desi2go

[desi2go]

New Beginnings

part of The Dawn of Experience series! Chan | Lee Know | Changbin | Hyunjin | Jisung | Felix | Seungmin | Jeongin

pairing: Jeongin x virgin reader

warnings: smut, first time, loss of virginity, sort of angst?

summary: Since your childhood, you had always trust issues. Every contact to another person was a challenge, every friendship was build slowly and you never thought that you would find a boyfriend with this issue. Jeongin was the kind of boyfriend everyone would dream of - but a relationship is always build on trust, especially when you want more than just small kisses happening in between you two.

author's note: thank you @vernorica123 for giving me so much inspiration sweetheart 🫶🏼

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Saying that Jeongin had it always easy with you, was a lie. Every encounter with you was challenging and if he had been like every other men who had shown interest in you before, he would have stopped trying a whole while ago. But not him. Jeongin wasn't like every other men you had met before.

He was kind and polite, always with a sweet smile on his lips and the most important, he was calm around you. Not that this was neccessary for to like him, but you grew up in a household where loudness was forbidden, even walking through the hallway was sometimes scolded with house arrest. That's why loud noises always freaked you out somehow.

Jeongin was calm, like an ocean on a summer day, the water splashing in soft waves against the sand, kissing and caressing it with each wave. This was how you would describe your boyfriend. He always thought about his actions, his presence calming your faster beating heart with a silent hand on your shoulder. He understood you and never even questioned why you had issues with trusting.

No, he was just there and gave you a shoulder to lean on when everything got too much. Falling in love with him wasn't easy for you. It was a hard way with big obstacles forcing you to slow down or even stop for a bit. Jeongin had said one day that from the first time he saw you, he was mesmerized and wanted to know you better than everyone else. He said that despite the fact that your first meeting wasn't something spectacular. it was a completely normal encounter in the library of your college where he had lifted a book for you from the very high shelf after watching you struggle.

You had been shy, hiding behind the book with a thankful bow and ran off to the corner farthest away from him, leaving Jeongin completely stunned in silence. You also learned over time that when he wanted something, he would work for it. And he was indeed fighting for you attention. He even forced Felix to bake brownies with him just to gift them to you in the library where you sat each afternoon in your usual spot.

At first, you had eyed him shocked and very nervous as he smiled so brightly at you that his eyes formed to thin lines. "You look hungry" he said, pushing the small box with brownies to your side and you hesitantly took one. Your friendship developed slow in small steps, each interaction bringing more trust and comfort and after weeks of trusting him, you finally let yourself believe that he might actually would like you somehow.

And Jeongin didn't just like you, no, he loved you. From the moment you two met, he was mesmerized but when he talked to you, he fell deeply in love. It took long until he had you believing that he liked you more than just for a friend. That he wanted to have a close relationship to you. And after long weeks of hard work, you had finally brushed your lips against his for the first time.

Jeongin wasn't showing his love mostly through physical touch rather through quality time and words of affirmation. Still, after being used to him touching you more often, you let him hold your hands and kiss you more often after a few weeks of dating.

You weren't shy and keeping your secrets from him, no, from the first time you two had kissed, you had told him that this was your first relationship which he totally understood and agreed to go slow. You were glad he understood since you had actually estimated him to be angry and frustrated but the comfort that followed was nice and unexpected.

With the title boyfriend and girlfriend came some responsibilities, you knew that. You knew that you would eventually overcome your fear of attaching to another person and grow a lot more comfortable with him. At first, kissing was something you were very shy about but with lots of reassurance and practise from Jeongin, you soon felt relaxed and even initiated them. Never once did Jeongin pressure you into something you didn't want. Not a single time.

He was sure that you would come to him when you were ready for the next step, even if it took some time.

"How's your relationship with Jeongin going? I haven't heard anything since your last visit" your mother scolded during a call. "Well, we've been busy you know? College is a lot of work with all the assignments." you replied in a quiet tone, swinging from left to right in your desk chair.

Your mother huffed and you could literally hear her rolling her eyes. "Of course. Don't act like it's so much work. I survived it too without making such a drama" she scolded again, her statement cutting through you like a knife. You cleared your throat, taking a deep breath.

"I know. And Jeongin is alright. He actually wants to come over in a few hours" you exclaimed, desperately wanting to change the subject. "That's wonderful. Make sure to give him enough attention. He's such a handsome young man. It would be a shame if you would drive him away with your negligence" she responded sharply, not even caring how she is talking to you. She had always been like this. Commanding, manipulative and controlling. That's her. She was never proud of you and always found something how she could turn happy memories into sad ones.

"We're fine, mom. I'm not neglecting him" you corrected with a sigh, slowly a headache started to form, thundering against your forehead painfully. "Geez, don't be so harsh to your mother, young lady. I was just checking because the last time you both visited me and your father, you seemed even uncomfortable kissing him" her high-pitched voice sounded through the speaker of your phone and you rubbed your eyes in annoyance. She always did this, making you question your relationship with Jeongin.

"I'm not uncomfortable at all, mom. We're just taking it slow" you reasoned, already hating the way this conversation turned.

"Don't tell me you didn't have sex yet!" she exclaimed loudly, pure disbelief dripping from her voice. Only she could make this statement sound like insult. "Mom-"

"No, you have been together for a year now!" she yelled through the phone, making you flinch. Her yelling shouldn't scare you as much as it did when you were a child but still, you desperately wanted to flee and hide in your bed between your blankets. Before you could even reply something, her tirade continued with much more agitation. "This man is incredibly patient with you and lovable and the only thing you do is make him wait longer? How long is he going to endure that? Maybe he will grow sick of you soon enough and dump you"

You gulped, eyes casting down to your fingers who trembled in your lap. Maybe she was right? You did let him wait very long but he doesn't seem unpleased. Was it a show? When will he have enough and actually get rid of you?

The call with your mother ended shortly after her statement but her exact words kept replaying in your mind. You were such a bad girlfriend. She was right. You needed to overcome your trust issures way faster to satisfy Jeongin. Who knows how long he is gonna keep up his patience when you didn't give in finally? Your fingers digged into the fabric of your jeans harshly.

Keys jingled and you heard your front door of your apartment open. It must be Jeongin since he was the only one with a spare key. "Babe, I'm home! Didn't you get my text?" his soft voice echoed through the apartment, careful not to scare you since he knew that loud sounds reminded you of your childhood.

When you didn't answer, his steps came closer until he stood right behind you. You were still stuck in your head, trying to get through the inner turmoil that messed with your mind. Gently, he placed his cheek on top of your head so that his nose inhaled your scent deeply.

"Hello Babe" he whispered with a smile, brushing his fingertips over your cheek when you didn't respond again. "Everything fine, Y/n?" he added in concern and you nodded slowly, blinking fast to get back to the reality. In your mind, you had already a plan how you could get your first time over tonight. You needed to. Or else he would get rid of you eventually.

"I'm good" you finally replied with a crooked smile while your boyfriend still judged you with knitted eyebrows but he chose to let it slide since you were often in your thoughts. "How was dance practise?" you changed the topic, taking his hand in yours and pressed a kiss on the back of his hand.

"Great. Seungmin practised his performance of 'Ultra' for the fanmeet. I told you about Changbin's solo, right? And it was so funny. Every member danced too and sang along" he grinned widely, retelling his memory to you.

"I bet it was great. I can't wait to watch you all perform then" you smiled and accepted the kiss he pressed to your lips gently. "Oh I certainly hope so. I think you will love Felix singing Jisung's solo. It's so fucking cute but I won't spoiler too much" he teased, looking exactly like a fox with his wide smirk and his eyes formed into crescents.

"But I'm also excited for your solo" confidently, you pecked his lips again and stood up. "I brought food for our movie night" Jeongin exclaimed happily, already rushing into your kitchen that was connected to your living room. You stayed behind to change out of your jeans into something more comfortable.

You both didn't even change in front of eachother, how should you initiate something you absolutely didn't have a clue about? Of course, you were educated about sex in school but there was nothing that could help you how to create the right atmosphere so that it was at least somewhat romantic and enjoyable for you.

You slipped into loose shorts who left your legs mostly bare and you hoped that would give you some sort of advantage. Furthermore, you even unclasped the bra and chose one of Jeongin's shirts who where big enough to be called a dress on you. From farther away it even looked like you didn't even had shorts on. Perfect, you hoped nervously.

That was the right word. Nervous. And anxious. This was how you really felt, not really looking forward since you didn't feel ready at the moment but you would do anything to make Jeongin happy. You never wanted something more than to have him by your side for the rest of your life.

You couldn't even concentrate on anything. Not on the takeout in your hands and on the table and definitely not on the movie Jeongin had picked. Even though you stared at the TV, you lost the plot ten minutes in and your hunger had vanished entirely. You placed your half eaten plate with food down on the couch table and leaned against Jeongin who was already finished with eating.

How couldn't he? He ate nearly everything in one bite. With a fast beating heart, you placed your head on his chest as he wrapped one arm around you, pecking your scalp with his lips while focusing back on the TV. You knew that this was the moment. You needed to move now. This was your chance. Now or never. You were going to do this for him.

Slowly, you turned your head towards his, looking up between your lashes and confidently tracing your fingers over his chest. At first he didn't seem to notice, too focused on the film playing but as you sat up more to came closer to his face, he all his attention to you, confusion flickering in his eyes.

"Are you alright babe?" he whispered but instead of answering you pushed yourself more into his lap and pressed your lips against his. Kissing was nothing new to you. After one year of dating, you had grown comfortable around it and trusted him that he wouldn't turn against you. It wasn't that you were afraid about physical touch but it costed you trust to let a person close to you like this, especially since your childhood wasn't the happiest.

"I'm fine" you mumbled against his lips, reconnecting your mouths and slowly, Jeongin sprung to life. His hands were around your hips, kneading the flesh and moaning slightly. "Desperate, babe?" he groaned, running his hands up and down your back but not over your ass since you had always flinched away from the touch before. But right now, you wanted him to touch you there. You needed to turn him on.

Without breaking the kiss, you grabbed his hands and guided them lower until they cupped your round ass. At first he was hesitant and you fought with your body to keep your muscles relaxed. When he didn't feel you tense, he let them rest there, brushing his fingers gently over your shorts. You deeply inhaled to calm your racing heart when Jeongin deepened the kiss and his tongue caressed yours affectionately.

Of course, you two had made out in the past. Not as much as normal kissing so you were still giddy when he took a step further with his tongue but it wasn't uncomfortable. For a few minutes, you both stayed connected, playing with your tongues and sucking on the lips. Jeongin's hands slowly gripped the underside of your ass and guided you down so that your back was resting against the couch and he was on top of you.

His legs were between yours and he lifted himself over you with his arms to kiss you again. You hadn't expected this movement and gasped, breaking off the kiss but forced yourself to pick it up back again. Your stomach churned with anxiety and your heart was running a marathon, especially when you felt his half-hard cock pressing against his trousers directly at your clothed pussy. His one hand wandered over your side, slipping underneath your shirt that was actually his and caressed your bare skin.

The closer he came to your breasts, the more your muscles clenched even though you desperately tried not to. Jeongin seemed to feel how you tensed and inhaled air sharply through your teeth. Slowly, he came to a stop, looking down at you with swollen red lips and desire in his eyes that mixed with concern.

"I think this is enough for now" he whispered softly, affection echoing in his voice. You cleared your throat and balled your hand around his shirt in a wrist. You were pathetic. He had noticed how uncomfortable you were and wanted to stop for your sake. You shook your head no, not trusting your voice to respond.

"You wanna continue? Are you sure?" he asked again, confusion and surprise added to his gaze. You nodded again quickly. His hand slipped out from under your shirt and booped your nose. "I need words, babe" he added and you took a deep breath.

"Yes, I-I wanna continue" you rambled and pressed another kiss to Jeongin's lips and let your hands wander under his shirt and over his tones abs. He groaned, eagerly playing with your tongue and caressing your breasts again while his hips started rocking against your middle part.

You clasped your eyes shut as you only replied the kiss barely. Your whole body was tense with discomfort. But you didn't want to stop. Not when Jeongin seemed to like it judging by the tent in his trousers. You desperately wanted to like it, to trust him enough but something inside of you told you that you weren't ready.

You didn't have a problem with showing him your body. In fact, you liked how you looked and Jeongin had reassured you before that he loved your body too. This wasn't the problem. The problem was the lack of trust. Even though you knew that Jeongin wouldn't leave you if the sex wasn't up to his standards but a part of your brain was convinced that he could turn against you whenever he wanted. Just like your sad excuse of parents had all your life long. They were toxic, building up your confidence only to destroy it within the next few minutes.

Growing up in such an household did something with you. You learned to stay cautious around people, to stay alone since you were sure that most of the people would turn against you when they had an opportunity.

Jeongin sighed, breaking you out of your thoughts again, and you watched him sitting up, his hands leaving your body as well as the swelling didn't press against your core anymore. Confused, you knitted your eyebrows, hands swatting at him to pull him down again but he stayed upright, holding your hands gently.

His face was contorted in frustration and pain, making your heart clench. "Y/n, please don't do this" he murmured, brushing through his hair. Despite his frustration, he still had this softness in his voice, making sure that this wasn't going to make you uncomfortable.

No, you weren't worth him, you thought sadly. "I notice how you tense. We don't need to continue" he whispered more affectionate with a small smile. "B-But I want to" you argued without real bite behind it. He shook his head. "No, you don't, Y/n. I feel how tense you are. You don't want that"

Tears sprung into your eyes. Filled with both frustration and agitation that you couldn't even bring pleasure to your boyfriend. You were absolutely pathetic. Biting your lip to stop your tears from rolling down your cheeks but Jeongin had already picked up on your mood.

He cooed at you gently, carefully cupping your cheeks and brushing away the fat, ugly tear streaks. "What got you so adamant in having sex?" You wanted to turn your gaze away but his hands held you in position. "I-I didn't want you to wait any longer" you whispered in shame, your cheeks heating with embarassment. "You know that I don't mind waiting. Not when it means that you are comfortable with taking the next step." he replied softly.

"I-I know that... But... At some point you are gonna loose interest in me. I just know it and then I'm gonna be alone again" you sobbed. "Whoa, whoa. Babe, I'm never going to loose interest. Where is this suddenly coming from?" He still asked even though he already guessed who it was. There weren't many people who could make you rethink everything again and minimize the trust you had in him.

When you didn't answer, he added. "Your mother?" You nibbled at your bottom lip and nodded slowly. Jeongin sighed in annoyance. Some day, he would carve out this toxic lady's tongue just to stop her from destroying your trust.

"Listen babe. Please, trust me. I now this is very difficult for you but I won't ever leave you. Unless you want me to" he chuckled gently. "Seriously, don't believe your mother. She is toxic and doesn't want your happiness" he added.

You sighed with a nod. "I know she's toxic but she's still my mother. I hoped she would change but I don't think she ever will."

"Yeah, believe me. I would love to have sex with you. But then, I want you to trust me fully."

ఌఌఌ

Since that night, something has changed. Maybe it was the way you viewed your boyfriend or the calm you felt since your talk. It was like the reassurance that he would stay by your side even if you weren't ready, made you more confident. You knew that trust wouldn't come from a single talk but somehow, you believed him more. Strangely, your trust skyrocketed from this moment on.

Slowly, you felt your issues with trust minimize. Sometimes, it was still difficult but when was recover from such a childhood trauma easy?

Weeks flew by since your open talk and with more trust, you felt more confident in kissing and making out. You felt ready and you even caught yourself a few times where you wanted more than just innocent kisses. You felt the strange sensation of your core clenching and slick gathering.

"I'm ready to have sex with you" you told him one evening where he was over for another movie night. Surprised by the sudden statement, Jeongin coughed as some chips he was snacking got caught in his air pipe. Concerned, you patted his back as he leaned forward to drink something. "Sorry, I didn't mean to jump you like that. It's okay if you don't want. It was a-" before you could even start your nervous rambling, he had stopped coughing.

"No, it's okay. I was just surprised because I didn't expect it right then." He calmed you down with a smile. "And it's not a bad idea if you wanted to say that. I would love to if you feel ready"

You nodded eagey, pecking his lips affectionately with a hint of newfound desire. "Yes, I wanna" he chuckled at your excitement. "We don't need to rush, babe. We can take it slow"

"No, I had enough time to warm up to it and after our talk, I feel like I trust you fully. At least more than I ever have which is also resulting out of my lack of contact with my mother" you argued with a pout. Actually feeling proud to finally leave the trust issues, your mother gave you, behind. You knew that there would be times when they would build up again but you trusted Jeongin to get you out of these loopholes when the time comes.

"I wanna do it now, Innie" you whispered against his lips and he nodded, mumbling a quick okay and let you climb into his lap slowly. You opened your mouth slightly after a few minutes to invite his tongue inside your mouth but his stayed close and he broke the kiss instead of deepening it. You whined at the sudden loss of contact which made Jeongin chuckle softly.

His hands brushed through your hair and he booped your nose. "Do you trust me?" He whispered, voice thick with longing. You nodded without thinking twice. "Remember, babe, words, please"

"Yes, I trust you, Innie" you answered then, gasping as his hands slipped underneath your ass and he lifted your whole body up. You shrieked and hooked your legs around his waist in order to not fall down. "What are you doing?" you squealed with a laugh and Jeongin pecked your lips with a smirk. "I'm not going to have your first time on a couch, babe. You should be comfortable" he hummed, walked the few steps to your bedroom and gently placing you on the bed.

Through your eyelashes, you observed him as he stood there, beautiful and lovely. "Are you sure you wanna do that right now? It's no shame to back out of it now. I understand it" he asked again and you rolled your eyes. "Innie, I had enough time to rethink it and I wanna have sex with you. I trust you, fully" you reassured, swatting your hands at him to pull him on the bed while pouting over the distance between you.

He chuckled and lifted his shirt over his head, jumping onto the soft mattress. With a blush, you observed his muscular upper body and felt the heat pooling together in your core.

His lips reconnected with yours as your tongues danced around eachother. Affectionately, he let his fingers roam over your body and slip underneath your shirt, well one of his again that he had given you. His eyes was locked on yours while he kneaded your breasts gently, searching for any signs of discomfort. But there wasn't any. Not at all. For the first time in your life you felt overly comfortable with this and were desperate to continue.

Soon, you got rid of your own shirt so that you were nearly fully bared to Jeongin. A rosy blush appeared on his cheeks, even colouring his ears in a pretty red, and hunger sparkled in his eyes. "I love you" he grumbled and closed the distance between you. Your whole body felt warm and you gasped as Jeongin's cock rocked over your core. You pulled away from the kiss to moan, hiding your face in his shoulder in embaressment.

Jeongin chuckled softly, lifting your head from your hideout and pressed kisses along your jaw and down your neck. "Cute" he mused, his eyes soft and filled with love. "Jeongin, please" you murmured, pushing your hips up against his to feel him press against your core.

A pressure has build up there and you were desperate to relieve it. "Please what?" he teased gently, wiggling his eyebrows and you huffed in played annoyance. "please fuck me" Your boyfriend laughed wholeheartedly, cupping your cheek with one hand and holding his body up with the other. "Growing desperate, aren't you babe?" he teased. "Jeongin" you whined, pulling at the fabric of his loose trousers and pushing it from his body.

A laugh shook through his body, making yours tingly. "Okay, okay. I'll stop teasing you" his expressions grew more serious as he let his hand wander down from cupping your cheeks to your shorts. "Are you okay with loosing these?" You nodded eagerly, helping your boyfriend undressing you. His fingers danced around your entrance, catching the slick that had build up there from all the making out.

He groaned as he rubbed gentle circles over your clit, making your breath hitch. His own cock ached at the sight of your pussy and he felt precum wettening his boxers. But that didn't matter to him right then. All he wanted was to get you comfortable and relaxed at first so that your first time wouldn't be painful.

Jeongin moved down, trailing kisses over your stomach which made you giggle at the sensation. Then, he pressed a peck to your inner thigh before sliding his tongue along your slit and swirling around your bud when your hips shot up in desire. You moaned high pitched, not having expected such a move but that didn'tt mean it wasn't great.

Your little moans and whimpers are music to his ears and he played with your entrace to draw more of these sounds out of you. Sensitive as you were as a virgin, your legs started to tremble and the knot in your belly started to get tighter and tighter. Jeongin removed his tongue from your entrance and pressed another kiss to your thigh as the first finger slipped inside of you.

Your fingers found hold in your boyfriend's hair, pulling at it with each thrust of his finger. Soon, he added another one, only picking up on moving them when he felt your tense pussy relax around him. It wasn't exactly painful but uncomfortable nonetheless. Carefully, he thrusted his fingers further in and gently pulled them back, quickening his pace as you got wetter.

When your pussy was fully relaxed around his fingers, he pulled them out fully and looked up at you. "You really wanna continue?" he asked again and you nodded without thinking about it.

"I'll grab a condom.” He mumbled out after kissing you on the lips. You watched as he crossed the room to his bag, unzipping it and grabbing a foil packet, opening and rolling it down his length after he got rid of his boxers.

Your heart began to thunder in your chest, suddenly nervous as he watched you with a soft gaze. You knew you were ready, this time you actually wanted to loose your virginity to him but a little flame of doubt ignited inside of you. Could you trust him? He wouldn't turn against you, would he?

“You still want to do this?” He asked, joining you again on the bed, large body caging you in like a safety net. You didn’t feel trapped though, almost like you were protected, from what you didn’t exactly know. You could only nod at him with a deep breath, feeling shy leaning forward into a kiss again before he laid you back, spreading your legs slowly and slotting his hips against your own.

A moan slipped out as his cock brushed against your pussy and you felt him move, rubbing his cock to gather slick. With one last deep look to see if you were still sure, he turned his gaze down to press the top of his dick to your entrance. Slowly, ever so slightly he eased in and you both groaned at the sensation. It felt so different from anything you had ever experienced before. Sure, there was the sting from his cock stretching you out fully but it wasn't nearly as hurtful as you had thought. It was different in the best way.

The pressure in your core doubled and pleasure consumed you. Jeongin was holding himself above you, breathing heavily to stop himself from starting to thrust. You felt great around his cock, so wet and tight. He never wanted to experience anything else ever again. With hooded eyes, he looked down where you two were connected and groaned full of pleasure at the sight.

"Are you- Can I..." he started, voice deep and thick with desire. "Please, move Innie" you responded immediately, gasping as you felt him move slowly. His cock was dragged against your walls, in and out in a very careful and slow pace to not overwhelm you. His pace began to pick up gradually and you felt like you were floating as you moaned against his lips. The unfamiliar sensation building inside of you.

His trusts became quicker and swept a moan out of you. Lust exploded through you as his cock dragged against your plushy walls with every pump. Rhythmically, his hips met yours and your bodies were glazed with a thin layer of sweat at the quick pace. You watched as his chest rose and fell, groaning at the feeling of being inside of you. Jeongin's pretty voice erupted from his throat with a breathy moan.

This exact image was something you would never forget again, it was burnt into your brain. It was truly a dream of a view. You melted at his touch, his one hand gripping your waist firmly, yet without hurting you or leaving scars.

You had long before broken off the kiss, you both too consumed in pleasure and catching your breath to continue kissing. Both of your climaxes were edging nearer and nearer. Every single thrust was hitting something in you, the right spot that made you see stars. The veins around his cock brushed against every inch of your pussy like his own little canvas as you sucked him deeper with every clench.

Your body was overcome with warmth, legs trembling and hips bucking as your euphoria crawled closer. The knot in your stomach dissolved into a hot, searing pleasure and you moaned loudly, Jeongin's name rolling off your lips. Gradually, his thrusts got weaker and sloppier, his own climax approaching fast. Bliss occupied your senses and you twitched at how sensitive you felt with your boyfriend's cock still brushing against your walls in his chase of his own release.

With one sudden thrust, he whimpered into your ear and his cum spilled into the condom. He threw his head back and deeply moaned, a symphony in your ears while you layed still for a moment, catching your breath again. Just slowly, with your head still swimming in pleasure and comfort, you processed what just happened. It had finally happened. You both finally took things to another level and you weren't a virgin anymore.

Carefully, Jeongin pulled out of you, caressing your side in cocnern as you winced because of your sensitivity. Yup, you were sure you wouldn't be able to walk properly tomorrow. A smile spread over your lips and your boyfriend did the same, interwining your fingers together.

"You did absolutely amazing" he whispered with a faint grin, pecking your red swollen lips gently. You snorted, remembering that you actually didn't do anything except laying here and enjoying. But you felt pride nonetheless. You had trusted him enough to take things further. And you noticed that all your anxieties didn't have a reason because Jeongin would never betray you. This was simply your mother playing with your head. And this would come to an end, you decided. You had endured her critique long enough now.

"I love you so much" your boyfriend murmured against your lips and quickly got you a wet towel to wipe you down. His condom was already in the trash and he carefully slipped a t-shirt over your bare form before bringing you into his arms.

"I love you too" you replied happily with a sleepy smile. "Stay here, okay? I'm going to run you a bath. It'll help with the soreness" he explained, slipping out of your embrace again and ran into the bathroom. You smiled to yourself, proud that despite your trust issues you found someone so amazing that would do literally anything. With him by your side, you would eventually have trust in other people again. You were sure about it.

[desi2go]

What if it changed everything? (4)

pt. 1 | pt. 2 | pt. 3 | pt. 4

pairing: idol!Seungmin x reader

warnings: angst, pregnancy, fluff, comfort, childbirth

summary: After a one night of pleasure with a member of the famous kpop group Stray Kids, you find out that you are pregnant. What will you do?

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The little contact you and Seungmin had only minimized from there. No more late night phone calls or chats. You were just barely negotiating the doctors appointments. And with nearly 30 weeks pregnant, the birth came closer and closer, hanging over you like a stormy cloud.

After the shame you experienced you chose to keep some distance between you and Seungmin, physically and emotionally. But feelings couldn't be turned off from one moment to the other, right?

And you didn't want to hold a grudge when birthing your son. But you couldn't just go to him like nothing happened. You just couldn't. All the shame and sadness you felt forbid it.

You didn't know what caused the sudden coldness that Seungmin faced you with. Maybe it was his way of telling you that you didn't have a chance with him. Maybe he told you through his actions that you weren't worth his time and he would rather spent it with another girl.

The image of the thin blonde glued to his arm like a lifeline was burned into your mind. Funny, you almost felt like he had cheated on you. Which he hadn't because you never were together in the first place. You never had a claim on him. Heck, you didn't even spoke about the topic 'One-night-stands' since he knocked you up. Never, you had agreed to stop seeing other persons.

So, you were the only one to blame. This mess, this huge fucking mess was only your fault. And now your damn heart was involved and wouldn't face the truth. The truth that you would never be in a relationship with him. That you would never get the love back you gave him. And you couldn't do anything about it.

Sanha had spent the last five days with you, taking Seungmin's place at the appointments while he was away to another photoshoot abroad. On one side you were glad he couldn't come. That gave you more time to recover your broken heart and the ability to face him again. You didn't know what you would do if you had to sit in a room together, waiting for the doctor. No, thank you. You didn't want that uncomfortable silence.

Instead, Sanha tried to cheer you up with jokes and horric stories from the time you had started college and her highschool years.

"To remind you what you will be missing" she had teased, showing you her tongue.

"Oh, I think the headache after a night of drinking won't be something I'll miss." you had replied with a giggle while a part of your brain was still thinking about Seungmin. Maybe he was already sleeping with another idol or model in Japan. Who knows?

You absolutely didn't care.

Well, maybe you did.

Who could blame you?

You thought about the conversation with your cousin. He had encouraged you to show your feelings openly to Seungmin, to ask him out on an actual date. Well, this was before you had seen him with another girl on his arm.

"What's wrong, Y/n?" Sanha confronted you as you stepped into your apartment after the doctor's appointment, feeling the exhustion of the day lay heavy on your shoulders. "That was already the tenth time you sighed in the matter of an hour" she poked your side, leaving you squirming.

"Hey! Stop that! I'm fat now and can't avoid your fingers!" you squealed.

"Don't care. That's not my problem, rather my advantage" she smirked, her humoured face growing serious as she flopped down onto the couch with you. Well, you at least tried to do it gracefully but with that huge bump of yours it was rather impossible.

"So, tell me Moma. What's up in your head"

"Just the usual, you know. I still can't believe how my relationship with Seungmin developed." you caressed your belly. A gesture that had slowly grew into a soothing habit.

"Forget that asshole" she rolled her eyes, picking up her phone to swipe through it. "you need to get laid"

You snorted. "Of course. But have you seen the obvious baby belly? I bet everyone wants to sleep with a whale. But hey, at least I can't get pregnant anymore" you shook your head and Sanha giggled.

"Come on. You are a pretty whale" she joked, showing you an instagram acc from a man your age. "This is someone in one of my classes. He is cute and so friendly. Plus, I know from a trustworthy source that he has a crush on you"

Suspiciously, you lifted an eyebrow. She had tried to set you up once before with a guy in her major. Let's just say that he was weird and it was better that it was just one short date.

"Come on! Trust me with this one! I swear" she argued, pouting and making puppy eyes. You knew she wouldn't take a no for an answer and if you wanted to sleep tonight, you would be forced to say yes.

"Are you happy when I say yes?"

"More than happy" she replied, nodding eagerly and already texting the guy. "And then I can send Seungmin a photo from what he is actually missing!" Her laugh was the pure evil and if you didn't know her so well, you would think that a demon possessed her. But no, this was just her personality when it came to you and your feelings.

"Be careful, Sannie, your devil is showing" you pointed to her head where her imaginary horns grew. She quickly covered them, giggling. "Shit, you're right"

❤☯❤

Minho: Y/n? Are you alive?

Minho: Y/n. You can't play dead right now.

Minho: I'm going to annoy you until you are reviving yourself.

Minho: Y/n, I mean it.

Minho: I will not hesitate to send Jisung for you.

Minho: you know how annoying he can be, and ambitious.

Minho: I'm serious, he will come for you. In...

Minho: ...three...

Minho: ...two...

Y/n: Jesus, Minho. What's wrong with you?

Minho: still alive I see. I guess I don't need to send Jisung after you

Y/n: No? Why should you?

Minho: Because we never see you around anymore. Some may think you are dead

Y/n: No, I'm not dead, Min. Just busy

Minho: Uhh, I smell an argument in the air

Y/n: Maybe you should let your nose be checked by a doctor. You shouldn't be smelling such weird stuff.

Minho: So I am right, huh?

Minho: What did that Pabo say to you? Should I air fry him? Or feed him to my cats?

Y/n: Well, it wasn't an argument. We didn't fight, okay? I just misunderstood some of his actions. It's okay, really. No need to bury a body.

Minho: too bad. I already planned out the place where l would bury him.

Y/n: Sometimes I wonder if you're just the male version of Sanha, you know?

Minho: Well, I can't deny some similarities. But my humour is way better

Y/n: Don't let her hear that or your body is the one being buried next.

Minho: hm, i'll take that risk.

Y/n: your choice. But I gotta go now. Need to get ready

Minho: get ready? For what?

Y/n: none of your business?

Minho: how rude. I mean it. Or I'll let Jisung out

Y/n: Why are you threatening me with the quokka? He is cute and cuddly. What is he going to do? Cuddle me to death?

Minho: Maybe. Plus, he is going to annoy you so long until he was the answer I want. And he's going to eat all of your food.

Minho: So, spill. Or I don't have any other choice

Y/n: okay, okay. I'm going on a date

Minho: with Seungmin?

Y/n: no? Why should I?

Minho: why shouldn't you?

Y/n: I think he made his point very clear

Minho: yep, I definitely should air fry him

Y/n: What does that have to do with an air fryer? Nevermind, I need to get going

❤☯❤

As you didn't respond, Minho put his phone away and quickly walked out of his own room. He and every other member just had finished practise and were in the dorms. Everyone chose to spend the early evening at the dorms. Everyone except Seungmin who had quickly ran off to his own apartment, his face hard like stone.

Even before he had asked you, he was sure that something must have happened between you two. Something bad that made you distance yourself from him and the other members. Minho just didn't knew what.

Well, now he was 100% sure that the younger male had done something stupid. Very stupid. That pabo.

Minho sighed, rolling his eyes in annoyance and slipped his shoes and jacket on. "Where are you going to?" Jeongin asked, his head poking around the corner with a snack in his mouth. "Just giving Seungmin a piece of my mind. Oh, I'm going to kick his ass for making me walk out there in this shit weather" Minho grabbed his face mask and base cap along with an umbrella.

"What did he do now?" Chan's head appeared next to Jeongin's, his face showing concern for their other member. Minho sighed, shrugging his shoulders.

"Y/n wouldn't tell me specifically. She just explained that Seungmin clearly isn't interested in her"

"Well, that's bullshit. We all know how smitten he is" Felix commented who leaned against the wall. "Yes, he even wanted to ask her out on a date a few weeks ago. But didn't because he told me that she was already dating somebody" Changbin added, shrugging his shoulders and throwing an arm over Hyunjin who had appeared next to him.

Minho rolled his eyes in annoyance. "That pabo." He massages his nose bridge. "And now he is sulking and driving her further away just because he is assuming?" another sassy eyeroll.

"Jup, I tried to tell him that he should at least try, especially since she never brought another man up" Changbin nodded, retelling his conversation with Seungmin he had a while ago.

"Okay, I'm going to kick his ass straight to Y/n" the older one agreed and finally slipped out of the dorms and outside into the stormy weather that was already going on for a few days. The hot summer was nowhere in sight.

Even though he wore his face mask and base cap, he still kept his head down so that no fan would recognise him. Right now, he wasn't in the mood for photos. Fortunately, Seungmin's apartment wasn't so far from their dorms and just ten minutes later, he was standing in front of the door, ringing the bell a few times. He didn't even wait for the door to open and instead choosing to push the bell some more just to annoy the younger.

"What the fuck, Lee Minho?!" Seungmin growled and Minho's face lit up to having his goal reached. "Good evening to you too, Seungmin" the older mused, watching the other roll his eyes.

"Why are you here? I thought we have the evening off?" finally, Seungmin let Minho into his apartment who took his base cap and face mask off before answering.

"Yes, we have. I'm here for something else." he crossed his arms in front of his chest and leaned against the wall while Seungmin sat back down on the couch, the TV played one of his favourite shows he was rewatching. "Have you spoken to Y/N?"

Seungmin shrugged his shoulders and turned his gaze down. "No, why?" "Because you got her pregnant?" the older replied, sighing. "And maybe because you have feelings for her, pabo?"

"That doesn't matter anymore" he murmured, eyes wandering back and forh but never to his hyung. "Why? Why doesn't it matter anymore? Did she tell you that she wasn't interested?"

"Well, not exactly but-"

"But what, Seungmin? Did you assume that her meeting up with another male was a date? But you didn't ask her, right?" Minho was slowly growing tired of the dumbness of his friend. He wanted to help him, he really did but he was making it very difficult right now.

"No, it was obvious that they were close" Seungmin defended. "Just because they are close, it doesn't mean that they are dating. He could have been family for god's sake" the dancer growled, his voice growing thicker and louder.

Minho stepped closer to his friend, crouching down in front of him. "Do you know what she is doing today?" he asked, his voice not thundering through the room anymore, instead he chose to speak calm with him. When the younger didn't respond, he continued. "She's on a date. And not because she was dating all along, no, because you drove her away."

Seungmin's eyes shot up to look into his member's, to search for a clue that he might be lying. But no, he wasn't lying it was the brutal truth.

"B-But she-" he started stuttering. "No, Seungmin. You are an idiot. So I'm telling you right now." he gripped the vocalist's shoulders tightly. "You. Have. A. Chance." he emphasized every single word, hoping to bring his point across.

"Really?" Seungmin's voice had grown thin, shaky even as he realised his mistake. Guilt washed over him and shame, terrible shame that he could have avoided if he had just asked. Minho nodded. "Yes. You had it since the beginning. Now, go to her and talk. I won't say she will forgive you easily but you have the chance."

Seungmin scrambled up, nearly knocking over the TV as he searched for a fresh hoodie. "Fuck" he yelped as he ran against the door frame, knocking his foot on the hard wood, causing his toe to hurt. Minho sat down on the couch, enjoying the scene of Seungmin jumping on one foot while holding the other and cursing in front of him a little bit. That's for making me walk up here in rain, he thought with a small smirk that he quickly hid.

Before Seungmin could storm out of his apartment, he stilled in the doorway and turned back to Minho. "Min, What if she doesn't want me?"

"Well, I guess then you have to win her back for real" the older nudged him out and Seungmin nodded. In his hurry, he had forgotten any sort of protection from the rain that immeadiately soaked his clothes. He cursed as the cold water hit his skin, holding his hands above his head to shield at least his face. The coldness only made him run faster. Of course he could have taken his car but he forgot to grab the keys. At least he had still some money in his trouser pockets but not much for a taxi either.

❤☯❤

"I didn't know you were so good at sports!" you giggled at the brown haired man sitting right in front of you. Your date was on its peak, Wonho, the blind date Sanha had organised you, was extremely charming and friendly. It was obvious that he was nervous but who wouldn't be? He was cute how he brushed his hand through his fluffy hair every few minutes to soothe his beating heart and the way he played with the fork almost unnoticable.

"Well, I try. I'm good at swimming but I suck at everything on land. Honestly, sometimes I feel like a fish out of water." he added, a laugh permanent on his face. Despite your concerns prior, you had really much fun. He had a great humour and filled the silence with words.

"I know what you mean. That's why I don't even try sports"

The restaurant he had chosen was great with so much meals they offered that you were completely overwhelmed. Plus, this wasn't just a normal restaurant, no, it was michelin restaurant with many stars and absolutely not within your price range. That became painfully obvious when you had entered and the waiter took your jacket and brought you to your table. Not just once you had tried to tell Wonho that you couldn't afford it here but he just patted your hand, that he had taken carefully to help you out of his car and hadn't let go since then, and claimed to pay for the food.

Of course you wouldn't let him do that but he was persistent. Over the course of the meal, you both had told each other things about yourself. What surprised you was that he wasn't even staring so much on your obvious baby bump. Of course, you had told him that you were pregnant and weren't together with the father but despite that, he wasn't asking much more. It was strange. And you somehow liked it. It was like he hadn't just minimized your presence to your pregnancy, no, he was actually interested in you.

And he didn't seem to care that soon, there would be a baby that would demand much attention. "I'm sorry to be so forward but I'm just curious. You don't seem to mind that I'm pregnant. Why? I mean, it wouldn't just be me you will be meeting at some time" you asked him, comfortably leaning your head on your hand. He chuckled, quickly chewing the stew down before answering.

"You're right. At some point, there will be a baby constantly at your side. But honestly? I love kids, especially babies. They are so cute and I wouldn't mind to help you" he smiled, giving you a giddy feeling.

"That's great, thanks" you mumbled, flushed. Despite how well you two clicked, your mind always thought back to Seungmin. To that black haired asshole who wasn't worth thinking about.

And yet, here you were. Comparing them both to each other. Not just once you noted that Seungmin loved to hear you talk, with Wonho, it was mostly him bubbling nonesense to get you to laugh. It was like it was his mission to make you laugh, even though you didn't mind some seriousness. Then, he wasn't as attentive.

You knew it wasn't fair to compare them both. They were completely different people but in secret, you somehow searched Seungmin in Wonho. And that wasn't possible.

Not just once, you whished that it was Seungmin facing you, laughing at your jokes and telling you about the new song he and Chan were working on. Seungmin was much more observing, noticing every little action you did. He would give you a tissue whenever you needed one, ordering your another ice tea without you telling him to.

No, this wasn't Seungmin. And you felt so bad for even trying to forget the black haired through Wonho. That wasn't fair at all. He was a great man with a big heart but you knew deep inside you that there weren't any feelings. No butterflies doing loopings in your stomach. Just a platonic sympathy. And he definitely didn't deserve to be told anything else. You couldn't lie to him, using him as an object to get other your broken heart.

Despite having such a good copamy, you felt more sad at the end of the date. It was already pretty late, nearly midnight since you had so long conversations, and the still continueing downpour of rain was adding to your resignated mood. Your feet were swollen, half from the long sitting and not moving around and half from your pregnancy that made your limbs swell, even your fingers.

Now, you just wanted to get into bed with the big ice cream box Sanha had left in your freezer for sudden heart ache and watch another episode of your series before drifting off to sleep. That was your master plan to avoid thinking about Seungmin so much.

To add up to all your discomfort, little beanie didn't seem to understand that it was already bedtime for him and should already be sleeping in your belly and not kick against your ribs. Damn, he was already strong, you thought after a particular hard kick.

Wonho parked right outside of your apartment building, jumping out of the driver seat while opening an umbrella to protect you from getting wet. He then helped you out which was an exercise itself because the bump in front of you was pressing you deeper into the seat.

"Thank you" you murmured as he clasped your hand tightly in his warm one and helped you up. "Careful Mama" he teased, steadying you with an arm around your waist. It felt wrong to have someone else touching you there despite Seungmin, you thought.

Just in front of the front door to your apartment buidling, you both stopped, his arm still on your waist, his warmth pouring even through your clothes. "Thank you for the great evening" he voiced, a smile on his lips and his eyes sparkled with adoration. You nodded, wetting your lips and looking away.

"Yes, it really nice" you agreed, feeling guilt wash over you. You felt like such a bad person. You needed to tell him there wouldn't be more, nothing more than friendship you could offer. But you didn't want to crush his hopes and hurt his feeling. He was such a great man that didn't deserve a rejection.

"Is everything okay, Y/n?" he asked you, laying his head to the side in concern and cupping your cheek which you hadn't expected and flinched slightly. "Sorry, didn't see that coming" you gave him a crooked smile. "And yes, everything is fine."

You took a deep breath before lifting your gaze to look him in the eye. He stared at you in full anticipation. "Wonho, really, thank you for the great evening. I really enjoyed it and had a great time but..." you couldn't bring yourself to end the sentence, too afraid to hurt his feelings and bring a heart ache to another person.

"...but you absolutely aren't interested in me" he completed the sentence. Now it was his turn in giving you a crooked smile. Well, you hadn't expected him to notice and frowned. "How?"

He sighed but giggled at the same time, booping your nose. "You're wearing your heart on your sleeve Y/n. I could tell with how you reacted that I'm not the one for you. You sometimes looked like your mind was elsewhere. And that's okay."

You stilled, bititng your lip because you felt like such an egoistic asshole. And he was okay with that? Really?

"Y-you aren't mad?" You asked hesitantly to which laughed again, shaking his head at how cute you were. "Oh I'm absolutely fine. I'm not mad at all." He winked at you playfully as you looked at him sceptical.

"Really, I liked talking to you and I hope that the person your heart belongs to is finally seeing what a great person you are."

"Did somebody ever say to you that your a great listener and friend? Thank you" you murmured with a smile. "I've been told" he grinned teasingly.

"And now go up there and sleep. It's way too late for you, Mama" he added mischievously and nudged your arm. You giggled and brushed him off playfully. "Yeah, yeah. I'm already on my way" you rolled your eyes. You hugged him as a goodbye before slowly carrying your tired body up the stairs.

Stairs were another enemy of you. That bump didn't do anything for your agility. You wondered how it would be in a few weeks when the little bean was even heavier. Sleeping in the hall was tempting instead of doing this hell of a workout. You sighed when you finally reached your floor, searching your keys in your bag without looking up.

You hummed in delight when you found it at the bottom of your small, black bag. You hadn't even noticed the person dressed in black clothes sitting against your door. But as he stood up in a quick movement, your head shut up as you picked up the movement from the corner of your eyes.

You screamed terrified, swinging your bag at full force to protect you from the unknown man. The bag hit his head not once but twice, leaving him clutching his head with his one hand while groaning in pain.

"Jesus Christ, Y/n. What do you have in that bag? Rocks" the person moaned, looking up at you. You covered your mouth in shock as you noticed who it was. You squealed in guilt, coming closer. "Ahh, what the fuck are you doing here, Seungmin?!" you yelled, before clasping your hand in front of your mouth as you remembered that this was your apartment building and you shouldn't be screaming right now.

"Oh my god, I hit you" you whispered, touching his head in concern. "Yes, and may I say that nobody will rob you with these kind of moves?" he scratched the spot you had hit. "I'm so sorry. I didn't know it was you. You scared the shit out of me" you scolded him lightly, crossing your arms in front of your chest.

"It wasn't my best idea to wait here all dressed in black, I guess" he laughed awkwardly, cursing himself for spooking you so much. His face became serious. "How was your date?" his voice was tight and clipped, looking away. You sighed, brushing your hand over your hair. "It was okay. Wonho is a great person" You saw him flinch slightly at your words, his eyebrows knitted.

Awkwardly, he cleared his throat. "That's - uh - that's great, I guess" he stuttered, looking less confident with how his shoulders sagged.

"But he wasn't the right one. I didn't feel anything beside the platonic sympathy" you added, watching how his head shot up immediately in hope.

"What are you doing here, Seungmin? The next appointment isn't until next week" you mentioned curiously. Seungmin sighed, pain shooting into his heart beause you thought that he was only here for the baby and not for you. Which wasn't true. He had made you believe that. And he was such an idiot for that.

"I wanted to see you" he murmured, his voice thin and emotional. He knew if he wanted to have you back, he would need to be honest even though it was difficult. His gaze was turned away shyly as he exposed himself to you.

You frowned, knitting your eyebrows in confusion. Yes, you were confused. Confused because he was here, standing in front of you. Confused why he was talking to you at all when this was the closest thing to a normal conversation in weeks. "Y-You wanted to see me?" you stuttered, suddenly very uncertain about the situation and how you should react to such an statement.

"Yes, I needed to see you" he confirmed with a nod, a shy blush forming on his cheeks. He then seemed to remember something and pulled out his second hand from behind his back. "I also got you that" he murmured shyly while scratching his neck. In his hand was a small bouquet with different kinds of flowers. Roses, Lilies and so much more.

Carefully, he reached out to you, laying the flowers into your hands which you clasped tightly like a lifeline. They were stunning and you would lie if you said that it wasn't doing anything with your heart. In fact, it was doing loopings and beating faster, threatening to jump out of your chest. But it all confused you even more. Why was he here all of the sudden, saying he needed to see you and giving you flowers when just days ago he wouldn't really reply to any of your texts, let alone talk to you?

You knitted your eyebrows and laid your head to the side. "Why are you here, Seungmin?" you asked carefully, voice wavering slightly, afraid of what he might answers.

"Because I need you, Y/n. And not just as a mother to my child. I need you because I you make my day better. You make every conversation, every little thing into an adventure that has me wandering what will follow. I need you because I can't bear to spend a day without your beautiful smile, your laugh that lights every room you enter"

Your breathing stocked as you processed his words, your fingers curled around the stems of the flowers, trying to ground you. Trying to keep yourself from imagining things. As tears of overwhelm built up in your eyes, you shook your head.

"Why, Seungmin. Why are you saying that?"

"Because it's true. It's true that I can't live without you anymore without spending every second away from you, asking myself what you are doing. I never thought that I would find my person as an idol. But I did. And it's you, Y/n. You are my person" his words were clear and strong, not wavering or showing any signs of uncertainty. No, he was meaning it. Every word was meant like he said.

Despite your efforts to keep the tears in, a stray tear escaped, rolling down your cheek as your heart clenched tightly. Your breathing was shallow and your fingers trembled. "Then why? Why Seungmin? Why did you meet up with that blonde girl? When what your saying is true, why did you choose to have sex with her?" you confronted him, more tears rolling down your face as your voice overlapped, breaking in the middle.

This was torture, pure torture. Seeing him walk down the street with that girl glued to his side was your personal hell. And just the mere though about it, what they were about to do, made your heart shatter into a million pieces again.

Hesitantly he came closer, his face twisted in pain as he thought back to that day. He regretted his decision. He regretted that you had seen him him with another girl and he definitely regretted watching your face fall into sadness. Gently, he cupped your cheeks, wiping your tears away with his thumb.

"A few weeks ago, I wanted to ask you out. On a real date. But I watched you in a café with another man. I thought that you were already dating someone and got angry. I was trying to forget you, to get you out of my head but nothing worked." he answered, voice gentle and soothing.

You knitted your eyebrows, thinking who he could mean. "That was my cousin you idiot!" you snorted, shaking your head in disbelief.

"I could beat myself for assuming so quickly - without asking you first" he answered truthfully, before clearing his throat. "When I was with that girl, I tried to forget you. And when you saw us? My own heart shattered into pieces watching your face fall. I promise, nothing happened. I couldn't do it. Because whenever I closed my eyes, I saw you."

You quietly gasped for air. "Y/n, I'm so sorry for being so distant. I never wanted to hurt you. Never. I was an idiot for believing that a distraction could help me forget my feelings because it didn't." a small smile formed on his lips and his fingers caressed the tender skin of your cheek. As the loose fabric of his hoddie's sleeve brushed over your face, you gasped again, shocked how wet it was. That explained why his hands were so cold too.

"Seungmin, your hoodie is wet! You will get sick" you muttered but the black haired only shook his head.

"It doesn't matter. I needed to tell you what I feel, Y/n. It doesn't matter that I have been waiting for hours. Because I couldn't hide it anymore and bring even more pain to you. Because the truth is, that I love you." he made a little pause to look you deep into the eyes. "I love you, Y/n. You and our little bean. I love you both so much it hurt to be away from you",he whispered and his face came closer, his lips almost touching yours. You didn't even try to stop the tears from rolling down your cheeks as your fingers clutched the fabric of his black hoodie. "Seungmin, I love you too" you murmured against his lips and finally overcame the small distance. His lips were soft like a pillow and you felt his breath getting caught in his throat as he pulled you impossibly closer.

Kissing Seungmin was like breathing air after diving too long in the sea. Like a missing piece of a puzzle finally slipping into the right spot. It felt magic. Butterflies erupted in your stomach as you wrapped your arms around his neck, your fingers in his damp hair.

When you ended your kiss, he leaned his forehead against yours, smiling brightly while tracing patterns with his index finger on your cheek. You returned the smile, leaning against him comfortably. Now, your heart finally didn't feel stabbed anymore. Like it was healing, slowly and piece by piece. It already did loopings in your chest, beating faster at what just happened.

Seungmin pecked your lips once more before bending down to search for your apartment keys you had let go of. Triumphantly he smiled, trying to distract you from the blush on his cheeks that most likely matched your own.

"Let's get you inside". he murmured, grabbing your hand slowly and interwined his fingers with yours. You nodded, following him like a lovesick puppy (that you were). He let you in first before locking the door behind him and you sighed comfortably as the warmth enveloped you. You saw how Seungmin shuddered slightly. You took his hand again, noticing how cold he really was. No doubt, if he went home like that, he would definitely catch a cold.

"You're shaking" you noted and he shrugged his shoulders. "I'm fine. It's pretty late. I should leave you alone to sleep" he murmured, brushing over your hand affectionately.

You shook your head no. Absolutely not. You weren't letting him go in this state. "Stay" you said certainly, already pulling him through your apartment. "Are you sure? I don't want to overstep" he layed his head to the side but followed you either way.

"Yes. You will be sick if you don't" you firstly filled a vase with water and placed the beautiful flowers in it, arrannging it on your kitchen counter. Then, you strolled to your bedroom and rummaged through your closet until you found some pieces your cousin had forgotten here a while ago when he had visited. He lived far away and always slept here whenever he wanted to meet your side of the family. "Should I be worried why you have men's clothes in your closet?" he teased with a smile, taking the hoodie and shorts thankfully.

You poked his side while rolling your eyes. "These are from my cousin. Don't worry" you added, walking to the bathroom with a hand on your back. This whole standing was the dead of your back. And your feet were killing you too.

In the doorway, you turned. "Up for a bath?" Seungmin nodded, noting that it will be the best to finally ward off the cold out of his bones. You hummed as you let the bath tub full of water and added a bath bomb along with some oil.

As you waited for the tub to fill, Seungmin stepped closer to you. You felt his presence behind your back and relaxed, especially as his arms sneaked around your waist and he hugged you from behind.

"Wanna keep me company?" he whispered into your ear, caressing your bump gently. You nodded, turning in his arms and catching his lips with your own. He moaned into the kiss, kneading your sides. Slowly, his lips moved against yours and he licked questionately with the tip of his tongue over your lips. You moaned loudly, opening your mouth which he immeadiately used to slip his tongue into your mouth. Tenderly, he let it dance around yours which turned slowly into a fight over dominace.

Your hands shot up to his hair, brushing through his soft strands and pulling gently, earning another breathy growl. Your teeth clashed together as the kiss got rougher and more passionate. Heat pooled in your stomach, leaving you whiny.

Before you could rip his clothes off his lean body, he broke off the kiss. He chuckled at your disheveled and desoriented state, pecking your lips and nodded to the tub. "It's full. We should soak in the warmth first, especially with your back hurting" he caressed your back gently. You were shocked that he had noticed your pain. Just this mention alone made your heart beat faster in delight.

"You're right" with that, you watched the black haired strip bare of his clothes. If Sanha was here, she would have mocked you about your open mouth and nearly drooling. But luckily she wasn't here to tease you. You knew he was lean and muscular but damn, he must have bulked up more since the first (and last) time you had seen him naked at the one-night-stand.

Everything on him was perfect, built like a god. You definitely understood why his fans freaked out whenever they saw him. Because you were freaking out too on the inside. You felt the heat in your cheeks and were sure you could compete with a tomato right now.

In a swift motion, he stepped into the tub, moaning as the hot water enveloped his cold skin. Goosebumps formed on his arms as he leaned back, watching you with a crooked smile. "Are you gonna stare forever or are you gonna join me at some point? Do you wanna take a picture? It holds longer" he smirked and winked at you, observing how the blush in your face intensified.

You cleared your throat, stepping from one foot to the other. Suddenly, you were nervous. Anxious even. This would be the first time he saw your pregnant body. You had swollen legs and feet and with over 30 weeks pregnant, your skin around your belly was strechted and marks were forming, blue and ugly.

You never were so self-conscious before because you had always been satisfied with your body but now? You whole body had changed, nothing was like before and most likely would never turn back to what it had been.

Water splashed, breaking your trail of thoughts. Seungmin leaned over the bathtub rim, water dripping down his arms as he props himself up. "Hey, Y/n. What's going in your cute little mind, huh?" he asked tenderly, his voice soft and soothing.

You cleared your throat, looking down at the white tiles. "Nothing..." you answered hesitantly, drawing out the word. The black haired layed his head to the side, analyzing your body language.

"If it's about your body, I need to tell you that I find you incredibly attractive. With or without your bump. Honestly, I think you're even hotter with a baby in your belly" his ears turned red but his words lacked any sign of lying. They were dripping of pure honesty, leaving you blushing and smiling.

Still nervously, you shrugged your pullover and your jeans off, leaving you only in your underwear. Silently, you watched Seungmin's face closely. But you only saw affection in his eyes. With a deep breath, you slipped out of the last clothes and stepped into the tub.

Seungmin positioned himself in front of you, turning you around so that you could sit in his lap. His forehead touched yours. "See. You look absolutely perfect. Like a goddess" he whispered into your ear and pressed a gentle kiss to your neck, making your breath hitch. Your fingers clutched his shoulders as his own massaged your sides and travelled up and down your back.

Along with the warmth, you felt the tension slowly fade and you relaxed fully in his arms. His little pecks and suckles continued on your neck, bringing back the longing and desire you had felt earlier.

You pushed his face away from your neck and captured them instead with your own. Again, his tongue slipped inside your mouth as you lazily made out with each other. Heat started to pool in your stomach again and you moaned into his mouth from time to time. You were desperate for more.

But not just you were affected by your passionate kissing, his own cock started to harden, twitching between your thighs whenever he drew a high-pitched moan from you. Experimantaly, you rolled your hips, earning a breathy groan from the man underneath you and his fingers tightened around your waist. Surely, he would bruises there but you couldn't care less.

All you wanted was to relief the aching between your legs and to finally let go. To let go and fall for the desire and longing you had haboured since the night you had created the life inside your belly. Since then, you were desperate for more. To feel him again. To feel the pleasure and the bliss he had given you.

You rubbed your core repeatedly against his cock, feeling him moan into your mouth whenever his hard member slipped through your wet folds. The whole sensation left you shuddering. He stopped your movements with his hands on your hips, breaking the kiss. You both heaved, chests touching. "Stop, my love. Are you sure you want to right now?" his voice was raspy and deep, showing the desire he felt. You nodded eagerly and tried to move again.

"Are you sure? I mean I won't hurt the uh - baby, right?" His ears turned pink instantly and he scratched his neck. You giggled, shaking your head at his adorableness and letting it fall onto his shoulder. Gosh he was so cute.

"The baby will be absolutely fine. He isn't going to get hurt at all" you placed a gentle kiss on his sensitive skin before you lifted your head to peck his lips. Then, you straddled him, lining his hard cock up with your pussy.

Slowly, you sank down onto him, feeling him glide against the tender skin. After such a long time without sex, you knew you needed some time to accommodate to his size. He wasn't that thick but very long and he stretched you out. With shallow breaths, you tried to relax around him to ease the pain if the stretch. To keep you from focusing too much on it, Seungmin brushed his hands up and down your waist, kissing your forehead soothingly.

"Are you alright?" He asked into your ear, telling you that it was completely fine stopping at every moment, whenever it got too much or painful. You shook your head, giving him a crooked smile. "I'm fine. The burn isn't that intense anymore" you calmed him down, testing how you felt with rolling your hips.

He moaned at the feeling of the velvety walls dragging against his sensitive cock. You both opted for a slow pace, passionate and full of longing and desire you both had suppressed for so long.

"At least we don't need to use protection anymore" you giggled which turned into a moan as Seungmin hit the right spot inside of you. He snorted, rolling his eyes playfully. As your movements turned sloppy, Seungmin took over, moving his hips up and down.

You leaned your head against his neck as you whined, feeling your legs tremble slightly. Your fingers clawed at his back, surely leaving some marks. The black haired kissed the spot between your neck and shoulder, sucking at the sensitive skin which only added to your pleasure.

As he tried a new angle, you moaned high-pitched, the new spot he hit inside you let you see stars and you clenched around him, earning a breathy groan. Your mind was swimming in pleasure and desire while a knot formed in your core, tightening ever so slightly with each thrust.

"Oh my god, Seungmin" you muttered in between heavy breaths, sweat forming that was immeadiately washed away by the warm water around you. It splashed as his movements grew faster, more desperate. He was chasing his own high, you could feel it.

"I'm close" you stuttered, lifting your head to look him into the eyes. They were dilated with lust and a deep adoration, the love he had talked about earlier. He smiled widely before pressing a kiss to your lips. "Me too, my love" he whispered against them, his tongue dancing with yours in their own dance.

His hands grabbed your hips, guiding your body up and down with surprising strength. His hips met yours halfway, slamming into you to draw these beautiful sounds out of you that he loved so dearly. His thrusts got faster and harder, pushing you to the edge and suddenly the knot in your core dissolved, leaving you in pure bliss. His own orgasm followed almost immeadiately, his hips stuttered and he pressed his cock deep inside of you, feeling how your orgasm made your walls clench down on him, massaging his cock.

He moaned, letting his head fall on your shoulder, his wet hair tickling your skin. You felt himpulsating inside of you, only adding more pleasure to your own high.

It took you both several minutes to catch up afterwards. He was still deep inside of you, his cum filling you to the brim. You felt warm, giddy even and utterly exhausted. His hands glided over your back soothingly, helping you to control your rapid breathing.

"Let's get you cleaned up", he murmured into your ear, his voice raspy and deep, sending a chill over your back. You nodded trying to get up from his lap but slipping and crashed back down. Jup, your legs were definitely wobbly.

He groaned as his cock brushed over your walls. He stilled you, stopping you from another attempt. "If you keep doing that, we won't sleep tonight" he replied, voice thick with lust. You giggled. "Ups, sorry"

Carefully, he lifted you up until his cock slipped out of your pussy before sitting you back down on his lap. The feeling of the sudden emptiness left you whining. He laughed wholeheartedly, pecking your forehead affectionately. He grabbed a wash cloth you had laid out earlier and spread some body wash over the soft farbric, rubbing it in and then trailing it over your back and shoulders. You sighed comfortably, laying your head on his chest, closing your eyes.

