demongrocer

[demongrocer]

found a rock in the kitchen and as I was about to throw it in the trash I thought "wait this is cruel I should let it outside" as if it was a living thing

[demongrocer]

Once upon a time a game developer traded their soul for hyperrealistic human pores and in return the devil took away Finished Game and Only Pay One Time, things we didn’t even know were optional

[demongrocer]

I was wondering, could I possibly get a small list of phrases you’d recommend when complimenting someone? I’m in a sewing group and most are Spaniards, but I’m getting tired of just saying “Qué hermosa!” “Increíble!” on their photos lol. So maybe related to complimenting skills or looks (of people/items). I feel like me saying the same thing all the time makes it seem disingenuous when I really do think their work is fantastic.

I'll just include some things that might help and kind of explain it as I go if I feel it needs explanation:

bonito/a = cute

lindo/a = cute

precioso/a = cute, pretty

All of these are kind of the same, though precioso/a is also "pretty" not specifically just "cute"

You can also say things like qué lindo color "what a pretty color" or qué bonita tela "what lovely fabric"

Just some additional sewing vocab:

a mano = handmade / by hand hacer (algo) a mano = to make something by hand

coser = to sew/knit

tejer = to weave

el bordado = embroidery, needle point bordar = to embroider

el hilo = thread/string/yarn

la aguja = needle

la rueca = spinning wheel

la tela = fabric

la lana = wool (or fuzzy fabric like fleece)

el terciopelo = velvet

el encaje = lace

el algodón = cotton

la manta = blanket

la colcha = quilt / bedspread

la almohada = pillow

el cojín = cushion, small pillow

el peluche = plushie, stuffed animal

la textura = texture

el tejido = weave [like the makeup of something sewn/woven, but also can mean "tissue" when discussing biology like human tissue etc that's el tejido but it's kind of like structure]

blando/a = soft, fuzzy

la habilidad = ability, skill

la artesanía = craftsmanship / handicrafts

And some things you can say which are going to be a lot of adjectives

genial = great

asombroso/a = amazing

alucinante = amazing, awesome

acogedor(a) = cozy, inviting/welcoming

hermoso/a = beautiful

bello/a = beautiful [very intense]

tierno/a = cute / tender

impresionante = impressive

me gusta = I like it me gustan = I like them

me encanta = I love it me encantan = I love them

lo/la adoro = I love it los/las adoro = I love them

Some very Spain things you can say:

guay = cool [adj]

molar = to be cool [mola muchísimo is "it's really cool", or ¡cómo mola! is like "that's so cool!"]

flipar = "to be amazing" [flipar is an expression of shock - usually good or surprise like a WOW, kind of like "flipping out" but in a good way; but saying estoy flipando is like "I'm blown away" ...you can also say flipar en colores which is even more intense... it's literally "to flip out / trip out in colors" but it's like "I can't believe it!"]

menudo/a = very

menudo/a takes some explaining - it's like qué but with nouns, so it comes out like "what a" or "so"

Spain could say ¡vaya, menuda preciosidad! "wow, what a beauty!" for example; it's very similar to how English uses "quite" where for Spain specifically it's "very" adjacent

-

Some compliments you can say:

se ve muy bien = it looks really good [ver + se is "to look/appear", literally it's "it is seen very well"]

te superaste a ti mismo/a = you outdid yourself [lit. "you overcame yourself" or "you surpassed yourself"]

no somos dignos (de ti) = we're not worthy [something you could say with a bowing emoji or crying emoji]

eres todo un experto / una experta = you're a real expert

tienes mucho talento, estoy celoso/a = you're so talented, I'm jealous

¡qué belleza! = what a beauty!

se nota tu pasión = "I can see you're passionate" [lit. "your passion can be noticed"]

eres bueno/a haciendo eso = you're good at (doing) that

se te da muy bien (tejer) = you're very good at knitting

te queda bien = it suits you / it fits you well

¡ánimo! = "good luck", "you can do it" [it's kind of like "cheer" but it's wishing someone well in doing something that will take effort]

¡tú puedes! = you can do it! [English-speakers tend to want to put hacer in there, but Spanish says things like tú puedes "you can do it", or sí se puede "yes we can" (like "yes it can be done") - this is the kind of thing you'd post with an arm flex emoji like a Rosie the Riveter thing]

darse bien is an expression meaning "to be good at", kind of like "it gives itself well to you" when you fully expand it because it's se te da bien [or possibly se te da mal "you're bad at it" or se te da fatal "you're awful at it"]

The expression uses a passive expression darse + indirect object... so it could be se me da bien "I'm good at it", se le da bien "he/she is good at it"

