desolatefusionfuture

[desolatefusionfuture]

So I listen to Kevin abstracts new album blush and I’ve never had such a creative kick then any album before that album is so good. Everything is just great about it. It’s like non-like there’s no cause he’s there’s no cohesiveness, but it’s just field with such good music. I feel like it’s probably one of the greatest self of all time, but putting that aside I love music. Music is my passion and I want to do music in the future. I wanna live off music. like most people do at least a lot of people cause I know there’s some who just make music just to make money or some shit like that but I hate how like newbie and just amateurish my music sounds I remember looking at a review and they’re just been stuck in my head all day all the fucking time and it was somebody on a OTY who said that I was trying too hard to be experimental and then when I read them like oh I’m not trying what no no I’m not and then I actually looked into it. I was making my music I was doing all day. I was looking at my demos for this album. I’m gonna make and I’m like what the fuck I think. I’m actually trying to be too experimental because now I’m noticing that I’m putting this Lofi filter on a lot of my music you know I like the Lofi sound it’s kind of cool but sometimes I want something majestic and I can’t do that but now I’m noticing I’m probably just using a Lofi vintage filter as an excuse for bad mixing because I am not a good mixer and sometimes the high hats just be hitting my ears, but listen to other people and they be making music sometimes in my ears, but it still sound good so probably I shouldn’t worry about that and I’m trying to make my music more production pace, but I wanna wrap on it on some BROCKHAMPTON shit on some blush shit like on that new Kevin Abstract album and I wanna sing a lot more I like singing, but I don’t have the best singing voice, but I do kinda like it and I wanna do more acoustic shit right and also people we can play instruments. I wanna play my own guitar though I wanna I’m gonna be involved in it and also I hate how passionate I am about this shit all this. I’m so passionate about music that is dead ass making me depressed cause I want to make a really good album, but I don’t want it to take long because fucking Kevin Abstract is looking for people on discord for blush too. You know what I wanna be on fucking blush too. I wanna be on fucking blush too. I wanna be on fucking blush too. I wanna be on fucking blush too number fucking two of blush. I wanna be on fucking blush too. I love blush one I love love spells. I love Kevin Abstract. I love Quadeca. I would love to work with those fucking artist for blush too. also, this voice typing is horrendous by the way, like mistaking so much words anyways I wish I could just be as good as people like Quadeca or some shit like that. I don’t one thing that kind of setting me back. I don’t have a keyboard to play keys and I can’t put strings on my shit like I do with some other shit. You’re so annoying. I don’t like putting it manually. I’m gonna try to save up some money or just make money to buy a keyboard for this shit cause it’s low-key getting on my fucking nerves and I know my sisters might be broke to give me that shit.

anyways tootles

[desolatefusionfuture]

I’m gonna start deleting some of my music because I begin to not been proud with some of the shit I’ve released especially the stuff. I just released just on a whim because I was bored and I wanted to release.

I love making music and I love to see what people opinion is on my music. I love listening to music, but I kinda want my discography to be more better. The only music or project that I’ve released that I’m actually proud of his urban thriller and some of Arno meaning but some of our with no meaning this is pretty cringe which just doesn’t sound good to me.

I released D3SOPUNK because I was mad at myself for saying I was gonna release music like the whole of 2024. But I didn’t and the album was like made in like one or two days and was just rapping on old beats that I made on FL studio.

The beats were great. I won’t deny that, but the rapping in the lyric writing was horrible. Some of the beats were bad because some of those beats were made on BandLab because I didn’t have access to my old computer which I do have access to now and that’s why I lied to my more recent music has been more experimental and much more production based like urban thriller.

I’ve deleted the punk from streaming services alongside with the bias, single and my newest EP. I woke up to the noise sorrow. I like how I woke up to the noise of sorrow sounds but I wish I released it as a single or just not have released it at all.

I may make an archive account on SoundCloud because I want to release more, but I don’t wanna ruin my discography as much as I already did. I want to make music that moves people and give people a feeling though aren’t we no meaning gave some people a feeling it was a dark project and I love some of the production, the ambient production that I did on there also, I forgot to mention that most of our project was made with BandLab. That’s why I was drumless and I feel like I did the best I could with that album and that’s kind of why I love it so much.

But he still like really bad on the songwriting not really bad but I feel like I could’ve done more of philosophical and darker thing but the songwriting but I kinda wanna read more so I can make my writing better especially in Afrocentric writing a love black history is really dark and I wish I could talk about it more but I wanna be smarter. It’s kinda like on some of the first lines on the first track of Art with no meaning dead doctors or I said I wish I was dead or born smarter is a cringe line, but is actually like really real to how I feel.

I like art with no meaning but there’s some things I don’t like about it and I kind of wanna delete that too, but I wanna keep it up there for as long as I can before I make an album I actually think is perfect. And after I make an album, I’m really proud with. I could probably delete that streaming services. I might still keep it on band camp though.

I feel like my potential is huge my ideas. My vision issues is so far above my skill level. I wish I had the skill level of a Quadeca or a Tyler, The Creator but I’m too newbie. I’m too low level. I two on skilled. I’m too untalented to do that shit and I wish I could I wish I had my keyboard, but my keyboard fucking broke And I can’t play any synths or keys. It’s annoying. I might just have to manually put the keys on the fucking thing because I don’t have a keyboard I have guitar. I’m an acoustic guitar which I want to learn how to play more but I’m too lazy too but when time comes, I’ll be playing that shit making beautiful melody sometimes but I just don’t know what to do with them And I want a drum set, but I’m too broke for that shit. I need a job so I can get a drum set and I can play drums probably electric drums cause right now living in New York or not right now limit Texas right now, but I’m gonna move back to New York like next week or so But I would like electric drum so I can just bang on that shit with my headphones on

Cause playing drums just looks so fun. It looks like it could take a lot of stress off. I’ve talked to some people and they said I feel like playing my drums. I’m gonna get off. Makes me feel like that when they play their drums. It just takes a lot out it takes a lot of anger out. For example I was watching the series heartstopper on Netflix, which is really good. I wanna go back to watching it every time he was mad you go to play his drums and I’m like wow I wanna do that. I could probably do that with the guitar. I just got learned some more But like when I’m angry I just be like yelling to a pillow or just trying to find something to call me down or listening to music, which works, but I feel like I wanna have the same effect.

I don’t know when to end this rant, but I’m just keep on going or probably not. I might just send it here. It’s pretty late. Might go to sleep. I’m just here.

Go listen to urban thriller don’t listen to anything or release after that or my recent single release is single that I’m probably not gonna take down cause I kinda like it though there is some flaws in the first track. Why do I release music with flaws in them? I don’t fucking know.