Carefully, he poured over your head to make your hair wet. He massaged your scalp with the shampoo and conditioner, poking your side as he let it rest. "Don't fall asleep on me now" he whispered into your ear. You murmured something incoherently, lifting your head up. Your eyes were still half closed and a dreamy smile formed on your lips. "Never" you replied, earning a chuckle. "Of course" he washed the conditioner out of your hair and helped you climb out of the tub ungracefully.

"Oh my gosh, I feel like a walrus" you comment with a giggle, wrapping your hair in a towel and your body in a bathrobe with your belly peeking out. "No, you're more like a fairy. A beautiful one" he corrected with a smirk. You snorted, rolling your eyes. "Are looking at your own reflection in the mirror? Or am I just a fat fairy?" you giggled, poking his defined, exposed belly. He squirmed away from your touch, defending himself against you.

"You're not fat. You have my baby inside of you" he corrected again, caressing over your belly.

You giggled, nodding along. "You're right. And I don't regret being pregnant at all. I kinda love the feeling of having a bump even though it's getting on my nerves sometimes when nothing is fitting anymore"

You let the bathrobe fall, walking to your cupboard completely bare, knowing that Seungmin's hungry eyes followed every step you took. "Wanna take a picture? It's gonna hold longer" you winked, picking up the phrase he used before. He shook his hand in amusement, a corner of his lips twitching upwards. You rummages through the cupboard, grabbing a special lotion that really helped moisturize your stretched skin.

Before you could spread some of the milky liquid on your hands, Seungmin took the bottle from you. "Let me" he commented, rubbing the lotion between his hands and laid them gently on your belly. You stilled, holding your breath as Seungmin moved his hands in slow circles.

He caressed his fingers over your stretch marks, drawing figures over your sensitive skin. You giggled. "What are you doing?" you laughed. "Worshipping your body, what else?" he responded playfully, tracing every little thing that lets you sometimes feel self-conscious about. He cupped your bump with his hand, smiling widely in happiness as well as in shock as your skin extended slightly right were his hand was.

Your little bean was kicking, or rather running a marathon in your belly with how much kicks hit you. You winced as he boxed you right in the ribs. "Beanie, isn't it way too late for you? It's bedtime" the black haired scolded your child, index finger pointing at your belly and poking back whenever a new kick hit you.

"At least I know now where all this kicking and poking comes from" you rolled your eyes dramatically, squirming away from Seungmin's hand. "Stop running away! I was having a conversation with my son" he exclaimed, throwing his hands in the air.

"You can have as much conversations as you want when beanie is born" you replied mockingly, slipping into a wide t-shirt and shorts because you couldn't fit your pyjamas over your bump anymore.

"But that will take such a long time!" Seungmin pouted but also dressing in the clothes you had layed out for him.

"such a long time? Seungmin, I'm 32 weeks now. With only 8 more weeks to go" you corrected, already feeling giddy as you thought about holding your little bean in your arms. Well, first you had to survive the birth.

"That are 8 weeks too long" he smirked, grabbing your hand and pulling you out of the bathroom. Together, you walk into your bedroom, jumping into bed with the blanket like your own little bubble of comfort. Without second thought, he pulls you towards him until your face is only centimetres away from his, your legs tangled together.

Now, the weight of the day settled again, laying heavily on your eyelids. Sleepily, you blinked, shuffling until you laid comfortable which grew more difficult with how further this pregnancy progressed. Seungmin gave you a kiss on the nose, featherlight and tender.

"Good night, my love" he whispered which you replied, loving how his hands sneaked around your waist, caressing your bump lovingly. Lulling you to sleep with his breath hitting your shoulder as you hid your face in the crook of his neck, inhaling his rich scent.

❤☯❤

The next morning, you slowly woke up to the feeling of warmth radiating around your body, enveloping you in a cocoon of comfort. Your eyes were still closed, thinking that a little bit of sleep wouldn't hurt anybody. You loved the warmth that's why you always let your curtains wide open to let the sun in. Just like now. The sun must have fought against the heavy rain to shine so warmly.

But it wasn't the sun that warmed you, it was something or rather someone. Seungmin to be exact. You were in his arms, cuddled up with your back against his chest. For a second, his lips pressed a ghost like kiss on your neck where his head had tested before his arms opened and he quietly shuffled out of bed.

Confused, your eyes fluttered open, asking yourself why he was getting up. And it wasn't even six o clock yet. And the sun wasn't even shining, thick raindrops still hitting your window with force. The storm hadn't even begun wearing down.

Your bed squealed slightly as he moved to the edge, sitting up and rubbing over his face in exhaustion. You stilled completely when you heard his bare foots against your floor, almost soundlessly sneaking out of the room.

You turned to the now closed door (which was a full workout with the bump) and suddenly felt so cold. Now, your personal heater was gone and with him was your confidence you had yesterday before going to sleep. Never, you would have thought that a single action would make you question everything he had said and done.

Was he leaving? Despite having been up for only a couple of minutes, your mind was running a marathon. Why was he leaving? Why didn't he stay with you?

Was he regretting what he said yesterday? Was he ashamed? Thousand questions bombarded you, leaving an insecure and self-conscious person behind.

Was anything he had said true? Could you believe him? Or was this all just a sick joke you fell for?

You sighed, already fighting your tears. How could you be that dumb? How could you think he really thought of you more than just being the mother to his unwanted child? Pathetic, absolutely pathetic. He had fooled you once, you had misunderstood once and now, you were repeating the same mistake again and again.

You rubbed your hands over your face, refusing to cry over a man that hurt your heart already. There was nothing left to break. It was already in shambles, everything. Your heart, your mind and your whole body.

Even though, you didn't want to meet him while he was sneaking out like an unimportant one night stand, you couldn't think about getting back to sleep right now. So, you pushed your overly tired body up and sighed as you already felt the back pain beginning to form. That was going to be a long day, you thought.

Quietly and with a sour mood, you walked into the kitchen, eyebrows knitted in annoyance. You stopped in your tracks when you saw Seungmin. He is still here, you thought surprisingly.

His head shot up in surprise when he heard your steps. His smile was warm, inviting you closer. But you were hesitant, having actually expected him to quickly flee from your apartment and never speak again about what had happened yesterday.

You wrapped your arms around your body, trying to shield what he was going to say. Would he say that you two should better forget what had happened in the bath? Would he thank you for another one night stand and make you sign another NDA?

You noticed that he was already dressed in his own clothes again that you had thrown over your towel dryer but you doubted that they were already dry since they weren't long enough on it.

"Y/n! Why are you awake? I'm sorry if I woke you up" he sounded genuine like he meant what he said. But you didn't trust the adorable smile on his lips that made his dimpled pup out, you couldn't. Not when he could crush the hope that bubbled up inside of you within a few words.

"So, you wanted to leave? Without saying something?" You replied coldly, not answering to his question. Judgemental, you squeezed your eyes together, watching how his movements stilled for a second.

"Yes, I'm sorry. I didn't want to wake you up this early. But I have practise in about an hour" he voiced without any sharpness, just the gentleness he had shown you yesterday. Oh, but you weren't buying that.

"Was any of what you said yesterday true?" Your voice vibrated harshly with the hardness that echoed through the room, showing clearly how hurt you were from him sneaking out. Seungmin's concerned face grew tenderly, even a little bit calmed down.

With careful steps, he came closer to you until his hands wrapped around your upper arms. "Or was it just a one night stand again?" You tried to sound carefree as if the answer he was about to give to you wouldn't change everything. But your own voice betrayed you, breaking in the middle.

Seungmin's eyes softened even more, his fingers rubbing over your bare arms soothingly. "Oh Y/n, I meant everything I have said. Every. Single. Word. I love you and the baby, so much. I'm sorry I made you doubt my words. But they are true. You are my everything. I love you" goosebumps formed all over your body as you processed his words. They wasn't any hesitance or shaking, nothing that would show you that he was toying with you. No, he meant it. Every single word.

Your resistance crumbled and thick tears of reluctance rolled down your cheeks. Seungmin cooked at you, hugging you tightly and swaying your body from left to right in a soothing manner. "Sh, it's okay. It's my fault. I should have made it very clear that I'm not joking"

"So you are not regretting anything?" You whispered in his hear, voice shaky and thin. Seungmin shook his head, bringing a few centimetres of distance between your faces to show you how serious he was.

"I don't regret it. I don't regret having sex with you yesterday. I don't regret falling so deep for you that even I can't deny anymore that I'm whipped. And I'm absolutely not regretting our one night stand that lead up to this point. No, I'm thankful for that. Because that night changed everything. My life did a full turn, but it got so much better. Because I not just found my one person I'm sure I'll marry someday, but I also got gifted with a wonderful son that will have the beauty of his mom. And maybe Santa isn't bad either but we don't tell her that" Seungmin smiled brightly, proud of you and what he had been gifted with.

You couldn't help but stifle a laugh between your overwhelmed sobs at the mention of Sanha and their love hate relationship. These raw feeling made your heart feel light and beat faster as if it tried to jump straight out of your chest to be closer to Seungmin.

"W-what are we, Seungmin?" you added. You couldn't breathe, just the mere thought that he could maybe just want friends with benefiets made you squirmish with anxiety. But Seungmin's smile never died down, not when his hand gently cupped your cheek, pushing your chin up so that you needed to look him in the eyes. His index finger drew lines over your bottom lip, making you nearly sigh deeply into the tender touch.

"Whatever you want us to be, my love" he murmured, eyes observing you softly. "Because I'll be happy with everything you give to me. Like I said, you ruined me for every other person. I love you. And I would be happy - no, I would be over the moon to call you my girlfriend."

You gulped, a small smile spreading over your lips as you layed your hand over his that was still coupling your face. "Then, I'll gladly call you my boyfriend" he shuddered at the phrase, closing his eyes to get used to the sweet sound of boyfriend from your mouth. Gosh, he already loved this name. He should record it and make it his ringtone.

"Say it again" Seungmin plead, the biggest smile lighting his whole face, dimples showing and eyes forming crescents.

"What? That you're my boyfriend?" You giggled, mocking him lightly to which he whined in response.

"Stop teasing me, my love." He pouted, looking exactly like a puppy. You laughed wholeheartedly. "Seungmin, my boyfriend-" you began, wrapping your hands around his neck and pulling him closer which he hadn't expected at all. "-I love you too" his eyes sparkled like you had gifted him the world on a silver plate.

"Oh I love that sound" he murmured, connecting your lips in a passionate kiss and you felt him smile. Before you could even think about deepening the kiss, you picked up a strange smell. It smelled burned and you broke the kiss to check where the ugly smell came from.

"What is smelling so burnt?" You questioned, knitting your eyebrows and sniffing the air. Seungmin stilled and yelped, running out of your intimate hug to your cooker. Dark grey smoke rose from the pan and you coughed, quickly opening a window to prevent the fire alarm going off. With a hand covering your mouth and nose, you waved your other hand from left to right.

"Oh my god, Seungmin. What did you do?" You coughed out, turning to him as he moved the pan from the cooker to another surface where it wouldn't burn further. He scratched his neck, chuckling nervously. "Actually, I was making pancakes for you to eat later when you wake up. But I guess I should leave the cooking to Felix and Chan" you giggled, shaking your head at his comment.

"No word to anyone. I swear!" He added, panic settling into his eyes. "Felix will unalive me if he finds out that I ruined pancakes that were made after his recipe. He will take that personally" he told you with wide eyes.

Your giggles turned into a laugh. You couldn't imagine the kind sunshine Felix to murder your boyfriend. Boyfriend. That sounded unfamiliar, even in your thoughts. But not in a bad way, no, it made you giddy, excited for the future awaiting you two.

Seungmin checked his phone, cursing as he saw how late it already was. "Shit, I need to get to practice" he murmured, quickly saying goodbye to you with a peck on your lips and a affectionate rub over your bump. He was nearly completely out of the front door, when he stopped again, turning around and grinning widely. "Can I see you tonight again?" As you nodded, his smile widened even more, winking at you and yelling an 'I love you' so loud that you were sure that the whole apartment building had heard it. Either way, you followed his example.

❤☯❤

Chan's Chaos kids + Y/n

Chan has added you to the group chat.

Hyunjin: Tell me, Y/n. Spill. What did that idiot pay you for you to be in a relationship with him? Thousands? Millions?

Changbin: He isn't that rich.

Seungmin: Rude.

Y/n: he didn't pay me anything.

Jisung: WHAT? SINCE WHEN? WHAT HAPPENED?

Jeongin: Hah, I knew it. Changbin and Felix give me my money.

Seungmin: You actually made bets? What kind of friends are you?!

Jeongin: Friends who know how profitable bets can be. I expect you to give me my 50$ after dinner. And Sanha wants her money too.

Felix: I'm never betting with you ever again.

Changbin: I bet he is going to do the exact opposite in three days.

Minho: I bet that he will start betting again tomorrow.

Changbin: deal.

Seungmin: You guys are unbelievable.

Y/n: Wait guys. Sanha bet how long it's going to take us to get together?

Jisung: Yes, and she was pretty accurate.

Y/n: Betrayed by my own best friend ...

Hyunjin: Welcome to our family

Y/n: okay, now I slowly see why this chat is called Chan's Chaos kids.

Chan: Jup, now you know what I need to endure all this time. They never give me a pause with their shit.

Seungmin: Aww, do you need a pause, old man? Should I get your walkers?

Chan: Fuck off.

Chan: I hope your son gets at least his mother's character traits. Otherwise we won't survive.

You giggled as you read their texts. It was cute that they added you to their group chat. They sent some more texts but you couldn't read them because Sanha's profile plopped up as she called you.

"Why did Felix and Changbin give me my money? Have Jeongin and I really won the bet? I can't believe it!" she rambled vividly and you could practically see her in front of you, throwing her hands in the air. "I mean, I don't mind the money but why the hell didn't you tell me at first?!" she exclaimed, huffing in annoyance.

You giggled, shaking your head at her antics. "Sorry, Sannie. I just - after the date yesterday with Wonho - which was perfect if I'm being honest - Seungmin waited in front of my apartment. We spoke and he apologised." you recounted, pulling the blanket thighter over your own body. After Seungmin went to practise, you opted to cuddle up on your couch with a fluffy blanket and your series.

"Uhh, interesting. And then?" she wanted to know giddily. "Then, he told me how he really felt for me and gave me a bouquet." you noticed how your cheeks turned red and were extremely grateful that your best friend couldn't see it. Otherwise, she would never let you live that down.

"A bouquet? Shut up! I need a photo. Now!" she yelled excitedly, the sound of her hands clapping could be heard in the background. You laughed, rolling from your comfortable spot to snap a quick photo. "Oh my god! It's so cute! When he isn't an asshole, he is actually a gentleman" she noted approvingly.

"What happened to my best friend who tried to unalive him?" you questioned in mockery. "She's still there but right now, she is just happy that her best friend is happy. You know? I can easily kill him the next time he does something stupid" she shrugged. You hummed, mindlessly caressing your bump.

"Did you have sex afterwards?" Sanha asked boldy. You weren't even surprised for her to ask you. Actually, you had guessed that this would be the first question from her. "Yes, we spent the night together" you affirmed, blushing at the memory of your bath last night.

"Uhhhhhh" she teased, drawing the sound out. "Was it good? Did you have fun?"

"Yes, it was even better than the first time" you agreed. "And what does that make you? Are you in a relationship now?" she asked hesitantly, careful not to press more salt into a possible wound. But luckily, there was no wound. Just a healing heart that would take some time to trust him fully and be confident in the relationship. But it was a beginning. Hopefully, a beginning to something big.

"We're together now. He asked me this morning after I confronted him. I was so anxious that I had misunderstood him yesterday. But he could reassure me that he wanted me to be his girlfriend." you told her truthfully.

"Aww! Congratulations Y/nnie! It was about to be time!" she squealed in joy, telling you something about her work and how she hated it that her lunch break was nearly over. For a few minutes, she told you the newest gossip at work and hung up.

Now that the semester was over, you could really prepare for the birth of your little one and start planning the nursery. You still didn't know where the hell you should fit his room. Well, as a stillborn, he would be at your side at night anyways. But after this phase, you really needed to think about where to put his crib. Maybe in the living room? This was the only room that could fit a crib. Not even your bedroom was big enough.

You feared that you didn't have any other option than moving into a bigger apartment. You hated this. You hated that you would eventually needed to leave your home you had worked so hard for. And every apartment you had looked up was well over your price range.

You sighed, that was a problem for later, you thought. You still had eight weeks to go. That was enough time, right?

You spent the next few hours with watching your series, napping and looking for all kinds of stuff you needed when the little bean was born. In between, you ravaged all the food in your kitchen, searching for your next craving.

Over text, Seungmin had informed you that he would be at your place around eight pm with your favourite ice tea and food. At the mention of food, your mouth watered. Point eight, he knocked gently on your door and greeted you with a peck on your lips. You were still surprised how natural it felt. Like you had been together for longer, not just for a few hours. But the way he acted around you, didn't change at all. He was still very observant with his usual snarky comments you loved so dearly.

But now, he was far more affectionate and showed his love openly. And you were a sucker for that. You leaned against the kitchen counter, pressing a hand on your belly to soothe the minimal pain you felt. It was normal, your docter had claimed. This were practise contractions to prepare you for birth. But that only made you more scared for the actual birth and contractions. You had a low pain tolerance but you hoped that once the little bean was there, all the pain would be forgotten.

"Where did you get the food?" you asked curiously, huffing in annoyance as the next painful wave hit your body and your stomach clenched uncontrollably together. "I forced Minho to cook your favourite since I didn't want to actually burn your kitchen down this time" he grinned triumphantly and you peeked over his shoulder.

"Uhh pasta. My cryptonite" you giggled happily, groaning when another wave rolled over you. "I know. Redemption through pasta, right?" he stated smugly, his eyes growing concerned when he saw you twitching in pain. For a few seconds, he abandoned his place at the cooker to reheat the pasta and brushed soothingly over your back. "Are you sure you're alright?"

You hummed in exhaustion. "Yup, I guess my body just wants to be well prepared" you joked around, breathing deeply as the pain decreased. "By the way, have you thought about baby names?" you changed the topic, swaying the brownish ice tea in your glass. It was a cocktail glass. But who was going to judge you? You wanted to drink with elegance even though there was not a hint of alcohol.

Seungmin turned to the pasta again, then placing the pot on your kitchen table as he shut the cooker off. "Well, I needed to confront myself with baby names when beanie's uncles are already suggesting the most terrible names for months!" the black haired chuckled, recalling the funniest ones.

"I wasn't even surprised when Minho brought up 'Gremlin Jr.' as the first name. But now, it turned into a whole competition who could find the craziest name. We've got Cryzilla from Hyunjin, Lord Droolia from Jisung and Caption Cutie McBurp from Changbin. I can't tell which one is the best"

You snorted at the suggestions. They were hilarious and you didn't know how they came up with these names. "Well, at least we know how we aren't naming our child" you commented, munching on the first spoon of pasta and moaning in delight at the sinful taste.

"Damn, Minho should cook more often for me" you murmured, head thrown back. "I can ask him what he thinks about being our personal servant" Seungmin winked, smirk displayed on his mouth. "I think he will hit you with a frying pan as soon as you speak it out" you commented. "Ah, I bet he will be overjoyed." the black haired joked.

"Okay, but seriously, do you have any names you like? Because I have some" you changed the topic back to the more serious one. "Hm, difficult question. The most names I looked up didn't really convince me but I kinda like Byeonwoo" he explained, the tablewear clanked against eachother.

You hummed, nodding at the name. "I don't really like the syllable 'Byeon' but I love the ending 'woo' since it means universe." you commented. "I thought to maybe play with the meaningof the name. Because we call our baby beanie as a nickname, I figured that it may be cute to combine it with his real name. So, maybe Saengjun or Jongwoo?"

Seungmin nodded. "I love Jongwoo! It's so cute" his hand reached for yours, brushing over your thumb tenderly. "So, Jongwoo it is? It means origin of greatness and I think that's the perfect meaning" you told him and smiled widely. Your little bean was really the origin of greatness. That night, that one night stand, changed your life forever. It changed it into a better version. Now, you had everyting you had hoped for as a child. A boyfriend and an unborn child on the way.

Well, maybe you hadn't seen it coming that you would check the point pregnancy off first and then boyfriend but that's unimportant. Without beanie, you wouldn't have met Seungmin again. Without him, the black haired wouldn't sit across from you, here in your apartment, holding your hand like you meant the entire universe for him.

❤☯❤

"Oh my god, Y/n! You are so big!" Jisung squealed high pitched a few weeks later, opening his arms to give you a tight hug. You chuckled. "Thank you for the reminder" Chan rolled his eyes in annoyance, giving his younger member a slap on the back of the head while exclaiming "Yah, you don't say that to a pregnant woman you idiot!"

Jisung pouted, rubbing his head as he let go of you, going to sulk while cuddling Minho who smirked at Seungmin. "I didn't know you like bags so much. if I had known, I would have bought you one for your birthday last year." Seungmin flipped him off, still holding your bag he insistent on carrying because he claimed that your back is strained enough from the baby. Yet, you must say that Minho had a good point and the bag actually kinda suited him (but you weren't telling him that).

"It's been so long!" Felix shouted, jumping up in down while wearing a smile that could compete with the sun. You nooded in agreement. "Yes, I know. I'm so sorry. But all those doctor's appointments and searching for the right hospital I want to give birth in, kept me very busy"

"Plus, your boyfriend kept you to himself like a caveman. I'm surprised he let you out of your cave to come here" Hyunjin added, brushing teasingly through Seungmin's black hair, only annoying him further. "Now I know why I just spent time alone with her" your boyfriend murmured, pushing out a chair for you to sit at. Jeongin came hugging you from the side, poking your belly affectionately and greeting him as if he would hear it through your belly.

"How long until this beanie enters the world?" Chan asked, filling your plate with steak and smashed potatoes. "About five weeks" you answered, wanting to take the plate but Seungmin grabbed it instead. "You're a glutton!" Changbin scolded him immeadiately but your boyfriend just laughed, shaking his head.

"You're idiots sometimes. Pregnant women aren't allowed to eat meat that isn't overcooked." he sounded like he was reciting out of a maternity book, shocking you all. You shrugged, taking the plae back once Seungmin had pushed the flesh on his plate, leaving only potatoes and souce on it. "Well, at least someone is paying attention" you giggled, feeling warmth climb your chest at the mere thought that Seungmin had researched and remembered those things.

"What would you just do without me?" he answered with a wink. "Eating steak and drinking an cocktail?" Minho answered on your behalf. "Not being in a relationship with a pabo?" Felix added, seemingly enjoying to irritate his fellow member. "Sleeping calm through the night without back and neck pain or the constant feeling to pee?" you decided to throw into the enumeration, standing up to do your third walk to the bathroom in the fifteen minutes you were at their dorms as if you needed to prove the point.

"Okay, okay I get it!" you heard the black haired exclaim in the kitchen, clearly pouting like a sore loser. "Well at least my life is now so funny with your little chaos group." You yelled with a laugh, earning the outraged gasped from them and the bickering continued.

As you slipped back into your seat, listening as they conversed about their next comeback. "I can't wait to see Stays reaction!" Jisung babbled, swinging his fork from left to right.

"Fortunately, we still have four months until release. The management was not amused to postpone the date" Chan chuckled, remembering the struggle. Three months ago he had helped Seungmin with informing the company about the pregnancy and that Seungmin would need some time off to take care of you and the little bean.

"Jup, I feared that JYP would murder you for it. Seriously, the way his screams could be heard through the whole company was absolutely terrifying." Jeongin recounted.

"Well, I didn't leave room for arguments." Seungmin replied smugly, recalling the red agitated face his boss had made. Just for this expression, it was absolutely worth it.

"The baby can finally come" you exclaimed, rubbing over your swollen belly. "I just need to find a bigger place to move in."

Changbin patted you shoulder. "We'll find something. Even when we need to throw Seungmin out of the forms so that you can have his room for you and the baby"

"And where should I sleep?" Seungmin questioned, eyebrows raised. "You have your own apartment?" Hyunjin commented, rollings his eyes.

"Wow, thank you Hyunjin, really" Seungmin snorted teasingly.

As the dinner slowly winded down, Seungmin brought you back to your apartment. Sadly, he couldn't stay at your place since he and the boys were going to fly to the USA for a few days for several interviews and some fashion shows. This was the last time they will be away before your birth. But nonetheless, you didn't want to part from them, not even for a few days.

"Thank you for the great evening. I'm glad I could spend some time with you all before your trip" you murmured, watching the city lights flow by.

"Don't say you are going to miss me?" Seungmin gasped dramatically, a smirk forming on his lips while his eyes stayed trained on the street in front of him.

You rolled your eyes, trying to hide your growing amusement. "Of course I'm going to miss you. You practically lived with me at my apartment at some point. And now it's going to be so quiet"

"Speaking of apartment, I could help you, you know? With finding the perfect place for you and Jongwoo" his voice turned more serious as he reached over with one hand to caress yours. You sighed, playing with a hair strand. "I know, I know. But I don't want that. Everyone will think that I got myself knocked up just to profit from your wealth."

"But I know that's not true - we all know that's not true" he soothed, slowly parking in front of your apartment building, shutting down the engine and turning fully towards you.

"Yes, but I don't want to rely just on you. I don't want to be called a money digger." You reasoned, eyes growing concerned as you thought how every person you would meet would immediately associate you with Seungmin. They all would only see the money he spends on you, not the love you shared. They will say that you are only with him for your benefit, like he was your sugar daddy.

He cupped your face gently, smiling lightly. "I know you love your independence but at least let me spoil you sometimes, okay? And besides, I have already thought a bit about another option. At dinner, when Hyunjin mentioned my own apartment, I got the idea that I have enough space there. I could clear my little office for the little bean. I wasn't much in there anyway. What do you think? Do you wanna move in with me?" His expressions were curious and gentle, not demanding you to immediately answer and let you think about it at first.

"Really? Is that okay for you? We would spend every second together in the apartment and we aren't together for that long" you voiced your concerns. Seungmin hummed, acknowledging your thoughts.

"Personally, I couldn't contain my joy but I know that it will be a massive change in our lifes. And I'm not saying that it's gonna be easy. I mean - besides the boys I never lived together in one place with anyone. But I would love to spend that extra time with you. I could be there for you and the baby. But I'm not going to force you to live with me. That's your choice, completely. I just want to give you this option"

"Thank you, Minnie. I appreciate the offer. And if I'm being honest, I love the idea. I mean - you are practically already living here. Under one circumstance I will move in with you." you held your index finger up. "I want to pay some rent. I would like the rent split in half, equally since he both would be living there."

"You obviously don't have to but if that's what you want, I'm completely fine with that. That way I have more money to spoil you" Seungmin winked, pressing a chaste kiss on your lips.

"Kim Seungmin don't you dare!" You scolded him, scrunching your nose together. Your boyfriend just laughed and booped your nose. "Just kidding. But I want to add one condition - when I'm back from America, I want to take you out on a date. A real one. We didn't have the time to celebrate our relationship with a fancy dinner, so that's my only condition" he submitted confidently.

"Well, if I want to live with you, I guess I don't have any other option" you shrugged playfully nonchalant, trying desperately to keep the smirk from forming on your lips.

"To finalise our negotiations, we need to seal it with a kiss" the black haired proposed as if it was some important business contract. "Sure, nothing easier than that" you winked, leaning over to the driver's seat to minimize the distance between you. Just to play a little bit with his sanity, you chose to lick over your lips, smirking at the way his gaze flickered down from your eyes to your lips. They stayed there, following every move with growing need and desire.

"What? Aren't you going to seal our contract?" you teased, earning an eyeroll and his hand gently grabbed your neck and pulled you close for the kiss while your hands rested on his upper legs to steady yourself. It started out tender at first, filled with a gentleness that left goosebumps all over your skin but soon, you felt his tongue brush over your velvety bottom lip and you moaned, lettng him inside. His mouth was pressed hard against your own, your tongues circled eachother like two enemies ready for a fight. And they fought - they fought a fiery battle of love and dominance.

Seungmin groaned, his one hand slipping into your hair, making a huge mess and the other rested on your waist, gripping you like you would dissapear if he didn't. You broke the kiss to breathe again and observed his swollen, red lips with satisfaction. You bet that yours didn't look any better. Your hands were still supporting your body while laying on Seungmin's legs and when you looked down, you couldn't help the smirk.

"Ups, gotcha all riled up, didn't I?", you giggled devilishly, brushing your hand in a slow motion over his buldge that was visible through his blue jeans. Biting your lip again, you loved the way he twitched under you touch. Seungmin groaned, laying his head slightly to the side and in his eyes blazed a fire of desire. "Careful with what you play, my love"

"Why? Because you would stay here with me instead of going to America?" you giggled, pressing a kiss to his nose as you let your fingers glide over his hardening member again. "Don't tempt me, my love" his voice had dropped, sounding raspy and full of longing for more.

"What if I want to?" you teased him and played with the zipper of his jeans, slowly pulling it down while never breaking eye contact. The buldge in his boxers was now larger once it was freed from the tight jeans material. Seungmin's breath hitched once you slipped a hand inside, pushing the last bit of fabric down until his pulsing cock stood tall in all his glory.

Through half closed eyes, he watched you intently as you wrapped your hand around his length and he bit his bottom lip to express a moan just at the sight. Slowly, you began to pump your hand, your grip squeezing him ever so slightly. Trying to draw out a moan with massaging his tender, reddened tip. He was already leaking precum and the black haired threw his head back against the seat while you spread the white liquid over his cock.

You loved the sounds he made and you felt yourself getting wetter and wetter with every second. Confidently, you leaned down and wrapped your lips around Seungmin's swollen tip, tracing sinfully slow over it and collcting precum on your tongue. Then, you pushed your head down, feeling him writhe in your hold. He squirmed in pleasure, cursing something under his breath.

A loud moan left his lips and his hands flew to your head, brushing harsh through your hair and gripping a few strands. but immeadiately unclenching them in concern to hurt you. You hummed, the vibration around his member making twitch and seeing stars.

"Oh god, Y/n... you're incredible, oh, fuck..." he groaned, opening his eyes to watch you move up and down on his cock. Your hand pumped what you couldn't fit in your mouth as you continued to swallow him whole, slowly letting your eyes wander upwards until your gazes met. Seungmin swore, he would never forget this image of you, his cock in your mouth and blinking through your lashes like a beautiful goddess. Yes, this picture was now burned into his mind and he would treasure it for his entire life.

In satisfction, you watched his face relax and contort with each movement, with each stroke of your tongue against the sensitive tip. You followed the sounds of his enjoyment, feeling praised whenever a loud moan echoed through the car or his hands tried so desperately not to pull on your hair.

Hair strands slipped from behind your ear in front of your face and Seungmin pushed them immeadiately away, moving them back where they came from so that nothing could block the exceptional view he had. Slowly, his moans grew higher, the other arm thrown over his face in pure bliss. He knew he wouldn't last long as the hot knot grew in his stomach, urging him to push his hips upwards to meet your movements. His pretty sounds encouraged you to continue.

"fuck... Y/n, my love. I'm-oh my- I'm gonna come" he warned in between groans and moans but you didn't let that stop you. instead, you sucked him in so deeply that his tip hit the back of your throat and moved quicker.

Light tears were running down your cheeks and Seungmin groaned loudly as his high crashed over him, wave after wave. His hand held you unintentionally down as his warm cum filled your mouth. Slowly, after the final drops of cum spilled out, his hand loosened and his head threw back again against the seat. Lifting, your head, you took a deep breath and wiped your chin of the little drips that escaped before swallowing the cum. Seungmin observed you quietly, chest rising and falling fast and his face was flushed red in heat. Gently, he cupped your cheeks, brushing the drying tears away and mumbled a thank you against your lips.

"I love you" he added softly, tucking himself back in and helping you out of the car to your apartment. "Thanks for bringing me up" you replied moments later as you stood in the opened front door, saying goodbye to the black haired since he needed to go back to the dorms because their flight would be leaving very early in the morning.

"Of course. What a boyfriend would I be if I just dropped my girlfriend off without making sure she got inside safely?" he rolled his eyes, connecting his hand with yours and pressing a tender peck on your lips.

"I'm gonna text you as soon as I get from the plane. And promise me to call me if anything happens to you or the baby. Then, I'll be in the next flight back to you" he exclaimed and you nodded. "Calm down, Minnie. Jongwoo and I will be perfectly fine. We still have five weeks and I think he isn't going to come sooner. Please, don't be so concerned, okay?"

He nodded, sighing. "Too late. I'm not even in America yet and all I'm thinking about is you and beanie" You pressed your lips against his for a second, leaning your forehead against his. "Have a good trip and come quickly back to me"

❤☯❤

Saying that your life without college or a job was boring was an understatement. With almost nine months pregnant, you couldn't work anymore, especially in a cefé. The most time was spent with Sanha when the boys were away. Even though you loved the time with your best friend, your heart ached to hold your boyfriend close.

The calls on a daily basis and the texts had been far from enough to stop you from missing him. Therefore, you were even more excited now that the five days were over and you were finally going to see him again.

Through the (very chaotic) group text, you knew that they all had boarded the plane a few hours ago and if your right, they must be landing soon. Sadly, you couldn't wait for them at the airport because of the attention they would attract from the media and their fans. You knew that, especially if your relationship with Seungmin grew more serious, there wasn't any chance to keep your relationship a secret forever. But now you didn't have the nerve to make it public. That was definitely too stressful before the birth and leaking this big information could seriously harm Seungmin's career as an idol.

No, right now, you could happily enjoy your life without a camera in your face all the time. Privacy had always been something you loved. And you loved to go out without people noticing you, discussing everything that you were doing or wearing. No, you didn't need that for now.

Seungmin: We just landed safely and I even napped for a few hours.

Y/n: that's great. Can't wait to see you. I missed you so much.

Seungmin: I missed you too.

Seungmin: Be ready at seven. I want to take you out to dinner.

You stared at the screen of your phone, smiling widening every time you reread his message. It was surprising that he wanted to go out after such a long plane ride. He must be so exhausted and still, he wanted to take you out. Of course, you had thought that he might come visit you after being away for five days but you rather thought about a calm evening on the couch, watching the movie you two had talked about during one of your calls.

But an actual date, your first real date, made you even more excited. Shit, what should I wear? You thought, the usual panic setting in to find something appropriate to wear. If you didn't have this giant bowling ball in your belly, you would have at least your whole clothes available.

Now, you could barely fit into a hoodie, let alone a t-shirt of yourself. You had made Seungmin race to your apartment at an ungodly hour a week ago to bring you some of his own clothes because with all the hormones invading your body, you had a mental breakdown about your unlucky clothes situation. Now, you mostly wore Seungmin's clothes, even leggings, because the big bean (yes, big bean because he sure as hell wasn't a little bean anymore) made sure his mommy had nothing else to wear. Little betrayer.

Clueless, you ravaged through your wardrobe, suddenly feeling like the you a few months ago when Seungmin had accompanied you to the doctor for the first time. Then, you remembered the dress Seungmin had gifted you after his trip to Paris. The dress. The red one. After a quick search, you held the beautiful dress in your hands, the material was soft and definitely not cheap, maybe even worth your whole existence.

The red, stretchy fabric hugged your body tight. It wasn't too tight, not pressing the air out of your lungs, rather a comfortable tight that felt like soft blanket around you. Even little beanie seemed to like it as he pressed his foot against your belly, suddenly becoming more active.

You chuckled, rubbing circled over your stretched skin. "I know beanie, I love it too. Your dada bought me this dress" you positioned yourself in front of the mirror, judging critically how this material hugged your body and you must say that it had been weeks where you had felt so pretty and comfortable in clothes at the same time. I guess I'll only walk around wearing this dress until birth, you joked in your head.

You brushed your hair into a loose bun, letting some stray hair strands fall out while some dangly golden earrings decorated your ears and a cute necklace your neck, drawing the attention to your exposed collarbones and neckline.

Then, you busied yourself with your makeup, choosing a more obvious but still beautiful style that would make your eyes pop out. Seungmin had said that he was going to take you out to dinner, probably into a fancy restaurant where they didn't put any prices on the menu cards.

The time flew by as you got ready, painting your nails with a pretty red polish that was nearly identical to the colour of your dress. With each minute you got more excited to finally see him again. It felt like an eternity since he had you in his arms. And you nearly sprinted (the fastest you could with your bowling ball of a child) through your shirt hallway, almost tripping over your shoes you had laid out for tonight.

Heaving, you opened the door with a wide smile, laying your head to the side. You knitted your eyebrows as the only thing you saw was an ocean of red flowers, roses to be precise. So many, that they blocked your sight on who was holding the large bouquet. But you didn't need to guess. It was Seungmin for sure.

His black hair popped up behind the mass of flowers, his face lit with a smirk. "Missed me, my love?" He asked cockily, wiggling his eyebrows at you. You rolled your eyes in response, gently grabbing the bouquet and placing it on the sideboard in the apartment to finally greet your boyfriend properly.

Quickly, you fell into his arms, hugging him tight with the intention of never letting go. His lips pressed a tender peck on your hairline, breathing in your scent and then capturing your lips with his own.

As the kiss ended, you watched how his gaze moved up and down your body, taking the sight of you in a pretty dress in. His mouth opened and a rosy blush coloured his cheeks in a pretty pink.

A smirk quickly hid his stunned expression. "Wow, I knew this dress would compliment you but it's better than in my imagination." He took your hand, nudging you to spin around yourself. You giggled, showing him every angle. He winked, whistling through his teeth.

"You look gorgeous. I knew it was a good idea to get red roses" he nodded approvingly, slipping his arm around your waist.

"You chose the flowers based on my outfit?" You snorted amused, shaking your head in disbelief. Seungmin scratched his neck, chuckling. "I hoped you would wear the dress I gifted you"

"Well, you weren't wrong. And it's so pretty. Do I wanna know how much it had cost?" You knitted your eyebrows.

"Nope, you don't want to know but I can reassure you that I would buy you thousands of dresses just to see you in them." He proposed, fingers caressing your side. "Which brings me to my next point - we should just stay home"

"What why?" You questioned with a pout. You didn't make yourself presentable just to stay here after all.

"Because you look too good. Other men will look at you and I definitely not want that when you are wearing something so sinful" his gaze darkened only at the thought of other men touching you, even staring at you was forbidden.

You rolled your eyes in annoyance, patting his chest soothingly. "Okay, come down Mr. Dominant. We aren't cave people anymore. I didn't spend so much time getting ready just to sit on the couch. Plus, something so sinful? Are you serious? I'm just wearing a dress" you chuckled, pointing down at you.

"A very pretty one, to be exact" he answered smugly, holding your hand again. "But I think I have no other option than taking you out for dinner. I'll just keep you very close to me and unalive everyone who stares at you with my eyes" he exclaimed confidently, guiding you out of your apartment but you stopped him, pointing to your sneakers in the hallway.

"But first, I need you to help me into my shoes" you proposed, plopping down on the chair next to the front door. It usually was one of your kitchen chair but now, until the birth of beanie, that was his new job.

"Putting your shoes on? I would rather undress instead of dressing you" Seungmin joked, nonetheless getting your sneakers and slipping them on your feet. You rolled your eyes at his mockery. "Well, with that giant bean in my belly I can't even see my feet" you exclaimed, trying to look over your protruding belly with no success.

"Luckily you have me" he smirked, jumping up from the ground to help you up. You picked his lips as a thank you and let yourself be guided out the apartment building.

"Where are we going?" You asked him for the twentieth time by now, earning yourself another annoyed glare. But you couldn't help it. You just felt so excited that you couldn't do anything except letting it all out. So, you have been babbling the whole twenty minute drive about the five days you didn't see him, telling him what weird new cravings you had and how Sanha had broken another glass again through her clumsiness.

Seungmin just listened and drove, replying every now and then to show you that he actually listened and enjoyed the time with you. As he stopped the car, he took your hand again, bringing you to a small looking house that was rather dark and looked not fancy at all.

"Are you sure it's open?" You questioned curiously, judging the closed door and the low light that just fell through the windows.

"Jup, Trust me. It's open" he nodded, pushing the door open and the door bell ran, announcing you as new customers. An older woman dressed in a black shirt and trousers came to you, greeting you with a friendly bow and motioned you to follow her. You grew even more curious when you noticed the lack of tables and other guests.

But you two followed her, Seungmin's hand calm in yours. As the older woman pushed another door open, your face was lit up with hundreds of fairy lights. You weren't in the house anymore, instead she had guided you out into a small inner garden that was closed off by houses in every direction. The garden was decorated with various kinds of plants. Trees, bushes shaped in different motives and flower beds. From tree to tree hung fairy lights, creating a romantic and soft atmosphere.

You noticed that all the other tables were full with customers, only one free to which the lady guided you. You sat amongst flowers, smelling their sweet scent in the air.

"Oh my god. How did you find this?" You asked Seungmin excitedly, your gaze still roaming through the whole garden. "Changbin was once here with Wooyoung, a friend from another group and they let me accompany them. It's one of my favourite places to be and despite the strange look on the outside, it's really popular. Here, you can't get a table without a reservation" he told you, watching your smiling face.

"Yes, I can believe that everyone would love to have dinner here. It's truly magic" Seungmin nodded, opening the menu to scan for something to drink. "What are you going to drink? Something fancy?" He asked, wiggling his eyebrows even though he knew exactly that you couldn't drink any alcohol.

"Actually, I think I'm going to be a little bit risky tonight and order the ice tea" you giggled, making Seungmin return your gesture. In shock, he pulled the air through his teeth. "Are you sure? I mean - be careful to not get a headache afterwards"

"I'll be careful of course" you agreed teasingly.

❤☯❤

"Be careful! These are the boxes with the photos and kitchen utensils!" you squealed, clasping your hands in front of your mouth as you watched Changbin and Chan lift the two boxes like they weighted nothing. The muscular member snorted, rolling his eyes. "Relax, I'm not gonna let it fall."

"I know but those photos are very important to me" you murmured, wandering through your empty apartment. It was strange to see it so empty, lacking every little memory you had made.

It was as if you had never been living here. All those years were now stacked in those boxes, leaving no trace of you. While one part of you was sad about this sudden change in your life, another was happy, excited even to start this new chapter. Not just in a new apartment but with Seungmin and little Jongwoo in your belly.

Two arms wrapped around your middle section from behind and a chin leaned on your head. "Relax, the others help where they can. I think with the boxes we have brought to our apartment already, we might actually get finished today." Seungmin whispered into your ear, rubbing soothing circles over your stomach.

You were three weeks away from your due date and not only his but also your nerves were getting thin slowly. Luckily, all the members were here and helped you this whole weekend during their only free time with packing and transporting it to Seungmin's apartment. - wait, it wasn't just his apartment anymore, it was also yours. Ours, like he had said.

"That would be awesome. I'm already dreading unpacking this mass of things" you whined, cuddling into his shoulder for comfort. When there was something you hated more than packing, then it was unpacking. This always took hours, even days. And with the constant urge to pee and immense back pain, it won't be any fun now.

"Luckily, you aren't the only one unpacking. I'm helping you so that you can relax on the couch and dictate where I should put your things" he winked, pressing another peck on your hairline. "Not bad, I like that idea" you hummed, leaving Seungmin's warm embrace to do a final walk through the apartment you had called home.

Everything was so empty, your bedroom was just a room. Without a bed, without your closet and without the memories you had made there over the last few years. Your living room was so cold without the couch you had bought with your own first money and the small TV that had accompanied you to all the movie marathons you and Sanha did.

Even though this was a goodbye, you had always known you wouldn't live here your entire lifetime. It was just something to live in when you were in college. And Seungmin and you would make sure to create new memories in your shared home.

"Okay, my love. Are you ready to go?" He asked you, after you had locked the front door and gave the key back to the landlord. "Yes, ready for our new adventure" you answered, watching the city blur as Seungmin's car moved faster. The others were already at your apartment with the van they had burrowed from the company.

Entering his apartment for the first time after your one night stand, immediately sent you back to that night. The night everything changed. You could practically see your past self in front of your inner eyes, how you had pressed yourself against Seungmin. How easily you had given into the pleasure and desire on a exhausting day.

But now, you weren't a stranger anymore. No, you definitely weren't strangers anymore who got together for a hookup. Now, more than your love connected you two. A baby. That was created from passion and pleasure, maybe not love in the first place but it was definitely the beginning of your love, of the family you had found.

Fortunately, you had labelled every single box precisely so that you all could split up in groups. While Jisung and Felix helped you with your clothes, Minho, Chan and Jeongin did the stuff for the kitchen and the rest took onto the everything else. It warmed your heart to have such a big family now. A family that spend their only time off from their very exhausting job, lifting heavy boxes. You were thankful and couldn't believe you had found such good friends.

Even Sanha came after her shift ended and helped with spreading your personal belongings such as photos or decorations through the whole apartment, claiming that she knew where you wanted to have certain memories. With all the effort, you were finished right at dinner time. Of course, you would rearrange some things over time but right now, it looked at least like a normal apartment and not like World War III. Minho had left with Jisung half an hour earlier to get takeout for you all since none of you were in the mood for cooking.

In fact, as soon as the last box was out of sight, you all plopped down in the living room. You, Sanha, Felix and Hyunjin on the couch while Chan and Jeongin got themselves chair from the kitchen. Seungmin leaned with his back against the couch, resting his back on your legs while sitting on the floor and after a few minutes, your hands wandered into his hair, playing with his stray strands.

Changbin had done the same as your boyfriend, giggling with Sanha about a random joke he made. Exhausted, you leaned your head back, looking up at the ceiling as another cramp hit you. It wasn't something unusual anymore for you. Nearly every day, you had those practise contractions.

"Everything alright?" Seungmin whispered, brushing his fingers up and down your leg in concern. You nodded, taking a deep breath as another wave hit you. "Yeah, just some contractions" you let him know with a crooked smile.

"You didn't do too much, did you? I read that exhaustion can cause early labour" his warm eyes observed every of your movement. "Don't worry. I was very careful" you replied, booping his nose as he looked up at you. "Okay" he hummed, closing his eyes and enjoying your fingers scratching his scalp.

"Dinner's here!" Jisung's voice rang through the apartment, the smell of hot, delicious food invading your home. Changbin was the first to reach his two band members with Hyunjin and Sanha hot on his heels. You weren't even surprised that your best friend was one of the gluttonous persons of your family.

"I'm gonna get some plates and forks" you mused more to yourself than to anybody, slipping quietly from the couch and into the kitchen. From there, you heard Jisung's enraged shoutings, assuming that one of the others wanted to take the bag full with food from him.

You reached down into the drawer with the plates, stopping as a sharp pain shot through your back and belly. Whining, you clutched your bump, inhaling over the searing pain like the nurse had taught you. Damn, those practise contractions are only getting more worse, you thought with a pout. You straightened as the wave minimized, bringing the plates into the living room like nothing happened.

Even though the contractions came from one moment to another and sharp, they luckily passed just as quickly. But you thought nothing of it. Why should you? You have had plenty of contractions during your pregnancy. This was just another preparation for your body, right?

But a sharp, sudden tightening in your lower belly woke you up from your sleep in the middle of the night. With jumping through the apartment all day, arranging everything, you and Seungmin had been really tired, getting ready for bed as soon as the members left to get back to their dorms to give you time to settle in alone. This tightening wasn't just a cramp, not a normal one. It was heavier, deeper, the kind of sensation that made you freeze and hold your breath.

For a second you laid completely still in the dark, unsure if you had imagined it and it was just another regular cramp. Maybe something had truly shifted. Your bedroom was consumed in silence except for Seungmin's slow, even breathing right beside you. You turned your head towards him, watching the rise and fall of his chest, his mouth slightly open and his messy hair hanging into his face. He looked cute, beautiful even.

You turned your head to the other side, looking at your nightstand where your alarm clock blinked brightly back at you. 1:43 am. It was still in the middle of the night.

Another wave came - this time stronger and your stomach tensed involuntarily. Sucking in a breath, you blinked up at the ceiling, feeling your heart began to race. What the fuck is happening? Is it happening? Does labour feel like that?

Your mind was drowned in chaos, thoughts turning into a tornado that left you panicking about what to do.

You hadn't reached your due date yet. It was too early. Way too early. This can't be happening. Not now. You didn't even live in this apartment for a day. Your nursery wasn't ready. You should still have three fucking weeks.

You slipped a hand under your belly, gently pressing the curve of it. Underneath your stretched skin, your little bean moved until the pressure of the contraction slowly faded.

Carefully, you sat up, swinging your legs over the side of the bed. Your joints ached, your feet were swollen. Nothing you hadn't accepted over the last few weeks. But your whole body felt on edge, adrenaline pumping through your veins and the only thing you could feel was a mix of fatigue and nerves.

This was your first pregnancy and you had known from the beginning what was awaiting you. Labour wasn't something you hadn't read about or talked in classes for becoming mothers. And still - with those nine months of preparation - you didn't feel ready. Not really. But now, in the safe darkness of your bedroom, with shadows dancing against the walls, everything you thought you knew felt far away.

"Seungmin" you whispered, voice wavering with anxiety. "Seungmin, wake up" you added a little bit louder now. He stirred, eyes slowly blinking open with a groan. "What's wrong?"

You leaned forward as another wave hit you, pressing your hands against your stomach to somehow soothe the dull pain. A moan filled with pain escaped you, making Seungmin sit up immeadiately as his brain still processed what's going on.

"I think ... I think it's starting" you whined in between shallow breaths. The black haired's eyes widened, crawling over to your side of the bed to rub circles over your bump.

"Do you- I mean- Are you in labour?" he asked, his eyes scrunched together in concern. You nodded, relaxing as the pain ceased slowly, giving you finally the opportunity to breathe again. "I've had a few contractions. They are kind of far apart, but ... they feel different" you explained.

"Fuck. Okay, okay. Should we go now? Do we need to go now?" the last hints of tiredness were washed away from his face now, suddenly wide awake. You shrugged your shoulders, leaning against his chest. "I don't know" you murmured unsure, your voice thinner than you wanted it to be.

Uncertainty passed between you for a moment, before Seungmin swung his legs out of bed and stood up too quickly, stumbling slightly before rubbing his face. "Okay. Everything's going to be fine. Right. Okay. The baby is coming. It's happening. It's real. Oh my god. Okay. I need the hospital bag. I need to check if we have everything. Where is it? I swear to god if Jisung put it somewhere where we are never going to find it, I'll murder him. Actually, I think I'm gonna call him. Who was so stupid to give Jisung the hospital bag?! I should've known he would put it not on full display. I should have done it myself. Fuck. I'll-" you had watched the boyfriend freak out for a few moments, eyes wide in shock to see him in such a state. The last time he was so shaken, you had told him that he was going to be a dad. And now, his panic was clouding his mind while he ran through the bedroom, searching desperately for the bag as if it would be the most important thing in the world right now.

"Seungmin" you exclaimed loudly, trying to break him out of his trail of thoughts. But he didn't hear it, too focused on rummaging through your closet while mumbling something about murdering Jisung for putting the bag away. You rolled your eyes in annoyance. Fine. If he wanted it that way. Never anger a woman in labour, you thought, aiming a pillow at his head and throwing it with full force before another contraction consumed you.

The pillow perfectly hit the back of his head, making him turn around while you said his name again. "Calm down, Minnie. I'm okay. The baby's okay. So, calm the fuck down" you winced as you said that, leaning forward to put pressure on your belly. "Okay, maybe I'm not okay right now" you corrected in between.

Seungmin rushed to your side immeadiately, babbling sorrys and brushing your hair out of your face. "Sorry. I just panicked. What do you want to do? How far apart are the contractions?"

For the next two waves, he stopped the time, telling you that you were still in early labour if the information you had read in the pregnancy book was right. So, it was still too early for going to the hospital.

"Is there anything I can do to make this easier for you?" he asked softly, cupping your cheek as you leaned against him exhausted. This was going to be a long night. "Shower. My doctor said that water could help to soothe a bit of pain" you mumbled, letting Seungmin pull you up carefully and walked you slowly to the bathroom. The floor underneath your feet was cool, grounding you slightly.

You blinked as Seungmin turned on the light and the reflection in the mirror looked crazy. Your face was pale and puffy, your hair tangled from tossing in your sleep. You didn't look like someone about to bring a life into the world. You looked like someone who had no idea what was coming.

Then another contraction hit. Stronger. Sharper. You leaned forward and braced yourself against the sink with both hands, eyes squeezed shut. Your breathing turned shallow, shaky. When the wave passed, you pressed a hand to your mouth. Tears pricked at the corners of your eyes—not from pain, but from something deeper. From the overwhelming realization that there was no going back now.

This one was stronger than the last. You tensed and groaned softly, Seungmin's hands never leaving your back.

“Breathe,” he whispered. “You’re doing so good. Just breathe.” You tried. You really tried. But your heart was racing and your mind was crowded with questions. What if something goes wrong? When the pain eased, you sank back and looked at him, feeling a sudden sharp pain and water running down your legs, your (actually Seungmin's) shorts soaking up some of the liquid.

"Your water just broke" the black haired stated calmly, helping you out of the wet clothes and turned on the shower until the water was warm. The air turned warm and foggy as the water began to run. Slowly, he helped you into the shower, stepping inside behind you since he was afraif you would slip and fall whenever the next wave would hit.

You stepped under the stream, let it hit your skin and placed your hands on your belly. You were scared. Really scared.

Not just of the pain or the unknown, but of how everything was about to change. In a few hours—or maybe a day—you would no longer just be yourself. You would be someone's mother. And you didn’t feel ready. You didn’t feel brave.

Another contraction gripped you while you stood there, and this one made you cry out. In concers, Seungmin's hands found your waist, steadying you and calling out your name softly. "I'm okay" you exclaimed through gritted teeth even though you weren't sure if you were.

You pressed your forehead against the tile, breathing hard. Your hands curled into fists. You had never felt so vulnerable. So breakable. But beneath the fear, deep down, there was something else. Something solid. You didn’t know what it was yet—maybe instinct, maybe determination—but it was there. Quiet, steady, waiting.

The shower helped for a while as the warm water dulled the sharpest edges of the pain and gave you something else to focus on.But as the contractions grew closer - five minutes apart and then four - they took over. It became harder to speak, each wave tiring you out more and more. It got harder to stay upright, to focus on Seungmin's fingers dancing over your skin to relieve at leat a bit of discomfort. Pretending to be alright, to be not absolutely terrified was almost impossible as each cramp felt like someone was ripping your insides out.

By 6:20 am, you both made the decision to finally drive to the hospital. Seungmin quickly grabbed your hospital bag which he had found almost immeadiately after he calmed down. Gently, he helped you into new clothes before redressing himself as well, slipping your feet into some slippers. You didn't say much in the car as you gripped the handle above the door with one hand and Seungmin's hand in the other, breathing through another wave of pressure that made your eyes water. The streetlights were turning off now, daylight filtering through the clouds in soft beams. Every bump in the road felt amplified, every red light a personal insult.

Every now and then, Seungmin glanced at you in worry, knuckles white on the steering wheel. "You're okay?" he asked after each contraction, not complaining once about the tight grip you had on his hand. "No" you pressed out in honesty. "But don't you dare stop driving" the black haired nodded, giving more gas.

The drive felt longer than it ever had been. The seconds just wouldn't pass. After what felt like an hour, you reached the hospital and at the entrance, you were sat into a wheelchair, rolling you through the endless corridors. Finally, the elevator door opened, letting you into the labour and delivery floor. It smelled clean, too clean, making you scrunch your nose. With quick strides, Seungmin pushed you into an empty room, following the nurse who then helped you change into a gown and then attached a monitor to your stomach, tight and cold.

"It's messing your contractions and the child's heart rate" she explained with a kind smile. You nodded, sinking your head back into the cushion in exhaustion. You groaned as you rid out another contraction that felt like it was carving you open. "Can you tell me how far apart the contractions are?" the nurse turned to Seungmin who sat down in the chair right next to the bed, taking your hand mindlessly in his.

"Four minutes" he answered, brushing his thumb over yours. Another nurse checked your cervix, nodding satified while noting that you're six centimetres dialated. "Your progressing nicely" she exclaimed happily, leaving the room to give Seungmin and you some privacy.

You rolled your eyes. "Progressing nicely my ass. It hurts like hell" you mocked in a high pitched voice, making the black haired snort. "Be nice, Y/n. She only wants to help."

"I know. But nicely isn't that what I would describe this" you retorted before pressing your head back. Each wave of pain felt like a tidal wace, crashing through you, flattening every thought in your mind, every bit of control.

It was a pain beyonf anything you could have prepared for. You weren't an idiot. You knew very well that labour would hurt. But this was a whole new level. It came from the core of you, absolute and shaking every fibre of your body. Seungmin rubbed soothingly over your belly and whispered encouragements into your ear.

“You’re doing so well,” he said softly as you clutched the sheats tightly through another contraction. “He's almost here. I’ve got you.”

"You are doing amazing, my love." You wanted to believe him, you really wanted but the pain was overtaking you. They came hard and close now, relentless, like your body was trying to split in two. It was so overwhelming and you pressed your face into his neck to escape the pain and wailed.

"I can't do this, Minnie" you gasped in between sobs. "I just can't. It's too much" Seungmin hummed, trying to stay calm on the outside while everything within him was walking through hell with you. Seeing you in such pain, made his heart clench in concern. He felt so helpless. He couldn't do anthing except sitting there and watch you contort. Never in his life he had felt that way and he never again wanted to feel like this.

He cooed affectionately, brushing your hair out of your face with slightly trembling fingers. "You are doing it. Every second, you are getting closer to bringing our beanie into our arms. I'm right here, my love. You don't have to do this alone"

Time passed in slow waves, the room quietened and you somehow drifted in and out of sleep. Nurses came in to check your dilation every now and then, adjusting the monitore. Slowly, you felt the pressure increase, the baby moving lower.

It was alomst 10 am when you were finally fully dilated and ready to have your baby, at least that was what you told yourself. "It's time to push, Mama" the doctor said, glancing up with a kind smile. Seungmin helped you adjust your position and pressed a kiss on your slightly sweaty forehead. "I'm here, my love. Look at me. You can do this" with his encouragement, you started to push, holding his hands for comfort.

He didn't complain when with every push, your grip tightened around his fingers, pressing the blood out of them and he was sure that they will be broken afterwards. But that was okay because you were in much more pain right now.

The pressure was immense, like trying to move a mountain with bare hands. Your whole body shook as sewat rolled down your templed, your face contorted with the effort. You groaned, cried out and sobbed. your boyfriend never let go of your hand, he counted with you, breathed with you like you had been taught.

After the first few pushes, you said it again: “I can’t do it. It hurts too much.”

“Yes, you can,” he said, leaning close, his forehead pressed to yours. “You’re the strongest person I’ve ever known. You’re doing something incredible. Just one push at a time.”

The nurse’s voice joined his. “You’re doing beautifully. Baby’s almost here.” Then, the pain doubled, no tripled. The dull pain changing to a ring of fire - sharp, burning and undeniable. You cried out, pushed harder than you thought was possible and felt your body tear. And then-

Relief. A tiny gasp filled the room. Then a louder cry. You took a deep breath, everything falling off your chest as you glanced down, dazed, exhausted and shaking.

Your baby was here. Your son. Your little bean. Your Jongwoo. He was finally here after nine months - red, perfect and alive. He was crying loudly, letting your take a deep breathe as the concern fell off your shoulders. A crying baby was a healthy baby. Carefully, the nurse laid him on your bare chest, slick and squirming and warm.

You couldn't tear your gaze away from him. Not for a second, afraid that he could disappear. Your hands cradled his fragile body as you cooed at him between happy sobs. Seungmin pressed a hand on his mouth to stop the cry from forming, his eyes were wet and he reached for you and your little bean. Protectively, he folded his arms around you both, around his family.

"You did it" he whispered, voice cracking with the weight of emotions. "He's perfect. He's so perfect" The baby squirmed against her skin, letting out a soft little cry before settling, his heartbeat fluttering fast beneath his little ribs. He was so small, so impossibly real. The nurse cleaned you and the baby gently. All of the pain faded, none of that mattered now anymore like a dream being pulled underwater.

