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Ray-Ban Sunglasses

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Whos awake? Message me in need of conversation.

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See? God hates me

So we’re fighting a demon-possessed serial killer and I, the soft and adorable bard (Cassidy), end up rolling high on most of my checks while the poor noble fighter man (Bor) is taking Ls.

Me (ooc): I’ll give you some of my luck dude, I’m sending u my energy

Bor rolls low and hits the demon for a tiny amount of damage, I roll a perception (nat 18) and see that theres that bitch ass demon right over Bor

Cassidy: Watch out! The demon is right there Bor! *nat 20s and stabs the demon for 9 dam (we’re lvl 1)*

At this point I was flanking the demon with Bor

Bor gets possessed by the demon, goes nuts and nat 20s on the damage roll, dealing 12 damage to Cass’s 9 health and downing her instantly, those were his only high rolls for the night. Everyone was fucking dying laughing and I was wheezing from laughter. I started to play Aerith’s theme as the scene played out.

Tl;dr: i give luck to my friend and get paid back by dying instantly

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I still hate it. It’s humiliating. Not to me it’s not. Thor: Ragnarok (2017)

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This Monk LITERALLY bare fist fought Odin

Ok, so I was running a Norse mythology based campaign and the group consisted of a blind kobold assassin, a dragonborn cleric, an elemental ninja, a tiefling bard, a lizardman sorcerer, and a monk/fighter from a different world(i forgot what his race was)

Setting: FimbleWinter just finished killing all life in Midgard, Ragnarok begins, my players took Loki’s side, so they were with Hel throughout  FimbleWinter, they just defeated Freya and are now fighting Odin (our monk is our strongest character)

GM: Odin, in his godly armor and Mjolnir in his hand, is now before you, What do you do?

Monk OOC, before anyone can speak: I call him a bitch for using armor and a weapon!

GM: roll a d20

Monk: nat 20!

GM: *sighs as he has to redo Odin stats* He pulls off his armor and drops his Mjolnir

Long story short, Odin did not win and our Monk is worthy of Mjolnir

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Pumpkin Spice Eevee Pin made by Xhilyn

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A hundred years passed and my brother and I discovered the new Avatar, an airbender named Aang. And although his airbending skills are great, he has a lot to learn before he’s ready to save anyone. But I believe Aang can save the world.

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If youre over the age of 20 and lost all your teen years to mental illness and never got to be normal, or have healthy relationships, went down the wrong path or diddnt have the right nurturing support from BOTH your parents and now you have to sort of catch up on your life whether thats getting your license, getting your GED, starting college, fixing your mental health, or starting things you told yourself to start or try again and again no matter what it is, and trying to fight to live and accomplish shit you FEEL you should have accomplished as a teenager but diddnt have the capacity or insight to care about due to mental illness.

I am so incredibly sorry, and im thankful youre here and alive and trying!!! also;

You are N O T a failure you took your time because you couldnt put more on yourself than you could bear to carry and that is a mark of self care so dont ever feel bad about it

I am so fucking proud of you, youre trying your hardest to get to the top even though it may be harder now, you could have given up but you havent and for that you are victorious and i am in awe of you.

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video originally from @comediandjpryor on instagram 

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Deerington’s Betrayal

Bit of a long one and more of a story than a quote but here goes. Some context, a few sessions back our human rouge (HM) killed off our tiefling bard (TB) on account of endangering his pet deer Deerington during a fight with some misc. woodland monsters. Now this being only three sessions into our campaign, I thought it would be a terrible waste of a good character to have him die on the spot, so TB and I plotted. I’d have the ghost take over the deer’s body and every so often he’d him roll to perform a random poltergeist-y thing to freak out the party. Long story short, TB’s ghost possessed Deerington for two MONTHS of sessions, no one even questioning why TB’s player hadn’t rolled up a new PC. After one particularly interesting incident with a cleric NPC it comes out that Deerington is possessed and HR, all but forgetting the PC he offed, is panicking, worried about the wellbeing of his deer. The scene plays out like this:

Cleric NPC: Well, I’m not sure what you want from me, there’s a ghost in this deer

HR: Can you get it out?!

CNPC: I can try

While this is all going on, I frantically text our absent bard to facetime us, as I really didn’t think he would’ve been revealed when he wasn’t here. I tell him the time has come and let HR know that he’ll be getting a call in a moment and to answer it. The second he looks at the caller id he goes mental.

HR, having started screeching before even answering the phone: NO YOU VILE HUMAN BEING GET OUT OF MY DEER

TB, via facetime and through fits of laughter: WASSUP F**KERS

The rest of the party is losing it, I can’t stop laughing, and our rouge has finally stopped computing and is laying on the floor crying in anguish for his pet deer.

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Riddle me This!

During this one shot campaign, the DM created a magician that cursed everyone in town that made them ask riddles for giving us the answer for anything. By about halfway through it everyone was expecting every NPC we ran into to ask a riddle and after going through a huge Bee castle (that i accidentally ignited all the honey in it) and capturing a large bee with a fantasy Pokeball, we reached the boss.

DM: You enter the centre of the castle into a green court yard. On the far end there is a very disgruntled gnome bee keeper that has a bow and a quiver of arrows.

Boss: WHY ARE YOU GUYS BURNING DOWN MY CASTLE!? I’ve worked very hard to run this honey company and you just waltz on in without even a question and slaughter my bees! (starts to draw his bow)

Me:  WAIT! wait before we fight, do you have any riddles?

Boss: Any riddles? why in the world would I ask you a riddle?

Me: OH, would you like to hear one?

Boss: Well sure I guess?

Me: Let me get a bit closer so you can hear me better.

Me: Ok. Riddle me this! (ooc) and I attack him with both my swords.

Proceed to land both hits with both swords and one shot the boss by severing his head like scissors.

Rest of party in hysterics and DM was pretty caught off guard by what happened and saddened he didn’t get to use the arrows that had bees stuck to the ends of the arrow heads that the boss had.

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