly ask, but i’m in the olympic mood! Since Ana has archery skills = to those who are in the olympics, who would be her biggest fans if she was in the olympic? I’m just imagining the Mikaelsons’ and friends opening the tv one day, just to see her on tv, emulating badass energy like Kim Ye-ji or Yusuf Dikec 😎

i don't know when i can next update, so i'll definitely indulge you anon!!

so, ana is v good at archery and sharpshooting simply due to her familial background. she prefers a moving target (she's fire at fps games even though she thinks they're boring), but it's fine if they're still. i don't think she'd ever agree to be an olympian because working in front of a crowd is her personal nightmare, but say that she for some reason does....

her biggest fans would definitely be kol, marcel, and surprisingly elijah. the thought of any potential misjudgements or cheating would incense kol and he's definitely tracking ana's progress through the games. marcel is just a hype man through and through; wants ana to win just to say he knows an olympic gold medallist. elijah is a fan of archery/sharpshooting because it's one of the few sports that vampires wouldn't have a natural advantage in (besides strength for the bow) and would be extremely supportive of ana. he'd also understand her distaste for losing (she doesn't care about winning, just prefers the relief of not losing).

klaus, finn, and rebekah are supportive, but they only care because ana is involved. there are other olympic sports they prefer, or they just don't care for the olympics at all (i mean, they can all run faster, jump higher, etc than most olympians already). they all respect the sport because they grew up around archery, but they don't care for it as fans.

among ana's friends, her biggest supporter would be jasmine and gabriel. they'd be constantly posting her on their socials, hyping her up, saying that she'll be the gold medallist, and breaking records. jamila, heejin, and koji obviously expect for her to do well because she's motivated by the idea of not embarrassing herself, but they all have different olympic sports they prefer keeping track of.

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I know for sure that you can't help all families from Gaza that want to be evacuated from here but at least you can help those who come across your life. You have no idea how mentally and emotionally tiring this is. Asking for help is not easy. But when thinking that the price is my family's life and getting out of here safely, it just pushes me more and more to do this until i reach my goal, be able to attend my university abroad and achieve my doctoral degree dream after awarding prestigious PhD fellowship. Please donate and share to support us standing at this hard time.

https://gofund.me/d597b8e2

i'm sorry i can't help you out more beyond boosting this message. i hope that this reaches more people and they're able to help you. may you, your family, and everyone you love remain safe.

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Fanfic writers are like crows. If you give them treats (comments) they will bring you shiny things (fanfic)

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sojournment & reinvention: anastasia lau, the very tired girl

[ana lau]: ✌️ ana one - big head loser ass deities zero

take a look beneath to see the images of the other characters in sojournment & reinvention.

on the left image, we see other members of the supernaturally stupid squad and ana's cousin tetsuo. it goes gabriel caringal, tetsuo takatsukasa, jamila tang, jasmine yeung, heejin kim, and koji asano.

on the right image, we see the members of the mikaelson family going from eldest to youngest; freya, finn, elijah, klaus, kol, and rebekah. this is how they look in s&r; none of the tragic hair or fashion choices the stylists made.

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From your pinterest, Ana has such long and luscious hair .

Which of the mikealsons would be more likely to play with it? i see Rebekah just styling Anas’ hair to her hearts’ content

yes, ana does!! she keeps it long because it's one of the only ways to keep her naturally wavy hair tamed since she hates styling her hair. she straightens it for business/work and brushes it out to mild waves on the daily. she hates the humidity because her hair acts up with frizz and fluffing up.

i will say all of the mikaelsons like ana's hair, but all for different reasons.

rebekah loves to play with ana's hair and gets her to model hair styles for her or so she practice hot tool styles. she gets absolutely insulted when she learns that ana has natural waves she doesn't bother to style. (the fact she doesn't have many friends who are girls and only brothers she knows of really contributes to her liking to bond through traditionally 'feminine' activities).

elijah enjoys running his fingers through ana's hair or twining his hand in it. he actually likes the humidity when her waves become more evident because she looks much more like herself and, therefore, attractive.

finn is another ana natural hair truther. he likes it because she prefers to wear headbands to keep it out of her face and he likes playing with the ends of her hair by twisting them around his fingers.

klaus likes ana's hair since it carries a lot of her scent and he's another one that enjoys the natural waves because it makes her look less polished. he enjoys burying his face into it and the fluffiness is a bonus.

kol doesn't have a preference for ana's hairstyle, but it's great for him because he likes mindlessly braiding it and running his fingers through it. but he does think the amount of hair she has makes her look like a fairy.

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Would you consider Ana a self-insert for yourself? How did you create her character?

oh, absolutely not!! there's a lot of things about ana that i could never emulate and would never want to. i think the only thing i'd really say about ana that is similar to me is our struggle with mental health, introversion, and sticking to the background. she's much more friendly, mischievous, and vindictive than i could ever be. there's also the fact she's much more of an active force in her life and she can be so meddlesome.

i honestly created anastasia as a reaction to what frustrated me about what wasn't present in tvd/to especially with east/south east asian representation. i wanted someone who could represent the duality of soft yet strong while being morally grey with her own agenda unrelated to romance. there's a lot about ana that i just created out of the need to fill a certain gap that canon never did.

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Does Ana have a preference for looks? Which of the Mikaelsons suit her taste the most?

i didn't think too much about this aspect of ana, but like... she has eyes and preferences. everyone does.

from my characterisation of her, she mainly grew up around her cousins and generally doesn't like pretty boys due to them (reminds her too much of her cousins). her preference for women lean towards femme fatale baddies (think ada wong from resident evil).

ana already knows two men that fit her aesthetic preference almost entirely, and one of them is koji (built like a brick wall, broad shouldered, sharp features, nice hair—think leon kennedy if he played rugby and had black hair). it's why she's so desensitised to good looks.

her preference for the mikaelson brothers, physically, probably goes finn > elijah > klaus = kol.

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i have the opportunity to update within the next few days with a 5k chap or would you guys prefer to wait maybe 3 weeks for a longer chap?