The three of you, a family and together.

──────── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ────────

author's note: Who remembers where the insider "redemption through pasta" comes from? Anyways, thank you so much for reading this series! Seriously, this might be my favourite mini series overall because I had so much fun writing it and I was actually very satisfied with my writings which never happened before. I never thought that such a small idea I had randomly will turn into a mini series <3 but I'm really sad that this is the final part.

taglist:

@sammhisphere @staytinyarmy @cherrycat-h @nightmarenyxx @hhwangsmoon @xx-all-purpose-nerd-xx @hunnybunny05 @lynastrawberry @gabriellamarie @leeknowsimpstay @lilbugthings @blushnboba @kexiksexik @st4rv3lly @namgyusleftpinkytoe @shadowhuntersathene @moony-mari @babyvinnie @queenbwldrf @coqueteyou23 @mbioooo0000 @vernorica123 <3

[desi2go]

Where our futures split

pairing: idol!Seungmin x reader

warnings: angst no comfort, lying, cheating, argument, first love

request: yes, @vernorica123

You and Seungmin had always been together. Always. In kindergarden, he was the one that helped you up at only two years old when you hurt your knee. He was the one that plucked the only blooming flower from the entire flowerbed to present and give it to you at only four years old.

Your mother had always said that you two were meant for each other, and strangely, even though you at an age where you didn't even know what real love really was besides from your parents, you both acted like you were indeed in love.

In highschool Seungmin finally, after years and years of having the biggest crush on you, asked you for prom. Not just like a best friend date, but a real one. A real one that finally crossed the line between friendship and love.

Some said, including both of your moms, that it was destiny. It never was just a friendship between you. Even in primary school, Seungmin sticked close to you, claiming more than once that you will be his future wife. Most people took it with laughter, patting little Seungmin on the head and ignoring the stoic look on his face.

It would be a lie if you claimed that you hadn't felt the same for him. As you slowly got into an age where boys got more interesting and your friends fought in school about who was the hottest celebrity, you silently looked over to Seungmin who joked around with his boys.

You weren't interested in some celebrity. Not when you had the man of your dreams right in front of your eyes.

Finding out that you both had a huge crush on eachother was hard. Somehow, the other one never seemed to realise that their was more to their actions. Like in an endless loop, you both had danced around eachother, crying to your friends about how you never had a chance when the other only looked at a different person.

Crazy right?

It took Seungmin the whole four years of highschool to catch you speaking with friends about your crush. Four fucking years he already could have spent with you.

At first he even thought that you were speaking about another classmate as you pushed about his cute personality. He was already turning away, deciding that he had heard enough and the pain in his chest was terrible as it was.

His friend stopped him, pulling him backwards again so that he could hear the name. The name you had been loving for years now.

He was shocked when he realised that it was his name. That you had voiced Seungmin. Not the name of another boy. No, Seungmin, your best friend for years.

From this day on, he planned how to ask you. And he did. He had bought a bouquet with your favourite flowers and stood in front of your house, his hands shaking with anxieties. When you opened the door, you were confused and surprised but excited nonetheless. Without thinking you happily agreed to go to prom with him.

It was needless to say that Seungmin was your first love. Your first everything. With him, you had experienced your first kiss, your first intimacy. You had learned what it meant to love somebody so much.

People always say that the first love often doesn't last long. That the first love was something to learn from for your following relationships. But with Seungmin? Seungmin was your first love but also so much more. In short, he was your person, someone you can grow old with.

When he auditioned for being an Idol, you supported him even though the training was hard and you couldn't see each other so often.

"Thank you for staying with me. You're my anchor" he often said, pressing a feather light kiss to your forehead. And you were.

You were already together for five years. In those years you had accostomed your schedule and work to him, to his life as a member of Stray Kids. And you did that in love. You loved to support him, to travel with him whenever he needed to be away for a longer period of time. During most concerts, you stood backstage or in the crowd, watching with hearts in your eyes how he gave his best for his fans, for you.

The other boys developed to your family, to best friends you loved so much.

That's why you were heart broken when you couldn't go with them to their next tour. You work needed you here, in korea. Present and not just over facetime like you had managed before. With a heavy heart, you had said goodbye to Seungmin at the airport. Hugging him tight and kissing him like you were never seeing him again. It's going to be the longest time you were seperated from him since you had been best friends.

You both had promised to update the other one regularly, to call on a daily basis.

The first months flew by with Seungmin calling you in the night, telling you about the concert and what they all had seen in the country. He recounted the funny stories and stayed until you had fallen asleep to his calming voice.

Over time, as the tour was slowly coming to an end, you noticed how Seungmin slowly pulled away. The phone calls got lesser and lesser. You didn't even notice at first, the withdrawel came gradually. You thought that it was because of the exhaustion. You knew how stressful and exhausting the concert were. 3,5 hours of constant singing, acting and dancing had its toll on your boyfriend.

So, you chose to give him the time and the sleep.

You were all the happier when it was finally time to see him again. Waiting at the airport was hard, you desperately wanted to see Seungmin again, to hug him, to kiss him, to feel him again. As soon as you saw your boyfriend, you darted to him, crashing into his arms.

He laughed, circling your waist with his arms and pressing a kiss to your forehead. "Hello Minnie" you whispered into your ear and he hummed in delight. As you leaned back to give him a kiss on the lips, something else flickered in his eyes and he hesitated before he gave you a small peck.

Frowning, you judged him, having expected a far more passionate kiss after being seperated for so long. "How are you, Minnie? Everything alright?" you asked him with a smile.

"Yes. I'm so happy to be with you again." he replied with a lovely smirk. Yeah, he was just tired, you assumed. The tour must have cost a lot of energy.

But somehow it felt different. Like something had changed in the time he was away.

At home, he was more quiet, more to himself. He seemed to be a lot more in his own world, busy with his thoughts. And you let him, offering him support and cuddles even though he seemed to hesitate when he let himself fall into your embrace.

After the three days off, he additionally seemed to be in delight to get back to work. Their schedules were already full again with interviews, vocal lessons and dance practise for their next comeback.

You felt unsure why he was acting like that. So withdrawn. As if it hurt him to be in the same room, even the same apartment as you.

"I'm so glad they all are back. These past months were so lonely without my favourite chaos group" you giggled, nudging the arm of Felix's girlfriend as she sat down on your couch. You and her had been friends since the sunny boy had introduced her to the group one year ago and you and the other member's girlfriends quickly took her into your friendgroup. You all were pretty close to each other, given how much time your boyfriends spend together.

Speaking of your boyfriend, Seungmin was at the company despite it being the only afternoon they had gotten off.

"Oh my god, you can't believe how cute it was when my Lixie opened our apartment door after he came from the airport and was already crying. At first I thought he was hurt but he was just so emotional and happy to see me" she gushed, a big smile on her lips. "He even used me as a backpack, glueing himself to my back for the rest of the evening. My little koala"

"How adorable" you agreed, feeling your heart ache. Before, your relationship with Seungmin was like that too. Whenever he had been away for only a couple of days, he was glued to your side afterwards even though he wasn't so much into physical touch.

You sighed, brushing through your hair as you thought how you could approach the topic.

"Okay, what's wrong. Seriously, if you keep sighing like that I'm going to think you have a heart attack or someone died"

"I don't know if I'm wrong but Seungmin is acting weird since the tour. Am I imagining things? Did something happen?" you put your head on her shoulder to seek comfort, comfort that seemed impossible to get from your actual boyfriend nowadays.

She paused for a second, thinking back to what Felix had told her. "Well, Lixie said that Seungmin seemed to be a bit distant at th end. But nothing more."

"He didn't seem unsatisfied with our relationship?" you questioned, voice thin and barely noticable.

Felix's girlfriend scoffed. "Why should he? Seriously, he has the perfect girlfriend." she argued.

"Thank you. I'm just so anxious that something has changed over the period. Maybe he's slowly falling out of love" you mumbled, hiding in her soft sweater.

"Falling out of love? Come on, Y/n, that guy is head over heels for you. Everyone sees it." she patted your head. "Seriously, I'm jealous about what you two have"

"You have a perfect relationship with Felix" you claimed. "Yes, of course. I love every I spent with him. But you and Seungmin have such a deep connection, something that can only develop when having known each other for a very long time."

"Give him time. Maybe he just needs some time to himself after being constantly with people all tour" she suggested and you nodded, thinking how you could do just that.

And you did, you did give him time. Time to pick up his daily life again, his routine. It had been over a month since he came back. A month where kisses were a rarity, hugs were stiff and intimacy wasn't even a topic.

The other girlfriends had tried to cheer you up but whenever they gushed about a sweet gesture their boyfriends had done in your group chat, your heart broke. You missed him, missed the shared nights when you two would just watch a movie together, his hand playing with yours or his head in your lap. You missed the small little dates he would arrange.

"Let's organize a small little dinner with the boys! They have a late schedule today and I know that they don't have the time to eat before that." Changbin's girlfriend exclaimed as you all had a group phone call. You hummed at the idea. Maybe this was a great idea.

Seungmin had slept in the dorms for the last days since his dance practises were running late and he didn't want to wake you up in the middle of the night.

"Yes! How about we all get takeout together and surprise them?" Chan's wife suggested, already looking up some good restaurants.

"Great! I'll buy snacks" Jisung's love mumbled, loving small snacks just as much as her boyfriend did.

After getting the takeout, you all walked together to the practise room where the boys should be. The conversations were light and filled with laughter, everybody happy to see their significant other. And you could actually forget the stormy cloud that seemed to be hanging over your own relationship. The door to the practise room was standing slightly open but the music had already died down, telling you all that practise was already over.

As you got closer, their voices grew louder, more audible.

"What did you do?" you could hear Chan's voice thundering through the room, showing his disbelief.

"It was a mistake, I promise!" your boyfriend yelled, voice breaking in the middle.

"A mistake? How can you forget to be in a relationship? Seriously, what a dumb excuse" Hyunjin exclaimed, you could see him rolling his eyes through the window. His words only making your heart beat faster in anxiety. What the hell were they talking about?

Their conversation had you all stopping in your tracks, curious to find out what mistake Seungmin made.

"I know it's all a huge mess! That day, I was so lonely and stayed at the hotel's bar. I know it was careless that I even spoke to the woman. It just happened." Seungmin wiped his hand over his face in shame, his shoulders sagging.

You gasped, clenching the food bag in your seaty hands. Felix's girlfriend hugged you from behind to give you at least some comfort.

"You were lonely?! Are you for real?! You decided that putting your dick in another woman would heal your yearning for Y/n?!" Minho yelled, causing Seungmin to flinch at the intensity. Their eyes all shot to the door as you entered, letting the bag of food fall onto the floor.

Seungmin had cheated on you. Cheated.

After that sound it was like hell broke loose. All the girlfriends circled around you, hugging you tight as the door was pushed forcefully open, revealing a panicked Seungmin with wide eyes.

"Y/n" he yelped trying to push through the seven women that stood in his way. "Y/n, please!"

A mix of emotions cursed through your body. Frustration, sadness, disbelief and disappointment. But there was also the extreme anger that flodded your veins. Your heart was truly broken, only pieces.

As tears were blurring your vision, you concentrated on the anger. You couldn't believe he had done this. Cheating. He cheated on you.

You took a deep breath, deciding that it was better to give him a piece of your mind now and end this shitshow.

With clenched fists, your fingernails drilling into your flesh, you ushered the girls out of the practise room. "Out" you mumbled, quiet at first. "Out!" you yelled while pointing to the door, fighting the tears that are threatening to fall. Quickly, the other members followed their girlfriends until you and your supposed to be boyfriend were alone and the door clicked shut.

"Y/n, I-" he exclaimed breathless, trying to get to you with quick strides but you pushed him off of you.

"Stop it, Seungmin. Just stop it" you replied, anger showing in your voice. You wiped your hands over your your tired eyes. "Oh my god. I can't believe it"

"Y/n. I'm so sorry I-" his voice was gentle as if he was trying to soothe you.

"Seungmin! You cheated for god's sake!" you yelled. It was the first time you had ever raised your voice at him. In the small fights you had, you were the calmness in person, never loud, never really agitated. But it all didn't seemed to matter to you anymore.

"You cheated." your voice resonated. Never in your entire life you would have guessed that he would betray you. Never. He was a cheater. Since his childhood he had dismissed the person's who cheated on their significant other. He had joked about them, claiming that he would never even think about betraying the person he loved.

Ironic, isn't it?

Because now, here he was. A cheater and a liar.

"I'm so sorry, Y/n" he tried again desperately. "You need to believe me." his fingers clasped around yours but you pulled away immeadiately. Pain was written all over his face.

"You are sorry? Seungmin you not only cheated. You lied to me" you argued, rolling your eyes. "For how long?"

"What?" he asked, voice trembling.

"For how long have you been lying to me?" your voice grew more agitated.

"Almost two months" he stuttered, turning his eyes away from you in shame. You pressed your hand in front of your mouth to stop the sob from escaping. You couldn't break right now, not when you needed to solve this.

"Funny, and I though you just needed some time to settle in again" you felt utterly betrayed. Were you just a joke to him?

"Y/n, please, I'm so sorry. I never meant for it to happen"

"And yet it did" you exclaimed bitterly. "Am I some joke to you, Seungmin?"

He knitted his eyebrows, vehemently shaking his head. "No! Of course not! i love you, Y/n. You need to believe me. You are my person. The person I want to spend my whole lifetime with. I love you, so much" he exclaimed, voice thick with shame and guilt.

"And yet you chose to let another woman warm your bed. And yet you chose to stab me in the back. And yet you let me in the belief that everything was fine. If you were really lonely, you would have called me! You would have found a way to be with me, and yet, you chose the easiest option." you screamed, voice trembling from all the emotion. Your heart bled, the knife he had stabbed through your heart twisting and turning, leaving you out of breath.

"It was a mistake. I'm never going to do that again, I promise." he whispered, his own eyes filled with thick tears and regret.

"It was indeed a mistake. And honestly, I don't care if you are going to do that again or not. Because it's over, Seungmin" you replied, voice cold and your eyes boring into his wailing form.

"What? Y/n, please! Give me another chance. I can't live without you. You can't leave" he panicked, throwing himself at you but you dodged him.

"No." you exclaimed. "I spent over five years supporting every little decision you made. I even applied for this job to be with you as much as possible. And when I couldn't come with you for once, you cheated on me."

"Congratulations, Seungmin. You are a cheater. You just became that what you never wanted to be. You let this relationship die the moment you touched that other woman." you laughed bitterly.

Thick tears rolled over Seungmin's face as he realised that he couldn't save this relationship, that he couldn't change your decision. And the worst of it all? He would have acted the same if you were the one cheating. God, he would have exploded.

"Y/n" he whispered, barely even noticable, his own heart breaking.

You turned around, your chest clenching as you turned your back to the person you loved so much it hurt. Yourself fought with the tears. But you needed to end it. Otherwise you would never be able to trust him fully again.

"Don't come home tonight. You aren't welcome there anymore. Please ask another member to pick up your clothes." you mumbled, shoulder sagged and heavy through the latest discovery.

As you held the doorknob in your hands, you looked back. You looked back into the past because that was what he is. The past. Your past. Your home.

"Goodbye Seungmin. I hope you find your true love" you exclaimed through tears, now not even fighting them as you exited the practise room. The other members stood in front of the room, all together with their girlfriends who hugged you dearly. Damn, you loved this group. They were your family. And now, this family was being ripped from you. You could never attend dance practise anymore or dinners because Seungmin would always be there with them.

"I'm so sorry, Y/n" Chan apologised, bowing his head as he gave you a comforting hug. "I didn't know he did that. I just found out"

You sighed, wiping the tears from your face. "I know. And I'm not mad at any of you, okay? You are great friends and you aren't responsible for the mistakes he makes. It's just his fault that it ended like this" you patted his arm.

"Please, don't be so harsh to him. I think he is already blaming himself enough. He can't change what he did in the past and he is beating himself up for it" you looked at each member individually.

"Please tell him that I want him to move on. He shouldn't be sticking to a love that's over and in the past" With that, you moved again. You feet taking you down the hall and into the elevator. Away from the people you loved and cherished. Away from your true love, your first love that would forever hold a special place in your heart.

But that was now the past and not the future like you had hoped.

[desi2go]

Guess who saw Stray Kids?!

A little over a year after the BST Hyde Park Festival (14.07.2024), I saw my boys again!

They rocked the stadium. Chan did his best to entertain us with jokes in between songs and overall, the boys were on fire!❤️🖤

And now that the concert is finally over and I'm on my way back home, the post concert depressions are kicking hard. If I'm honest, as soon as I heard the last songs, the depressions were already there 🫶🏼

It was so worth it. Since Chan is my bias, I need to say that he looked gorgeous with his longer hair. But all of the boys looked great (and bias wrecked me🙈😂). Their solo songs were on fire and it was so great hearing them live. While Truman, Escape and Burning Tires had me jumping up and down, Cinema absolutely made me cry. I think, I'll forever associate this song with the concert🖤❤️

Here's a video from the end where they said goodbye to us. I couldn't keep it from you since it's so cute 🥰

[desi2go]

Impossibly charming

pairing: idol!Seungmin x fan!reader

warnings: concert au!, love at first sight, Smit, unprotected sex, fluff

request: yes, @seungminfearsme

author's note: I may or may not have been a little bit delusional as I wrote this😅 but I hope you like it either way 🫶🏼

──────── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ────────

Since you were a child, you had a big interest in music. Your mother always told you that even in her belly, you grew active whenever some sort of music was played. And even after birth, the music calmed you down at night. As a child, you had problems falling asleep and the short little music that came from a small little speaker inside of your favourite toy, always soothed you.

So, you could say that music had always been a part of your life. Sadly, you didn't show any talent for singing and dancing yourself but that didn't meant that your life wasn't filled with rhythm and lyrics.

No, your day started with the music of your alarm clock and ended with some sort of musical while spreading your form over your couch.

Another big part of your life were concerts. Since your parents had taken you to your first concert, you absolutely loved it. Meeting new people with the same interests, yelling the lyrics together with the singer, clapping your hands to the best and laughing at the singer's jokes in between songs.

You went to many concerts from different groups, including Stray kids, a group that you had really grown fond of in the last four years. And you were thrilled to get tickets for their next concert in your country.

Together with your best friend, you prepared different kinds of freebies. Hours over hours, you created little keychains and bracelets to give them to other fans. Weeks prior you planned your outfit.

And then, the moment came. With some merch in your one hand and the lightstick in the other, you were glad to get to the barricade at the center of the stage, waiting for the soundcheck to begin.

As the eight members appeared, you jumped up and down, cheering just like the people around you. Now, the members were still dressed normally in plain shirts and hoodies but looked stunning anyways. It wasn't the first time you saw them, being to their previous tour too. But now, this was the first time ever to have a VIP ticket and barricade on top of it.

The day couldn't start better. Singing along to their iconic songs and humming along the melody, you interacted with Hyunjin, creating half a heart while he added the missing half.

You played a round of rock paper scissors with Han, pumping your fist into the air when you beat him after three rounds.

You loved all of them. They somehow became a safe place for you, something to come to when you felt sad or frustrated. You loved their individual character traits and manners. But one specific member, your bias, had claimed your heart the most.

And this, this was Seungmin. As a part of vocal racha, he enchanted you with his powerful voice that sounded like an angel. Having tried singing yourself, you knew how hard it could be to hold such high notes and he definitely does that while looking like it was effortless and easy.

Listening to his solo song 'as we are' always brought tears into your eyes, being wholly consumed by his angelic voice and hoe tenderly he emphasised every single word.

Together with his sometimes playful and teasing character, he stole your heart pretty quickly. And you wouldn't want it any other way.

And when Seungmin came into your direction for the first time, stopping right in front of you to sing his lines in 'Social Path', you smiled brightly and waved at him. He seemed to notice you and winked back with a smirk, seemingly pleased that you wore a headband with the head of PuppyM pinned to it along with a self-made jacket that you had bedazzled with little crystals that formed the stray kids logo and a little PuppyM. The fans around you erupted into cheers and yells, loving the interaction with the idol.

But sadly, he slowly strolled away to the left, leaving you staring at his back, wishing that he would have spent more time in front of you.

After the few songs they played for the soundcheck, all eight members said goodbye to prepare themselves for the actual concert, leaving the stage.

♬♬♬

"Despite the warm weather, our Stays are really hyped" Felix commented with a grin as soon as he was backstage, dapping the sweat from his neck with a towel.

"Yes" Jeongin added, wiggling his eyebrows at Chan. "Did you see the sign with 'Chris, can you please pin me up against the wall?'"

Changbin giggled, nodding that he saw the sign too. "Our fans definitely need to touch some grass"

"what about you, Seungmin? You are quieter than normal." Hyunjin pointed out, throwing an arm around his shoulder.

"Nothing. But I actually loved the outfit of that one Stay at the barricade with the cool jacket."

"The one with your skzoo headband?" Minho asked, sawing you himself too.

"Damn she looked cute" Jeongin teased, nudging Seungmin forward while Felix and Changbin giggled, slipping the in-ears out of their ears.

"Maybe you should try your luck. We're here another three days" Jisung suggested, shrugging his shoulders. "I bet you are her bias"

"Wasn't that obvious?" Changbin snorted, earning an eye roll from Seungmin. Chan poked his side with his finger. "Maybe you can try to impress her during the concert. Make her blush, you know?"

"Just like you do every single concert, Mr. Half naked man?" Seungmin replied, giving his mic to a staff member with a thankful nod.

"Well, you could show some abs too, you know? Only for her" Jisung snorted, brushing his tight fitting, black t-shirt up while Felix stood before him, gasping and squealing, imitating their fans as soon as a member showed some skin.

Seungmin rolled his eyes again. "You're insufferable" he groaned, massaging his forehead.

"I would call it 'supportive' " Jeongin claimed, entering their dress room first. Despite his fellow members bickering, Seungmin knew that they were right. He could rizz you up a little bit. It wouldn't hurt, would it?

Plus, it had been long since he had shown such interest in a fan. Maybe it was just your outfit or even your lovely aura. But if he was honest, he kinda wanted to know you better.

♬♬♬

After the short pause in between the soundcheck and the actual beginning of the concert which you spent sitting on the floor, fighting to hold your place at barricade, you were glad when the well-known intro filled the stadium. You sprung up, ignoring your burning throat from the lack of water.

The warmth was terrible when you stood in such a huge mass of people, bodies pressing together to see the idols. It was a mass but as soon as the members arrived on the stage again, all of that was washed away, unimportant.

Everybody vibed as they performed their first few songs, singing along and dancing in the tiny space you had.

Then, they introduced themselves and bowed before continuing with the next few songs. From time to time, the members walked around, interacting with the fans and messing around.

You laughed as Changbin was splashed with water by Seungmin and how the younger quickly trotted away, being chased by the muscular idol. Jeongin came over to you, waving at you and smiling brightly.

From time to time all the members stopped right in front of you, observing you while dancing and singing and you were buzzing with excitement. But you asked yourself why they all stared at you like that, most of them even smirking like they knew something you don't.

Nervously, you checked your hair and outfit, thinking that maybe something wasn't in place or you looked weird. But no, actually, you thought, you looked pretty decent.

As the concert slowly came to an end, the members did their last outfit change where their skzoos were pinned to their pullovers and trousers. While they played one of their most beautiful songs 'Stray Kids', in your opinion, you fought to keep the tears in.

This song meant everything to you. This song symbolised them and their path to how they are now. It was a throwback to their beginning and a promise at the same time. A promise that they won't stop making music together.

Seungmin plopped down in front of you, smiling at you brightly. His feet dangled in the air, swaying from left to right as he hummed to the melody.

With one sneaky look to the security man,he jumped from the stage,landing right in front of you. Just then,you noticed the water bottles in his hands that he gave out to the fans around you.

You reached out for a bottle too, successfully getting one. As your fingers touched, you froze, a blush forming on your cheeks, feeling the warmth that radiated from his skin. Smirking, he winked at you again before letting the bottle go.

Thirsty, you opened it and enjoyed the feeling of the cooling water in your throat, sore from all the screaming.

Seubgmin was just centimeters away when his part came up and you heard his voice loud and clear, filling the air of the stadium. A chill ran over your spine at how angelic his voice sounded. If he hadn't been your bias before, he sure would be now.

After letting the microphone fall from his lips, he came even closer, holding the hands of several stays before coming up to you.

"I LOVE YOUR OUTFIT" he yelled over the loud music, looking up and down your body.

"Thank you!" You exclaimed, bowing your head. His hands fiddled with the small skzoo on his shirt until he had opened the safety pin. Then, he carefully pinned it on your jacket.

"Now the look is completed" he nodded proudly and winked at you one last time before climbing the stage again.

Adrenaline rushed through your veins as you clutched the small plushie tightly in your hands. You couldn't believe what had happened. The Kim Seungmin from Stray kids had given you his accessory. Oh you couldn't be happier.

The last songs ended faster than you wished and then it was time to say goodbye. Your post concert depression were already there, even though you hadn't left the stadium yet.

The last few hours had passed in a blur, too fast for your liking. You would give everything to rewind time to experience it all over again. It almost felt like the concert had never taken place.

Tightly, you clutched the PuppyM in your hand that was still safely pinned to the front of your jacket. This was a reminder that the concert was real. That Seubgmin really stood in front of you, alive and in colour. A reminder that he really gave you his plushie from all of the stays that were there. It was you who he had chosen.

The walk to your apartment was short, luckily, you didn't need to travel too long to get to the stadium. A benefit when you studied in one of the biggest cities in your country.

After all the adrenaline washed away, you felt how exhausting you were. The hot weather and the mass of people had its toll on you.

Slowly, you peeled yourself out of your jacket, carefully hanging it on a rack to not damage the work you had done on it. Smiling, you traced the plushie and unpinning it from the jacket. It would be a waste of the plushie would stay in your closet along with your jacket, you thought.

As you freed it, you noticed a small note that was tucked against the plushie. Your heartbeat picked up when you unfolded the piece of paper. A small note was written on it in a cursive and slightly sloppy handwriting.

You looked stunning tonight. You were literally glowing. I would like to get to get to know you. Here's my number

- S.

Your heart stopped at those words. Over and over again, you read those line, trying to figure out if this was a joke or not. Who had written this? It had been pinned to Seungmin's clothes, so, it must be him, right?

This couldn't be true. There's no way. He wouldn't, would he? Is he even allowed to? But it must be him. He himself had given you this accessory. So, the mysterious S. stood for Seungmin.

And the biggest question was what will you do? Should you write him? Shouldn't you? Was it all a trap and he will make fun of you for being delusional? You didn't know.

You had memorized every word by now with the amount of times you had read this little snippet.

Tightly, you clutched the paper in your one hand and your phone in the other. Fuck it, you thought. If you didn't text him right now, you would always ask you what if. So, don't overthink it, just write, you considered.

Y/n: Hi, here's Y/n. I got your number from the piece of paper that was pinned to the PuppyM.

Seungmin: Hey! Nice to meet you! I'm Seungmin but I think you already figured that out! Anyways, you looked absolutely beautiful in that jacket and with your cute headband.

Y/n: Thank you. You were incredible on stage. I love your voice Seungmin: I'm glad to hear that. Anyways, I noticed you from the beginning and I knew I needed to get to know you. So, are you free for a walk maybe? Y/n: You mean as a date? Seungmin: Yes, as a date. I know it's already pretty late but tomorrow is another concert and I sadly don't have any time until midnight. Y/n: I can't believe you just asked me out on a date. Seungmin: Why not? You're very pretty and have an even better personality as it seems. Y/n: Thank you. Wanna meet at 11 pm in the park? Seungmin: Sounds perfect. I'm just going to tell the boys where I am going so they don't search for me. And then,I'll be on my way.

Your hands were sweaty and your heat beat at a thousand miles per hour. Could someone pinch you please? To check if that conversation had been real. You had a date. And not just with anyone. No, with Seungmin, the famous idol with the angelic voice.

How could you be that lucky? A smile spread over your lips, wide and bright. Then, the anxiety of being close to your bias crashed over you. You had ten minutes to get ready. Ten minutes. That wasn't enough time, not at all.

Quickly, you staggered through your apartment. Reapplying your make up and choosing a perfume you hoped he would like.

You tucked your hair in a loose bun, choosing to wear the jacket again since he liked it so much. Carefully, you pinned the plushie back in place like a talisman. You were sure you had just broken a record for the fastest getting ready for a date.

With long strides you left your apartment, circling your body with your own hands to keep your warm. The temperatures had dropped drastically and you cursed yourself for not choosing a thicker coat.

But as you reached the park,you already saw a figure standing on the way, tipping on his phone. When he heard you getting closer, he lifted his face, revealing a black haired man that was hiding his face behind a mask for privacy. Although his lips were covered, you saw at the way his skin around his eyes crinkled that he smiled widely, quickly putting his phone into his pocket to give you his full attention. Damn was he beautiful, even in the dim lighting.

"Y/n, nice to see you again" he greeted you while laying his head to the side like a curious puppy. "And I see you still wear my plushie"

"How couldn't I? You completed my outfit" you giggled, picking up the phrase from the concert.

"You're right. I did" he commented proudly, nudging you to walk beside you through the park. His presence was calm and soothing, like the moonlight that illuminated your bodies in a soft silver.

"At first I wasn't sure if this wasn't a joke" you replied, pushing a loose hair behind your ear.

Seungmin chuckled. "I bet. I wouldn't have reacted any other way. But I couldn't just do nothing." He answered, looked at you with a fond smile.

"You looked so beautiful and the boys nudged me to give you my number. And I'm glad that I did." He smirked, looking down at you.

"The boys nudged you?"

Seungmin giggled and despite the low light you could see how his ears turned red. "Yeah. As soon as they saw how 'smitten I looked', they organised a pen and this small snippet. Who knows where the hell they found that" he emphasised his words with his hands.

"Well, I'm glad you did" you murmured, more to yourself than to him. But he nodded. "Yes, I am too. They can be annoying but they sometimes have good ideas." He commented, earning a chuckle from you.

For a moment, you two walked in silence, side by side. It wasn't uncomfortable, not at all. You felt like you had known him already for a long time. Well, you had but not the real person, just his idol version. But you weren't disappointed with his real personality, not at all. He seemed calm, understanding and observing. Not mean or cold like some fake fans declared.

"So, I'm your bias huh?" He wiggled with his eyebrows.

You snorted. "Is it that obvious?" You teased, brushing over the soft plushie on your jacket.

"Maybe a little bit" he replied playfully, showing the amount with his thumb and index finger.

"Damn, I should have hidden it better"

He laughed wholeheartedly. "No, I like it. Feeds my ego, you know?"

"As if you need to boost your ego" you giggled, poking his arm with your finger.

"Well, it never hurts" he shrugged his shoulders. You rolled your eyes in played annoyance but a smirk was still on your lips.

Despite that being your first real meeting you somehow felt like he understood you. For you, he wasn't just an idol anymore you had a little crush on just because he could sing, dance and, on top of that, looked extraordinary well. No, now you caught a glimpse of the person behind the facade and you liked it so far. Even more than his stage presence.

As you had walked here, you were nervous, anxious even. You had thought that he would still act like an idol. If you were honest, you didn't know what to expect. But certainly not a person - not someone who opened up so quickly to a stranger.

Someone, who could leak so many information now. Like his phone number. Despite how little he had known you at the concert, he still gifted you his number, trusted you even though you were sure that, as an idol, he surely had experienced the opposite. That his trust was met with the hunger of fame and ignorance.

♬♬♬

"Thank you for spending time with me even though we couldn't do much" he said as he had safely brought you back to your apartment complex. Despite your bickering that you could walk alone because his hotel was in the opposite direction, he didn't budge. And so, you had shown him around on your way to your apartment. Just a few hints and secrets that most tourists won't see.

"This is a great restaurant. So small and owned by a young couple who just graduated. But they can cook the best meat" you had informed him, pointing at a house that was decorated with lanterns.

"It's alright. I enjoyed just walking and talking with you" you replied,pushing a hair strand behind your ear. You two were already standing in front of the door, the unstoppable farewell hung over you both like a rain cloud.

"Me too. I'll definitely try the restaurant with the boys tomorrow" he nodded with a smile. His hand that had circled your waist in prior in oder to keep you warm against the cool wind, slipped to your hip in a gentle manner. His touch was light like a feather.

"I'm sure they'll like it" you mused, having learnt so much about all the group members.

"Good night, Y/n" he whispered, hand caressing your side up and down, creating goosebumps on your skin.

"Good night, Seungmin" you answered with the same gentleness. Your eyes have been locked together, nobody could turn away and break the intense gaze. It was almost magical.

His eyes wandered to your lips a few times and before he could rethink it again, you leaned in. Closer, to capture his lips with your own. For a moment, he froze before melting into your touch. A curse formed under his breath as he took the lead and pressed you against the wall.

His mask had been discarded during the walk as he had pressed a kiss to your fingers. And you were glad that you didn't need to fight with that extra layer now.

You moaned when his fingers glided over your spine, finding their way into your hair and loosening the messy bun until your hair was free.

Your own hands were busy with clutching his black hoodie, drawing impossibly closer.

If someone saw you two right now and actually recognised Seungmin, you both would have fucked up. But right in that moment you couldn't care less. The kiss was passionate and hard, filled with desire.

"You think you have some time left before you need to leave" you asked breathy against his lips, looking him deep into the eyes. He nodded eagerly. "Yes, definitely" his lips connected with yours again and you pulled at his collar to get him inside.

Inside your apartment, you couldn't even close the door properly before he pressed your back against the wooden material. The kiss deepened and you felt his hands roam your body, gently and caressing. The total opposite to his dominant kissing.

His lips opened in a sigh and his tongue brushed over your velvety lips. Immediately, you moaned, giving him excess to glide his tongue into your mouth to fight with yours.

Your whole body was on fire, burning with a blazing desire that consumed your very being. Like life depended on it, you pressed your form against him, enjoying his hard muscles who moved underneath your touch.

Your hands wandered to his chest, guiding him from the entrance away to your bedroom. As his legs touch the bed, you pushed him gently, letting him fall onto your bed. In a swift motion, you climbed into hid lap. Immediately, his arms wrapped loosely around your waist, making sure that you won't fall down.

"Are we growing impatient, dove?" He purred, kneading your skin. You flashed him a smile. "Not at all. We still have the whole night"

With that, you moved your lips against his again. Underneath your touch, he grew hard. You felt him shift, how his bulge pressed against you. Moaning, you threw your head back as his clothed cock slipped over your entrance.

"Needy" he teased, doing the exact same motion again to lure another sweet sound out of you.

"I would rather say that I'm enjoying my company" you huffed. He chuckled. "I know, i have a great company too."

Your jacket had grown too hot and fast, you discarded it to the ground along with your top and his hoodie. Hungry, you let your gaze wander over his muscular chest. Despite his lean stature, you saw the muscles moving underneath his skin.

"Damn, hot, my little dove" he groaned, taking your exposed chest in. "I can only return it"

In one quick motion, he turned you two so that you laid underneath him, his chest pressing against yours. You huffed, not having expected such a move.

His hands played with the button of your jeans, his eyes searching yours to ask if it was alright to remove it. You nodded and helped him slip the material over your legs.

Hid own trousers soon followed, leaving you both bare. As you took him in, you noticed a slight blush on his cheeks. "We aren't getting shy now, are we?" You teased, giving him a small peck on the lips. He smirked. "Never. Just appreciating the view" he replied, his hands gliding over your upper thighs. Slowly, he guided them around his torso.

"Are you okay with this?" he asked, stopping as he held himself up with one hand and pumped himself in his hand right in front of your entrance.

"Yes" you whispered, laying your forehead against his as he finally pushed inside of you.

♬♬♬

Never in your life you had thought that you will wake up next to an idol. To kiss an idol and especially not spending a night with Seungmin. And yet, here you were. The sunlight spread in your bedroom, falling like a blanket over your naked bodies. He was still sleeping, tired and exhausted from the concert and your activities.

You felt happy, snuggling up to Seungmin who slowly stirred. His eyes blinked awake, giving you a crooked smile before he yawned and stretched.

"Good morning" he whispered into your ear, his voice raspy and absolutely no comparison to his usual angelic voice. A devil at morning and an angel at night, you thought with a smirk.

"Good morning to you too" In the sunlight, Seungmin observed your room, stopping at the posters on your wall.

"I think my members are staring at me. Even I am staring at me" Seungmin snorted, judging the wall that was decorated with stray kids posters. You poked his arm.

"You decided to go on a date with a fan. What did you expect? Would you like it more if I had posters from Ateez on my wall?"

His gaze darkened, vehemently shaking his head. "Heck no. But at least put a sticky note over the eyes of my mates. I constantly have the feeling of being judged."

"Noted for the next time" you laughed, rolling your eyes at his seriousness.

"But you can skip my eyes. I like the sight of you." He wiggled with his eyebrows.

"Of course you do. Should I give you a poster of myself too? Then you have something to look at"

He rubbed his chin, thinking playfully over your suggestion. "Great idea, even though I like the real version more" he slid closer to you, whispering into your ear.

"The real version makes prettier sounds when she comes" his lips brushed your ear as he spoke. You squealed at his words, tenderly slapping his chest.

"You're impossible" you giggled, shaking your head in disbelief.

"I think you mean impossible charming" he corrected, laughing loudly.

[desi2go]

Hey Guys!

Is someone from you going to the Skz concert in Frankfurt? Because I am!

I can't believe I'm going to see them again and have prepared lots of freebies.

And in addition, I bedazzled the logo of skz onto a jacket. Well, I bought tons of rhinestones that are specifically labelled as 'hotfix' which means that with ironing, they'll be glued to the textile. Turns out, I have spent over 40 hours of work and nearly 100€ for absolutely nothing because none of those fucking rhinestones have glue on them. So, they are all falling off in seconds!

I fucking hate this brand. Why are they fucking labelling rhinestones as hotfix when they aren't real ones? And now, I have ruined one of my favourite jackets which I can't wear anymore because the little glue that was on the stones I'd now on the fabric.

And I have no jacket to wear. I can't describe if I'm being frustrated, angry or disappointed. Maybe all together. But I can tell that I would like to murder someone right now. I'm preferring the brand who sells these lame excuse of hotfix rhinestones.

[desi2go]

What if it changed everything? (3)

pt. 1 | pt. 2 | pt. 3 | pt. 4

pairing: idol!Seungmin x reader

warnings: angst, pregnancy, fluff, comfort

summary: After a one night of pleasure with a member of the famous kpop group Stray Kids, you find out that you are pregnant. What will you do?

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The sun burned on your exposed shoulders. And you were sure, despite the thick layers of sunscreen, you would end up with a sunburn. The warm air was filled with laughter and quiet music blasting from a music box, adding much to the comfortable and excited atmosphere.

You huffed as you walked around in your garden at your parent's house. Your old home where you grew up. It wasn't that big since the house was at the edge of the city, but big enough for your small little gathering with the most important people in your life.

Not just any gathering, today was the gender reaveal party of your baby. Today, you finally knew if your little bean was a boy or a girl.

The garden was glowing with all kind of decoration. Blue and pink balloons had been tied to the old tree which you had climbed so often as a kid. Fairy lights and pastel garlands decorated the hegde that surrounded the garden where your father used to hid the Easter eggs in.

This house still meant so much to you, the time where your father and your mother still loved each other and lived here together was sacred to you. You knew that you couldn't be angry at them for breaking up, it was their decision, but sometimes you wished they were still married and talking to each other.

At least, they tried to be nice to each other today. Your father still came here where his ex-wife lived to celebrate, even though they tried to keep a good distance from each other.

Your father helped Chan and Minho with grilling and your mother mostly chatted with Hyunjin and Changbin who made one joke after the other.

All of them were here today. Seungmin and his group members, Sanha and your parents. These were the only persons you wanted here.

"Everything okay, Y/n?" Your best friend appeared in front of you, a glass of ice tea in hand that she immediately gave you.

You nodded with a smile. "Yeah, it's just so warm."

"great weather to know the gender of your baby" she winked at you, pulling you underneath the parasol and into a chair. "Come sit, baby mama" she smirked, already trailing off to get some things from inside.

She and Seungmin's friends had organised this little party for you and Seungmin. And you were extremely grateful for it. Otherwise you wouldn't have managed to do it with all the appointments and college.

At your last doctor's appointment, you had asked for her to write the gender on a paper and put it into an envelope. Saying that you and Seungmin who had accompanied you weren't close to look for yourselves was a lie. You both were itching to find out. But Sanha had immediately snatched the envelope from your fingers and safely stored it for you so that you couldn't look.

Together with Felix, she had baked a great cake that was white on the outside and in the inside, there would be a delicious filling coloured in blue or pink that would show what gender your baby was. And the cookies and brownies did Felix too. They were shaped into cute little beans with frosting, a cute detail that you cherished so much.

Hah, nobody thinks that puppy is a better nickname, you thought while chuckling.

Seungmin was talking to Jeongin, a smile permanent on his lips. He looked happy. And you were too, even though your swelling bump brought discomfort. You were now at 20 weeks, halfway through the pregnancy. Only 20 more to go to finally meet the little bean.

And it still felt so surreal that you were having a baby, becoming a mother in only a few months.

"Here come the cake!" Jisung yelled, the white cake in his hands while walking quickly out of the house. Jeongin sucked air through his teeth at the sight and quickly ran up to him to safely transfer the cake into his arms.

"Ey!" The older one exclaimed, pouting dramatically. "Sorry, Ji. But you are way too clumsy." Hyunjin stepped in, rubbing Jisung's shoulder with a smirk.

"That's not true!" He added.

"Really? Do you remember the accident at Minho's birthday?" Chan asked, scrolling through his phone until he showed you all a video. Jisung was strolling through the dorm's living room, approaching Minho with a huge smile and singing along to happy birthday.

But he tripped over his own feet and crashed to the ground, his head diving into the decorated cake face first. As he pulled his face out of the smashed cake, he was wholly covered in it, even his hair was sticky and covered in frosting.

You all laughed wholeheartedly and Jisung's ears turned red. "That was just one time!" He corrected with a pout. "At least it was rememberable" he shrugged his shoulders and Minho nodded. "Memorable indeed"

"Let's cut the cake! You suggested as Jeongin placed it on the table.

"I bet it's gonna be a boy!" Hyunjin exclaimed, showing the blue badge he had clipped onto his shirt. Everyone got a badge, wether they thought it was a girl or boy.

"You wish. It's definitely a girl" Chan replied, leaning over the table.

"Team boy forever!" Jeongin and Minho shouted while the rest of the members claimed it was a girl. Seungmin was quiet, he had absolutely no idea what gender his baby would have. He had read old wive's Tales on his phone some days prior and they assumed it was a boy with how much you glowed. They said that a girl would steal your beauty but for him, you only grew more beautiful since you were pregnant.

Your mother handed you a knife and Seungmin enveloped your hand with his. As you looked up at him with surprise he smiled at you. "Let's find out together"

You nodded in anticipation and with combined hands, you cut the cake, revealing the colourful filling.

It was blue.

It was a boy, you were going to have a boy. You couldn't contain the tears of joy that gathered in your eyes and sobbed quietly. As Seungmin noticed your shaking form, he carefully laid his arms around your body, pulling you into his chest. Your nose was pressed against his white shirt, inhaling his cologne and his rich scent that calmed you down.

"Everything already, sweetheart?" He whispered into your ear and you nodded, pulling your face away from his chest and gave him a big teary smile.

"Great, we are going to have a boy" you sobbed while a laugh escaped your throat. "Yes, our little bean" he gave you a gentle kiss on the forehead, pulling you closer again to hug you tight.

The others cheered for you, recording the heartfelt moment that was forever burned into your brain.

Softly, you caressed your baby bump that was hidden underneath the flowy white material of your dress. You couldn't wait to meet your son.

❤☯❤

After finding out that you were going to get a baby boy, you starting looking online and in shops for baby clothes and all the essentials you would need once the little bean was born. But one big issue was where you would put the nursery. Your apartment was small, really small. It just barely had enough space for you, how could there live a baby?

Even though you loved your apartment with all your heart, you knew you had to look for other places. Maybe even moving before he was born. But that brought another issue with it. Money. You weren't rich and the little income you had was spent on rent and groceries mostly. You couldn't rent bigger apartment when this small one was already so pricey. Maybe, you should consider to move more to the edge of the city or even in a village in the near.

Your mother had suggested that you could come back into your family's house so that she could help you and you didn't have to worry about an apartment. But you just couldn't. Without dad there, in your mother's arms, it didn't felt right. Like a huge piece was missing. Plus, you didn't want to burden your mom with another problem.

You knew she had issues with finding sleep, especially since your father didn't sleep beside her anymore. Often, she had huge circles under her eyes, dark and unnoticeable. A crying baby wasn't helping at all.

Luckily, you had spoken to your college and you would lie if you said that they were happy to let you take a break between the semesters. But they didn't have a chance. The end of the current semester was near and you would take the next off. At least you could check that problem off your list now.

"Already found somewhere to live?" Seungmin asked you over your phone while you cleaned your kitchen in the meantime. Sadly, he couldn't be there because he was in Paris for a fashion show but that didn't stop him from asking how you're doing.

It made you smile when you thought about how early he was awake just to speak to you before he needed to leave. In Paris, it was currently 3 am while you were already seven hours ahead. Crazy but you kinda loved the sweet gesture.

"Nope. I guess I just have to wait and maybe something good will pop up" you shrugged your shoulders, scrubbing the stove.

"Hopefully" he sighed, his blanket ruffling as he shifted.

You had interest in one of two apartments that were sort of in your affordable price range but when you reached out again to ask for a contract, they told you every time that they had already someone. Looking for a new home was devastating.

"We will find something, I promise" he added in a soft tone and through the camera you saw the gentle smile on his lips.

"Yes, we still have some time left" you answered, glancing to your tummy as you felt a strange movement. You gasped stilling in your movements and waited.

"Y/n?" Seungmin asked worried.

"Is something wrong with the baby?" His voice carried concern and fear, his back straightened as if he was about to jump through the phone to you.

"Yes. I mean no!" You stumbled, a smile forming on your lips as you pressed your hand against the spot where your little bean had moved.

"Our little bean moved!" You exclaimed, waiting in anticipation for the next one.

The black haired man's eyes widened and his mouth was agape. "Really? He's moving?" He asked again, thrilled and beaming as well with joy.

"Yes! Now again! He's becoming active" you giggled, feeling the tears in your eyes.

"I want to feel it too!" Seungmin pouted. "I should jump on a plane right now. I can't wait to feel his movements."

"You can feel it when you are back from the fashion show. Little bean will show you how strong he is then" you corrected, glancing proudly at your belly.

"I can't wait to be home again"

❤☯❤

Just four days later, Seungmin stood in front of your apartment.

"You're already back?" You asked surprised. He had told you that he would arrive today in the late afternoon but you didn't think that he would come over after an exhausting 12 hour flight.

"I couldn't wait anymore. I'm itching to feel my little boy move" the way he pronounced 'little boy' made your heart beat faster, it was so cute and somehow possessive.

With a giggle, you let the man into your apartment, just noticing the pretty gift bag he held in his hands.

His own trailed over the gift. "Oh, I nearly forgot. I saw this in a shop and instantly thought about you - so, I bought it" shyly, he placed the bag into your hands and you thanked him throughoutly before peeking inside.

Curiously, you pulled a stunning red dress out that seemed just your size. It was perfect.

"Oh my - Seungmin. I don't know what to say" you whispered, clutching the fabric to your chest.

"It's extremely stretchy by the way. So, you should be able to wear it now and after the pregnancy" he winked at you.

"Thank you so much. I don't know how to repay you"

He shrugged. "You don't need to. It's a gift. My only condition is that I will be the first to see you in that dress"

You nodded eagerly. "Yes, I can definitely arrange that"

"Great. And now, can I feel my boy?" He asked gently, not forcing you to say yes, just a simple question that you were happy to consent. "Yes, sure" you replied, sitting down on the couch and leaning back. In a swift motion, you pulled your top up to expose your protruding belly.

"Wow. I feel like in the last few days where was in Paris, you grew even more bigger" he stated with a fond smile. You nudged him playfully.

"Ey! Be careful what you say" you knitted your eyebrows and he lifted his hands. "Oh sorry. Didn't meant to offend you. Was just stating that you are even more beautiful with my baby in your belly."

Well, you definitely hadn't expected such words but they made you blush nonetheless. He giggled at the cute redness filling your cheeks, placing his hands gently on your exposed belly, right underneath your belly button.

His fingers were warm against your skin as they moved in slow movements. He stilled from time to time to try to feel your little bean moving.

Seungmin sighed in defeat, pouring and looking up at you. "Why isn't he moving? Isn't he happy that he Papa is back?" The sadness nearly made you coo at him.

"Maybe he is sleeping" you suggested with a giggle.

"No!" He exclaimed in terror, carefully laying his head on your belly, ear pressing against your skin. Meanwhile, his finger poked you. "How can you sleep, little bean, when your Papa is right here to feel you move?"

You couldn't contain your laughter as you watched how the black haired scolded the unborn baby with such seriousness.

"Yes, laugh more. Maybe he will wake up then" Seungmin encouraged, making different gestures to keep you giggling while his head was still on your bump.

"Come on buddy, show your papa how strong you are" he poked you again and again until he felt a small move underneath his head.

He shot up, a big smile on his lips. "There you are, my little bean" he cooed, pressing a little kiss onto your skin. You giggled at the light touch, a blush creating on your cheeks.

"Here's your papa. I can't wait to meet you" he whispered and it somewhat felt like Seungmin wasn't just a random hookup that resulted into a baby. You felt like you were an actual couple, not just two strangers. And you would lie if you said that you were happy that you are just strangers that are bound together by the unborn baby.

"Mama can't wait to meet you either" you replied in a soft tone, your hand hesitantly wrapping around Seungmin's. Gently, he caressed your fingers and looked at you tenderly. The way he observed you made your heart beat faster with unspoken feelings

And maybe, just maybe he felt the same way too.

❤☯❤

"I can't wait to show Y/n this adorable onesie" Seungmin exclaimed holding a light blue baby clothes up for Changbin to see. The cute little puppies all over the fabric had immediately drawn the back haired man's attention.

"It's perfect." His friend agreed, adding it to the pile of clothes in the shopping bag.

Today was one of those rare days where Stray kids only needed to attend a single dance practise lesson. Nothing more that would keep them in the company building all day.

While most of his members spent the day resting or with friends, Seungmin decided to go shopping for the baby since you were getting into the 25th week of pregnancy now. Not long and he will be meeting the little bundle of joy.

Oh he was so excited, especially since he would have a baby with you. Who knows how it would have been when you weren't the on pregnant?

He liked you, really. Your humour and your kind heart made him feel something that he hadn't felt in such a long time.

"I can't wait to give all these to her"

"You should just ask her for a date, Min. Come on. You can't just keep pining forever. Make a move" Changbin nudged his shoulder as they both trailed to the cashier.

"You think so?" Seungmin replied, quickly handing out the cash. "Sure she is even interested?"

"Dude. You're going to be the father of her child. She wouldn't have slept with you if she wasn't interested"

"But it was a one night stand. Not a date. I don't even know if she wants to date" Seungmin sighed, clutching the shopping bag in his hand in frustration.

"You won't find out if you don't ask her" Changbin replied, nudging Seungmin's shoulder.

"You're right. The next time I see her, I'll ask her out" he nodded, exiting the mall to walk to your apartment to gift you the clothes immediately. He opted to ask you today so that he couldn't put it off longer.

"That's right" Changbin approved, walking through the city centre.

A few moments later, Seungmin's friend pointed to a café.

"Isn't that Y/n?" He asked, pinching his eyes together to check if the pregnant woman on the other side of the street was actually you. Seungmin recognised you immediately. It was you. He would recognise you everywhere.

He nodded, smiling wildly at the thought of asking you now. "I'm gonna say hello" he decided and jogged over the street to the café which you had just entered.

The excitement in Seungmin's chest died down when he saw your form sitting across from another man. He was tall, wide shoulders and a huge smile. His blonde hair fell in waves over his forehead and something twisted inside of him as he saw you two hug tightly.

He clenched the bag tighter in his hands and knitted his eyebrows. You laughed at something the beautiful male said and poked his shoulder. A knife was stuck in his heart and a pain that could only be caused by an unrequited love consumed his body.

How could he have been so dumb to think that you would feel the same? He thought your actions had meant something. Something that was more than friends. And the worst? He couldn't really be mad at you. You weren't together, not even real friends. Just some strangers that had created life together.

He absolutely had no claim of you. And still, it hurt to see you with another man. So much.

He shook his head, turning around and quickly crossing the street back to Changbin who layed his head to the side in confusion.

"What-" Seungmin didn't let him finish his question. "Let's go back to the dorms" he just exclaimed, his voice tight and composed. He didn't even wait to see if his friend followed.

"Seungmin what happened?" The shorter male asked huffing as he jogged until he was next to him.

"I don't need to ask her. I didn't realise she was already dating someone" he growled in agitation. Not at you. You obviously didn't do anything wrong. He was the idiot.

"Why?"

"Because she was meeting another man in the café" he exclaimed, a headache forming behind his forehead.

"What? Really? She didn't say anything about dating someone. Wouldn't she have told you, especially when you are visiting her so often?" Changbin considered.

Seungmin sighed, massaging his forehead. "I don't know. It's just- Let's just go home, okay?"

Changbin knew he couldn't argue against what his friend had seen. He would believe it too. But he didn't thing you would keep such a information a secret.

❤☯❤

During the last 25 weeks of your pregnancy you had grown used to the constant presence of Seungmin. He had been with you during all this time. When you puked because of a strange smell, he had held your hair. When you had weird cravings, he was the one buying it, even when he just came from work in the middle of the night when he was calling you to check.

But in the last week, something had changed. The open hearted young man wasn't himself anymore when he was around you. The usual warmth that surrounded him was gone, exchanged with a stiffness and coldness you didn't know before.

You sat in his car as you two drove to the next doctor's appointment together. The first thing that was off was that he didn't come to your front door at first and instead waited in his car alone until you got into the passenger seat. Then, his face was stiff and it seemed like he clenched his teeth together. You had absolutely no idea why.

But the worst thing was the silence. An uncomfortable silence that filled the entire car which nearly crushed you.

"How was your weekend?" you tried to start a conversation that would hopefully fill the endless void.

"Good" he just answered, keeping his eyes set on the streets ahead of him while clutching the steering wheel tightly.

Well, you thought that you could create a conversation. "I saw in the internet that you had a performance. The t-shirt you wore looked so cute! And of course, Felix flashed everyone with his abs" you mused with a grin and wiggling eyebrows but Seungmin was not having it.

What the hell did you do?, you thought as he acknowledged your words with a short and measured nod. You quickly reviewed the last week but couldn't remember anything that could have upset him. You actually had thought the opposite since you two had texted each other on a daily basis and even visited a rentable apartment (which turned out to be an absolute disaster) where you had a lot of fun.

So, what was causing this sudden change in behaviour? Or was it just a bad day for him? You opted to not annoy him any further and keep to yourself for the rest of the drive.

Despite his lack of openness, he still helped you when walking up the few stairs, like he didn't want to care but couldn't get himself not to. His touch was minimal on your back but you still felt it. It was warm, hit even, burning through your shirt and leaving a comfortable feeling.

In the waiting area and in the doctor's office he was quiet, watching the monitor in silence, even just answering the doctor in short sentences without glancing in your way.

Okay, now you were pretty sure he wasn't just having a bad day. He seemed to avoid you in every way possible. Where did your good relationship to each other go?

"Baby boy seems to be healthy and strong" the doctor announced after removing the ultrasound from your belly.

"That's great" you chuckled, wiping the gel from your skin with a paper towel.

"Well, when you don't have any other questions, we are finished and we'll see each other at the next appointment" you pulled your shirt back down and Seungmin was already exiting the room like he couldn't stand to be near you at the moment.

With knitted eyebrows, you followed him to the car.

"Okay, what's up? Tell me. You act different" you stopped him just before he could enter the car, your hands curling around his arm gently.

He sighed, eyes shooting up to your face before focusing on something else again. "Nothing" he mumbled.

You snorted. "Come on, Seungmin. I know something is wrong. But I have absolutely no idea what" your fingers caressed hid arm and for a moment he melted into your touch.

But his expression became hurtful and filled with shame. "Nothing is wrong Y/n. I don't know what you mean" he gulped and freed himself from your hold. With a tight smile, he opened your passenger door.

"Let's get you home, Y/n" you knew he wouldn't answer you right now. He was too stoic for that and somehow seemed hurt. Why? Had you hurt him unintentionally? You literally had no idea how you had offended him.

These questions busied your mind until you arrived at your apartment door. Seungmin didn't even come up to say goodbye like always, rather humming a short bye in the car. You clenched your teeth together and quickly unlocked your door.

Such an idiot. Why is he like that? You did nothing wrong. And you thought that maybe there was something more between you, something more than friendship. Because you felt the good connection you two shared, the pull towards him. And you had been sure he had felt it too. But now? You weren't so sure anymore.

❤☯❤

Seungmin's behaviour didn't get better from then on. He was still distant and vague, only really speaking to you when it concerned the baby. Slowly, you got frustrated. Where you just the one who would deliver his baby now? Nothing more?

You even reached out to Chan to ask what was wrong but he couldn't really give you an answer. The only thing he told you was that the black haired had been sleeping at his own apartment and not in the dorms anymore.

A sharp pain crashed through your body from your belly. The little bean had been pretty active. With a hiss, you rubbed the spot he had kicked. "Beanie, that's not nice. It hurts" you scolded him playfully, actually enjoying the feeling of him moving. That reassured you that he was strong and healthy. Even though you had told him multiple times that your ribs weren't a music instrument he needed to kick or your bladder wasn't a pillow to sleep on. But of course he didn't listen to you.

He kicked again right where your hand laid. "I know. I miss your papa too" it wasn't like Seungmin was on a tour or out of the country. No, he just refused to come over or to even call. He would say that he was in the middle of a vocal lesson or a dance practice which wasn't true since Chan told you that he had a free afternoon.

In the evening, you decided that it was enough torture. If he had something against you, he could finally voice it. He wasn't a child anymore for god's sake. And he could stand up to his actions.

You still remembered the way to his apartment. You had been there a few times now. Sometimes to plan the future and sometimes just to have company. During your whole trip, you fiddled with your hands, a bad feeling spreading inside of you.

With a shaky breath, you made your way up to the apartment. But you didn't even come far and with your eyes looking down, you didn't expect walking into someone.

Quickly, your gaze shot up and were shocked to look into the eyes you adored so much, the eyes meant so much to you now.

"Seungmin" his name fell breathy from your lips, a small smile tugging at them. His own eyes widened and panic surged through them.

"Y/n, what are you doing here?" He asked and before you could answer, another voice forced himself into the conversation.

"Seungmin, who is this?" You stilled, slowly taking in the form that was basically glued to the arm of the father of your unborn child. She was pretty. Blonde, tall and super thin. Her face looked down at you like you were in her way to success.

Seungmin gulped, eyes trailing down. You weren't dumb. You knew exactly what he was doing. It wasn't like you two hadn't done the same.

Your heart hurt, clenching together as pain consumed you. You turned your gaze away from them, it hurt too much.

"This is Y/n" the black haired stumbled over his own words, the silence filling with uncomfortable avoidance.

"Oh- um. Sorry- I didn't. I didn't want to disturb you" you whispered, seeing the blonde's triumphant smile as you turned on your heels to flee the scene.

Don't cry, don't cry, don't cry, you thought desperately, repeating it like a mantra until you were out if their sight.

So that was why he was so different? Were you really that dumb and thought you stood a chance? How pathetic. You were just a random girl and he an idol. Of course he wouldn't want to spend his life with you. Pathetic, pathetic, pathetic.

And you really thought that he felt the same. You snorted bitterly, now letting the tears run down your cheeks. And the worst?

You were ashamed. You had his child in your belly and didn't really matter to him anyways. Not the way you would like to matter. You were just the mother, a random stranger.