...There are times when it could be plural like se te dan bien las matemáticas "you're good at math(s)"... but it's often singular, and can ONLY be singular with a verb; like se te da bien borar "you're good at embroidery" or se te da bien hacer cosas a mano "you're good at making things by hand"

...te queda bien is also an indirect object it's literally "it remains good on you", but it can be quedar(le) can be "to suit someone", or with clothes "to fit"

Another thing you can say if someone is showing off clothes is te sienta como un guante which is "it fits you like a glove"... from sentar "to settle" so it's "it settles on you like a glove"

-

Some further notes, you can use superlatives [adjectives ending in ísimo/a to add more emphasis] and the diminutives [nouns/adjectives often ending in -ito/a or some other suffixes] to imply cuteness or affection

As an example - te esforzaste muchísimo "you put in a lot of effort", literally "you really put in a LOT of effort"

Or you can say es bellísimo/a "it's REALLY beautiful", or buenísimo/a "really good"

...

And finally, a phrase you can totally use is - es tan blandito que me quiero morir which is how Spain translated "it's so fluffy I'm gonna die"

Literally "it's so soft [diminutive] that I want to die"

[demongrocer]

I've got so many other things to do but instead of doing them I'm obsessively spinning this giant 200gr rainbow roving I bought last October.

Working on my green trousers? No. Knitting my scrap socks? No. Doing my taxes? Hell no. Dinner? Probably not. D20 and rainbow yarn, nothing else.

[demongrocer]

I feel like every fiber artist has a craft that to them is unexplainable witchcraft

For example. Mine is card weaving. How do they manage all those cards? How do the cool designs just appear? Also crochet. How do you make some loops of yarn and then it becomes a piece of fabric

However, I spin, and my friends who crochet are always like “howwww????”. But to me, spinning makes perfect sense, and the crocheters and the witches

I just feel like all crafters have some other craft that to them in unexplainable despite doing a craft that is someone else’s unexplainable craft

[demongrocer]

...what is the "sex is just rock climbing" category

It was kind of a joke between me and a friend ("you wouldn't judge someone for having gone rock climbing with a bunch of different people") but honestly the more I thought about it the more I bought into it unironically because:

It is a physical activity done with one or more partners

You should only go rock climbing with people you trust to not let you fall

You should not go rock climbing with someone who is drunk or currently incapable of rational decision-making

Some people get super super super into rock climbing and do not shut up about all the places they have climbed and how many are left on their bucket list and these people are usually men between the ages of 20 and 35 and like it's fine dude I'm glad you're happy but I don't know what most of those mountains even are

While many consider it a fun activity, pressuring someone into climbing when they don't want to (or ignoring their feelings and just dangling them off a cliff,) could cause both psychological and physical trauma

There is no moral value to it whatsoever. Who you have gone rock climbing with (or whether you have rock climbed at all) has no bearing on who you are as a person. Imagine telling someone "it's not that heights make you nauseous, it's just that you haven't found the right person to belay you!" or "you need to save your first time rock climbing for someone special." That would be absurd.

For some people it is a deep and moving personal experience.

historically I have not asked myself "will this aggravate my hip flexor injury" before participating when perhaps I should have 😔

[demongrocer]

I was reading earlier today about how, in Scandinavian folklore, the nomenclature that's usually rendered as "ring" in modern English can variously refer to bracelets, armlets, or torcs as well as to finger rings. It's usually clear from context which is intended, though there are some legendary "rings" whose form is not specified in surviving accounts.

This ambiguity is, of course, not present in Tolkien's Lord of the Rings; though the work and its titular object are inspired by these sagas, the One Ring is clearly described as a finger ring. However, my brain has seized upon the finger-ring-or-bracelet ambiguity and spontaneously produced an anachronistic 1990s teen movie version of The Lord of the Rings in which the One "Ring" is a cursed slap bracelet.

[demongrocer]

When I am appointed to represent a child, my first action is to separate them from their parents and tell them the following things:

1. I am their attorney. I do not work for their parent or the judge or the cops. I don’t care what any of those people want.

2. My job is to listen to them and try and make what they want happen in court. (At this point I make a joke about how most people want me to get them out of trouble but if someone wanted to be in trouble I would do my best.)

3. What they tell me is confidential. It goes nowhere unless they agree to it. (If old enough, I talk to them about mandatory reporters, and how I’m a mandatory non reporter.)

4. I will give them lots of advice because I’ve been doing court for a while and I know a lot about it, and they don’t. It’s all really complicated, and if they don’t understand what’s happening it’s my job to help them figure it out.

5. They will make the decisions. (At this point I usually have to reassure them that I’ll help, I’ll speak for them in front of the judge, and I’ve got their back. It’s scary to have an adult say you’re in charge, most of the time.)

