depressedtransguy

[depressedtransguy]

[depressedtransguy]

[depressedtransguy]

Noooooo they retconned Star Wars Jizz

[depressedtransguy]

kylux who dated as teens, but it crashed and burned. when the worst of the animosity passed, they became friends again. they both have absolutely terrible taste in people and go through one bad relationship after the other.

in their thirties, they're both burned out. after hux's last and final disaster, they make an oath to never date again. it doesn't take long for kylo to get antsy. going on dates has been his main hobby for a long time. being free on friday night doesn't sit well with him. hux suggests kylo take him out. they're friends, so it won't be awkward. they already know each other, so they can both be themselves and hux doesn't mind being kylo's plus one, for whatever nonsense he wants to go to. it takes a lot of effort for kylo to not put his hands on hux. being tactile is a big part of how kylo flirts and even though they're friend-dates and not date-dates, kylo has a hard time stopping. hux has spent a lifetime watching kylo flirt – been on the receiving end as well – and is well aware. he can tell kylo feels bad and tells him to just go ahead and do it. it's not like it's gonna lead anywhere. if touching him makes kylo happy, then why not?

it goes well for a number of weeks. every friday, kylo takes hux somewhere new. they hang out, they have fun (kylo drapes himself all over hux). it's all the fun of dating, without the anxiety of whether or not they're a good match – there will always be another date. the lack of sex isn't a problem, per se. kylo has been single for extended periods of time before. he invests in a couple of new toys; it's not a problem.

until it sort of is.

spending every friday night watching hux suck on bottle necks and tumbler rims makes his mind wander.

"i miss kissing," he says, apropos of nothing. hux raises his eyebrow in question, after draining his glass. "are you a good kisser?"

"if this is you hitting on me–"

"it's not."

hux makes a considering sound. "i don't think i was bad when you and i ... you know. but i'd like to think i'm better now. by the looks of it, you are, too."

kylo grins. "been watching me kiss, have you?"

hux snorts. "hard not to, sometimes. you have no sense of propriety." kylo feels his cheeks heat up. "you're not as aggressive as you used to be. with me."

"yeah, well," kylo clears his throat, "you always complained about that."

"you never did take criticism well."

"you were my first kiss!" kylo says defensively.

hux considers him for a moment and smirks, "your first everything."

"oh, my god, you need to let that go," he groans. "i'm getting drinks. so many drinks – want a refill?"

"yes, please." kylo lets himself take a breather at the bar, but hux is still smirking when he gets back.

"thank you, darling," he says, sugary sweet.

kylo pulls the glass back out of reach, says, "don't pull that with me."

"pull what?" he damn near pouts.

"i never understood how you could do that," kylo says and hands over the tumbler, "hide how much of an asshole you really are."

hux shrugs. "pretending is easy when it's all you've ever done." he tries to brush it off, let the comment slide, but he has never been able to do that; not with hux.

"did you do that with me? aside from the obvious times, i mean."

hux looks at him and he can't get himself to breathe until hux replies.

"i don't think i did, no." kylo sits down next to him; closer than before he got up. hux runs a hand through his hair, says, "i never felt the need to do that with you." before kylo has a chance to reply, hux huffs, "you always saw right through me anyway."

"i don't think that's true. i just saw you." kylo grimaces. he can't tell if it's the alcohol or the countless dates they've been on, but, "i still compare every fucking relationship to us – to you. how fucked up is that? it's been twenty years."

hux looks ten shades of startled and sounds a bit rough when he says, "i don't think that's healthy – wait, what do you mean twenty?"

kylo frowns. "when we met?"

hux has had too much to drink to do math, but he closes his eyes and tries. "twenty. that's– that's a year before we started dating?"

"so?"

"what you're saying is you've been comparing every person you've ever dated to sixteen year old me? is this some– some convoluted way of saying you wanna get back together? you're a lying prick, kylo ren. this is you hitting on me!"

"so what if i am? would that be so bad?" he regrets it the moment the words leave his mouth, but charges on, "i know how stupid that is! i do! we were kids, but no one has ever loved me the way you did. i should've moved on years ago, but when have i ever done what i was supposed to? i'm stupid, hux, you know that–"

"kylo, stop."