You couldn't believe how you could lie to yourself like that. There never was a real chance for you. And your own heart was already too deep in love. Yes, you said it. You loved him and his quirky mannerisms.

"Sanha?" You sobbed into your phone, clutching it tightly with trembling hands.

"Oh my - what's up, Y/n? Is the baby alright?" Her voice sounded through your phone after the first ring, concern showing in her voice.

"Yes, he is fine." You murmured. "Seungmin he-" your lip trembled as you tried to voice what you just saw.

"Y/n. What did he do?" Sanha wanted to know.

"I told you that he was distant lately and I wanted to know what happened. So, I went to his apartment, only to see a random girl glued to his arm" the words came out shallow and shaky.

"He did not" Sabha exclaimed, huffing out air in a frustration. "Don't worry, I'll get some ice and come to your apartment" she added and you heard how she already shut her door and trailed down the steps from her own apartment.

"With pickles?" You whispered, earning a laugh from your best friend.

"Of course with pickled"

"Thank you. You're the best" you sobbed. "I know." With that, she hung up and you trotted back home.

You were completely sweaty and exhausted when you arrived back at your apartment. The summer's heat and the additional weight from the baby made it even more difficult now. Plus, the crying had weighed you down too, making your eyes puffy and swollen.

Not five minutes later, Sanha came through the door with vanilla ice cream and your requested pickles. She hugged you tight, pressing a kiss to your hair.

"I'm so sorry Y/n."

"Why did he do that? I thought there was more between us." You sighed, opening the ice cream and dipping a pickle in it.

"I don't know. But I had the same impression. He always looked at you so smitten" she argued, plopping down onto the couch. You sat down right next to her, wiggling your swollen feet to lift the weight from them.

"Sometimes, I really thought he would kiss me. But as it seems, he isn't interested at all." You brushed your hair out of your face. The sadness and betrayel you felt prior slowly turned into frustration and anger.

"And the worst? He doesn't even have the heart to tell me or hint at me that he is still doing one night stands. God, I feel so embarrassed" you massaged your scalp, tears of frustration forming in your eyes again.

"Don't feel embarrassed. I thought he had feelings for you too. And he could have communicated" she wrapped her arms around your middle.

"And even if I wanted to stop the contact, I couldn't because of our little bean" you complained, hating the situation he had gotten you in. Every time you would see him, you were going to be reminded of your shame and anger.

"Yes, he's such an asshole" Sanha nodded, combing through your hair with her fingers in a soothing manner. "The next time I'll see him, I'll give him a piece of my mind"

──────── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ────────

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[desi2go]

What if it changed everything? (2)

pt. 1 | pt. 2 | pt. 3 | pt. 4

pairing: idol!Seungmin x reader

warnings: angst, pregnancy, fluff, comfort

summary: After a one night of pleasure with a member of the famous kpop group Stray Kids, you find out that you are pregnant. What will you do?

──────── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ────────

Twenty minutes later, Sanha burst through your apartment door with a heroic smile.

"Where is my mama-to-be?" She yelled, balancing a grocery bag in one hand and a six-pack if the promised ice tea in the other.

"I've brought everything for our little celebration! Tea because you're boring now, snacks and lots of ice cream. And our favourite pizzas are ordered and will arrive here shortly!"

Still smiling from the latest events, you poked your head out if the kitchen, shaking your head in disbelief. "I'm pregnant not ancient"

"Same thing" your best friend shrugged, dumping the bag on your kitchen table before enveloping you into a tight hug. Then, she leaned down to your belly, playfully poking you as if your little bean would already feel it.

"Heard that beanie? You gotta stay in there for a while before you can meet your sassy aunt! But don't go so hard in your mama" she exclaimed, tickling you from time to time. You giggled, swatting at her.

"Oh I hope this kid won't be a troublemaker" you prayed. Sanha winked at you playfully, filling herself a glass of ice tea.

"This is insane. I mean, holy crap, I’m gonna be the hottest, coolest aunt ever. You know that, right? And if you need a babysitter, I can take care of beanie” she promised with an enthusiastic nod.

"I don't know..." you teased with a big smirk. "You just spilled your tea on my floor"

Sanha hadn't even noticed that her glass had spilled over from all her dramatic and generous movements. Immediately she perked down and laughed. "Ups" you threw a paper towel at her and quickly, she destroyed the evidence of her clumsiness.

"And for the record! This doesn't say anything about my ability to babysit"

You snorted, grabbing the gummy bears and the ice cream from the grocery bag and let yourself fall onto the couch.

"Well, but your orchids do. They are now more or less dry plants" you stated, earning a playful outraged gasp.

"Okay, I admit that I don't have a green thumb" she replied, already munching on some gummy bears as she collapsed onto the couch, stretching out over the cushions like she owned this place. "But luckily, your little bean isn't a plant that I can forget to water"

"True" you giggled, rubbing your belly without even noticing.

"It's still so unbelievable that I will be a mother" you admitted after a second of silence where both of you only ravaged through the sweet treats.

"Yeah, suddenly, it's real, isn't it?"

You hummed, looking down at your stomach that will grow bigger and bigger over the following months. "It's terrifying. And kind of wonderful"

Samba reached over and squeezed your hand. "You're gonna be amazing. And this little beanie?" She pointed to your stomach. "Already has the coolest mama in the world"

You grinned at her words. "Stop, you're gonna make me cry again"

"No problem. I brought tissues too." Your best friend smirked, wiggling her eyebrows as she held the box high in the air.

"See? I'm such a good auntie"

Before you could reply, your doorbell rang. Sanha rubbed her hands together happily. "Our pizzas are there! I'm already starving" with a great speed, she jumped up from her spot on the couch which made you wonder how much coffee she had today. When it comes to food, Sanha was feisty and a diva.

Slowly, not making the effort to beat her to the door, you instead got another glass of ice tea for yourself.

"Hey! Where's the pizza?" You heard her ask curiously as soon as she had joyfully swung open the door.

Someone cleared their throat awkwardly. "Actually, I'm not the delivery guy. Is this Y/n's apartment?" You stilled in your tracks when you recognized the voice, willing your head around and quickly poking your head out of the kitchen.

When you stepped into the hallway, you saw how your best friend had straightened her back, tension visible.

"Are you that Seungmin guy who had ran off like an asshole?" She asked, her voice dangerously low and so different from her usual sweetness that you were shocked.

"Well, um. Yeah, I'm Seungmin. I-is she here? Can I talk to Y/n?" his voice wavered and his eyes tried to look past your best friend.

You sighed and walked forward, stepping into his vision. Immediately, his eyes lit up and he deeply exhaled. "Y/n! Please, can we talk?" He pleaded, looking like a kicked puppy.

You patted Sanha's shoulder with a small smile, telling her that it's okay and you could handle him on your own. "You sure? I could deal with him." She whispered but you only shook your head. You were thankful for her protectiveness but this was something you and Seungmin needed to speak about alone without anyone interrupting.

With one deadly look to the black haired man, wiggling her two fingers in front of his face to indicate that she will keep an eye on him. She turned and went back into the living room. You shut the door behind you as you stepped out into the dimly lit hallway to give you both some privacy.

"What are you doing here, Seungmin? And how do you even have my address?" judgemental, you crossed your arms in front of your body, pulling the hoodie tighter around your form as if you wanted to protect your baby from the possible threat that he was.

He brushed his hair back and cleared his throat. "I got your address from the NDA and I'm here to talk about our baby" he whispered the last part, casting his eyes down.

Your eyebrows were knitted as you observed his form. He looked guilty and shameful about how he had treated you the last time he saw you. Good, he was an asshole.

Even though you could understand his panic, it didn't meant that he didn't need to work for your forgiveness.

"Really? I thought that you made it clear that you want nothing to do with me or the baby" you stated, voice tight and accusing.

"Look. I'm sorry. I was overwhelmed and I know that's not excusing my behaviour"

"And you believe that I'm not overwhelmed? I'm the one pregnant for god's sake" you muttered, puffing air out of your lungs. By the mention of the pregnancy, his gaze shot towards your belly which was hidden safely by the big cardigan. As if he could already see anything.

"I'm so sorry that I was so selfish. I know it's even harder for you" he replied, his adam's apple bobbing up and down as his gaze traveled several times between your belly and your face.

"Are you s-still? Have you- do you?" He scrambled over his words, his cheeks reddening and scratching the back of his head. He was clearly uncomfortable and awkward to ask. If you didn't know what he was implying you would think that he was crazy.

"I went to a clinic today to terminate the pregnancy" you answered, observing his facial expressions but you couldn't tell if he was happy or sad.

"So there is no baby anymore?" His question came hesitant as if he wasn't sure of he was allowed to even ask.

"I couldn't do an abortion." You finally admitted, rubbing without noticing over your still flat belly. "I'm keeping it"

He deeply inhaled. "Okay, okay. Congratulations I guess." He suddenly stopped speaking, thinking about his next words with care. "I don't let you go through this alone. I want to be in this baby's life. And not just through financial aid."

"We barely know eachother, Seungmin" you said, crossing your arms tighter around your body. "It was just one night. That's all it was supposed to be"

"I know" Lowering his voice, he nodded. "But that one night changed everything. Wether we like it or not... we're connected now"

"Do you know what it felt like finding out I was pregnant? With no clue what kind of person you really are?” He looked like he wanted to speak, but you cut him off with a hand

“I’m not asking for a relationship. I don’t want some forced fairytale because of a mistake. But this baby…” you placed a hand over your stomach again, “deserves more than someone who bolts the second things get real."

Seungmin stepped back slightly, guilt washing over his features. "I'm not asking for a relationship either. I just-" he hesitated, his voice tight as he formed the next words. "I want to be there. For you and the baby. If you'll let me"

You studied him for a moment, feeling the old anger curl up beside a newer feeling—cautious curiosity. “I’m not promising anything,” you said finally. “But if you’re serious, if you really want to be involved… then show up. Consistently. Respect my boundaries. And prove that you're not going to vanish again the second this gets inconvenient and it may threaten your career as an idol.”

He nodded quickly, head bopping up and down firmly and eyes locking with yours that showed gratitude. “I will. I swear I will.”

You exhaled slowly, hand grabbing the door handle. "Here's my phone number" he mumbled, scribbling the numbers on an unused tissue he had in his pocket of his leather jacket you knew from your first meeting.

Nodding thankfully, you grabbed the tissue and stepped back into the safety of your apartment where Sanha already waited for you, hot on her toes. She bounced on her feet as if she was ready to pounce at Seungmin the minute you opened your mouth.

"Do I need to unalive him and bury his body?" She asked completely unfazed and serious. You snorted.

"No! Of course not!"

Dramatically, she exhaled gratefully, winking at you. "Puh, and I already planned where I would bury him"

You two went back to the couch, letting you fall against the soft cushions and already diving into the bowl with gummy bears.

"And what did he want?" your best friend questioned with her mouth full with food, just like you knew her.

"He said sorry and wants to be a part of the child's life" you shrugged your shoulders, leaning your head on her arm. Gently, she patted your hair before dropping some gummies into your mouth.

"Is that good? I mean are you fine with that?"

You hummed. "I guess so. I mean, I can't forbid it. And maybe some help is good, especially with how expensive baby stuff is nowadays"

"I know! On the way here I looked up some sweet clothes in the internet and was shocked how pricey they are!"

"Yeah, my bank account is going to cry. But I think, he might be a good dad. Or at least I hope so" you murmured.

"If he isn't, I'm going to kick his ass" Sanha exclaimed with a big smirk.

❤☯❤

The next few weeks were turbulent. Between morning sickness and classes, you had gotten invited for a job interview in the same little café where Sanha worked. She had put in a good word for you and after a successful trail work, you had the job. It definitely wasn't much money but at least something to pay your rent with.

With the time passing, you knew you had no choice but to tell other people your small secret named bean. Your college had to be informed. And, which you dreaded the most, your parents who still weren't talking to each other.

You could practically see your mother's disappointed face in your mind. How she will shake her head while making a grimace.

"Welcome to the shit show" you mumbled as you stepped into the small restaurant where you were meeting your parents. Well, they didn't know they would be spending lunch with each other. Otherwise, they wouldn't have come.

Just as you entered the restaurant, you could already hear the two squabblers. Sighing, you tightened your hold around your bag where you had safely put the sonogram.

"What the heck are you doing here?!" Your mother exclaimed loudly.

"I'm spending dinner with my daughter!" Your father growled, knitting his eyebrows.

"Hey mom, dad" you greeted them first when they didn't recognise you because of their fighting.

"Did you plan that?" your mother sternly asked.

You nodded. "Yes, because I have to tell you something important" as you gestured them to sit down with you, they hesitantly obliged. After ordering your food, you knew you had to tell them. But that didn't make it any less scary. With each passing minute, you felt your throat closing.

"What do you want to tell us, sweetheart?" Your father then questioned, laying his hand on top of yours which rested on the table. From the corner of your eyes, you saw your mom rolling her eyes at the gesture.

While clearing your throat, you pulled the sonogram out of your bag and put it on the table.

"I'm pregnant" you said, quietly observing their reactions. They both stilled in their actions, eyes wide. Your mother took the photo in her hands, staring at it as if it would bring her the answer why her daughter had messed up in life.

The silence was defeating. You could have heard a pin drop to the ground right now.

"Where is the father? Is it your boyfriend- d-do you have a boyfriend?" She scrambled, voice tight, already judging.

"No. I got pregnant from an one night stand."

"Wow, what a surprise. I definitely didn't expect that" your father tried to lighten the mood, clasping his hands together and giving you a small smile.

"From a stranger? Are you kidding me? Didn't you use protection?"

"Come on. She is probably scared as well. Don't be so harsh on her" He tried to soothe his ex wife who only glared at him with knitted eyebrows.

"Harsh? She is pregnant! How should she raise a child when she isn't even finished with college? She will throw her life away!" the grey haired woman argued, turning to your father as if you weren't right there.

They both bickered back and forth for a while even when your meals arrived they didn't mind to stop fighting.

"Mom, Dad. Stop! Okay? I know you two only want the best for me but fighting doesn't solve anything! I chose to keep the baby because I want to and I want you to respect my decision. The father and I are in contact and he's helping me more than you two are now." You raised your voice slightly to overtone their conversation.

Your mother sighed and for the first time since the beginning of your get-together, her gaze softened and a small smile appeared.

"I'm sorry. I know I shouldn't have reacted that way but this is a huge change. I just want the best for you and if you want the baby, I'm there to help"

"I will be there for you too. Whatever it is, come to us" your father added and you were impressed that suddenly they could actually hold a conversation without clawing at eachother.

Gratefully, you took their hands. "Thanks"

❤☯❤

Meeting with Seungmin was now a bit strange. Not that you had anything against his presence, not at all, but your dynamics were just a bit weird.

You had just hooked up for one night and now you were the mother of his child. You weren't friends or boyfriend and girlfriend now. It was awkward. And that weird mixture made you hesitant on how you should approach him. Should you tell him when you have your next appointments? Would he even care?

Your ringing phone broke through your train of thoughts. It was Seungmin.

"Hey Y/n" you heard his voice through the speaker.

"Hey, what's up?"

"I just wanted to ask when your next appointment is."

"This Friday. Why?" You asked, currently swirling your spoon in your soup that will hopefully help keeping something down. Surely, you wouldn't miss the nausea after the baby was out.

"Like I said. I want to be there for you and if you're up for it, I would gladly accompany you" his voice became thin at the end as if he wasn't sure if he was allowed to ask.

You, on the other hand, were surprised that he even asked. "Yes, you can come."

Hearing how he breathed out relieved, you could imagine how he was pumping his fist up in the air in success.

"Great! I'll come pick you up then. When is the appointment?"

You hummed. "10 a.m"

"Okay, I'll be there 9:30 to get you" he said as a goodbye and you hung up. Well, you were excited to see where your journey was going.

❤☯❤

You didn't know why you were so nervous in the first place. It was just a regular checkup with an ultrasound. Nothing special. Yet, here you were, standing in front your mirror. Judging, you turned from left to right, critically observing your clothes and your body.

You didn't know why you suddenly felt so bloated. Sure, you were already in the third month of your pregnancy but was it normal to feel so big?

Well, you didn't look pregnant, rather as if you had too much to eat and a food baby. Unsatisfied, you ran your hands over your dark blue shirt and over the small swelling of your belly. People would definitely assume that you ate too much, great.

Should you choose the looser blouse instead of a t shirt? You sighed in defeat and undressed quickly with an eye to the clock.

Seungmin would be here in about ten minutes and you weren't even near ready. Honestly, you didn't know why you were so indecisive. Usually, you didn't mind what you wore but today? Nothing could satisfy you.

Luckily, you somewhat liked the blouse on you and quickly applied some makeup, ignoring the clothes you had carelessly pulled out of your wardrobe.

As the doorbell rang, you jumped up and opened the door for Seungmin.

The first thing you noticed was how good he looked. Despite the baseball cap that hung low into his face and the same jacket he had worn when you had first met, he looked stunning.

His eyes wandered up and down your body, pausing slightly at your slightly bulging belly where his eyes got big but instead of disgust, he looked amazed and happy.

"You look gorgeous" he whispered after a minute of staring, his gaze still fixed on your belly.

You giggled, pushing a strand of hair behind your ear as redness crept up your cheeks. "Thank you"

"You're showing a bit" he murmured more to himself.

You hummed, shifting your weight from one foot to the other in slight shame. Does he like your protruding bump?

His hand was lifted as if he wanted to touch your belly but he stopped himself in the movement. You cleared your throat.

"I have read that the fetus should be the size of a plump or a kiwi" you mentioned and his gaze shot up in confusion.

"It's this tiny? I thought it was already bigger. Like the size of a coconut..." He replied with a shocked face and shrugging his shoulder.

You raised your eyebrows and couldn't contain the laughter that escaped you.

"A coconut? Really? What do you think is this baby? Hulk?"

Cutely, he blushed and averted his gaze. "Well, maybe I was a little off with my assumption" he stated with a snort before looking quickly on his watch.

"We should get going. Otherwise we will be late"

You nodded and got your bag from inside your apartment. "Okay I'm ready"

You followed him to his car and sat down in the passenger seat. Safely, he navigated you both to the gynecologist. The air was filled with a comfortable silence as you observed your environment as it passed you by.

"Alright, here we are" he said any jumped up from his seat to open your door. Blushing, you bowed thankfully and lead the way inside. You already knew the receptionist who told you to wait shortly before you were called into the examination room.

While you where totally chill,Seungmin nearly seemed to spill over with anxiety and nervousness. Judgemental, you observed how he fiddled with his rings or tapped his fingers against his leg.

"What got you so nervous?" You curiously asked, tilting your head to the side.

"Nothing. It's just the first time I'll see our baby"

You were a liar if you said that the way he casually called the fetus our baby didn't move anything within you. In fact, you were sure that your heart was doing Loopings. Who had thought that those words could lead to such a reaction? Crazy.

"Don't worry. Everything will be fine." You soothed him.

"Yeah, you're right. I'm just overjoyed, you know?"

You nodded as you could fully understand how he felt. You felt the same feeling right now.

Soon, you were called into the examination room and already jumped onto the table while Seungmin took a seat right next to you so he could observe the monitor just like you did.

"Nice to see you again, Mrs. L/n. Next week, you will be in the second trimester. Exciting right? That's often the most comfortable state of the whole pregnancy"

You sighed happily. "I hope so. The morning sickness is killing me" Your doctor chuckled at your statement and already pressed some gel onto your exposed belly.

While she spread the gel and started the examination, you quietly observed Seungmin from the corner of your eyes. He seemed happy, really overjoyed to see the little bean on the monitor for the first time. A small smile danced over his lips and never vanished as he was in absolute awe.

You only listened with one ear when the doctor showed the forming body of your baby on the monitor since you were too distracted watching Seungmin like a lovesick teenager. But something inside of you loved the sight of him being at your side during the checkups.

"Should I print the pictures?" The doctor asked and broke you out of your thoughts.

"Yes, please." Seungmin immediately answered, looking at you for approval. You nodded happily.

"Could we get some more photos? I have quite the big family." Seungmin explained.

"Alright" the doctor said, handing him the small stack which he clutched safely in his hands.

"Everything seems normal." She examined, moving the ultrasound over your belly.

"And this is the heartbeat" she tipped a button on the machine and the steady sound of the tiny heart could be heard.

Seungmin gasped, his eyes not leaving the display where your little bean was displayed. Without noticing he took your hand and crossed his fingers with yours. Gently, you messaged his hand.

"It's way slower than before" you stated, comparing it to the first time you heard the heartbeat. The doctor nodded, explaining that the fast heartbeat will slow down as your pregnancy progresses.

"So it isn't dangerous?" Seungmin asked irritated, knitting his eyebrows as his hold on your hand tightened.

The doctor smiled gently and declined. "The baby is developing well. In a few weeks, we will do another examination and maybe even find out the gender"

You nodded excitedly, wiping the gel from your belly with a paper towel. Then, Seungmin and you left the clinic. The black haired seemed to be in the best mood now, still holding one of the photos in his hand and staring at it with a wide grin.

"It's so cute!" He whispered, snapping a photo with his phone and typing something.

"Yeah, I can't wait to meet the little bean" you answered, laying a hand on your belly.

"Little bean?" He asked, looking up. You shrugged your shoulders. "It's a nickname the baby"

"Why bean? Why do you compare our baby with food?" He mused, smirking teasingly.

"Because it's cute. And what do you think I should call it?" You crossed your arms in front of your chest.

"What about puppy? It's way cuter than bean."

You squeezed your eyes together. "Pup? Just because your skzoo is a puppy?" You snorted, grinning playfully.

"Well, that's one reason. But puppies are cute and tiny"

"I still like beanie more"

He shrugged his shoulders. "You didn't even consider it" he poured with a flint of joy in his eyes, opening the door of the car for you.

"Can I treat you for lunch? I mean, I totally get it if your tired and want to go home but I still need to apologise properly for running like a coward." He scratched his neck while his cheeks turned redder with every word.

You stilled since you hadn't expected such an offer from him. Actually, you thought that he wouldn't bring that situation up ever again. But this was a good surprise.

"Yes, I'd love to. Food is the best bait for pregnant women" He giggled and shut the door after you had sat down in the passenger seat. "I figured"

“So, pick your poison. What do you crave right now? Salty? Sweet? Pickles dipped in Nutella?” he grinned at the thought of you munching on some of the weirdest combinations.

You laughed wholeheartedly. “Honestly? I could kill for a giant plate of spaghetti. Like, drowning in parmesan. And an ice - a big one with sprinkels”

Seungmin's face lit up and he nodded. “Done. I know a place.”

❤☯❤

Soon, you sat across from him at the small Italian restaurant, fingers lightly drumming on the napkin in her nap.

After ordering food, the comfortable silence turned into a relaxed conversation and you actually enjoyed the time with him. Maybe a bit too much if you were honest. You knew that he was just spending time with you because of the baby but a part of you wanted so desperately to believe that there was another reason.

"By the way. My friends, the other members of straykids want to meet you. Well, you already knew that I am an idol and you definitely figured out to which group I belong" He stated.

You snorted. "Of course I knew. Well, technically, Sanha found out while she was googling your name"

His eyes widened a little. "The friend I met a few weeks ago? The one that opened the door, thinking that I was the delivery guy?"

You grinned while nodded. "Jup, that's her"

"She seems scary" he admitted, smirking playfully.

Snorting, you replied. "Well, she's just very protective but actually, she is just a big golden retriever with a big heart and appetite."

He laughed again, showing you his handsome smile. "So, are you up for it? For meeting the members? It's okay if you don't want to, they are a handful"

"No, it's okay. Just pick a date that's manageable with your schedule"

He nodded gratefully, already feeling giddy at the thought of his most important persons in his life together in one room.

When the food arrived, it was everything you wanted: perfectly twirled spaghetti drowning in rich tomato sauce and buried under what had to be half a block of parmesan. You sighed happily after the first bite.

“Okay,” you said, pointing at your plate. “You’re officially forgiven for bolting the other day.”

Seungmin raised his glass of sparkling water in mock solemnity. “To redemption by pasta.”

Later, as the sky turned gold and the streetlights flickered on, you wandered through the park with ice cream cones in hand—mango sorbet for you, mint chocolate chip for him.

“You know,” Seungmin said, nudging your arm, “I read that sorbet eaters are statistically more dramatic.”

“Was the source even trustworthy?” you questioned, licking your ice. “Probably. Might’ve made that one up.” He glanced at you, a playful glint in his eyes.

“But I do know this for sure—”Before you could react, he reached over and dabbed the tip of your nose with his ice cream. A tiny dollop of mint chocolate chip stuck there, cold and sticky.

You gasped, eyes squeezed together . “Are you serious?” He was already laughing. “You looked like you needed a little decoration."

You narrowed your eyes further and pouted heavily. Then, an idea came to your mind and quicker as he could react, you grabbed the hand that was holding the ice cream cone when he wanted to take another lick and pressed his hand up. The ice cream smeared all over his mouth up to his nose.

“There. Now we match.” you exclaimed proudly while he gave you a grumpy stare before breaking and laughing along with you. You stood there laughing, playful and unguarded. It was ridiculous, and sweet, and strangely easy.

Instinctively, Seungmin reached out and wiped the sorbet from your nose with the pad of his thumb, his touch soft and brief.

“You had a little…” he murmured, his voice quieter now. Your eyes locked. For a moment, the world around you faded into background noise—just the fading sun, the melting ice cream, and something unspoken beginning to stir between you.

“Thanks,” you said, suddenly aware of the warmth in your cheeks.

“Anytime,” he replied, a little breathless. You kept walking, a bit closer now. The park stretched out ahead, and something else—something new—walked quietly beside you that made your heart beat faster than ever before. Maybe this baby, this connection between you and Seungmin wasn't so bad after all.

❤☯❤

"How do I look?" you questioned for the tenth time while spinning a few times. Sanha sighed, laying on your bed, her belly facing upwards as she examined your next outfit while being upside-down.

"You look like a pregnant woman." She said, throwing a gummy bear into her mouth. "But a beautiful one"

Rolling your eyes, you threw the T-shirt you had worn in the previous outfit at her but she dodged it successfully. "You already sat that with the last outfits"

Laughing, she rolled onto her stomach. "Because it's true! You look gorgeous in everything"

"Well, that's not going to help me" you scoffed, already slipping out of the current T-shirt and jeans. Furthermore, good outfits got so much rarer when your belly started swelling. Jeans were now more uncomfortable and some T-Shirts were now rather cropped than their normal length.

You were officially in your second trimester and, thank god, the morning sickness has minimized so that you could actually brush your teeth without having the need to vomit. That was such a relief. The baby was now the size of a grapefruit, well, your pregnancy app was stating that.

"What about a dress? They wanted to meet you at their dorms, right?" Sanha asked, standing up with a yawn and pushed you gently to the side to dive right into your wardrobe.

"Yes, Seungmin will come get me and then, I'll finally meet the other members" you recalled what the black haired man had said on the phone a week ago. Proudly, your best friend presented the dress she had picked out for you. A cute white summer dress with blue flowers that looked like they had been drawn onto the dress with watercolours.

"I bet this will show your bump in the cutest way" she squealed and pushed it into your arms. "Plus, it's way more comfy than a jeans and I just know that loverboy can't keep his eyes off of you"

"Okay, you're right. I'll try it on" you murmured, slipping it on. The soft, loose fabric fell over your bump and created soft waves.

"Look? Gorgeous. Problem solved" she fist-bumped you with a wide grin.

Dramatically, you sighed. "What would I do without you?"

"Well, you wouldn't have anyone who gets your special cravings" she shrugged, giving you a light hug. Your doorbell ringed and Sanha practically jumped to the door to answer. Quickly, you just managed to yell that she should at least be nice to him.

After searching for your bag, you followed Sanha. "Don't bring her home late, understood?" she said with knitted eyebrows and managed in a weird way to look down on the taller boy.

"I'm not a baby" you put your hands on your hips as soon as you appeared behind Sanha while shaking your head. Your best friend turned her head towards you and smirked. "No, but a Mama who needs her sleep" she winked at you. Without having Seungmin to notice, she mimicked how she thought he would look at you. Indicating how his eyes were big and his mouth wide agape. You snorted as you saw the exact same look on his face what he just answered with a raised eyebrow.

"Hey" you said to the black haired who returned it while a blush spread over his cheeks and along his neck. Well, Sannie was right. That dress really did things to Seungmin. Good.

You brushed your hair behind your ear and gave him a small smile. "Are you ready?" He asked to which you nodded and gave Sanha a tight hug before slipping out if your apartment. She had insisted on 'babysitting' your apartment for the evening of course only for your netflix account but you knew that she wanted to see if he brought you home safely.

That was 100% clear after she shot him another deadly look and mimicked with her hand how she would decapitate him. He swallowed thickly and nodded.

You exited your apartment and quickly shut the door to get away from Sanha before she could actually unalive him.

"Okay, I need to warn you that they are very chaotic and loud" Seungmin murmured as he shot down the engine in front of the apartment building where the dorms were. You snorted. "I don't mind. I have experience with that" you commented and had your best friend in mind.

Before you could exit the car, his voice stopped you. "By the way, you look stunning today. This dress compliments you" he whispered and quickly looked away while his face reddened.

A smile formed on your lips and you brushed your hair behind your ear in a shy manner. You definitely hadn't expected such words from his mouth.

"Thank you" you answered happily, the last bits of insecurity for choosing this dress was resolving and internally, you thanked Sanha for pushing you out of your comfort zone.

"Let's meet the guys" Seungmin replied, leading you into the building until he stopped in front of a door, rummaging through his jean's pocket to find his key.

As soon as he unlocked it, you could hear loud chattering and someone shouting while pots clanked in the background.

"When will Seungmin's girlfriend finally be here? I wanna meet her" someone exclaimed whiney.

"We're already here, Jisung" Seungmin mumbled, stepping out of his shoes before helping you since the baby bump made you shaky when standing only on one leg.

Quickly, a man with blond died hair appeared in front of you, dressed in a yellow sweater. That must be Felix, you thought.

Okay, you admitted that you had googled every singly member before coming here. But that's understandable, right? Who could blame you? You knew nothing about them at first. What impression would that have made?

"Oh my god! You must be Y/n! It's so nice to meet you" he exclaimed in excitement, his deep voice a total contrast to his warm nature. Before you could react, he opened his arms and hugged you tight.

"Geez, Felix let her breathe" Seungmin mouthed, patting his friend on the back. Quickly, you were set free again and Felix bowed.

"I'm sorry" he mumbled. But you waved him off. "It's okay. I love hugs" you winked at him in a friendly manner.

The blond haired lead the way further into their home and stopped in their dining room which was connected to their kitchen. The other members looked up as you entered.

"Hey, nice to meet you all" you said shyly, not being used to have eight pairs of eyes on you.

"Hello Y/n! Seungmin already told us so much about you" their leader named Chan greeted you with kindness, offering you a seat at the dining table.

The man with longer black hair was still preparing the food, cutting up some fruits and vegetables while Chan stirred something in one of the pots. Two other members reached behind the counter and quickly stole some fruit slices as the black haired wasn't looking.

"Ya! Seo Changbin and Han Jisung! You can eat soon enough you gluttons" he scolded, you assumed that was Minho, while waving the knife in the air.

"I'm hungry!" Changbin exclaimed with a pout.

"You're always hungry" you heard Felix complain.

Seungmin sighed next to you burying his face in his hands. "See? That's why I warned you beforehand."

The youngest, Jeongin, the one with orangey dyed hair smiled widely at you. "So, you're the one Seungmin got pregnant?"

You nodded with a wink. "Jup that's me."

"I wonder how he could get someone so pretty like you to sleep with him" he laughed even more when he got a deadly look from Seungmin.

Seungmin just sighed while Hyunjin appeared in front of you. "You look gorgeous in this dress!" He squealed with a radiant smile.

"Thanks" you mumbled shyly.

"How far along are you? You're already having this cute baby bump" he asked, curiously, gesturing to your belly.

"Fifteen weeks already" you replied, gazing at your swollen belly with a tender look. Hyunjin coped at you, questioning if he maybe can touch your belly.

"Oh my god. I didn't think it would be rather hard! I thought they should be soft" he exclaimed, eyes wide open in a curious manner.

"Ey, Hyunjin. Don't be rude to Y/n!" Seungmin chimed in from the other part of the room.

The other male gasped dramatically. "I'm not rude! I'm curious"

You giggled at Seungmin's protectiveness, thinking about it as a sign of care. "It's okay. I don't mind."

"Alright. Dinner's ready" Minho announced and together with Chan, he brought the filled pots to the table. The others, especially Jisung suddenly appeared at the table like they were summoned by the smell of food. Seungmin took the seat right next to you, helping you to sit down comfortably and already filling your plate.

His members watched in awe as they never have seen their second youngest take care of someone so naturally. They weren't blind. They saw how Seungmin looked at you, the smitten gaze spoke for itself.

"Did you find out the gender yet?" Changbin asked, shoveling food into his mouth. You shook your head.

"No, not yet. But we're about to find out at the next appointment" you mused, turning slightly to Seungmin who smiled proudly. "I can't wait" he murmured, brushing a strand of hair out of his face.

"What about a gender reveal? Have you thought about making one?" Hyunjin asked curiously. You blinked. Actually, you never considered having a gender reveal party at all. But know, as it was brought up, you liked the idea.

"Oh please! I can help with decorating or organising" Jisung exclaimed excitedly, jumping up and down in his seat. Seungmin just shook his head but couldn't contain the smile on his lips.

"I never thought about it but I like the idea." Jisung pumped his fist into the air as he cheered. "I'm going to do some snacks" Minho mumbled, already planning out some finger food in his head.

"And I'm going to make brownies and cookies!" Felix exclaimed.

"Thank you guys. I really appreciate it" the others cooed at you.

"No need to thank us. You are now a part of our weird and chaotic family" Chan grinned.

As the evening went on, you got to know the members more and more. Sure, they were chaotic but so kindhearted as well. Even though Minho acted cool and collected, you saw how much he wanted to make you comfortable.

And Seungmin mostly stayed by your side, even bringing you another water whenever your glass was empty. The way his fingers brushed yours created butterflies in your chest and a redness on your cheeks.

It was almost midnight when you let yourself be pulled up from the soft couch by Seungmin and decided that it was finally time to go home. Sanha had already called you in worry, asking if they had whisked you away and if she should come and get you. But you declined.

"You have such a great group of friends." You said as you sat in Seungmin's car, on the way back to you. "Yeah, they always help me. Over the years, they somehow became my second family. And I'm so glad that you got along with them" he laughed, focusing on the streets.

"How couldn't I? They were so kind. And I hope they like me"

"Oh, don't worry. They already liked you from what I've told them" he winked at you, stopping the car at the red traffic lights. That gave him enough time to look at you fully again, at your face that was shining with a tender smile that brought a warmth into his chest.

"Puh, I hope so. I like you all already" you giggled. "I like you too" Seungmin blurted out without thinking. "- I mean. We. We like you too" he stuttered, heart beating fast as he corrected himself, hoping that you didn't hear what he had said.

The blush on his cheeks was cute, you thought. But before you could answer anything, the car stopped in the parking lot of your apartment building.

"Come, I bring you upstairs" he suggested and held your door open like a gentleman. The short way to your apartment door was silent but before you could unlock your front door, he stopped you, his fingers closing gently around your wrist.

"Y/n. I-" he stilled again, forming the words properly in his thoughts. "What I wanted to say was thank you. I'm thankful that you are doing this with me, even if we wanted to or not. You will be such a great mother and I'm so glad that the little bean is going to have you as their mother"

You stilled in your tracks, not having expected such a statement from him. But nonetheless, it made your heart jump in your chest.

"Thank you. You are going to be a good father too. I'm lucky that you support me like this" you gave him a gently smile and could see how his own gaze shot to your lips for a moment. And then another. It was like a strange force was pulling him to you, like a bee was pulled to the sweet scent of a flower. Your own eyes watched how he licked over his lips with his tongue and then, how his adam's apple bobbed up and down.

His face was only inches away and you unconsciously puckered your lips. Before he could finally overcome the small distance that separated you, your phone rang loud and sharp, causing you both to flinch away. The magic was broken and you sighed as you answered Sanha.

"Where the hell are you? You texted that you were about to be here in about 15 minutes!" Your best friend exclaimed, huffing out air.

"I'm right in front of my door. Just give me a minute" with that, you dropped your phone again, returning to the awkward silence between you and Seungmin.

He cleared his throat and scratched his head awkwardly. "I should probably get going" he mumbled, already turning around to head back to his car.

"Seungmin wait!" You called, causing him to stop in his tracks. "You know that you called our baby 'little bean', right?" Grinning, you wiggled with your eyebrows in a mocking manner.

Seungmin snorted, shaking his head. "Come on. It was just one time!"

"I knew you would like that nickname more than puppy!" You giggled, teasing him.

He groaned playfully. "I like both of them, okay?" He defended, but a smile was decorating his lips.

"Of course you do" with that you shut the door behind you after saying goodnight. Immediately, Sanha stood in front of you, hands on her hips and that teasing smile on her lips.

"What did you do out there? Was that Seungmin's voice?" she desperately wanted to know.

You giggled at her excited face. "Yes, why?" She squealed, clapping her hands in anticipation. "Did you kiss? Did he kiss you" she grabbed your arms and came closer, jumping up and down.

You shook your head. "No. Why should he? We are friends, nothing more. Nothing less" she pouted sadly.

"Come on. You can't tell me that you don't find him attractive"

You sighed, slipping out of your shoes. "Well, I can't lie- he is attractive. But I'm just a woman he accidentally impregnated. He isn't going to catch feelings for me." You told her honestly, plopping down onto the sofa.

"Really? I have a different impression" she stated, yawning and cuddling up beside you.

──────── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ────────

author's note: Okay, I originally thought that this little series only has two parts. Turns out, I had so many ideas that I couldn't fit them into these two parts🙈

taglist:

@sammhisphere @staytinyarmy @cherrycat-h

[desi2go]

A masterpiece 🫶🏼 I cried so much while reading it but it's soooo good!

Until I die...

Pairings: Boyfriend!Hongjoong x Fem!Reader

Genre: Heavy Angst, drama, infidelity, illness.

wc: 12,7k

Summary: You loved him more than anything, even when you knew he was slowly falling out of love with you. You kept quiet through the heartbreak. Through the illness. You worked through your pain and smiled so no one would worry. But when your time began to run out, you did the only thing you could do: Leave something behind for each person you loved.

Warnings: Angst (heavy), Terminal illness/death of main character, Grief and loss, Medical descriptions (mild, non-graphic) Infidelity (Hongjoong cheats on reader) Emotional abuse/neglect from a romantic partner, Depressive thoughts/emotional pain, Bittersweet ending

a/n: Hi, lovely readers! I just want to start by saying… yes, I did cry while writing this. And yes, I do enjoy writing angst.

I know, I know—maybe I need help. Or a hug. Or both. I sincerely hope you enjoyed it (even if it broke your heart into a thousand sharp little pieces).

If you liked it, please let me know—scream in the comments, throw tissues at me, or, you know, ask me to write more angst. I’ll probably say yes and suffer through it again for you 🥲

Join my Taglist: Here

“I’m sorry, what?” You ask again, slower this time, your voice barely a whisper.

The words don’t sound real. They hang in the air like fog, thick and heavy, impossible to breathe in.

The doctor shifts forward, his eyes full of practiced sympathy.

“Your tests confirm late-stage Acute Myeloid Leukemia,” He says gently. “It’s... blood cancer, Miss Kang.”

Blood cancer.

Your mouth opens slightly, but no words come out. You blink once. Twice.

Blood. Cancer.

That can’t be right. You only came here because you’d been dizzy for a few days, a little fatigued. Bruising easier than usual, sure, but you thought maybe it was just anemia. Or a flu. Overwork.

Not cancer. Never cancer.

He keeps talking, though you barely hear a word.

“There are some medical options,” He continues, his tone careful. “Low-dose chemotherapy, mostly for symptom control at this stage. A possible stem cell transplant, but the success rate is low given how advanced it is. We can also refer you to hospice care to prioritize your comfort—”

His voice fades. Distant. Like he’s underwater.

Your eyes are fixed on the floor, and your hands are gripping the edges of the chair even though you can't feel them anymore.

You should be crying. You should be panicking. But your brain... it’s stuck on something else.

Three months. ATEEZ’s comeback is in three months.

You’re part of the production team. There’s producing meetings, recording timelines. You promised to check Hongjoong’s revised lyrics tomorrow—he worked so hard on that track.

You can’t die. Not now. Not when things are just getting good for them.

And Yeosang. Your brother’s birthday is next month. He’s turning twenty six. You haven’t even gotten his gift. He mentioned wanting a custom watch—it was expensive, but you were going to surprise him.

And then, of course, Hongjoong.

Your boyfriend. Nearly two years together, though lately he’s been... distant. Busy. Distracted. You haven’t even told him how sick you’ve been feeling.

You blink again. Was it really just a flu?

Your nails dig into your palms.

Cancer.

You're dying.

But all you can think about is how you’re going to fit chemo into a production meeting. How you’ll cover for your absences so no one—especially he—notices.

You don’t want to be a burden. You just want to hold onto what little you have left.

“Miss Kang?” The doctor’s voice pulls you back. You force yourself to meet his eyes.

He’s waiting—waiting for you to fall apart, maybe. Waiting for grief to flood in.

But all you say is: “Can I go now? I have a deadline.”

He hesitates “Of course. But we do recommend starting treatment as soon as possible—”

“I don't want any, don't want to be a burden.”

You stand. Your knees nearly give out, but you mask it with a quick breath and a weak smile. Your hands are trembling as you gather your things. You don't even remember putting your bag down.

As you step out into the hallway, the lights feel too bright, the world too loud. Your phone buzzes.

Joongie🖤: Studio all night. don't wait up.

You stare at the message, expression unreadable.

Cancer. Blood cancer. You’re dying.

But all you reply is: “Okay, love you.”

⋆⋅☆⋅⋆

You’re in the booth with Mingi and Seonghwa, helping them smooth out a harmony layer on the bridge. The air is dry, heavy with the static buzz of fluorescent lights and the faint hum of the condenser mic.

You’ve run the track three times now—your eyes are tired, your head pounds, and there’s a high ringing in your ears you’ve been trying to ignore since morning.

You press the intercom “One more run, okay? Then we’ll double it and move on.”

They both nod, focused and trusting. It’s a rhythm you’ve shared for years. But just as Seonghwa hits the high note and Mingi drops into the lower octave, it happens.

A sharp sting behind your nose. Then a slow, warm trickle.

You blink.

Red.

It stains your fingers before you realize what’s happening—your hand comes away wet. The blood drips onto the soundboard, splashing across the control dial.

“Shit—” You mutter, jerking your head up.

Seonghwa is the first to notice. His expression shifts in an instant from focused to horrified. He yanks his headphones off and rushes out of the booth, pulling tissues from the stack beside the mixing desk.

“Oh my god, are you okay?” He asks, gently pressing the tissues to your face. His hands are warm and steady, but his voice is tight with concern.

“I’m fine,” You say quickly, trying to laugh but your throat is dry. “It’s probably just the heat. You know how weather messes with your sinuses sometimes.”

Seonghwa doesn’t reply right away. He just looks at you. And in that moment, you know he doesn’t buy it, not really. The little crease between his brows gives him away.

Before he can press further, the booth door creaks open. Mingi’s head pops out, brows raised.

“What happened?”

“Just a little nosebleed,” You call out, raising a hand with a thumbs-up, blood still drying on your knuckles. “Nothing major. Give me a sec and we’ll get back to the recording.”

Mingi hesitates, his gaze flicking between you and Seonghwa, who’s still crouched in front of you with stained tissues.

“You sure? You look… pale.”

“I’m always pale,” You tease with a smile, trying to lighten the mood. “Studio lighting hates me.”

They chuckle a little, but it’s thin. Tense. The kind of laugh you give when you want something to be normal, even though it clearly isn’t.

You clean the soundboard with a tissue, careful not to smear the blood further. Your hands are trembling just slightly, but you hope neither of them notice.

And then, just like that, you sit back down, press the intercom, and say:

“Let’s go again.”

The room is quiet for a beat. Then Mingi sighs and slips the headphones on. Seonghwa does the same, reluctantly taking his seat. He watches you for a second longer before turning away.

You don’t scream. You don’t cry. You don’t explain the pounding in your chest or the ache crawling up your legs.

You just breathe, press play, and pretend that nothing is wrong.

But you can feel their eyes on you now—careful, worried, watching.

And for the first time this week, you wonder how much longer you’ll be able to keep pretending.

⋆

It’s almost midnight when you finally step into the smaller recording studio, the familiar hum of wires and soft glow of monitor lights greeting you like an old friend.

Hongjoong is already there, seated at the mixing desk, headphones draped around his neck, scrolling through the demo layers with an expression you know too well.

Focused. Detached. Somewhere far away from you, even though you’re in the same room.

You haven’t seen him properly in days—just quick glances in hallways, brief texts about edits or schedules. It’s been weeks since he kissed you goodnight. Months since you felt like you had his full attention.

Still, tonight matters. It’s your first one-on-one session in over a week. Sure, it’s for work. But it’s him. And you’ve missed him so much it aches.

You walk in quietly, clutching your notepad and tablet. Your legs feel like lead. Your bones hurt. You would give anything to sleep, just sleep for twenty-four hours straight.

But none of that matters now. Because he’s here. And you want to be here with him.

“You’re late,” He murmurs without turning around.

You blink, caught off guard “Only by five minutes.”

He doesn’t answer. Just clicks into the instrumental and adjusts his mic levels.

You set your things down and take your place behind the desk, syncing the track. Your fingers move on instinct, but your vision blurs slightly when you glance down, the lights of the soundboard feel too bright, the colors too sharp.

“You look tired,” Hongjoong says, finally glancing at you. His tone isn’t warm. It’s not concerned. It’s just… an observation.

“I am,” You answer honestly, letting the words hang between you. You’re hoping—just hoping—he’ll soften, just a little.

Ask why. Ask what’s wrong. But he doesn’t.

He shrugs “We all are.”

Right.

You nod, biting the inside of your cheek “Let’s do a run-through, yeah?”

He nods once and heads into the booth, you hit record.

The beat pulses through the speakers, his voice layering smoothly over the base. He’s good, always has been, and this track is personal for him. You can feel it in the way he bites down on each verse, dragging emotion into the syllables.

And yet, as he sings about struggle and perseverance, about finding light in the dark, your chest burns. You wonder if he means a single word of it anymore.

The second take ends. He peeks out of the booth, resting his hands on the doorframe.

“How’s the timing?” He asks.

You try to answer, but your mouth feels dry. Your head is pounding. The room is spinning just enough to make you feel unstable.

You clear your throat “It’s good. You hit that second verse cleaner this time.”

He nods. No smile. No praise. Just a nod.

You stare at him for a second longer, heart thudding, and finally whisper, “I missed you.”

It slips out before you can stop it. Small. Vulnerable.

He blinks “What?”

You force a smile “I said the mix is almost done. Just need to level out the chorus.”

Lie. Coward’s version of the truth. He doesn’t press. Just turns away, going back to the booth.

You exhale, shakily. Look down at your hands. They're trembling again. You close your eyes and rest your head in your arms for a second, just a second, but Hongjoong’s voice through the mic pulls you back up.

“Don’t sleep on me,” He says—light, almost teasing.

But there’s no affection behind it. No warmth.

Just a reminder.

You're not his girlfriend tonight. You're the producer.

You swallow the lump in your throat and press record again.

And you wonder how it’s possible to be this close to someone you love and still feel so completely alone.

⋆⋅☆⋅⋆

It’s rare to have a quiet evening, let alone a meal outside the studio. But Yeosang insisted.

“You’ve been skipping too many dinners,” He said when he called. “I’m picking you up at seven. No excuses.”

You didn’t have the strength to argue, not today. Not after another dizzy spell in the breakroom. Not after you caught a glimpse of yourself in the mirror and barely recognized the pale, fragile version staring back.

So now, you're sitting across from him in a small Japanese restaurant, the kind you both used to visit when you were younger.

It’s warm, quiet, the kind of place that smells like miso and nostalgia. He orders for both of you—he always does—and you let him, too tired to pretend you care about the menu.

He chats about Ateez's schedules, about San’s newest obsession with cooking, about the funny disaster that was Wooyoung’s attempt at laundry this week.

You nod and laugh in the right places. But your limbs are heavy, your stomach barely handling the miso soup you’re swirling in front of you.

Then it happens. You reach for the cup of tea, and your hoodie sleeve slides up. Just a few inches.

But it’s enough.

The yellow-purple bloom of the bruise on your forearm is stark against your skin, impossible to miss.

Yeosang goes still. His eyes lock onto it, and for a moment, he doesn't say anything, just stares.

Then his voice drops, cold and quiet “What happened to your arm?”

You freeze. Quickly pull your sleeve back down.

“It’s nothing,” You say with a too-fast shrug. “I—uh—I hit it on the kitchen counter a few days ago.”

He doesn’t blink. Doesn’t believe you.

“In the kitchen?”

You nod “Yeah. Just… clumsy, you know?”

He leans back in his seat slowly, watching you carefully now. His jaw tightens.

“You sure that’s it?”

You blink “What else would it be?”

He doesn’t answer. But you see it. That flicker in his eyes. That horrible, fleeting thought that passes through his mind.

Did someone do this to you?

Did he?

“Yeosang,” You say quietly, reaching across the table to touch his hand. “It’s not what you’re thinking.”

“I’m not thinking anything,” He lies, voice tight.

“Yes, you are. And I promise, no one hurt me. Especially not Hongjoong.”

You smile. It takes effort. It hurts.

He doesn’t smile back “I’m your older brother,” He says after a long silence. “If something was wrong, you’d tell me, right?”

You nod “Of course.”

But the truth is already rotting inside you. It’s in your blood. Your bones. The way you can’t even finish a bowl of soup without feeling like you’re going to collapse.

And it’s killing you—slowly, quietly.

And you're lying to the one person who would do anything to save you.

—

The mirrors are fogged at the edges, the air thick with the rhythm of stomping feet and sharp breaths. The members of ATEEZ are halfway through the final run of their choreography when San finally calls for a break, dropping to the floor with a dramatic groan.

“Five minutes,” The choreographer calls out. “Drink water. Stretch. Don’t die.”

Yeosang wipes the sweat off his forehead, reaching for his water bottle, but his eyes keep flickering to Hongjoong—the leader sitting off in the corner, completely checked out, thumbs tapping away at his phone like the world around him doesn’t exist.

He sighs. Something’s been off for weeks—with you, with him.

The bruise on your arm flashes in his memory again. Too dark. Too fresh. Too big for a simple kitchen bump.

He swallows and turns to Seonghwa and Mingi, who are stretching nearby.

“Can I ask you guys something?” He says, keeping his voice low.

Mingi nods, looking up “What’s up?”

“It’s about my sister,” Yeosang says slowly, choosing each word. “Has she seemed… off lately to you?”

The moment the question leaves his mouth, Seonghwa stills. Mingi, too. Then Seonghwa shifts, sitting up straight.

“What do you mean by ‘off’?”

Yeosang hesitates “She had this bruise on her arm this afternoon. Big one. Said it happened in the kitchen, but... I don’t know. She’s pale. She barely touched her food. She looked like she was going to fall asleep at the table.”

Mingi makes a noise—not quite surprised, not quite confused “Dude,” He says, glancing at Seonghwa. “She had a nosebleed the other day. In the recording booth. Just started bleeding mid-take.”

“And she said it was because of the heat,” Seonghwa adds with a frown. “But I don’t know, man. She looked exhausted. Like, barely-standing, exhausted.”

Yeosang’s expression darkens “She told me she was fine. Said she was just tired.”

“She’s always tired lately,” Seonghwa murmurs. “She’s not okay.”

Mingi nods “You think something’s going on? Like… is she sick or something?”

“I don’t know,” Yeosang admits. “But I’m going to find out.”

In the silence that follows, they all glance toward Hongjoong.

Still glued to his phone. Still tapping out replies, smiling faintly at something on the screen—completely unaware of the conversation happening a few feet away.

“Should we tell him?” Mingi asks quietly.

Yeosang watches Hongjoong for a long beat. Then he shakes his head.

“He won’t care. Not right now.”

Seonghwa frowns “You think something’s going on with him too?”

Yeosang doesn’t answer. Because he already knows the truth—or at least part of it. He sees the distance.

The coldness. The way you still light up when you talk about Hongjoong, like you’re trying to convince yourself he's still the man you love. And the way Hongjoong barely even looks at you anymore.

He sees it all.

And he’s afraid of what it might mean.

⋆⋅☆⋅⋆

The door closes behind you with a soft click.

You drop your bag by the entrance and lean against the wall, breath trembling. Your whole body aches—not the usual muscle strain or fatigue from long days. It's deeper. Like your bones are rotting from the inside out.

You peel off your hoodie slowly, wincing as the sleeve sticks to the sweat on your arms. Bruises decorate your skin like splattered ink. New ones, old ones, all unexplained.

The apartment is quiet. Too quiet.

No shoes by the door but your own. No low humming from the kitchen. No Hongjoong.

You told yourself he was busy. You keep telling yourself that.

You shuffle to the bathroom and stare at your reflection. Your skin is pale, almost gray under the fluorescent light. You look like a ghost wearing your face.

There’s blood on your upper lip. Again.

You don't even flinch this time. You just grab some tissues and press hard. Your nose is getting used to this.

Your phone buzzes on the counter. Another voicemail from the hospital. You press play.

“Hi, we’re following up on your last test results. We strongly advise reconsidering treatment options. The sooner we start, the better your chances of—”

You press delete. You already told them no.

What’s the point of prolonging what can’t be saved?

Chemo would only destroy what little normalcy you have left. The hair, the strength, the time—what’s the use if there’s no real chance? If you’ll die anyway?

You sit on the floor. Cold tiles against your back. The room spins for a second. You blink through it. You open the notes app on your phone. Not to write a letter—not yet. But you type a single sentence:

“If I die tonight, would he even notice?”

You don’t cry. You’re too tired to cry. Instead, you crawl into bed in one of Hongjoongs’ shirts, and you curl up with your sickness like it’s the only thing that hasn’t abandoned you.

You whisper into the dark “I don’t want to die like this.”

And you fall asleep with the taste of blood in your throat and nothing but silence to hold you.

⋆⋅☆⋅⋆

It’s nearly 2 a.m. The building is quiet, everyone else long gone. You’re still in your small studio, slouched in your chair, eyelids burning from hours of staring at the screen. You rub your temples, lean back, and play the track again.

Your eyes narrow. It’s missing something. Hongjoong’s verse. The one he promised to send by midnight.

You glance at the clock: 2:07 a.m. With a tired sigh, you drag yourself up and out. He’s probably still in his studio, working like always. Maybe he forgot to hit send.

Maybe… you just want to see him.

You walk quietly through the hallway, your oversized hoodie sleeves covering your trembling fingers. You’re exhausted, nauseous, and your body feels like lead—but you’re used to that by now.

When you reach his studio door, your hand pauses mid-air. It’s not fully shut. A crack of light seeps out.

Then you hear it.

A sound. A laugh. A muffled moan.

Your heart stops. Slowly, too slowly, you lean closer. Maybe he’s watching something. Maybe someone left a video playing. Maybe—But when you press your eye to the crack and tilt your head—You freeze.

She’s on his lap. Arms around his neck. Lips on his throat. His hands on her hips, his head thrown back, mouth open, soft groans escaping.

Your stomach flips violently.

He whispers something. Something soft, a voice you haven't heard in weeks—the way he used to talk to you.

“You’re driving me crazy, baby. Can’t get enough of you.”

Your world tilts. You don’t scream. You don’t make a sound. You take a step back. And another. And another. You walk away before they can see you. Before he can see what he’s done.

Your hand covers your mouth, the hallway spinning around you.

You stumble back to your studio. The file’s still open. Hongjoong’s verse still missing. Like you’re missing.

You don’t cry. You don’t delete the track. You close the laptop gently, like it’s fragile.

Because if you break one thing, you might not stop.

⋆

The next day, you show up right on time. Hair brushed, hoodie clean, headphones slung around your neck.

No one would guess that you barely slept, that you spent the night curled up on the studio floor because you physically couldn’t make it home.

Hongjoong arrives ten minutes late. He barely glances at you when he walks in, phone in hand, cap low over his eyes.

You smile at him anyway. Smile. Even if it’s broken. Even if he doesn’t look at you.

“You ready to record your part today?” You ask, tapping your notes like your heart isn’t crumbling.

He nods casually, pulling out his water bottle and warming up his voice “Yeah. Just the bridge, right?”

You hum in agreement, adjusting the mic settings “Mmhm. Also… just checking, you still remember about our dinner on Friday?”

That catches his attention for a second. He looks up “Dinner?”

Your stomach knots. Your hand tightens around the pen “The one I booked a month ago. That place near the Han River? You made me promise not to cancel, even if work got heavy?”

A pause. A flicker of hesitation in his eyes “Ah… yeah. Of course I remember. I’ll be there.”

And just like that, he goes back to humming into the mic.

You nod, smiling again.

Of course he’ll be there. Of course he said that.

Because you’re still pretending. And he’s still pretending. And both of you are very good at acting.

But that Friday it wasn't what you expected to be.

You spent two hours getting ready. Even put on makeup, something you haven’t done in weeks. Your legs feel like glass, and your skin is bruising under your sweater sleeves, but you still curl your hair and pick the perfume he once said he loved.

You arrive early, of course. The restaurant is soft-lit, romantic. There’s a tiny candle flickering on the table you reserved a month ago.

You order water. You wait.

Fifteen minutes.

Thirty.

An hour.

You check your phone. No messages. No calls. No apologies.

The candle flickers lower. The server comes by for the third time and finally asks, gently:

“Would you like to order something? Or…?”

You smile at him “No, thank you. I think… I’m not really hungry anymore.”

You pay for both meals you didn’t order, just in case he shows up later.

When you get home that night, your phone finally buzzes. You’re already curled under your blanket, still wearing the clothes you picked for your date.

Joongie 🖤: "Sorry. Something came up. We’ll reschedule next month."

You stare at the screen. Your heart doesn’t break, it simply stops trying. A bitter chuckle slips from your lips.

“I’ll probably be dead next month.”

And then you roll over and close your eyes.

Alone.

—

The soft creak of the front door wakes you.

Your eyes flutter open, your body sinking deeper into the mattress before you force yourself up. Every bone protests. Your limbs feel too heavy, your joints throb. There’s a ringing in your ears again—low, constant—like a warning.

But still, you sit up. Because it’s him.

Maybe you’re foolish. Maybe you’re still waiting for the version of him who once held your hand in packed rooms, who left sleepy kisses on your forehead, who whispered “I love you” like it was sacred.

Maybe you’re just hoping he’ll look at you the same way again.

Barefoot, you walk across the cold floor. Your oversized sweater slips from one shoulder, the fabric brushing against skin that bruises too easily now. The lights in the living room are dim, but you see him.

Hongjoong. Standing near the coat rack, pulling off his hoodie with a long, tired sigh.

You stop in the doorway “Where were you?” Your voice is soft. Not angry. Just… quiet. Worn down.

He doesn’t look at you when he answers “Working.”

You glance at the clock. 3:47 a.m. You scoff—not with bitterness, but disbelief.

“It’s almost four, Hongjoong.”

That makes him turn, eyes sharp with irritation.

“I have a comeback on my fucking shoulders. Of course I’m staying late.”

The words bite, but you try to swallow it down “I know, I— I wasn’t trying to—”

“I already said sorry,” He snaps, tossing his hoodie carelessly onto the couch. “Don’t start nagging me about forgetting the damn dinner.”

“I’m not,” You murmur. “I just… didn’t think you’d actually come home tonight.”

That’s all you meant. Just that. Not an accusation. Not even a disappointment. Just honesty.

But something in him bristles like you lit a match near his fuse. He turns fully to you, and for a second, the air leaves your lungs. You smell it—faint but distinct—alcohol.

And worse, you see it: darkened skin just above his collar, smudged and uneven, red-purple hickeys that his t-shirt doesn’t fully cover.