6. I tell them I know it’s absolutely wild to have some stranger come in here and say “hey, you can trust me!” and that I get if they don’t believe everything right away, because I plan to show them through my actions and my words that I’ll fight for them.

7. But nonetheless, I will treat them like a person who can make decisions, because they are living their life and I am not.

I do not:

Pretend to be cool.

Try to be their BFF.

Overwhelm them with detail.

Let their parents in the room until the kid asks for them. (I provide openings for this, and ask if the kid wants their parent to help them remember and understand.)

I want to emphasize I went into this job knowing nothing about how to interact with vulnerable populations, especially children. The training was minimal, and my role means that I can literally walk into a facility and get an unmonitored visit with a minor client one on one.

In my years of practice I have never felt threatened by a child, even one that was “violent” and “unstable.” It turns out just saying “hi, I think you’re a person with thoughts” is wildly successful? Now people treat me like I have special Child Whisperer powers. My powers are that I ask the child what’s up and I’m not scared to say things that are objectively awkward. I know nothing about anything.

[demongrocer]

[demongrocer]

When I was little I was fully 100% certain that vampires would have hollow fangs. I never explained this to anyone but I knew in my child heart that when vampires bit people they used their hollow fangs to suck blood like two tiny straws.

This seemed very sensible and left less mess than just biting someone with sharp teeth, obviously.

I think it was because I was an Animal Facts kind of kid and I knew venomous snakes could have hollow fangs so I just superimposed that idea onto vampires.

The funniest part of this is that it never came up in conversation, people would reference them drinking blood and I’d be like yeah of course, and in my head I’d be thinking: with their little sippy teeth, they drink blood, we’re on the same page.

It wasn’t until sometime in high school that the topic was broached in a way that made me question this. When I voiced my conviction about hollow teeth I was laughed at. Once I was questioning whether it was a silly thing to think I was forced to imagine how hard it would be to suck blood through two tubes tiny enough to be in teeth moreover how would you make inner fang suction and realized I’d had the weirdest headcanon about vampires for most of my life.

Editing to add that after a day full of vampire silliness I’m actually delighted to know I wasn’t the only person to think this.

[demongrocer]

Things just transpired in my house hold that are equal parts offensive and hilarious… Here goes.

So my roommate, Dale, has a gf who does not live with us, but she’s here all the time. So Sunday when my gf was her we were on the couch and we kissed (scandalous, I know) and she saw it, and I’m pretty sure that’s the first time she’s seen us be affectionate, that’s neither here nor there.

So today she tells Dale she’s “uncomfortable” here and wants him to move out because she thinks me and my lady are going to hit on her or something, she doesn’t like living with lesbians, cause it’s not “normal”, so now I’m pissed. Then, Dale goes, “well you don’t live here, so it shouldn’t be a problem, just stop coming over”…things escalated and Dale is trying to break up with her, but she won’t leave our house….she locked herself in Dales room.

So, Dale barges in my room wearing a bathrobe and goes, “call every lesbian you know, we’re smoking this bitch out!” Then turns around and whips his robe like a cape…

And that’s the story of how there are 8 lesbians climbing through the window of Dales room…

[demongrocer]

Trans women will never be free until people stop having strong emotions about penises. Like we, as a society, have got to stop caring about dicks! Dicks have to stop symbolizing maleness, obviously, but they also have to stop symbolizing power, dominance, sexual agency and aggression, violence, and even sex itself. Like trans women can’t be free if the very conceptual presence of a penis represents an intrusion(!) of unwanted(!) sexuality(!) in public life. Like that’s why trans women are abhorrent to both male chauvinists and radical feminists, because both groups have extremely strong feelings about what a penis *represents*, and find the conceptual and actual presence of a woman with a penis to be simultaneously vile and nonsensical because they’ve loaded so much symbolic baggage onto both women and penises.

Anyway dicks are totally neutral body parts and seeing a dick, or a bulge in a swimsuit, or simply knowing that there’s a dick somewhere in the same bathroom as you isn’t harmful or violent

[demongrocer]

Happy pride month to my dad. When I came out as bi to him, this man googled what it ment, look at me and said "ohh. Yeah. You get that from me. You'd have far more siblings of I only shaged women." And went right back to his work emails.

[demongrocer]

[attempting to flirt] if i was stuck in a timeloop id desperately explain my situation to you every single reset

[demongrocer]

Spent tonight at a local short film festival. One of the shorts was made by two 12 year olds in their backyard and it was the best short of the entire night

[demongrocer]

Hello and welcome back to another Show and Tell Saturday! Show off a finished craft, a work in progress, or a completed trade - what's new in your world this week?

[demongrocer]

young man. what is that you have found.

I said young man. you picked it up off the ground.

I said young man. you should put that thing down.

I don't think! that! you! should! eat that!