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terrifying monstrosity: who could possibly love me when I am a terrifying monstrosity  me, stretched out on the table in front of them with a rose between my teeth: well

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I remember when people pretended to care about bees for a few years because they were an indicator species and now I’m getting replies to that post like “idc if all bugs die as long as we get rid of mosquitos and flies and cockroaches” YOURE GONNA FUCKING DIE!!!!! WE WILL DIE TOO!!!!! WE WILL ALL DIE WITHOUT BUGS!!!! IM NOT KIDDING!!!!

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I don't want anybody going into debt for it, but if my funeral has the budget for it, I would like to have a carved portrait on my tombstone depicting Death as some sort of reluctant animal control professional, wielding one of those stick-loop things instead of a scythe, and myself as some sort of a wretched medieval manuscript creature that has no intention to comply with the process of being removed from the premises.

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you guys will reblog anything istg

this is an image with exactly 1x1 pixels. come on, reblog it. i fucking dare you.

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Why the hell do terfs seem to love Morticia Addams so much. How the fuck is she their icon in any conceivable way. She is literally married to a man whom she loves and took his last name. And she is passionately uninterested in judging other people for whatever the fuck they're doing.

The corpse of Lord Percival of the Round Table could reanimate in the basement and clamber up the stairs to announce "you know I always wanted to be a woman, I never got the chance to try that when I was alive", and Morticia would just go "oh that's nice dear. Let's see if I have some dresses that would suit you, if you're planning to stay."

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what is your holy trinity of fruits

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Hit the hay so hard last night that i found the needle

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No, I would not steal a car. However, if I had the ability to create a copy of someone's car that I could have for free while the other person retained their original car, I would definitely do that.

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another occasion of the dashboard lining up perfectly

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don’t!!! fake!!!! your!!!! interests!!!! to!!!! make!!!! someone!!!! like!!!!! you!!!!

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I love going to bed. I lay down on the comfiest object I own (bed) and my only job for the next 8-10 hours is to be as cozy as possible

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🌾🌾🌾

Harvesting my wheat

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still thinking about when i saw a girl on here with ~3 partners and one of them was a lesbian with a “MEN DNI” banner and one of them was a tboy with a “‘MEN DNI’ DNI” banner

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just overheard my dad on the phone going “yeah, i’d be more than happy to buy her daughter off of you, how much would you be willing to trade her for?” and got Very Worried for a second before remembering that he manages dairy farms for a living. surely there’s gotta be a better way to word that man

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Alex Hirsch you will always be a legend to me

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