Your heart drops to your stomach. Still… you say nothing. Because if you speak, you might scream.

“You are complaining,” He says suddenly, voice rising. “That’s all you do lately. You’re always tired, always acting like the world’s ending—”

“I’m not acting—” You breathe, voice cracking. But he doesn’t let you finish.

“We’re all tired,” He barks. “You think you’re the only one going through shit? Everyone’s stressed. Everyone’s working. But no one else is dragging it around like some pathetic excuse.”

That word—pathetic—splits something in your chest.

“I didn’t know I was an excuse to you,” You whisper.

He scoffs like you’re being dramatic “God, you’ve been so exhausting lately. You don’t even look like yourself. You’ve lost weight, you’re pale all the time, you’ve got these dark circles under your eyes. You look… sick.”

You are sick.

But he doesn’t know that. Because you never told him. Because he never asked.

“If something’s wrong with you, just say it already,” He huffs. “Stop walking around like some damn ghost expecting me to coddle you.”

You feel it in your chest now—the slow, suffocating sting of grief folding into itself.

Your voice breaks when you speak again “It’s been almost a month since we really talked. Since we existed together. I planned that night for us, Joong. I just… I miss you.”

He looks at you like he’s staring through a window. Cold. Detached.

“See? Complaining again.”

Your heart splinters. And in that moment, you understand.

He’s already gone. He left you long ago. Now he’s just looking for reasons to make it your fault. You nod, almost imperceptibly. Your throat burns, but you force your lips into a flat line.

“Okay,” You whisper. “Sorry.”

And you walk away. Back to your room. Back to the bed made just for the two of you—that’s held only one body for weeks now.

You collapse onto the mattress, curling into yourself. And this time, you don’t hold back the tears.

⋆⋅☆⋅⋆

Three days have passed since that night.

Since the night you finally let the tears fall—not because of the war inside your blood, but because of something far more painful: losing Hongjoong.

You hadn't realized how much he meant to you until the silence between you turned permanent. You hadn't cried for your illness… but for him, you broke.

And since that night, things have only gotten worse.

The nosebleeds are more frequent now. Your bones ache just from getting dressed. Bruises blossom across your skin from the gentlest touch, like a whisper of pain stitched into every cell.

The dizziness never leaves, and somewhere deep inside, you know: You're running out of time.

So you start moving. You make a list in your head of the things that matter. The things you must do before it’s too late. And at the top of that list… is Yeosang.

Today, you drag Yeosang to the largest mall in Seoul, ignoring his annoyed sighs as he follows you across the marble floors.

He mumbles something about how the two of you should be at the company, you doing the last track’s reviews and how he should be at the dance studio.

But you wave it off with a smirk and keep pulling him along until you’re both standing in front of a luxurious watch display.

You point at the glass case and ask, “Which one do you like?”

Yeosang looks at you suspiciously, eyes narrowing slightly “Why are you asking me that?”

You grin “Just pick one.”

He frowns, shifting his weight onto one foot “You don’t have to buy me something expensive, you know. My birthday’s not even here yet, it’s in three weeks.”

“I know,” You reply, voice soft but steady. “But I want it to be ready by the exact day. It’s custom-made, so it’ll take time.”

Yeosang sighs, though there’s a small smile tugging at his lips now “You’re impossible.”

Still, he looks at the collection and nods toward a sleek silver watch with delicate engraving.

“That one. It’s simple. I like it.”

You nod back, but before you can say anything else, the world sways under your feet.

Your vision goes fuzzy, the lights above blurring into streaks of white. You try to blink it away, try to steady yourself… but your body gives out before you can say a word.

Yeosang catches you before you hit the floor.

—

The rhythmic beeping of the monitor fills the hospital room, calm and cold. Yeosang sits beside your bed, elbows resting on his knees, hands clasped tightly as if holding himself together.

He’s been sitting like that for almost two hours now, unmoving except to occasionally glance at your pale, unconscious face.

He didn’t panic when you fainted. Not at first. He carried you to the car, drove like a madman, shouted your name again and again. But nothing prepared him for what the doctor would say.

When the door finally opens, Yeosang stands immediately. The doctor asks him to step outside, but Yeosang shakes his head and says flatly.

“Just tell me. Say it here.”

There’s a pause. Then the doctor exhales slowly “Your sister has acute lymphoblastic leukemia,” He says quietly. “Advanced stage.”

Yeosang doesn’t move. The words don’t make sense. They bounce around in his skull like static.

“No,” He mutters. “She would’ve told me. That’s not— She… she would’ve said something.”

The doctor’s expression doesn’t change “She was diagnosed two weeks ago. She refused chemotherapy, declined transplant and long-term treatments. She didn’t want to go through the medical process.”

“She didn’t want to fight?” Yeosang snaps, his voice cracking. “Why wouldn’t she fight?”

“She made it very clear she didn’t want to burden anyone, she just accepted the risks.”

Yeosang takes a sharp breath, but it doesn’t reach his lungs. He turns his eyes toward you again.

You look so small. So still. The same girl who used to sneak into his bed as a child whenever there was thunder.

The same one who’d sing off-key just to make him laugh. The one who held his hand during their parents’ worst fights and promised she’d always be there.

Now she was slipping through his fingers. And he hadn’t even noticed.

The doctor continues gently, “At this stage… it could be days. Maybe weeks. But it’s impossible to know. All I can say is… it won’t be long.”

Yeosang lowers himself into the chair again, slowly this time, as if his body can no longer hold him up.

His throat burns. His hands are shaking.

You, his little sister—the only person in the world who never asked him to be perfect, never judged him, never left—you were dying. And you didn’t even tell him.

Tears pool in his eyes, and for once, he doesn’t hide them. Doesn’t wipe them away.

He reaches out and takes your hand in his. It’s cold. But he holds it anyway, like maybe if he holds tight enough… you won’t let go.

—

You feel it before you see it—the weight of the world pressing down on your chest, your body heavy with exhaustion. Your eyelids flutter, slow and reluctant. The ceiling above you is unfamiliar… white, bright, sterile.

A hospital.

You sigh softly through your nose. So much for hiding it a little longer. Turning your head slightly, you already know who’s sitting there. You can feel him.

Yeosang.

He’s hunched forward, elbows on his knees, face buried in his hands, shoulders trembling. Silent sobs rack through him like he’s trying to hold in a scream that’s been locked inside his ribs for too long.

You blink, the sting in your eyes not from the room’s brightness but from what you’re seeing.

Yeosang is crying.

Not angry. Not yelling. Not scolding. Just crying.

And not the kind of crying you’ve seen when a choreography goes wrong or when stress cracks him for a second. No, this is deeper. Rawer. His heart is breaking in real time.

You know exactly why. And for a second, guilt slices through you sharper than anything the illness ever has. He must’ve talked to the doctor. He knows.

You swallow, throat dry. You try to speak, but your voice is barely there.

“Yeosang…”

He flinches at the sound of your voice, lifts his head, and his eyes lock onto yours like you’re a ghost he wasn’t sure he’d ever see again. And then—in one breath—he breaks.

He doesn’t say a word. He just stands and wraps his arms around you.

Carefully.

So gently, like he’s afraid you’ll disappear if he squeezes too hard. He buries his face into the crook of your neck, and you feel the wet heat of his tears soak into your hospital gown. His hands grip your back, trembling with everything he can’t say out loud.

You freeze, caught in that fragile second between comfort and collapse.

Because this is Yeosang. Your brother. Your protector. The one who always had it together, who never let anyone see the cracks in his armor. And now he’s holding you like the world has ended.

And in his eyes… maybe it has.

“I thought I had more time,” You whisper, your hand weakly brushing over his shoulder. “I didn’t want you to worry.”

He still doesn’t speak, only pulls you closer, and you feel it—the ache in his breath, the sobs he still tries to swallow down even now, even here.

You try to smile “I was going to tell you. Eventually.”

A shaky breath escapes him, and you finally hear his voice—hoarse and cracked and barely above a whisper.

“Why didn’t you let me fight with you?”

That’s when your heart shatters. Because there’s no good answer to that question. Only a dozen broken excuses, that you didn’t want him to suffer, that you didn’t want to be the burden, that you didn’t want to see pity in his eyes.

That you wanted to protect him.

But now he’s holding you like he’s the one who needs saving. You lean your head against his shoulder and let yourself cry too, just a little.

“I’m sorry,” You murmur. “I didn’t want you to watch me fall apart.”

His arms tighten just enough to make your breath catch “I’d rather watch you fall apart… than lose you without even knowing you were slipping away.”

He’s never said anything so honest to you before. He’s never needed to.

And now you lie there in his arms, the beeping of machines ticking off seconds you can’t promise to survive, and think about all the things you wanted to do—all the people you have to say goodbye to.

But for now, you let yourself just be his sister.

And let him cry.

Because sometimes, even the strongest ones break.

—

It’s been nearly twenty minutes since the tears finally stopped. Yeosang still hasn’t let go of you, but his sobs have faded into soft, steady breaths against your shoulder.

You rest your cheek gently against his hair, fingers combing through the strands like you used to when he couldn’t sleep as a kid. It’s soothing, for both of you.

Neither of you says anything for a while. Then, in a voice barely more than a whisper, you murmur, "Please don’t tell anyone."

He doesn’t move. But after a second, he replies quietly, "Why not? They’re your friends. They deserve to know."

You feel your throat tighten. He’s right, in theory. But theory doesn’t count for much when you’re the one dying.

"You should at least tell Hongjoong," He adds. "He’s your boyfriend."

That word—boyfriend—makes you freeze.

Is he?

The silence in the room grows louder. Because it’s not a matter of labels. You know the truth, or at least the truth that hurts the most.

He isn’t really yours anymore.

He’s probably out right now, laughing with her, forgetting how your fingers used to trace his skin, how you used to fall asleep listening to the rhythm of his breath.

He hasn’t called. Hasn’t texted. Not once since that night.

You blink away the burn behind your eyes "Especially him," You say, quieter now. "Don’t tell him anything."

Yeosang pulls back just enough to look at you. His eyes are tired, still red "Why not?"

You manage a hollow smile, one that doesn't quite reach your lips. "Just don't."

"Okay," Yeosang says gently.

You shrug, gaze drifting toward the window. The world outside is still spinning, oblivious to what’s happening here.

"Thank you."

Yeosang doesn’t argue. Instead, he just nods slowly and rests his forehead against yours.

"I’ll carry it with you." He whispers.

And you close your eyes—because even if your time is running out, for now, you’re not alone.

⋆⋅☆⋅⋆

You turn your head away, your voice no stronger than a breath.

“I don’t want to eat.”

Your fingers tremble where they clutch the blanket, but you hide them beneath the sheets, as if that will make you seem stronger than you feel.

Yeosang lets out a soft sigh, gentle but tired. You hear the quiet clink of the spoon as he places it back down on the tray.

“Sweetheart…” He says, reaching to brush a strand of hair from your forehead. “Just a little, okay? You need to eat.”

You don’t answer right away, the smell of the soup making your stomach churn.

“I don’t feel like it,” You murmur, eyes fixed on the wall across from you—anywhere but on him. “Everything tastes like metal.”

“I know,” He whispers, his voice tight with worry, “but you have to try.”

You hesitate. Then, without meeting his gaze, you sit up slightly and open your mouth. Just one bite.

He smiles weakly, bringing the spoon up “There’s my good girl.”

The warmth of the soup hits your tongue, bland and bitter, and you swallow with difficulty. It’s not the food that makes your eyes sting.

It’s the look in his.

It’s been three days since the doctors told you it was no longer safe for you to go home—not with how easily your body is giving up on you.

The dizzy spells, the nosebleeds, the bruises from brushing against doorframes… the way your bones feel like they’re crumbling from the inside out.

You wanted to protest. You had plans. You had things to finish.

But Yeosang insisted, and he hasn’t left since.

He comes early, brings you coffee even though he knows you barely sip it anymore, and forces you to take at least three bites of every meal.

After breakfast, he leaves for the company—but never without kissing your forehead like he used to when you scraped your knees as a kid.

He returns before nightfall, sometimes with books, sometimes with that sad smile he tries so hard to make look hopeful.

He sleeps on the couch in your hospital room now, no matter how many times you tell him to go home. He never listens.

And you love him for it. But the guilt, the overwhelming guilt, is a steady ache in your chest that no painkiller can touch.

Every time he walks through that door, every time he hides his puffy eyes behind a joke, every time he tucks your blanket up to your chin like he’s afraid you’ll vanish overnight…

You feel like a burden.

Like the weight of your dying is something he carries more than you do.

You glance at him now—his hands fidgeting with the spoon, his jaw clenched like he’s trying not to say something too heavy for the room.

You want to thank him. You want to tell him to stop. You want to ask him to leave before it gets worse.

But instead, you whisper, “Sorry.”

Yeosang turns his head sharply “For what?”

You shake your head slowly, sinking deeper into the pillows “For making you stay. For making you watch me like this.”

His face crumbles for a second, and then he gently places the spoon back on the tray and leans forward, taking your hand in both of his.

“Hey,” He says, voice trembling, “You’re not making me do anything. I’m here because I want to be. I’m here because I’m your brother. And I love you.”

His fingers tighten around yours “You’re not a burden. You’re the only reason I’m holding it together.”

Your lips part, but the lump in your throat makes it impossible to speak.

And still… the ache doesn’t go away.

Because no matter what he says, you see it in his face. The fear. The grief. The knowing.

You’re slipping, and he knows it.

⋆

The energy in the company feels… off.

It’s subtle at first. A quiet kind of absence. Like someone turned the volume down on the whole room.

You haven’t shown up in days—no messages, no check-ins, no complaints about how overworked you are, or how the coffee always tastes like burnt water.

Just silence. A hole in the atmosphere no one seems to want to name yet.

“Did she take a sudden vacation?” Wooyoung mumbles, peering at the shared project calendar on the studio screen. “She didn’t say anything to me…”

“She didn’t say anything to anyone,” Seonghwa answers, brow furrowed as he scrolls through his texts. “I messaged her two nights ago. No reply.”

“She didn’t even complain about Mingi messing up the last track?” Wooyoung asks, suddenly alert.

Seonghwa shakes his head “Nothing.”

That alone is strange. You always replied to Seonghwa. Even just with a thumbs up or a meme. The realization settles heavily between them.

Then there’s Yeosang.

He’s here, technically. Sitting through meetings, nodding at updates, eyes staring at whatever screen is in front of him.

But he hasn’t made a single joke all week. He hasn’t even complained about the lunch orders.

And his eyes… They’re always red. Always tired. Not the ‘I slept late’ kind of tired—the kind that looks like he’s been fighting off the weight of the world.

They all noticed the bandage on his hand too. A small thing, easily missed—except he’s been picking at it, like his mind isn’t even in the same room as his body.

In the recording studio, he flubs his lines. Not once, not twice—four times. Yeosang never messes up. Never.

By the fifth take, he mumbles an apology and pulls off the headphones, muttering something about needing air before walking out.

Silence follows him.

Wooyoung exchanges a look with Seonghwa “Something’s wrong.”

Seonghwa’s jaw is tight, his voice quiet “Yeah.”

—

The company building was quiet after hours, the fluorescent lights casting a cold glow over the empty hallways.

Most of the staff had gone home, but Seonghwa was still around, sorting through choreography notes.

Wooyoung, who’d gone to grab something from the vending machine, passed by one of the practice rooms when he caught sight of a familiar figure slumped in the corner, motionless.

He paused “Yeosang?”

No answer. He pushed the door open slowly, the faint sound of choked breathing slipping through the silence.

“Yeosang?” He repeated, softer this time.

That’s when he saw him. Yeosang was sitting on the floor, back against the mirror, knees pulled up, face buried in his hands.

His shoulders were shaking, his breaths ragged, and the tears—God, the tears—were pouring silently, as if they had been held in for far too long.

Wooyoung froze, the can of soda slipping from his hand and clattering to the floor.

“Yeo…”

Seonghwa heard the noise from down the hall and came quickly. When he stepped into the room and saw the sight before him, his heart dropped.

Yeosang didn’t even lift his head. He couldn’t.

He had held it together for days—for weeks. Through the hospital visits. Through the sleepless nights. Through every forced smile he gave the others so they wouldn’t ask questions.

But the moment he was alone, the weight became too heavy. Too sharp.

“Yeo,” Wooyoung said again, crouching down, touching his shoulder. “What happened? What’s wrong?”

Yeosang finally looked up, and both Seonghwa and Wooyoung felt their breath hitch. His eyes were bloodshot, cheeks damp, mouth trembling as if every word was a mountain.

“She’s dying,” He whispered.

Wooyoung blinked “What?”

Yeosang clutched his phone like a lifeline, and slowly, with shaking fingers, turned the screen toward them.

Your hospital ID. Your name. Your patient band. Your photo with that tired smile.

“She’s in the hospital,” He said, voice cracking. “It’s—it’s cancer. Blood cancer. And she didn’t tell anyone. She kept working like nothing was wrong. She didn’t even try treatment. She said she didn’t want to suffer.”

He paused, his whole body trembling.

“The doctor told me… she could go at any moment.”

The room went silent.

Wooyoung staggered back onto his heels, lips parted in shock “No… no, she’s—she was just here last week. Laughing. Messing with me in the recording studio. She can’t—she can’t be—”

“She is,” Yeosang choked out. “She is, and I—I have to watch it happen. Every day I go there and she smiles like she’s okay, like she’s not falling apart in front of me.”

Seonghwa stepped forward, heart clenched, crouching beside him. He wrapped an arm around Yeosang’s shoulders, grounding him with quiet strength.

“You’ve been going through this alone?”

“I didn’t know how to say it,” Yeosang admitted, voice barely audible. “I didn’t want to make it real.”

Wooyoung wiped at his eyes, trying to process the hurricane of grief building inside his chest. “Why didn’t she say anything to me…? I would've—”

“She didn’t want to be a burden,” Yeosang interrupted. “That’s what she told me. Can you believe that? She’s dying and she’s worried about burdening us.”

There was nothing else to say for a moment. Just silence. Just three broken hearts on a practice room floor.

Then Seonghwa pulled Yeosang into his arms fully, holding him tight as his tears returned full force. Wooyoung leaned in too, hand gripping his arm.

“You’re not alone in this,” Seonghwa whispered. “Not anymore.”

“We’ll be there,” Wooyoung added. “For both of you.”

And in the quietest part of the night, Yeosang let go.

He let it all out—the pain, the fear, the helplessness—into the hands of the only people who could understand.

Because this wasn’t just grief.

This was love. Cracked and bleeding.

And it was real.

⋆

There’s a sound tugging at you from sleep.

At first, it’s faint—like a whisper underwater. A low hum of voices and the quiet, broken rhythm of someone trying not to cry.

Then it gets sharper.

“…She’s sleeping, be quiet,” You hear Yeosang murmur, his voice strained.

“But how the hell am I supposed to—” Another voice cracks, shattering mid-sentence.

You frown softly, your eyes still closed, floating somewhere between consciousness and exhaustion. Then a sniffle. Then a choked sob. Muffled. Held in.

And you know. You know before you even open your eyes.

Slowly, you peel your lids open, vision blurry under the hospital room’s dim light. Your throat is dry. Your body aches in ways you’ve gotten used to.

But it’s not the pain that takes your breath—it’s the sight in front of you.

Three figures. Yeosang sitting at your bedside, pale and silent, his hand loosely holding yours. And just beside him, Seonghwa and Wooyoung.

Seonghwa’s eyes meet yours first, full of something that looks like mourning. As if you're already gone. His lips press into a thin line.

But it's Wooyoung who crumbles. The moment he sees your eyes flutter open, he breaks. A sob escapes his throat, and he covers his mouth with his hand as tears stream down his cheeks.

His body shakes. He turns his face away, ashamed, but it’s too late—the dam is broken.

“Woo…” You whisper, your voice barely there.

He walks toward you like a storm—fast, trembling, desperate. Then he collapses to his knees by your bed, burying his face in the side of your blanket.

“You idiot…” He cries, voice muffled. “You absolute idiot… how could you hide this from us?! From me?!”

You don't answer right away. You can't. Your heart aches more than your body, watching him fall apart like that—loud and vulnerable, the way only Wooyoung ever is.

Yeosang says nothing, but his hand grips yours tighter.

“I didn’t want to be a burden,” You murmur, your voice cracked like broken porcelain.

Wooyoung lifts his head just enough to look at you. His face is blotchy and red, eyes swollen, expression unreadable at first—until the grief turns into something else: anger.

“You think we care about that?!” He snaps, voice shaking. “You think I’ve known you since middle school just to not be there when you're going through this?!”

His voice rises, but Seonghwa gently places a hand on his shoulder, grounding him. Wooyoung exhales hard and leans his head back against the bed, still crying quietly.

“I’m sorry,” You whisper.

And it’s the worst part. Not the illness. Not the bruises on your skin or the ache in your bones.

The worst part is seeing the people you love grieve you while you’re still alive.

Yeosang leans forward, pressing his forehead to your hand.

“No more hiding,” He says, voice hollow. “You don’t have to be strong alone anymore.”

You let out a shaky breath and close your eyes again—not from fatigue, but to keep the tears from spilling.

Because now it’s real.

And somehow… that makes it both more painful and more comforting at once.

⋆⋅☆⋅⋆

The next four days pass in soft, slow pieces—moments stitched together by the quiet devotion of those who now carry your secret.

Yeosang, Seonghwa, and Wooyoung take turns by your side like clockwork. They don’t ask for permission—they just do.

Wooyoung bathes you gently, humming old songs to distract you from the cold water on your sore skin.

Seonghwa brings you freshly cut fruit, sits by the window, and reads aloud to you with his warm, steady voice—something about the way he does it makes you forget your body is failing.

And Yeosang, always Yeosang, feeds you when you’re too tired to lift a spoon and whispers things like, “just one more bite for me, sweetheart,” as if you’re still the little sibling who used to follow him around in your pajamas.

They do all of this without complaint. Without hesitation. Without letting you see the weight they carry.

But you see it anyway.

You see it in how Seonghwa avoids your eyes when you ask about the company. How Wooyoung’s jokes come slower, quieter. How Yeosang never lets go of your hand, even when he thinks you’re asleep.

On the second day, you ask them for a notebook and some pens. There’s no ceremony to it—just a quiet request.

“I need to write some letters,” You say, voice raspy.

They don't ask what for. They don’t need to.

Wooyoung brings you a sketchbook with thick pages and a pouch of pens in every color.

“So you can make them beautiful,” He says with a sad smile.

Each letter you write feels like another piece of your soul laid bare. You try to make them lighthearted—full of warmth, small memories, little jokes.

But they always end the same: with the words you’ve never been brave enough to say aloud.

Goodbye.

—

Meanwhile, the atmosphere at the company is growing tenser by the day. You’re not there. You’re not answering messages. No one's said why.

The boss knows you're taking “medical rest,” and the production team was told it's just temporary.

But Hongjoong isn’t buying it.

You were supposed to finish the final arrangement of the last album track. The deadline is breathing down everyone’s neck. And you—the one who usually sleeps under the mixing desk with a cold coffee and a blanket—have disappeared.

He hears whispers. He sees Yeosang come in with dark circles under his eyes, sees Wooyoung miss rehearsals for the first time in months. Seonghwa walks around like he’s carrying glass in his chest.

But no one says a word.

“Where the hell is she?”

Hongjoong snaps one afternoon, slamming his phone on the table in the production room.

“Everyone’s working their asses off and she’s just—resting?”

Yeosang freezes at the doorway. Seonghwa looks away. Wooyoung’s jaw clenches so tight it trembles.

But they say nothing. Not because they want to keep your secret. Because you asked them to.

Because you begged, “Don’t tell him. Not yet. Please.”

And so they bite their tongues. They swallow the pain. They let Hongjoong’s words slice into them without defending you.

Because the truth would shatter him.

And you're not ready to break his heart.

⋆

Your phone vibrates weakly against the metal bedside table. The screen lights up in the quiet dark, just past midnight.

Hongjoong.

You stare at the name. Your thumb hovers.

It’s been a week.

A week of silence. A week of not answering, not checking messages, not daring to reach out first—hoping, just a little, that he’d miss you.

That he’d notice your absence. That he’d call not out of obligation, but out of care.

You told yourself you wouldn’t answer. But hope is cruel, and you're too tired to fight it tonight.

You slide your thumb across the screen and whisper, “Hello?”

There’s a pause. Then—

“Where the fuck are you?”

Your breath catches. No hi, no how are you, no I miss you. Just fury, sharp and cold.

You blink, heart sinking, already wishing you hadn’t picked up “Hongjoong…” You murmur, your voice barely above a whisper. “I’m—I needed time. I’ve been—”

“Yeah, clearly. Taking a rest while the rest of us carry your weight?” He scoffs. “Do you think this is some kind of fucking vacation?!”

You flinch. The IV line tugs slightly against your arm as you instinctively curl in on yourself.

“I wasn’t—It’s not like that—”

“You still haven’t finished the last track. Do you know how unprofessional this is?”

He laughs bitterly, cruelly.

“If you don’t deliver by next week, I’ll tell the board you’re useless. Take a permanent rest from work. Let’s see how that feels.”

It hits like a knife.

You want to scream I’m dying. You want to scream I love you. You want to scream Please don’t do this to me—But you don’t.

Instead, your eyes blur as you whisper, “I’m sorry.”

There’s a long pause on the other end. Then his voice softens—not with affection, but with venom too practiced.

“Stop being a burden and do your fucking work.”

Your heart cracks clean in half. The silence that follows is unbearable.

You don’t hang up. You don’t cry. You just let the line go dead when he ends it.

And then the quiet comes back. But it’s not peaceful anymore.

It’s the kind that echoes every horrible word back to you—again and again—until you’re left with nothing but the sound of your heart breaking… in a body already falling apart.

⋆⋅☆⋅⋆

The next morning, the sunlight sneaks through the pale hospital curtains, casting soft gold over your bed. You barely feel it. Your bones ache. Your chest is still tight from last night.

But you hide it.

Yeosang is gently spooning porridge toward your lips.

“Just a little more,” He says softly, eyes tired.

He hasn’t slept well. You know he cried again—his lashes are still a little wet. You don’t ask. You just open your mouth and obey, like a good patient.

When he finally packs up to leave for the company, brushing your hair with his fingers like he used to when you were little, you smile.

“I’ll be okay,” You lie.

He hesitates “Call the nurse if you need anything.”

“I will.”

You wait until the door clicks shut before you call for the doctor.

“I need to go out for a few hours,” You say, sitting upright, your voice steadier than it should be. “Please. Just a few hours. I’ll be with a nurse. I… have things to finish.”

The doctor stares at you for a long time. You don’t offer more. You just meet his gaze with quiet determination.

Finally, he sighs “Only for a few hours. The nurse goes with you the entire time. No arguments.”

You nod "No arguments."

—

Stop 1: The Watch Store.

The clerk greets you with a warm smile, not noticing the slight tremble in your legs as you step inside.

“I’d like to pay for the custom watch I ordered online,” You say, pulling the receipt from your pocket with careful hands.

“And can you have it delivered on June 15 to this address?” You slide Yeosang’s name and home address across the counter.

The clerk nods, typing it in “Anything else?”

You hesitate, then smile faintly “Can you write a note to go with it? ‘For my favorite person: Happy Birthday, Yeosang. Love you always.’”

—

Stop 2: The Bakery.

The scent of sugar and yeast hits you like a memory—birthday mornings, surprise celebrations, shared laughs in the break room.

“I’d like to order a cake for June 13th,” You tell the girl at the counter.

She types as you speak “Message on the cake?”

You nod “Congratulations on your comeback, I’m so proud of you.”

She smiles “That’s sweet! Where should it be delivered?”

“KQ Entertainment. Lobby.”

—

Stop 3: The Funeral Home.

The room is sterile. Quiet. Almost too quiet.

The woman speaks gently as you browse “Do you… know what you’re looking for?”

You nod. A simple white coffin. Lilies. Nothing overdone.

You hand her a photo—one from your last birthday. You look healthy in it. Radiant. It’s the version of yourself you want them to remember.

“If it happens… soon,” You say quietly, “please use this photo.”

The woman places her hand over yours. You don’t flinch, just nod.

—

Stop 4: KQ Building.

You step in quietly through the side entrance. The guards recognize you, but they don’t question your pale complexion, or the nurse at your side. One of them greets you with a smile.

“You’re back,” He says. “It’s been a while.”

“Just for a bit.”

You walk slowly to the studio. No one sees you, they’re all working.

You sit in the recording room, headphones on, and finish the track Hongjoong demanded.

The lyrics blur in your mind, but the melody comes through clearly, like it had always been there—waiting.

When it’s done, you transfer the final version to a small silver USB. You stare at it for a second, then scribble something on a post-it.

“Sorry for the burden.”

You place the USB gently on Hongjoong’s desk and slip away before anyone notices you were even there.

The nurse doesn’t ask anything. She just holds the door for you as you step out into the spring air.

For the first time in weeks, you feel light. Not because anything is better. But because the end is near.

And you’re doing everything you can to leave it all behind… quietly, beautifully, on your own terms.

—

The studio is dimly lit, the same soft blue LEDs casting lazy shadows over the mixing console and shelves lined with half-finished demo CDs.

Hongjoong walks in, a coffee in one hand, the girl clinging to his other arm. She's giggling, wearing his hoodie like it's hers. Maybe it is, now.

He sets the coffee down, sighs as he slumps into his chair "Finally," He mutters, spotting the silver USB on the edge of his desk.

The small, square post-it clings to it. Your handwriting is instantly familiar—even now, he knows it better than his own.

"Sorry for the burden."

He reads it once. Then again. But his face doesn’t change.

No flicker of concern. No softness. No guilt.

"About time," He mutters, peeling the note off and tossing it into the trash without a second glance.

The girl beside him leans over his shoulder “Is that the track you needed?”

He nods, plugging the USB in “Yeah. She finally sent it in.”

There’s no thank you. No message sent. No question of where you've been or how you are.

Just a press of the spacebar. Play. Adjust. Pause. Replay. Work, as usual.

And the girl? She curls up on the studio couch, pulling out her phone, completely unaware—or perhaps uninterested—that this is a song made by someone slowly dying. Someone he once said he loved.

He doesn’t mention you. Not once. Just hums along to the melody you spent the last of your strength finishing.

The very one that will help complete their comeback.

Without you.

⋆⋅☆⋅⋆

The hospital room is quiet, cloaked in the fading light of a late spring afternoon. The soft hum of machines fills the background, broken only by the gentle scratch of your pen against paper.

You’re finishing the last letter—the most difficult one. The one addressed to him.

‘To Hongjoong,’ You write, your hands trembling.

Tears blot the page before the ink can dry. You bite your lip to keep from sobbing, but it doesn’t help.

The words come slowly—not because you don’t know what to say, but because it hurts too much to say it.

When you finish it, you fold the letter slowly, tuck it into an envelope already addressed with your shaky handwriting. You place it on the small box next to your bed—all your letters, sealed and organized.

Wooyoung promised he’d deliver them if something happened. And you believe him.

The sun has dipped lower now, and Yeosang is gathering his things. He's dressed for filming, eyes tired, voice gentle.

“You sure you’ll be okay?” He asks for the fifth time.

You nod, smiling “Yeah.” He lingers near the bed, hesitant. “Yeosang?”

“Hm?”

“…Thank you. For loving me. For staying. For making me feel like I wasn’t dying alone. You’ve been… everything.”

He frowns, stepping closer “Hey—hey, where’s that coming from?”

You reach for his hand, your grip so much weaker than it was even days ago “Just wanted to say it… in case.”

His throat bobs “You’re scaring me.”

“Don’t be scared.” You smile, tired but genuine. “Just remember that I love you. More than anyone in this life. You’ve made it beautiful, Yeosang.”

He bites his lip, eyes welling with emotion “You’re coming home. We’re going to beat this, okay?”

You nod, even though you both know it’s a lie.

He kisses your forehead gently, holding your hand longer than he should “I love you too,” He whispers, his voice cracking. “So much.”

Then he’s gone.

You watch the door close, and for the first time, the silence feels too big. You lean back against your pillow, staring at the ceiling, letting the weight of it all settle into your bones.

No more strength. No more words.

Just you.

You don't know how much time you spend looking at the ceiling, but you let out the softest breath like a whisper no one hears.

Your hand slips from the blanket.

The monitors slow… Then stop.

You die in that room—quiet, still, surrounded by goodbye letters and the sunlight you were always chasing. No one holds your hand. No one’s there to whisper your name.

And your biggest fear comes true.

You die alone.

⋆

"Okay, take a ten-minute break, everyone!" The director calls out after the choreography for the second verse wraps.

The room exhales all at once—a chorus of panting breaths, damp hair, and bodies sinking into the floor.

Some members collapse onto the ground, others shuffle to grab water bottles, sweat clinging to their skin.

Hongjoong claps his hands with a grin, voice laced with adrenaline “This is it, guys. This comeback... it’s going to be amazing.”

Everyone nods, smiling through their exhaustion, the air buzzing with the thrill of creation.

Until—

“Excuse me,” A staff member calls out gently, stepping into the rehearsal room, holding a phone in both hands.

Her voice wavers “I’m sorry to interrupt but… Yeosang-ssi, your phone’s been ringing nonstop since the last take.”

The room stills. Yeosang, who had been toweling the sweat from his neck, turns slowly. His brows draw together in immediate concern.

“From who?” He asks, walking toward her.

She hands the phone over, and he stares at the screen.

Six missed calls. All from an unknown number.

Seonghwa shifts on the floor, his stomach tightening. He and Wooyoung lock eyes.

They know something is wrong.

Yeosang doesn’t wait. He calls back with shaking fingers. The call connects after a single ring.

“Mr. Kang?” A voice answers gently—too gently. “We’re calling from Seoul National Hospital. I’m afraid we have… very difficult news.”

Everyone around him stops moving.

Yeosang’s throat tightens “W-What happened?”

“We tried—Mr. Kang, we tried everything, but… we couldn’t save her.”

The silence that follows isn’t quiet, it’s screaming.

“We’re so sorry for your loss.”

Yeosang’s knees buckle. He drops the phone mid-sentence, a choked sound tearing from his throat as if someone reached inside him and pulled out his soul. His body hits the floor with a dull thud, hands clawing at his chest.

“No… no—no, no, no, no,” He gasps. “She—no, she was okay this afternoon, I fed her—she smiled at me—she—”

“Yeosang?” Wooyoung is already by his side, falling to his knees, grabbing his friend’s shoulders as Yeosang sobs, broken and raw.

Seonghwa picks up the phone and listens numbly as the hospital confirms the worst. His face drains of color. He doesn’t speak—only slowly lowers the phone, trembling like a leaf.

“She’s dead?” Wooyoung whispers, his voice hollow.

Yeosang doesn’t answer. He can’t. He curls into himself, the wails coming now—full, loud, gut-wrenching. The kind of crying that tears your throat open, the kind that sounds like it shouldn’t come from a human being.

Everyone in the room freezes. Even Hongjoong goes pale, stepping forward slowly.

“What’s going on?”

Seonghwa finally turns to him, red-eyed and shaking “She’s gone,” He whispers.

“What?”

“She’s dead, Hongjoong.”

And that’s when it clicks.

The song. The way Yeosang had been acting like the world was ending. The way you had disappeared without telling him anything.

Hongjoong staggers back as if slapped. He doesn’t cry. He doesn’t even blink.

The words hang in the air like smoke: She’s dead.

They echo. They twist. But they don’t land.

He’s still standing in the center of the room, the choreography lights overhead casting long shadows down his face, but his eyes are unfocused, lost.

Yeosang is still crying—a broken, hoarse sound that scrapes at the walls. Wooyoung is holding him, whispering something against his temple. Seonghwa’s hands tremble at his sides as he stares at the floor.

But Hongjoong… He just blinks.

Dead? You can’t be dead.

You’re dramatic. Emotional. Reckless. But not dead.

He remembers the last call. The venom in his voice. The impatience. The threat.

He remembers not saying I love you back. Not once. Not even when you begged with silence.

He walks out of the studio like a ghost, no one stopping him.

⋆⋅☆⋅⋆

It’s raining.

Because of course it is. Not a torrential downpour—just the kind of quiet drizzle that clings to black umbrellas and feels like the sky is crying in your place.

The room is quiet. Almost too quiet for a funeral. Like no one dares speak in fear of breaking the spell.

The casket is closed. Sleek. White. Lined with the delicate flowers you chose yourself.

There’s a photo framed above it—the one from your last birthday. You look beautiful in it. Young. Alive. Eyes sparkling.

Too alive to be gone.

Yeosang stands beside your casket with swollen eyes and a hollow heart. He hasn’t left your side since the doors opened.

Seonghwa is next to him. Rigid. Pale. The type of grief that looks like discipline but is actually just survival.

And then there’s Wooyoung. His eyes are glassy but dry—because he’s been holding something more important than tears: A small box.

Your box.

Inside, letters.

One for each member. Sealed, with their names written in your delicate handwriting.

As the ceremony ends, he moves silently, one by one.

First to San. He presses the envelope into San’s hand and doesn’t say a word.

San reads your name on the letter and immediately breaks. His shoulders hunch forward, and he walks away before anyone sees the tears come.

Then to Mingi, who clutches the letter to his chest and nods, trying to swallow the sob threatening to escape.

To Jongho, whose eyes glisten but lips stay shut.

To Yunho, who takes it gently, fingers trembling, and whispers, “Thank you.”

To Seonghwa, who doesn’t even blink—he just holds it and whispers, “I’ll read it when I’m ready.”

To Yeosang, whose fingers brush yours one last time before taking the letter. He holds it to his lips. Doesn’t speak. Just cries again.

And finally—To Hongjoong.

Wooyoung walks up to him slowly, jaw clenched. He hesitates—just for a second—before holding the letter out.

Hongjoong doesn’t take it. He stares at the paper like it might burn him. His face remains blank.

“She wrote it for you,” Wooyoung says, quiet, almost cruel. “You should read it.”

Hongjoong lifts his eyes, slow and tired “I don’t deserve it.”

“That’s not for you to decide.”

The envelope slips from Wooyoung’s hand into Hongjoong’s. And for a long moment, Hongjoong just stares at it.

Your handwriting. Your last words.

To him.

His fingers close around it. He doesn’t cry. But his jaw locks, and his throat moves in one hard swallow.

The only thing he says is a whisper: “…I’m sorry.”

—

Later that night, the funeral is over. The sky is still weeping.

Hongjoong sits alone in his studio.

Not working. Not writing. Just sitting.

The letter sits on the table in front of him, untouched for hours. He’s been staring at it, afraid to open it, afraid to feel.

But eventually, his hand reaches out, slow and almost hesitant—like touching it might make it all real.

He breaks the seal. Your scent hits him faintly—that soft perfume you always wore—and already he’s breathless.

The paper shakes in his hands as he begins to read.

“To my love, my HongJoongie…”

That’s still how I think of you. Even after everything. Even now, even as I’m writing this with trembling fingers and bruised lungs. You’re still my Joongie.

I think I always knew.

About her.

The way your messages got shorter. How your voice lost that warmth. The way your eyes wandered, even when I was speaking. The way you smiled… just not at me anymore.

But I never asked. I didn’t want to break what was already cracking. I didn’t want to hear you say it, because then I couldn’t pretend anymore.

So I chose love. I chose you. Even when it hurt.

Hongjoong’s chest caves in.

His eyes blur. He wipes at them, but the shaking won’t stop now. He keeps reading, slower.

You were supposed to be my person. My safe place. I would’ve given everything just to be loved by you a little longer. Even if it meant swallowing all the pain. I wanted to be with you until the end, Joongie.

But the truth is…

I think you were already gone before I ever left.

He chokes. His hand flies to his mouth, like it might stop the noise rising in his throat.

But it’s too late.

A sharp sob rips from him. He bends forward, clutching the paper like it’s your hand and he can still hold on somehow.

The words blur.

But he forces himself to keep going.

You know, I used to be afraid of storms. The thunder always made me cry when I was little. But I grew out of it eventually.

I wish I could say the same about the fear of dying alone.

That one never left.

And now… I can feel it, Joongie. I can feel the end coming closer. And it’s cold. It’s terrifying. Because I think I’ll be alone when it comes. And I don’t want to be.

I don’t want to die without you.

Hongjoong breaks.

Completely.

No more holding back. No more numbness. Just grief. Ugly, gut-wrenching grief.

He collapses onto the floor, letter crumpled to his chest, sobbing like a man being ripped apart. Because he was supposed to protect you.

He was supposed to love you, stay with you, be there—through the storms, through the end.

But he let someone else into his bed while you were writing goodbye letters and choosing coffins.

He let you die alone.

And now there’s no song, no track, no apology that can bring you back.

⋆⋅☆⋅⋆

One Month Later

The company building is alive with quiet celebration.

It’s the day of the long-awaited comeback—photos are being taken, staff buzzing with excitement, members preparing for interviews and performances.

There are smiles.

But none of them quite reach the eyes.

Your absence is still a wound, deep and unhealed.

They all feel it — the silence where your voice used to be, the space you once filled so brightly now left hollow.

Then, somewhere between conversations and flashing lights—

“Delivery for Kang Yeosang?” A courier calls from the entrance.

Yeosang, confused, steps forward and takes the small, neatly wrapped box. His name is written in your handwriting.

There’s no mistaking it. His hands tremble. He opens it slowly.

Inside is a custom-made silver watch, the exact model he once told you about in passing—the one he never expected anyone to remember. The dial engraved with tiny, delicate script:

"For my favorite person: Happy Birthday, Yeosang. Love you always.’”

He stares at it, unable to speak. His chest tightens painfully.

Tears gather. A quiet, broken sob slips from him. Seonghwa puts a hand on his shoulder—and they don’t say anything. They don’t need to.

Across the building, another courier arrives.

“Delivery for KQ Entertainment – Congratulations Cake?”

The receptionist, puzzled, takes it.

It’s a beautiful cake—white and gold, elegant. The top reads in delicate frosting:

“Congratulations on your comeback. I’m so proud of you all.”

The members gather around it slowly, recognizing the handwriting on the card beside it before anyone speaks.

No one touches the cake. No one can move.

Wooyoung’s eyes well up first “...She planned all this,” he whispers. “Even when she knew she wouldn’t be here.”

Jongho’s jaw clenches. San turns his back to hide his tears. Mingi cries openly.

Hongjoong is the last to arrive, holding your letter in his pocket—worn and read a hundred times.

He sees the cake. He sees Yeosang clutching that watch like it’s the last thread of you left in the world.

And for the first time in days—He crumbles.

He sinks to his knees beside the table, staring at the cake, whispering your name like a prayer he didn’t deserve to speak.

Because love this deep doesn’t disappear when you die.

You gave them all a part of you to keep.

Even him.

Even the one who broke you, and it’s only now that he realizes… You were the only light any of them ever needed.

And you were gone far too soon.

Taglist: @domfikeluva @hurryupmars @a-tiny-thing @silenttrxxs @innocygnet @alliecoady98 @posseup @yothangie @a-atiny_niawoo @justconniez @niaee @0407files @maidens-world @zaynsfl4m3s @maplelilly05 @xh01bri @sannieily @nkryuki @lemonkait00 @khaskl08 @badbitch69420sworld @jilxxasu @vnxlla @lezleeferguson-120 @lunaryoongie @stayatinykatsy @milliesupremexx @unbroken-shadows @itzyejiluv @lover-ofallthingspretty @queenofdumbfuckery @johaeyeon @xopierrot @m0onchild-98 @nyx-y @daniela-f-uwu @atinyno1likeme @bbyunicornbby @pansexual-and-eating-pancakes @hecateslittlewitchling @herpoetryprincess @twancingyunhao @prchiquita8 @yoonglesbabie

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All rights reserved ♡bunny-hwa. Do not copy or translate my work.

[desi2go]

obsessed I need part twoooooo of seungmin’s!!!!!!!!

Aww 🥰 I'm so happy to hear that 🫶🏼

I promise, part two will follow but I maybe need some time to write it since I still have to write two exams🙈

[desi2go]

What if it changed everything? (1)

pt.1 | pt. 2 | pt. 3 | pt. 4

pairing: idol!Seungmin x reader

warnings: smut, angst, pregnancy, talking about abortion

summary: After a one night of pleasure with a member of the famous kpop group Stray Kids, you find out that you are pregnant. What will you do?

──────── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ────────

You didn't know what you were doing outside at this ungodly hour. After finishing up your rather unsuccessful study session at your university's library, you couldn't just calm your mind down. It had made it so difficult to learn, to even think properly.

Exams were coming up and your anxieties weren't really helping. No, they made it even worse.

You had hoped that the cold air on a spring night would clear your mind, shit the intrusive, loud thoughts out.

You didn't even know about what you were wrecking your brain over. It was just too much. Everything. The sudden divorce of your parents and the secret relationship of your father with another woman had turned your world upside down within seconds. And your best friend Sanha was currently going through a breakup herself, crying over her boyfriend who dumped her for another woman.

Now, you had the two of them swimming in their own problems, complaining to you about their unfair treatments.

You felt as if you needed to find solutions to their situations, like the whole weight was burdening your shoulders when you had your own troubles. With your parents not talking to each other, you had become their voice, negotiating between them.

And you? You didn't know how the hell you were going to survive the next few months. Your work place, a little book shop where you got enough money to pay for your rent, had closed suddenly, leaving you with no job and no money.

You could barely afford the college fees even with a job and your parents now had other problems to solve. And applicating at another place was difficult in a city with hundreds of poor students desperate for a little bit of money.

You hoped that the biting cold would soothe your nerves and cool your trailing thoughts just like it cooled your skin. A shiver wrecked your body as you circled your thin jacket tighter around yourself, cursing that you hadn't chosen the thicker one.

It was already way past ten pm. Most people were already at home, leaving the streets quiet and lonely. Just like you felt.

And the fresh air didn't seem to stop your mind, in fact, it made it much more worse. The quietness only fueling the nerves. To relieve some of that, you picked at your nails and chewed at your lip. Bad habits you had picked up long ago.

As you followed the path home to your small apartment, you observed the turbulence inside of the bar. It was the only thing lightening the street apart from the few traffic lights.

The clinking of glass against eachother and the loud laughter lured you inside. It was a Friday evening. So, no classes tomorrow. That meant that you could actually stay up way past your bedtime and sleep in. Very tempting.

If the quietness couldn't stop your mind, maybe the loudness would. A drink or two couldn't hurt, right?

Before actually stepping inside, you stopped yourself as you saw your reflection in the glass door. Knitting your eyebrows, you pulled at your dark grey jacket and the boring jeans.

You looked like a grandma who had been stuck at a library too long. Well, you indeed where at the library for nearly ten hours.

With a final glance, you pushed the heavy wooden door open. Immediately, the smell of beer and sweat flooded your nose.

You couldn't even remember the last time you had attended a party. That must have been ages ago. Only the mere thought of a cool glass of Lillet in your hand made your mouth water.

Yes, that was exactly what you needed. Alcohol and some good music. And maybe even a small little hook up for your nerves that could spice up your (currently nonexistent) sex life.

The muscular bartender immediately took your order and placed the pinkish fluid on the countertop with a smirk. "Here ya go, sweetheart. Looks like you really need it"

You laughed and nodded. "Oh, you can't imagine how much I need that." You nearly moaned as the sweet liquid pooled into your mouth, a faint touch of alcohol burned your throat just the way you liked.

After downing the first glass of your Longdrink, you felt the alcohol spreading in your whole body, warmth gathering in your stomach.

With a pleasant hum, you opened your hair and combed through it with your fingers, moving your foot along the beat if the music. Your body heated up and you shrugged your jacket off to cool your overheating skin.

The bartender placed another filled glass infront of you.

"Whiskey please" You flinched at the voice that seemed only centimeters away. Turning your head, you glanced at the young man sitting down on the chair beside you.

While the bartender worked, you had the opportunity to observe the black haired man more. His short hairstyle revealed a beautiful face with big boba eyes and a cute smile.

His black leather jacket only enhanced his appeal. And before you could actually stare at the mysterious stranger even more, his order was placed down and his hand wrapped around the glass while he turned to you.

"Hey" he mouthed, flashing you with his smile. With his face completely turned to you, you saw how tired he looked. Dark circles permanent under his eyes but never minimizing his beauty.

"Hi" you answered breathy, feeling gummy and red from the alcohol and maybe his attention.

"What is a gorgeous woman like you doing here all alone on a Friday night?" He asked, swirling the content of his glass before placing it on his lips and drinking. Your eyes followed the brownish liquid to his small, perfect lips.

"Drowning my thoughts and you? Rough day?" He chuckled at your assumption. His eyes sparkled sheepishly.

"You aren't wrong. I really had a hard day. And now, I'm just trying to distract my mind from the upcoming stress" he replied, ordering another round.

"I'm Seungmin by the way"

You chuckled and took his hand that he had stretched out towards you. "Nice to meet Seungmin. I'm Y/n"

"Y/n" he mouthed loudly as if he liked the way it rolled of his tongue. "I love the sound of your name" he flirted with a smirk.

Without thinking, you giggled, feeling the redness pooling into your cheeks like a stupid teenager.

"Well, thank you. Yours is really fine too." The black haired man nodded with a hum, his hand brushing yours briefly that sat on the cool wooden countertop as if it was nothing.

You liked the way he looked at you. With longing and desire, something you hadn't felt for so long since you were always busy keeping up with classes and your job. But Seungmin seemed to push the right buttons and you were convinced that he wasn't just good in flirting.

"Do you have any plans tonight, Y/n?" He questioned after drowning the second glass of whiskey. His whole body was still turned towards you on the bar stool as his hand graced yours again. But now, he actually rested his hand over yours, caressing your tender skin.

Immediately, you shook your head no. You had nothing to do other than ravishing and spend the night with him.

"I have no plans yet" you shrugged, chugging the last bit of your Lillet and letting your tongue run over your lips to wet them. You liked the way his eyes couldn't concentrate on your own and travelled down to your mouth in unvoiced desire.

"I think we both have earned a distraction from our churning thoughts, haven't we?" He whispered into your ear as his hand travelled up over your exposed arm which sent shivers along your spine in pure bliss.

Like in a trance, you nodded firmly, earning a happy smile from him.

"How about you accompany me to my apartment which is only a few houses away and we spent some time together? How does that sound?"

You gulped. You knew that there were some crazy people who lure women like you with sentences like that into misery. People who would force and rape you only to leave you behind on a dark alley like trash afterwards.

But was Seungmin really that type of guy? Well, the victims hadn't thought about their rapist as a threat first either.

While your mind reminded you about the traumatising article about a woman who had just been raped, you said fuck it. You were sick of your ever working brain with the stupids thoughts that never leave you alone.

Now, they could all quiet down. You weren't listening. Not this once.

"Sounds wonderful. Let me just pay for my drinks and we are good to go" you answered with a smile, calling the bartender over. As you searched through your purse for your credit card, Seungmin placed a hand on your shoulder, getting your attention.

You lifted your gaze. "No need. I'll pay for us" he winked at you and you immediately bowed your head, thankful for his kindness while blush crept up your cheeks.

"Thank you so much" you mumbled shyly. Seungmin brushed it off and helped you up after paying. "I can't let such a gorgeous woman pay for herself. Then, I wouldn't be a gentleman" he smirked and winked at you playfully.

You laughed amused, finding your jacket on the rack and quickly slipping it on.

"well, you are indeed a gentleman" you mused as he held the door open for you and immediately returned to your side to show you the way.

The way back to his apartment was filled with some small talk and a comfortable silence. Despite his obvious confidence in all his actions, you found out that he was actually the type of guy who rather listens than talks much.

And you definitely didn't mind that. You were quite the yapper and loved to talk. Sadly, your words often hit deaf ears since most people shut off after a while. But Seungmin?

Whenever you stopped yourself from sharing too much, he asked the right questions in the right moments. You knew this would be just a normal fling, a one night stand, absolutely nothing serious, but this little gesture warmed your heart, making him even more attractive to you. And you couldn't stop it. Maybe it was the alcohol that ran through your system or your nonexistent love life but it was sad that you were only a little fuck for him. From your observations, he was totally boyfriend coded.

Five minutes later, you found yourself in a luxurious apartment, too luxurious for a man in his early twenties. You gulped as you saw his clean living room, held in black and white.

He chuckled at your big eyes. "I'm often travelling around. That's why it looks so untouched" he brushed his hand over your exposed arm, letting goosebumps spread over your skin.

You finally let your eyes wander to him, his attractive smile and those brown eyes that sparkled sheepishly. Playfully, you winked at him, bringing your arms confidently around his neck and leaned in.

Tenderly, you brushed your lips against his neck, feeling him suck air in. "We can make it feel homely"

Almost immediately, his lips crashed against yours, pushing you against the grey wall behind you. "Absolutely love that idea" he mused before caressing your red lips with his tongue, pleading to get into your mouth.

With a moan, you opened up for him, clawing at his t-shirt to pull him closer. One of his long legs, pushed between yours and you could feel the warmth pooling into your belly.

This was exactly what you needed right now.

Him. At this moment.

You didn't need to think. You just followed your intuition, letting him take the reins so that you could just enjoy.

And you did exactly that. Enjoying.

You enjoyed how his lips felt against yours. How his hands travelled to your thighs and pushed you upwards in a sudden, practised movement that left you gasping. You enjoyed how he lifted you up like you weight nothing while your tongues collided inside of your mouth.

Loudly, you moaned into his mouth as you felt his bulge through his jeans, your heels digging into his ass to rub yourself against him in a teasing manner. The reaction was immediate. The shudder and the little rut against your body spoke words. He really needed that as much as you did.

With quick and powerful strides, he carried you deeper into the apartment, into the bedroom and let you fall onto the huge bed. The soft mattress cushioned your fall as you bounced slightly. You spread yourself out over the big, soft blanket, watching the black haired man in front of you like a hawk its prey.

Seungmin quickly got rid of his t-shirt.

And oh boy, he looked fine as hell.

His chest was slightly toned, muscles showing underneath his smooth skin as he struggled slightly to strip off his jeans. You felt how the heat gathered in your abdomen, longing for that hot man right in front of you.

Finally, he had won the war against his trousers and stood in all his glory, only dressed in his black boxers, right there. The fire in his eyes matched your own as he slowly got onto the bed like a predator sneaking up to its prey, ready to eat you.

"Let's get that off of you" he murmured, voice thick with desire. You only nodded and kissed him back while he opened the button to your jeans and helped you out of it. Soon, your top followed.

"So hot" he growled, burying his fingers in your hair and slightly pulling at it while he pushed your back down to the bed. His hands roamed your body like he owned it.

You moaned as he pushed his body over yours and made quick work of your bra that landed on the ground right next to your other clothes. His hands found your breast and kneaded them, making you mewl in pleasure.

His lips captured your own again. You clinged to him, nails in his back to keep him close, and undulate under him, body hot and desperate. He dropped his boxers, letting his hard cock swing free, and it’s impressive. You felt yourself lick your lips like a predator at the sight.

With one hand, he digged through his bedside table in search for a condom. His erection was plump and stood straight up as he slid the condom over his length, your eyes never leaving his moves. While he prepared himself, you slipped out of your panties, waiting for him.

He was back on top of you, his sheer presence pushing you down, making you flatten out against the mattress. His lips were on you, and it’s like he had reached deep up into some secret, hidden spot inside of you and flicked a switch.

With every fibre of his being, you burned. Melting into a puddle of pure want under his kiss. He shifted on top of you, and then you felt it.

His cock pressed deep inside of you, and you felt like you might come right then and there. He used his palms to prop himself up above you, and he found his steady rhythm that lit fire in your veins.

You could tell that he was trying to go slow at first, trying to let you settle, but he was just as desperate as you were. Confidently, you pressed your hips back against his, making him hiss in pleasure as he felt how tight you were, massaging his length delicately.

You taking the initiative was all the encouragement he needed. It was like he had turned a switch off and started pounding you like there is no tomorrow.

And god, you loved it.

The bedroom was filled with the sound of hips slapping against eachother, mixing with the moans and pants from both of you. His harsh movements unlocked something inside of you.

You were panting, sweating, aching your body up against his and all you could think of was getting more. More, more, more, even when you already felt filled to the brim, even when you felt completely overwhelmed by the pleasure.

His breath became ragged and uneven, his skins was heated up against yours and you could feel yourself quickly approaching that taut, sharp peak.

"I'm close" you moaned, stretching your chest against his at the dragging of his cock against your walls. Your fingers clawed at his shoulders, digging into the soft skin.

"Me too" you heard him whisper in your ear as his lips kissed that sweet spot on your neck that made you see stars.

Right when you were vibrating on the edge, your whole body quaking, your thighs locked around his hips, he slammed his cock into you.

And that's all it took. You screamed, a scream that ripped out of your chest and through your whole body as you came. You were still feeling, spinning out when you felt him shudder and doing some final rocks against you as he came too. He groaned against your shoulder in pure bliss.

When you started to catch your breath, the weight of his body was warm and comfortable on top of you. You slipped your fingers into his hair and felt his heartbeat slowing down against yours. You two stayed like that for a long while, just breathing, before you sighed.

"I probably should head back to my place" you murmured, slipping from his bed and collecting your clothes from the ground you had dropped so carelessly.

Seungmin turned to his side, holding his haed up with his hand, not caring that his whole body was on display. With judging eyes, he stared at you for a moment and then to the clock on his bedside table.

"It's already two am in the morning. I'm not gonna let you walk home." He countered with finality, pushing his chin up in confidence.

Knitting your eyebrows, you replied. "And what should I do then?"

"Stay here for the night." He shrugged, giving you a playful smirk.

"Really? You're sure? I'm a total stranger" you retorted, pulling your shirt over your head.

A snort left his mouth. "I'm a total stranger too. And yet, you're here and just had sex with me"

You opened your mouth to reply but you couldn't deny that he was right. You indeed had trusted him even though you only knew his name.

Well, it looked like you didn't have any other option and if you were honest, you didn't have it within you right now to walk all the way back to your apartment in the darkness alone.

"Alright. I stay" you sighed, rolling your eyes at his teasing smirk.

❤☯❤

The next morning you woke up in warm arms that circled around your waist and kept you close. His mouth was resting on your exposed shoulder, making you shudder comfortable with every exhale. With your back pressed against his front, you must say that this position was extremely comfortable.

Seungmin was still deep asleep behind you but you just couldn't go back to sleep, being sad that this one night stand ended here.

Last night was fun. So much fun like you hadn't experienced in the last year. Finally, your mind had shot off and let your rest for the night. And now, you felt even more relaxed and recharged than ever. Maybe Sanha, your best friend, was right when she nudged you to have more fun, to make more out of your life than just studying.

After some time, you decided to check your phone. It was 10:39 am and you had 18 missed calls from your best friend. Shit, you had totally forgotten to tell her and usually, you and Sanha had breakfast together at her apartment every single Saturday.

She was definitely going to kill you. At first for not texting her where you were and then for not coming. You were so fucked.

Sannie: Y/n L/n! Answer your goddamn phone! Where the heck are you? Are you still sleeping?

Sannie: You are so late for our breakfast! Answer!

Sannie: Is everything alright? Hello? Did you turn your phone off?

Sannie: Y/n?

You felt so bad for forgetting her and your shared breakfast. And you knew with how dramatic she was that she would still complain about it years ago.

Y/n: I'm so sorry, Sannie! I totally forgot!

Immediately, she responded.

Sannie: How the heck can you forget your best friend?

Y/n: Well, I followed your advice and had some fun last night.

Sannie: WAIT! REALLY? Oh my god! Yes!

Sannie: How was it? Tell me everything! Right now!!! Come over, quickly!

Y/n: I'm still at his apartment so I can't come over right now. But it was great! I had so much fun and you were right, it really helped me destressing.

Sannie: You are still there? Oh my god! There will definitely a part two!

Y/n: I'm gonna tell as soon as I walk out of his apartment!

Sannie: You better be

Seungmin shifted behind you, causing you to drop your phone.

"Good morning" he said in his deep, raspy morning voice.