"no! i should've told you fucking ages ago! i never should've let you break up with me–"

he doesn't get to finish before he has a lap full of intoxicated ex-boyfriend, enthusiastically trying to suck his tongue out of his mouth. "you're the most stupid man i've ever met."

kylo groans. no one does dirty talk like hux. the last time he had hux in his lap, hux was bigger than him. he holds on as tightly as he can, savouring every bit of it. "you promise?"

"i promise," hux says in between kisses. "no one makes my blood boil like you do."

kylo moans, already counting down the seconds till they'll be told to leave. "come home with me?"

"after only eleven dates?" hux hums. "a bit presumptuous, wouldn't you say?"

"grab your coat."

"what?"

kylo stands up and hux squeals. he bends down enough for hux to reach his coat and leaves the bar, with hux on his hip.

"where are you taking me?" hux asks, surprisingly fine with being carried like a toddler. "somewhere i can take your pants off without getting yelled at."

"i will yell at you," hux points out.

"i sure hope so," he grins.

.

x-posted to twitter

[depressedtransguy]

For @shortarms-bigteeth‘s fic ‘To the Ends of the Stars’ which is my favourite Kylux fic. The world and characterbuilding is so meticulously done and the humor is great! Everyone should read this fic especially if you like Kylo and Hux being assholes, force-sensitive Hux kidnapping Kylo to save his own arse, kinda sorta redemption, badass OC’s, Grey Jedi and just general greatness!

[depressedtransguy]

Oohh could you please recommend some kylux fanfics? I love your art btw 💖

Ahh thank you anon!

I’m sure I forgot a million other great fics but these are the ones that sprang to mind immediately. Most of them are NSFW, please read the tags before reading any further :)

Fierce Machines by @momoformisha

I’m usually not a great fan of a/b/o but honestly this author’s writing is so well done. Read if you want hot mess Hux. (also read their other work, Pocket Nova)

Chaotically Proportional by @menaraline

Post TLJ, Kylo uses some questionable methods to get Hux in line (please read the tags before reading this).

Whose Leash, Whose Cur by @callmelyss​

Post TLJ, Kylo keeps Hux REAL close ;) (be sure to check out the author’s other fics as well)

The Price of Believing by tclp

Kylo is hurt and lost his connection to the Force. Angst and fluff ;)

Confined Spaces by @milliethecat​

Kylo and Hux get captured and they develop feeeeeeelieeeessss, also lots of angst and fluff.

Glow up by @jetspumpkinprince

Kylo is a virgin in need of a suit, Hux is a tailor ;) ;).

Point of No Return by @sinningsquire

AU where Snoke doesn’t exist but Kylo still manages to fuck everything up.

Unskilled & Unaware by @reserve

HR shenanigans and the First Order are my kryptonite.(Be sure to check Resereve’s other works as well!)

Blood’s Perimeter by @gefionne

What if Kylo never fell to the dark side and Hux was actually put in the Stormtrooper program?I really love this premise and it’s done really well. Expect lots of angst, badassery and fluff.

[depressedtransguy]

Some kylux for the new year :)

[depressedtransguy]

Hux gets the worst tension headaches all the time, because being a General is stressful business. Kylo massages his shoulders and runs his fingers through Hux's hair, and totally doens't use the Force to relax all of Hux muscles, because "what are you talking about? you said not to use the Force in your quarters. I wouldn't do it. It's just the massage. I give great massages". he's lying. His massages are average at best and both of them know this, but Hux is grateful and doesn't press the issue

Okay this is so cute, also bc despite of his monster hands Kylo giving mediocre massages is somehow hilarious to me

[depressedtransguy]

I’m 90% sure that one stormtrooper is general Hux

[depressedtransguy]

[depressedtransguy]

[depressedtransguy]

rescue from starkiller looked like this

change my mind

[depressedtransguy]

[depressedtransguy]

remember to hug the person you love

[depressedtransguy]

[depressedtransguy]

Kylo: I bet you haven’t done a single good deed today

Hux: That is not true at all. Just this morning I prevented a murder.

Kylo: Oh? How did you manage that?

Hux: Self control.

[depressedtransguy]