"Well, good morning to you too"

He gave you a sleepy smile before rolling off the bed and slipping into his boxers. You sighed contently and dressed yourself in your old clothes from yesterday while the black haired man walked into the kitchen.

"Do you want a coffee?" He questions as soon as you entered the room after making you look presentable in the bathroom.

You nodded your head quietly and sat down on a stool, thanking him when he placed the steaming mug in front of you.

The quiet was comfortable. But it seemed like Seungmin wanted to say something.

"You have absolutely no idea who I am, right?" He asked, brushing his hands through his tousled hair.

Confused, you shook your head no. "No? Should I?"

He grinned. "Well, I am Seungmin of Stray Kids." Your whole face was drained out of colour and you were sure that you were whiter than the wall in the kitchen. Sanha loved that group and sometimes you even listened to their songs. But you never had made the effort to memorise the member's faces.

"Oh my god" you mumbled. Sanha won't believe you.

"And that's why I need you to sign this NDA." He placed some pieces of paper down with a pen, nudging you to read and sign it.

❤☯❤

"You will never know who I saw today!" Sanha, your best friend called out as soon as she pushed the door to your apartment open.

It was a normal Tuesday late afternoon for both of you. While you had classes up until four pm, Sanha worked at a small bakery and always came to your apartment afterwards.

Nearly five weeks ago, you had that wonderful one night stand with the black haired man and everything was normal. You went to college, studied, searched for a job. Nothing had changed.

"Who?" You answered, nibbling on the backside of your pen while your best friend for years let herself fall onto your bed behind you.

"My dear Ex! He was in the bakery with his new girlfriend!" She exclaimed, throwing her arms in the air in agitation. "As if the breakup wasn't hard for me. And now he decided to show his new lover off at my workplace. I bet he just wanted to piss me off" she growled angrily.

Well, since you couldn't concentrate on studying anymore, you pushed yourself off your desk chair and jumped onto the bed next to her.

She huffed loudly. "Such an asshole. First he dumped you unceremoniously and now he does shit like that" you shook your head and comforted her with a welcoming hug.

Those situations weren't new since Sanha's relationship had ended so fast. Often, you found yourself comforting her for hours without end while she cried in your arms from the humiliation she had faced. So, this wasn't something new.

But today, something is different. And it hadn't to do with your best friend.

For a week you had felt a little off, almost as if you had catched a cold. Your muscles ached and sometimes, your head hurt like it was beaten with hammers.

"You know, Sannie. There are tons of other guys out there that would love to be your boyfriend. You just need to wait and find the right one" you emphasized, sitting up to brush some strands of hair behind her ear.

But the sudden movement made you feel light headed and sick. Before your best friend could answer, you lunged off the bed.

"One sec!" You exclaimed and booked it across the apartment to your bathroom, your friend trailing close behind in worry.

"What's wrong? Y/n!" She called out in terror, not having expected you to sprint.

You didn't even care to close the door behind your form. Right now, that wasn't your problem.

There was no time.

You hunched over the toilet and immediately retched and puked. Sanha had trailed in too, holding your hair out of your way while she rubbed your back soothingly.

Sighing, you braced yourself over the bowl once it was over.

What the hell?

You felt completely fine just minutes ago. So what was this?

"Is everything fine?" Your friend asked concerned. You shrugged your shoulders.

"I don't know why I felt so nauseous from one time to the other. Maybe it was the sushi from yesterday"

She knitted her eyebrows. "Then, I would feel sick right now too." She thought, bringing you a damp wash cloth to wipe your mouth with.

What the hell was this? It couldn't be food poisoning since you ate nothing but eggs on toast this morning and nothing else that could have become bad.

Sanha sat down next to you. "Haven't you told me that you felt achy all week long?" You nodded, not knowing what she was up to.

"You and that guy five weeks ago - what was his name again?"

"Seungmin"

"Ah, right. Seungmin - did you use protection?"

You stopped in your tracks, not even breathing as you recalled what happened five weeks ago. Yes, he definitely used a condom and had taken your pill. Wait- you had forgotten it that night since you weren't home at 10 pm which was the usual time you took your pill. Fuck. Your eyes grew big.

"Did you?" Sanha added impatiently, staring at you in horror.

"Yes - I mean. We used a condom. But I remember that I didn't take my pill since I came home the next morning. Do you think the condom had a hole or was ripped? Do you think I'm pregnant?" Your whole body shook and your voice was hoarse.

No, you couldn't let your brain go there. But there was an unrelenting, nagging thought. Or... The thought alone was enough to draw up another batch of puke, and you threw yourself forward, emptying the last remains of your breakfast into the toilet.

You're seriously.... seriously...fucked.

❤☯❤

Tick, tack.

Tick, tack.

Tick, tack.

You swore if you would sit here for another hour, you were going to throw that damn clock out of the window. And the time didn't even seem to pass. It was like the time had slowed down only to mock you.

Sitting in the waiting room of the tiny hospital near your apartment wasn't the best thing you could do on a Monday morning. Technically, you were even skipping your classes but you didn't spend any mind to that. This was important. Life changing important.

You couldn't believe you were actually here. You shouldn't be here at all. And yet, here you sat, annoyed by that damn clock.

But the ongoing nausea since last week's Tuesday didn't leave any room for arguments. With every day that passed and you were still puking your guts out, especially in the morning, the chance of food poisoning grew slimmer and slimmer.

Maybe you just caught a strange cold? A new disease? Anything. You would take anything as an answer but not the one you dreaded the most at the moment.

And the way the nurse at the front desk looked at you. So pitiful and soothing was so annoying and didn't actually help. You bet that she thought how sad it was for a 22 year old to turn out pregnant when the father wasn't even here. His absence clearly told her everything she needed to know.

Your left arm hurt a bit where the nurse had drawn blood from you for the pregnancy test, a cute little plaster now covering the skin.

Nervously, you were picking at your nails, not actually focusing on the people that entered the waiting room.

As the shuffling came to an halt and the person sat down right in front of you, you cared to look up from your stress hobby.

You stilled in your actions when you realised who stared back at you just like you did. The black hair, the brown eyes and that gorgeous mouth.

It was Seungmin.

Fuck, you were truly fucked.

He recognised you as well, giving you a charming smile as he sat up with a grimace. From what you could observe, his hand was hurt judging by how he carefully held his hand up with the other

Your big eyes and your open mouth made him chuckle. "Hello again, Y/n" he greeted.

Calm down, you thought. He didn't know why you're here. You have nothing to fear. He won't find out. "It's nice to see you too, Seungmin" you replied after taking a deep breath which was difficult with how much your heart hammered against your ribcage.

"Why are you-" he started again but couldn't finish his sentence as another nurse entered the waiting room.

"Mrs. Y/n L/n, the gynecologist is ready to see you now" she waved you over with a smile. Quickly, you shot up, feeling Seungmin's hot stare on your back. Well, now, he most definitely knew or at least suspected. He was too smart not to.

You pushed the growing anxiety forcefully away when you sat down on the chair, taking deep breaths again to stop your racing heart. Come on, stay calm, you mumbled. Everything's going to turn out fine. Now focus on the right now.

Like a mantra, you repeated those words until your gynecologist entered with your case tucked carefully underneath his arm. His friendly smile brought warmth and soothing.

“I see you’re here to get a pregnancy test. Is that correct?” he said, sitting down behind the table and typed something into his computer.

You gulped and looked at your feet in shame. “Yes.”, you mumbled.

“And when was the last time you had sex?” He tapped his fingers once against the keyboard, but his eyes locked onto yours.

"six weeks ago" you answered truthfully. He hummed and wrote that piece of information down.

"Alright. I got your blood samples back and you have a high percentage of oestrogens which indicates a pregnancy. Congratulations" he stated, giving you a kind smile.

In that moment it was as if your whole world came crashing down on you. Now, that nightmare was confirmed, there was no sense of convincing yourself that you're not pregnant. To say that you were shocked was an understatement.

"I would like to do a quick ultrasound to check how the fetus is developing" with a grand gesture, he guided you to the examination table.

You gulped as you laid down, belly exposed. Your hands were clutched together over your chest and the cold gel on your belly made you shiver slightly.

He started the machine and brushed over your belly with practised movements. The screen showed the inside of your belly, well, you hoped that it was your belly since you couldn't recognise anything.

"From what I can see, the fetus looks good and is developing right"

"Is- is there already a heartbeat?" You fidgeted with your fingers, turning your head.

He hummed and pressed a few buttons. "You are six weeks pregnant and actually, we should be able to hear it" Only seconds later, the room was filled with fast and steady heartbeats. Your own heart jumped at the sound and you needed to stop yourself from cooing. This was your baby.

"Do you want a photo?" He asked and without even thinking, you nodded eagerly.

"As I assume, this pregnancy wasn't planned, right?"

Still in shock, you just nodded your head, combing through your hair in a soothing manner, at least that was what it was suppose to do.

"I'm not saying that you need to decide now. You still have time whether or not to keep the baby. I just want to give you the opportunity to choose." He explained, grabbing a bunch of brochures from his desk and placed them in front of you.

"Thank you" you mumbled, putting them in your bag after cleaning yourself with some paper towels.

Before exiting the examination room, he gave you the ultrasound photo of your little bean which you safely tucked inside of your bag, away from prying eyes. You stopped in your movements shortly as you grabbed the handle.

What if Seungmin was still sitting outside? What if he waited to confront you? But you couldn't stay here all day. Sooner or later, you needed to get out of the room.

Nervously, you poked your head out and sighed when you didn't see him right away in the waiting room which meant he had been called to the doctor already. That might leave you with enough time to get the hell out of there.

But still, you peeled into every corner or turn, just to be sure that he wasn't waiting for you in one of the hallways. On top of that, you felt like a little paranoid since every single time a person walked behind you and you heard their footsteps echoing through the long room, you quickly whipped your head around to check.

Another sigh left your lips as you exited the hospital, enjoying the warming sun. In only six weeks, the starting, early spring had developed into a much more friendlier version. For a minute you enjoyed the warmth on your skin and the smell of the prospering flowers. Then, you decided to better get going and rummaged through your bag in order to find the keys for your bike.

After another minute, you triumphantly smiled and lifted the key into the air. In your clumsiness, you let it fall to the ground. Sighing, you reached down to the ground to pick it up again but stilled as a voice called out your name from afar.

"Y/n!" You jumped slightly and quickly perked up to see who was calling out for you. In confusion, you looked around, only to find Seungmin walking, towards you from the hospital entrance. His hand was wrapped in bandages but still, he came towards you.

His face contorted in pain and you actually contemplated to jump on your bike and get the hell out of here. But you couldn't do that. You weren't an asshole.

As Seungmin came to an halt in front of you, his curious eyes observed your form. Nervously, his gaze shooting from your face to your covered belly.

Shit, he definitely knew something was up.

"Why were you in the hospital?" He asked, voice tight.

You played with the key in your hands, affectively avoiding his judging gaze.

"Yeah, I- I just had a check up" you explained evasively.

He wetted his lips with his tongue, stepping slightly closer.

"Y/n, why were you in the hospital?" His voice grew softer with each word, almost pleadingly, and his eyes searching your gaze.

You took a deep breath, heart hammering in your chest. Panic flooded your veins since you knew you couldn't postpone that conversation. He was clearly suspecting what you hided. Due to the lack answers he got from you, he sighed, his hand land on top of his big hat that concealed most of his head.

"Are you pregnant?" He whispered as if he was afraid to voice those words out loud. You gulped and finally looked him in the eyes while you gave him a sad, broken smile. Your hands were shaking from the panic in your veins.

This was the moment you had dreaded the most. How would he react? Would he want to be in the baby's life? Would he turn around as if it wasn't his business too?

You weren't even sure what you wanted to do with the new information about the growing life inside of you! Should you keep it? Yes? No? You didn't know. You mind was running on high speed with the amount of thinking you did.

"Seungmin-I" before you could dodge his question, he asked again.

"You are pregnant, right? That's why you're here" he stated, looking for the answer in your eyes. His pleading look was heartbreaking and you could see how much this affected him.

You knew there was no escape. You had to voice it out loud or he wouldn't let you get home.

"Yes. I am" you mumbled, looking down shamefully. That was the first time you were saying those words out loud and now, this whole situation became suddenly much more realistic and true.

The black haired boy ran his uninjured hand over his face while taking a deep breath. "Is it mine?" His voice broke.

"Yes" you replied quietly, too afraid to be the victim of his anger. "I wasn't sexually active before and after. Plus, the doctor said that I was six weeks along"

He nodded understandingly, taking another deep breath to stop the anxiety that flooded his veins. He was just 22 years old - how could he be fitting to be a father? But something didn't sit right in his mind.

"Wait - we used a condom. I never have intercourse without one" he stated, judging your shaking form to analyse if you were lying or not.

"Yes, but it must have ripped or had a hole." You explained truthfully since their wasn't any other possibility for you to get pregnant.

"Shit" he mumbled, gulping and massaging his neck to relieve the stress.

Despite the circumstances, you were calming down. Now, you didn't need to hide that big secret from anyone anymore. Which lifted a huge rock from your heart. Now, you had someone who could help you along the way, wether you kept the baby or not.

"I-I can't do that. I'm an idol and only 22! I-I can't be a father right now." Seungmin mumbled like a mantra. His eyes not focused on you anymore.

"I know. I'm afraid too" you soothed. You couldn't believe that you were soothing him right now, when you were the one pregnant.

"No, I-I can't deal with that right now. I-I need to go" he exclaimed, panicking and quickly stepping backwards.

"Seungmin, wait!" You answered in shock. Never you had thought that he would react that way. But you couldn't force him to stay.

You weren't his girlfriend, only some strangers who had hocked up. He had no responsibilities. A one night stand that had created new life.

You let him go. Despite your own panic, you tried to stay calm, try to think for the little bean inside you. Sure, you were frustrated about his reaction but you understood it.

With a sigh, you turned around again and tried to unlock your bike's lock with your shaking fingers. Silently you cursed yourself for thinking that he would understand and help you, at least to find a solution together. But you were wrong. He just seemed to think about himself, about his life that will change. But what about you? You were the one pregnant! You didn't even know if you could continue college!

❤☯❤

"So, what's your plan now?" Sanha asked, walking into your small living room with a bowl of popcorn in her hands. You shrugged your shoulders, sighing and spreading the prospects over the coffee table.

"I don't know. I don't know if I should keep it or get rid of it!" You exclaimed, diving into the bowl and immediately popped it into your mouth. Stress eating always helped you. Wether it was stress from exams, your parent's divorce or now the sudden pregnancy. Eating always helps.

Sanha rubbed your tense shoulders, giving you a comforting hug. " I know it's a huge decision. But you don't need to choose today. And no matter how you decide - I will help you, okay?"

You smiled at her thankfully. "I love you" you whispered, tears in your eyes.

"I love you too" It was such a good feeling to know that someone will be there for you, even though it's not the father.

"We need to do pros and cons!" Sanha exclaimed in a loud voice, jumping up from the couch and rummaging through a drawer until she found paper and a pen.

You sighed. That was going to be a long night.

❤☯❤

"Okay, stop guys!" Chan exclaimed angrily, stopping their dance practise once again. With a sigh, he shut off the music of their newest title track and turned to his members.

"What's going on Seungmin? You keep making so much mistakes today. What's on your mind that you can't even get the easiest parts right?" He wanted to know from the black haired, his voice turning softer with concern.

They all had flopped to the floor, panting and sweating since they were practicing for a few hours now.

"I fucked up, hyung, I fucked up big time" Seungmin covered his face with his hands.

"It's okay, Minnie. Tell us" Minho nudged, brushing his hair out of his face.

"I hooked up with a girl a few weeks ago"

"That's great, isn't it? You sure had a lot of fun" Hyunjin cheered, wiggling his eyebrows. Felix snorted, grinning widely, while Chan groaned, wiping the sweat from his eyes. "Oh please tell me you let her sign a NDA" he murmured, his voice threatening.

"No, of course I had her sign!" Seungmin exclaimed.

"Then what is the problem, Minnie?" Jisung wanted to know. "Was she that bad?" Hyunjin added. Vehemently, the black haired shook his head.

"Did you fell in love with your one night stand?" Jeongin teased. Well, Seungmin didn't expect that. Blinking, he felt warmth spreading over his cheeks. "That-That's not the point!"

Changbin giggled. "Don't say you have a crush on her from only seeing her once!"

"Seungmin is in love! Seungmin is in love!" Minho sing-sang playfully. The black haired sighed in defeat, rubbing his eyes in exhaustion.

"She's pregnant, okay!?" He yelled over his friend's chattering, voice cracking in defeat.

For a moment, everything went silent. Everyone stared at him in disbelief, too stunned to speak as if they tried to figure out if he was joking or not.

"Is that a joke, Seungmin? Because it better is" Chan cleared his throat, trying to stay calm. Seungmin just shook his head, eyes trailing down to the floor.

"How did that happen? Why didn't you use protection?" Felix asked, brushing through Seungmin's hair to soothe him.

"My condom ripped or had a hole" he murmured, earning a deep sigh from Chan.

"Shit" Changbin whispered, hugging him from behind. "What have you two decided to do?"

The younger one just shrugged his shoulders, lip trembling from the emotions he felt. "I don't know"

Minho knitted his eyebrows. "You don't know? But you have spoken to her about that, right?"

In shame, Seungmin looked away. "I panicked after she told me and I said I couldn't do this and ran away" he admitted.

Hyunjin cleared his throat. "Well, you're an asshole"

"Honestly, I would have slapped you" Jeongin stated, shaking his head in disbelief.

"I know! I was an ass. But this whole situation overwhelmed me! I can't be a parent at 22"

"And you aren't the one who is pregnant, Seungmin. She didn't want to be in that situation either and is probably scared too." Chan replied, patting Seungmin's shoulder.

"You need to speak to her. It isn't just her fault and you both need to find a solution together" Felix exclaimed, joining into the hug.

"Thank you all" Seungmin mumbled as all the members enveloped him and now, he just needed to find you.

❤☯❤

The days blurred together after your confrontation with Seungmin. You knew that he wouldn't seek you out again but still, something deep inside you didn't loose the hope that he would suddenly stand in front of you with an apology and maybe a jar of pickles you craved at the moment.

Officially, you were now a little bit over eight weeks pregnant and the ongoing nausea tortured you more and more.

Together with Sanha, you had weighed the pros and cons of keeping the baby. If it weren't for your education and money problems, you would have chosen otherwise but now, you couldn't give the baby a good life. That's why you had decided to terminate the pregnancy.

It was a big decision and it had costed you several tissue boxes and tons of ice cream but it was better that way, especially when you didn't have anyone to help you.

Despite your inner turmoil, you had booked an appointment a week ago at a specialised clinic for the small operation. They had informed you that it wouldn't take long, only two hours and the little life within you would be gone, gone forever.

The walk to the clinic was cruel, like you would walk to a funeral. The funeral of your small little bean, like you had named the fetus. Shame washed over you when you saw the small clinic from afar. Every step made you more anxious and scared.

While your brain, the rational part of you, knew that this was the only good decision, your heart screamed at you to just turn around and walk away. Walk away from loosing your baby that couldn't even meet yet. And the worst part?

You loved kids and you always wanted some of your own. And honestly? You could imagine keeping the baby, no, you would if you could.

The uneasiness spread when you greeted the receptionist and told you to sit down.

Tick, tack.

Tick, tack.

Tick, tack.

Just like in the hospital, there was this horrible clock but this time, it didn't agitate you. No, this time, it felt like a countdown and with each second that passed, you couldn't turn around and go. It was only a few hours until the fate of your little bean would be sealed.

Anxiously, you tapped your foot against the white tiles, desperately wanting to get this over with so you couldn't back down. Inside, you felt like a coward. There were so many couples around the world who had troubles conceiving or having miscarriage. And here you were, with a healthy fetus, waiting to get rid of it.

You flinched when your name was called and quickly hurried into the small examination room.

"So, Miss Y/n. How are we feeling today?" The nice elderly woman greeted you.

"Okay, I guess" you shrugged your shoulders, sitting down for the prep talk.

"Alright. You already know that this is a minimal invasive operation and afterwards, you can go as soon as the narcosis wears off but it's safer to have someone to get you."

Distantly, you nodded since you had already asked for Sanha to get you afterwards. Without noticing, your hands glided to your abdomen as if you wanted to protect the little bean.

"So, with that being clarified, you just need to sign this allowance that you have agreed to the operation and then, a nurse will fetch you and give you a remedy that will open your cervix in approximately an hour." The elderly woman explained, sliding the allowance over the table for you to read along with a pen.

Friendly, she smiled. "Alright, you can give that to the nurse when it's signed" with that, she lead you out of the room for you to sit in the waiting area again.

Your stomach churned as you read sentence after sentence. The described procedure sounded brutal but through the narcosis, you wouldn't feel a thing and the baby, well, it wouldn't be there afterwards. That's how your shared time will end.

You felt ashamed that you chose the easiest way and you wouldn't fight for the little bean. After finishing reading, you opened the pen and were about to leave your signature underneath but as you positioned the pen on the paper, you stilled again as if an invisible force held your hand firmly.

Honestly, even if the circumstance were bad and you hadn't planned to get pregnant, you had grown quite attached to the little bean. Maybe this were your hormones talking but suddenly, the feeling of shame and guilt crashed over you more than ever before.

Tears sprang into your eyes, blurring your vision. Why couldn't you just sign that damn allowance and continue your life how it was used to be? Would that make you a bad person? No, but an extremely guilty one.

You let the pen sink. No, you couldn't do it. You just couldn't. Maybe your parents could help you with your financials and some girls in college had already a kid or were pregnant. You could do it, with a little help, it was possible.

Quickly, you grabbed your purse and placed the allowance on the receptionist's table who gave you a surprised look.

"I'm sorry but I can't" with that, you quickly turned and exited the clinic, already phone in hand to call Sanha.

Immediately, she picked up.

"Y/n? Already finished?" She asked surprised and you heard her scrambling to get going.

"No, No. I couldn't" you answered, one hand rubbing over your belly absently.

"What?"

"I couldn't. I'm keeping the baby" you whispered, reality hitting you full force and brought tears into your eyes.

"Wait. Really?" Her scrambling stopped, impatiently waiting for your answer.

"Yes" you murmured, a small smile creating on your lips.

Her reaction was immediate. "Oh my fucking god! I'm gonna be an aunt! Hell ya!" She yelled through the phone, causing you to quickly bring some distance between you and the phone.

You chuckled. "I don't know if that's a good idea" you teased, internally loving the way she reacted.

"Stop that! You know what a good auntie I'll be!" She exclaimed outraged and you could visualise her how she put her hands at her sides.

"Little bean is going to be extremely lucky" you mused.

"We need to celebrate! I'm coming over with alcohol and ice-cream!" She exclaimed happily. "Wait - no alcohol for the mama! I'll get you some ice tea instead" she corrected herself immediately.

You giggled. Mama. That's a name you need to grow used to. But actually, you couldn't wait for your baby to say it for the first time.

author's note: just wanting to say that there is nothing wrong with abortions! I can understand everyone who chooses to do one and this is just how I would probably decide for myself if I ever got pregnant unplanned!

[desi2go]

A real masterpiece 🫶🏼 absolute perfection

Hey! I absolutely love your writings!

I'm an absolute sucker for the oneshot you just posted with Wooyoung. So, here's my request:

I love the arranged marriage trope, so, could you please write a fic about Hongjoong getting into an arranged marriage with the reader? They both aren't fond of the deal their parents had made and some sort of enemies to lovers. Maybe a slow burn because I love those little interactions where they deny their feelings for eachother because they think the other one feels forced to build a somewhat good relationship to the other? Angst is a must! But please, I need a happy ending! My heart wouldn't survive another fic with the same amount of angst like in your recent post.

Anyways, thank you and feel free to change some things. I know I'll love it 🫶🏼

Strangers - Hongjoong

Pairing: Mean!Hongjoong x Reader

Genre: Romance, Slow Burn, Angst with a Happy Ending, Arranged Marriage, Enemies to Lovers.

wc: 13,7K

Warnings: Angst, Emotional tension, Alcohol use, Mild toxic behaviors, Emotional avoidance.

Summary: When two strangers are forced into a marriage neither of them wanted, sparks fly—but not the romantic kind. Between awkward dinners, cold shoulders, and silent nights, they learn that pretending not to care is easier than admitting the truth.

But behind the tension, something fragile begins to bloom.

Request: Yes (Thank u for your request, hope you like it!! ♡♡)

The familiar echo of a gavel, the soft clink of champagne glasses, and the faint hum of shallow conversation filled the grand hall.

Another charity art auction.

You’d lost count of how many of these you’d attended since joining Jeong Enterprises. They were all the same—an endless parade of wealthy socialites throwing obscene amounts of money at things they didn’t understand, all for the sake of bragging rights and flashy headlines.

“Do I hear one hundred?” The auctioneer called.

“Two hundred!”

“Seven hundred!”

“One thousand!”

A tense pause. Then—

“One thousand for the lady in the corner!” The auctioneer beamed, hammer falling with flair as polite applause echoed around the room.

The woman who won smiled proudly, completely unaware—or perhaps entirely aware—that she had just dropped a small fortune on what was, quite honestly, the ugliest painting you’d ever seen.

You sighed and shifted your attention back to your drink. At least it will be over soon.

“And now, the final piece of the night,” The auctioneer announced. “A breathtaking landscape—sunset over a waterfall, oil on canvas. One of the most stunning works we’ve had this season.”

Your gaze lifted. There it was. The only painting that had caught your eye the moment you walked in—soft golden skies, water crashing gently over rocks, and the kind of quiet solitude you hadn’t felt in years.

For that painting, you would pay.

“One thousand,” You said, calm and confident.

Silence followed. You were almost sure the gavel would fall in your favor—until a voice cut through the room from the opposite side.

“One thousand five hundred.”

Your brows furrowed, you turned toward the voice.

A man stood near the back, dressed in a dark tailored suit, confidence practically radiating off him. He didn’t glance your way—he didn’t need to. His presence demanded attention.

He raised his hand lazily, as if bidding wasn’t a matter of money, but sport.

You narrowed your eyes “Two thousand.”

His gaze finally met yours. There it was—heat, challenge, and a flicker of something unreadable in his sharp, dark eyes.

“Three thousand,” He said smoothly, lips curving just slightly.

Gasps rippled through the crowd.

You tilted your head, standing up straighter “Five thousand.”

He smirked, and for a moment, you could’ve sworn he was enjoying this far too much.

“Ten,” He said.

The room fell silent. You clenched your jaw. You could afford it. That wasn’t the issue, but you knew—knew—this wasn’t about the painting anymore.

It was about winning.

You.

Him.

The challenge hung in the air like a flame between gasoline.

The auctioneer cleared her throat “Ten thousand going once... going twice... Sold! To the gentleman in the back.”

A polite round of applause followed. You didn’t clap. You didn’t even look away.

He approached the painting as people began to scatter. Instead of admiring it, he turned to you.

Up close, he was even worse. Tall. Striking. Smug.

“You have good taste,” He said casually. “Shame it wasn’t enough.”

You scoffed “You just bought it to show off.”

He smiled “Maybe. Or maybe I just didn’t like the idea of losing to someone who pouts when they’re outbid.”

You blinked, insulted and impressed all at once “You don’t even care about the art.”

“And you do?” He asked, raising a brow.

You stepped closer “Yes. Not all of us are here to throw money around for fun.”

“Really?” He replied with an infuriating tilt of his head. “Then maybe next time, bring your A-game.”

And with that, he turned on his heel and walked away, the painting being rolled up behind him by the staff.

You glared at his back, your blood boiling.

“Asshole.”

You didn’t even know his name.

Not yet.

≪ °❈° ≫

“You have to be kidding me.”

Hongjoong let out a laugh, sharp and humorless, as he stared at his parents from across the long glass table. The grin tugging at his lips wasn’t amusement—it was disbelief. He leaned back in his chair, arms folded as if bracing himself from the weight of their absurdity.

“This is a joke, right? You’re trying to be funny.”

His father didn’t even blink “We’ve already discussed this.”

“No. You discussed it. I said no. Repeatedly.”

“You’ve been dodging this responsibility for years, Hongjoong,” His mother said, her tone gentle as she reached across the table to touch his arm. Her bracelets clinked softly against her wrist. “It’s time to step forward and take your place. As CEO. As a leader.”

“This isn’t about the company.” His voice was low, edged with something raw. “This is about control.”

She sighed, exchanging a glance with his father “Their daughter is smart, elegant, and from a reputable family. This alliance would benefit both of our companies.”

“Alliance,” He repeated bitterly, yanking his arm away. “That’s all this is to you, isn’t it? A transaction.”

“You're not a child anymore,” His father said firmly. “This is how the world works. Marriage is a strategy. And we expect you to do your part.”

“Yeah? Then maybe you should marry her,” Hongjoong snapped. “You seem more excited about the merger than I ever will be.”

His father’s expression hardened “You will attend the dinner on Friday. You will behave like a Kim. And you will stop acting like this is optional.”

A heavy silence followed. Hongjoong clenched his jaw, the storm in his chest crackling just beneath the surface.

He pushed his chair back and stood, pacing toward the tall window that overlooked the city. He hated how small everything looked from here. Like every decision made in these rooms towered over people’s actual lives.

His life.

His fists tightened at his sides “You’re marrying me off like I’m some pawn in a business deal.”

“You’re the heir,” His father said without flinching. “That means sacrifices.”

Hongjoong turned his head slightly, a bitter smile playing on his lips “And what if I go to this dinner and make sure she hates me?”

His father met his gaze coolly “Then you better hope she’s more mature than you.”

He wanted to scream, break something, walk out and never look back. Instead, he let out a breath and forced the heat back down.

“Fine,” He muttered, voice low and venomous. “I’ll go to the damn dinner. But don’t expect me to make it easy.”

Later that night, Hongjoong sat on the edge of his bed, flipping through his phone absentmindedly, not really seeing the screen. His mind was stuck on the same loop.

Married. To some spoiled corporate princess. Probably someone who thought charity galas and overpriced art made her cultured.

He scoffed. What was the name again? Something with a J… he didn’t care.

They’d probably sit through one awkward dinner, hate each other, and their parents would drop the plan.

He just had to be himself. That always scared people off.

But in the back of his mind, something twisted uncomfortably. That girl from the auction… Auction Girl with the sharp tongue and dagger eyes. The only one who’d dared to go head-to-head with him in a room full of sycophants.

No way. It couldn’t be her… Could it?

He shook the thought away. Didn’t matter. Whoever she was, he’d make sure she wanted out just as badly as he did.

This would never work. Not with him.

He’d make sure of it.

—

The soft clicking of your heels echoed through the marble hallway as you entered your family’s estate the next morning, still mildly seething from last night’s art auction.

That man—whoever he was—had single-handedly managed to ruin your mood, snatch your favorite painting, and do it all while wearing a stupidly attractive smirk.

You weren’t even mad about losing the auction. You were mad because he knew exactly what he was doing.

You didn’t even get his name, you didn’t care to. You just hoped you’d never have to see his smug face again.

Your mother’s voice pulled you out of your thoughts “There you are. Sit, we need to talk.”

You stopped in your tracks, narrowing your eyes “That never means anything good.”

Your father set his coffee down, eyes gleaming with satisfaction “We’ve just gotten off a call with CEO Kim.”

“Kim?” You asked confused.

“Kim Enterprises,” Your mother clarified with a smile. “They’re also a very influential name in the industry. Turns out they’ve been looking for a potential wife for their youngest son as well.”

You felt a cold chill wrap around your spine.

“We suggested a dinner. They agreed. It’s set for this Friday evening.”

You blinked. Your parents looked so pleased with themselves.

“You’re serious?” You asked, disbelief curling into your voice.

“This is perfect timing,” Your father said, clearly already planning your future. “Their family is just as eager to finalize something as we are. It's good business.”

“Right. Of course,” You muttered, standing up. “God forbid I fall in love first.”

Your mother gave you a look “Don’t be dramatic. You’ll thank us later.”

°❈°

You wore your best black dress.

Not because you wanted to impress anyone—but because if your parents were going to drag you into another business proposal disguised as a dinner, you might as well look like you had control over something.

The restaurant was fancy. Too fancy. The kind of place that served food in portions so small they looked like abstract art.

You and your parents arrived early. You sat in cold silence while they chatted about wine pairings and stock prices.

Then the Kim family arrived, and your heart stopped.

Your eyes locked with his.

No fucking way…

He paused too. That smug, art-stealing, sunset-painting-snatching bastard from the auction.

Your jaw dropped an inch. Not visibly, but enough to register the sheer shock running through you.

He raised a brow, clearly as startled as you were.

“You,” You said under your breath, too low for your parents to hear.

He gave a slow, amused tilt of his head “You.”

The same cocky smirk spread across his face. God, you hated it. And hated even more how ridiculously good he looked in that suit.

“Wait…” He said after a beat, eyes narrowing slightly. “Don’t tell me you’re the girl I’m supposed to be—”

“Unfortunately,” You cut him off with a tight smile.

Your mother blinked at the tension “Oh? You two know each other?”

“Not exactly,” You both said at the same time.

He slid into the seat directly across from you, elbows on the table like he owned it. The back-and-forth between the parents blurred into background noise as you glared at each other in silence.

“So,” He said eventually, low enough only you could hear, “Was it the painting or the defeat that still has you pouting?”

You narrowed your eyes “I wasn’t pouting. I was mourning the loss of art to someone who doesn’t appreciate it.”

“Mm.” He tilted his head. “You're still mad I outbid you. Cute.”

You leaned forward, voice syrupy sweet “You’re going to regret this entire dinner.” You stabbed your salad with more force than necessary.

His smirk grew “Oh, I’m counting on it.”

As dinner went on, you traded more jabs than actual conversation. He teased you with sharp wit and a calm arrogance that made your blood boil. You, in turn, matched him jab for jab, pretending not to notice when his gaze lingered just a little too long.

As dessert was served, he leaned over just a bit and whispered, “So, future fiancée… what pet name should I start calling you? Darling? Princess? Or should we stick with auction girl?”

You turned your head slowly, gave him your iciest stare, and whispered back, “How about we start with stranger and keep it that way forever?”

He just chuckled, low and shameless.

You hated him.

God, you hated him.

And you really hated the way part of you was already wondering what kind of kiss would wipe that grin off his face.

—

The clink of cutlery and low murmur of polite conversation echoed in the overly lavish dining room. You stared down at your untouched steak, the scent of truffle oil making your stomach turn more than it usually would—probably because of the man sitting directly across from you, wearing smugness like it was designer.

Hongjoong hadn’t said much since arriving. But when he did speak, it was always with that mocking smirk, like everything around him was some great inconvenience he couldn't be bothered to entertain.

Like you were an inconvenience.

“So,” Your father began, sipping his wine with a businesslike ease. “Now that we've met, we’d like to suggest a second dinner. Something a little more… personal.”

Your eyes snapped up “Personal?” You echoed, already dreading what was coming.

“Yes,” His mother chimed in with a smile so graceful it was almost threatening. “You two need time to get to know one another. Without us around.”

“Oh,” You said flatly, barely able to feign surprise. “How modern of you.”

“A dinner. Just the two of you,” Your father confirmed, as if the decision had already been made and you’d missed your chance to object. “Before we begin making formal arrangements.”

Hongjoong leaned back in his seat with a dramatic sigh “Wow. A whole date. Are we allowed to pick our own clothes too, or do you have a stylist in mind?”

You shot him a sharp look “We could also skip dinner and just send each other resumes.”

“I’d rather not see yours,” He replied dryly, not missing a beat. “I already know you buy overpriced art and roll your eyes like it’s your full-time job.”

Your mother cleared her throat sharply, offering a tight smile “Kids, please.”

You exhaled and turned back to your plate, forcing your fork into a green bean like it was his face. You weren’t about to argue at this table, not with your parents so clearly smug about finally having their first and last alliance in motion.

“Fine,” You muttered.

Hongjoong raised a brow “Fine?”

You met his gaze with a smile that didn’t reach your eyes “Yeah. Let’s get it over with. Who knows? Maybe you’ll surprise me and act like a decent human being for one night.”

His grin widened “And maybe you’ll realize not everything is about business and daddy’s approval.”

Before either of you could throw more venom across the table, your father clapped his hands together lightly.

“Perfect,” He said. “We’ll arrange the restaurant. Tomorrow night sounds good?”

Hongjoong tilted his head toward you “Your schedule free, Princess of Jeong Enterprises?”

You didn’t blink “Only because I feel bad for the staff who’ll have to deal with your personality.”

His father chuckled, clearly trying to pass it off as charming tension “They’re fiery, these two. That’s good—it means chemistry.”

You both spoke at the same time: “No, it doesn’t.”

≪ °❈° ≫

The restaurant his father picked was absurdly expensive. One of those places where the chairs were more comfortable than your bed and the menu had no prices.

The kind of place that screamed old money and power plays, and you could practically feel the deals being whispered across other tables.

You showed up in a sleek emerald dress, hair up, lips a muted wine-red. Not because you wanted to impress him—God, no—but because you were raised to never look like you lost, no matter how bad the game was rigged.

He was already there when you arrived, legs crossed, shirt unbuttoned just low enough to be criminal. A glass of wine swirled lazily in one hand, that trademark smirk stretched across his face like he’d been waiting to say something infuriating.

“You’re late,” He said as you sat.

You tossed your clutch onto the table and smiled sweetly “I had to talk myself out of setting this place on fire.”

“Romantic,” He said, raising his glass. “I like a woman with ambition.”

You rolled your eyes but grabbed the wine list anyway “Let’s try something new tonight.”

He blinked “What’s that?”

“Civility.” You looked him dead in the eye. “We’re going to get through this dinner without trading insults like we’re on some drama series.”

He leaned in slightly, intrigued “And if I slip?”

“Then I’ll pretend you didn’t. But only once.”

Hongjoong stared at you for a second, then nodded, surprisingly earnest “Alright. No jabs. Just dinner.”

The waiter arrived, and for the first time, silence fell between you—not uncomfortable, just… curious. He ordered something obscure off the menu with casual ease. You followed suit, mostly to prove you could keep up.

When the waiter left, he rested his chin on one hand and looked at you differently this time. Not as a rival or a nuisance, but as someone trying to see past the façade.

“So,” He said, lazily swirling the deep red in his glass, “Tell me something you’d never put on a résumé.”

You arched a brow “That’s your idea of small talk?”

He leaned back, eyes glinting with mischief “I already know the work you run under your father’s name. Figured I’d dig deeper.”

You narrowed your eyes, lips curling into a half-smile “Fine. I once punched a boy at a piano recital because he called me a spoiled brat.”

That got a full laugh from him. Not a mocking scoff, but a genuine, startled laugh that made his nose crinkle a little and his shoulders shake.

“Was he wrong?”

You took a calm sip of wine, gaze steady “Doesn’t matter. He cried.”

“Damn,” He grinned. “You were scary at ten.”

“Still am.”

He tilted his head, clearly enjoying himself “Alright, your turn. Ask away.”

You studied him for a beat, your tone cooling as your eyes searched his “What’s something you wouldn’t want your parents to know?”

For the first time tonight, he didn’t have an answer ready. His fingers tapped once against the stem of his glass, and then he smiled—but it didn’t quite reach his eyes.

“…The things I do when they’re not watching.”

You paused, brow furrowed “What kind of things?”

He looked at you then—not with teasing, but with a flash of something wilder, untamed, just under the surface.

“Fun things,” He said simply. “Things that remind me I’m still my own person. Maybe one day, I’ll invite you.”

You leaned back, letting that settle. His eyes were still on you, waiting, testing.

You gave him a sweet, practiced smile “No thanks.”

He clicked his tongue, not even pretending to be wounded “Your loss, Daddy’s girl.”

“You’re still an arrogant jerk,” You said smoothly, finally cutting into your food.

“But you’re still here,” He pointed out, slicing into his steak with irritating calm.

“I’m here because it’s expected.”

“And yet,” He said, voice low, “You didn’t cancel. You didn’t storm out. You’re talking to me like I’m human.”

You glanced up at him, fork paused mid-air.

“Maybe I’m just trying to see if there’s anything human beneath the smirk,” You replied coolly.

His smile softened. Just a little “You’re better at this than I thought.”

“At what?”

“Surviving people like me.”

You didn’t respond to that. Not right away. The silence between you now was different—less combative, more... aware. He looked at you like he was waiting for something, but you weren’t going to give it to him.

Not yet.

“Let me guess,” He said, breaking the silence. “You’ll go back home tonight, pour yourself a drink, and swear this never happened.”

You leaned forward slightly, eyes sharp “And you’ll pretend you didn’t enjoy it.”

He opened his mouth to reply—but the waiter arrived to clear your plates and ask about dessert. You both said no at the same time.

Hongjoong stood first, walking around the table to offer his hand. You stared at it for a beat too long before placing yours in his, more out of pride than politeness.

He didn’t let go right away.

“Careful,” He said softly. “We might start getting along.”

You pulled your hand back “Don’t get ahead of yourself.”

Outside, the night was cool, city lights flickering like quiet fireworks. He walked beside you, for once not trying to dominate the space.

“I’ll walk you to your car,” He offered.

You didn’t argue.

When you reached it, you turned to face him “Tell your father we did it. We played nice. Mission accomplished.”

He nodded, but didn’t move.

Then, quietly, “You really don’t want this, do you?”

The question caught you off guard—not because it was wrong, but because of how softly he asked it.

You looked at him, really looked at him. The cocky front, the designer jacket, the smirk that was always half a second away.

And under it all, someone just as trapped as you.

“No,” You said, honest for once. “I don’t.”

He nodded slowly, hands in his pockets “Same.”

For a moment, that was enough. Shared honesty in a life full of pretense.

Then he smirked again—because of course he did—and stepped back.

“See you at the next forced family gathering, Auction Girl.”

You slid into your car with a sigh, started the engine, and muttered, “Still hate him.”

But your reflection in the rearview mirror said otherwise.

°❈°

Asshole Kim: See you at 8 sharp at Aurora’s Restaurant, my threat.

Asshole Kim: Don't be late, daddy’s girl.

You had scoffed when you read that message, and something deep inside you told you to not show up and stay at home, but here you were.

The rooftop restaurant was all soft lights and quiet jazz, perched high enough above the city that it felt like you could breathe a little easier.

The sky was still holding onto the last blush of twilight, stars shyly blinking through the haze. A warm breeze carried the scent of gardenias and grilled seafood, the kind of detail Hongjoong’s money could definitely afford.

You checked your phone again, he was twenty-seven minutes late.

You crossed your legs, uncrossed them, then crossed them again in the opposite direction. The waiter had already come by twice asking if you’d like to start with a drink or an appetizer. The third time, you just nodded and asked for sparkling water.

Maybe he was stuck in traffic. Maybe something came up, but deep down, you knew.

You knew he wouldn't come.

Still, you waited. Like a fool in heels and a dress you didn’t even like that much.

At 8:44, your phone buzzed.

Asshole Kim: Rain’s coming. Hope you brought an umbrella, auction girl.

You stared at the message.

No apology. No explanation.

Not even a proper excuse.

You looked up at the sky just as a low rumble echoed across the city. The first drop hit your shoulder a minute later. Then another, and another.

By the time you finally waved the waiter over and said, “Forget it,” your dress was damp and your pride was soaked straight through.

You ordered a cocktail anyway, because if you were going to cry later, you wanted to do it with a damn lemon twist in hand.

He is going to regret it.

—

“Whoa, why does my princess look like she’s plotting a murder?”

You halted at the top of the stairs, eyes narrowing at the familiar voice drifting from the kitchen. There, standing by the counter with a grin too amused for your mood, was your brother—tall, annoyingly handsome, and dressed like he had just walked off a magazine cover.

A sigh escaped you before your feet moved on their own, rushing down the steps and straight into his arms. You buried your face in his chest, his cologne warm and nostalgic.

“I hate him,” You muttered against the fabric of his shirt, your voice muffled.

Yunho chuckled, wrapping his arms around you protectively, one hand gently patting your damp hair.

“I’m sorry Mom and Dad are forcing you into this mess. If I hadn’t chosen to be an actor,” He grumbled, “This would’ve been my mess.”

“Don’t say that,” You added quickly, pulling back just enough to meet his eyes. “This is your dream, Yunho. I’m proud of you for chasing it. And I’m happy at least one of us gets to do what they love.”

He sighed, brushing a strand of hair away from your face “Yeah, but I was supposed to be the heir. The one dealing with business meetings and arranged marriages and... this whole circus. Not you.”

“I grew up knowing this would be my future,” You said, voice quiet, resigned. “Doesn’t mean I want it. But it’s not your fault.”

He didn’t look convinced.

“Anyway,” You said, forcing a smile, “I didn’t even know you were coming. I thought you were in pre-production for your next project?”

“I was. Dad forced me to take two weeks off before the shoot.”

You arched an eyebrow “Let me guess. To attend the fake wedding?”

He smirked “Bingo.”

“Well,” You sighed, linking your arm with his as you both leaned against the kitchen island, “At least I’ll have your emotional support until Jongho and Yeosang get back from their trip.”

“Do they know about any of this?”

“Not yet. I’m waiting to tell them in person. I want to see their reactions.”

You both laughed, the first real laugh you’d had all day. But of course, peace didn’t last long.

The clicking of heels and the smooth hum of your father’s voice announced their arrival before they even entered the room.

“Ah, there you are,” Your mother said, striding in with all the grace of a queen who knew the kingdom bowed to her whims. “Perfect timing.”

Your father followed, adjusting the cuffs of his custom suit “There’s a meeting with the Kims tomorrow. We’ll be discussing the ceremony theme, preliminary guest lists, and potential photographers.”

Yunho glanced at you “That sounds… thrilling.”

Your smile dropped “Are you serious?”

“Deadly,” Your father replied. “This is not just a wedding. This is an alliance. Every detail matters.”

You folded your arms “And I assume I don’t get a say in anything?”

“Of course you do,” Your mother said lightly. “You’ll be there, won’t you?”

Yunho muttered under his breath, “This is worse than one of my historical dramas.”

“Get well dressed,” Your mother said, already turning away. “You must give good impressions.”

As they disappeared down the hall, Yunho glanced at you with a raised brow.

“Want me to fake a car accident? We could postpone the meeting a few days.”

You snorted “Tempting.”

“Just say the word.”

You shook your head, but your smile was genuine this time “Thanks, Yunho. For being here.”

“Always.”

≪ °❈° ≫

The Kims arrived at the private lounge your father had reserved inside one of the most exclusive hotels in the city. The floor-to-ceiling windows displayed a postcard view of the skyline, the room was lined with velvet chairs and gold-accented decor—but all of it felt as cold and artificial as the smile you wore.

You sat stiffly beside Yunho, legs crossed, arms folded, heart simmering. Across the table, Hongjoong leaned back like he owned the world, dressed like he hadn't just stood you up the night before.

His eyes flicked to you once, casually. Yunho noticed your tightening grip on the menu.

Your father began speaking, something about floral palettes and venues, and his voice was just white noise as you locked eyes with the boy you were supposed to marry.

You smiled sweetly. Too sweetly.

“So…” You said, cutting into the conversation like a blade. “Before we get into seating arrangements and centerpieces, maybe we should talk about how your charming son invited me to a rooftop dinner last night… and never showed up.”

The room went still. Even the waiter paused mid-pour.

Hongjoong tilted his head, lips curling ever so slightly “Did you enjoy the view at least?”

“Not as much as you enjoyed whatever the hell you were doing,” You snapped. “Though I imagine your friends made great company.”

—

Bass thumped against the walls of the neon-lit club, making the floors vibrate and the air heavy with heat, sweat, and music. Bottles lined the VIP table, glowing under pulsing lights, half-empty and tilted dangerously.

The usual chaos of a Saturday night was in full bloom—and at the center of it all sat Hongjoong, grinning, sprawled out like a king on his throne.

He had one arm thrown around a girl in a red mini dress and another girl twirling strands of his hair between her fingers while laughing at something he hadn’t even said.

Smoke curled from the cigarette in his hand, held between elegant fingers like it belonged in a painting.

“Hyung, I swear you’ve collected more girls in one night than I have in my whole damn life,” Mingi laughed, tipping his drink toward him.

San laughed too, sitting across the booth, cheeks already red from whatever was in his cup.

“He’s just trying to say goodbye to bachelor life in style.”

Wooyoung leaned in with a wicked grin “That, or he’s testing how far he can go before his fiancée murders him.”

“Fiancée?” Hongjoong snorted, dragging lazily from his cigarette. “She’s not my wife yet.”

Just then, a girl straddled his lap and kissed him like she had something to prove. He let her, and didn’t stop her.

Seonghwa, sitting a little apart from the chaos, frowned over the rim of his drink. After a moment, he set it down and leaned closer, voice low and cutting through the noise.

“You’re pushing it, Hongjoong.”

“Pushing what?” He asked lazily, still reclined, still amused.

Seonghwa didn’t smile “You’re engaged. You left her alone at a restaurant you invited her to. What are you doing?”

Hongjoong flicked ash into a tray, lips curving just slightly “Teaching her how this works.”

Seonghwa’s eyes darkened “She didn’t ask for this arrangement either, and you know it. She’s trying. You’re just—what? Acting out? Throwing a tantrum because this isn’t your choice?”

“I’m just having fun,” Hongjoong said with a shrug. “Not like she was expecting anything real.”

“You’re not a kid anymore, Joong,” Seonghwa snapped, the nickname laced with disappointment. “You can’t play around like this when there are real consequences. Especially not when her family’s name is involved.”

For a moment, something flickered behind Hongjoong’s eyes.

Then he smiled again, sharp and slow “She’ll get over it.”

Seonghwa sat back, shaking his head, clearly done “One day you’re going to look back and realize you were the villain in someone’s story.”

Hongjoong tossed back the rest of his drink and nodded toward the crowd “Let me be the villain, then. At least I’ll look good doing it.”

And with that, he disappeared into the lights again—laughing, smoking, and kissing someone else.

—

Hongjoong smirked at the memories of last night.

Mrs. Kim stiffened beside her husband “Hongjoong. Tell me you didn’t—”

“I did,” He said plainly, no remorse, no excuses.

You heard your mother inhale sharply. Your father, ever the diplomat, simply leaned back with narrowed eyes. But it was Yunho who spoke next.

“What the hell is wrong with you?” His tone was sharp, unfiltered, and utterly protective. “You humiliated her. You knew this wasn’t something she asked for, and you still chose to make it worse?”

“She’ll survive,” Hongjoong said, brushing invisible lint from his sleeve.

You pushed your chair back, rising to your feet “You’re right. I will survive. Because I know exactly who I’m dealing with now.”

Mrs. Kim looked mortified “Hongjoong, apologize. Now.”

He didn’t even flinch “For what? We’re not in love. This is business, remember?”

Your hands curled into tight fists at your sides, your jaw tightening with the effort it took not to scream. Yunho stood, his expression unreadable as he moved to your side.

“Maybe next time,” Yunho said coolly, his gaze pinned on Hongjoong like a blade, “Try not to burn the whole deal down before the engagement photoshoot.”

Your father cleared his throat, his voice clipped with restrained irritation “Which is happening in three days. I trust you’ll be there, Hongjoong.”

Hongjoong didn’t respond. He simply leaned back in his chair, arms crossed, looking like this entire arrangement bored him more than anything else.

≪ °❈° ≫

You stood under the soft glow of a cloudy afternoon, the sky threatening another downpour. The venue was exquisite—a garden lined with flowering cherry trees and elegant arches draped in white silk. Photographers bustled around the set, assistants adjusting the lighting and props.

You adjusted the bodice of your dress, a soft white gown that made you feel… almost like a bride. It wasn’t quite your wedding dress, but it was close enough to sting.

Still, if your face was going to be plastered on magazines, newspapers, and god-knows how many social media posts, you might as well look breathtaking.

You did it for your family. For the image. For the legacy they all seemed so obsessed with.

He arrived late, of course. And without even glancing your way, he walked onto the set, shrugging off his coat like he hadn’t left you standing alone in a restaurant just nights ago, like he hadn’t humiliated you with girls on his lap and cigarettes on his breath.

“Can we get this over with?” He muttered.

You turned away before the cameras started, took a breath, and pulled on your best smile.

Fake it. Perfect it. Make it look effortless.

The photographer directed you both “Hold her waist, Mr. Kim. Closer—yes, like that. Tilt your head toward him, miss. Look at him like you’re in love.”

You did it. You looked at him. Your fingers didn’t even shake as you rested them on his chest.

He didn’t look at you. He didn’t even try.

Photo after photo, pose after pose—you gave your best. Smiled, leaned in, touched him, even giggled once for the sake of it. But he was stiff, barely touching you, staring into the distance like none of it mattered.

And that’s when it cracked.

The frustration bubbled up—quiet, but scalding. Not because you loved him. Not because you wanted this.

But because you were trying, and he wasn’t.

“You could at least pretend,” You muttered under your breath as they reset the camera.

“I am pretending,” He replied without even looking.

You turned away, blinking quickly, lips pressed tight.

Then—suddenly—he looked at you.

For the first time, really looked.

The light caught you just right, haloing you in soft gold. Your hair frames your face, your dress hugging you like it was made for no one else. The way you held yourself—poised, unbothered, radiant—it hit him like a punch.

Something shifted in his eyes. It was small, quick—but there.

The silence stretched between you.

“What?” You asked, your voice sharper than intended.

He blinked, expression neutral again “Nothing.”

But his stare lingered a second longer.

For a moment, something in Hongjoong softened—barely noticeable, but it was there. He didn't speak again, but his posture relaxed, his hand on your waist finally settling like he meant it.

The photographer noticed immediately "Perfect—right there. Hold it. That’s beautiful," The man said, camera clicking rapidly. “Miss, tilt your head just a little. Yes. Mr. Kim, look at her like you mean it.”

He did. Not a fake, plastered smile. Not his usual smirk, but something different—curious, sharp, and unsure.

And that’s when the pictures started coming out good.

Really good.

For the rest of the shoot, Hongjoong stayed quiet. He did what he was told, stopped resisting your touch, and even leaned in slightly during the “candid” walking shots. The photographers were thrilled. Your parents looked relieved. Mrs. Kim dabbed her eyes like it was her actual wedding day.

But you? You felt tired.

Emotionally wrung out. Because none of it was real.

—

Later that night you were in his head.

Hongjoong threw his jacket onto the couch and collapsed onto it like gravity hit harder than usual. His hair was a mess from running his hands through it too much. A cigarette dangled between his fingers—unlit.

Across the room, his phone buzzed with texts from Seonghwa.

Hwa: You should’ve tried harder today. She looked like she was doing all the work.

Hwa: You’re lucky she’s the one keeping this ship afloat.

Hwa: Seriously, Hongjoong. You didn’t see her in that dress?

But he had, he saw you.

And that was the problem.

Your voice from earlier echoed in his mind: ‘You could at least pretend.’

At first, he thought you were just playing your part—perfect daughter, perfect bride, good at faking the dream everyone wanted you to sell.

But something about today… The way you tried. The way you held it together with grace while he crumbled under his own indifference. The way you looked at him even though he didn’t deserve it.

He lit the cigarette, and stared out the window for a long time.

°❈°

Your phone buzzed and rang like it had a personal vendetta against your sleep.

Groaning, you blindly reached for it on your nightstand, smacking everything in your path until your hand finally landed on the vibrating device.

You didn’t even get a word out before a furious voice barked through the speaker.

“When were you planning to tell me you're getting fucking married?!”

Your eyes blinked open, heavy and unfocused “Jongho… What?”

“You heard me,” He snapped. “There are literally thousands of articles with headlines like, ‘Kim and Jeong Enterprises Unite in Marriage Deal of the Decade.’ I had to find out with the rest of the damn internet!”

You shot upright in bed, heart slamming into your ribs “Wait—what?!”

“Oh, don’t act clueless,” He growled, frustration dripping from every syllable. “Don’t tell me you didn’t know this was going public today.”

You scrambled for your laptop, heart thudding as it booted up “I—No, they said the press release would be later. I thought I had more time—”

But the second you typed your name into the search bar, the truth slammed into your face. Your engagement was everywhere. Articles, paparazzi photos, those damn photos from the rooftop shoot, all carefully curated and flawlessly edited.

The dress. The smiles. The ring.

All of it plastered across glossy sites like it was the love story of the century.

You felt sick “No fucking way…” You whispered.

“Yeosang’s freaking out, by the way,” Jongho added coldly. “And I’m mad enough that the first thing I’m gonna do when I land is kick your ass.”

“Jongho, I swear I was going to tell you. I wanted to do it when you both came back. I didn’t know the release was this soon—I didn’t even know they’d picked a date.”

There was a pause. You could hear his deep breathing through the line, probably pacing, trying to calm down.

“…We’re coming back in three days,” He said finally. “And when we do, I want every single detail—from the second they dropped this on you to why in God’s name you’re marrying Kim fucking Hongjoong.”

You sighed, rubbing your temples “Trust me. I’d love someone to explain that to me, too.”

As if the universe wasn’t done spitting on your day, your phone lit up again—this time with a text from your mother:

Mom: Final wedding arrangements this afternoon. Meeting at the Kim estate. Wear something elegant, dear.’

And just below it, another message from Mrs. Kim:

Mrs. Kim: We’ve decided to move things up. The ceremony will be in seven days.

Seven. Days.

You stared at the screen.

“You still there?” Jongho asked.

You swallowed the rising panic “Yeah… I’m here.”

“You okay?”

You looked at the dress in one of the photos—smiling beside a man who barely acknowledged you in real life—and forced your voice to stay steady.

“…I will be.”

°❈°

The smell of stale alcohol and too-sweet perfume clung to every corner of Hongjoong’s apartment. Clothes littered the expensive marble floor like confetti after a parade, and the low groans of hungover men filled the air like background noise to a very specific kind of regret.

Hongjoong stood shirtless in front of the massive living room window, sipping an iced Americano with one hand, the other scrolling lazily through his phone.

“You’re trending again,” Seonghwa’s voice cut through the haze.

He was the only one who hadn’t drunk himself into oblivion the night before, which meant he had taken it upon himself to cook eggs no one asked for while judgmentally sipping tea.

Hongjoong didn’t look up “Am I? What’s it for this time—my devilish charm or my perfect jawline?”

Seonghwa raised an eyebrow “Try your engagement.”

At that, Hongjoong finally glanced over, taking the phone Seonghwa was holding out. The headline stared back at him in bold:

‘Business Royalty: Kim Hongjoong and Jeong Heiress to Tie the Knot in a Power Marriage’

‘Photos Released of the Couple's Stunning Rooftop Shoot’

Underneath it—your face, radiant in that white dress. The soft wind catching your hair just right. Your eyes, poised and hopeful despite everything.

And next to you? Hongjoong, looking like he couldn’t be bothered to fake a smile.

Wooyoung stumbled in wearing nothing but someone else’s hoodie, holding his head.

“Why is it so damn bright in here? And why do I hear wedding bells in my hangover?”

“Because our boy here,” Seonghwa said dryly, “Forgot he’s not just a party prince anymore.”

San and Mingi emerged from opposite ends of the apartment, each accompanied by barely-dressed women who looked equally disoriented.

“Did I miss something?” San asked, scratching his head.

“We’re famous,” Wooyoung said, flopping dramatically onto the couch. “Again. Except this time because Joongie’s getting married.”

Mingi blinked “Wait, like… married married? I thought you were going to cancel it like the others.”

Hongjoong dropped into an armchair with a sigh, throwing his head back and letting out a lazy chuckle.

“Relax, it’s not like it’s real.”

Seonghwa’s stare sharpened “It is real, whether you want it to be or not. That girl in the photo? She showed up. She did her part. You barely even tried.”

Hongjoong waved him off “It’s just a bunch of photos, Hwa.”

“No,” Seonghwa snapped. “It’s someone’s life. And if you keep treating her like she’s disposable, this whole deal is going to collapse.”

“Why do you even care?” Hongjoong muttered, not bothering to hide his irritation.

“Because I’m not a child,” Seonghwa bit back. “And because you’re acting like one. If you're so dead-set on hating this arrangement, fine. But at least stop embarrassing her every step of the way.”

For a moment, silence hung heavy in the room.

Then one of the girls—half-dressed and yawning—wandered by, grabbing a glass of water from the kitchen, clearly overhearing none of it.

Hongjoong looked back down at the article.

His eyes lingered, just for a second, on your smile.

The one he hadn’t even tried to earn.

≪ °❈° ≫

The grand parlor of the Kim estate was as cold and sterile as ever—pristine white walls, tall glass windows, and staff that hovered like ghosts. You sat on the long velvet couch, your back straight despite how much you wanted to scream.

Across from you, Hongjoong lounged like he had nothing better to do—legs spread, one arm thrown over the back of the chair, chewing on gum like a delinquent dragged to Sunday mass. His black shirt was half unbuttoned, sunglasses still on indoors, and he hadn’t said a word since the meeting started.

Mrs. Kim exchanged a look with your mother, that tight, polished smile women like them had mastered over the years—the one that said we will not have scandal.

“I trust everything is in order for the final fitting,” Your mother said with forced calm.

“We’ll have the stylists arrive tomorrow,” Mrs. Kim replied. “The ceremony will be simple and elegant. Intimate.”

Your father, meanwhile, was going over numbers with Mr. Kim in the corner like this was nothing but a corporate merger—which, to them, it was.

And Hongjoong? He yawned, loudly.

You snapped “Can I speak to you? Alone.”

Everyone looked up, startled, but you didn’t wait for a reply. You stood and walked out to the hallway, heels echoing with purpose. After a long pause, Hongjoong followed, dragging his feet like a child called to the principal’s office.

The second the door closed behind him, you turned.

“You don’t want to do this?” You hissed, eyes blazing. “Guess what—me neither. But at least I’m not acting like a fucking child.”

He scoffed, removing his sunglasses “Wow. Did someone spike your tea this morning, Princess?”

You took a step forward, chest tight with frustration “Stop this. Grow the hell up. You’re going to be the CEO of Kim Enterprises the second we sign that marriage certificate. Start acting like it.”

He blinked at you. You weren’t sure if it was shock or amusement behind those eyes, but for once, he didn’t have a witty comeback.

You took a breath “I don’t care if you hate me. I don’t care if you hate this arrangement. But you will stop making me look like an idiot in front of our families. I’m doing my part. Do yours.”

He studied you for a beat. And for the first time, maybe ever, there was no smugness in his expression. Just something unreadable.

“…Fine,” He muttered eventually, voice low. “I’ll behave.”

You didn’t thank him. You just turned and walked back inside.

°❈°

Three days later, your room was filled with takeout boxes, the smell of fried chicken, and the comforting chaos of your best friends.

Jongho flopped onto your couch, Yeosang perched on the arm like he always did, arms crossed and brow furrowed.

“You have thirty seconds before I start screaming again,” Jongho said, mouth full of rice.

You took a deep breath, hands nervously fidgeting in your lap “It’s a fake marriage.”

Both boys stared.

“Our parents are merging companies. The marriage makes the deal more appealing. We sign the papers, attend a few public events, play the happy couple, and when the time is right… we get divorced quietly.”

Yeosang’s jaw clenched “And you just… agreed to this?”

“I didn’t have much of a choice,” You said bitterly. “If I didn’t go along with it, everything my parents built—including the parts I built—would collapse. They backed me into a corner.”

Jongho looked like he was going to explode “And Hongjoong? That arrogant bastard—he’s okay with all of this?”

You scoffed “He’s worse than okay. He doesn’t give a damn about anything but keeping his position. He acts like I’m the inconvenience. Like I’m the joke.”

Yeosang reached over and gently squeezed your hand “You’re not a joke,” He said. “You’re being used.”

“I know,” You whispered. “But I’m also not a victim. I’m going to play their game. And I’m going to win.”

Jongho wiped his mouth and leaned back “We’re here now. We’ve got your back. Just say the word if he steps out of line again.”

You smiled softly.

“Thanks. I might need you both sooner than you think.”

°❈°

The ballroom shimmered in gold and ivory. Chandeliers sparkled above, string quartets played softly in the background, and every step echoed on polished marble floors.

Your engagement party—lavish, glittering, perfect on paper.

You stood near the entrance, your white satin dress hugging your figure like it had been sewn onto your skin. Elegant, timeless. A picture of grace.

Hongjoong arrived fashionably late, of course.

His grey tuxedo was sharp, no tie, shirt unbuttoned just enough to hint rebellion. But for once… he looked the part. He walked beside you, greeting your guests with polite nods, hand occasionally brushing yours in a way that might look romantic to outsiders.

You were stunned—he was actually trying tonight.

And then your eyes met his friends. Seonghwa greeted you first, a soft smile on his lips and warm, graceful hands offering yours a gentle shake.

“I’ve heard a lot about you,” He said sincerely. “It’s nice to finally meet you.”

You smiled back “Same here. You’re the one who’s always trying to keep Hongjoong in line, right?”

Seonghwa chuckled “Trying being the keyword.”

Behind him were San, Wooyoung and Mingi—loud, teasing, chaotic energy that made the room spin in a different way. They immediately began bantering with Jongho and Yeosang, the atmosphere lightening as drinks flowed.

Everything seemed to be going… well.

Until it wasn’t.

You stood with Hongjoong at the edge of the dance floor, pretending to laugh at some executive’s dull story. The fake smile on your face ached. You turned to him and muttered under your breath:

“I’m surprised. You’re actually behaving tonight.”

He took a sip of champagne, eyes glinting “Don’t get used to it. I’d still rather be spending the night with a random girl than stuck here with you at this fake-ass party.”

You blinked. One second passed. Two. And then you smiled—sharp, saccharine. You leaned in, just close enough for only him to hear.

“Well, I’d much rather be marrying Park Seonghwa than you.”

The words hit their target like a bullet. Hongjoong froze, jaw tightening ever so slightly. He laughed under his breath, too forced, too tight.

“Good one.” But his eyes didn’t match his smirk.

He didn’t say anything else for a while—not to you, not to anyone. His attention shifted constantly, drink after drink disappearing a little too fast.

And when Seonghwa asked you for a dance—gentle, respectful, with none of the mocking edge Hongjoong always wore—Hongjoong didn’t say a word.

But his eyes followed every step. Every turn. Every smile you gave that wasn’t for him.

He hated it.

Later that night, when everyone was distracted and the lights were softer, you felt a hand at your lower back.

“Don’t flirt with my friends,” Hongjoong muttered, his voice a quiet growl against your ear. “You might make me jealous.”

You turned, brows raised, lips parted in faux surprise “Might?”

He stared down at you, something dangerous brewing behind his usual indifference.

And that’s when the slow burn really began.

≪ °❈° ≫

Your friends and older brother didn’t take no for an answer.

“No sulking,” Yeosang warned. “You’re getting married in two days, we are dragging you out.”

“And you're going to wear something hot,” Jongho added, tossing you a barely-there black dress.

“Also,” Yunho chimed in with a wink, “I’m getting us into that club.”

You groaned but relented. Maybe letting loose for one night wouldn’t kill you.

The place was loud, neon, packed wall to wall with pulsing energy. The music was deep, sensual—bass heavy and addicting. Lights flickered across bodies moving in sync.

You were in the middle of the lower dance floor with your best friends, laughing, letting yourself relax as the drinks hit just right.

For the first time in weeks… you felt good.

—

Upstairs, in the VIP section. Hongjoong leaned back into the plush leather couch, a girl draped over his lap. She laughed, running her fingers through his hair, her lipstick smudged on his jaw.

Wooyoung was pouring another round of shots, San hyping the DJ like his life depended on it. Seonghwa, as usual, looked vaguely disappointed by everything around him.

“Man, you’re really living it up before the wedding,” San teased, clinking his glass against Hongjoong’s.

Hongjoong shrugged, kissing the girl again, lazily “It’s not like it’s real.”

“You’re going to regret this,” Seonghwa said, his tone half-serious, half-exhausted.

Hongjoong rolled his eyes “Please.”

But then—

“Yo.” Wooyoung leaned forward, squinting toward the dance floor below. “Isn’t that your fiancée?”

Hongjoong didn’t even turn at first “So?”

“She’s dancing,” San added, his grin wide. “Looking good, by the way.”

Still nothing.

“Some dude just asked her to dance,” Wooyoung sing-songed. “Ohhh. She said yes.”

Hongjoong’s head snapped up. He leaned forward, eyes locking on the moving crowd—until he found you.

You were laughing, your head tossed back, hair wild, hips swaying with the music and the boy who had his hands a little too close to your waist.

Something hot, sharp, and completely irrational stabbed through his chest. Without a word, Hongjoong shoved the girl off his lap.

“Hey!” She protested.

He didn’t even look at her.

Down the stairs. Through the crowd. Straight to you.

Your back was turned, too caught up in the music and fun to notice him—until he was there. He grabbed your wrist, not harsh, but firm enough to make you spin around.

“Having fun?” He asked, voice low, biting.

You blinked, surprised—and then annoyed “Yeah. I was. What are you doing here?”

He didn’t answer. His gaze flicked to the guy you were dancing with.

“Get lost.”

The poor boy looked confused, but one look at Hongjoong’s expression and he backed away fast.

You yanked your wrist free “What the hell is wrong with you?”

He stepped closer “You’re really out here letting some stranger put his hands on you?”

You scoffed “Oh, I’m sorry. Did I interrupt your make-out session upstairs?”

“I wasn’t—” He started, then stopped, clearly caught.

You shook your head “Unbelievable.”

“You’re mine—” He snapped before catching himself, the words hanging between you.

You narrowed your eyes “Yours?”

The music kept thumping, bodies moved around you, but suddenly the whole world narrowed to just the two of you.

“I didn’t like seeing you with him,” Hongjoong said, quieter now, rough around the edges.

You crossed your arms “Get used to it. This marriage might be fake, but I’m still a real woman—and I can dance with whoever I want.”

Hongjoong didn’t say anything, just stared at you like he was seeing something for the first time. Really seeing you.

And for one second, it felt like maybe… just maybe… this wasn’t as fake as you both kept pretending it was.

≪ °❈° ≫

The sky was a perfect canvas that morning—painted in soft pastel pinks and golds, like even the universe decided to cooperate for your wedding day.

You stood in front of the mirror in your suite, the final touches of your makeup being fixed, the lace of your gown hugging your figure like it was sewn by the stars themselves.

The veil, light as air, shimmered under the chandelier’s light. You looked breathtaking. And for once… you allowed yourself to enjoy it.

You weren't in love. But you were here.

Maybe that was enough for today.

“Holy shit,” Yunho said from the doorway, eyes wide, voice low in awe. “You look like you walked straight out of a dream.”

You smiled softly “Let’s hope it doesn’t turn into a nightmare.”

He came closer, placing his hands on your shoulders “Whatever happens out there, know you’re doing great. You deserve a little magic, even if it’s fake.”

Meanwhile, across the venue, Hongjoong was anything but calm.

In his sleek black tux, hair slicked back with that perfect careless precision, he leaned against the balcony railing of his suite, a cigarette lit between his fingers though he wasn’t even smoking it.

Seonghwa watched him from the couch “You good?”

“I hate this,” Hongjoong muttered.

“The wedding?”

“Everything.”

“You saw her?”

A beat. Then, “Yeah.”

“And?”

Hongjoong took a drag, jaw clenched “She’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.”

Seonghwa’s brow lifted “So…?”

“So I don’t want anyone else seeing her like that. Not in that dress. Not with that smile.”

Seonghwa smirked “You’re jealous of people looking at your wife? You chose this arrangement, remember?”

“I didn’t choose to feel like this.”

But he didn’t let the conversation go further. He threw the cigarette over the edge and walked out before Seonghwa could say I told you so.

—

The ceremony was flawless.

Rows of carefully picked guests lined the outdoor aisle. Flowers bloomed in soft pastels across ivory arches. Music floated through the garden air.

When you walked down the aisle, the gasps were loud enough to hush the wind.

And Hongjoong… he forgot how to breathe.

He hated how you looked at him with those soft eyes. He hated how proud your parents looked. He hated how perfect this wedding was. Because it wasn’t supposed to feel like this.

You stood beside him, your hand brushing his as the officiant began to speak. And for a moment—just one—he looked at you like a man who could fall.

“You may now kiss the bride.”

He hesitated. You turned your face toward him, chin tilted up just slightly.

And when he kissed you—it wasn’t rough, or mocking, or cold.

It was soft.

Warm.

Too warm.

He pulled away too fast, like he’d been burned.

Later, during the reception, as you laughed with some guests, your laughter echoing under the twinkling lights strung across the venue, Hongjoong sat at your shared table watching you.

He sipped his champagne, eyes dark and unreadable.

“She really is something,” Wooyoung said, plopping down beside him. “You married a damn goddess.”

Hongjoong didn’t respond. He couldn’t.

Because he didn’t want to admit it—not to Wooyoung, not to Seonghwa, not even to himself—but the warmth spreading in his chest every time you smiled?

It was getting harder and harder to ignore.

—

The wedding was over.

The champagne had stopped flowing, the guests had left in glittering cars, and the night had finally gone quiet—except for the weight of expectation that clung to the air like thick velvet.

You stepped into the new house—your house now. A modern architectural dream gifted by your parents and his, sleek in marble and dark wood, cold as hell.

It didn't feel like home. Not even close.

The door clicked shut behind you, the echo sounding louder than you expected. Hongjoong entered a moment later, loosening the buttons of his shirt collar, jacket thrown carelessly over one arm.

“Home sweet home,” He muttered, his tone unreadable.

You didn’t answer, walking slowly into the space. You weren’t sure where you were going. Everything smelled new—like money and varnish and too many expectations.

Then, your steps stopped. You blinked.

There it was. Hanging in the living room.

The painting.

The exact same one you two had fought over the day you met—the one he stole out from under your nose at the gallery auction, the one that led to your first clash of pride and glares.

Your voice came out quieter than expected “You brought it here.”

He shrugged, not looking at you “It’s mine.”

You scoffed “So is this marriage. Doesn’t mean you actually want it.”

His jaw ticked “Don’t start.”

“Start what?” You turned to face him fully, arms crossed. “We’re married, Hongjoong. Might as well talk like it.”

He looked at you, something bitter swimming behind his dark eyes.

“Are you really this cold?” He asked suddenly. “You haven’t even flinched. You wore the dress, you kissed me in front of everyone, and now you're just—what? Fine with everything?”

You blinked “Would you prefer me to be crying in a corner?”

“No,” He said quickly. “I just… I thought you’d care a little more.”

“That I don’t care,” You said slowly, stepping closer, “Doesn’t mean I’m not exhausted.”

He laughed under his breath, humorless “You’re unbelievable.”

“And you’re a spoiled brat who’s mad because I don’t beg for your attention like the girls at the club.”

His jaw clenched again. The tension in the room crackled.

Then, he looked away “We should get some rest.”

“Right,” You said, your voice sharp. “Separate rooms, of course.”

But you didn’t move, and neither did he.

Finally, after a long silence, he spoke again—quieter this time.

“You looked beautiful today,” He said without looking at you. “The most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.”

You swallowed hard “Too bad you didn’t act like it meant anything.”

He looked at you then. And for the first time, something vulnerable cracked through his usual smug expression.

“I didn’t want it to,” He admitted. “But it did.”

You opened your mouth, but nothing came out.

And maybe he saw that your silence meant more than words could say, because he turned, walking away before you could reply, leaving you alone in the middle of the room, beneath the painting you both once fought over—now hanging over the cold marble of your shared house.

°❈°

Day Three.

The house was still too big. Too quiet.

You stood in the sleek, stainless-steel kitchen with a cup of tea in hand, watching the eggs sizzle in the pan. It wasn’t out of some wifely sense of duty—you were just hungry and annoyed and bored.

The silence was interrupted only by the sound of bare feet dragging on the polished floor.

Hongjoong walked in, shirtless, hair messy, a frown already etched into his face.

You didn’t say good morning.

He didn’t either.

He glanced at the breakfast you were making “You didn’t make any for me?”

You blinked at him “You weren’t here last night. I didn’t think you’d be here this morning.”

His eyes narrowed a bit, but he didn’t say anything. He grabbed a bottle of water and walked away without another word.

Day Five.

Dinner was even worse.

You were eating alone again.

Hongjoong had texted—"out with the guys, don’t wait up"—and you’d barely resisted the urge to throw your phone into the soup.

You stared across the long dining table at the empty chair and asked yourself, not for the first time, why am I even trying?

And then, the night you’d had enough arrived.

Day Ten.

2:13 AM.

The front door creaked open, followed by the heavy sound of Hongjoong’s boots stumbling across the entrance hall.

You were already sitting on the couch in the dark, arms crossed over your chest, jaw clenched.

The lights flicked on.

He flinched “…You’re up,” He said, his voice hoarse, reeking of alcohol and perfume.

You stood slowly, walking toward him “Your mother called.”

His face changed “Shit.”

“Yes,” You snapped. “Shit. She wanted to remind her beloved son that next weekend is the Celebration Party for the new CEO-to-be, and that he should show up with his wife.”

Hongjoong winced “Right…”

“Not ‘right.’ You’re going. I’m going. And for once in your life, Hongjoong, you will behave.”

His gaze sharpened “Don’t talk to me like I’m a child.”

“Then stop acting like one!” You exploded. “I didn’t want this marriage either, but I’m not out every night pretending it doesn’t exist!”

He opened his mouth, then closed it. For a second, he looked genuinely conflicted.

You stepped closer, your voice trembling slightly but firm “You don’t want to come home to me? Fine. You hate this arrangement? Me too. But guess what? It’s real now. The press, our parents, the public—they all think it’s real. So stop dragging me down just because you’re scared of admitting this is your life now.”

He stared at you. You saw it—the cracks forming behind the mask. Something messy and raw and real brewing just under his skin.

But as always, he pulled the curtain back down.

“Noted,” He said coldly, and brushed past you on the way to the stairs.

But that night, as you sat in the empty living room again, you heard his footsteps stop in the hallway.

He didn’t come back down.

But he didn’t go to his room either.

He just… stood there.

Like maybe, just maybe, he didn’t want to be so far from you.

≪ °❈° ≫

Everything glittered. The chandelier above was all diamonds and power. Music pulsed softly through the massive hall, every guest dressed in designer and dripping with old money confidence.

And then there was you. You stood at Hongjoong’s side in a black velvet gown that hugged your body like it had been sewn for it.

You looked the part. You played the part. A vision of calm, grace, and elegance.

But you were boiling inside.

Because of course, the moment you stepped into the party, Hongjoong had been swept away by daddy’s girls. Heiresses with shiny hair and sharper claws, all cooing over him like he wasn’t wearing a wedding ring—like you weren’t standing right there.

And the worst part? He let them.

Laughing softly at their jokes, leaning in too close, drinking their compliments like they were champagne.

You felt a rush of something hot in your chest—humiliation, frustration, and something dangerously close to jealousy.

You walked toward him, your heels clicking like gunshots on the marble floor, just as one of the girls reached up to adjust the collar of his suit.

He didn’t stop her.

Didn’t even blink.

“Enjoying the attention, husband?” You said sweetly, voice dripping in acid.

Hongjoong turned, clearly caught off guard—but not enough to look guilty.

You didn’t wait for an answer.

You smiled politely at the girls and slipped your arm around his “I hope we’re not forgetting that this party is to celebrate your future—and that includes your wife.”

The girls tittered awkwardly and backed off with murmured excuses. You dropped your arm the second they were gone, your voice a sharp whisper against his shoulder.

“You don’t get to act like that anymore.”

“What? I didn’t even do anything,” He said lazily, sipping from his drink.

“That’s the problem!” You snapped. “You did nothing. While they touched you and flirted with you and pretended I didn’t exist!”

His jaw ticked.

“I’m not some jealous teenager,” You hissed. “But if you ever humiliate me like that in public again, Hongjoong, so help me—”

“What?” He cut in, eyes dark. “You’ll get the marriage annulled? Run away? Go cry to Seonghwa again?”

The name landed like a slap. Your breath caught in your throat.

You glared at him, shaking with fury “You don’t get to bring him into this.”

“Why not?” He said, voice low and dangerous. “You used him to piss me off at the engagement party, didn’t you?”

You stared at him “So it did piss you off.”

He didn’t answer. Didn’t need to. It was all over his face.

You took a step back, lifting your chin “Then maybe you should’ve acted like you gave a damn tonight.”

And with that, you walked away, not giving him the satisfaction of seeing you falter.

But what you didn’t see… Was the way Hongjoong’s fingers curled into fists.

The way his eyes followed you with something almost bitter, almost regretful.

The way he didn’t smile for the rest of the night.

°❈°

You were curled up on the couch in a hoodie and shorts, flipping through your phone. You hadn’t spoken much to Hongjoong since the party. Just cold, careful silence. And the tension had built up like storm clouds in a glass house.

The front door slammed.

You barely looked up “I was wondering when you’d remember you live here,” You muttered.

Hongjoong’s voice echoed down the hallway, sharp and dark “Don’t start.”

You stood up “Oh, I’m starting?”

He walked in, still in his suit, hair tousled from the night air—or maybe from the party he stayed at without you.

“You disappeared from the party,” He said, tone accusatory.

You folded your arms “Because I got tired of watching my husband play bachelor in front of everyone.”

“I wasn’t—”

“If you want to play with girls,” You snapped, stepping toward him, “Go to a fucking motel where no one can see you. Don’t embarrass me like that again.”

His jaw clenched “You think I’m trying to embarrass you?”

You didn’t answer. You were already turning your back.

“Don’t walk away from me,” He growled.

But you did, and that was when it snapped.

He stormed forward, grabbing your wrist and spinning you around—and before you could open your mouth again, his lips crashed into yours.

It wasn’t soft.

It wasn’t sweet.

It was fire.

Possessive. Hungry. Deep.

You gasped against his mouth, but he didn’t stop—and neither did you.

Your fingers fisted in his shirt as he pulled you closer like he hated how much he needed to.

And he did need to.

Everything about it felt like a mistake you both wanted to make. His hands gripping your waist, your heart hammering in your chest. You kissed him back, furious and aching and overwhelmed—and god, it felt good.

When he finally pulled away, both of you were breathless.

His eyes were darker than you’d ever seen them. His voice came out raw.

“Don’t talk like that again.”

You blinked, stunned.

“Because I don’t want anyone else but you.”

He left you standing there, lips swollen, knees weak, your heart racing for all the wrong reasons.

And now… nothing was simple anymore.

—

The next morning, the smell of coffee floated through the house. The sound of gentle clinking came from the kitchen—your soft footsteps, the clatter of a spoon, the fridge opening and closing.

Hongjoong stood at the top of the stairs, staring down like a man about to walk into war. His hair was still a mess from last night. He hadn’t slept much.

How could he? Not after that kiss. Not after the way you had clung to him like you needed him—and the way he had kissed you like he couldn’t breathe without it.

He walked into the kitchen, expecting… something. A fight. An awkward silence. Maybe a stolen glance.

But instead?

You looked up, met his eyes, and offered the faintest smile “Coffee?”

He blinked “…What?”

“I made some.” You lifted the pot, calm as can be. “Want a cup?”

He stepped forward slowly “You’re acting like… nothing happened.”

You poured him a cup anyway and slid it across the counter “Nothing did happen.”

His fingers curled around the cup, jaw tight “Are you serious?”

You shrugged, sipping your own coffee like it didn’t taste like guilt and tension “You kissed me. It was probably the alcohol. Don’t worry about it.”

He stared at you like you’d just stabbed him “I wasn’t drunk,” He said.

You gave a soft, bitter laugh “You don’t have to explain, Hongjoong. It’s not like this marriage is real.”

That hit something raw.

He slammed the cup down “When are you going to stop pretending this doesn’t affect you?”

Your head tilted slightly, surprised by the outburst—but you didn’t back down.

“When you stop pretending that you don’t affect me.”

The silence that followed was heavy.

Hongjoong took a step closer, eyes locked on yours, voice low and tight “You kissed me back.”

“I know.”

“So what now? You act like it didn’t happen?”

You turned away, placing your cup in the sink with gentle care.

“Because it’s safer that way.”

That broke something in him.

“I hate this,” He whispered, almost to himself. “I hate that I’m the one losing sleep. That I’m the one thinking about you. That I care, and you just…”

“I care too,” You cut in, voice trembling just for a second. “But if I let myself feel it, if I let myself want this marriage…”

You met his eyes again.

“I’ll fall. And I don’t know if you’ll catch me.”

For once, he didn’t have a comeback.

And that silence? That was worse than any shouting match. Because in that moment, both of you realized—This wasn’t just a contract anymore.

It was something dangerous.

Something real.

—

Later that evening, Hongjoong was at a rooftop bar with his usual group. The skyline glowed behind them, drinks in hand, laughter echoing off the walls.

Except he wasn’t laughing. He hadn’t touched his whiskey. Just swirled it around like it might have answers floating at the bottom.

Seonghwa, seated across from him, narrowed his eyes “You okay?”

“I’m fine.”

“Hongjoong,” San said, leaning in with a raised brow. “You’ve been staring at your glass for ten minutes and the girl who’s been eyeing you hasn’t gotten a single look.”

Hongjoong didn’t even glance at her.

“It’s the wife, huh?” Mingi grinned teasingly, but then froze when Seonghwa shot him a look.

Hongjoong’s jaw ticked.

“No.”

“Yes.”

He ran a hand through his hair “I don’t know, man.”

Seonghwa raised an eyebrow “Do you like her?”

“It’s not that simple,” He muttered.

“It kind of is,” Wooyoung said, sipping his drink. “You like her, but you’re scared shitless that she doesn’t feel the same. Or worse, she does and you’ll mess it up.”

Hongjoong didn’t answer.

He didn’t have to.

Because the memory of you that morning—soft in the sunlight, strong in your silence, brave in your restraint—was burned into his mind like a damn tattoo.

°❈°

The house was quiet again that night.

You lay in bed, curled under the soft sheets of the room that was supposed to be shared, yet still felt like it was yours alone.

Hongjoong’s side was empty. He was out with friends again.

You turned on your side and stared at the painting on the opposite wall—the one you fought about the first day you met. The one he refused to give up. Now hanging in your shared home.

You hated that you noticed the way his fingers lingered when he brushed past you in the hallway. You hated that your eyes found him across the room even when you didn’t mean to.

You hated that you remembered the way he looked at you in that wedding dress—and how it made your breath catch in your throat.

But most of all? You hated how you wanted him to come home.

Not as your husband.

Not as your partner in a deal.

But just... him.

And that terrified you more than anything.

—

The sound of the front door clicking open at nearly 2 a.m. breaks the silence of the house. You’re curled up on the living room couch in your robe, a blanket over your legs, pretending to read but mostly just waiting.

Again.

You don’t look up as you hear the keys drop in the bowl by the door. Hongjoong mutters a tired “I’m home,” like that’s supposed to be enough.

“Three nights this week,” You say quietly, still flipping the page even though you haven’t read a single word. “Do your friends really need you that much?”

He pauses in the hallway “It was just a few drinks.”

You close the book with a snap “That’s not the point.”

Hongjoong exhales sharply, running a hand through his hair like you’re the one being unreasonable.

“I thought you wanted me to keep things normal. I’m trying, alright? This isn’t easy for me either.”

“No, you’re not trying.” You rise slowly from the couch, eyes narrowing.

“You keep saying you care. That the marriage matters. That I matter. And then you disappear. You flirt with other women. You ignore me in this house like I’m not even here. How am I supposed to believe anything you say?”

His jaw clenches. You see it. The flicker in his eyes. Like he wants to say something but doesn’t.

“Why do you keep doing this?” You ask, voice trembling now, but not weak. “Why do you keep confusing me? Do you care, or do you not?”

He doesn’t answer. He just stands there, staring at you like you’re an equation he can’t solve.

You grab your book from the couch “I’m going to bed. You can sleep on the couch if you want. Or out. Or wherever the fuck you actually want to be.”

You leave him standing in the hallway, and for the first time since the marriage began, you don’t look back to see if he follows.

The bedroom is dim when you step inside, the only light coming from the hallway and the soft glow of the lamp on your nightstand. You shut the door gently, the click of it sounding far louder than it should in the quiet house.

Your heart is still pounding, more from exhaustion than rage now. You toss the book onto the bed, but you don’t sit. You just stand there. Still. Silent.

And then you move.

Not on impulse, not in anger—but with clarity.

You grab your suitcase from the closet. You know exactly where it is. You’ve thought about this before. Thought about how long you could keep living like this—married but alone. Needed but unwanted.

Clothes go in one after the other. Not many. Just enough.

A place where he isn’t.

You fold a sweater with shaking hands, trying to breathe. Trying to hold onto the last thread of dignity you have left before it unravels completely.

In the living room, Hongjoong still hasn’t sat down.

He’s standing where you left him, staring at nothing. The silence presses into his chest like a weight. Your words echo—louder than anything else in his head.

“Why do you keep confusing me? Do you care, or do you not?”

He sinks onto the couch slowly, eyes unfocused. He doesn’t want to feel anything for you. He’s tried so hard not to. But you keep slipping through the cracks in his armor, and now you’re everywhere.

In the house.

In his thoughts.

In his life.

And suddenly he’s terrified. Not of the marriage. Not even of the feelings. But of what happens if you leave.

He gets up. Fast. He doesn’t even think. He reaches your bedroom door and pushes it open—Only to find you kneeling by the suitcase.

Packing.

You don’t look up right away. You just freeze.

His voice is barely above a whisper “What are you doing?”

“Packing.”

A beat.

“Why?”

You pause, hands frozen around the strap of a dress. Then you finally say it.

“Because I’m tired, Hongjoong. I’m tired of pretending this marriage doesn’t affect me. I’m tired of pretending you don’t affect me.”

Silence. He doesn’t move. You still don’t turn.

“You said you cared. That this marriage mattered to you,” You whisper, voice steady. “But you go out every night, avoid me every day, and act like being near me is a punishment. So what’s the truth?”

“Don’t do this,” He says—soft, panicked.

You finally look at him “I’m done waiting for the version of you who stays.”

That’s when he snaps. He rushes across the room, slamming the suitcase closed.

“You think this is easy for me? You think I don’t care?”

“I think you don’t show it.”

“I don’t know how!” He bursts, voice cracking. “I don’t know how to be a husband—I never planned to be one!”

“But then you came in and ruined everything. And now I don’t want anyone else in this house. I don’t want anyone else next to me at night. I don’t want to see you leave.”

Your breath hitches.

“And that scares the shit out of me,” He finishes, softer now. “Because if you leave, I don’t know if I’ll ever feel this again.”

You stare at him—really stare. No defense, no arrogance. Just raw honesty. Something you didn’t think he was capable of.

You slowly open the suitcase again, grab a shirt... and toss it at him.

His brow furrows “What the hell?”

“If you’re going to beg me to stay,” You murmur, “You better help me unpack.”

For a long moment, he just stares at you. Then a slow, disbelieving smile curves his lips—genuine, warm, and a little stunned.

And for the first time since the wedding...

Hongjoong finally stays.

≪ °❈° ≫

The morning after the fight, the house is quiet—but not heavy. There’s a strange lightness in the air, like a storm has passed and left the windows just a little open.

You wake up to the faint clatter of dishes. For a second, you think you’re dreaming. But when you pad into the kitchen, there he is—barefoot, hair a mess, sleeves rolled up, completely focused on the frying pan like it holds the secrets of the universe.

He doesn’t notice you right away. He’s muttering under his breath—something about how long eggs are supposed to take. You cross your arms and lean against the doorframe, watching him for a beat longer than you should.

“Didn’t know we were having breakfast,” You say softly.

He jumps a little, nearly drops the spatula “Shit—uh, yeah. I was trying to… y’know, be decent.”

You raise a brow, amused “Is this your way of apologizing?”

His ears go red “I mean, yeah. That, and… I didn’t want to leave again. Not today.”

You walk over slowly, eyeing the slightly charred toast and too-pale eggs. You poke at a piece with your fork.

“This is terrible,” You declare.

“I told you it’s not easy,” He groans, dragging a hand through his hair.

But you smile. Not a smirk. A real smile. And when you sit down, he does too—on the other side of the table, close, but not too close. Like you’re still learning the distance between strangers and lovers.

The morning passes in shared glances and quiet bites, and then in the living room, he shifts beside you on the couch. The TV is on, but neither of you are really watching.

“You don’t have to pretend with me,” You say, your voice quiet. “Not anymore.”

“I’m not,” He replies. “I think… I just don’t know how to be soft with someone I actually care about.”

Your heart twists at that. You turn toward him slowly “Then let’s learn.”

He hesitates for half a second—then lifts his hand, brushing your hair behind your ear. The movement is tentative, unsure. But his eyes don’t leave yours.

And then… he leans in.

The kiss is soft—softer than anything he's done before. It doesn’t rush. It lingers. His lips tremble just a little, like he still can't believe you're kissing him back.

When he pulls away, his forehead rests against yours, and for the first time, there's no walls between you.

“Let’s try this,” He whispers, “for real.”

You nod, your smile brushing his mouth “Okay. From the beginning.”

≪ °❈° ≫

Taglist: @domfikeluva @hurryupmars @a-tiny-thing @silenttrxxs @innocygnet @alliecoady98 @posseup @yothangie @a-atiny_niawoo @justconniez @niaee @0407files @maidens-world @zaynsfl4m3s @maplelilly05 @xh01bri @sannieily @nkryuki @lemonkait00 @khaskl08 @badbitch69420sworld @jilxxasu @vnxlla @lezleeferguson-120 @lunaryoongie @stayatinykatsy @milliesupremexx @unbroken-shadows @itzyejiluv @nyx-y @lover-ofallthingspretty @queenofdumbfuckery @johaeyeon @xopierrot @m0onchild-98

≪ °❈° ≫

All rights reserved ♡bunny-hwa. Do not copy or translate my work.

[desi2go]

Hey guys, you need to read that masterpiece🙏🏼 it's soooooo good

Maybe, in another life...

Pairing: Jung Wooyoung x Reader

Genre: Romance, Drama, Angst, Tragedy.

wc: 10,2 k

Warnings: Angst & Emotional Distress, Arranged Marriage, Themes of Love & Loss, Bittersweet Ending.

Summary: "Even if we can’t be together in the end, I’m glad you were part of my life." A love that lasted six years, only to be torn apart by duty and expectations. You and Wooyoung fight against fate, but when love isn’t enough, what’s left?

a/n: This is just a little thing that I wrote a while ago and I just wanted to share it with y'all, I hope you like it!

Next week I will upload a new series so stay tuned!! ♡♡

Permanent Taglist

October, 2019

The classroom buzzed with the usual mix of chatter, laughter, and the occasional clatter of chairs as students settled into their seats. You sat at your desk near the window, absently twirling a pen while gazing outside.

The autumn breeze swayed the golden leaves, and you let your thoughts drift until the scrape of a chair nearby brought you back to the present.

"Hey." A voice interrupted, hesitant yet oddly cheerful.

You turned to see a boy—tall, with tousled hair, a pretty mole under his eye, and a crooked grin that seemed almost too charming for its own good. He was clutching a textbook awkwardly.

"Hey." You replied, raising an eyebrow.

You've seen this guy before, you're in the same class, but being transferred to this school recently, you've never exchanged words with him.

"I think I’m... completely lost." He held up the book, pointing at the open page. "Are we supposed to be on this? Or... this?"

He flipped to another page, looking genuinely perplexed—or maybe just playing it up.

You smirked "The book is upside down."

"Oh," He said, blinking. "Right. I knew that."

"Sure you did," You teased, leaning closer to glance at the book. "What exactly are you looking for?"

"Honestly?" He grinned, shrugging one shoulder. "Your phone number or the answers of the exercise, the option you prefer."

"Wow," You said, feigning awe. "You’re either hopeless or a genius in disguise."

"Why not both?" He grinned wider, unashamed.

You rolled your eyes but couldn’t help smiling "Here, let me help before you embarrass yourself any further."

As you leaned in to guide him through the exercise, you caught a whiff of his cologne—light, citrusy, and unexpectedly nice. He listened—or at least pretended to—but his gaze lingered on you more than the book.

From the first day you arrived his gaze was always on you, your beauty was incomparable.

And he really wanted to try his luck with you.

"I’m Wooyoung, by the way," He said after a moment, sticking out his hand. "Figured I should introduce myself since I’m stealing your time."

"YN," You replied, shaking his hand briefly. "And you’re not stealing anything, just borrowing."

"Borrowing," Wooyoung echoed. "I like that. Borrowing implies I’ll have to return the favor."

"Not unless you manage to pass this class." You shot back with a smirk.

He laughed, the sound warm and unrestrained "Then I’ll just have to stick around you until I do."

✧

January, 2021

The park was alive with color that day—emerald grass stretching far and wide, dotted with vibrant wildflowers and families enjoying the crisp spring air.

You sat cross-legged on the picnic blanket, balancing a sandwich in one hand and fending off Wooyoung’s exaggerated attempts to steal a bite with the other.

“Woo!” You laughed, swatting at his hand. “You have your own!”

“But yours tastes better,” He teased, giving you a playful pout before collapsing dramatically onto the blanket beside you. “Everything you touch turns magical.”

“Oh, please,” You rolled your eyes while smiling. “You’re just lazy.”

“And you’re gorgeous.” He retorted, turning his head to grin up at you.

You threw a grape at him, which he caught in his mouth with impressive ease, earning a soft gasp from a nearby child who’d been watching.

Wooyoung sat up with mock grandeur, raising his arms as if he’d just performed a magic trick.

“Thank you, thank you.”

You shook her head, chuckling “You’re such an idiot.”

“And you love it.” He shot back, nudging your shoulder.

You didn’t deny it.

After your playful antics slowed, Wooyoung suddenly grew quieter. You were unwrapping a slice of cake when you noticed him rummaging through his backpack with an unusual intensity.

“What are you searching for?” You asked, leaning closer.

“Nothing.” He replied, too quickly.

Then, with a triumphant grin, he pulled out a small velvet box.

You froze “... What’s that?”

His grin widened as he opened the box to reveal a delicate silver ring with a blue butterfly at its center. The sunlight caught the gem, making it glimmer like it held a piece of the sky.

“It’s for you.” Wooyoung said simply, his voice softer now.

“Wooyoung…” Your voice caught in your throat as you looked at him.

He took your hand, his fingers warm and slightly trembling.

“YN, I know we’re young, and maybe people think I’m crazy, but I don’t care what anyone says. You’re the one for me. You make me laugh, you make me better, and you make me so damn happy.”

He swallowed, his gaze never leaving yours.

“I don’t need to know everything about the future, but one thing I do know is this. You’re going to be my wife someday.”

Your eyes shimmered with unshed tears “Wooyoung, this is…”

“Say yes,” He cut in, a playful smile returning “Or, you know, at least agree to keep the ring until you’re ready to say yes.”

You laughed through your tears and nodded, slipping the ring onto your finger.

“Yes. Of course, yes.”

Wooyoung whooped, pulling you into a tight hug before peppering your face with kisses, making you laugh even harder.

You spent the rest of the afternoon lying under the shade of a tree, your head on his chest, and your fingers playing with the blue butterfly that now adorned your hand.

✧

July, 2023

The grand living room of Jung’s family home exudes elegance—polished marble floors, an oversized chandelier that sparkled with cold precision, and an air of formality that made Wooyoung feel like he was suffocating.

He sat stiffly on the couch, his parents across from him, their expressions stern.

“We need to talk.” His father said, his deep voice cutting through the silence.

Wooyoung leaned back, crossing his arms “Sounds serious.”

“It is,” His mother replied, smoothing a non-existent wrinkle on her designer dress. “It’s about... YN.”

His posture straightened “What about her?”

His father sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose “Wooyoung, you’re young, and it’s natural to be infatuated at your age, but you need to think about your future.”

“I do think about my future. And YN’s part of it.” He shot back, his tone firm.

His mother’s lips pursed into a thin line “Honey, be reasonable. YN is a sweet girl, but she comes from a humble background. She doesn’t have the status or connections to stand beside someone like you.”

“Someone like me?” Wooyoung repeated, incredulous. “What’s that supposed to mean? You think I’m better than her because of money?”

“It’s not about being better,” His father interjected, his voice steady but sharp. “It’s about practicality. Your future wife needs to be someone who can complement your position—someone who understands the demands of our world and has the resources to support it.”

Wooyoung laughed, though there was no humor in it.

“So, it’s not enough that she loves me? That she’s kind and smart and makes me happier than I’ve ever been? You’d rather I marry someone who fits into your idea of a perfect business deal?”

His mother’s eyes softened slightly, but her resolve didn’t waver “We only want what’s best for you.”

“YN is what’s best for me,” His voice raised. “She’s more than a ‘sweet girl.’ She’s hardworking, loyal, and she doesn’t care about all this status nonsense. She loves me for who I am, not for the family name or the money. How many people in your world can say the same?”

His father frowned, but Wooyoung continued before either parent could interrupt.

“I know you don’t approve of her, but I’m not going to let you decide who I love. YN is my choice. And if you can’t accept her, that’s your problem, not mine.”

The room fell silent, tension thick in the air. His mother exchanged a glance with his father, her expression conflicted.

“We’re only trying to protect you.”

“I don’t need protection,” He replied, standing. “I need you to trust me.”

Without waiting for a response, he turned and left the room, his heart pounding. As he stepped outside into the cool evening air, he pulled out his phone and dialed your number.

“Hey, babe.” Your voice came through, light and warm.

“Hey, baby.” He said, his own voice softening. “I just needed to hear you. You’re everything to me, YN.”

⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅

Present

It had been six years since you and Wooyoung began your relationship, six years filled with laughter, love, and the kind of moments that made life brighter.

Wooyoung had always been the cheerful, mischievous boy who could light up any room, and that playful charm was part of what had captured your heart from the start.

Your relationship had its share of ups and downs, but the challenges were never between you. The love you shared was strong, unwavering.

The hard times always came from the outside—specifically, from Wooyoung’s parents.

You still remembered the first time Wooyoung had introduced you to his family. The tension in the air had been impossible to ignore, and the subtle but unmistakable looks of disapproval on Mr. and Mrs. Jung’s faces had spoken volumes.

From the moment you stepped into their lavish home, it was clear they didn’t see you as someone worthy of their son.

The differences between their worlds were undeniable. Wooyoung had grown up in wealth and privilege, surrounded by people who measured worth in status and connections.

You, on the other hand, came from a modest background, where kindness and hard work mattered more than designer labels or family names.

But those differences had never mattered to Wooyoung. He loved you for who you were, your genuine heart, strength, and the way you made him feel like he could be himself.

Unfortunately, his parents didn’t share his perspective.

From the beginning, Mr. and Mrs. Jung had made it clear they disapproved. They insisted Wooyoung needed someone of "equal standing," someone who could match the prestige of their family name.

You, they believed, were too ordinary.

But through it all, Wooyoung had never wavered in his devotion to you. No matter how hard his parents tried to interfere, he stood by your side, determined to show them that love wasn’t about status or wealth.

However; his parents never accepted that love.

“Excuse me, what?!” Wooyoung asks in shock at the words of his parents.

What that fuck did he just hear?

“The youngest daughter of the Lee family, Lee Haneul, will come to dinner, so you can get to know each other.” His father repeats again.

“Not that, what you said before that.” He asks again and the older man rolls his eyes.

“Mr. Lee and I came to the conclusion that it would be great if our families were united, so you would marry his daughter.”

"What?! Why me and not one of my brothers?" Wooyoung comes back to questions exasperated, this has to be a fucking joke.

His mother sighs, touching her templates “Woo, your older brother has a girlfriend and Kyungmin is nine years old.”

“And!? I also have a girlfriend and Kyungmin will grow up someday.”

“Wooyoung, stop complaining and do what we tell you.” His father scolds him.

Wooyoung looks at them in disbelief, and then exclaims an ‘ahh’ nodding, now he understands.

“I see, you're going to force me to marry that girl to get away from YN, right? That’s why you’re asking me and not the eldest son of the family.”

He laughs without desire, he doesn't deny it, it was an excellent move.

“Do you really hate her enough to arrange a fucking marriage for me with a stranger?”

“Wooyoung..” His mother starts but he interrupts her.

“No. I really don't want to hear the same old nonsense. I'm sick of this.”

Without further ado, he turns around to go to the exit, he does not want to see them for the moment. However, before he leaves the door he manages to hear his father's harsh words.

"Dinner is at eight, don't be childish and be punctual, Wooyoung."

Go to hell.

✧

“When are you going to tell her?” San asks, looking at his best friend who's pulling his hair in frustration.

“I don't know, man.”

"Man, I suspected something like this was going to happen." The eldest sighs, patting him on the back in affection. "It always happens in rich families like ours."

“Fuck!” Wooyoung complains like a little boy throwing a tantrum. “Why do these things always have to happen to me?”

“Don't know, Woo. But let's be positive and plan something to avoid that marriage.”

"The only person I'm going to marry is YN... I cannot allow myself to break my promise." He nods to himself and San smiles at his friend's determination.

He knows everything they have been through thanks to Mr. and Mrs. Jung.

"That's right, Woo."

✧

“When are you going to tell him?” Jongho asks out of his amazement.

You laugh at his expression and take the test from his hands to put it away.

"I don't know." You shrug your shoulders with a smile on your lips.

You look at the test again, 'positive-3 weeks' and smile like a fool. You have been feeling sick for several weeks now and your period was not coming, so you decided to take a pregnancy test to confirm your suspicions.

Wooyoung loves children and you're not afraid to tell him, but your in-laws do scare you.

So you need to get psyched up before you say it.

"Uh... Well, don't take long to tell him." Your friend murmurs with a small smile. "I'm sure Wooyoung is going to be very happy."

“I hope so.”

⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅

Wooyoung pushes open the café door, the bell above jingling softly. The scent of freshly brewed coffee fills the air, but it does nothing to calm the tight knot in his stomach.

His eyes scan the room, and there you are, sitting by the window, bathed in golden sunlight. You're scrolling through your phone, your lips curving into a soft smile.

For a moment, Wooyoung just stands there, watching you. He wants to freeze this moment, to block out everything else and just exist here, with you.

You look up and spot him, your face lighting up.

“Hey!” You call, waving him over.

Woo smiles, though it feels strained, and walks to the table. He leans down to kiss your forehead before sliding into the seat across from you.

“You’re late,” You tease, voice playful. “Got caught up planning another prank?”

He forces a chuckle, scratching the back of his neck “Something like that.”

You raise an eyebrow, setting your phone down “You okay, babe?”

“Yeah,” He says too quickly, grabbing the menu even though he already knows what he’s going to order. “Just... a lot on my mind.”

You tilt your head, studying him “Woo, you’re not a good liar. What’s going on?”

He hesitates, his fingers tightening around the edge of the menu “It’s just my parents,” He says finally, his voice barely above a whisper.

You sigh and reach for your coffee “What is it this time?”

Wooyoung shifts uncomfortably, avoiding your gaze “They’re just... being them, you know? All about expectations and what they think I should do.”

“Is this about us again?”

He shrugs, trying to play it off “It’s always about something.”

“Wooyoung, you don’t have to dance around it. Just tell me what’s bothering you.”

Wooyoung looks down at the table, his thoughts racing. He wants to tell you everything, to unload the frustration and the fear that’s been eating at him. But the words stick in his throat. He can’t bring himself to say it—not yet.

“It’s nothing I can’t handle,” He forces a smile. “Let’s not talk about them. I’m here with you now, and that’s what matters.”

You study him for a moment, your brow furrowed like you know he’s holding something back. But you don't press since you're also hiding something from him.

“Okay, but if it ever gets to be too much, you know I’m here, right?”

He nods, his chest tightening “Yeah. I know, love.”

For the rest of the date, they keep the conversation light. You talk about your day, avoiding mentioning what you discovered today, instead you tell him about a funny customer you dealt with at work, and Wooyoung listens, laughing in the right places.

But in the back of his mind, the weight of what he hasn’t told you lingers, heavy and unrelenting.

✧

The dining room in the Jung household is as grand as ever—too grand, Wooyoung thinks as he stands outside the door, dreading what’s inside. Crystal chandeliers cast a soft glow on the elaborate table settings, but all he feels is the weight of the moment.

He checks his watch. Twenty minutes late. Maybe they’ve already started. He sighs and pushes the door open.

“There you are.” His father’s voice cuts through the room like a blade. Mr. Jung’s face hardens as he looks at his son. “You’re late.”

Wooyoung doesn’t apologize. He walks to the table, his steps deliberately slow, and slides into the empty seat across from the girl. She’s dressed to perfection, her posture straight, a composed smile on her face.

“I was busy.” He says simply, reaching for the glass of water in front of him.

His mother narrows her eyes “Busy with what? You knew how important this dinner was.”

Wooyoung takes a deliberate sip of water before answering “I was doing something important with my girlfriend.”

The silence that follows is deafening.

Mrs. Jung sets down her fork with a sharp clink, her lips pressed into a thin line “Wooyoung, this is neither the time nor the place for your... antics.”

“It’s the truth.” He says, his tone calm but firm.

Across the table, the girl’s smile tightens. Haneul clears her throat and speaks, her voice smooth and composed.

“I don’t mind waiting, Mrs. Jung. It’s perfectly understandable that Wooyoung might be... distracted.”

Wooyoung’s jaw tightens as he looks at her. She’s playing along, but there’s a spark in her eyes that unnerves him—a determination that feels more like a challenge.

“Haneul, I’m sorry you’re stuck in the middle of this,” He says, his tone clipped. “I’m sure you didn’t ask for this any more than I did.”

The girl tilts her head, her smile never wavering “Actually, I think this arrangement makes perfect sense. Our families share the same values, and I think we’d make an excellent team.”

Wooyoung stiffens “Team?”

“Yes, marriage isn’t just about feelings, Wooyoung. It’s about partnership, legacy, and building something meaningful. I understand that your... current relationship feels important to you, but sometimes we have to make sacrifices for the greater good.”

His hands ball into fists under the table “My girlfriend isn’t a ‘sacrifice.’ She’s the woman I love.”

“And love,” His father interjects sharply. “Doesn’t pay the bills or secure the future.”

“It’s not just about love,” She says, her gaze locking with Wooyoung’s. “It’s about compatibility and understanding. And I understand you, Wooyoung. Probably better than she ever could.”

He stares at her, anger flaring in his chest “You don’t know anything about me.”

“I know enough to see that you’re capable of so much more than throwing away your future for... temporary feelings,” Haneul replies, her tone still calm but with an edge of steel.

“That’s enough, both of you,” Mrs. Jung says, her voice sharp. “Wooyoung, you will stop this nonsense and start acting like an adult. This dinner is about securing your future, not indulging your childish fantasies.”

Wooyoung pushes his chair back, the screech of wood against tile echoing in the room “If acting like an adult means giving up YN, then I’d rather be a child.” He stands, his gaze sweeping over his parents and Haneul. “I’m done here.”

As he turns to leave, Haneul’s voice follows him, calm but resolute.

“I’m not giving up on this, Wooyoung. You might think you have a choice, but in the end, you’ll see that I’m right.”

Wooyoung doesn’t look back. He storms out of the dining room, his heart pounding. As he heads up the stairs, the weight of their words presses down on him, but the thought of you—your smile, your laugh—gives him the strength to keep walking.

⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅

The restaurant is luxurious, the kind of place where the waitstaff move silently and the air smells faintly of roses and fresh linen.

Wooyoung sits stiffly at the table, his arms crossed over his chest as he glares at the untouched plate in front of him.

Across from him, Haneul sits poised, her chin held high, and a faint smile on her lips. She doesn’t seem bothered by his obvious disdain.

“This was unnecessary,” He mutters, breaking the silence. “Your parents didn’t have to set this up.”

Haneul raises an eyebrow, taking a sip from her glass of wine “They’re just being considerate. They wanted us to have a chance to talk—properly.”

“We don’t need to talk. There’s nothing to say.”

Haneul sets her glass down with deliberate care, her eyes locking on his.

“Oh, there’s plenty to say. You just don’t want to hear it.”

He scoffs, leaning back in his chair “What is there to say, Haneul? That I’m supposed to marry you because our parents think it’s a good idea? That I’m supposed to just forget about YN and pretend like this is normal?”

Haneul’s smile doesn’t falter, but her tone sharpens “This isn’t about pretending, Wooyoung. It’s about reality. You can’t run from it forever.”

“I’m not running,” He snaps, his voice rising. “I’m fighting for the life I want, not the one you and our parents are trying to force on me.”

“And what life is that?” Haneul challenges, leaning forward slightly. “A life with a girl who doesn’t understand what it means to be part of this world? Do you even realize what you’re giving up?”

Wooyoung glares at her, his hands clenching into fists on the table “What I’m giving up? I’d rather give up this fake, suffocating life than my girlfriend.”

Haneul lets out a short laugh, shaking her head. “You’re so naive, Wooyoung. You think love is enough? It’s not. Not in our world. You’re clinging to a fantasy while everyone else is dealing with reality.”

“I’d rather have a fantasy with my girlfriend than a fucking reality with you.” He bites back.

Haneul’s eyes flash, and for the first time, her calm facade cracks “You’re acting like a child. You think you can just stomp your feet and get your way? Grow up, Wooyoung.”

“I don’t need a lecture from you.”

“No, you need someone to remind you what’s at stake,” Haneul snaps, her voice rising. “You think this is about me wanting to marry you because of some stupid crush? This is about our families, our futures, and everything we’ve worked for. I’m not like you, Wooyoung—I think about the big picture. And whether you like it or not, I’m going to marry you. I’ll do whatever it takes.”

He stares at her, his anger flaring again “You don’t get it, do you? No matter what you or my parents do, you’ll never have my heart. It belongs to YN, and it always will.”

Haneul leans back in her chair, her expression composed once more “I don’t need your heart, Wooyoung. I need your name. And trust me, I’ll get it.”

The waiter approaches, awkwardly placing the next course on the table as the tension simmers between them.

Wooyoung doesn’t touch his food. Instead, he grabs his jacket and stands abruptly.

“This dinner’s over.”

“Walk away if you want,” Haneul says calmly, her voice following him as he storms out. “But you don’t have a choice.”

Wooyoung doesn’t respond. The heavy door of the restaurant closes behind him, but her words echo in his mind, sharp and unyielding.

✧

Wooyoung stands in the doorway, his hands stuffed deep in his pockets, his posture tense. You notice the slight sadness in his eyes before he even says anything.

The moment you speak, your voice soft and full of concern, you see it—the vulnerability he’s trying to hide.

“Babe?” You say again, stepping closer. “Are you okay?”

He doesn’t answer right away. He just steps forward, closing the distance between you, and pulls you into a tight embrace. His head rests against your shoulder, and he lets out a slow breath, his hands trembling slightly as they wrap around you.

Your heart races, sensing something’s wrong. You pull back just enough to look into his eyes, trying to read him.

“Woo, what’s going on?”

He shakes his head slightly, as if fighting off whatever emotions are rising within him.

“I’m fine.” He mutters, though the words don’t quite match the storm brewing inside him.

“Don’t lie to me,” Your hand reaches up to brush a lock of hair from his face. “I can tell something’s wrong. You don’t have to hide it from me.”

He stares at you, struggling. There’s so much he wants to say, but the words don’t come. His heart aches at the thought of losing you, but the reality of his parents’ pressure crushes down on him.

The arrangement, the future—he doesn’t want to drag you into it. He wants to protect you from the mess he’s in.

After a long pause, he speaks again, his voice quiet, almost inaudible “It’s just... everything feels so overwhelming.”

He swallows hard, trying to push down the fear that rises in his chest.

“I don’t want to burden you with it, love. I’ll fix it.”

You gently place your hand on his cheek, your thumb tracing the lines of his jaw.

“You don’t have to fix everything on your own. You can talk to me, you know that, right?”

He nods, but the weight of the situation makes him hesitate. If he tells you now, it will make everything real—and he’s not ready for that.

Not yet.

“I’ll handle it, love,” He pulls you close again. “I’ll fix it, I swear.”

You don't push any further, but the concern doesn’t leave your eyes “I’m here, Woo. Whenever you’re ready to talk.”

Wooyoung takes a deep breath, holding you tightly “I know, love.”

But deep down, he isn’t sure if he can ever truly solve this on his own. The thought of losing you to the weight of his family’s expectations makes his chest ache, but he’s not ready to face that reality—not yet.

After a moment you sit in comfortable silence for a while, the only sounds being the hum of the city outside and the soft beat of their hearts. Eventually, you shift to face him, your legs tucked beneath you as you gazes at him with a smile.

“Wanna just forget about everything tonight?” You ask, voice playful yet tender. “Let’s just be us, no stress, no worries.”

Wooyoung’s heart feels lighter at the suggestion. He nods, pulling you into his arms as you cuddle close. Your warmth envelops him, and for a fleeting moment, he forgets about the weight of his responsibilities, the future that looms over him.

He holds you close, his fingers running through your hair as you share a peaceful silence. You lean up, pressing a soft kiss to his lips—slow, lingering, and full of everything unspoken between you. When you pull back, you rest your forehead against his.

“Everything will be okay, Wooyoung,” You whisper, as if trying to reassure him, even though you don't know exactly what’s bothering him. “I believe in us.”

He closes his eyes for a moment, savoring your words, the feeling of you in his arms. Your love is his anchor in a sea of uncertainty.

And though the storm is coming, tonight, in this moment, he lets himself believe that maybe, just maybe, you can weather it together.

For now, it’s enough.

You spend the rest of the evening in the quiet intimacy of each other’s presence, no words needed, just the warmth of your shared space.

The night stretches on lazily as you eventually fall asleep in each other’s arms, the world outside forgotten.

⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅

“What?” Wooyoung asks, his voice trembling slightly, the shock settling in.

He stands frozen, his heart pounding against his chest. He can’t believe what he’s hearing. His parents exchange a look, and then his father speaks, his tone cold and stern.

"As you heard, my son, the wedding will be held next week. The preparations have already begun."

The words hit him like a punch to the gut. His mind races, and his stomach churns.

This cannot be true!

“Next week?” He repeats, his voice faltering.

The room feels like it’s closing in on him. His mother’s attempt to soothe him only makes it worse.

“I’m sorry for this, dear,” She says, her voice laced with what might be pity or disappointment. “But you have to settle down, and you have to leave YN behind. You have to put the Jung surname up.”

Each word feels like a knife twisting deeper into him. His mind is screaming,

No. I won’t let this happen.

But the words don’t come out. Instead, what comes out is pure fury “This is bullshit, fuck this stupidity.”

His fists clench at his sides, nails digging into his palms. He’s not going to stand here and take it, he won’t.

Without another word, he turns on his heel and heads for the door. He can hear his parents calling after him—his father’s voice sharp, his mother’s desperate.

But Wooyoung doesn’t care. He doesn’t even pause.

What he needs right now is to be in YN’s arms, to feel her warmth and her safety. She’s the only thing that matters right now. He can’t think about anything else.

But as he opens the front door, the last thing he expects is to find the Lee family standing there. Haneul is at the center, her triumphant smile enough to make Wooyoung’s blood boil.

“Hello, Wooyoung. Can we come in?”

Mrs. Lee asks, her voice sweet, but there’s a certain coldness to it that grates on his nerves. She’s not just being polite. She knows exactly what she’s doing. Haneul steps forward, the smugness in her expression making his stomach twist.

“We have things to talk about, Jung Wooyoung.”

At the sound of his full name, his temper spikes. He feels the weight of the world pressing down on him as if this whole situation has finally reached its breaking point.

Without thinking, Wooyoung closes his eyes for a moment and lets out a frustrated sigh.

Fuck.

The door looms in front of him like a barrier between his old life and the life he doesn’t want. He feels trapped—trapped in his family’s expectations, trapped by the weight of an arranged marriage, trapped by the smug smiles of the Lee family.

His thoughts are a blur, and the last thing he wants to do right now is talk to them. But with his parents behind him, there’s no way out.

The door opens wider, and he steps aside reluctantly, trying his best to mask his fury.

“Fine,” He mutters under his breath. “Come in.”

He knows there’s no escaping this. Not yet. Not until he figures out how to fight for YN.

As the Lee family steps inside, the air seems to thicken with the tension Wooyoung is trying desperately to ignore. Mrs. Lee is all smiles, her voice smooth and charming as she talks to his parents about the wedding plans.

“We were thinking about having the wedding at the Ritz,” Mrs. Lee says, adjusting her coat, as if the decision is already final. “A grand affair, of course. We’ll invite about two hundred guests, and the menu—oh, it will be exquisite! We’ve already spoken to the chef.”

Wooyoung’s father nods in agreement, his face a mask of satisfaction “Yes, we need it to be a perfect event. It’ll be the talk of the city.”

Mrs. Lee smiles approvingly, and then her attention shifts to Wooyoung, who’s standing near the door, doing everything he can to keep his emotions in check.

His hands are clenched into fists at his sides, but the moment his eyes meet hers, she doesn’t miss the subtle challenge in his gaze.

"Don’t worry, Wooyoung,” She says, as if reading his thoughts. “Everything is being taken care of. You don’t have to worry about the details. All you need to do is show up.”

Wooyoung feels like he might suffocate. He’s already exhausted, mentally and emotionally, and now they’re talking about food and guests as though he’s not even in the room.

It’s as if his thoughts, his feelings, don’t matter.

“Cake!” Mrs. Lee suddenly exclaims, her eyes lighting up as she looks to his mother. “We’re thinking of a three-tiered design—something elegant and modern, don’t you think? Something with a champagne flavor and gold accents. We can’t have anything too gaudy, of course.”

His mother smiles, nodding along “I agree, it should be sophisticated, but not too much. Let’s stick with the classics.”

Wooyoung wants to scream. He’s about to lose it. The details are endless, the food, the cake, the guest list. He wants to break free of it all, but he can’t move. He feels like he’s in a cage. The tension in his chest is unbearable.

“They’ll talk about this wedding for years,” His father adds, his tone satisfied. “It’ll set the standard for all future weddings in high society.”

Wooyoung’s stomach turns. It’s just a show, a way for them to solidify their power.

And through it all, he can’t stop thinking about YN. He was supposed to be with her today, to forget all of this, even if just for a moment. They’d planned a quiet dinner together, a small escape from the reality that was pressing down on him.

But now, thanks to the sudden appearance of the Lee family, he can’t keep that promise. He’d texted YN earlier, but now he knows she’ll be waiting for him, wondering where he is. He can already hear her voice in his head, filled with concern.

His grip tightens on the back of a chair, and he takes a deep breath, trying to steady himself. I’ll make it up to her, he promises silently, but the thought of his family’s expectations gnaws at him.

“We’ve decided on a date, too,” Mr. Lee says, taking a seat at the table, looking over at Wooyoung with an almost predatory grin.

“The wedding will be next Saturday. The dress fittings for Haneul have already begun. We’ve already chosen the designers, and they’re perfect for our family’s image.”

Haneul, sitting primly next to her parents, looks at him, a soft smile playing on her lips as if she knows exactly how he’s feeling. She’s enjoying this.

Wooyoung feels his patience slipping away, his vision blurring at the edges. This is a nightmare. He’s being suffocated by expectations, and there’s no way out. His thoughts spiral, and the only thing that keeps him from losing it is the thought of YN, waiting for him.

“You’ve been so quiet, Wooyoung,” Mrs. Lee says, noticing his silence. “Is everything alright? You look a bit… tense.”

No shit, Wooyoung thinks bitterly, but he forces a smile.

“I’m fine. Just… a lot on my mind.”

The tension in his voice doesn’t go unnoticed. Haneul’s eyes narrow slightly, but she hides it behind another smile.

“Well, everything will be fine once the wedding’s over,” She says, her voice sugary sweet. “We’ll be a perfect match, Wooyoung.”

The words feel like a slap to his face, but he says nothing. He can’t. All he can do is sit there, listening to them drone on about flowers, seating arrangements, and the best caterers in town.

Each word is like another heavy weight pressing down on him.

And all Wooyoung wants to do is escape.

God, YN, I’m so sorry.

⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅

You sit at your usual spot—a quiet little café tucked away in a street filled with warm lights and the hum of life passing by.

The place held years of memories, whispers of love exchanged over cups of coffee, stolen kisses between bites of cake, and laughter that once felt endless.

You have arrived early, excitement bubbling in your chest. You want to see him, to hold him, to forget about the world outside and just exist in the bubble you had created for yourselves.

But as the minutes pass, that excitement slowly turns into unease. Your fingers tap anxiously against the ceramic cup in front of you.

You glance at your phone for what feels like the hundredth time.

No messages. No missed calls. Nothing.

Your heart sinks. Wooyoung wasn’t the type to be late—at least, not without telling you. You try to shake off the creeping feeling in your chest, trying to reason with yourself.

Maybe he got held up at home. Maybe he lost track of time. Maybe—

No.

Deep down, you know something is wrong.

You force yourself to stay, clinging to hope. With every person that walks through the door, your heart leaps, only to plummet when it isn't him.

The sounds of laughter and conversation around you blurs, drowned out by the pounding of your heart.

You stare out the window, watching as cars pass by, as couples walk hand in hand, lost in their own little worlds.

More time passes. Too much time.

You swallow hard, trying to fight back the sting of tears. It isn’t just about tonight—it’s everything. The way Wooyoung has seemed distant lately, the way his voice wavered when you spoke, the baby…

You had felt it, the weight of something unspoken pressing between you two.

And now, it’s suffocating you.

Maybe San knows where he is, maybe San could tell you what is going on with your boyfriend… yeah, maybe you should go to his apartment and ask him.

Yeah, it's a good idea.

You put some cash on the table to pay and immediately you grab your stuff, you need to talk with San.

—

"Hey, YN! What brings you here?" San asks when he opens the door to his apartment.

It's after eight o'clock at night, and it seems a little strange that you're here.

With an embarrassed smile, you greet him "Hi, Sannie. By any chance Wooyoung is with you? Since yesterday he has not answered my messages and calls."

The best thing you could think of was to go to his best friend's house to ask about him.

"He's been behaving strangely for days, I notice he's worried about something, do you know what's wrong with him?" You ask in the hope that San will tell you something.

San scratches his head in frustration, damn it Wooyoung. How is he supposed to tell his best friend's girlfriend that Woo has been like this because he's getting married in a week?

"Sorry YN, but I'm not the one to tell you that." He says with pity. "How about you go to his house?"

You press your lips with a grimace, you don't think that's the best idea if his parents are there.

"Okay, Sannie. Thank you."

San only offers you a light smile but his chest aches because of your pitiful situation.

✧

The days without hearing from Woo have stretched into a painful silence. Each time you check your phone, there’s nothing.

Your messages and calls go unanswered, and it feels like he’s slipping further and further away.

You can’t stand this distance, not when you have no idea why he’s shutting you out. You know something’s wrong. You can feel it in the way he’s been avoiding you, like he's carrying a burden he doesn’t want to share with you.

And every second without him feels like a quiet ache, a hollow space inside you that won’t go away.

You try calling San today, but his words only leave you more confused.

“Sorry, YN, but I’m not the one to tell you that.” His pitying look is enough to tell you he knows more than he’s letting on.

What the fuck is going on?

Desperate for answers, you decide to track Wooyoung down yourself. At the last minute, he finally texts you.

Woo♡: Meet me at the cafe. We need to talk.

Your heart leaps in your chest as you immediately prepare to go. This is your chance to finally speak to him, to understand what’s been going on.

But when you pick up the small box you’ve prepared—a simple gift, a pregnancy test wrapped in a soft baby cloth, you hesitate.

You’ve known for a few weeks now, and you feel the weight of the secret pressing down on you. But you’re not sure if this is the right time to tell him.

The uncertainty only makes the situation worse.

You get to the cafe early, waiting in the corner of the room. The familiar warmth of the place does little to settle your nerves. Every passing minute feels like an eternity.

You want to hold on to the hope that this meeting will clear things up, that Wooyoung will finally explain everything.

When he walks in, you almost don’t recognize him. There’s a tiredness in his eyes that you haven’t seen before. His usual confident stride is slower, more burdened, and the weight of whatever he’s been dealing with is clear on his face.

When he sees you, he gives you a small, almost apologetic smile.

“Love…” He calls you like it’s a question, like he’s unsure of what to say next.

You smile back, trying to keep things light, but your stomach is twisting with anxiety.

“Woo, it’s good to see you,” You say softly, your voice catching a little.

He sits down across from you, running a hand through his hair, clearly restless. There’s something different about him today, something that feels... off.

“You’ve been acting strange lately,” You start, trying to get him to open up. “You haven’t been answering my calls or texts. I was worried.”

He winces, like your words are a physical blow “I know. I’m sorry, baby. It’s just... I’ve been dealing with some stuff. And I didn’t know how to explain it to you.”

The tension in the air thickens as he looks away, staring at his hands. You want to reach out and hold him, but something is stopping you—something that makes you afraid of what he might say next.

“You can tell me anything, you know that, right?” You try to keep your voice steady, but it shakes with the fear that you’re about to lose him.

He looks up at you then, his gaze meeting yours for the first time. His eyes are filled with guilt, regret, and something else—something you can’t quite place.

“YN, there’s something I need to tell you…”

You feel your heart race. Me too.

“I—I’ve been forced into an arranged marriage,” he finally says, his words coming out in a rush, like he’s afraid to say them. “My parents, they’ve been making all these plans behind my back... and now it’s happening. In two days.”

The world seems to stop as his words sink in. An arranged marriage? Your mind goes blank for a moment, unable to process what he’s just told you. The shock of it all hits you like a wave, and for a moment, you can’t breathe.

“W-what?” You manage to whisper.

The shock of his words still lingers in the air, leaving a heavy silence between you. Your heart feels like it’s breaking into pieces, but you fight to keep your composure, not wanting to overwhelm him more than he already is.

You’ve always been there for Wooyoung, in all the highs and lows, but this... this feels like a crushing blow that you didn’t expect.

The man you love is about to marry someone else, and there’s nothing you can do to stop it.

But something else is weighing on you, too, something you’ve kept hidden in the hopes that the right moment would come. And now, as he stares at you with those heartbroken eyes, you feel the weight of the little secret you’ve been carrying.

The box with the pregnancy test rests in your bag, and for a brief moment, you wonder if it’s the right time to tell him. You can’t shake the thought that it’s not.

Not now. Not when his world is falling apart.

You swallow hard, trying to ignore the way your stomach churns with uncertainty. Should I tell him?

You draw in a shaky breath, forcing yourself to speak through the lump in your throat.

“Woo... I know this is hard for you,” You whisper, your voice barely audible over the quiet hum of the café. “But you don’t have to go through it alone. I’m here for you.”

His eyes flicker with gratitude, but there’s a weight behind them that speaks volumes. He’s trying so hard to hold it together, but you can see the cracks.

You want to reach in and fix everything for him, to take away all the pain, but you know that you can’t.

For a moment, you think about your pregnancy, the little life inside you. You want to tell him. You want him to know that there’s more to your relationship than just the heartbreak, that there’s hope, even in the darkness.

But you hesitate. How can I tell him this now?

You look at him, his eyes searching yours, waiting for you to say something, to offer him the comfort he needs. And you feel your heart ache even more.

“Love, I don’t know what to do anymore,” He admits, his voice cracking as he looks down at his hands. “I feel like I’m losing everything... and I don’t want to lose you too. But I don’t have a choice. I have to do this. I have to marry that girl.”

I’m losing you too, Woo.

The thought lingers in your mind, but you swallow it down. Instead, you say the only thing you can think of.

“If this is something you have to do, then I’ll support you. I just want you to be happy.” You force a smile, but it feels fragile, like it might shatter any second.

He smiles weakly back, his eyes filled with a sadness that seems too much for him to carry. And in that moment, you wonder if he knows what you’re holding back, what you’ve been keeping to yourself.

“I don’t want this, I never wanted this. I want you. But now…” He shakes his head, unable to finish the thought.

You hesitate again, glancing down at your bag where the pregnancy test rests. You wonder if it’s better to just tell him now, to let him know the truth.

But what if it’s too much for him? What if it makes things worse?

You take a deep breath, your fingers trembling as they move to the edge of the bag. For a moment, you just hold it there, unsure of what to do. You could pull it out. You could tell him everything.

But the fear of pushing him away, of making things harder for him than they already are, holds you back.

“I love you, Wooyoung,” You whisper instead, your voice filled with the weight of everything unsaid. “No matter what happens, I’m here. I’ll always be here.”

“I love you, too.”

You watch his eyes soften, the weight of your words sinking in. For a moment, it feels like the world around you disappears, and there’s just the two of you. But in the back of your mind, you know the truth:

You’re not just here for him now, you’re here for something bigger than this, something you can’t ignore for much longer.

But for now, you let the silence settle between you. You let the moment stretch out, knowing that there will be another time, another moment when you can share your secret.

Because right now, it doesn’t feel like the right moment.

Right now, he needs your love, your support, and your strength more than ever. And if you tell him, you’re not sure if he’ll be able to handle both the weight of his family’s expectations and the weight of the future you’re both trying to build.

You squeeze his hand, feeling the weight of the situation pressing down on both of you. There’s no easy way to fix this. But for now, you’ll support him the only way you can.

By being there.

The air between you is thick with unspoken words, heavy with the weight of everything you both know but refuse to say. The quiet hum of the café surrounds you, but in this moment, it feels like you and Wooyoung exist in your own world—a world on the verge of breaking.

His hand is still in yours, warm but trembling slightly, as if he’s afraid to let go.

“Let’s go,” He says softly. “Just for tonight.”

You nod because you know exactly what he means.

Just for tonight, you want to forget the world outside. Forget the expectations, the heartbreak, the inevitable goodbye that lingers just out of reach.

Just for tonight, you want to pretend that nothing is changing.

The walk back to your apartment is quiet, but Wooyoung never lets go of your hand. His grip is tight, as if holding onto you will somehow stop time, as if it will keep you from slipping away.

When you step inside, the warmth of your home wraps around you, but it doesn’t offer the comfort it usually does. The atmosphere is different—charged, desperate. He stands in the middle of the room, looking around like he’s trying to memorize every detail, as if this will be the last time he ever gets to see it.

You swallow hard and step closer, resting a hand on his chest “Wooyoung…”

He closes his eyes, inhaling sharply at your touch, before his arms wrap around you, pulling you against him.

“I don’t want to leave you,” He murmurs into your hair.

Tears sting your eyes, but you don’t let them fall “Then don’t.”

His hold tightens, but he doesn’t say anything. You both know the answer.

This is the end.

But if this is your last night together, you don’t want to spend it crying. You don’t want it to be filled with sorrow and regret.

You want to remember this—him—as the boy you’ve loved for six years.

So you reach up, your fingers gently tracing along his jaw, tilting his face toward yours. His eyes are heavy with emotion, dark and unreadable.

And then, without another word, you press your lips to his.

The kiss is slow at first, hesitant, as if you’re both afraid of what comes next. But then Wooyoung’s hands slide into your hair, pulling you closer, deepening the kiss with a desperation that makes your knees weak.

He kisses you like he’s trying to imprint the memory of you into his very soul, like he’s trying to hold onto every second before it slips away.

Your hands clutch at his shirt, grounding yourself in the warmth of him, in the familiarity of his touch. His lips move against yours with a kind of ache, like a silent plea—don’t forget me.

You pull him with you toward the bedroom, and he follows without hesitation.

The night unfolds slowly, gently. There’s no rush, no urgency—only whispered touches, lingering kisses, hands exploring like they’re memorizing every curve, every scar, every breath. He moves as if he’s worshipping you, as if he’s trying to carve the memory of you into his heart.

Your name falls from his lips like a prayer, and you whisper his back just as reverently.

In that moment, there are no arranged marriages, no forced goodbyes, no broken promises. There is only you and Wooyoung, tangled together beneath the dim glow of the city lights filtering through the window.

And when it’s over, when his breathing evens out and his fingers remain laced with yours, you feel it—the quiet heartbreak settling between you.

You turn onto your side, tracing the outline of his face as he lies next to you. His eyes flutter open, and he smiles, but it’s the saddest smile you’ve ever seen.

“Promise me,” He whispers, voice hoarse from exhaustion and emotion.

You blink, brushing his hair from his forehead “Promise you what?”

“That you’ll be happy,” He says, squeezing your hand. “Even if I’m not there.”

Your throat tightens, but you force yourself to nod “Only if you promise the same.”

He hesitates, then leans in, pressing one last lingering kiss to your forehead “I promise.”

Neither of you sleep much that night.

Because when morning comes, Wooyoung will leave.

And for the first time in six years, you won’t be waiting for him to come back.

⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅

The ceremony is a blur.

It’s like Wooyoung is watching someone else’s life unfold before him, the soft chatter of the guests, the click of cameras, the music playing in the background, and Haneul, standing next to him in her beautiful dress.

But it’s not her he’s thinking about. It’s not the guests or the vows being exchanged. It’s you.

Always you.

He stares at Haneul, but his mind is elsewhere, far away, with the girl he has loved for six years. His heart aches in ways he can’t even describe.

Why? Why does it have to be like this?

Wooyoung can’t stop the thoughts swirling in his head—He never wanted this. He never wanted to hurt you. But here he is, in a room full of people, marrying someone else.

He thinks back to all the times you shared, all the quiet moments with you. The way you would smile at him like he was your whole world, the way you made him feel like everything was going to be okay, no matter what.

You had this way of making life feel simple, even when everything around him was so complicated.

But now... now he’s standing there, saying vows to another woman. Vows he promised he would never say to anyone but you. And Wooyoung knows it’s not just the pressure from his parents that makes him do this.

It’s because he feels like he has no choice.

It’s because he’s been taught that family, tradition, and status are more important than love.

As the ceremony continues, his eyes flicker to the door, half-expecting you to come rushing in, to call everything off.

Wooyoung knows you won’t. He knows you can’t. You’re too strong for that. But a part of him wishes, desperately, that you would.

Finally, the ceremony ends, and Wooyoung can hear the soft murmur of the guests as they begin to congratulate them. He shakes hands, forces a smile, and takes Haneul’s hand, though it feels foreign to him. They walk together, but it feels like he’s walking away from the only life he’s ever wanted.

A life with you, and only you.

The reception is just as hollow. There’s no joy in Wooyoung’s chest, no happiness in his smile, only emptiness. He feels like a ghost moving through the motions, pretending to enjoy the laughter and the music.

But inside, He is screaming for the one person who’s not here.

Love, I’m so sorry.

Suddenly, San approaches him. He’s holding something in his hands—a small box. He gives him a look that says everything Wooyoung needs to know.

San knows. San knows how his best friend feels, and maybe he knows the cost of this marriage—the one he didn’t want, but couldn’t stop.

San doesn’t say anything at first, just presses the box into Wooyoung’s hands with a heavy sigh. Wooyoung hesitates for a moment, wondering what this could be, but his fingers shake as he opens it.

Inside is a pregnancy test. A small, clear message that shatters his heart completely.

Six weeks...

Tears sting Wooyoung’s eyes as he pulls out a letter. Your handwriting, your words. His chest tightens, and sits down at a small table, alone, as the world continues to swirl around him.

Wooyoung unfolds the letter slowly, reading your final words.

“Woo,

I know this is hard. I know you’re not in control of all this. I’ve watched you struggle, and I know you’ve had to make impossible choices. I want you to know that I’m not angry. I’m not upset. I just want you to be happy. I’ll always love you, no matter what.

Even if we can’t be together in the end, I’m glad you were part of my life.

I will love you till the end.”

Wooyoung feels like the ground is slipping from beneath him. His heart cracks, pieces of it falling away, and he tries to hold them together, but it’s impossible.

You knew. You knew he couldn’t be with you.

You knew he was trapped.

The letter falls from his hands, and he reaches for the test again, mind reeling. She’s pregnant. And he never gave you the chance to tell him.

He left you behind.

Wooyoung closes his eyes and remembers everything—your laugh, your smile, the way you would hold him when everything felt like it was falling apart.

And now you’re gone.

You had chosen to let him go, to let him live the life he was forced into, and he can’t even tell you that he’s sorry.

He can’t even tell you that, despite everything, he has never stopped loving you.

Wooyoung grips the pregnancy test in his trembling hands, his breath coming in ragged gasps.

The sounds of the wedding reception around him fade into nothing—distant laughter, the clinking of glasses, the hum of conversation—all of it turns into static in his ears.

YN is pregnant.

His YN.

A sharp pang shoots through his chest, a feeling so unbearable that for a moment, he forgets to breathe. His fingers tighten around the letter as if by holding onto it, he can hold onto you, but the truth is suffocating.

You let him go.

You walked away, and he let it happen.

The weight of it crashes down on him all at once, and suddenly, nothing else matters—not the extravagant hall filled with hundreds of guests, not the whispers of their families, not even the woman standing beside him.

All he can think about is you, sitting alone somewhere, carrying his child, believing that he chose this life over you.

His feet move before his mind can catch up.

He turns, pushing past the guests, the chairs, the decorated floral archways. He needs to find her. He needs to fix this.

"Wooyoung?" Haneul’s voice cuts through the haze, sharp and knowing.

His steps falter, but he doesn’t stop.

“Where are you going?” She demands, and when he doesn’t answer, her hand grips his wrist, holding him back.

“Let me go,” He breathes, barely containing the storm raging inside him.

She doesn’t. Instead, her fingers tighten, her expression unreadable “Don’t make a scene.”

“A scene?” He lets out a bitter laugh, chest rising and falling erratically. “You think I care about that right now?”

Haneul’s gaze flickers to the small box still clutched in his other hand. Understanding dawns in her eyes, and for a second, something like sympathy flashes across her face.

But then it’s gone, replaced by cold calculation.

“You can’t leave,” She says, her voice eerily calm. “Not now.”

“I have to—”

“No, you don’t.”

He yanks his arm back, but her grip is stronger than he expects.

“Think,” She hisses, stepping closer, lowering her voice so only he can hear.

“You walk out of here, and you lose everything. Your family. Your name. Your future. And what will you do then? Run to her? Do you really think you can give her what she needs?”

His jaw clenches “I can try.”

Haneul lets out a slow breath, her expression tightening “It’s too late, Wooyoung. You’re tied to me now.”

Those words feel like a blade to his chest.

Too late.

No.

It can’t be.

But deep down, he knows she’s right.

His hands shake as he looks down at the letter one more time. The words blur together, but he can still see the last line clearly.

"Even if we can’t be together in the end, I’m glad you were part of my life."

His breath shudders.

You meant it as a goodbye.

You have made your choice.

And now, standing in the middle of a life he never wanted, Wooyoung is forced to make his.

The ache in his chest is unbearable as he slowly closes the box, tucking it away inside his jacket. He swallows back the scream threatening to claw its way out of him and lifts his head, meeting Haneul’s gaze with hollow eyes.

His fingers unclench. His posture straightens.

And just like that, Jung Wooyoung—the boy who once dreamed of love, of happiness, of a life with you—ceases to exist.

°⭒˚｡⋆⋆｡𖦹°⭒˚｡⋆

Taglist: @domfikeluva @hurryupmars @a-tiny-thing @silenttrxxs @innocygnet @alliecoady98 @posseup @yothangie @a-atiny_niawoo @justconniez @niaee @0407files @maidens-world @zaynsfl4m3s @maplelilly05 @xh01bri @sannieily @nkryuki @lemonkait00 @khaskl08 @badbitch69420sworld @jilxxasu @vnxlla @lezleeferguson-120 @lunaryoongie @stayatinykatsy @milliesupremexx @unbroken-shadows @itzyejiluv @nyx-y @lover-ofallthingspretty @queenofdumbfuckery @johaeyeon @xopierrot @m0onchild-98

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All rights reserved ♡bunny-hwa. Do not copy or translate my work.

[desi2go]

First words

pairing: dad!Mingi x mom!reader

warnings: fluff

summary: Your sweet little daughter speaks her first words.

The television flickered softly in the background, casting a muted glow across the living room. Mingi sank deeper into the couch, the wheight of hours spent practising singing and dancing clinging to his limbs like gravity itself had grown heavier. His body ached in familiar ways.

He was grateful that his schedule allowed to be home early, it was only 5:30 pm, an advantage when you have a baby that you actually want to see and spend time with. Sadly, he can't be always here this early, especially when they have concerts and tours. But now, comeback completed and already working on the next and the tour had come to an end not long ago, he was glad to spend this extra time with you, his beautiful wife for already two years and your ten month old baby.

Across the room, laughter bubbled like windchimes. You sat cross-legged on a fluffy carpet in the middle of the room, the baby propped up in your lap and steadied by your legs that held your daughter up.

You both had just finished bathing 'little peaches', how Mingi liked to call your daughter. He came up with this name in the hospital, just after you had given birth to the precious little human in an exhausting twelve hours process and he held her for the very first time after she had been checked up by the doctors and cleaned. You still remembered his wide smile as he cradled the 6,5 pounds small baby safely in his arms, rocking from side to side.

"Hello, my little peaches" he had murmured, nuzzling his nose into her rosy cheek, her skin so tender that he was afraid that she would shatter at just a small touch.

Right now, Saejin, her actual name you had chosen for her, meaning 'wisdom and truth' as well as 'beautiful treasure', was swatting her cute little hands at a rattle with pure, chaotic joy. Her cheeks flushed red with excitement, her eyes that reminded you so much on her father's sparkling like she knew that the world belonged to her now.

Mingi's tender stare switched between the TV and his two favourite people. He was so lucky to have such a beautiful wife that mostly cared for your daughter even when he unfortunately couldn't be present due to a world tour. It was cruel for him to be thousands of kilometres away from you but you had reassured that you didn't mind and nearly forced him out of your shared appartment. Sure, sometimes you hated your decision but luckily, Saejin was truly an angle, well mostly.

Her laughter danced through the room as you swayed the rattle from left to right. Absimently, you grabbed your phone to record the cute interaction, your phone gallery full of similiar videos.

Saejin's little tuft of dark brown hair stucked up into the air in small, untameable locks, a gift from you. Apart from the curls, she was a carbon copy of his father. You had seen baby photos of Mingi and you swore that he looked exactly like her. But you didn't mind at all.

As you pressed record, you hummed lowly as you let her catch the rattle and she waved it around herself in a clumsy manner, making you laugh.

"Are you going to be a musician just like dada?" you asked her, propping your phone up on a cushion so that you two were shown on camera. You carefully grabbed her tiny hands with yours, rocking the rattle in a steady beat. As she let the toy go and it fell on the rug, you grinned.

"No, right? You're going to be just like your mama. Mama knew it!" you giggled, caressing her tender skin and giving her a big smooch on the cheek, making her laugh highly and squirm.

"Well, can my little Saejin say mama?" you questions, looking her deep into the eyes which curiously stared back at you.

"Say mama" you exclaimed slowly, emphazising the syllables. With her ten months, she sometimes made small noises already, babbling that weren't really words but really close. It was just a matter of time before she would fill the apartment with her talking. And you were sure she will be as loud as your lovely husband.

"Say mama. Mama" you repeated again, playing with her fingers.

"Mama" she slowly mouthed, the word different from what she usually babbles.

Your mouth clapped open, squealing in joy and pressing her small body against your chest as you rocked both of you from side to side, making her giggle. Your chest filled with pride since her first real word ever was mama. Mama! She really said Mama! This was the best moment of your life, you swore!

You could die from the cuteness how she stumbled over the syllables. Despite her difficulties, she really said Mama!

Meanwhile, Mingi had just listened with one ear to your little antics while following the news. Nonetheless, he picked up the delicate word his little peaches had voiced with her high-pitched voice.

Immediately, his head whipped to you, mouth wide open and eyes big. He was so shocked. Never in his life he would have guessed that Saejin would so soon form real words. He pointed at her in disbelief.

"Did-Did she just?" he questioned and you nodded eagerly, your chest swelling with pride.

"She said her first word! Mama!" you squealed, kissing her cheeks. "Say Mama, Saejin. Mama" you tried again, smile from ear to ear as she once again stumbled over the word.

"Yes! You are a natural, Saejin! Such a smart girl, huh?" Mingi was still too stunned to answer. He was excited to experience such a milestone with his little peaches but honestly, he wanted so desperately for her first word to be Dada. He would be so happy just to hear her mumble it once. Once!

While you began preparing your daughter's bottle of milk a little while later, Mingi had switched places with you, watching his baby play with blocks that she mostly drooled on while she nibbled on them.

Giddily, he lifted her up and into his lap, cooing at her fondly when she immediately held his t-shirt with her small fists.

"Hey, my little peaches. Dada wants to hear you speak. Can you say Dada?" he exclaimed, heart beating fast as he impatiently awaited her answer.

But instead of mouthing the word, she fussed a little, a tiny hand reaching up to reach his dark brown hair that had just the same colour as hers.

He catched it in the air, holding her hand desperately. "Concentrate, peaches. Say Dada!" he tried again but there was still no answer. Disappointedly, he pouted, his shoulders hanging.

You watched him amused from the kitchen, shaking your head with a grin. "Dada" he sounded out once more, not loosing his hope. Saejin layed her head to the side, eyes sparkling in a childish manner.

"Mama" his little peaches answers after a few seconds, leaving her dada devasted and sulking in defeat.

You laughed as you reentered the living room with the warm bottle, brushing through your daughter's hair before giving Mingi the milk to let him feed his baby.

"She's mocking me" he complained, a big pout visible while feeding Saejin.

You snorted, taking place on the couch. "I don't think a ten month old baby can bully you, Mings"

"Either way. I'm really disappointed in you, young lady" he spoke, the last part directly to his little peaches as if he had caught her smoking cigarettes.

"Just say Dada!" he exclaimed wailing, almost sounding like a real baby himself. Instead of answering, she nibbled on her index finger, giving her dad a sweet, toothless smile. Frustrated, he cried out, wiping over his eyes in sadness.

"Don't you love your Dada?" he exclaimed, pointing dramatically at her. However, he couldn't hide his pained smile when she wrapped her entire hand around his one finger, not minding the drool that now sticked to his skin.

Even an hour later while making Saejin ready for bed, he tried to get her to say Dada. But she didn't budge, much to Mingi's dismay.

Little did he know that only two days later, his precious little peaches will call him Dada for the first time, leaving him beaming in joy.

[desi2go]

Sore muscles

pairing: Changbin x reader

warnings: fluff

Summary: what happens when Binnie comes home sore from a trainings session?

author's note: hey guys! I'm back (well I hope so). Sorry that I didn't post anything in the last months but my life is so busy right now that I sadly won't be able to post regularly. (But I'll try to update my story on ao3 whenever I have time!)

The door creaked open, dragging out the sound like it could sense his exhaustion, and you immediately heard the telltale signs of his struggle before you even saw him. There was the slow, uneven scuff of sneakers against the wooden floor, the sound of something heavy—his gym bag, no doubt—dropping to the ground with a dull, defeated thud. Then came a low, pained exhale, almost a groan, the kind someone makes when every breath feels like it takes effort. When he finally stepped into view, you barely recognized him.

His hoodie clung to his shoulders, damp with sweat, and his hair was plastered against his forehead in messy, dark strands. His normally bright, playful eyes were dulled with fatigue, and his jaw was tight, like he was gritting his teeth just to stay upright. Even the way he stood was different—his broad shoulders were hunched, his posture sagging as if gravity itself had decided to turn against him.

With judging eyes, you observed your boyfriend who leaned against the wall, his gym shorts were rumpled. His dark hair stuck to his forehead, even more, darkened with the efforts of the night. Honestly, he looked like he just survived a war, not a training session.

"Whoa" you said, closing your book and placing it on the table after sitting up straight on the couch. "You look... rough. Are you okay, babe?"

Changbin didn't answer at first, his eyes briefly roaming over your form before he balanced himself with pressing a hand on the wall. He exhaled slowly. "I bet you won't take a yes for an answer?" Trying to joke failed miserably, his grin only coming out crooked and his voice gravelly.

You stood up, crossing the room to meet him in where he tried so desperately to stay on his feet. "You walk like an old man" you judged him, eyes pinched together. "And I feel like one" he muttered quietly as he bent down slightly to untie his sneakers. Well, he at least tried, stopping in his tracks when he winced from the motion.

"What the hell did you do?" You mumbled worried, dropping to your knees to untie the shoes yourself before tossing them to the other pairs. "Today's training was insane. Chris recommend me the new coach. But oh boy, he is the pure evil, I swear." Changbin explained as he stumbled slightly when he wanted to walk to the couch.

"I didn't even know it was possible for my legs to hurt this much" You curled your fingers around his muscular forearm, guiding your boyfriend before he could topple over again. Every muscle felt like they were rock-hard, not from tension but from exhaustion, like they had been overworked to the point of rebellion.

"Sit down" you said firmly, leaving no room to argue. "I should-"

"Sit, please. Let me take care of you" you interrupted him, your tone soft yet brooking no argument. Sighing heavily, he let himself fall on the soft padding of the couch, nearly collapsing on top of it with a groan that sounded half relieved and half in agony.

He leaned back, closing his eyes eyes, head lolling to the side on a cushion. "I will be back, okay? I'm going to run you a bath" you pressed a quick peck on his damp forehead and headed to the bathroom in order to fill the tub.

While the hot water splashed into it, you dropped some soothing bathing oil in.

Meanwhile, you fetched him new clothes from the bedroom. It didn't take long for the tub to fill, so, you quickly headed back to the living area before your boyfriend fell asleep right then and there in his stinky clothes.

He layed there just like you had left him ten minutes prior, having not even changed his position in any way. Just his steady breathing told you that he was still alive. His eyes were closed, mouth slightly open. He looked cute and even though you wanted him to get as much sleep as possible, you shock him awake carefully.

Your hand cupped his cheek, caressing his soft skin. "Babe, wake up. We need to get you all cleaned up before you can sleep" you coaxed. He mumbled something incoherent, his eyes slowly fluttering open. Yawning, he stumbled with your help to the bathroom.

Carefully you helped him out of his clothes, peeling every piece off after the other. You pecked his cheek and went to throw the dirty clothes in the washing machine while he let himself fall into the tub with a sigh, soothing warmth enveloping his strained body. Changbin could practically feel how every little knot undid and his whole body went lax.

On your way back, you fetched him some water from the kitchen that you placed in his hands with a smile. Carefully, he took it with both hands, wincing even at the small motion. With a wash cloth, you spread water over his broad shoulders and neck and afterwards rubbed the remaining sweat off with shampoo.

The whole time, Changbin observed you through half closed eyes, fighting to stay awake. Yet, his gaze was always holding your form passionately. A trace of gratefulness in there. "I can't believe the new coach pushed you so much, even though you have dance practise tomorrow" you mumbled rather to yourself than him, anger bubbling inside of you.

Changbin lifted a hand out of the water and placed it on your arm. "It's okay. I said to him that he shouldn't go light on me just because I'm an idol. The training was good, just really exhausting." He explained, tracing his fingers over your skin. You sighed. "Just don't overdo it, okay? I don't want you injured"

He nodded and pursed his lips, indicating that he wanted a kiss from you. Rolling with your eyes, you pressed your lips together for a sweet peck. "Alright. Let's get you in bed for your massage" you declared, taking his hands and helping him out of the cooling water.

With one of your fluffiest towels, you dried him. "I feel like an old grandpa" he chuckled. You snorted. "I don't care. I love my sweet old boyfriend" you wiggled with your eyebrows. Grabbing the message oil, you followed him into the bedroom. The dim, amber glow from the bedside lamp casted flickering shadows across the room, highlighting the curve of his exposed back as he layed sprawled across the bed. In the air mingledthe subtle sweetness of your massage oil you had just uncapped.

With a gentle tilt, you let a thin stream of the golden liquid trickle onto his shoulder blades, watching as it pooled in the dips of his muscles before slowly gliding down his back. He shivered at the sensation, his skin reacting to the cool contrast against his warm body. Gently, you smoothed the oil across his shoulders with slow, deliberate strokes. You massaged him often, given his hard training sessions, he was often sore and you loved to help him relieve some of the pain with kneading the knots away.

Pressing your palms flat against his upper back, you let the warmth of your hands seep into his skin before you began kneading in slow, circular motions. His body was tight, muscles knotted from overexertion, but under your touch, he gradually began to unravel. Your thumbs pressed deep into the tension points along his traps, rolling out the stiffness with practiced precision that had come over time.

A deep, guttural sigh escaped him, his body sinking further into the mattress. "God, you’re so good at this."

You chuckled softly, leaning in just enough that your breath ghosted over his ear. "I know."

Your hands moved lower, gliding effortlessly down his spine, fingers tracing the ridges of each vertebra before pressing into the firm muscles of his lower back. Changbin flinched slightly at first, a reaction to the tenderness there, but you soothed him with slow, steady pressure, coaxing the tension away with each pass of youe hands. "Why do you always have to overdo it?" you murmured, working your way down towards his hips.

His lips curved into a lazy smile against the pillow. "Maybe because I know that you will fix me after"

You smirked, pouring a little more oil into youe palm before moving to his arms, your fingers digging into the hard muscle of his biceps and forearms. His body was all strength—firm, defined, yet completely pliant under your touch. You loved feeling the way he reacted, the way his breathing hitched when you found a particularly sore spot, the way his fingers twitched when you massaged his hands.

When you reached his legs, you both shifted until you straddled his thighs to get better leverage. He made a soft sound of contentment as you began working on his hamstrings, thumbs pressing deeply into the tight muscles, kneading away the ache with slow, methodical movements.

"That’s the spot," he groaned, gripping the sheets. Biting your lip as you worked, a grin was displayed on your lips. You didn't rush, instead, you took your time on every single knot, enjoying the way he melted beneath you. Your hands traveled down to his calves, rolling and squeezing, until every last bit of tension had faded. By the time you finished, his body was completely relaxed, his breathing slow and deep. You leaned forward, your lips pressing softly against the nape of his neck. "Feeling better?" His response was a drowsy hum, his fingers reaching out to blindly grasp yours. "Mmm… you’re a lifesaver."

You curled up beside him, draping an arm over his waist as you whispered, "Get some sleep."

With a content sigh, he pulled you closer, your bodies fitting together like two puzzle pieces, warmth radiating between you as sleep claimed you both.

☾☆☽

The next morning rolled by faster than you had expected. Changbin needed to leave for work early and since you were a pretty light sleeper, you heard his alarm go on. Grumbling, you rolled to your boyfriend's side, cuddling further into his embrace.

His hand traced patterns on your back. "Good morning baby" his low and raspy morning voice send tingles through your whole body. "Sorry my alarm woke you" he pressed a kiss to the top of your head.

"it's okay" you mumbled against his chest, remaining in this position for some time until he really needed to get up in order to arrive in time. You stayed in bed for a bit while Changbin went into the bathroom, still notably stiff from yesterday's workout session and still walking like an old man. You heard water running and then louder noises that made you perk up.

When he swore multiple time that you could even hear over the steady noise of the running water, you decided to check on him since that definitely wasn't usual for him. Slowly, you poked your head in. He was standing in front of the sink, his razor clutching in one hand while his whole lower part of his face was covered in shaving foam.

As he tried to move the razor up to his face, he winced, his muscles clearly stiff and sore. And maybe even a small strain hiding underneath the mass of his muscles. "Should I help you?" You asked in a gentle voice, careful not to spook him while leaning against the door frame.

His gaze immediately shifted towards you, letting his hand fall to the side. "You don't need to help me. Go back to bed baby. You need the sleep" he tried to coax.

You observed him with a judging look. "You're sure? I heard you swear. It's okay to ask for help. I'd love to take care of you" you soothed, taking the last few steps towards you and grabbed the razor. "Come on. Sit" you nudged him to the toilet where he sat down on the lid.

"You don't need to do that, you know?" He whispered as you leaned in, fully concentrated. "I know but I want to"

Carefully, you positioned the razor and shaved slowly. The way he watched every of your movements closely had you chuckling as you cleaned it with water.

"what? Afraid that I cut you?" You grabbed his chin and tilted his head to get better access. His eyes sparkled with adoration. "Never. I trust you wholly" he whispered, shutting his eyes as you reapplied the razor.

"You better be" you murmured, cleaning the little stubbles from the razor with the water in the sink.

"You're sure you can attend practise? Your arms seemed still pretty sore and I think they might even be strained." You argued, placing the razor on his cheek and pulling it down carefully, never once lifting your gaze from the razor.

"Well, I need to attend. The others will be disappointed and I can't lack in dancing" he answered, his hand playing with the hem of your sleep shirt.

"They will survive surely without you. Plus, I have already texted Chan yesterday night before sleeping. It's totally fine" you wiggled your eyebrows as you saw his impressed look on his face.

"I have nothing to say in it, right?" He smirked crookedly, eyes sparkling with adoration. You laughed mischievously.

"Nope, absolutely not. You will spend the day with me even if I have to chain you to the bed"

He snorted, shaking his head after you had placed the razor down and cleaning his face with a fluffy towel.

"Maybe I should remind you of your place, baby" he murmured seducingly, voice dropping as he flirted with you. His hand kneaded the skin on your hips, pinching it from time to time in a mocking manner.

You giggled, pecking his sweet lips. "Tempting, very tempting" you sing-sang, butterflies swirling in your stomach as he manhandled you as best as he could with his strained muscles, leading your lips on his for a hard and longing kiss. When his sore muscles had subsided, you were going to have a lot of fun.

[desi2go]

Christmas Scavenger Hunt

pairing: Jisung x reader

words: 4,3k

warnings: fluff, christmas

summary: You and Jisung share a magical holiday experience when Jisung plans a scavenger hunt filled with clues tied to your most cherished memories.

author's note: Hey guys! It's been a while since I posted something. Anyways, I'm back! I had so much fun writing this and btw it's for the StayblrHolidayEvent. I hope you enjoy it <3 Merry Christmas to yall!

-> @stayblrofficial

The first snow of December had come earlier than expected this year, layering the little town in a soft, powdery white. Everything felt quieter, more magical – the world had slowed down just enough to let her breathe. As you walked briskly through the streets towards Parchment Palace, the small independent bookstore where you worked. Your breath was foggy in the frosty air, twinkling lights lined the lampposts and wreaths decorated the storefronts with pops of red ribbon. You absolutely loved Christmas. It had always been your favourite time of year with hot chocolate, the smell of pine and cinnamon as well as Christmas movies you had watched a hundred times without getting bored. By now, you could quote every Christmas related movie that was ever produced. This year, though, felt different. There was something – or rather, someone – that made your cheeks warm even in the winter chill.

Jisung.

It had been only four months since you and Jisung started seeing each other. Four months of easy laughter, long conversations and quiet meaningful moments. He wasn’t the most outgoing guy due to his social anxieties, but he had this gentle, thoughtful way about him. Like he always noticed things others didn’t. You liked that about him, you liked a lot about him, actually.

The bell above Parchment Palace jingled as you stepped inside, the familiar smell of paper and vanilla candles greeted you. Sofia, your cheerful coworker and oldest friend, looked up from the counter and grinned widely. “Morning Y/n” she said, brushing her curly hair out of her face. “Someone’s looking extra giddy today” You rolled your eyes, a smile still spreading over your lips. “I’m just excited about Christmas”

She smirked, wiggling with her eyebrows. “You mean you’re excited about Christmas with Jisung” At her suggestion, you fought the blush that crept up your cheeks. “Maybe”

Sofia chuckled, holding up a small envelope that she waved through the air. “Speaking of, this was mysteriously dropped off for you earlier. No return address, no name. Just To Y/n. Care to explain?” You reached out after hanging up your jacket. “It’s from Jisung, isn’t it?” you murmured while Sofia urged you to find it out, observing the letter behind your back. Your heart skipped as your fingers brushed over the neatly folded paper. As you opened it, you immediately recognised Jisung’s handwriting, slightly messy but unmistakably his.

A little clue to start your day: Find where we first sat with coffee for two. There’s something there only for you to see.

Your lips parted in disbelief, rereading the few lines over and over again. “He’s sending me on a scavenger hunt?” Sofia clapped her hands together in excitement. “He is such a keeper. Honestly, he is making all the other boys look bad” You could hardly contain your joy as you shoved the note securely into your bag. “I can’t believe he actually did this” Sofia laughed, pushing you towards the door and holding your jacket in the other. “I will manage alone here. Go, you have got a mystery to solve”

❄❄❄❄❄

You stepped out of the bookstore into the crisp, snow-kissed morning. The streets were still bustling with holiday shoppers, their arms full of bags, red and green scarves tight against the cold. You tugged your own scarf closer around the neck, the note Jisung had left still snug in your bag. You couldn’t stop smiling. A scavenger hunt. He really planned a scavenger hunt. Jisung wasn’t the flashy or over-the-top like the romantic leads in Christmas movies you loved so dearly, but he had his own charm and this? This was exactly the kind of thing that would melt your heart. Thoughtful and so personal. It already felt like the best Christmas you had ever had, and it hadn’t even arrived yet.

The Blissful Brews was just around the corner, nestled between an old record store and a boutique that sold handmade jewellery. In that old record store worked Jisung. There, you had crossed paths for the first time as you bought your favourite albums and accidentally ran into him. You still remembered how his coffee had drenched your blouse and his deep apologies. The Blissful Brews was the kind of coffee shop that locals loved – warm and small enough that you could find someone you knew sitting in the corner with a steaming mug. The windows were fogged over from the warmth inside and the soft music spilled out as you pushed through the door. Rich espresso mingled with the sweetness of cinnamon and sugar – one of your favourite smells in the world, second only to fresh books and old paper. You paused for a moment near the entrance to take it all in. Everything about this place reminded you of Jisung. The first time you really met (well, if you don’t consider the little accident) and you were so nervous. He had invited you to a coffee as an apology. At that time, you didn’t know that he soon will cross the line between friendship and love.

Now, standing in the familiar warmth of the café, you couldn’t help but laugh at the memory. They both had been incredibly nervous, and the first few minutes were awkward as you had ordered. But this issue was overcome pretty quickly, and you were engaged in a deep conversation for hours. “Can I help you?” the young barista asked, leaning on the counter and eyeing her with an amused expression. You turned to observe the man that had dyed his hair in an unusual pinkish colour. You greeted him, telling him that you searched for an envelope. Of course, he knew you. He was the one that took your orders. Raising his eyebrows, he smiled. “A scavenger hunt clue, maybe?” You blinked, surprised. “Jisung told you?” The barista smirked sheepishly. “He may have come in last night and left something for you. That boy is so sweet” He gestured towards the back of the shop. Of course, why didn’t you think about it earlier? It was obvious that Jisung would have hidden at your table – the small two-seater tucked near the huge window where you had sat on your first unofficial date.

Your boots clicked softly against the wooden floor as you made your way to it, the hum of conversation and the faint clatter of cups filling the air. Your heart did a little flip when you saw a piece of paper carefully taped to the back of one of the chairs. He really did plan this whole thing, you thought. The handwriting was unmistakably Jisung’s, looking like he had been scribbling quickly.

Clue Two: Remember the big storm where you got soaked? You laughed at me ‘til you nearly choked. Go where we took cover and found some cheer, You will find your next clue there.

You couldn’t help but laugh at that memory. It had been one of your earlier dates, back in late September. The weather had been cold but clear when you walked around the town. Jisung, as always, had insisted on walking you back home after the successful date – even though it was a good twenty-minute trip, and his own apartment was on the other side of the town. Halfway through, the first droplets of rain started to fall that had been signalized by the dark clouds and the stormy wind. Small and cold, the water absorbed by your thin jacket. “Oh no” you had muttered, looking up at the ominous grey clouds overhead. Jisung, always the optimist, had grinned. “Maybe it will just be a drizzle” he commented.

Well, it wasn’t. Within moments, the rain had come down in buckets, soaking both of you to the bone, clothes clinging to your wet skin. You remembered standing there in the middle of the street, your hair plastered to your face, water running down your jacket in rivulets. And Jisung stared at you helplessly like he was trying to think of something heroic to do. “Umbrella?” he had stammered. “Too late for that” you said, giggling while you brushed your hair out of your face. Jisung had looked at you like you were slightly insane but the smile permanent on his lips. He had tugged you to a small shop, taking shelter there. The quirky little clothing shop near your apartment where he had bought you a fluffy, deep blue hoodie with a funny picture on it to keep you warm. So far, it was one of your favourite hoodies, creating a great memento of your date.

Now standing in that same clothing store, the second clue clutched in your hand, you searched through the cozy, cluttered shop filled with all different kinds and seizes of clothes in multiple colours. The old shopkeeper, looked up with a knowing smile. The smile of the grey-haired lady was kind and warm. “Ah Y/n” she greeted you, folding new clothes and putting them away on of the racks. “Jisung mentioned you would be coming by” You blinked. “He told you about this?”

Her laughter spread the whole shop. “Of course. That lovesick boy spent nearly an hour here yesterday, making sure that everything was perfect” You followed her to the counter as she pulled out a big paper bag. As soon as you opened it, your gaze locked on a red hoodie, decorated with small white snowflakes. You chuckled at the parallel to your past date. On top sat another note.

Here, my love, is clue three: Our bench in the park, Where we shared our first kiss. A memory I hold, sweet and kind, Go back there now and you will find the next clue.

❄❄❄❄❄

As you stepped back out into the cold, the snowflakes drifting lazily from the sky, you couldn’t stop the giddy excitement bubbling inside you. Every little detail Jisung had included so far – the places, the memories, the clues – was so perfectly. Your boots crunched against the freshly fallen snow as you walked quickly towards the park. The streets were busier now, families wandering hand-in-hand, and the shop windows glowing warmly in the gathering dusk. You pulled your scarf tighter around your neck, your breath misting in the cold air. The park wasn’t far from the clothing shop and soon, you found yourself standing at the entrance, the large trees stood brave in the falling snow, their branches dusted with snow.

The benches – especially the one you were looking for – were a small island in the white. You scanned the park, looking for the familiar sight. There it was, your bench. The bench where Jisung finally made you, his girlfriend. It was tucked beneath an old oak tree, the powdery snow gathering slowly on the wooden slats. The tree’s branches stretched overhead, and you could almost hear your memories of your past visits. The easy conversations, the quiet moments where you had leaned your head against his shoulder. And then, the kiss happened and symbolised the beginning of your relationship. He had seemed so nervous, his gaze wandering over your face, from time to time locking on your lips, not sure if he was allowed to lean in and capture them. You didn’t act differently.

Honestly, he had won your heart over at your fist unofficial date. As you told him about your day, your own eyes travelled over his soft, pillowy lips, imagining how it would be to kiss him. Eventually, he took all his courage and pressed his lips firmly on yours. Before you could even react, your mind still trying to understand what happened, he retracted. As he brushed through his hair in panic, stuttering apologies, you shook yourself out of your trance and grabbed the collar of his jacket. Swiftly, you pulled him towards you again, his voice was overflowing while you silenced him skilfully. This time, you lead the kiss and quickly, he recovered from the shock and reciprocated the tender gesture.

You reached the bench, smiling to yourself as you saw the small package, wrapped simply in brown paper and a beautiful red bow. Bending down, you brushed the thin layer of snow from the package and untied the bow as well as the paper. A big mug caught your eye, pulling it out from underneath the carefully wrapped papers to ensure that it won’t break.

You turned it to inspect the motif, heart fluttering in your chest as soon as your gaze fell on the photo printed on it. It wasn’t just any photo, no, it showed you two, his cheeks squished against yours tightly. You took it right here on the bench a few weeks prior on a date. Both of your smiles were bright, eyes sparkling with joy and adoration. Your chest tightened, touched by the thoughtful gesture as you pulled the mug close to your heart. This would be your favourite mug from now on. Inside, folded carefully, was the next clue. You pulled it out with a mixture of excitement and curiosity, unfolding it gently as if it were something fragile. Jisung’s handwriting filled the page.

Clue Four: It’s time for the final stop on our trip, Come warm up your hand and take a sip, Come Home where the heart will be, Find me, my love, and you will see.

Your heart leapt. Home. It was a simple word, but it meant so much to you. Your home had always been your apartment – your cozy little space filled with tons of books where you had lived since you moved into this town. But with Jisung, it had started to feel like more than just an apartment. As the weather was colder and rainy, you had spent much time there together, arguing over which Christmas movie to watch, cooking dinner side by side and wrapping presents for family and friends.

Slowly, over the last few months, it had become a place where you could imagine a future, a future with him. With this scavenger hunt, he wasn’t trying to be someone he wasn’t. He wasn’t flashy and didn’t plan some over-the-top romantic gesture straight out of a movie. What he had done was so much better – he had paid attention to the small, quiet moments you had shared. The memories that felt uniquely yours.

You read the note again, realizing what the clue actually meant. Jisung was waiting for you. “Home” you murmured to yourself, your breath fogging in the cold air. You felt a flutter of anticipation deep in your chest as you made your way back down the snowy path toward the street, eager to reach your apartment, to see what Jisung had planned next. The walk was quick, but it felt like an eternity. Each step seemed to pull your closer to something that had always been just out of reach – a feeling of belonging. With Jisung.

❄❄❄❄❄

When you reached your apartment building, it felt like the final puzzle piece was clicking into place. The familiar steps that led to the entrance, the little lobby with its mismatched furniture and the clattering sounds of neighbours going about their daily routines – all of it was comforting. It was home. Now, there was the promise of something even more special waiting inside. You climbed the stairs to the floor, your boots clicking softly on the old wooden steps. The snow outside created a thin layer of frost now thick enough to blanket everything in white. But inside, the warmth from her apartment was waiting – just like Jisung. When you reached the door, something was different.

The dim hallway light flickered above your head, casting soft shadows on the walls. But what really caught her attention was the way the hallway smelled. It wasn’t the usual scent of fresh air or coffee from the neighbours down the hall. This time, there was something warmer, sweeter in the air. Curious, you approached your door and paused, your hand resting lightly on the doorknob. The faintest glow of light slipped through the crack beneath the door, casting a soft, inviting warmth into the otherwise dark hallway.

You opened the door slowly, a smile tugging at the corners of your lips as you stepped inside, observing your apartment in search of Jisung. There, in the middle of the living room, was the most unexpected sight – a blanket fort. An actual blanket fort. You stood frozen for a moment, unsure whether to laugh or cry at how utterly this was. Soft blankets and throws were draped over every available surface, creating a small cozy cocoon in the centre of your living room. Christmas lights twinkled across the top, casting a soft glow. There were pillows scattered everywhere, some piled high inside the fort, others lining the floor like a cushiony path. It was like a childhood dream, but somehow even better – because this time, you had Jisung.

The small Christmas tree you two had bought together last week (well, he helped you with finding the perfect one since you couldn’t decide which one to get and brought it to your apartment since the tree was too heavy for you to lift). Despite your bickering that he should let you help at least with holding it up too, he wanted to do it alone, claiming that it was his job as your boyfriend. You had decorated the Christmas tree together, in the background played your favourite playlist to which you both sang loudly, hanging the handmade ornaments and paper snowflakes on the twigs.

Your heart swelled with pride as you took it all in, trying to figure out how you could get so lucky to have such a thoughtful boyfriend. And then, you heard him in the kitchen, he seemed to be preparing something but as he realised you were home, he stalked into the living area. Two steaming mugs in his hand, your favourites you recognised, His eyes displayed fondness when he observed you, smiling brightly.

“Hey, my love” he greeted you, placing the mugs onto the small couch table before turning to you again. You stepped closer, your feet light on the carpet as you walked towards him, his smile got playful. Hands on your hips, you tried to suppress the grin threatening to spread across your face. “So, this is the big finale? A blanket fort? You had me running all over town for this?” A mischievous smile appeared on his lips. “Hey now, this is a masterpiece. I spent hour building and rebuilding it until we both can fit inside. It’s the crown jewel of the scavenger hunt” he exclaimed, fully convinced with his grand idea. You raised your eyebrows, judging his so-called masterpiece. You must say that he did a really good job at building it.

“I must admit, it looks nice” you told him your decision, smiling fondly. “Did you plan all of this?” He nodded proudly, pulling you inside and placed a mug into your hands. As you analysed it further, you realised it was a hot chocolate topped with whipped cream, marshmallows and colourful sprinkles. Just how you liked it. The interior of the fort was cozy and intimate, pillows scattered across the floor, and the twinkling lights above gave the space a dreamy glow. You let out a breath you didn’t knew you were holding. “This is … incredible. This whole journey was wonderful.” you whispered. Jisung shifted, his comfortable scent wafting surrounded you, he smelled like home – your home.

“No need to thank me. Even though we are only four months into our relationship, I wanted to do something special. Because in this short time, my life has changed drastically. You became the centre of my life, my love.” he explained, pulling your hand into his, heating your cold fingers as he caressed the skin lightly. His gaze was soft, full of love when he continued.

“And I wanted you to feel how much everything I experienced with you means to me, every single memory we made together. How much you mean to me” You looked at him, your eyes shining while the weight of his words sank in. “I noticed” you stated quietly. “The café where we had our ‘unofficial’ date. The clothing store when we were surprised by the sudden rain. The bench where we shared so many memories, our first kiss included. You didn’t just send me running around town, Ji. You sent me through us”. Your boyfriend leaned back on his elbows, his gaze softening.

“That was the idea” he admitted. “Sometimes we get caught up in the present, in everything happening around us. And I just wanted to take you back – to remind us of all the moments that brought us here”. Your other hand traced the edge of one of the blankets as you took a deep breath, your voice trembling slightly. “It worked. Every step of the way, I felt it – how much thought, how much love you put into this. I’ve never had anything like this before, Jisung. It’s overwhelming, in the best way” The tears you fought to keep in, slowly escaped and rolled over your cheeks as you sobbed because of how much you adored this man next to you and the weight of not only his words but also his actions.

He cooed at you fondly, cupping your face with his hands, brushing the tears away while placing a sweet peck on your forehead. “Don’t cry. You know I can’t stand it when you cry” Soothingly he rocked you, humming to help you calm down. You smiled at him, puffy eyes but you promised that this were happy tears. “This” you said finally “is more than I ever could ask for” You leaned into him, resting your head against Jisung’s shoulder.

“I know that it’s not Christmas Day. But I have another gift for you” he stated, reaching into his hoodie pocket and pulling out a small, wrapped package. “I thought the fort was the grand finale?” You asked, narrowing your eyes suspiciously. He placed it gracefully into your open palm, his expression playful but tinges with something deeper. “You could describe it as an addition. Go on, open it”

You tore into the wrapping carefully, your fingers grazing the brown paper and the simple red ribbon. Inside was a small wooden box, its surface smooth and polished. Your breath caught as you opened it, revealing an assortment of trinkets nestled inside. There was a ticket stub from your first movie date, the corner slightly torn where he had fidgeted with it nervously. A pressed leave from the time you had from the time you spent in the park with a picnic as the weather wasn’t that bad, even for autumn. Several other things from past dates were laying in the box. The memories flooded back in vivid detail. “You kept all of this?” your voice broke again as tears welled up. He chuckled, his gaze steady. “Of course. I wanted to remember it all – the moments that made me realize how much you mean to me”

You swallowed hard, fighting the lump in your throat that made it difficult to speak. “I don’t even know what to say. This … This is the most thoughtful thing anyone’s ever done for me”. He smiled widely, pecking your forehead once again. “Thank you so much, Ji” “I’m glad, because you mean the world to me, Y/n. And I think there’s one more thing we’re missing to make this moment perfect” He brushed a hair strand out of your face, his touch lingering for a memory before his gaze dropped to your lips. “What’s that?” You smiled widely, already knowing what he is up to. After four months, you had figured out what he meant with that but you tagged along.

“This” The fondness in his eyes made your heart stutter and you couldn’t help but lean closer to him, capturing his lips with your own in a passionate kiss. His lips were soft, pillowy even, and you could even taste the chocolate from the hot chocolate that he had sipped on before. The kiss was filled with promises that only love could carry, the rest of the world melting away, leaving only the two of you and the quiet certainty that this was exactly where you were meant to be. When you finally pulled apart, you rested your forehead against Jisung’s, your eyes shining with joy while your boyfriend tightened his arms around you in a protective manner.

Comfortably, you leaned back and cuddled further into his embrace and the blankets that were like a fuzzy cocoon, enveloping you in warmth. You wouldn’t want to be anywhere else for the rest of your life. “We have got so much more to add to this box”.